The words you are searching are inside this book. To get more targeted content, please make full-text search by clicking here.

10396 DEDJTR PWS CS MEMC wshop hbook A4_Proof v5

Discover the best professional documents and content resources in AnyFlip Document Base.
Search
Published by , 2016-12-13 18:12:15

10396 DEDJTR PWS CS MEMC wshop hbook A4_Proof v5

10396 DEDJTR PWS CS MEMC wshop hbook A4_Proof v5

Manager
as Coach

Between stimulus and
response there is a space.
In that space is our power
to choose our response.
In our response lies our
growth and our freedom.

Viktor E. Frankl

Until you make the
unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life
and you will call it fate.

C.G. Jung

Proudly working with
White Ribbon to create
a safer workplace.

2 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

WELCOME TO THE DEDJTR MANAGER
AS COACH PROGRAM!

In the Manager as Coach program you will learn specific strategies and techniques that
will enable you to lead your team and assist with the development of a flexible mindset
so that your staff remain innovative, productive, resilient and adaptive, particularly when
working under time or resource pressure and during periods of change. Pressure and
change are common features of modern workplaces, and in leading your staff it’s important
that everyone feels resourceful and can act in a solution focused way, whilst positively
influencing their working environment and beyond that, their stakeholder community.

At the end of the 4-day program you will be able to:

• Apply coaching methodologies to manager conversations with staff, colleagues, your manager
and other stakeholders to enable and empower performance

• Demonstrate increased levels of self-awareness and self-management, awareness of others and
relationship management in your manager behaviours

• Coach teams around team goals, ensuring that individual, team and departmental goals and
values are in alignment

• Understand and apply coaching methodologies, in conjunction with the principles of Whole Brain
Thinking and basic principles of neuroscience, to management functions, such as
–– role and task allocation
–– change management
–– relationship management
–– professional development and
–– team culture oversight

• Adopt a range of coaching strategies to create a workplace that celebrates diversity and promotes
creativity and innovation, allowing staff to leverage their strengths to flourish in the workplace

Activity:

What would be a productive outcome for me from this program?

DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH 3

LEADERSHIP AGILITY PATHWAY
LEADERSHIP AGILITY PATHWAY

5 PEOPLE

STRATEGY

4

3

2

1 TECHNICAL

Activity:

Discuss with a partner

What role is represented at each level in DEDJTR?

What skills do I need to develop at each level? Manager as Coach

How does my thinking need to change? Discovery 1: Discovery 2:
My real Self -
My Ideal Self -
What do I need to let go of at each level? Who do I want to be? Who am I?

Why is it important to be clear about this? Discovery 2:
Discovery 4: My Strengths - where my
ideal & real self are similar?
Creating & building new
neural pathways through

practicing to mastery

Discovery 4: Discovery 5:

New behaviour, thoughts, Trusting relationships that
& feelings through help, support and encourage
experimentation
each step in the process

Discovery 3: Discovery 2:

My Learning Agenda - building o My Gaps - where my
my strengths while reducing gaps Ideal & real self are different

4 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

LEADERSHIP AGILITY PATHWAY

5 PEOPLE

STRATEGY

4

3

SE2 LF-DIRECTED LEARNING

1 TECHNICAL

The research done by Richard Boyatzis into emotional intelligence aligns well with DEDJTR values
and expectation of managers, and reinforces how important it is to take ownership of our own
learning and development, as well as the learning and development of the people we manage.

Discovery 1: Manager as Coach

My Ideal Self - Discovery 2:
Who do I want to be? My real Self -

Discovery 4: Who am I?

Creating & building new Discovery 2:
neural pathways through My Strengths - where my
ideal & real self are similar?
practicing to mastery

Discovery 4: Discovery 5:

New behaviour, thoughts, Trusting relationships that
& feelings through help, support and encourage
experimentation
each step in the process

Discovery 3: Discovery 2:

My Learning Agenda - building o My Gaps - where my
my strengths while reducing gaps Ideal & real self are different

CIRCLE
OF CONCERN

t2 CIRCLE
OF INFLUENCE
DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH 5
CIRCLE

Day 1 What makes us think the way we do?
How do we manage our thinking?
How does it impact on DEDJTR outcomes?

THE ROLE OF COACHING IN
MANAGEMENT AND MANAGER
DEVELOPMENT

The prime goal of coaching is to allow an individual or team to fulfil their potential, to enable them to
perform at their best, to unleash their skills and strengths, to identify obstructions and support staff
to overcome these obstructions. Ultimately, this translates into departmental outcomes.

Coaching is about enabling employees to fully realise their potential, and as such, is integral to the
role of leader and manger. The Manager as Coach program will build a coaching culture in DEDJTR
through overall uplift in the coaching skill-set, and collaborative development of a coaching mind-set
in people managers.

There are two broad coaching contexts defined as follows:

Developmental – the purpose of the coaching is to develop an individual or team

Interventionist – the purpose of the coaching is to support a high performing individual or team
who/which is experiencing some form of obstruction

Both coaching contexts require powerful and meaningful conversations which lead to:

• an understanding of the current situation, a desired future situation and the creation of a pathway
between the two points

• the stimulation of action to move to a newer set of behaviours that allows the person being coached
to reach his/her potential

Both coaching contexts require powerful and meaningful conversations based on:

• belief in the person being coached
• trust and mutual understanding
• willingness of the person to be coached

Role of Manager as Coach

If a manager is to effectively develop and apply a coaching mind-set and skill-set, he/she requires
an understanding of and degree of mastery in:

1. Emotional Intelligence
• Self-Awareness
• Self-Management
• Social Awareness
• Relationship Management

Adapted from The Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights by Daniel Goleman, p.11

6 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

Coaching as a methodology has the greatest potential to fulfil the basic needs of the brain for:
• Attachment – built through mutual trust, rapport and positive relationships
• Orientation and control – the coachee defines the goals to be achieved, regular meetings and

feedback lead to a high level of orientation and control
• Reward and recognition – potential is fulfilled, goals are achieved, feedback is provided in a safe

and trusting environment, achievement is recognised
• Self-esteem – in defining and forming goals that a staff member can reach and fulfil, a manager

creates a positive cycle of success, thereby increasing self-worth and self-value of staff.

