Konosuba Short Story

I really want to go back to the stables and sleep, but they
probably wouldn’t let me.
We approached the source of the voice, and of course, right
there was…
“Just what are you guys doing?”
“Ah, Kazuma. And Aqua and Chris too. I’ve had my hands full
for the past few hours.”
Standing right in the middle of the shopping district is
Darkness, with Megumin curled up on the floor next to her
hugging something close to her chest.
Surrounding them is a small squad of police officers.
“… Give me an explanation.”
“Yes, you see, a series of wonderful, no, I mean unfortunate…
No, no, it’s really wonderful after all! I mean, somehow, an item
that could reduce your luck just by holding it somehow found
its way into Megumin’s possession.”
Saying that, she raised a palm to keep the police officers at bay
while staring down at Megumin curled up at her feet.
“I’m not giving this gem up! I picked it up myself, so I should at
least have ten percent ownership of this item!”
Megumin normally pays no interest in jewelry or gold and the
like, but for some reason, she seems to have taken a liking to
this gem.

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“Enough already, hand it over! You don’t normally care about
gold and money and the like, so why are you so attached to this
thing all of a sudden?”
“This black luster, this red shine, the name Demon Blood, and
the rumours that this item is cursed! There is nothing else more
fitting of a Crimson Demon!”
This idiot!
“You know that is a jewel that brings misfortune to its owner
just by having it! I’ve already had my fill of unfortunate events
today, so please don’t give me any more trouble!”
“That is just a superstition! I’m not so gullible!”
“You idiot, what are you saying!? You are about to be dragged
off by the police, you know!?”
Despite my words, Megumin stubbornly clung onto the gem.
There are just some things that I will never understand about
the Crimson Demons.
“Seriously, why do all of you do nothing but bring trouble onto
me! Just which troublemaking noble ordered this item into
town!?”
“Y-Y-Yeah, what a troublesome matter. Just which noble
brought in this wonderful, I mean, cursed item into this town…”
Darkness averted her gaze for some reason.
“Listen, Megumin, this is your last warning. If you refuse to
return the stone, I’ll have to take it back by force.”

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“Oh? If you think you can do it, you’re free to try! But you best
be prepared for a fierce struggle! Crimson Demons never back
down from a fight… What are you doing, Kazuma? What’s with
those hand movements? Wait a minute, you are doing it too,
Chris?”
I thought of Eris, the goddess that’s said to be the patron of luck
in this world.
“Say, Megumin, there just so happens to be two people who can
use Steal here.”
“Okay, I get it, Kazuma, let’s talk first. We are companions,
aren’t we? Fighting amongst ourselves would be the height of
foolishness.”
Toward her, I offered a prayer from the bottom of my heart.
“What are you doing? What are the two of you doing!? You’re
not serious, are you? We are in the middle of the streets! I get it,
I surrender, so please, wait!”
If my luck is so good, please stop dropping such troublesome
matters into my lap!

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To Become the King of Undead
Chapter 5: Part 1 ↲

TL: Cannongerbil
Editing: Striker
[Note: This story takes place sometime around volume 2, so the status quo is a bit different
from the more recent volumes.]

Lich.
That is a type of being created when a powerful mage performs
a forbidden ritual to turn themselves into an undead creature.
It stands apart from most monsters, and even amongst the
undead, they are considered to be extremely powerful.
They possess an un-aging body that cannot be damaged by non-
magical weapons, and their new body grants them access to
dangerous abilities like Drain Touch in addition to their
command of the arcane arts that they already possessed in life.
Such a powerful creature that wouldn’t seem out of place as the
final boss of some extensive dungeon is currently…
“Hey, Wiz, why is the tea you brew tepid? You know I prefer my
tea piping hot, right!?”
“Sorry, sorry, I’m really sorry, Aqua-sama!”
Bowing in apology to a certain goddess acting like some cliched
mother-in-law.
“Seriously. In this season, liches are really an eyesore to even be
around. Just being close to you makes me feel chilly. Please go
sleep in a grave or something until summer rolls around.”

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“H-How terrible!”

ーThe other day, we took on an exorcism request in place of
Wiz and, after a series of events, ended up with a mansion.
We visited the magic item shop to give our thanks to Wiz for
passing that job onto us, but…
“How long have you been a lich? You can’t even serve a proper
cup of tea. The only good thing about being an undead is your
long life, isn’t it? Just what have you been doing with your life?”
“I’m a fresh and supple undead whose flesh is still completely
intact, so…”
Wiz described herself with words that would better fit a fish or
vegetable sold at the marketplace, and Aqua gave her a
suspicious look.
“Come to think of it, unlike other liches, you still have a fleshy
body. Normally, you would turn into a skeleton the moment
you become a lich, right? So why are you all soft and squishy?”
“I didn’t turn into a lich the normal way. It’s kind of like being a
lich hybrid, so I’ll always be like this.”
“How unfair! That’s really sneaky of you, Wiz! If the public
knows that you can remain forever young looking even after
turning into an undead, the number of housewives who’d want
to become undead will shoot through the roof!”
“T-That won’t happen, Aqua-sama. It’s not easy to become a
lich, and it’s not something just anyone can become…”

