18092483 Bnai Text PROOF

Concluding Prayers
O Heavenly Father
O Heavenly Father
With tearful hearts we have recited our Yizkor prayers and revered the memories of our
dear loved ones who dwell forever in Your Eternal Abode.
Today, the heavens become closer, and through our prayers, eternity opens before us.
We pray that we be a strong link in the chain of Jewish Immortality. May the way we conduct our lives ever reflect honor upon the sacred memories of our dearly beloved.
May our hearts be kindly disposed towards the needs of our people, and may our hands not falter in our sacred obligations.
O God, May You grant us the blessing of our loved ones from Life Eternal, and may we sanctify our moral lives so that after “One hundred and twenty years” we, too, will be remembered for good.
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When I Stray From You, O Lord, my life is as death;
but when I cleave to You, even in death I have life.
You embrace the souls of the living and the dead.
The earth inherits that which perishes.
But only the dust returns to dust; the soul, which is God’s, is immortal.
The Lord has compassion for His creatures.
He has planted eternity within our soul, granting us a share in his unending life.
He redeems our life from the grave.
During our brief life on earth He gives us choices.
We can cherish hopes, embrace values and perform deeds which death cannot destroy.
May we all be charitable in deed and thought,
in memory of those we love who walk the earth no longer.
May we live unselfishly, in truth and love and peace, so that we will be remembered as a blessing, as we this day lovingly remember those whose lives endure as a blessing.
Concluding Prayers
When I Stray From You
27