Adapted from Neuroleadership: A Journey Through the Brain for Business Leaders by Ghadiri, Habermacher and Peters, p.110-112

FORMAL COACHING AND/OR COACHING
CONVERSATION

The Manager as Coach program will equip DEDJTR managers with coaching skills that will support
you to:
• conduct a formal, structured, one-on-one coaching session
• apply coaching techniques in your conversations with staff
• employ a coaching approach to managing staff
• employ a coaching approach to the facilitation of team meetings
• make every interaction count

DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH 7

THE ROLE OF COACHING IN
MANAGEMENT AND MANAGER
DEVELOPMENT IN DEDJTR

The role of Manager in DEDJTR is now underpinned by four mandatory key selection criteria that are
intended to assist in demonstrating the mindsets, practices and skills people managers need to have
in the Department. These mandatory key selection criteria relate to:
• Capacity to develop others, especially through on-the-job development exercises
• Capacity to role model and promote high integrity behaviours
• Capacity to communicate effectively with individuals and teams
• Capacity to bring a collaborative mindset to their work
These key selection criteria will be used to assess a candidate’s suitability for the position and will
provide a basis for assessment as part of the recruitment and selection process.

Activity:

On a scale of 0-10, 0 being that I can’t do this at all and 10 being I have nothing more to learn, where
am I in my manager development?
0 5 10

On a scale of 0-10, 0 being that I have no impact at all and 10 being I get everything I ask for, where
am I in my manager impact?
0 5 10

What opportunities do I have to demonstrate my capacity in relation to the above criteria?

A Manager as Coach mind-set, skill-set and approach to developing and managing staff will build an
emotionally intelligent, brain friendly workplace where people can flourish and be their best. This will
lead to a healthy and stimulating work environment, allowing DEDJTR to function at its optimum.

8 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COACHING
AND OTHER APPROACHES

There are some significant distinctions between the methodologies available to managers
when working with and developing staff. It is important that managers understand the range
of methodologies available to them, and draw consciously and productively on the most
appropriate methodology in any particular context. This builds on the management theory
outlined in Situational Leadership™.

It is important for managers to note that coaching is not an approach that can be imposed on people.

COACHING COUNSELLING

advice free, equal relationship, future-focused, often focused on the past,
solution-focused, judgement free, coachee centred, includes advice, based on idea that client

based on idea that client has all resources needs guidance, to solve problems
needed to accomplish a goal

CONSULTING TRAINING

advice given, usually by an external direct transfer of knowledge and skills
advisor with a specific area of expertise by subject matter expert, aimed
at developing competency

MANAGING MENTORING

direction and advice to others guidance and knowledge
based on the position held, in a specific area from someone
usually one of authority
who is more experienced

Activity:

When is a coaching the best approach for a manager to adopt?

When is a coaching not the best approach for a manager to adopt?

DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH 9

LEVELS OF LEARNING

10 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

THE STRUCTURE OF EXPERIENCE

Experience itself has a structure. What does this mean? It means that there are specific sensory filters
that we perceive our world through. This structure is truly the source point of our thinking.

Why is the word thinking in italics? To bring to our conscious attention something that is basically
an unconscious process. And since it is an unconscious process it’s usually taken for granted. Hence
almost all of our everyday perceptions go unchecked.

Consciously understanding that experience has a structure gives us incredible insight and leverage
in creating rich experiences for ourselves and others. It allows us to understand the similarity in every
human experience while appreciating the amazing uniqueness in everyone.

Conscious META INTERNAL EXTERNAL
Mind PROGRAMS WORLD WORLD

LIFES FILTERS SENSORS
FILTERS

Map

Deletion

State Distortion
Generalisation
Unconscious
Mind

Physiology

Behaviour/Action

Activity:

Can I identify any significant filters that I apply to my thinking?

DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH 11

DELETION, GENERALISATION
AND DISTORTION

Deletion

We cannot convey everything about an experience in words. Deletion is essential, otherwise we would
be overwhelmed by our experience. Deletion is neither good nor bad in itself. It depends on what we
delete. When someone is droning on about something trivial, you might wish for a bit more deletion.
But people who use deletion a lot in their thinking tend to make big leaps of logic, so it may be difficult
to follow their train of argument. These people may also have excellent concentration, because they
can delete distractions. Some people go further still and delete everything they don’t want to hear!

Generalisation

We generalise when we take one example to represent a whole group. For example, we see how our
parents treat each other and take that as the model of how men and women live together. We create
categories, classes and chunks of information from single examples and then we use those same
categories to process new information.

Generalisation is the basis of learning. We learn rules from carefully chosen and representative
examples and apply these to understand new examples. Our beliefs are generalisations; they give
us ways of predicting the world based on what we have experienced before.

Generalisation is problematic when:

• We generalise from an unusual or unrepresentative experience and expect future instances to fit
this pattern.

• We generalise correctly at the time and make a rule, but do not pay attention to exceptions.
Exceptions do not prove the rule – they disprove it!