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Megumin, Darkness, and I casually sipped our tea as we
watched Aqua question Wiz, seemingly having completely
forgotten the reason why we came here.
“It is a little lukewarm, but this is some delicious tea. It’s
comparable to the tea that Darkness brews. For someone who’s
that clumsy, she strangely is really good at brewing tea.”
“Hey, just what kind of person do you think I am? I can’t tell if
I’m being praised or insulted.”
“This really is good tea. I’ve thought it surprising that Darkness
could brew such good tasting tea too, but to be honest, it’s even
more surprising to find a lich who puts on tea. Do you still need
to eat and drink after becoming undead?”
“You too, Megumin?!”
Just as we were settling into this relaxed atmosphere.
“Pardon me, is Wiz-san present!?”
The doors of the magic item shop suddenly flew open, and the
person who barged in was a very breathless guild receptionist.

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Chapter 5: Part 2 ↲

After catching her breath, Luna explained why she was here.
“ーAn undead monster?”
According to what she said, undead monsters have been spotted
at a cave not too far from Axel.
Dark places like caves and dungeons make for good gathering
spots for naturally occurring undead. Normally, the guild would
just put up a request in the adventurer’s guild, but it seems like
there’s something special about this case.
“Yes, and it’s not a simple undead monster that resulted from a
passing adventurer or traveler. You see, the monster that was
spotted wasn’t a zombie, skeleton or a ghost, but…”
From what she said, a ghoul, a mid-rank undead monster, was
spotted in the caves.
It’s not a creature that should be hanging around a town of
beginners, so she would like someone to investigate the reason
why it’s here.
And, as for why she specifically came to Wiz for that, well…
“I see. It’s way too strong of an undead creature to arise
spontaneously. Thus, it can only be the work of some evil mage
using necromancy to create them. And the only one in this town
who can use such high level spells like necromancy is Wiz! She
must be the culprit! “
“Eeeh!?”

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“Of course not! There’s no way we would suspect Wiz!”
The receptionist bowed deeply in apology to Wiz after Aqua
confidently stated her deduction.
“This quest would actually be quite dangerous. And truth be
told, Aqua isn’t completely baseless. It’s extremely unlikely for
such undead creatures to arise naturally, and the possibility of
some powerful spellcaster pulling the strings can’t be
discounted.”
A creature powerful enough to create mid-rank undead
monsters.
In other words, there could be such a powerful undead monster
present.
“That’s why I want to make this request to Wiz, a powerful
mage and an expert on undead matters.”
“I see… In that case, I’ll accept the quest. Maybe it’s because
there aren’t many adventurers picking quests up in winter, but I
don’t get many customers during this time either.”
That probably isn’t the only reason why nobody visits this store,
but none of us said anything.
Just then,
“Hey, there’s an undead-slaying expert in this town too, you
know? Why are you ignoring me and going straight to Wiz?”
Aqua, who sees undead creatures as her mortal enemy, said
that.

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“Aqua-san, you want to take on this quest too?… Well, yes, if it
were some other quest, I would have some worries, but in this
case, it might be best to have you tag along.”
“Hey, did you just say that you were worried if it was some
other quest?”
Aqua rotated her shoulders menacingly while the guild
receptionist placed a hand on her chin.
Just then, Darkness, who had been watching in silence until
now, got to her feet.
“In that case, I’ll go with you too. Mages would need someone
to serve as a vanguard. Plus, I’m a Crusader. Vanquishing
undead is part of my job.”
“Yes, it is true that Darkness-san’s defense is extremely
reliable.”
Then, Megumin too got to her feet.
“Hmm, so the enemy could be a powerful undead creature. In
that case, the more trump cards we have, the better.
Fortunately, the enemy is living in a cave, not a dungeon. My
spell would be of great help in this case.”
“Megumi-san! Yes, with Darkness-san’s defence, Aqua-san’s
holy magic, Megumin-san’s offensive power and Wiz’s expertise
and mastery of magic…!”
As the receptionist slowly worked herself up, I adopted my most
grandiose posture and got to my feet too.

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“And with the addition of me, this would be the perfect
formation. Don’t worry, leave this to us.”
“… Umm, Satou-san, you’re taking part too?”
Hey.

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Chapter 5: Part 3 ↲

This quest is offering quite a bit of money due to the
expectation of running into strong enemies.
However, Aqua can easily handle any undead creatures that
came our way, and with Wiz tagging along as well, I wasn’t
particularly worried as we made our preparations.
“Everyone, please be careful. In the worst case scenario, there
might be a lich hiding in the caves. Though it’s fairly unlikely
that such a powerful creature would come all the way out here.”
The guild lady, who came to see us off at the gates, said.
The rest of us turned to stare at Wiz.
“Y-Yeah, there’s no way a lich would set up camp in such a
remote place…”
Wiz muttered under her breath after meeting our gaze, though
it doesn’t seem like the guild lady took any notice of it.
“There aren’t very many records of what a lich can do, but
according to legend, a lich is a dangerous creature that can rob
the surrounding land of life and poison the waters just by being
there. There haven’t been any such signs around the cave, so it’s
unlikely for there to be a lich present.”
“Y-Yeah…”
Wiz seems to grow increasingly awkward after being told that
she was a dangerous creature right to her face.

