Night before ghosting_HJ FINAL

’Twas the Ghosting before Christmas By: Haley Jackson


’Twas the ghosting before Christmas, when all through our house
He had not texted her once in six days, and had not left an Insta comment regarding the pic of her
in her new blouse.
Her iPhone was place by the window with care,
As surely she’d received the best
service there.
Excuses had started to run through her head;
While visions of their past dates filled her with dread;
With her sister in her sweats, and I on my ol’ iMac,
We had just settled down for a long Netflix post-documentary induced nap.
When over by the window, we heard such a clatter,
Her iPhone went off and we all rose to see what was the matter.
Away to the widow we flew with a flash; Was it that fuck boy from last summer, or the cause of this current group


It was neither she said with disdain in her voice
And, I knew in that moment that it
must be St. Nick...
the pizza delivery guy who was never quick.
Her eyes filled with tears as she shook her head;
It was a text from her Great Grandma Carol, who wanted to know if she was in bed.
To Insta and Facebook!
To Snapchat and Twitter!
And, if you added him on LinkedIn, we’re really in the shittier.
Unfollow him! Unfollow him! Unfollow him on them all!
Before you go crazy-girl on him and tarnish the female reputation for us all.
He was a chubby and plump, and I totally saw him drool;
He ghosted on you, lovie and he’s a piece of stool.


I sprang to her phone with conviction in my eye;
To Tinder I said, I’m sure you’ll find a lovely guy;
But, do please keep an eye out for a call from ol’ St. Nick,
I still want that pizza pie, and I hope it’s quick.
Remember, dear friends as I say goodnight, if you Ghost on someone, their friends will have to
deal with that plight
Happy Swipping to all, and to all a good night.