If we generalise a lot, we may see the world in fixed categories and be rather inflexible in our thinking.
Or we may be quick to see general principles behind specific examples and be good at pattern detection.

Distortion

Distortion is how we change our experience. We can distort in many ways. We can embellish an
experience, make it larger, smaller, more dilute, more concentrated, we can ‘blow it out of proportion’,
we can alter the sequence of events, add on things that were not there.

Distortion, like deletion, is neither good nor bad. It depends on what and how you distort. Distortion
can make you unhappy and paranoid. It is also the basis of creativity, artistic talent and original
thinking. People who distort their experience more than usual may be very creative thinkers.
They may also jump to conclusions, assume motives with little evidence, and surprise you with
their interpretations of what you say.

Used with permission from Kathy McKenzie, FIREUP™ Coaching

Brian Bacon Founder and President of the Oxford Leadership Academy

Where your attention goes your energy flows and life grows
What you pay attention to determines what you miss

12 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY

The father of general semantics, Alfred Korzybski, coined the phrase ‘A map is not the territory it
represents, but if correct, it has a similar structure to that territory, which accounts for its usefulness.’
Our perception of reality is not reality itself but our version of reality ... it is our map. No two people
have the same map. While we all have similar neurological structures, how we interpret incoming
stimuli is different. This is the basis for how our maps or perceptions of the world differ. Learning
to recognise the structure of another person’s map helps us to ‘see the world though their eyes’.
It is important that:
• When we translate our experience into words we remember that it is an incomplete reflection
• We can confuse others when we mistakenly assume they share our assumptions and we leave

vital information out
• We can misunderstand others when we fill in the gaps from our map of reality not their map

of reality
• We may share the same language but may not share the same experience
Neuroscience research is increasingly enabling us to understand how our minds create biases,
blind spots and filters that shape the way we perceive the world around us.

Used with permission from Kathy McKenzie, FIREUP™ Coaching
Also referencing Conversational Intelligence by Judith E. Glasser, p. xxiii

13DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL WORLD

We often make the mistake of thinking that because we have said something, the other person
has understood, when it may not be the case at all. As we saw previously, each piece of information
we receive passes through our unconscious filters of perception, and this process changes the
information in ways that are individual to each person. This means that our internal world does
not really match the external world.

CONSCIOUS MIND

CHANGE - ABILITY OLD HABITS WORDS NEW HABITS
OLD BELIEFS NEW BELIEFS
ACTIONS

BEHAVIOUR

THINKING

BELIEFS
Driving needs, fears,
limiting beliefs, inner
critic, values, eithics

PERSONALITY

DNA
UNCONSCIOUS MIND

Activity:

Think of a time when your interpretation of a situation differed markedly from someone else’s.

How might you account for this difference?

14 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

IMPROVING HUMAN PERFORMANCE

Performance basically comes down to two things:

P=P-I
Where…..
Performance =
Potential – Interference

Adapted from The Inner Game of Work by Tim Gallwey

Activity:

What interference is evident in your workplace?
How might a coaching approach support you in dealing with these interferences?

15DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

WHOLE BRAIN THINKING

Background to Whole Brain Thinking

Break through brain surgery on epileptic patients in the 1960s led to the discovery that the
different hemispheres of the brain controlled vastly different aspects of thought and action.
The left hemisphere is dominant for language and speech as well as for analytical and logical
thought. The right hemisphere is dominant for visualising big picture thinking and imagination.
It thrives on unstructured activities.
Everything we do starts with our brain - the way you think, react to others, make decisions,
communicate, choose careers, manage people, and bring up your family - it all depends on how
you think! We all have preferred ways of thinking. Some people focus on facts, others look for
relationships. Some like detail, others prefer the bigger picture.
Whilst our personal ‘thinking preferences’ can sometimes help us in certain situations, they can also
inhibit our ability to function fully and effectively. So to improve our effectiveness - both personally
and organisationally - we need to more fully understand our thinking preferences. The Herrmann
Brain Dominance Instrument (HBDI™) is a thoroughly validated and well-researched instrument for
determining your thinking preferences. HBDI™ is our preferred source of reliable information on
thinking preferences and the concepts of whole brain thinking.

The HBDI™ is based on the award-winning
research of Ned Herrmann who led the
development and validation of the Whole Brain
Model ™ to describe how people think. More
than a million people worldwide have taken
the HBDI™.
Our experience is that brain dominance is
one of the most useful tools in helping people
to understand why they think the way they
do, and how to adapt when communicating
and relating to another person who has very
different ways of thinking.

Used with permission from Kathy McKenzie, FIREUP™ Coaching

16 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

WHY FOCUS ON BRAIN DEVELOPMENT?

The Human Brain
Your brain has evolved over millions of years. There are parts of the brain that developed over
a hundred million years ago. Different parts of the brain have developed different functions,
and depending on which part of the brain is dominant in our thinking, our thoughts will be directed
in different ways.
Reptilian brain = 100 million years old
This is the tiny enlargement at the top of the spinal column. Its main use is to respond to stimuli
immediately e.g. putting your hand on a hot stove. It is responsible for direct, simple, active
conclusions: I am thirsty, I am hungry, I am in danger!

