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Corn and
broccoli idli
YOU NEED
1 cup suji/semolina(dry roasted)
1 cup curd
½ cup corn (boiled and blended
coarsley)
½ cup broccoli (grated)
½ onion (finely chopped)
1 tbsp coriander (finely chopped)
A pinch of baking soda
Salt (if required)
Ghee to brush mould
YOU MUST
Mix all the ingredients to form a
batter.
Steam in a mini idli mould for 8
minutes and serve.
hef Shazia Khan is the host of Mother’s
enu on LF, celebrity chef, teacher,
uthor, culinary expert, entrepreneur and
homemaker. She also has a presence on
arious other YouTube channels, and was
recently awarded Celebrity Chef of the
Year.
ABOUT THE SHOW
Mother’s Menu aims to encourage mums to eat
healthy and making well-informed choices when it
comes to their child’s nutrition. The show features
healthy recipes for expectant mums, newborns,
post-natal nutrition for mums and babies, and
recipes for fussy eaters from three to nine years.
Expert nutritionist Vasudha Sainik will also talk
about healthy replacements for junk food and the
science behind a child’s nutrition.
January 2020 | 51
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Bringing home
a new baby
Your baby is here. What are the things you need to do straightaway?
Arundhati Nath tells you
fter nine long clothes. Take your time to get ● Several baby outfits, a pair of
months of anxious all your post delivery queries socks, sweaters and a baby cap
wait, your newborn addressed to before leaving the ● A changing table to change
is finally in your hospital. Do not feel rushed. diapers
Aarms. Your friends
and family are excited and you THE FIRST CAR RIDE: Make sure WELCOME BABY HOME: “The
can’t wait to get home. Fun and 2to buy and place a car seat to 4birth of my baby changed
celebration are to begin when take your baby home safely. It is my life and my entire family’s
the new member of the family advisable to use a car seat even if life too. Each and every member
gets home. Here is a checklist on the drive to home is a short one. of the family was eager to meet
bringing home your new baby. It is not safe to carry your child the baby, and they took turns
in your arms while your partner to carry and feel the my little
LEAVING THE HOSPITAL: If drives the car. A single sudden girl,” says Nanditha Sandeep,
1you have any questions about jerk could throw the baby out of mum to little Sana. Most families
your baby’s health and hygiene, your arms. would celebrate the arrival of a
breastfeeding or vaccination, do baby through various religious
ask your doctor before leaving THE CHECKLIST OF ITEMS: ceremonies and fanfare. Introduce
the hospital. Make sure to note 3It is essential to have all the the new one to the family and see
when you need to visit next for necessary items ready at home the smiles all around.
your child’s check up. Dress up before you reach. Your family’s
your baby in a comfortable pair support and partner’s CELEBRATE: Maitri Karthik
of clothes, preferably cotton if it’s help is very essential here. Here is 5remembers when her son
warm. Avoid overdressing him. You a checklist of items you will need Atharva was born, her family
will not fit into your pre-pregnancy after reaching home: and friends went berserk.
clothes yet. It is advisable to dress ● Baby bibs and burp clothes “Their excitement helped me
up in comfortable loose fitting ● Bottles and nipples feel enthused,” she says. We
● Formula and breast pump planned an elaborate birth
● Diaper bag with lots of diapers announcement and came up with
● Nursing pillow, nipple cream our own poem for Atharva. We
● Diaper cream, baby powder tried several chocolate brownies
● Nursing pads and bras before deciding which ones to
● Crib, cradle, stroller and distribute. My friends decorated
mattress our car and room for the baby’s
● Baby bathtub, soft towels arrival home. It was like a mini
● Baby soap, oil, cream and wedding. In fact, some of them
shampoo, prepared a small dance. We’ve
● Baby nail clippers, baby brush recorded all of it for
● Blankets, mosquito net our baby to enjoy when he grows
● Waterproof linen and baby wipes up,” says Maitri.
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Wondering how
quickly you can
see your little one
smile or when
he can wear his
first shoe? Here’s
your guide for
what and when to
expect cute baby
milestones
What baby
What baby
will do when
will do when
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treats like chocolate. But does this mean any. Keep swimming times short at
it’s okay to give your baby chocolate? first—not more than 10 minutes, and
No. The answer is - it’s best to wait. build up from there. Take your baby out
Even though you may love the taste of if he starts to shiver or looks like he’s
it and your baby will enjoy it too, it’s had enough. Because your baby’s body
best to wait until he turns a year old is not equipped to regulate his body
before letting him have his first bite. temperature well until about 12 months,
Meanwhile, try introducing new fruits make sure the water is warm enough
and vegetables after six months instead. for him. Give swimming a miss if baby
So relax, have a chocolate bar for is unwell or tired. He will be physically
yourself and know that in a few months and developmentally ready for formal
little one will be old enough to enjoy it swimming lessons by age three or four.
with you.
FIRST OUTING
FIRST SWIM Feel like taking your baby out and
You are often drawn to the benefits introducing him to the outside world?
that swimming lessons offer kids, but Unless you’ve had a home birth, your
are unsure of the age they should start? little one must have already experienced
Babies younger than two months, have his first outing on his journey home.
low immunity and are vulnerable to Considering that you need time to
illness, so we recommend that you recover and he needs time to build his
should not take your young infants in immune system, it’s safe to take him
to swimming pools or the lakes or the outside after a month or two. As soon
FIRST SIP OF WATER ocean. In the early months, you can as you feel ready, it’s fine to take your
Most babies will get all the hydration encourage him to get comfortable in newborn for a short walk or to visit
they need from breastmilk or formula water by taking baths together at home. the loved one nearby. It’s best to keep
for the first six months of their life and trips short at first, to limited about
will not require any additional water. When he is six months of age, you can 30 minutes. When you are out with
But if you’re wondering when can your consider enrolling him in to swimming your baby, make sure you dress him
infant have his first sip of water, at six lessons (make sure they have qualified appropriately for the weather. Don’t
months, your baby is ready. Be careful instructors) or you can join a parent forget to add or take layers off your baby
though. For, if you give him too much, and child swimming class if you find when needed.
it can possibly cause a tummy ache
or make him too full to be able to eat
properly. Giving newborn babies water
could also interfere with their ability
to absorb nutrients from breastmilk or
formula. Well after his first birthday,
when he’s eating solids and drinking
milk, you can let him drink as much
water as he likes. While a few sips of
water will not cause any harm to your
young baby, you should give water only if
your doctor has instructed it.
FIRST BITE OF CHOCOLATE
Yes it’s so absolutely delicious, it’s only
natural that you’d ask, ‘Can I give my
baby chocolate?’. When you’ve found
something that is so yummy, you want
to share it with your child and let him
see that it’s a beautiful world filled with
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motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
FIRST UNSUPPORTED SIT where it is safe, barefoot is best for an stick to cotton jablas and avoid buttons,
At five or six months, he will slump or improved grip and to encourage good bows or tight tees that need to be pulled
topple sideways while trying to sit up. development. over your baby’s delicate head. Cottons
At about eight or nine months, you can are the best bet for newborns; they keep
see him sitting completely erect without FIRST SHAMPOO their delicate skin safe and off allergies.
support for the first time. You can help Though most of you might wash baby’s
your baby learn to sit by encouraging hair only with water, he can have his first FIRST SUCCESSFUL POTTY
him to play lying on his tummy as much hair wash with shampoo anytime after You have brought all the equipments,
as possible. Try to get him to look up, he turns eight to 10 weeks old. Initially, made him comfortable, taught him how
by using colourful and noisy toys, or by you only need to wash baby’s hair once to use the potty. Now all you can think
pulling funny faces and making sounds. a week. Use a mild, hypoallergenic, of is when you can ditch those diapers.
As always, and especially when he’s just fragrance-free baby shampoo. Support Well, some kids start as young as 18 to
learning to sit, be sure to stay close to his head and shoulders with your free 24 months, others may not be prepared
your baby in case he falls. hand and gently massage a tiny blob to learn until well past their third
of baby shampoo onto his scalp. Rinse birthday. Most children become toilet
FIRST SHOE the shampoo with a damp washcloth or trained by age three or four. Key signs
The moment he takes her first step directly under the faucet, cupping one of readiness include pulling his pants
unassisted, you may be tempted to rush hand across your baby’s forehead to up and down by himself and knowing
straight to the shoe shop. But, only when avoid getting his eyes wet. when he has to go before it happens.
he starts tottering around outside the Put the potty in an accessible place and
home and needs more protection than FIRST PROPER OUTIFT tell your child where it is. Encourage
socks, consider putting on a comfortable The baby stores will be gleaming with him by making him sit on the potty as a
pair of shoes. Shoes are only meant to fancy and colourful clothes but you part of his daily routine, perhaps when
protect your baby’s feet; they don’t help can dress him up in fancy shirts and dressing in the morning and before
him learn to walk any faster. Indoors, jumpsuits after 18 months. Till then, the evening bath. Be sure to praise
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all attempts to use the toilet, even if
nothing happens.
FIRST SLEEP THROUGH
THE NIGHT
Generally, after four months of age, an
infant should be able to sleep at least six
to eight hours straight without feeding.
And by six months, he should be able to
sleep at least eight to 10 hours without
a feed. How can you encourage it? Well,
let him sleep. Slowly start extending the
time between nighttime feedings until
you get there. And don’t rush to pick
him up the moment he cries at night.
If he’s not sleeping through the night
by six to eight months, it might just be
because you’re hitting the nursery too
often at night. But you may mention it
to your pediatrician if the baby keeps
crying and has difficulty falling asleep.
FIRST SELF-FEED
It can be exciting to see your little one
saddle up to the dinner table with you.
At around eight to 12 months, your child
will begin to use his thumb and index
fingers to feed himself. Between 13 to 15
months, he will start using a spoon, and by
18 months, he will start using her utensils.
It’s only at age four, that your child will be
able to hold utensils like an adult. Until
then, be prepared to help out.
FIRST GIGGLE
As a parent, it is one of the biggest
moments you’ve been waiting for. You
will get to see him giggle when he’s
around three to four months old. His
first laugh may be inspired by something
as simple as his favourite toy or activity
or pet or sound or person’s face (that
would be you or your husband). You
can encourage his laughter by talking to
your baby often and making funny faces,
goofy dance moves or silly sounds. Have
fun discovering what makes your little
one light up with laughter. Don’t panic
if he keeps a straight face at first. At
three months, if he is only cooing
and gurgling, there’s no cause for
concern.
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To new
beginnings!
time of the year which First Ultrasound: Seeing that questions, discuss concerns and
the whole world little blip and watching the tiny at the end of the session, leave
celebrates—The heart beat for the first time can with a bonding experience.
beginning of a brand make your heart skip a beat.