Mourners’ Kaddish
Yit gadal v’yit-kadash sh’mey raba,
B’alma di v’ra chirutey, v’yam-lich mal-chutey,
B’cha-yey-chon uv-homey-chon uv-cha-yey d’chol beyt Yisrael, Ba-agala u-vizm,an kariv, v’imru amen.
Y’hey sh’mey raba m’varach l’alam ul-almey alma-ya.
Yit-barach v’yish-tabach v’yit-pa-ar v’yit-romam v’yit-na-sey, V’yit-hadar v’yit’aleh v’yit-halal sh’mey d’kud-sha,
B’rich hu, l’eyla (ul-eyla) min kol bir-chata v’shi-rata, Tush-b’chata v’ne-chemata da’amiran b’alma, v’imru amen. Y’hey sh’lama raba min sh’ma-ya
V’cha-yim aleynu v’al kol Yisrael, v’imru amen. Oseh shalom bi-m’romav, hu ya-aseh shalom Aleynu v’al kol Yisrael, v’imru amen.
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Your staff and Your rod comfort me.
You prepare a banquet for me in the presence of my foes.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and kindness shall be my portion all the days of my life.
And I shall dwell in the House of the Lord forever.
Psalm 23
A PSALM OF DAVID
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He gives me repose in green meadows.
He leads me beside the still waters to revive my spirit. He guides me on the right path, for that is His nature.
Though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no harm, for You are with me.
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God is my shepherd, I shall not lack. I never have lacked.
In lush meadows He lays me down, beside tranquil waters He leads me.
This year I have been able to feel a peace that I had not previously known — in Hebrew, “nachat ruach.”
He restores my soul
which I believe is eternal.
He leads me on paths of justice for His name’s sake.
I can only hope that I have followed these paths more often than I have shunned them.
Though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.
Throughout this ordeal, I have never been afraid. Perhaps it is because I am a person of faith? Or maybe I am too simpleminded to recognize the magnitude of the loss that I am facing?
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
I interpret God’s “rod” and “staff” to be my family and friends, respectively.
You prepare a table before me in view of my tormentors.
I think about the tables in my life... my childhood dinner table... breakfast before school with my kids at a cafe table... the seder table...the table from which I read the Torah in synagogue.
You anointed my head with oil
I was brought up to believe I was special and could accomplish anything that I wanted
My cup overflows
A phrase I have uttered to myself each Friday night before the words of Kiddush.
May only goodness and kindness pursue me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of God for eternity.
Although I am saddened by what I will miss, the days with which I have been blessed have been full.
A Meditation On Psalm 23
by Matt Fenster, Z”L
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El Maleh
Exalted, compassionate God, grant infinite rest in Your sheltering presence, among the holy and pure, to the souls of our brethren who perished in the Shoah — men, women, and children of the House of Israel who were slaughtered and suffocated and burned to ashes. May their memory endure, and inspire deeds of charity and goodness in our lives. May their souls thus be bound up in the bond of life. May they rest in peace. And let us say: Amen.
Exalted, compassionate God, grant perfect peace among the holy and the pure, in Your sheltering Presence, to the souls of all our beloved who have gone to their eternal home. May their memory endure as inspiration for deeds of charity and goodness in our lives. May their souls thus be bound up in the bond of life. May they rest in peace. And let us say: Amen.
In memory of the six million:
In memory of all the dead:
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El Maleh For Israel’s Soldiers And Martyrs
Exalted, compassionate God, grant perfect peace among the holy and the pure, in your sheltering presence, to the souls of the soldiers of the Israel Defense Forces who gave their lives for the sanctity of Your Name, the people and the land, and died a death of valor in the wars of Israel, and the souls of those who were killed in terror attacks. For we pray on their their behalf, that paradise be their resting place. Therefore, Master of Mercy, shelter them in Your presence forever. May their souls be bound up in the bonds of life. God is their inheritance, and may they rest in peace. And let us say: Amen.
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The Prayer Of An Anonymous Soldier
I asked God for strength, that I might achieve; I was made weak, that I might learn to serve.
I asked for health, that I might do great things;
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for wealth, that I might be happy; I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might earn the praise of others; I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life; I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing I asked for, but all I hoped for. Despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered, And I am, among all people, most richly blessed.
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The Eighth Part
When A Man Dies
The eighth part (at least) of everything
is death. Its weight is not great.
How lightly and with what casual grace
we carry it with us everywhere we go.
On fresh awakenings, on journeys,
or in lovers’ talk — though seemingly
Left behind in some dark corner —
It is always with us. Weighing hardly anything at all.
Leah Goldberg
When a man dies neither silver nor gold nor precious stones accompany him, only Torah and good deeds. For it is said (Proverbs 6:22): “When you walk it shall lead you; when you lie down it shall watch over you; and when you awake it shall speak with you.” “When you walk it shall lead you” — in this world. “When you lie down it shall watch over you” — in the grave. “When you awake it shall speak with you” — in eternal life.
Pirkei Avot 6:9
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Yizkor for Righteous Gentiles
Remember, People of Israel, the Righteous Gentiles, who have placed their own lives in danger for the sake of our persecuted and tortured brothers and sisters during the Shoah 1939–1945, and who were as shining stars in the overwhelming darkness of evil.
Those who spoke out at a time of silence,
Those who offered sanctuary and a lease on life in the eye of the murderous storm,
Those who upheld those who were falling and extended a helping hand, food, and clothing. Who answered the cry of men, women, and children:
Men and women, workers of the land and city-dwellers
Of humble standing and of high rank,
People of faith and conscience.
In the very valley of the shadow of death, these men and women stood by our people, and from the fiery inferno they saved the few and the many. And where there were no human beings they were human.
Remember, People of Israel, their grandness of spirit, their heroism and their pure hearts. May God bind their souls in the bundle of life, and may it come to pass as it was written: “As the whirlwind passes, so is the wicked no more: but the righteous is an everlasting foundation”
Proverbs 10:25
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A Yahrzeit Candle Lit At Home
The Yahrzeit candle is different announcing neither Sabbath nor festival.
No benediction recited
No song sung
No psalm mandated.
Before this unlit candle
without a quorum, I stand
unstruck match in my hand.
It is less distant now
the remembrance ritual of parents deceased I am older now
closer to their age than before.
I am older now
their aches in my body
their white hairs beneath my shaved skin their wrinkles creased into my face.
It is less distant now
this ritual
once made me think of them
Now makes me think of me.
Once it recalled relationships to them
Now it ponders on my children’s relationship to me. Once I wondered what to remember of them
Now I ask what my children remember of me
what smile, what grimace
What stories they will tell their children of me.
It is less distant now.
How would I be remembered
How would I be mourned
Will they come to Synagogue
light a candle
recite the Kaddish.
It is less distant now.
Once Yahrzeit was about parents deceased
Now it is of children alive
Once it was about a distant past
Now it is about tomorrow.
Harold M. Schulweis
It Is Less Distant Now
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I never think of myself as waiting for you, but when the holiday has come and gone, when I’m packing up the Pesach dishes
or taking down the sukkah
I feel hopeless and alone. inconsolable.
Then I realize
I’ve left a small corner deep inside myself unpainted,
and in that small corner, I’m still a child,
a little girl,
waiting.
And I had hoped without knowing it that this chag you’d come.
My tears fall on the Pesach dishes and I wonder
why you’ve left me here
alone.
Merle Feld
Alone
17