Cerebral Cortex

Limbic System

Brain Stem - Reptilian Complex

Limbic (or Emotional) brain = 50 million years old
This part of the brain is 98% the same for all mammals.
Our dogs show us affection because they have a Limbic brain. The Limbic brain is about survival
of the group e.g. nurturing the young and has a strong auditory and tonal attention. Many mammals
make a lot of sounds to teach and command their young and to sort out dynamics within the group
(growls, grunts, bellows, yaps, snorts etc.).
Our Limbic brain is searching for how things are the same. Mammals like to keep within their comfort
zone, avoiding change and maintaining long term habitual patterns. They eat the same food, follow
the same paths, sleep in the same spot. They know their group habits very well and are willing to fight
to protect their group and their group’s territory.
The Limbic brain tends to be black and white and sees things as right OR wrong, perfect OR
imperfect. There is also a strong relationship to our internal conversations.

Marilyn Atkinson, Ph.D, R.Psych Art and Science of Coaching Manual, Vancouver, 2001

17DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

Cerebral (or Neocortex) brain = 2 million years old
As humans evolved, they developed a cerebral brain which is a 1000 times more flexible than the
emotional brain. One of its biggest advantages is its capacity to visualise the future.
We can imagine, plan and map out the future. It’s slower in response time than the other two brains
because we have to think about our response!
The cerebral brain is what stands us apart as humans from other mammals. Over 200,000 years ago
we developed language and in the last 50,000 years a voice box capable of making complex sounds.
This is also the part of our brain where we create a personal identity for ourselves and learn to
communicate by writing.
Part of the cerebral brain is the pre-frontal cortex (PFC) which is considered the seat of higher
functions or executive function. This region is a strong focus in the leadership and team relationships
space, as here sit many of the controlled and conscious processes, such as emotional regulation.

(Neuroleadership: A Journey Through the Brain for Business Leaders by Ghadiri, Habermacher and Peters, 2012 p.25)0
Marilyn Atkinson, Ph.D, R.Psych Art and Science of Coaching Manual, Vancouver, 2001

18 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

WHOLE BRAIN THINKING

Thinking Preferences

Thinking preferences are neither right nor wrong - one is not better than another. It is very useful
to be able to understand the impact that thinking preferences have on how people interact.
Your brain dominance profile gives an indication of how:
• Comfortable you should be in a certain career
• You act towards other people in certain situations
• You do business
• You communicate
• You learn
• You teach
• You solve problems
• You make decisions
Your brain profile may change, but only if there are strong reasons for this to occur. This may occur
over a long period because of changing interests, hobbies, environments and mentors. In rare
cases changes occur in a short time because of traumatic life events or changes but these may
only be temporary.
Where a desire exists, certain quadrants can be developed through creative whole brain exercises.

The Universe of Thinking Styles

19DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

Differences in processing modes
20 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

Whole brain® decision making model
21DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

ThinkAbout™ 21st century leaders
22 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

ThinkAbout™ time management
23DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

ThinkAbout™ getting people on board with change
24 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

Aligning Critical Components in Leadership

A Organisation Organisation D
Upper Left Goals Vision Upper Right

Culture of Culture of T
Results Innovation TR
o
Team Team
Goals Vision

Personal Personal
Goals Vision

Personal Self &
Tasks Others

Team Team
Tasks Relation

Culture of Organisation Organisation Climate Culture
Accountability Tasks & Stakeholder of trust
Relations
Lower Left Lower Left
B C

What do you predict your profile will look like?

RESCUER
I get to feel safe
by saving others

1ST 2ND 3RD
SELF OTHER OBSERVER

Let’s have a look at our HBDI Profiles VICTIM
I get to feel safe
You can download the HBDI App from the AppStore if you would like to access a digital copy by being submissiv
of your profile.

FIXED 2 GROWTH 25DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

mind-set: MIND SETS mind-set:
intelligence intelligence can

Activity:

In discussion with a partner:
1. I have a single, double, triple, quadruple preference:
2. My preference code is:
3. My preference is Cerebral, Limbic, Left, Right or Diagonal:
4. If Diagonal, what is my third preference?
5. My Under-Pressure preference code is:
6. Is there a marked difference between my two preference codes?
7. My Key Descriptor is:

26 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

8. What do I learn from all this?
9. What could I do differently?

27DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

Activity:

Applying WBT to a work situation

In a small group use the space below to plan a whole brain approach to an element of your
current work.

WHAT WHY
Facts, analysis, budget, goals Vision, future, possibilities,
big picture

HOW WHO
Organisation, timelines, details, People, relationships,
risks, procedures networks, teaching

28 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

Day 2 What does a Manager as Coach do?
How is it done?
How does it impact on DEDJTR outcomes?

LEVELS OF LISTENING

Because most of us can hear, we tend to think that listening comes naturally. Whereas hearing
is a sensory process, listening is a skill that requires practice to perfect.

There are many ways to describe the levels at which we can direct our attention while listening.

Recognising which type of listening is appropriate to the context you are in is essential.

Level 7 Focus on Everything
Level 6 Focus on Self
Level 5
Level 4
Level 3
Level 2
Level 1

29DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

Activity:

The Coach as Listener Questionnaire

Before we even begin a coaching conversation, we must be self-aware about how we listen.

Answer these questions to see how effective you think you are. Remember, be ruthlessly honest
with yourself!

Work Home

Always Usually Seldom Never Always Usually Seldom Never

Do you let people finish
what they’re trying to say
before you speak?

If the person hesitates,
do you try to encourage
him/her – rather than
start your reply?

Do you withhold judgment
about the person’s idea
until he/she has finished?

Can you listen fully even
though you think you
know what he/she is
about to say?

Can you listen non-
judgmentally, even if
you don’t like the person
who’s talking?

Do you stop what you
are doing and give full
attention when listening?

Do you give the person
appropriate eye contact,
head nods, and non-
verbals to indicate that
you are listening?