ANew Year. If you are Labour Pains: Even though
expecting your little bundle of Wave of Nausea: Even the you may be dreading this
joy this year or are a new parent, feeling of nausea is welcomed one, it is still an experience,
then this is a very special year by many expecting mums, as and interestingly, after the
for you, as this will be the first of it gives them the sense that baby is born, most women
many things to come. Here’s a everything is well with the will remember it will a lot of
little sneak peak as to what you pregnancy. fondness.
can expect as firsts……
Movements: Feeling the first FOR NEW PARENTS
FOR PREGNANT PARENTS flutter, the first kick of life in Holding your new baby: This is
A positive pregnancy test can your belly and experiencing the a feeling that cannot be beaten.
bring about a lot of thoughts, same with your partner is an Your heart will melt with all the
feelings and emotions, but have emotion that you will never be feels as you hold your li’l one in
you thought about all the things able to describe. your arms.
that as a first time parent you
are going to be treated to? Anomaly Scan: A memory to Breastfeeding: The first time
keep since this is the scan done your little one latches and
at 20 weeks, where you will be suckles with a little hand resting
able to see your baby in full on your breast is a feeling of
detail. You may want to keep the ultimate bliss.
pictures as a memory in your
baby album. Skin To Skin For Dads: You read
Meet the Maternity Photo Shoot: Don’t that right. Dads should also
indulge in some skin to skin
EXPERT forget this one as it can help to with the baby. It’s an amazing
create a lifetime of memories, bonding experience.
M&B’ panellist Sonali Shivlani is an Internationally
that you and your partner will
Certified Pregnancy Consultant and a child nutrition
cherish and look back on. Shopping: Wanting to buy
counsellor. She is the executive director of CAPPA
every cute item in the store for
India, and also trains aspiring birth professionals to
achieve certification in pregnancy, birth and Prenatal Class Experience: your mini-me can be a surreal
lactation counselling. The first time that you walk into experience. You will really need
a room full of other expecting to control your impulses on
couples and tentatively ask this one!
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Doctor’s visits: Even though
you will have many many of
these, it’s a good idea to have
a list of questions ready for
your first paediatrician visit as
it can help to reduce a lot of
anxiety.
Keepsakes: You may want to
create some keepsakes—like
the hand and foot print, baby’s
lock of hair, first pictures, first
sounds and anything else that
comes to mind to create your
very own memory album.
First Social Smile: This is the
first milestone which most
babies will achieve at around
one month of age.
Milestone Memories: You may
also want to create a record
of all the milestones that your
little one achieves—the first
sound, the first time the baby
rolled over, the first picture
of the baby crawling, the first
word spoken, the first time the
baby ate solids and so on. The
first year of life will be a time
for many many ‘firsts’.
Your newborn will soon grow
into a toddler, a busy child and
then an even busier teenager.
The first year is a time to
cherish as you will share
many memorable moments
together. Many cuddles, hugs
and tender moments. There
will be many frustrating
moments as well when you
may feel helpless and wonder
why you even decided to take
on the mammoth job that is
parenting. But over the years,
as you watch your little one
flourish under your guidance
and love, this year of firsts will
always be firmly etched in your
memory.
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w Communicate
T with your baby
Gain a deeper
understanding of
how your baby
communicates, and
put your new skills
into practise, and
you’ll be surprised how
much stronger your
connection becomes
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o one knows your baby as well as you. But know you optimise how you connect with your baby. It outlines
a little more and you’ll be able to build an even how he communicates and comprehends, so you can
stronger, longer-lasting bond. Establishing recognise his subtle cues and respond more effectively.
N a secure connection between the pair of you And you’ll find activities to refine these heightened skills.
relies upon effective communication. This guide will help It’s a self-perpetuating process. Your easily understood
NEWBORN
2 MONTHS
When your baby is born,
he already has the skills to Watch carefully and you
immediately recognise and will notice, from around six
bond with you. ‘A newborn 1 MONTH weeks, your baby start to 4 MONTHS
is very quick to develop a After four weeks of life open his mouth and move Physically, your baby is far
relationship with his mother, outside the womb, your his tongue purposefully. He stronger and uses his body
who usually offers his main baby has made huge strides might also move his hands more. Heed his behaviour
means of survival,’ says in his ability to or arms at the same time. and try to work out what it
Victoria. He can recognise communicate. He can now This is called ‘pre-speech’ means. So if he reaches for
your voice and hearing it focus his eyes and see details and is your baby’s latest an object, communicate
soothes him, even when he of your face. ‘A baby is communication skill. that you understand by
is asleep. He also knows intently interested in faces,’ ‘Recognise that your baby passing the object to him.
your scent and the smell of says Victoria, ‘which is is trying to communicate ‘Mothers who naturally
your breastmilk. Use these important if he’s going to with you,’ says Victoria, tend to their babies’
senses to communicate learn vital skills such as ‘and talk back. This is communicative efforts are
with him with skin-on-skin language.’ He’ll be happy to crucial. Research shows more likely to respond
contact and gentle chatter. gaze at yours for minutes at that babies are not appropriately,’ says Victoria.
At birth, your baby’s a time – so let him! persistent. If you don’t ‘And their babies are more
vision is unfocused and he He will also begin to respond, they’ll stop trying. likely to learn faster.’
can only ‘see’ to a distance smile purposefully now. And those babies will learn Your baby now hears the
of 30cm. ‘Your baby can Previously, his smiles will less than those who get an sounds you make distinctly
detect if you are looking at, have simply been practice appropriate response.’ and listens to them carefully.
or away from him,’ explains manoeuvres, but now he He’ll also have started to He’ll try to make the sounds
Victoria. ‘It’s important to responds directly to you, in UISM ^WKIT [W]VL[ )\ ÅZ[\ you do and will enjoy you
him that you do look at particular to your voice. these will be vowel sounds repeating these back to him
him.’ He’ll recognise you by ‘All babies instinctively start such as ‘ooo’ or ‘aaa’, and aW]Z ÅZ[\ KWV^MZ[I\QWV
the shape of your head and to smile at a very similar your baby may get upset if ‘It doesn’t matter what you
your hairline – which is why age,’ says Victoria. ‘And if you don’t copy or respond say, as long as you talk
he may be upset if you you support this early to his efforts. He’ll listen back,’ explains Victoria.
appear with your hair up! behaviour by copying it intently to you – watch and ‘It’s not just about teaching
He communicates and smiling too, they’re you may see him move his your baby words and their
mainly by crying, to likely to do it more. Most body in time to your speech. meanings. You’re also
prompt you into action and parents instinctively imitate He has good control of his showing him you are a
remove the cause of his their babies and that’s eye muscles now so your social partner who will
discomfort. crucial to a baby’s face becomes far clearer. reliably respond to him
learning.’ Don’t underestimate how in a predictable way – and
much he still enjoys looking that’s really important!’
January 2020 | 61
motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
responses will instantly reward and renew your baby’s in his ability to communicate. So be prepared to adapt how
efforts. The frequency and depth of your interaction will you relate to him as his skills develop. Your baby was born
skyrocket and your bond will deepen. with an instinctive wish to interact with you and use all his
senses to form a strong bond. So listen to what he has to
At birth, your baby's brain is 25% of its adult size. But by ‘say’ and discover who this little person is. He is trying to
the age of two, it has grown to 75%, facilitating huge leaps fathom you out too!
6 MONTHS
By now, your baby is trying 12 MONTHS
hard to get a handle on the Your baby may well be able
tricky business of speech. 9 MONTHS to say one or two words, 18 MONTHS
He’ll often babble and Usually on the move by and can follow simple Your toddler will now
make repetitive sounds, this age, your baby will commands, demonstrating increasingly use language
‘speaking’ in nonsensical realise that he is physically that he understands what \W N]TÅT PQ[ W_V VMML[ »)
‘sentences’ to mirror the separate from you. ‘As your you say. ‘Babies understand baby acquires lots and lots
way you talk. ‘He baby starts to become way more than they can of new words at this point,
understands that more independent, you speak at this age,’ says and it’s important to
communication is a might notice him looking Victoria. ‘Parents are often demonstrate that you
two-way process and will back at you to check that preoccupied with whether understand what he’s
anticipate and expect your what he’s doing is safe,’ says their baby is talking yet, but saying so he knows he’s got
answer,’ says Victoria. He’ll Victoria. ‘If he was with it’s comprehension that’s the right word. Show him
have mastered all the vowel his mum, he wouldn’t need important. Babies who he’s succeeding and using
sounds by now, and about to worry – he knows Mum understand more at one his language appropriately,’
half of the consonants. would make sure it was year do better at academic says Victoria. Pass him the
Listen to his babbling and safe. But without her, he’ll assessments later in life.’ toy when he asks. Tell him
you’ll quickly be able to look to check.’ Notice these Now that his verbal skills the name of the object he’s
work out those he knows. backwards glances and are coming to the forefront, pointing at. Smile and say
As his speech develops, reassure or redirect him. don’t forget to heed your thank you when he blows
he’ll start to make His hearing is now well baby’s body language too. you a kiss. Don’t overrule
recognisable sounds. developed and he’ll Notice when he is pointing him every time he says
»)\ ÅZ[\ \PM[M _QTT JM respond to your voice even at an object – he may point ‘no’, but ask him why he
repetitions such as ‘ma-ma’ if it’s very quiet. Make the with his whole hand rather doesn’t want to do
or ‘da-da-da’,’ says most of this by chatting to \PIV I ÅVOMZ [W Q\ UQOP\ whatever it is. He’ll be
Victoria. ‘Respond to your him when you’re out of his not be obvious. ‘This is a delighted that you have
baby with the actual word sight. His vision is nearly as JIJa¼[ _Ia WN ÅVLQVO W]\ listened and understood.
you think he is trying to good as an adult’s, so he the name of an object,’ ‘But the single most
say, rather than repeating can see and understand explains Victoria. ‘Respond important thing you can do
his babbling, to support more of your body by telling him all about the is to keep talking to your
his learning.’ language. His babbling will object to help him learn. baby,’ adds Victoria, ‘and
He can see you from start to include more If you don’t respond, he’ll give him the best chance
across a room now and recognisable sounds and soon stop trying.’ of developing his own
will squeal and coo to get he’s aware of the power of language skills.’
your attention. Respond communication, being
to reward his efforts. more likely to cry if you
are nearby.
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Bump To Birth
Hello, new life
sounds in the environment, the throughout the night. Spend
Pregnancy has perhaps air she breathes, the food she quality time with your partner
before you get busy with your
eats, and the emotions she feels.
already started Hence, it is essential for a mum- baby. Enjoy some child-free sex
preparing you for to-be to relax. “Maternal stress and take pleasure in going on
an unfamiliar way and anxiety during pregnancy outings together. You’ll miss these
moments later.
have been associated with higher
of life ahead. Work, incidence of preterm birth, low
socialising and life is birth weight, miscarriage, and ANTENATAL CLASSES/YOGA
never going to be the slow mental development of the AND BREATHING EXERCISES:
baby,” warns Dr Coelho.