Nothing Gold Can Stay
Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her earliest leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.
Robert Frost
Separation
Your absence has gone through me Like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color.
W.S. Merwin
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The Earth grows still.
The lurid sky slowly pales
Over smoking borders.
Heartsick, but still living,
a people stand by
To greet the uniqueness of the miracle. Readied, they wait beneath the moon, Wrapped in awesome joy,
before the light.
Then, soon, A girl and boy step forward, And slowly walk before the
waiting nation;
In work garb and heavy-shod
They climb In stillness.
Wearing yet the dress of battle,
the grime
Of aching day and fire-filled night Unwashed, weary unto death, not knowing rest,
But wearing youth like dewdrops
in their hair.
The Silver Platter
— Silently the two approach and stand. Are they of the quick or of the dead? Through wondering tears, the
people stare.
“Who are you, the silent two?”
And they reply: “We are the silver platter Upon which the Jewish State was
served to you.”
And speaking, fall in shadow at
the nation’s feet.
Let the rest in Israel’s chronicles be told.
Natan Alterman
15


For A Grandmother
For A Grandfather
Grandfather, your hands were
marked like lines on a map
And your old eyes saw all times and tides.
You survived and thrived
And visit me still
Even though you have long since left.
O, Ageless Explorer,
Your heart may be in the ground
But you have become the foundation of my step.
For when I step, you step with me
In the great, endless journey that never truly rests.
Devon Spier
My mother’s mother died
in the spring of her years,
and her daughter forgot her face. Her portrait, engraved
on my grandfather’s heart,
was erased from the world of images when he died.
In the house, just her mirror remained, sunk with age in its silver frame.
And I, the pale grandchild
who does not resemble her,
peer into it today as into a lake that hides its treasures underwater.
Deep behind my face,
I see a young woman — pink-cheeked, smiling,
a wig on her head —
threading a long-looped earring through the tender esh of her lobe.
Deep behind my face,
shines the bright gold of her eyes. And the mirror passes on
the family lore:
She was very beautiful.
Les Goldberg (translated by Marcia Falk)
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A Prayer For Those Not Saying Yizkor For Parents
While some have the custom of leaving the room if both parents are still alive, others remain to pray for other relatives, friends, or the Martyrs of Israel.
Almighty God, while those who have lost their parents and their dear ones call to mind those who have gone to their eternal rest, I at this solemn moment raise my eyes to You, the Giver of Life, and from a grateful heart thank You for Your mercies in having preserved the life of my beloved parents. May it be Your will, Adonai my God and the God of my ancestors, to bless them with health and strength, so that they may be with me for many years to come. Bless them even as they have blessed me, and guard them even as they have guarded me.
In return for their affection and the sacrifices which they have made for me, may I bring them joy and lighten their cares. May it be my privilege to help them in every way that lies within my power, may
I learn to understand and recognize the duty that I owe to them, so that I may never have cause to regret when it is too late.
Shield my home from all sorrow. May peace and harmony and Your spirit always be present within its walls. Keep me true to You and to all with whom I come into contact, so that I may appreciate the gift of life that You have granted to me and to those dear to me.
13


For Martyrs
May God remember the souls of our brethren, martyrs of our people, who gave their lives for the sanctification of His name. In their memory do I pledge charity. May their bravery, dedication and purity be reflected in our lives. May their souls be bound up in the bond of life. And may they rest eternally in dignity and peace. Amen.
For Members Of The Israel Defense Forces
In memory of martyrs:
May God remember the souls of the soldiers of the Israel Defense Forces who gave their lives for the sanctity of God’s Name, the people and the land, who died a heroic death in the wars of Israel. They were swifter than eagles and stronger than lions as they volunteered to help the people, and their pure blood soaked the clods of our holy earth and the deserts of Sinai. The memory of their self-sacrifice and heroic deeds will never perish from us. May their souls be bound in the Bond of Life with the souls of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and with the souls of the other Jewish heroes and martyrs who are in the Garden of Eden. Now let us respond, Amen.
12