Do you listen fully,
regardless of the speaker’s
manner of speaking
(i.e. tone, grammar, accent,
choice of words)?

Do you question the
person to clarify his/her
ideas more fully?

Do you restate/paraphrase
what’s said and ask if you
got it right?

TOTAL Home: Work:

30 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

THE COACH AS LISTENER QUESTIONNAIRE

Score yourself as follows:
• Never – 1 point
• Seldom – 2 points
• Usually – 3 points
• Always – 4 points
Total your scores by allocating points to each question based on your answer and then write in your
total score below.

Total Score ________________________________

36 – 40 Outstanding listener.
30 – 35 Good listener—put more effort into attention and suspending judgment.
26 – 29 Need work—what pay off would you get from improving?
0 – 25 What could you gain by improving?

Ways to improve your listening skills

Think about the following:
• Do others feel affirmed/validated after speaking to you? Can you tell?
• Do you think about a response before they finish talking to you?
• Do you hear people’s words but not listen to them?
• Do you interrupt them?
• Do you tune out when you hear things that make you uncomfortable or that you don’t like?

How do you feel when you do this?
• How do you feel when others don’t listen to you?
• Ponder on the elements involved in truly listening to others
• Commit yourself to being aware of whether you are listening or not when you converse with others

Activity:

If you could do one thing differently to enhance your listening skills, what would that be?

31DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

EMPOWERED CONVERSATIONS

Empowered conversations draw out people’s potential.

Normal Conversations Empowered Conversations

About me About the other person
I am the expert
I am right The other person is resourceful and wise
My role is to tell you what to do
The other person knows best

My role is to listen and ask questions so you work
out what to do

RESULT: Up to 60% of a person’s potential is not RESULT: Potential gets utilized and people
used and people: are more:
Blame Creative
Judge Valued
Use command and control Responsible
Focus on problems Accountable
Fit in Engaged
Get frustrated Self-aware

Austin Kleon, in his book ‘Steal Like an Artist’ states that

‘It is one of my theories that when people give you advice, they’re really just talking to themselves
in the past. This is me talking to a previous version of myself.’

Activity: Discuss in pairs

Think about a time when someone gave you advice that you really valued.
What was it about the advice and the context that made it valuable for you?

Think about a time when someone gave you advice that you did not value or appreciate.
What was different about this context?

How do you feel when advice you give to others is

• appreciated and acted upon
• ignored

32 Used with permission from Kathy McKenzie, FIREUP™ Coaching

DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

HOW TO GET UNSTUCK – THE ART OF
OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS

When you become skilled at asking excellent, open-ended questions, you may be surprised at how
much information you can gain from others. Open-ended questions are also one of the best ways
to build rapport and keep conversation flowing.

Closed Questions Open Ended Questions

Answers known Multiple answers, plurals
Conclusions fixed Cause people to think ‘beyond’, ‘go further’ and
‘explore deeply’ The other person knows best
Past conclusions Expands toward futures made present now
Leading questions Non- judgmental
Yes or no answers Can scale openness from 1 to 10

From: To:

What is one way? What are some further ways? How might
you begin?
How could we do it? How else might we do it?
How might we get an idea? How might we begin to get some great ideas?
Is there a way? What might be some great ways?
What can we do? How can we get what we really want?
What went wrong What can we learn from this?

Activity:

Let’s think of some questions that will help you deal with staff who are showing signs of being stuck:

Used with permission from Kathy McKenzie, FIREUP™ Coaching

33DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

Discovery 4: Discovery 5: Discovery 2:

New behaviour, thoughts, Trusting relationships that My Strengths - where my
& feelings through help, support and encourage ideal & real self are similar?
experimentation
each step in the process

Discovery 3: Discovery 2:

My Learning Agenda - building o My Gaps - where my

my strengths while reducing gaps Ideal & real self are different

CIRCLES OF CONTROL AND INFLUENCE

Your life doesn’t just ‘happen’. Whether we are aware of it or not, we carefully design our own lives.

Every moment, every situation, provides a new choice. And in doing so, it gives us a perfect
opportunity to do things differently to produce more positive results

The following tool can assist us to become aware of what we can and can’t control, and what we can
influence in our lives.

CIRCLE
OF CONCERN

CIRCLE
OF INFLUENCE

CIRCLE
OF

CONTROL

Ultimately there is only one thing that we can control and that is… ME. We may be able to influence
what is happening around us, however we can only control what we can do, or how we respond in
any situation.

S. Covey, ‘Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ https://www.stephencovey.com/7habits/7habits-habit1.php

34 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

Activity:

Focus and Control

To be effective in our life and our workplace it’s important to understand what can be influenced and
what can be controlled. Often things are beyond our control and yet many of us spend hours worrying
and using valuable energy trying to change others.
When you are coaching individuals or teams who are frustrated, stuck or wasting time and energy
going round and round in circles, use this simple and effective tool to help them understand which are
true priorities, and which are the things that will distract them from their ultimate aim. It’s any easy
way to cut through the clutter.

We are going to use this tool to structure a coaching conversation..

CAN CONTROL CAN’T CONTROL

TRYING

NOT
TRYING

PERSECUTOR
I get to feel safe by hurting
s others and putting them down ASSERTIVE CARING

35DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

THE STRUCTURE OF A COACHING
CONVERSATION

Step In a 30 What and Possible Questions Tips for paying Coaching Tools
Minute Why
Session attention and

1 2 min managing emotions

Connect/ • How have you been? • Be prepared to • SMART goal
Relate listen actively from previous
• What’s going on coaching
Establish for you? • Focus on conversation
connection, building
relationship, rapport
trust
• Be curious

• Reassure
confidentiality

2 5 min (can Topic/Focus • What would be a good • Ask powerful, • Wheel of Life/

sometimes Decide on outcome for you from open-ended Values/Work
take the topic or our conversation in the questions
longer) focus of the next 20 minutes? • Can and
conversation • Allow the Can’t Control
• If you could change one coachee to
thing to make things set the topic • Urgent and
better, what would that or focus for Important
be? the coaching
conversation • Want and
• What would you like to Have

be different? • Always restate

• What would you like to the topic
get better at? positively

• What is challenging you?