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“Oh, I didn’t know that a lich could poison waters. It might as
well be challenging me directly.”
“T-That’s not it, Aqua-sama! That’s just a rumour! I’m sure it’s
a badly garbled version of the Drain Touch skill!”
Wiz frantically explained, and the guild lady gave her a look of
admiration.
“Wiz-san, are you familiar with liches? We don’t have much
solid information on liches, so if you are familiar with them,
please tell us everything you know after the quest is over…”
“Eh, well, I suppose I do know quite a bit about liches. After all,
I’m a fairly accomplished adventurer. Now, let’s hurry up and
set off. If we wait any longer, night will fall and the undead will
get a strength buff!”
We waved goodbye to the guild lady as Wiz practically forced us
out the gates.

“ーHey, Wiz, they said that there is a chance that it could be a
lich, but it really isn’t you, right? If you are keeping some stray
undead behind my back, you best come clean right now. If you
do so, I’ll purify you painlessly.”
“It really isn’t me, Aqua-sama! And I still think like a human, so
there’s no way I would keep some stray undead as a pet!”
“The best way to be sure is to purify Wiz right now. If undead
continue popping up after Wiz has successfully gone on to
heaven, that means that she definitely isn’t the culprit.”

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“Wait, Aqua-sama, that would kill me!”
Aqua and Wiz argued as we made our way towards the cave.
Why does she have such a chip on her shoulder when it comes
to the undead?
“Still, the undead creature that was spotted was a ghoul, right?
That means it might really be an undead creature on the same
level as a lich that is behind all of this.”
Megumin, walking next to me, said.
“I’ve heard the name before, but how strong are ghouls,
exactly?”
In response to my question, Darkness, who had a silver mace on
her hip instead of her greatsword, said.
“Ghouls are troublesome humanoid undead creatures capable
of agile movements and producing paralyzing poisons. Just one
of them would be troublesome to deal with, but they often come
in packs. Because they feed on carrion to live, they frequently
make their nests in graveyards and other places not too far from
human civilization where such meat is plentiful.”
From what I’ve heard, those aren’t monsters that we, who still
struggle against weak monsters like giant frogs, should be
taking on…
“I can take out ghouls in a snap. Even if they come at us in large
numbers, I can just take all of them out with a large area
purifying spell, so don’t worry!”

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“U-Um, Aqua-sama? I’m an undead too, so please don’t catch
me in the blast along with them. If need be, I’ll handle all of
them myself, so…!”
Right, we have the strongest undead, a lich, and a goddess with
us.
Between the two of them, there shouldn’t be anything to worry
aboutー

ーI was a fool to even think that for a moment.
“Waaaaaah! Kazuma-san! Kazuma-san!”
“You idiot, why do you always run towards me whenever you
run into the slightest bit of trouble!? Hurry up and take care of
them already! If you can’t, then run the other way!”
“But ghouls are really scary when you look at them up close!
They were eating something that will definitely give me
nightmares!”
When we arrived at the cave in question, we first stealthy
approached to scout out the area, and found several ghouls
swarming over something.
Aqua happily went out to purify them, completely ignoring my
words of caution, but…
“Aqua, don’t come closer to me! You’ll lead those ghouls that
were eating unspeakable things towards me!”

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“Aqua, run towards me! I’ll take all of their attacks with my
body… Ah, why are they all ignoring me!?”
After seeing the ghouls feasting on something eerily humanlike,
we descended into panic.
Leaving aside their prowess at fighting undead, Aqua and
Megumin seem to have a really weak stomach when it comes to
blood and gore.
“Cursed Crystal Prison!”
Wiz’s dignified voice echoed through the cave, and the ghouls
that were chasing after Aqua were frozen into a solid block of
ice that then shattered into a million pieces.
“Aqua-sama, it’s okay now. I’ve taken care of the ghoulsー”
“Waaaaah!”
Aqua tearfully jumped into Wiz’s bosom. It seems that seeing
whatever the ghouls were eating really traumatized her.
Wiz seemed momentarily taken aback, but she quickly
recovered and started slowly stroking Aqua’s hair like she
would comfort a crying child.
“It’s fine now, so there’s no need to cry, Aqua-sama… Aqua-
sama? U-Um, the parts you’re holding onto is getting hotter
somehow, Aqua-sama!? Your tears really hurt, so please stop
crying, Aqua-sama!”