Additional Yizkor Prayers For Parents
For a Parent Who Was Hurtful
Dear God,
You know my heart. Indeed, You know me better then I know myself, so I turn to you before I rise for Kaddish. My emotions swirl as I say this prayer. The parent I remember was not kind to me. His/her death left me with a legacy of unhealed wounds, of anger and of dismay that a parent could hurt a child as I was hurt.
I do not want to pretend to love, or to grief that I do not feel, but I do want to do what is right as a Jew and as a child. Help me, O God, to subdue my bitter emotions that do me no good, and to find that place in myself where happier memories may lie hidden, and where grief for all that could have been, all that should have been, may be calmed by forgiveness, or at least soothed by the passage of time.
I pray that You, who raise up slaves to freedom, will liberate me from the oppression of my hurt and anger, and that You will lead me from this desert to Your holy place.
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Additional Yizkor Prayers For Parents
For One’s Father
May God remember the memory of your life, dear father. It rises before me this solemn hour as I recall the kindness, love and encouragement showed me during your life. With untiring zeal you provided for my physical and spiritual needs. You rejoiced in my achievements, you guided me in my perplexities, and strengthened me in my trials and disappointments. I pay you the tribute you so richly deserve, by cherishing the ideals and principles you taught me, by continuing the noble work you left unfinished, by loyally upholding the heritage of Israel which you transmitted unto me, and by serving my people and all who need me. Though you are gone from my physical view, the bond of love which unites us can never be severed. May the memories of your life spur me on to follow truth and righteousness. Amen.
For One’s Mother
May God remember You though we are separated, dear mother. In this solemn hour, I call to mind the love and solicitude with which you tended and watched over my childhood, ever mindful of my welfare, and ever anxious for my happiness. Many were the sacrifices you made to ennoble my heart and instruct my mind. What I achieved is because of your influence, and what I am, I have become through you. Though you are no longer physically present, the lessons that you imparted unto me shall ever remain with me.
If at times, I failed in showing you the love and appreciation you so worthily deserved, if I have been thoughtless and ungrateful, I ask to be forgiven. I pray that your spirit inspire me to noble and intelligent living, so that when my days on earth are ended, and I arrive at the Throne of Mercy, I shall be deemed worthy of you, and to be reunited with you in God. Amen.
10


In Memory Of Female Relatives And Friends
May God remember the soul of
my mother________________________ my wife__________________________ my partner________________________ my sister__________________________ my daughter_______________________ my relative________________________ my friend_________________________ (others)___________________________
who has [have] gone to her [their] eternal home. In loving testimony to her life [their lives], I pledge tz’dakah to help perpetuate ideals important to her [them]. Through such deeds, and through prayer and remembrance, may her [their] soul[s] be bound up in the bond of life. May I prove myself worthy of the many gifts with which she [they] blessed me. May these moments of meditation strengthen the ties that link me to her [their] memory. May she [they] rest in peace forever in God’s presence. Amen.
We rise.
9


In Memory Of Male Relatives And Friends
May God remember the soul of
my father_________________________ my husband_______________________ my partner________________________ my brother________________________ my son___________________________ my relative________________________ my friend_________________________ (others)___________________________
who has [have] gone to his [their] eternal home. In loving testimony to his life [their lives], I pledge tz’dakah to help perpetuate ideals important to him [them]. Through such deeds, and through prayer and remembrance, may his [their] soul[s] be bound up in the bond of life. May I prove myself worthy of the many gifts with which he [they] blessed me. May these moments of meditation strengthen the ties that link me to his [their] memory. May he [they] rest in peace forever in God’s presence. Amen.
We rise.
8


Meditation
Our generations are bound to each other as children now remember their parents. Love is strong as death as husbands and wives now remember their mates, as parents now remember their children. Memory conquers death’s dominion as we now remember our brothers and sisters, grandparents, and other relatives and friends.
The death of those we now remember left gaping holes in our lives. But we are grateful for the gift of their lives. And we are strengthened by the blessings which they left us, by precious memories which comfort and sustain us as we recall them this day.
A Personal Meditation
Eternal God, Master of mercy, give me the gift of remembering. May my memories of the dead be tender and true, undiminished by time, not falsified by sentimentality. Let me recall them, and love them, as they were.
.Give me the gift of tears. Let me express my sense of loss, my sorrow, my pain, as well as my gratitude and my love.
.Give me the gift of prayer. May I confront You with an open heart, with trusting faith, unembarrassed and unashamed.
.Give me the gift of hope. May I always believe in the beauty of life, the power of goodness, the right to joy. May I surrender my being, and the soul of the dead, to Your eternal compassion.
We each continue in private meditation, selecting from among the following and adding appropriate names as indicated. Personal prayers may be added.
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Yizkor - Memorial Service
God, what are we, that You have regard for us? What are we, that You are mindful of us? We are like a breath, our days are as a passing shadow, we come and go like grass which in the morning shoots up, renewed, and in the evening fades and withers. You cause us to revert to dust, saying, Return. O mortal creatures! Would that we were wise, that we understood whither we are going! For when we die we carry nothing away; our glory does not accompany us. Mark the whole-hearted and behold the upright; they shall have peace. God, you redeem the soul of Your servants, and none who trust in You shall be desolate. We are strangers in Your sight.
O God: like all who came before us, our days on earth vanish like the shadows. But the speedy flight of life, and the grave that looms on the horizon, should not dismay us; rather, let them teach us wisdom and prompt us to put our trust in You. For only the dust returns to the dust; the spirit which you have breathed into us returns to You, its everlasting Source. Into us You have placed a portion of Your divinity; Your mighty strength is our firm support. When we become servants of Your Law, witnesses to Your truth, champions of Your dominion, then indeed do we endow our fleeting days with abiding worth.
We are children of dust, eternal God. Give us strength and understanding that we may fill our days with good. Though our days are few, help us to make them great.
6