1 min Clarify Topic If we could come up with • Use the
a way to build your skills coachee’s
Clearly in for eg managing your vocabulary
restate the team, would that be a
topic or worthwhile outcome? • Paraphrase
focus in the carefully
positive
• Seek
permission to
take notes

36 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

Step In a 30 What and Possible Questions Tips for paying Coaching Tools
Minute Why
Session attention and

3 10 min managing emotions

Explore the • If it was (3 or 6 months • Listen actively – • Open
Topic later), and you had remember the questions
achieved your goal, what coachee should
Expand the would you be doing/ be doing 80% • Perceptual
conversation saying/seeing/feeling of the talking Positions
that is different to now?
Explore the • Use wait time • Wheel
issue • What is it that you really – allow the of Work/
want? coachee time Business/Life
to process
• What is important about • As-If Frame
this change? • Focus on what
the client
• If your best friend asked wants, not what
you how to achieve this he/she doesn’t
for him/herself, what want
advice would you give?
• Avoid leading
• What else could you the client or
be doing to achieve giving advice
this that you are not
currently doing?

• What is stopping you?

4 7 min Action to If there is one thing you could • Use the SMART
take do to start achieving this template to
goal, what might that be? check your
Create action plan
an action How will you know when
plan to you have achieved this?
support the
achievement Is it realistic? Will it give you
of the stated what you want? Can you
goal resource it?

When can you start?

Who can help you?

5 5 min Thank and What are you taking from • Affirm the • Dilts’ Logical
Validate this session that you didn’t coachee in Levels
have when it started? such a way
Ensure the that you
coachee What is important for you demonstrate
leaves the in achieving this goal? belief in his/
coaching her capacity
conversation to achieve the
believing goal that has
that he/she been set
can achieve
the goal that
has been set

37DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

CREATING A SMART ACTION PLAN

Creating a vision, turning it into an action plan and writing it down sets up a structure for
accountability and achievement, otherwise known as success.
1. Create the Vision or Start with the End in Mind
The coaching conversation is the first step in figuring out what you want. If you don’t know what you
want, you don’t know what you need to achieve to get there. As Lewis Carroll says, ‘Any road will get
you there, if you don’t know where you are going.’
2. State it as Specifically as possible
Write your goal and action down. Research by Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at
Dominican University in California, found that you are 42 percent more likely to achieve your goals just
by writing them down.
3. Make it Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and put a Time Frame around it
Take your vision and turn it into a written list of concrete goals
Choose an achievable time frame to accomplish your goals as well as measurable details so you know
exactly when you’ve achieved them.
Make sure to set yourself up for success by creating goals that are realistic and achievable in the
given time-frame.

38 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

SMART ACTION PLAN

Name: __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Date:_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Next Coaching Session:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Goal Statement What am I committing to do?
Be Specific

Measurable How will I know when I have achieved my goal?

Achievable What steps do I need to take to achieve
Actionable this goal?

Realistic Do I have the time, money and energy to do what
Resourced I have committed to do?
Am I in control of this process, or am I fully/
partially dependent on others?
Who can support me?

Time Framed When am I committing to take this action?

39DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

A COACHING FEEDBACK FRAMEWORK

Use this template to help you stay on track with your coaching conversations and to provide feedback
to the coach in your three-way coaching practice sessions.

Coach Conversation – Observer Feedback

Coach:_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Coachee:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Obser ver :_______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Date:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Step Did the Coach Y/N/NA Comments

1 Establish connection,
relationship, trust

2 Set the topic or focus for the
coaching conversation

Clearly restate the topic or
focus in the positive

3 Expand the conversation and
explore the issue

4 Create an action plan to
support the achievement of
the stated goal

Use the SMART template

5 Encourage and affirm the
coachee

The coachee left the
conversation confident that
he/she can achieve what he/
she has agreed to do

Comments:

40 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

THE WHEEL OF WORK
(LIFE, BUSINESS, VALUES)

The Wheel is a wonderful tool because you can relate it to anything. It can be used with staff who are
being coached to determine what are the top priorities to work on.

We often begin with a Wheel of Work - Life to assess where someone is at overall with work-life
balance but there is no limitation to how you use it as a manager-coach.

When you use the Wheel of Life, first make sure you are focusing on what you can control, and always
use a proactive approach. The following example is typical of a work-based wheel.

Always allow staff to include non-work related issues, as these can often be indicators of work-related
issues, and vice-versa.

Always date your wheel. Naming can be optional in workplace situations.