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Chapter 5: Part 4 ↲

After prying Aqua off Wiz who was starting to become
transparent, I approached the human like pile of meat the
ghouls were feasting on with the intent on giving it a proper
burial.
“Ah, it wasn’t a human. Hey, Aqua, it seems like the ghouls
were snacking on a goblin.”
“… Considering how cowardly you normally are, I’m surprised
you have the stomach to investigate such a horrible scene.”
“Any experienced adventurer will eventually pick up the skill
‘Guro resistance’.”
To be specific, it’s a skill that any serious NEET will learn even
if they aren’t an adventurer.
It isn’t unusual to run into some suspicious pictures after being
lured in by the promise of porn.
And that’s how children become adults.
After Wiz incinerated the corpse of the goblin, we finally
ventured into the cave proper.
Those ghouls must have been all of it, because we didn’t run
into any other undead monsters.
The cave itself wasn’t too deep, and standing at the far end,
cloaked in shadows, was a single man.
He had pale white skin, much like Wiz, and blood red eyes
poked out from between his short cropped blonde hair.

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“Kukuku, you probably accepted a quest to take out a high
ranked undead, but you must really be unlucky to come all the
way out here, newbie adventurers.”
He gave us a smile much like that a carnivore might give after
sighting its prey, revealing a set of sharp fangs.
ーVampire.
It’s an extremely powerful undead monster, much like a lich.
If asked “Which undead creature is the king of undead”, about
half the answers would probably be `vampire’.
Such a strong creature shouldn’t be anywhere near the town of
beginners, but…
“There he is! See, Aqua-sama, there he is! That’s the undead
that’s responsible for creating the Ghouls! Now you can be
certain I’m not behind this, right!?”
“Y-Yeah. W-Well, it’s not like I really suspected you in the first
place, but I guess I should apologize. Sorry!”
Wiz happily pointed at the vampire, completely destroying the
boss like image that the vampire was trying to project.
This must be the first time the vampire received this kind of
treatment, he seemed completely taken aback and his mouth
flapped open and close like a goldfish.
“Darkness, look, that’s a vampire. A vampire. Though, I really
hate how they taint the value of red eyes.”

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“If you put it that way, then I also dislike him for tainting the
value of blonde hair.”
As Megumin and Darkness whispered to each other, the
vampire’s eyes flashed red and he snarled.
“How dare you fledging chicks treat me like this! I am a
vampire! The strongest undead creature and a supreme being,
Wolfgang Claud! Get down on your knees and beg for your
life!!”
After haughtily declaring such a thing, he looked directly at Wiz
who was still pointing at him…
“…Hmm? Why isn’t my hypnotic gaze working? Did you bring
some powerful protective charm with you?”
He must have tried some kind of attack, but it doesn’t seem to
have worked.
“Um, I’m a lich, so status effects won’t work on me.”
“Lich? L-Lich, you say!?”
Wolfgang ‘s eyes widened after hearing what Wiz said.
After a short pause, he shook his head in an exasperated
manner.
“Humph. While liches are pitiful beings far beneath an
exquisite vampire like myself, they are still skeletal creatures
capable of wielding quite a bit of power. It’s not something that
an airheaded girl like you should claim to be.”
“W-What did you say!?”

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As Wiz worked herself into a huff, I surreptitiously moved
closer to Aqua.
“Hey, I’m not sure of the specifics, but vampires are really
strong, right? Can you take him on?”
“Just who do you think I am? Just a single blow from my fist
would be enough to vanquish a vampire. But let’s leave this to
Wiz. It’s well known that liches and vampires don’t get along. It
doesn’t seem like he is a particularly powerful vampire either,
so let’s just watch.”
Aqua said, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
“I can’t overlook a narcissistic vampire calling liches pitiful
beings! And what’s that about liches being far beneath that of a
vampire!? The only thing vampires have going for them is
gaining a bit more power and being hard to kill, otherwise
they’re just riddled with weaknesses!”
“How dare you compare me to the likes of liches! How dare a
mere human like you insult the king of undead, the vampire!
Lightning!”
Wolfgang extended his finger and fired a bolt of lightning at
Wiz, but it vanished into nothingness an instant before it
impacted.
Wiz adopted a triumphant, warlike smile, a stark contrast to her
usual genial demeanour.
“Ufufufu, a sneak attack? As expected of the exquisite vampire.
However, unlike the self-proclaimed king of undead, we liches

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have far higher magic resistance than you vampires. There’s no
way such a low leveled spell would’ve worked on me.”
“Y-You, are you really a lich!? How annoying! How infuriating
for mere upstarts who achieved undeath through the
application of magic to be considered on the same level as us
vampires!”
“We Liches achieved immortality under our own power after
pushing the laws of magic to their limits! We are not to be
compared to you parasitic undead who gained immortality by
merely licking your liege’s boots!”
“You dare!?”
“What? You wanna go!? Just so you know, I could’ve defeated a
vampire like you even back when I was still a human!”
Just when I thought the two of them would really go at it.
“Now, now, hold on a moment, you two. Let’s listen to his story
first.”
Aqua, who’s clearly enjoying this, interjected with a smile.