According to the American
same again. Here’s how College of Obstetricians and
you can prepare for DO YOUR FAVORITE THINGS: Gynecologists, regular exercise
your new life... During the nine long months helps a pregnant woman keep fit
you get before the baby comes
and helps her cope with labour.
in, enjoy doing your favourite Walking, swimming, cycling and
BY ARUNDHATI NATH things. “I had the most number aerobics are good options to try.
of holidays during my pregnancy Avoid heavy sports or stressful
as I knew that would be a difficult exercises which may cause injury
he day a woman proposition after baby arrived. So, or have a risk of falling. You
realises that she every other weekend, the husband can also join an antenatal class
has conceived, and I would take off. Towards the or learn garbhasana at a yoga
numerous thoughts third trimester, I made it a point centre. “Breathing exercises
Tpass through her. to meet different sets of friends like pranayama ensure a steady
She’s happy, excited, scared, for lunch or dinner. Once a week, intake of oxygen and prepare
anxious and overwhelmed all at I would ask my mum to make my the woman for the need to
once. As the initial months pass favourite dishes, and maintain uniform and rhythmic
by, mood swings, coupled with I would relish them. Another breathing during labour.
nausea caused by the pregnancy thing Focused and relaxed abdominal
hormones, can make her moody I enjoyed doing was flaunting my and low chest breathing skills
and exhausted. It is essential to bump with borrowed clothes and improve ventilation and enhance
prepare physically, emotionally, taking selfies,” chuckles Akshata relaxation during pregnancy,” Dr
financially and spiritually to Sheth, who is now mum to one Coelho explains.
welcome a new phase of your life. year old Pari.
WORK ON YOUR FINANCES:
RELAX AND DESTRESS: Dr Kiran SPEND TIME WITH YOUR With a new member being added
Coelho, renowned gynaecologist, PARTNER: After a baby is to the family, your monthly
Hinduja Healthcare Surgical, born, a mum’s sole focus is on budgets will go haywire. Babies
Khar feels that when a woman is her newborn. You’ll be sleep are expensive. There are so
pregnant, her baby is exposed to deprived and will smell of baby many things you’ll need to buy
everything she experiences—the powder while you change diapers and arrange for. Start saving so
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that you are prepared for the
mounting expenses
KEEP YOUR SANITY: During
pregnancy, people around
you tend to give you tons of
advice. It is essential to not
feel overwhelmed by this
unwarranted flow of tips, tricks
and suggestions. Learn about
birthing and parenthood, but do
not get tensed. Palak Shah, a new
mum, says, “There were people
all around me with their good
and bad experiences and stories.
I heard them all and took them
with a pinch of salt. I tried to gain
mental strength from meditation
and would practise it every day for
at least five minutes; it was a huge
stress buster.”
BE PREPARED PHYSICALLY AND
EMOTIONALLY: Dr Poornima
Ramakrishna, consultant
gynaecologist, Apollo Cradle,
Bengaluru, feels that getting
ready for pregnancy is very
important because vital cell
division takes from the point of
conception throughout the first
trimester. “Around the 10-week
mark, the growing foetus will be
making some critical changes
that play a miraculous role in the
long-term health and well-being
of the baby,” Dr Ramakrishna
says. A lot of these changes bring
with them emotional and physical
changes like mood swings, aches,
pains and of course, the piling
kilos. Know that all this is likely to
happen and is only temporary.
START A JOURNAL: If you haven’t
thought of this already, here is
the time to start your own book
about your motherhood. When
your baby grows up, you both can
go through it together, and laugh
some and cry some.
January 2020 | 65
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Tearing
you apart
9 out of 10
mothers suffer Vaginal tearing or bruising is common in normal deliveries.
tears during a Reshma O Pathare gives a low-down on why this happens,
vaginal birth and how can it be managed
normal delivery is the best gift A minor degree of cervical tears are incision on the perineum and the
that a mum can give her baby. invariable, and do not require any posterior vaginal wall during the
AExperts unilaterally believe in treatment; but, extensive tears—which second stage of delivery. It helps
the several advantages of a vaginal birth. occur in a mere 3 to 4 per cent of enlarge the vaginal opening for easy
However, despite all the benefits, it can women—do need medical attention. and safe delivery. It also minimises
be a physically painful and draining Perineal tears, ie, injuries to the region overstretching and injury to the
effort for the mum. Also, there is a big between the vagina and anus, are perineal muscles. Most episiotomies
chance of vaginal bruising. When a baby classified from first to fourth degree tears tend to heal in the first two weeks
is being delivered through the vagina based on their severity and involvement after the birth. Dr Kumta elucidates,
(which, albeit elastic, is also very tiny), of the perineal body—area between the “Episiotomies are of two types: median
it gets distended to at least 10 cm. The opening to vagina and back passage— and mediolateral. The median is made
anus and anal sphincter is also at full anal sphincter and rectum. The first- and directly towards the rectum. Inspite of
stretch. When the baby’s head crowns second-degree tears hurt only the tissues its advantages, like lesser blood loss,
spontaneously or during instrumental and outer muscles of the vagina and better healing, lesser post-operative
deliveries (especially if it’s the first baby) perineum. These heal through medicines discomfort and lower possibilities of
then, it is natural to get tears. However, and normal remedies. However, in a infections, it is less frequently used
not all tears are equally hurtful or tough few cases, third- and fourth-degree tears because it can tear completely to
to recover from. In fact, most tears can occur, wherein the muscles of the the rectum. Thus, the right or left
heal naturally, or with simple remedies. anus, rectum and bowel get hurt. These mediolateral episiotomies, which slant
Women are nervous about the amount are serious tears that require major away from the rectum,
of bleeding that follows these tears, but stitches and take a long time to heal. are preferred.”
even that is not a scary aspect. Vaginal They also lead to long-term problems
birthing is followed by secretion of for the woman. Though the perineum is Dr Manchanda adds to this:
lochia (much like blood during periods) stretchy, the baby may need more room “Episiotomies are, in fact, a better
for a few weeks. A simple sanitary pad during delivery. If the perineum stretches choice than letting the perineum tear
is used to contain this flow. However, so far that it tears, it may require stitches. raggedly. Ragged/uneven tears are
lochia is not a by-product of vaginal About nine out of 10 mothers tear to prone to infection and can take
tears. It is internal blood flow following some degree during vaginal birth, but a long time to heal. Such tears happen
the birth. most tears are minor.” when the woman is being delivered
by inexperienced midwives (daais) as
Dr Sonal Kumta, gynaecologist at Fortis TO HAVE OR NOT TO HAVE… is common in rural areas. A properly
hospital, Mulund, Mumbai, explains AN EPISIOTOMY ministered episiotomy can help reduce
more about vaginal bruises: “Vaginal This topic is a matter of constant the time of labour and heals fast as well
tears are usually seen following an debate amongst medical practitioners. with simple antibiotics.”
instrumental or manipulative delivery. Episiotomy is a surgically planned
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SOME POINTERS TO HEAL THE VAGINAL BRUISES
NATURALLY
● Change the sanitary pad at least once a day.
● Expose the region to fresh air for
a few minutes every day.
● Wash regularly with warm water and a mild soap.
● Wear loose-fitting salwars or trousers to prevent the area from
being rubbed.
● Wear cotton underwear till it heals.
● Change your sleeping position from time to time.
● Do not sit in one place for too long; keep moving.
● Wash the perineum from front to back to avoid infections.
● Eat fibre-rich foods to avoid constipation.
Instead, they advocate the use
THE EXTENT OF DAMAGE / DAMAGE of Kegel’s exercises, light
ASSESSMENT workout and localised
Some amount of bruising is bound massage prior to
to happen, whether there is a tear delivery as a safer
or cut. Bruises are more common way to strengthen
when forceps and ventouse (a suction the perineum.
device to assist in the birth) are used However, in case
to deliver the baby. That’s because of an episiotomy,
the external pressure of these tools women can resort
hurts the mother’s perineal region. In to healing
some extreme cases, prolonged labour, techniques such
previous tears and use of instruments as cooling gels
to deliver the baby can result in pads, anaesthetic
rectovaginal fistula. This condition gels or sprays,
results in breaking the passage between sitting on a rubber
the rectum and vagina, thus causing ring and washing with
immense pain, faeces passing through warm water. With the
the vagina and flatulent incontinence right treatment, most
that may continue for years post- problems that arise
delivery. A few women have long- from having stitches can be
term perineal pain or problems with helped or cured. However, it is
controlling their faeces. About 25 per best to ask your doctor to suggest
cent of women who have stitches after a cure depending on the status of
the birth may have bladder problems the tear.
or pain during intercourse. Sometimes, cause lesser blood loss, behold a lesser
faecal incontinence in old women is also All said and done, bruises are bound to risk of infection and allow a woman
linked to serious perineal tears during occur during vaginal delivery. Whether to resume intercourse after delivery
deliveries in their young age. the bruise happens naturally, or through faster. However, as has been discussed,
an episiotomy can be decided only episiotomies also have their advantages
THE DEBATE CONTINUES when the baby’s head is crowning. If the and are sometimes unavoidable in cases
Despite adovates for episiotomies, quite doctors feel that the perineal muscles where the baby is large or the woman has
a number of medical practitioners feel will remain unhurt, only then do they had the procedure in earlier births. To
that they do more harm than good, and forego the episiotomy. There are pros sum up, if done in the proper way and if
are, in fact, avoidable because they cause and cons to both. healed properly, these bruises will remain
long-term problems like more bleeding, only a distant memory once your bundle
infections and painful intercourse. Natural tears are said to heal faster, of joy comes along.
January 2020 | 67
motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
new
tips
for
new
mums
Pregnancy and birth aren’t what they used to be. We asked
Dr Meenakshi Ahuja, gynaecologist, Apollo Cradle, Bengaluru to
explain new and improved advice that you’ll benefit from
EXERCISE TO PREVENT DEPRESSION
Studies show that exercise during pregnancy as it releases endorphins. These are happy
may enhance the quality of life and well- hormones and generate a lot of positivity.
being, improve self-image and fitness, prevent The added energy, increased stamina and
excessive maternal weight gain, low back improved muscles gained from exercise also
pain, as well as decrease the risk of depression helps prepare your body for labour. It also
during pregnancy and postpartum. makes women more confident in dealing with
discomfort during pregnancy and labour,
“Hence, we urge would-be-mums to start thus countering depression,”
exercising in early pregnancy. Regular exercise Dr Ahuja explains.
in the form of antenatal classes, pregnancy
yoga, pilates are also encouraged. Earlier, “We also advise healthy weight gain during
would-be-mums were asked to rest as much as pregnancy and intake of proteins, fruits and
possible while now we advise you to exercise nuts,” she adds.
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motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
NATURAL BIRTHING IS
THE BEST
Mothers and doctors have warmed
up to natural births. “Because pain-
relieving drugs, including epidural
injections, carry serious medical risks
for you and the baby, and may leave
you unable to play a role in your own
care and that of your baby,” says Dr
Ahuja.
Natural birthing actually helps the
mum find her own ways of facilitating ➤➤
birth. The pain of the contractions
becomes a guide for the labouring
woman, encouraging the baby to settle
in and move down the birth canal.