Health Project 1

Project 2
Family
Finances
Project 2

RecSrepaotrito/n Management

41DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

Date: 5
Name: 4
3
2
1

Health Project 1

42 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH Project 2
inances

COACHING QUESTIONS

Explore current reality • What would an independent outsider see as the issue?
Desired future • Where are you now?
• What’s working? What’s not working?
Increase the value of the • Tell me about how you see the situation
pull of the vision/future • What’s the dream?
How to bring something • If you could wave a wand what would you wish for?
into reality • What do you really want?
• What are the possibilities?
Other stakeholders • What other angles can you think of?
• If you could start again what would be different?
Identifying barriers • Is there something you’d like to change?
• If you got what you wanted what would be the difference?
• If we were looking back from 2020 what would be important to have

achieved?
• In the bigger scheme of things what is important?
• If things worked out exactly as you wanted, what would that be like?
• What’s in your control?
• If you could do one thing differently what could it be?
• How will you know that you’ve got what you want?
• What do you get if you try?
• What do you get if you don’t try?
• What resources are needed to move forward?
• What’s being overlooked?
• How can we make this easier?
• What’s the timeline?
• Who else cares about this?
• What or who needs to be acknowledged?
• Where’s the integrity?
• In the bigger scheme of things what important?
• Who benefits?
• What stops you?
• What’s in your control?
• What if you do and what if you don’t?
• What’s in and out of alignment?
• What stops people from caring more about this?

43DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

THE AS-IF FRAME

When dealing with objections the As-If Frame gives you some simple questions that work in almost
any situation. It is very useful for designing capabilities where people believe they can’t do something.
The general As-If format is:
• Let’s suppose that…
• If you were to…?
• If you could…?
• Pretend that…
• Suppose, just for a minute, that you really could…
• If you were me, what would you do…?
• If you could change any part of the operation…?
• Act as if it was 6 months down the road…tell me what has happened…
• It’s now a year from now - what’s different?
• If you had those skills, what would it be like?

The As-If format can be applied to virtually any kind of question:
• If you did know, what might it be?
• Pretend you’re aware of it. What is it?
• Let’s suppose you could tell me. What would you say?
• If you could hear anything, what would you be hearing?
• If you could remember a similar incident, what would it be?
• Let’s suppose for a minute you could say what you should do first. What would that be?

The Miracle questions:
• In a perfect world, what would this/it look like? Sound like? Feel like?
• If you could wave a magic wand, what would you have that you don’t have now?

Activity:

In groups of three, take turns at being manager as coach, staff member to be coached and observer.
Think of something you cannot do wish you could do, or wish you could do better.
Use the As-If questions to support the staff member to take one action, no matter how small, to move
towards achievement in the skill or behaviour in which they wish to grow and develop.

44 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

ASSOCIATION AND DISSOCIATION

Understanding how we associate and dissociate from our emotional state is critical in being a flexible
communicator and coach.

There is a continuum on which we can experience events. At one end, we are totally associated. That

amnedasnesetihnagtaylol tuhaarteisregaolilnygfeoenlinagrUoapulpnletAdrhLeyeofetum-oytoiounasraentdrusleyn‘isnatthioenms oomf tehnete’. xperience, you are hearinDg

Upper Right

etAhmtetohsteiitouonat,htaieonrndeinynodauodaferttheaeocbchoseendrtivmninuaCgunumntRhlet,ereyu,ossariuuelgmhalototrssefstatoantsdailsflyoyuodnuisdswsoecoOriefargttahaeenfdliys.sGaTcootheianonalnstethmaesewOVaiirafsgniyloals.onnYtuisohawuateitoarynreoenuf’etaerreleianelglxylpiatetplreiaeCIonnrrtucnonilontfoguvitra. etioofn

Think about the first time you landed in a foreign city, or Hexepaer rGTitieeo?aanSmlcsmeedllaTVieitss?aieomAnnrseeyoofucruilgtuhrtebsahcokcikn. the
What is your strongest memory? Can you feel it? See it?

place/situation? Chances are, this is an associated memory. If you are seeing it almost as a photo,

chances are it is a dissociated memory. Personal Personal

Goals Vision

Have you ever emotionally withdrawn from a situation, to put distance between you and the situation

you are in? If you have total engagement in the situation, fePeelirnsognaalstroSneglf &emotion, you will be
associated. If you are commenting to yourself about the otherTpasekrsson’Ostbheerhsaviour or other aspects of

the situation, you are probably dissociated.

Have you ever seen anyone totally associated with a malfunctTioeanming pTheoatmocopier? printer? car? ATM?

trying to get onto an overbooked flight? Tasks Relation

What were they doing?

IWnhthaet saeresistuoamteioands,vwahnatatAgiscestchooefCuaanudstlsvtaoaucbnritaiealtigitooeynfotfhtahtewsekinlletoveOarsrwgsaoancnisitTaaatttosieokdnsainssdo&ROdceriSigslaatasattoniekoiecsnfhairsaotoitlomdene??rClimate Culture
of trust

This continuum applies to both mbLaeocwmkeBorarLsieefistf and present-time experience. Some of yboeumr moreemlikoeriesLesoewienCrgLeft
might be quite vivid, taking you you were ‘in’ them again. Others might

something playing back on a screen - lacking emotion and affect.

People can tend to be more habitually associated or dissociated. You may know someone who is RESCUER
over-the-top in feeling and expressing their emotions, or you may know someone who always seems I get to feel saf
somewhat cold, no matter what is going on around them. by saving other

It is useful to be able to alternate between these two states, as each has its useful time and place.

1ST 2ND 3RD
SELF OTHER OBSERVER

45DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

ALIGNING PERCEPTUAL POSITIONS

Activity:

Communication is all about flexibility, and one of the most useful skills in being flexible is to be able to
‘step into someone else’s shoes’. We’ve heard the phrase before, but what does it really mean?
Usually when we say we’re stepping into someone else’s shoes, we’re really standing squarely in our
own shoes, barely peeking at theirs!
The following is a tested and reliable way to really get some insight into what someone else might be
thinking or feeling, and why they might behave in a particular way. To gain a greater understanding
of how someone else may perceive a situation use this process for shifting between positions.
1. Remember a specific time that involved a conflict with one other person. It may be with a family

member or work colleague and needs to be one specific incident of face to face communication.