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Chapter 5: Part 5 ↲

“So, basically, you’re a former noble and newly-turned vampire
who’s set up a base near the town of beginners far away from
any strong adventurers in order to build up your power, right?”
“Precisely, vulgar human. If you let me suck your blood
willingly right now, I will let you become my underling.
Though, if your body isn’t pure enough, you’ll end up turning
into a ghoul!”
Normally, when a vampire sucks your blood, you become a
ghoul.
However, if someone with a pure body who has never
performed sexual acts before has their blood sucked, they
would become a lower vampire.
“I’m still pure, so I can become a vampire.”
“Your eyes look just like that of an undead, so I’m surprised you
could say that, brat.”
Are you saying I have dead eyes, you damn undead!?
“Of course, I’m pure in both body and spirit, but I have no
intention of becoming a vampire.”
“I’m obviously pure too, but I have pride in being a Crimson
Demon, so I’ll have to decline.”
“I-I-I should be p-pure too, .. so I shouldn’t become a ghoul… I
think.”

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Why is she so uncertain? I kind of want to ask her exactly what
she gets up to at night.
“I see. In other words, you’re an evil undead, right? Well,
personally, good undead and evil undead should all be
purified.”
“Hmph. What are you saying? There’s no way such a strange
being as a non-evil undead could exist in this world.”
Wolfgang let out a snort like Aqua just stated that the sky is
green, letting his fangs stick out from his mouth.
In stark contrast, Wiz enthusiastically raised her hand.
“Here, Aqua-sama! I’m not just a virtuous undead, I’m a very
virtuous undead! After all, I’m always preparing and serving hot
tea to you!”
“You dare lower your head to a fledgling human priest? Have
you lost your pride as an undead? Humans should be but mere
servants, forever beneath us! Seriously, a subservient lich!?”
Wiz turned towards Aqua after hearing those words.
“Aqua-Sama. Aqua-Sama, did you hear that? Vampires are
pretty much all like that. Despite being formerly humans
themselves, they treat their human past as a black history and
seal them away. Then, they constantly sing praises of
themselves as being a superior existence and hold no one but
themselves in their eyes. Yes, they are a race of narcissists with
inflated egos. Such an annoying species should be
exterminated, right?”

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“Hey, I can hear you, you upstart! We vampires turn ourselves
into undead in order to achieve the perfection of existence! We
are not like you, liches who turn themselves into undead just so
they can shut themselves off in creepy basements to research
magic forever!”
“Only a small portion of liches become undead in order to
further their research! There are plenty of people who became a
lich in order to protect their loved ones or their companions!”
Just where did the gentle and calm Wiz go?
“You sure are impudent to talk to a noble like this! Very well,
let’s settle once and for all just which one of us is more
powerful! Let’s decide who is the true king of undead here!”
“Very well, I’ll take you on! A vampire who can’t even go out in
daylight has no right to put themselves on the same level of a
lich! I’ll show you right now that liches are the true kings of
undead!”
And, the battle between the two high ranking undead suddenly
started.
The two of them started chanting spellsー!
“Turn undead!”
“Aaaaah!” x2
The one who can never read the mood suddenly shot a blast of
purification magic from the side.
The two of them rolled around on the floor, smoke coming out
from their bodies as they screamed in pain.

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“Now, hold on one moment. What do you think you guys are
doing without asking for my permission first?”
Wolfgang, clutching at his arm which has completely turned to
ash, said.
“W-Wait, let’s talk first. What are you doing all of a sudden,
human girl? This is a battle between undead! How boorish do
you have to be to interfere? …Actually, are you really a human?
If I wasn’t in the process of bolstering my power to deal with
this lich, I would’ve completely turned to ash…”
Wiz, seeming slightly translucent, shakily got to her feet.
“Uuu, How horrible, Aqua-sama… I saw Beldia beckoning to me
from the other side of the river….”
“If you say priest, you think of the undead. If you talk about
undead, you have to talk to me. Indeed, if you are trying to
decide the king of undead, the opinion of me, the priest
amongst priests and the best undead killer in the world, is
surely very important, yes?”
Aqua, a confident smile on her face, said something completely
incomprehensible.

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Chapter 5: Part 6 ↲

Having moved towards the entrance of the cave at Aqua’s
instructions, we are currently watching over the two undead
who are much less lively than before.
Actually, they are clearly afraid of what Aqua intends for them
next.
Wolfgang probably never expected that he would be nearly
killed by a single blast of turn undead.
“Now then, let’s have the match to find out which of you is truly
the king of undead. As for why I’m doing this, well, it’s amusing
to watch. Anyway, first up, Megumin.”
“Yes?”
Megumin seemed slightly startled from being called out all of a
sudden.
“Liches and vampires have strong magic resistance and physical
endurance. So, to determine which is stronger, let’s have the
both of you take a shot from Megumin’s Explosiー”
The two undead creatures made a run for it before Aqua could
finish her sentence.

ーBecause it’s still light out, Wolfgang couldn’t run out into the
open, so instead he ran back into the cave…
“Okay, okay, I get it! I won’t ever name myself the king of
undead again, so please let me go!”