When the pain is entirely removed
labour is likely to slow down and
become less efficient.
Dr Ahuja says that recovery is quicker
after natural child birth and also gives
a sense of achievement to a pregnant
woman. “With excellent monitoring CONFIDENCE IS THE KEY TO
facilities available, it is safe for doctors SAILING THROUGH YOUR
to encourage natural childbirth too. BIRTH
Pain prepares you for the demands of Feeling more in control, believing more
motherhood hence natural births are strongly in your capacity to cope and
encouraged now-a-days by more and understanding the childbirth techniques
more doctors.” helps to build your confidence.
Dr Ahuja says, “However one should
remember that confidence should be
built up with knowledge and wisdom
DON’T BE AFRAID TO about how to deal with pregnancy. Talking
SPEAK UP frankly with your doctor can put you at
Very often most women feel they have ease. Approaching labour with a positive
no say in the care that is being provided. attitude can help you feel less pain, avoid
But you can speak up! You have the right c-sections and feel satisfied with your
to ask questions, to get those questions experience. Antenatal checkups are a
answered, and you have the right to say confidence building exercise too as they
no. Don’t be afraid to be assertive while confirm baby’s health. These visits also
in the hospital. It’s easy to feel like you give you a chance to ask any questions and
have lost control, that things are being to talk about any issues that you are unsure
done to you, but you have the right to about. Hence confidence building is
be in control of your treatment. Also, mostly the responsibility of the obstetrician
be patient. Even with your husband, tell and complete antenatal programme to
him exactly what you need. He can’t read guide the expectant mum towards her
your mind, and he wants something to fitness, nutrition and well-being ensuring a
do to help. smooth birthing process.”
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DON’T GET INDUCED UNLESS YOU HAVE
A MEDICAL REASON
The primary reason for an induction should be a medical
one, such as gestational diabetes or high blood pressure in
the mother.
“I would never advise induction on a purely arbitrary or
mahurat basis. Not every induction ends with normal delivery
and there should always be a medical indication for deciding
that the baby is being delivered without a natural start to
labour. Interfering with a natural process always leads to
unnecessary interventions—including cesarean sections—
that substantially increase health and safety risks for mum
and baby,” she explains.
Inducing labour before 39 weeks can affect the development
process of the baby as research shows, in the last weeks of
pregnancy, every day counts for your baby’s development.
So you should understand the reason for your induction.
If your doctor says she wants to induce you, but you’re not
clear on the reason, speak up. If there is no clear medical
reason for your induction, you do have the right to refuse.
DON’T WORRY IF IT TAKES
A WHILE TO BOND
Don’t feel guilty if you aren’t bonding with your baby right
from the start. That’s totally okay. Parents think that they
should instantly feel overwhelmed with love with their
newborn and some people do feel that. But for others, these
feeling grow slowly over the time as they come to know and
care for their baby.
Like any other emotional relationship, developing a
connection with your child can take time. The biological
changes that you go through make bonding more likely, but it
can still take awhile for you to begin to feel close. If it doesn’t
happen in the first few weeks, be patient—it’s just part of the
process of becoming attached.
As you care for your new baby, you may find that your
attachment grows. This relationship will have it’s own rhythms
and pace of development. The timing will depend upon you
and your baby; your experience of childbirth and your life
circumstances have a lot to do with it as well. Remember that
you’re showing love to your baby even when you don’t feel
like it. When you care for your baby’s basics needs, that’s
showing love.
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motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
READY, ng onto his front, babies
grasping your finger to
ve in leaps and bounds
SET, GO!
NEW-
BORN FIRST REFLEXES
The most exciting change Your newborn enters the world with reflexes
in your baby’s early so he can survive outside your womb. “He
years is his physical can suck, swallow and root for food when
he’s hungry,” explains Rachel. He’ll grip your
development. “You’ll be finger and may also place his feet on a firm
amazed at the way he’ll surface if held upright. Finally, you may
progress physically notice your baby startling when shocked by
a loud noise. The Moro reflex causes him to
from a tiny newborn,” fling his arms or legs out and arch his back.
says UK childcare expert It’s his way of attempting to protect himself.
Rachel Waddilove. Here’s TRY THIS At this age, it’s important to just
make sure your baby is happy and settled –
what to expect... you can encourage his development later on.
4 – 6
1 – 3 MONTHS ON A ROLL
MONTHS HEADS UP
Between these ages, your baby may be
Your newborn’s head accounts for a quarter able to roll over from his back to his front
of his body length, so it’s no surprise he – so never leave him unattended on a high
finds it hard to control. “As his neck muscles surface. “Rolling often happens when your
strengthen, his head and trunk control will baby starts bending his knees and bringing
improve,” says consultant paediatrician Dr up his feet to play with them, then flips over
Martin Ward-Platt. It’s the foundation for all by accident,” says child physiotherapist Kate
motor development. His physical progress Drake. It’s a key stage in development as your
starts with head control, moves down to baby twists and turns, transferring weight
truncal, then lower limb. from one side of his body to the other.
TRY THIS Introduce five minutes of tummy TRY THIS During tummy time, shake a rattle
time every day from birth, lying him on his by his head so he’ll turn and roll. Consider
front on a soft mat. baby yoga, too. “The postures give him the
chance to stretch and twist, boosting limb
coordination,” says yoga teacher Avril Berry.
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6 – 9 2
MONTHS BOTTOMS DOWN YEARS RUN FOR IT
Your baby will learn to sit up as his neck and Around age two, after months of walking, your
trunk muscles strengthen. “When your baby toddler will probably break into a run. After his
wobbles, he’ll right himself without thinking,” second birthday, he’ll be upping the physical
says Martin. Sitting is also closely linked to ante, jumping and climbing on everything.
the ability to move and pass objects now your These kind of skills not only require balance
baby’s hands are free to explore. and coordination, they demonstrate your
TRY THIS Prop him up with pillows to limit baby’s body is properly aligned.
wobbles and put toys beside him to encourage TRY THIS Head to a soft play area where
him to turn. Check his position, too. “Your 8 – 12 your toddler can safely practise his running,
baby kneels with his bottom between his knees MONTHS CRUISE CONTROL climbing and jumping skills. He can explore
and his feet behind him, which makes a passive what his body’s capable of. It also helps him
W shape,” says Kate. Instead encourage your Keen for a better view of the world, you’ll understand the limits of his own strength and
baby to sit with his feet in front. probably find your baby hanging onto the to see what his body can do.
furniture as he pulls himself up to stand.
Strength in his upper and lower body is needed,
along with coordination – skills he’ll also use
for cruising, the side-stepping motion he makes
while holding onto the sofa for support, which
strengthens his leg muscles.
TRY THIS Line up a row of chairs against the
wall then place your baby at one end and his
favourite toy at the other, so he’s tempted to
cruise,” says Kate.
9 – 18
8 – 12 MONTHS STEPPING OUT
MONTHS ON ALL FOURS
Your baby’s first steps are the exciting climax to
Most babies crawl by this stage, although not all the skills he’s learnt up until now. While the
necessarily forwards. “Your baby’s first attempts average age for first steps is around 13 months, it
may be clumsy,” says Kate. usually happens between nine and 18 months.
If his arms are stronger than his legs,
he might commando crawl, moving TRY THIS Avoid shoes inside. “Being barefoot
along on his tummy, or shuffle on his makes it easier for him to grip the floor,” says
bottom. While some babies never Sally. Each milestone is important, so let him
crawl, it does aid development. “It go at his own pace.
coaches the opposite sides of the body
to work together, and trains hand-to- HOW OUR BABIES GOT MOVING
eye coordination, which is useful for
later on,” says child development Rania was so I need eyes in the back of
expert Sally Goddard Blythe. happy sitting my head with Aaryann.
TRYTHIS “To get him used to a and watching At six months, I showed
crawling posture, lie your that she wasn’t him how to tuck his knees
baby over a cushion, so
his knees and hands are bothered about moving under him and he took off
on the floor,” says Kate. at first, but now she runs commando crawling.
He might skip this stage, everywhere! NIDHI SAXENA, 26,
but if he isn’t mobile ANUSHKA GANDHI, 34, from Delhi, is mum
by 12 months, see your from Pune, is mum to to Aaryann,
paediatrician. Rania, 23 months 22 months
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motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
Stay cold-snap happy
Live smart and help boost your baby’s immunity with these nifty tricks
POP A SUPPLEMENT
It’s that time of year when bugs are flying around – the
cold weather lowers our resistance, plus we stay inside
more, so germs are exchanged much more easily.
“If you’re breastfeeding a baby under three months,
your main defence is to carry on,” says UK - based GP
Catti Moss. “Breastmilk contains all the nutrients and
immune-boosting goodness your baby needs. If your
baby is older than three months, you could give her
a daily multivitamin.”
Once your baby is weaned, you can boost her vitamins
through food. “Zinc is known to strengthen your
immune system, so it can resist infections like colds,”
says UK - based nutritionist Amanda Ursell. Find it in
red meat, oily fish and wholegrain cereals. “And studies
show that, while vitamin C won’t prevent a cold, it will
reduce its severity and length.” Fill up on berries, citrus
fruits, dark green vegetables and brightly coloured
peppers.
GET FRESH
It’s important your baby gets plenty of fresh air, even
when you don’t feel like going out. “Vitamin D is a
crucial bone-building, immune-boosting vitamin,
which comes mainly from exposure to the sun,” says
Amanda. “Even in winter, your child gets a little bit
of sun whenever they step outside in daylight —20
minutes is enough. Fresh air also clears out her lungs,
and going outside usually leads to some exercise, which
will boost everyone’s mood.” It also reduces your baby’s
exposure to other people’s bugs, so make your way to
your nearest park.
WRAP HER UP
Grandma obsessed with your baby being wrapped up
properly? She may just be right. Although experts are
split on this, there is research that suggests being
physically cold makes you more likely to catch a bug,
as it lowers your immunity. One study, by the Common
Cold Centre in Cardiff, found that volunteers who kept
their bare feet in icy water for 20 minutes were more
likely to develop a cold in the following week than
those who didn’t. “Being cold stresses a child’s immune
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Mother and Baby motherandbabyindia.com
system, making her more susceptible DON’T BE A SOAP DODGER to infection. If you haven’t done so
to illness,” says Angela Chalmers, UK - You’ve been at playgroup with your already, establish a bed and naptime
based pharmacist. “Layer her up with crawling baby and not only has she routine. A recent study at University
long-sleeved T-shirts, fleeces, hats and come back filthy, but she’s been College London found children who
scarves. It’s better to take off layers as mingling with the snottiest kids in town. had regular bedtimes slept more
needed, rather than putting her in one “Nothing reduces your baby’s odds of soundly. Fresh air also helps them
big coat that can cause her to overheat getting ill as much as hand washing, slumber – research at Liverpool John
when she runs around.” Take off soggy especially once she’s mobile and Moores University found that being
hats and socks as soon as possible, too— picking up more germs,” says Angela. outside in the late afternoon helped
they cause body temperature to drop Wash her hands after she’s been around babies and children rest better at night,
quickly. other children. “Hand gels are great if because it sets their circadian rhythm –
you’re out, but bear in mind, they don’t their internal body clock.