2. Position 1 - Self Position - First review the situation from your own point of view, looking through
your own eyes and re-experiencing what actually happened. Notice what you heard and felt. Play
the scene as a movie to the end and then rewind it to the beginning of the conflict situation.

3. Study the Other Person - With the movie on pause at the beginning, look over at the other person.
Notice their posture, their facial expressions, the tone and tempo of their voice, the way they are
moving, all the non-verbal information that tells you what this persons experience is really like.
Think about all the different aspects of who this person is, what past experience may impact on
them and everything that contributes to who he or she is.

4. Position 2 - Take the Other Position. Run the Movie from Other Position - Run the same movie of
the conflict situation again, seeing it from their perspective. As the other person, how do you
experience the same conflict situation now? What feelings do you have? What are your wants,
hopes and fears? What do you want and how are you attempting to cope with this difficult
situation? What do you notice about how your own behaviour looks and feels to this person as you
run the movie to the end? What else can you learn about this person’s experience.

5. Return to Self-Position - Allow your awareness to float back to your own body. Take all the time you
need to fully be yourself, leaving all the elements of the other person’s identity there with them.

46 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

6. Position 3 - Take Observer Position - Move out to a position from which you can see and hear both
you and the other person clearly. Make sure the observer position is equidistant and at eye level
with yourself and the other person, not higher or lower.

7. Run a Movie as an Observer - Run the entire movie, watching and listening to the situation
unfold as an observer, as if you were observing these people for the first time. From this neutral
perspective, pay close attention to the interaction between the two. Notice particularly how what
one does stimulates or triggers the other, and vice versa. Learn all you can about this interaction
from the observer position. How do you feel in this position as you observe this interaction?

What was the value for you in this exercise?

47DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

BETWEEN NOW AND DAY 3…..

What will I start doing? What will I stop doing?

What will I do more of? What will I do less of?

If I do this the outcome will be:
for me:

for my team:

for DEDJTR:

As a result of these two days of learning:
On the scale of 0-10, 0 being that I can’t do this at all and 10 being I have nothing more to learn, where
am I in my manager development?
0 5 10
On the scale of 0-10, 0 being that I have no impact at all and 10 being I get everything I ask for, where
am I in my manager impact?
0 5 10

48 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

rsonal
ion

Day 3f&

hers

How does the Manager as Coach manage
emotional responses in the workplace?
am How does it impact on DEDJTR outcomes?
ation NOT

ganisation Climate MANAGING WITH EMOTITORYINNG AL
takeholder INToCEfutlLtruuLrsetIGENCE
ations

Lower Left

KarpmaCn’s Drama Triangle

The Drama Triangle is a model of how we interact with others based on roles we learnt in childhood. It
was developed by Stephen Karpman and describes how people might react in a situation.

RESCUER PERSECUTOR ASSERTIVE
I get to feel safe I get to feel safe by hurting
by saving others others and putting them down

3RD
BSERVER

VICTIM
I get to feel safe
by being submissive

Rescuer:

The rescuer intervenes, seemingly out of a desire to help. The surface motive appears helpful
but the rescuer may enjoy others being dependent on them, and may enjoy being the ‘go to’
or ‘can do’ person.

Victim:

The victim plays the helpless role, trapped by circumstance. Rarely however, are their choices

as limited as they perceive. UNIVERSE

ROWTH Persecutor:

d-set: The persecutor pressures or coerces the victim and is often controlling or dominCanOtMwMhiUchN, ITY
lligence can like the other two roles, is disempowering.
developed
FAMILY
leads to a desire to
n and therefore 49DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH

dency to...

ace
nges

st in the

‘Rescuer’ vs. Rescuer

It is important to distinguish between the rescuer in Karpman’s model vs the real rescuer role
played in an emergency.

In the Drama Triangle the rescuer has a mixed motive or need to have a victim to help in order to feed
their self-esteem. This is best described by Erin Berne’s words – ‘The first group is playing I’m only
trying to help you while the others are actually helping people.’

How To Tell If You Play Persecutor:

• You often order people to do things because you know best, and/or they need to be told
• You are often critical, judgemental and aggressive
• You tend to blame others when something goes wrong
• You complain about others, eg. ‘If only he’d done what I said’ or ‘I knew that would happen’

Common Persecutor Feelings:

• Frustrated
• Angry

How To Tell If You Play Rescuer:

• You think that you can do the job better and that other people are helpless
• You want to help, and on the surface it looks like help, but you do too much for the other person

including things they can and should do themselves, therefore you keep the other person helpless
and dependent
• You hide your own fears and anxieties, which isolates other people who think they are the only
ones who are uncertain, afraid or anxious
• You do unpleasant jobs that you don’t want to do, and don’t need to do, without seeking
other solutions
• You offer to help someone and then find yourself stuck with most of the job
• You do most things in order to make people like or need you

Common Rescuer Feelings:

• Unappreciated
• Taken for granted

How To Tell If You Play Victim:

• You often feel trapped and can’t see any alternatives
• You feel powerless and depend on others to sort things out
• You don’t take responsibility for your own behaviour or situation
• When people try to give you helpful advice you say ‘Yes, but….’ Or ‘I can’t because…’
• You may have a list of mishaps, which you talk about lots but take no action to correct
• You feel there’s no use in trying things because ‘It won’t work anyway’

Common Victim Feelings:

• Helpless
• Hopeless

50 DEDJTR | MANAGER AS COACH


Click to View FlipBook Version