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“Ugh… He might be an undead creature, but it’s still hard to see
him beg for mercy like this…”
“You can’t be soft like that, Darkness. He is a vampire. On top
of that, he was trying to build a base of power here. He would’ve
definitely caused harm to the citizens in town. If you are going
to abandon the match, then I’ll purify you right now.”
“What are you saying!? Stop saying ridiculous things! There’s
no way there exists an undead creature that can withstand
Explosion!”
The vampire, who was supposed to be a contender for the title
of king of undead, was dragged back to the entrance of the cave
by Darkness’s hands.
Andー
“Aqua-sama, it’s just as the vampire said! Even for a lich,
there’s no way I can take a shot from an Explosion head on! I
will disappear! How about a different contest! Umm, liches and
vampires can both use Drain Touch, so what about a sucking
contest instead!?”
“Ah, yes, that! Yes, that’s definitely more fitting for a match
between undead!”
Wiz, being dragged along by Aqua, hastily proposed a different
plan, and Wolfgang agreed.
“Eh? But Megumin is already raring to go.”
Looking outside, Megumin was indeed twirling her staff around
while her eyes glowed bright red.

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Well, being able to take out two high leveled undead at the
same time would be worth quite a lot of experience.
It seems like she cares more about her experience points than
Wiz’s safety.
“Hey, Aqua, at the end of the day, Wiz did teach me hers skill
and helped us quite a bit, so maybe we can find a less lethal
game for them? The Drain Touch contest sounds pretty good!”
“Yes, well said, dead eyed kid! If you want, I can turn you into a
proper vampire! I said I couldn’t see you as a pure being earlier,
but now that I look closely, I can say you have the face that
wouldn’t have allowed you to do any impure things! I’m sure
you’ll become a vampire!”
“Hey, do you want to take a bath in the light of the sun?”

↲

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Chapter 5: Part 7 ↲

A faint light shone from within the cave.
That is the glow produced from the Drain Touch that the two
powerful undead were using.
Unlike the degraded version that I use, the version they are
using is powerful enough that I could see the flow of mana with
my naked eye.
“Oho, you two aren’t too bad. I can feel my mana being
siphoned away.”
Standing between the two of them with a placid expression is
Aqua, who was the target of both their efforts.
“Human girl, we’ve siphoned away quite a lot of mana already,
but are you alright? Originally, the plan was supposed to use
Drain Touch on each other until one or the other dried out.”
Wolfgang asked with a concerned tone as he continued using
Drain Touch.
“Y-Yeah, even if it is you, Aqua-sama, it would still be pretty
tough to take on both our Drain Touches at the same time…”
Similarly, Wiz seemed quite concerned, too.
But Aqua simply replied with a casual smile.
“Oh, are the two of you worried about me?”
Wolfgang snorted in response.

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“… Hmph, why would I have any reason to worry about the
well-being of a human priest? It would simply be hard to tell
who is the victor if the target were to be drained dry before the
contest is decided.”
“Unlike that twisted vampire over there, I’m genuinely
concerned about you, Aqua-sama… Still, you really seem fine.
As expected of Aqua-sama…”
Wiz suddenly trailed off.
Illuminated by the pale blue light, I noticed that Wiz seems
much paler than before, and also that the edges of her have
started to become transparent.
Wolfgang then muttered,
“… I’ve been feeling a bit numb for a while. Actually, this might
be a little late, but how are we supposed to determine the
winner? If we both do it at the same time, it won’t be possible to
tell whose Drain Touch was more effective.”
“Now that you mention it, we did start the contest on your
instructions, but exactly how much mana should we drain?
Umm, Aqua-sama, maybe it would really be best for us to use
Drain Touch on each other instead…”
Just then,
Aqua, who had been passively letting the two of them siphon
her mana, suddenly grabbed their hands.
Almost as if she’s saying that she won’t let them stop halfway.

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“Um, Aqua-sama? Why are you grabbing my hand like that?
There’s no way I would run away even if you didn’t do that.
Though, actually, I’ve been feeling a little unwell for a while
now. Could it have been from that Turn Undead…?”
“You’re feeling unwell too? I’ve been getting a headache for a
while now, and my body has been feeling uncomfortably hot. It
reminds me of the time I got food poisoning back when I was
still alive…”
After hearing those words, I suddenly understood what Aqua’s
aim was.
“Say, Aqua, you don’t care about the match at all, do you? You
just want to vanquish the undead.”
“!?”
At those words, the two of them suddenly jumped back in shock
and fear.
“Damn, alright, I give up! The lich can be the king of undead for
all I care… Hey, let go of me! Wait, I can’t stop the flow of
mana! Hey, that’s enough! I said that’s enough! I feel like I want
to vomit!”
“Aqua-sama, why aren’t you letting me go!? It’ll be really bad at
this rate! Aqua-sama!?”
Aqua smiled upon seeing the two undead struggle.
“You asked me how we should decide the winner earlier, didn’t
you?”