DRINK UP usually beat the norovirus, which causes
Staying hydrated is as important in winter vomiting. Good old-fashioned warm STICK TO A
as in summer. “Water helps our kidneys water with soap kills nearly all bugs, 10-MINUTE LIMIT
to flush out toxins, so it’s vital for fighting including this one,” says Catti. With Winter takes its toll on your baby’s skin.
illness,” says Amanda. In addition, when younger babies, wipe their hands after “Rain, wind and central heating can leave
your baby has a cold, her mucus will be you’ve changed them, and keep toys it dehydrated, dry and itchy, especially
drier and thicker. Drinking plenty of water clean. Until your tot is mobile, she’s as a child’s skin is more sensitive,” says
will help to flush it, along with any other more likely to catch germs from shared UK - based dermatologist Dr Nick Lowe.
infections, from the body. Breastmilk toys than from physical contact with “Baths also strip skin away natural oils so
contains water, so give your baby as much other children. keep water warm, not hot, she further
as she wants to keep her hydrated. “If your adds. Keep your baby in there for 10
toddler is poorly and drinking less than RESET HER BODY CLOCK minutes or less to avoid drying her skin.
usual, water down her favourite juice as an As well as making children cranky, Afterwards if you want, you can apply a
incentive to drink,” says Catti. lack of sleep leaves them more prone gentle moisturising cream.
FILL UP ON THE GOOD STUFF
TOUGHEN UP YOUR TOT’S IMMUNE SYSTEM WITH THESE BABY SUPERFOODS, SAYS NUTRITIONIST AMANDA URSELL
BREASTMILK In addition to containing FROZEN PEAS The freezing process
all the vitamins and nutrients your baby ensures peas retain lots of their
needs for the first six months, it’s packed power-packed vitamin C. They’re
with antibodies that protect against easy to add to soups and pies, and you
illness. Formula milk is boosted with can even throw some in a pan of
nutrients, such as vitamin D and iron. boiling pasta for the last few minutes.
SWEET POTATO This great winter SALMON This contains vitamin D,
comfort food is packed with cold- which supports a healthy immune
fighting vitamin C. Babies can have system. Most children don’t get
it puréed, and older children will enjoy enough vitamin D in winter, so serve
it baked and filled with toppings, like salmon once a week.
houmous or baked beans.
GARLIC Its antibacterial properties can
MINCE RED MEAT is a good help reduce the length of colds and
source of iron and zinc, which will ease chesty conditions. Crush
help strengthen your child’s and add it to dishes like soups,
immune system. stews and pasta sauces—most
tots won’t even notice it.
January 2020 | 75
motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
The Firsts ofBreastfeeding
natural, undisturbed way and maximise or other food, except remedies
the opportunity for the baby to prime and medications when required. It
the milk receptors to stimulate and also supports optimal gut flora and
Meet the increase milk production for the mum, microbiome, that behaves as the shield
of immunity for the baby, from risk of
for the natural term breastfeeding.
EXPERT During the Breast Crawl, babies use all gastrointestinal infection, diarrhea,
pneumonia, otitis media and urinary
Effath Yasmin is India’s leading International senses to explore that world of bonding. tract infection, among other risks. For
Board Certified lactation Consultant (IBCLC), The smell of the dark potion of the the mum, breastfeeding exclusively
Biodynamic CranioSacral Therapist, internationally breasts is similar to the amniotic fluid, reduces the risk for developing
certified lactation educator and the founder director which guides in the movement along postpartum depression, type 2 diabetes,
of Nourish & Nurture Lactation Care & Parenting
with eyes to look at the mums’ face. The and cancer. Exclusive breastfeeding is
Education, an outreach clinic for mothers and families
first golden hour breastfeeding is also also a method of birth control called
seeking professional clinical lactation management
a boost to the mum’s ability to improve Lactational Amenorrhea Method of
and parenting counselling. Yasmin sits on the board of
breast milk production, and facilitate in birth control, or LAM. This method has
directors and National Advisory Board of Birth India, an
loss of blood. been reported to be 98-99.5% effective
NGO striving for safe and supported birth in India and
an active governing council member of the International in preventing pregnancy as long as
Association of Tongue-Tie professionals (IATP). FIRST SIX MONTHS exclusivity is maintained, with no mixed
Breastfeeding is a normal, natural way feeding methods.
to provide growth and development,
both nutritionally and physically to FIRST TOOTH
FIRST GOLDEN HOUR babies. Multiple breastfeeding advocacy It’s that time that many mums dread
A newborn has an innate ability organisations in the world recommend and decide to stop breastfeeding when
to survive and thrive if we allow exclusively breastfeeding for the first they first notice a tooth erupting in
the primal reflexes to kick-in, as six months of life, to support optimal their baby’s mouth. Usually, this is
a sequence during the birth of the growth, development and health. because they might fear that baby
baby. During a safe and supported Complementary food is recommended will nip the breast during a feeding
birth within an empowering birth to be introduced, mostly around the session, or because the mum fears she
environment, the newborn often middle of the first year to support will be bitten. It’s also the time when
undergoes a quiet, alert phase, which optimal development. many mums experience frequent night
has been referred to as the first phase, waking and frequent feeding for baby.
or simply the Breast Crawl. During the early breastfeeding months, Infact, this might be the case of fussy
it is important to remember to nurse nursing behaviour due to experience of
When the newborn is placed skin to the baby before offering solids, because discomfort in the gums. The only way
skin on the mum’s chest, shortly after mother’s milk continues to have far baby can find comfort, sometimes, can
birth, the baby is able to move closer more calories and nutrition than solid be suckling at the mum’s breast. During
to the breasts and attach, to initiate foods. The first six months of weaning, these intermittent phases which run
suckling. Studies show us that baby’s during the first year of the baby, is into second year baby’s behaviour at the
alertness gradually decreased within to explore taste, texture and color of breast can also resemble staying longer
150 minutes after birth, when baby the solid food variety. This is building at the breast or even pulling off and
usually becomes more drowsy and a relationship with food safely and crying and wanting to go back to the
sleepy. This confirms the importance of enjoyably. breast again.
first golden hour being critical to allow
integration of many sensory, motor and Exclusive breastfeeding for the first This can be extremely overwhelming
neuro-endocrine inputs to facilitate a six months will mean only breast milk for the mum, and frustrating for the
‘Breast Crawl’ soon after birth. This without mixing it with water, no other baby. To help this, teething homeopathic
helps mum and baby deeply bond in a solid or liquids, herbal preparations pills have been known to be very
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Mother and Baby motherandbabyindia.com
useful. Also, baby can be given a
cold washcloth to chew on before
feeds, to help with gum discomfort.
Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy
can be extremely helpful as well to
help restore comfort and regulation
for both, the mum and baby.
FIRST WEANING
Weaning from the breast is usually
a slow and gradual process, starting
during the time of complementary
food introduced, yet weaning is an
interactive process between the
mum and her baby. It might help
to know baby can be completely be
trusted to wean himself as his need
for security and comfort slowly gets
fulfilled over the toddler years, and is
not a habit that needs to be broken.
This is a milestone reached at their
own internal pace, like walking,
talking and other milestones.
La Leche League, an international
organisation that supports
breastfeeding mothers all across
the world, recommends gentle
weaning methods rather than
methods that might harm the trust
in the relationship that has been
built with nurturing at the breasts.
Need for sucking is real for babies,
which is separate from sucking for
nutrition. Sometimes weaning too
fast might hamper the milk supply
for the mums or might result in
babies resorting to thumb sucking,
sucking on fingers, hair, blankets
and pacifiers.
Norma Jane Bumgarner in her book
Mothering your Nursing Toddler
says, “A baby is learning to trust
and depend on other human beings,
especially his mother and to suppose
that nutrition is primary significance
and that attachment is secondary
will be a mistake.” Therefore, helping
baby to drop her first feed naturally
will be a gradual weaning process,
as needs are being met.
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motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
The First Time...
You leave your baby with a baby-sitter
ou may be looking forward to catching up
with your friends without having to change
a nappy or sing Twinkle, Twinkle, but you’ll
probably find you’re on edge the first time
Y you leave your little one with a babysitter.
“It’s natural to feel nervous about leaving your baby,”
says UK-based psychologist Cynthia McVey, as she’s the
most precious thing in your life. A recent survey found
that 50 per cent of mums feel guilty about leaving their
baby with someone else and 30 per cent are unable to
relax. So it’s a good job we’ve got all the tips you need
to have a stress-free few hours away from your precious
little baby!
CREATE A TRUSTED TEAM
The key to feeling relaxed while you’re out without
your baby is to leave her with people you trust.
“Whether that’s your mum, sister or a friend, the most
important thing is that you know you’ll feel happy and
secure when your baby is with them,” says Cynthia.
Invite your babysitter round to help you with the
bedtime routine before your first evening out. This lets
your baby get used to being put to bed by someone
else, and means your babysitter knows the routine.
BUILD IT UP SLOWLY
If you know you’re going to be away for a whole night
without your baby, book in a few afternoons or
evenings before this to prepare you both for the
separation. “This can start with a 10-minute trip to the
shops while a friend watches her,” says Cynthia. “Then
gradually increase the amount of time away until
you’re ready for a whole evening,” she continues.
Staying a call away to your baby for those first few
times will also mean that you can get home easily if
you need to.
RECOGNISE THE BENEFITS
Having an evening away from your baby is good for you
and for her. “For mums, it’s the perfect opportunity to
enjoy some ‘me time’ and remind yourself that you’re
not just somebody’s mum,” says Cynthia. Your baby will
benefit from it because spending time with other
adults will make her more independent. The key is to
not leave it too late. By six months, your baby may be
going through a clingy stage as she becomes more
aware of when you’re not near her.
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Baby & Toddler
Hi there, broccoli!