Each of us has a name given by the Source of Life and given by our parents
Each of us has a name
given by our stature and our smile and given by what we wear
Each of us has a name given by the mountains and given by our walls
Each of us has a name given by the stars
and given by our neighbors
Each of us has a name given by our sins
and given by our longing
Each of us has a name given by our enemies and given by our love
Each of us has a name given by our celebrations and given by our work
Each of us has a name given by the seasons
and given by our blindness
Each of us has a name given by the sea
and given by our death
Each Of Us Has A Name
5


My Help Comes From The Lord
I will lift up mine eyes unto the mountains; Whence shall my help come?
My help comes from Adonai
Who made heaven and earth.
Trust in the Lord at all times; Pour out your heart before him. In all ways, acknowledge God, And He will direct your paths.
Adonai is our refuge and strength,
An ever-present help in trouble.
Adonai is near unto all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him sincerely.
Adonai redeems the souls of His servants;
None of them that trust in Him shall be forsaken. His compassions and His mercies–
They have been from of old,
Adonai heals the broken-hearted, Binding up their wounds.
Adonai in His holy dwelling-place Is the Father of the orphan,
And the Advocate of the widow’s cause.
Though my flesh and my heart fail,
Adonai is my strength and my portion forever. Adonai lights my lamp,
Illuminating my darkness.
4


Message From The Senior Rabbi
Yizkor is one of the most sacred services on the Jewish calendar. It is observed on the holiest days of the year- on Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement) and on Passover, Shmini Atzeret and Sukkot, the three harvest festivals that preserve our memories of the exodus from Egypt.
We choose these most imposing days to pay special attention to those whose memo- ries hold dear. The pews are full, and even amidst the joy of the festival the melodies are somber and lingering. In this awe-inspiring setting, the time-honored words of the Yizkor service ask us to pledge charity and commit to righteous acts in memory of those whom we have lost. We are asked to remember our own dear ones, and the martyrs of our people.
Many who are present at Yizkor have taken the words of this service seriously. The book you hold in your hands, full of memorial listings, represents hundreds of contri- butions to Tzedakah in memory of those we remember today. However, I would like to suggest that this year at Yizkor we each make a further commitment, for there is a mode of remembrance even more sacred than Yizkor.
Even more sacred than Yizkor is the recitation of Kaddish, daily during the first eleven months, and then each year on the anniversary of the death. Kaddish may only be said in the context of a minyan, as we rely on the support of our community to pay proper tribute.
As you make your solemn pledge in memory of your dear ones, will you commit to come yet one more time in their honor? To come to minyan on their yahrzeit, or perhaps even to come once a month, to support others who mourn? As we remember the martyrs of Israel, who gave up their lives for our faith, would you offer a morning or an afternoon in daily prayer?
May we all be sustained and comforted by the memories that we honor here today, and may we all be inspired to service to God, ourselves and our community through charity and prayer.
Joshua Heller, Senior Rabbi 3


Table of Contents
Memorial Prayers ................................................................... El Maleh .................................................................................. 23rd Psalm .............................................................................. Mourner’s Kaddish ................................................................ Concluding Prayers ............................................................... In Loving Memory
Tributes of Our Congregation ...............................................
6-21 22-23 24-25
26 27-28
1- 48
2


Yizkor Book
The Gift of Memory
We thank You, O God of life and love,
For the resurrecting gift of memory
Which endows Your children, fashioned in Your image, With the Godlike sovereign power
To give immortality through love.
Praised be to You, O God,
Who enables Your children to remember.
Morris Adler
1