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As she said that, the mana getting sent into Wolfgang and Wiz
suddenly increased.
“I don’t care about the match anymore! Just let go! … What is
happening!? Why can’t I break her grip with my vampiric
strength?!”
“Aqua-sama, I’ll disappear! I’m vanishing! At this rate I’ll really
vanish!”
In response to those screams, Aqua replied in a tone of voice
that sounded like she was truly enjoying herself.
“Ahahaha! Now, let’s decide which one of you is truly the king
of undead! Show me which one of you can withstand my holy
mana the longest! Mere vampiric strength won’t be able to
break my grip! After all, on top of my naturally high strength, I
also boosted it with my powerful buff spells!”
“Hey, Darkness, Megumin, stop Aqua! Wiz will really vanish at
this rate!”
“Hey, Aqua, let go! Don’t take advantage of this situation to
purify Wiz too!”
“Damn-Aqua is much stronger than usual today! Is it’s because
she’s dealing with the Undead?”
The two of them who were stuck in Aqua’s death grip,
screamed.
“I get it! I’m sorry! I swear I’ll never harm humans or drink
blood again! I’ll become a vegetarian vampire from now on!”

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“Aqua-sama! I still have things I need to do! Please, wait, Aqua-
sama!”
Aqua, rebuffing all our attempts to get her to loosen her grip, let
out a maniacal laugh.
“Wahahahaha! As long as my eyes shine pure blue, I’ll never let
a king of undead get away!”
On that day, the vampire that was targeting the town of Axel
was purified.
And Wiz’s magic item shop was closed for a week.

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Demon King’s Generals are Busy Creatures
Chapter 6: Part 1 ↲

TL: Cannongerbil
Editing: Striker
[Note: This story takes place sometime around the end of volume 4, so the status quo is a
bit different from the more recent volumes.]

After defeating the Demon King’s general, Vanir, I cleared off
all of our debts and now spend my days leisurely lounging
about.
Megumin and Darkness usually pester me about working, but
they headed off somewhere else early this morning.
Thus, I was lying in front of the fireplace, watching the flames
dance in a daze…
“You know, Kazuma, I think the people of this town are really
lacking when it comes to their sense of danger. I think we
should let everyone know exactly what kind of danger this town
is in right now.”
Aqua interrupted me, shoving me aside so she could wriggle
herself into the warmest spot in front of the fireplace.
“Aqua, it’s getting squeezy down here, so stop trying to push
yourself in. Today is my turn to bask in this spot.”
“The smart and gracious goddess is shivering in the cold, you
know? Move over to your left a little, you shitty NEET.”
Having monopolized all the space in front of the fireplace, Aqua
suddenly gave me a serious look.

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“Kazuma, there are currently two demon king’s generals in this
town.”
“Are you talking about Wiz and the former general Vanir? Pray
tell, what about them?”
Aqua threw a fresh log into the fireplace, before letting out an
exasperated sigh.
“Saying stuff like that is why you die at the drop of a hat. How
many times has it happened already? What, did you convert
into a follower of Eris and won’t be happy until you see her
every time you go out?”
It’s true that I died many times, but hearing it from her makes
my blood boil.
“I’m not dying because I enjoy it. Just where are you going with
this?”
Aqua puffed out her chest like she was waiting for this exact
line.
“Surveillance! We should put that masked devil under
surveillance! Don’t you think it’s suspicious how that devil is
more popular in this town than me, who’s lived here for quite
some time? I’ve heard that he’s been really popular amongst the
kids as of late.”
“Isn’t that just because they think his mask is cool? Children
have a thing for masks.”
However, Aqua simply shook her head.

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“I thought that was the case, so I made myself a mask that
resembled an ogre king, but the children just started bawling
and throwing stones at me.”
“Don’t whine because some kid didn’t like your mask… So, what
exactly do you plan on doing? Even if he was involved in
something shady, I’m not getting involved. He’s really strong
when he gets serious. I’ll die to a single hit of his ‘Vanir-style
Death Ray’ or whatever he calls it.”
In response, Aqua gave me a confident smile.
“Oh, how foolish, Kazuma. That’s why I’m here. Just what do
you think I am? I’m a goddess, the natural enemy of devils. As
long as I find proof of his wrong doings, I can attack him in
town without the police getting mad!”
“You didn’t actually attack him in town, did you?”
Ignoring my question, Aqua suddenly stood up.
“… It’s still too cold. Maybe we’ll start after burning down this
piece of firewood.”
“It’ll still be cold outside. Why not wait ‘till a warm summer’s
day before doing this?”
She quickly sat back down and joined me in watching the flame
dance in the fireplace.

↲

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Chapter 6: Part 2 ↲

“Explosion!!”

A loud boom echoed across the plains close to Axel, and
Megumin collapsed to the ground with a satisfied look on her
face.

“Haaah~… I think today’s Explosion should be worth at least
ninety points. Look at the debris thrown up by the explosion,
floating in the crisp and clear air. If I had to put it into words,
it’d be like seeing a rainbow sprout after a heavy downpour, a
rare moment of transient beauty…”

Megumin muttered.

“Yeah, yeah, it sure is beautiful. Today’s Explosion is surely
worth quite a lot of points. Here, I’ll carry you, so hurry up and
roll over already.”

Megumin rolled over in a practiced manner, making me think
that perhaps I should start looking into a better way of carrying
her.

“… What’s the matter? You look like you are thinking of
something complicated. It’s fine to lift me up.”