Do you find it difficult to introduce new foods to your kiddo? M&B comes to the rescue
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Mother and Baby motherandbabyindia.com
or the majority of very gradually. “Mix the new food eating right while trying to make
us, the very thought into a food that the child already your kid eat right. Make a meal a
of food is equally likes. For example, this might daily family ritual where all family
appealing and mean blending a new food and members eat the right foods Neha
Fappetizing. Our stirring a pea-sized amount into a Chopra, film maker at Out of
festivals, celebrations or parties are whole cup of a sauce. Eventually, Focus Pictures and mum to two
incomplete without scrumptious you will be adding a large amount and a half years old Noor started
food and drink. We celebrate every of the new food and no longer following the Baby-Led Weaning
happy piece of news with sweets blending it, then finally giving the technique. BLW is a great way of
and our guests are always fed well. food whole and unmixed,” she introducing solid foods that allow
says. A toddler will start eating new babies to feed themselves—there’s
Though we adults like to try foods this way because he can’t tell no force feeding and no purées.
new foods and enjoy them at that the food is new to him. The baby sits with the family at
our convenience, most toddlers mealtimes feeding herself first
grow to have an aversion to new ASK HIM TO SELECT: The next with her fingers and later with
foods. Deborah Colson, MSc time you’re going shopping for cutlery. “This method helped
DipION Nutritional Therapist, veggies at the supermarket, ask me to introduce many tastes,
Thinking Nutrition and author your tot to select which fruit or textures, colors and smells to
of Optimum Nutrition For Your vegetable he would like to buy. my baby. It might seem messy to
Child explains, “Babies grow Introduce your child to new foods begin with but the joy of seeing
neophobic as they grow more at the supermarket and take her your child developing a sense of
mobile into toddlers; it is a built- opinion on which one to select. independence and developing
in self-protection mechanism to The child is more likely to eat their hand-eye coordination and
stop them from trying to eat new a vegetable he has selected on chewing skills is very fulfilling,”
foods, unsupervised, which might his own. You could also involve Neha says.
be poisonous.” As parents, we him in the serving process like in
need to keep this in mind while decorating the fruit salad with a HIDDEN NUTRITION: Amitabh
introducing new foods to our little cream or cherries. Pandit explains that hidden
tiny tots. nutrition means adding some
FUN FOOD: You must have nutritious fruits or veggies to their
START SMALL: Deborah feels that observed that products aimed favourite foods. You can make the
the best approach to get a toddler at children are attractively gravy of matar paneer with lauki and
to like a new food is to introduce it packaged. The colour and look tomato, add carrots and radish
of these packaged foods make to her favourite aaloo paratha or
them appealing to kids. “As a chop small bits of fruits with the
mum you need to make the cornflakes. This won’t make the
new food colourful, attractive, child fussy and he will easily relish
tasty and fragrant to entice the eating a new food.
senses,” says Amitabh Pandit,
leading nutritionist and author BE PATIENT: “Getting kids to eat
of Superfoods: Make your Child a the right foods requires a lot of
Genius. You can add cut veggies in persistence,” Amitabh says. A child
attractive shapes; add would need time to form a habit.
a little cheese, vanilla essence, Counselling also helps him change
cherries or spices like cardamom his eating habits. If a child wants to
and cinnamon to make a new be good at sports, he should be told
food appealing. that he must drink milk for strong
bones even if he dislikes it. You’ll
MEALS ARE FAMILY TIME: You be surprised to see how children
cannot expect a child to eat respond to such explanations
carrots if he hears his mum say, “I especially when they want to
hate carrots!” Make sure you’re achieve a particular goal.
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motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
Milking it!
It is important for new the benefits of cow’s or buffalo milk milk today and is sourced from cows
mums to understand what for human consumption, claiming it to of Western origin such as Holstein and
milk to give your baby, be difficult for the stomach to properly Jersey (due to their large yield). Most milk
once she crosses the one digest, leading to milk allergies. available in the market today is A1 milk.
year milestone Earlier, cow and buffalo’s milk were a A2 milk, on the other hand, is obtained
staple in an Indian household. Today, the from cows of Indian origin—Gir, Sahiwal
variety of options and sub-types available etc. A1 milk contains the protein
in the market are vast, and may even be component casein, and when this casein
confusing for a new mother. Milk today is broken down by the body, it leads to
even encompasses rice milk, soy milk, the release of Histidine, which creates
almond milk, coconut milk, cashew Histamine, causing allergic reactions. It
milk—the options are endless. Mothers also leads to the release of a component
who are vegan by choice might consider of morphine called beta-caso-morphine
feeding their baby plant-based milks over (which is a habit-forming drug that has
the typical cow or buffalo’s milk. effects on the central nervous system)
very biological being,
that produces milk for its ANIMAL V/S PLANT BASED MILK WATCH OUT FOR THOSE SNIFFLES
offspring, is hardwired to Despite the common notion that everyday Kids who drink A1 milk have a higher
create the perfect formula milk consumption is crucial for a child’s incidence of developing skin allergy
E that will help build the development, this is not so. Throughout (allergic dermatitis), runny nose (allergic
foundation for the child’s long term health her development, a child requires rhinitis), asthma and allergic cough,
and provide for its immediate needs. nutrients sourced from a variety of food lactose intolerance, constipation, poorer
At birth, a child is at her most tender groups, out of which milk is one option. immunity, obesity and diabetes.
and delicate stage, and requires a food A mum should also continue to
source that is specially made for her, breastfeed beyond the age of one. Until On the other hand, the presence of
until her digestive system develops and a baby is a year old, she must be fed protein component—Proline in A2 milk
strengthens enough to move onto more only breastmilk. Once a baby crosses releases energy upon breakdown in
complex food sources, after six months one year, her body is able to break down the body and is greatly beneficial to the
of age. Breastfeeding is without doubt the more complex substances. At this age, a child. Indian-cow, buffalo, goat, sheep,
best source of nutrition for a newborn and mum can introduce more and more semi camel’s milk is the better and healthier
builds the start of a healthy mother-child solid and soft foods, along with animal option to be given to a child as all these
relationship. or plant milk into their diet. An adequate animals give A2 milk. Keep a close watch
amount of fats, vitamins and minerals is for symptoms of an allergic reaction—
Once the baby crosses the one year mark, important at this age. rashes, a stuffy nose, indigestion and
she is ready to explore the wonders of stomach pain, swelling—these could all
food groups beyond that of mother’s milk. Nutritionally, animal milk is higher in indicate lactose intolerance or a milk
It is at this age that the mum considers fat, calcium and protein than plant milk, allergy. Also note that the benefits of milk
introducing alternative milk—commonly which would help build the foundation of can also be given to your child in the form
cow’s or buffalo’s milk to sustain the your baby’s skeleto-muscular system. of dairy products such as cheese, paneer,
child’s nutrition needs before expanding Animal milk is broadly divided into buttermilk, yoghurt, butter etc.
further into other food groups. However, two types, A1 and A2 milk. A1 milk
recent research has raised doubts on has become the most commonly used It is also good to consult with a local
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nutritionist for their advice as the
composition of the milk available in your
region may differ. Your doctor will be
able to guide you if skimmed, low-fat or
toned milk would be a better option for
your baby. Conversely, plant-based milks
are good but may not have the required
nutrition content that your baby requires,
and most plant-based milks will have to
be fortified with calcium and vitamins to
provide for your baby’s needs. Plant milks
are also low in fat, except coconut milk,
which has good amount of monolauric
acid. Plant milks are typically artificially
sweetened, which is bad for your baby.
Unsweetened and fortified plant milk may
be beneficial for those babies who are
allergic to animal milk.
MILK IS AN OPTION, NOT
A NECESSITY
Quite often, mums are used to regularly
feeding their children breast milk and
may find it hard to break off from this
habit when their baby begins to grow
older. Particularly in the Indian culture,
mums have always been encouraged
to give their children a tall glass of
milk every day. However, it must be
understood that the value of any milk
(which is not breastmilk) in a child’s diet
must be evaluated in the larger context
of the child’s overall diet and nutritional
needs. It may be difficult for a child to
accept complex adult type of food later
in life if the child is got used to drinking
excess of milk.
Animal sourced milk contains nutrients
in the percentage that is necessary for
the baby, but even then by itself it cannot
replace the benefits of breastmilk. If
a mum wishes to give her baby either
animal or plant sourced milk, it is
important that she remain aware of the
composition of the milk, and use it as a
part of the expanded diet of the baby.
By no means should a mum completely
depend on regularly feeding her child
any one particular type of milk, because
no naturally sourced milks apart from
January 2020 | 83
motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
Meet
Meet
your new
your new
aeroplane
aeroplane
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Mother and Baby motherandbabyindia.com
Introducing a new toys to your child?
Arundhati Nath tells you how to do it right
o you remember introduced by the level of skill and voice gives utmost pleasure
the first time you value; once you notice a child to your child. She advises to
took your baby to begins something new, follow follow with toys that squish, rattle,
a toy store? She with a toy to enhance that skill,” squeak and promote sensory
Dmust have looked she says. stimulation. After three months,
around in excitement and told start with soft stuffed animal toys
you that she wants most of what’s PLAY TIME: Anamika Pandey, or balls, rattles, small push and
on display. Possibly, you would mum to two little girls, Aditri pull toys, large blocks, safe bath
have had a tough time convincing and Mishika, introduces new toys and small hardbound baby
her to pick one. toys during play time by playing books. Avoid toys with sharp
with them. You can hold out edges, batteries, magnets, loose
Apart from the fun and play, a soft toy of a tiger or dog by parts, balloons and marbles.
toys play an important role in telling them,” Look! This is your
introducing children to a variety new tiger or dog!” This will not 1-2 year olds
of colours, textures, shapes and only interest him in the toy but Your child is a toddler now. He
sounds. “Toys play a crucial role will also make him remember loves being mobile. Some good
in children’s life because they the names and learn. bets for toys would be simple
improve their senses of hearing, puzzles, picture books, pop up
sight, touch and concentration,” TREASURE HUNT: Deepika toys and books, musical toys,
says Annapurna Manelli, Zabee, mum to two year old large non toxic crayons, CDs to
Hyderabad based mum to an Armaan, says, “I love to introduce listen to nursery rhymes, dolls and
eight month old. a new toy to my kid by surprising dress up accessories, kitchen sets,
him while playing a fun game like wooden toys or puzzles, small ride
Toys foster a kid’s imagination treasure hunt. He loves exploring on toys and sorting and nesting
and creativity while helping them and taking turns while playing.” toys. Ensure that the toys are well
interact and play with a friend. This could be an innovative way to made, big in size, without small
Eileen Kennedy-Moore, professor introduce toys. parts or sharp edges and are
for The Great Courses audio/ light weight and non toxic. Avoid
video series, Raising Emotionally AGE APPROPRIATE toys painted with lead or which
and Socially Healthy Kids says, TOYS contain harmful chemicals like
“Kids make friends by doing fun Marianne feels that toys should be cadmium or arsenic.
things together. Toys can be a age-appropriate mainly because
vehicle for them to do that.” of safety reasons. “No child 4-5 years olds
learns the same as another but Your kid is a preschooler now
advancing toys not matched to a and making him play with toys
HOW TO INTRODUCE child’s developmental ability can that solve problems would make
NEW TOYS lead to frustration and unsafe it fun. Get him basic board
ONE AT A TIME: Marianne play experiences,” she says. We games, paints and papers for
Szymanski, founder and have prepared an age-appropriate drawing, advanced picture books,
president of Toy Tips, Inc. guide to toys for your child here. basic musical instruments, basic
and co-author of Toy Tips: A crafts with glue, round edged
Parent’s Essential Guide to Smart 0-1 year olds scissors and paper folding,
Toy Choices advises parents to “Mom, dad, siblings and modeling clay, cars and train sets,
introduce one toy at a time. caregivers are the best play etc. Avoid electrical or battery
“The best thing about the early things for the first few months,” operated toys or let the child
years is that all the toys you Marianne says. The interaction play with these only under adult
have received as gifts should be and bonding with you, your touch supervision.
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Tots Gone wild
Tots Gone wild
If you’re struggling to tame
your unruly toddler, it
might be time to relax the
rules and try ‘unschooling’:
the new parenting trend
helping kids learn about life
ince he’s turned two and a half, my son
William has gone from being an angelic
child whose temperament matches his
looks—all smiles and big blue eyes—to a
S monster. It’s scary. He’s become a scowling
little thing, covered in blackmail-begotten chocolate
while clutching random items stolen from my handbag.
I love my son, but he rules our (toy-strewn) home like
a mini emperor, yelling for biscuits and turning into a
immovable plank when it’s time for bed. The other day,
when I was trying to clean his teeth, William looked
up and said glumly, ‘Please shut up, darling.’ I was
clearly annoying him as much as he was annoying me.
Something needed to change. But I can’t be the only
mother struggling to enforce rules and often tempted
to give up completely. Can I?
TIME TO CHILL
When I confided in a fellow MOT (mum of a toddler)—
my friend Francis, from Los Angeles, who’s mum
to Ethan, four—she told me about unschooling, the
latest parenting trend to hit Stateside. With links to
attachment parenting, in which you let your baby lead
your routine, this approach promises peace and mutual
respect—two things missing from my relationship with
William. The main principle is allowing your toddler
to show you how he wants to learn and grow. Instead
of obsessing about parent-led ideas, such as table
manners and playing with toys you think are beneficial,
it’s about indulging your toddler in his passions and
intervening as little as possible in his relationships with
other children. So, if he’s obsessed with fire engines,
go with that and visit a station together. And let him
dress in his fireman pyjamas (yep, day and night).
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So far, so normal—you’re probably Katherine. ‘Rather than dictating, offer and crunch them up with the potato
doing some of this already. But you also him choices. For instance, “Do you masher.’) But, while I did get frustrated
let him set his own boundaries. Say want to wear your wellies today or your at the loss of control, the house was
he doesn’t want to go to bed at 7pm trainers?” You may even have a little calmer because, in theory, he wasn’t
because he’s engrossed in a game or discussion about what you are going doing anything wrong, so I found myself
his favourite cartoon, you consider these to be doing and which shoes might be more accepting of his toddler-typical
things educational tools and allow him to best for the activity. If he chooses to go irrational nature. Before long, though,
continue until he’s happy to stop. Part of with the ones you feel are less suitable, I began to feel that I was being taken
a backlash against the superstrict Tiger just live with it, then use it as a learning advantage of, as William chose not to
Mum style—which sees parents putting opportunity later.’ eat any vegetables—ever. I also sensed I
value on high standards—unschooling wasn’t doing him any favours.
allies itself more with the latest wave When it comes to TV, the choice might
of anti-parenting books, such as Jill be between another Chuggington or When he didn’t want to share his toys
Smokler’s Motherhood Comes Naturally an extra story at bedtime. ‘Your child in the park and it would have been
(And Other Vicious Lies) (£9, Gallery gets a certain amount of control and un-unschooly of me to intervene, I
Books). These suggest we stop trying to experiences the consequences of his just thought what a terrible husband
follow every piece of advice and do what choices,’ says Katherine. ‘This will help he’d make one day if I allowed this to
works for us, making family life easier. his understanding of cause and effect, continue. I also noticed this parenting
and he’ll learn to modify his behaviour.’ style was encouraging me to be lazy. For
Giving your toddler more freedom than Could this be the key to a naturally well- a week, William wanted to watch Jake
you might normally will certainly nurture behaved toddler? ‘I think it would work And The Neverland Pirates on repeat.
his curiosity and creativity, says family with a child who has a certain amount of The new rules meant he could sit—
therapist Katherine Lloyd. ‘By letting self-discipline already,’ says unbathed, munching on dry cereal—for
him play hide and seek in the park, even my friend Elizabeth, 32, from London. four hours straight. I could work, trawl
though you’d rather rush back home She had previously taken the idea and the internet and drink coffee… But I felt
for lunch, you’re giving him a chance introduced it to her son Rafferty, two. too guilty to enjoy it.
to develop his interests. You’re also ‘Raffy would just roll in mud all day if I
showing that you’re acknowledging and let him. I don’t think there would ever Taking my cynicism a step further,
responding to them.’ come a point where he said, “Mummy, psychologist Brian Beckham believes
enough puddles today, I want to learn unschooling could be detrimental in the
The key is to stop seeing your role as one Spanish.” I reverted back to being to a long run. ‘Children crave some structure
of parental controller and more one of bossy-boots mum after a month.’ and boundaries—they need something
provider, according to father-of six Leo or someone to rebel against,’ he says.
Babauta, the American author of best- PUTTING IT TO THE TEST ‘It’s the parents’ job to temper freedom
selling self-help book The Power Of Less. Nevertheless, inspired by the theory, with common sense, so their child grows
He points out that giving your toddler I decided to try unschooling for into a well-adjusted adult who can
more independence teaches him to set myself. After all, accepting William’s respect authority.’
his own limits. ‘Unschooling is basically interests could be liberating for me and
just exploring, playing and doing whatever empowering for him. I would let him After a month, I reclaimed the remote
you normally do without relying on the choose his games and activities, plus control and reinstated the 7pm bedtime.
artificial learning environment we call the what parts of his meals he ate, when he His freedom was exhausting us more
classroom,’ he says. ‘It prepares children went to bed and how long his screen time than his rebellion. But I didn’t reject
for the future—for being an entrepreneur would be. the theory entirely, I just picked my
or being autonomous.’ favourite parts. I liked the idea of getting
Yes, I felt more relaxed as I stopped into William’s passing obsessions,
TEACH HIM TO MAKE DECISIONS trying to run William’s life on my as well as encouraging him to take
Sounds great, but learning how to schedule. However, in practical terms, more responsibility for his decisions.
parent in a new, more democratic way it meant agreeing to spend an hour Ultimately, though, I don’t want to be the
takes a certain amount of skill and admiring diggers on a building site one playground mum with the spoilt child
restraint. ‘The aim should be to provide day, and clearing up more mess than allowed to misbehave in the name of
a safe space for your children to push usual the next (‘Yes, darling, let’s pour self-expression. And, one day, William’s
limits and develop their passions,’ says the pasta shells into a big saucepan wife will thank me for it!
January 2020 | 87
motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
Move
it
Shifting into a new house is
always a tough job. The stress
is multiplied several times
over if you have a toddler at
hand. M&B promises to make
it easier...
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new house brings with
it new dreams and
aspirations for the family
moving in. However, if
Ayou are a mum, you may
find the whole process emotionally
and physically draining. Since packing,
moving and unpacking could be tiring
and stressful, having a baby to care for is
one more thing to worry about. Here’s
our handy guide to make your
moving easier:
TAKE PRECAUTIONS: Packing and
unpacking means loads of mess in the
Indian context. Neha Chopra, a new
mum has recently moved to a new house
in Mumbai. She feels that exposure
to dust can mean allergic reactions
triggered by dust for you and your
toddler—sneezing, coughs and cold,
red eyes and irritability. “Keep relevant
medicines handy and try boosting your time to time. Shifting is tiring and you USE YOUR CREATIVITY: After the
and child’s immunity through Vitamin will need time to settle down. So, it is packers have emptied the boxes in
C-rich foods and fruits. Make sure you best to plan out meals beforehand. your new home, don’t be in a rush to
and your husband take turns taking dispose them off. You can use them
children out to play in open areas Treat him to a new toy: In order to to make box forts with your toddler
so that they can breathe in fresh air, keep your little one occupied, you can during tea breaks. “The cardboard
instead of sitting cooped in front of consider buying him a new toy or board boxes can keep your child busy for
screens,” says Neha. game. This might take his mind off the hours, while you get the much-needed
shifting process, and help him play on time to unpack and settle in, just
ENLIST HELP: “If you have a baby or his own when you’re busy with make sure the scissors and cutters are
toddler moving in with you, make the unpacking. out of limits! Cardboard play gives
sure you enlist help,” says Nanditha your toddler sensorial and free play
Sandeep, who has recently shifted KEEP HIM INVOLVED: Although a child experience, they can also be up-cycled
homes with her toddler Sana. Ask a cannot help much with packing and to make a doll house, play station or
family member or get outside help if unpacking, he can be involved in these anything that tickles your creativity,”
necessary to look after the child while processes. Talk to your child about Neha says.
you supervise the shifting. Of course, the new house and how you plan to
we can not emphaise enough that you decorate it and his new room. Keep him CELEBRATE: When you’ve finally
must ensure that the help you hire/ assured that you’ll not leave behind any reached the new home, take out a few
enlist should be trustworthy. Always—at of her favourite toys or clothes. minutes to celebrate with your toddler.
all times—have someone watch over Take her to every room, introduce her
the child and nanny. It is easy to be PACK HIS ROOM LAST: It is preferable to the new place and have her favourite
distracted while there’s so much going to pack the child’s room last so that snack to commemorate the shifting.
on, and this may endanger your child’s there is least disruption in his play and
safety. sleep routines. Ask your packers and EXPLORE: After you have unpacked,
movers to unload the carton with the familiarise kiddo with the surroundings
STOCK UP ON FOOD: Children are kid’s things first at the new house for of the new house. This will help him
better off when they stick to their the same reason. He will immediately adjust quickly. Look for the nearest
routine. It’s wise to pack enough food feel comfortable and things would be playground or children’s park and take
and water for him, and offer it from familiar to him this way. him there as early as possible.
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LOOK WHO’S
TALKING communication skills
From gurgles to first
words, here’s how
to boost your baby’s
1 – 3
MONTHS COOING NOISES
At this age you’ll notice that your baby becomes more
vocal, as the screams and gurgles give way to a bird-
like ‘coo’ sound. “This is a key milestone in speech
development,” says Libby. It’s a sign that the muscles
of his tongue and mouth are getting stronger and he’s
beginning to understand the link between making sounds
and getting a reaction from you.
TRY THIS Mirror his sounds. “Babies love to listen to
your voice, so talk, sing and coo back to him, making eye
contact,” says Libby. Your child is never too young to
make conversation. When your baby lets out a coo, repeat
it back to him and he’ll do the same.
4 – 7
MONTHS BABBLING SOUNDS
Those first attempts at sounds are your baby’s way of
learning how to form words. Around this stage, your
baby’s vocal cords will be more developed and he’ll start
to experiment with different words and sounds. This
babbling will start with repetition of simple vowels and
consonants (for example, “ba ba ba”), but will gradually
incorporate more complicated sounds until it begins to
sound more like the language he hears you using.
TRY THIS Narrate his world. “This is a time when your
baby loves exploring the sounds he can make,” explains
Libby. Talk away to him about what you’re doing and point
out familiar objects. Your baby will understand words long
before he can say them, so the more you talk about the
world around him, the greater his vocabulary will be. If he
has a pacifier, reduce its use so he can talk freely.
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7 SIGNS AND WHAT CRIES REALLY MEAN
MONTHS+
SYMBOLS 1� – 2 TALKING IN
YEARS
Using baby sign language to communicate has SENTENCES
become all the rage internationally in the last By 18 months he may have a vocabulary of
10 years. But while going to signing classes is a around 50 words and could even start putting
great way to meet other mums, does it improve them together. The sentences will be
your baby’s speech? “Research suggests it simple and the words may be in the wrong order.
improves your baby’s understanding of language But this is the first step to becoming more fluent.
by providing a visual layer,” says Libby. The key So he might say, ‘Me want juice’ or ‘no like nani’.
is to use it alongside spoken language. If you
accompany signs with words then it’s a great way TRY THIS Give lots of praise and rewards. “If he
to encourage interaction. says, ‘Go park’ for example, show him you’ve
understood by saying, ‘You want to go to the
TRY THIS Create your own sign language. park?’ then reward him by carrying out his
“Watch closely and you may find your child uses wish,” says Lauren. Once he sees you respond
his hands to gesture for things,” says Libby. Mirror to his words there will be an incentive for him
these gestures and, focusing on just a couple, to say more. Children develop language at very
such as mimicking a drink of milk, repeat and see different rates, so if your child isn’t saying much
if he starts to copy. by 18 months, don’t worry. If he isn’t putting
simple sentences together by age two or showing
1 – 1� understanding, it’s important to speak to your
YEARS SAYING WORDS paediatrician to check his hearing, among other
things.
From around 12 months your child will use simple
words such as ‘cup’ and ‘hot’. “From this point
you’ll see a huge development,” says Libby.
He’ll understand much more than he can say,
for example identifying people, body parts and
objects, and will also start pointing out familiar
things and trying to say their names.
TRY THIS “Rather than getting your child to
parrot you, which he may find hard, prompt
him to say the word instead,” suggests Lauren
Woodcock, a speech and language therapist.
Instead of saying, “Say ball, say ball” point to his
ball and say, “This is a...” and pause. He’ll delight
in telling you the answer. Don’t pressurise him
or worry if he isn’t word perfect. “There’ll be
mispronunciations,” says Lauren, “But he needs
encouragement, so if he points to a cat and
says, ‘tat’, praise him by saying, ‘That’s right, a
cat’, which reinforces the correct pronunciation
without him realising.”
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motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
FRANCESCO Guicciardini said, “Since BE A ROLE MODEL TALK ABOUT FRIENDS
there is nothing so well worth having Children often learn behaviour and “Start from just talking about friends
as friends, never lose a chance to make communication skills from the way or listing/brainstorming some qualities
them.” Friendships are as important for their parents behave or communicate. of good friends with your children;
your toddler as they are for you. Kids Be a role model for your child. Eileen like being honest, friendly, sharing,
learn about love, empathy, kindness and Kennedy-Moore, professor for The Great kind, talking in a polite manner and
caring for another through interaction Courses audio/video series, Raising respecting each other,” says Kashika
with other children. Valuable social Emotionally and Socially Healthy Kids, feels Dabra, pychologist and counsellor at
skills including good behaviour and that parents can model good friendship Delhi Public School, Gurgaon.
solving misunderstandings are imparted skills through good communication
naturally through a bond of friendship. in the family, having fun together as You can also explain clearly by doing
Here is a checklist on how you can help a family, and showing that they value a role play of a good friend.
your kiddo make new friends. spending time with their own friends.
OPEN UP OPPORTUNITIES
Eileen feels that the most important
way to support children’s friendships
is to give them opportunities to make
friends. “Get your child involved in
activities that can lead to friendships,
such as sports or clubs,” Eileen says.
Take your child on social visits to
your friend’s or neighbour’s homes
and get them interested in activities
which will make them interact with
other kids.
SCHEDULE A PLAY DATE
Do schedule play dates at home with
classmates or neighbours whom your
child likes. “One-on-one play dates help
your child deepen friendships. For new
friendships or children who are shy or
have trouble getting along with peers,
inviting other children over for an
activity and keeping the play date to no
more than two hours can help,” Eileen
says. Make sure to talk to your tot about
how a guest should be treated before
he comes over. Make him understand
that a host should behave well and a
guest should be well looked after.
Friends? healthy development. Here’s
Friends?
Your baby will soon have
to get social to maintain
how you can get your tot to
make new friends
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Mother and Baby motherandbabyindia.com
houses or meet down in the garden DO NOT COMPARE
BE AN OBSERVER and let our children be. Gradually Never compare a child’s ability to his
“Parents should let children get to they started interacting and had or friend’s. This can not only result
know each other instead of trying to lots of opportunity of free play and in low self esteem in the child, but
make an official introduction,” says unstructured interaction,” says Neha can also have an adverse effect on
Aarti C Rajratnam, parenting expert Chopra, mum to Noor. friendship by giving rise to feelings of
and co-author of Parenting: Innocence jealousy and hatred.
to InnerSense. She feels that children TEACH SOCIAL SKILLS
need skills to relate to the peer group Research suggests that when parents BE PATIENT
and that can come only when they talk more about feelings as they come Parents must be patient and have
meet each other regularly, in a non- up in books, movies, or real life, reasonable expectations about their
competitive environment and have children become better at imagining child’s social skills. Kashika feels
opportunities for age appropriate play. other people’s perspectives. that children develop the ability to
Parents should be silently supporting become more mutual, reciprocal
the children without intervening much. “Teach social skills directly by guiding and empathic over time. “Most two-
your child to think through a situation year-olds will not share easily. Many
MEET THE PARENTS or practicing through role play; this preschoolers (and school age kids)
Always try to make friends with the works better than just lecturing,” don’t play well in groups, but do well
parents of your child’s friends. “We Eileen says. Discuss questions like: in pairs.” she says.
made sure that our children interacted “How do you think you should
regularly. We would visit each other respond to that?”
January 2020 | 95
motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
call. A date. Nail-biting which school and admission procedures. were fortunate to have our baby get
excitement. Butterflies in the “Registered? For what?” I queried back. into the school that was our numero
stomach. What shall I wear? “School, of course,” said the man, uno choice. The fact that this school
Oh, but it’s not what “Don’t you know you have to pre-register also started its procedures before the
A you’re thinking. It’s a call your child in Mumbai? We registered others helped immensely. We did not
from the preferred school with a date for Guddu when he was two days old.” This have to apply to all on the list and then
the interaction leading to panic/ was an acquaintance from South wait endlessly.
excitement-driven nail biting and stomach Mumbai and apparently some even
churning. And what should the baby and register at conception! As a new mum or for that matter new
husband wear?!!! parent, the first exposure to the concept
My ‘phone a friend’ in crisis to several of school is daunting. It’s been years
“Has he been registered?” asked in the friends revealed that they had not heard of since we were in school, a lot has
same tone as “Has he had all his shots?” this early enrolment process and the changed, the arrival of the baby has had
is a seemingly innocuous question posed general consensus was ‘chill, our tots are us in a blissful cocoon of family bonding
invariably by the parent who has already too young for school.’ However the wheels and now bang – our darling, precious,
‘registered’ his or her child. This had been set in motion and ‘now what?’ delicate baby who has barely even rid
question can pop up anytime post the was the question. himself of diapers needs to be
arrival of your baby. I was asked when introduced to socio-cultural
our son was 13 months and then started Two years down the line, we have just communication and it is back to
my spiral of chaos, anxiety and fear about finished with the admission process and classroom basics for us.
Now that your toddler is ready to move from preschool to the
real thing, here’s what to expect and tips to deal with the
entire process of picking the right school
Rights of
ADMISSION
Reserved
96 | January 2020
Mother and Baby motherandbabyindia.com
If you too are at the planning-on-school stage, get ready for an emotional roller-coaster ride. There is a
lot to think about and discuss with your spouse and family. Here’s a list to get you started and hopefully
ease off some of the tension...
Select a preferred board or type of Discuss the schooling you received. Chat with your child about the
schooling. The options are plenty – What struck you and your spouse as process and give him a heads up too.
SSC, CBSE, ICSE, IGCSE, IB, Gurukul, the most relevant or striking and Even better, take the child along on
Montessori and even Home what made lasting impressions on the first familiarisation trip and gauge
Schooling. you? the reaction.
Introspect and list out a set of Chat with your parents. What were Don’t fret if you do not hear a positive
priorities with your expectations from their priorities for you? If, as reply from the first school on your list
a school. Have your spouse do the grandparents, they will need to be just look to the next best option. You
same and then compare and discuss. involved with the schooling process, can always retry at a later date for the
Be ready to compromise. If ideologies discuss all the aspects that will school of your choice.
on schooling are different, some require their input and time. Finally, heave a sigh of relief first when
amount of conflict is bound to be Visit the schools yourself or call and you have selected your preferred
generated. get information. Don’t go by hearsay. options and then at every step until
Think about features like merit lists, Get a feel of the place, observe and you have the letter of admission in
extra-curricular activities, playground, notice the people you meet, the your hand. Sing, dance, celebrate and
air-conditioned class rooms, canteen outside of the school, the playground, frame the letter if getting it was
quality, fee structures, weekly offs, the classrooms, the students, the fraught with sleepless nights and
proximity to home, quality of discipline, the washrooms, the endless tension about which, where,
teachers, options for further studies maasis that assist kids, the security when, how much, will we, won’t we.
either abroad or within the country. at the gate, the canteen, the Been there. Done that. Best of luck.
Make your own wish list with pros and laboratories, the history of the school
cons of the schools in your vicinity. and more. It is your right to ask
List the schools in your area. Ask pertinent questions. Your child will
yourself if you would relocate to spend most of his waking hours here.
provide your kid the education you Registering at birth or earlier is a very
want to give him? Young children limited trend and tends not to exist
need to feel secure as it builds a where many new schools are
foundation for confidence. In the opening up.
event of any unforeseen eventuality, List the schools preference-wise. Find
can you get to the school quickly and out admission-form dates and take it
easily? from there. Call and re-check with the
Some schools openly demand hefty school from time to time.
donations. Will these schools feature Be yourself at the interview and
on your list? Will peer pressure guide interaction. If your child has been to a
your decisions regarding this issue? preschool, there is no need for
Does the type of children that attend additional coaching for the child or
the school affect your impression of parent. Admission coaching classes
the establishment? are excellent marketing, ingenious,
Advice will pour in from everywhere. alternate urban professions.
This leads to confusion. Stop. Re-look Age-appropriate questions are asked
at your list, interact and take opinions of the child and all educators of any
but don’t be driven by them. Steer merit know what to look for in young
clear of people or information that children. They are sensitive to
make you anxious. Keep to your behavioural patterns and realise that
priorities. The important thing is to extraneous factors such as waiting
know what you want from a school long hours, hunger, fatigue, change in
and work towards that. Don’t be routine can affect the child and these
swayed by the herd mentality. are taken into consideration.
January 2020 | 97
motherandbabyindia.com Mother and Baby
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