“No, I’m just thinking if there’s an easier way to carry you
around. Maybe I can talk to that construction chief and get a
wheelbarrow built or something. No, wait, it’ll be too unstable,
and if I’m building a wheelbarrow I might as well get a baby
stroller or something…”

“Hey, stop saying creepy things! What even is a baby stroller!?
It doesn’t sound like anything good!”

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Megumin angrily protested, but it sounded like a pretty
workable idea to me, so I ignored her.
Yeah, it’ll probably work.
And if I make it sturdy enough, I can ram straight through any
monsters we happen to run across on the way back while
Megumin is strapped in. It might end up being a potent weapon
in its own right…
“Kazuma, if you stay silent like that, it just makes me even more
uneasy! Come on, carrying me isn’t all that bad, right? You get
to be in close contact with a girl!”
“Yeah, but your body is hard in all the wrong places. If I have to,
I’d rather carry a more curvy girl.”
“This man!”
Just as Megumin and I were arguing,
“Fuahahahaha! You seem to be in quite a spot of trouble, young
man who despite saying that secretly looks forward to carrying
her back home every day!”
“Where did you come from!? What are you saying!? W-Who is
secretly looking forward to this!?”
I don’t know where he was hiding, but Vanir suddenly appeared
out of nowhere with a hearty laugh.
He isn’t stalking us, is he?

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“There’s no need to pay it much heed, there’s nothing wrong
with being true to yourself. After all, Moi is here to partake in
the delicious feelings of embarrassment that you produce.”
… Maybe I should sic Aqua on him after all.
“Uhm, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but could you
please pick me up now? It’s really cold lying on the ground.”
Megumin said, raising both hands into the air.
“Oh, fine, I’ll carry you today, but I’ll get a wheelbarrow for
tomorrow onwards. I don’t particularly enjoy carrying you.”
“I wouldn’t really want you to carry me around town like I’m a
piece of luggage… Vanir, what’s the matter? Or rather, what are
you holding in your hand?
At Megumin’s words, I too noticed that Vanir has something at
hand.
“Well, this is why Moi came out here to speak with you.
Carrying her on your back is tiresome, but you still want to
enjoy the embrace and warmth of a developing girl. What Moi
has here is the perfect product for your needs. So, how about
it?”
“Hey, stop saying that. Every time you bring such things up, it
becomes harder to meet the gazes of my party members… So,
what is it?”
Vanir produced some kind of strap from his hand.
“It’s a back-mounted baby carrier.”

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“Kazuma, don’t buy that! I don’t want to be carried around in a
baby carrier at this age! You can go with the wheelbarrow
instead! … Why are you opening your wallet!? Kazuma?
Kazuma!?”

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↲

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Chapter 6: Part 3 ↲

It’s been three days since I bought that convenient item from
Vanir, and also three days since Megumin stopped talking to
me.
“ーThere he is. Look, Kazuma, that devil is hitting on a girl.”
“You mean a housewife. And what do you mean by ‘hitting on’,
they look like they are just having a conversation. Besides,
hitting on a girl isn’t exactly a crime.”
Right now, I’m observing Vanir together with Aqua.
As for why we waited so long, well, there were issues with the
weather and me spending my nights out, and various other
difficulties that ended up with a few delays.
Megumin went off together with Darkness to fulfill her daily
routine, so the only person available to play with Aqua was me.
Aqua, her head poking out from behind the corner, said.
“Oh, Kazuma, you fool. It’s a common devil’s trick to lure in
unsuspecting folks with sweet sounding words only to
brainwash them later on.”
“That sounds exactly like what your followers do.”
The small group of middle-aged women engaging in a
conversation with Vanir seemed to be getting along well and
occasionally broke out into laughter.
From the looks of things, I think Vanir has hit it off with the
townsfolk even better than Aqua did.

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“Hey, Kazuma, something is odd. That fruit-seller lady is
smiling way too much. Every time I visit her store, she always
gives me the stink eye.”
“That’s because you always haggle with her over prices. Oh, it
seems like he’s going somewhere.”
After a long chat, Vanir bid farewell to the housewives and
headed off towards the shopping district.
We followed after himー

“ーBehold, the wondrous Vanir doll! If you put this in your
room, you will have nothing to fear from ghosts! If you buy it
now, I’ll throw in a special offer to make its eyes glow and laugh
in the middle of the night!”
Vanir set up a stall in the middle of the crowded street and
started hawking his wares.
Arrayed on the mat in front of him was a large variety of the
strange dolls that we fought against before.
“… Uhm, does it really drive away ghosts?”
A young girl nervously approached that store.
“Well, it’ll definitely work better than those dubious charms
sold at the Eris shrine. Though, there is a risk of it being stolen
by fad-chasing minor devils if you place it by the window.”

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“I’ll take one! Aaah, with this, I will be able to rest easy at night!
My damn mother-in-law comes to visit me even after she’s died,
spending every night making a ruckus on top of my bed! I’ll
show her!”
Aqua and I observed the girl say such disturbing words while
hidden behind a sign a short distance away.
“… Hey, that girl seems to be having some trouble with ghosts.
Isn’t that supposed to be your job? Why is a devil filling in for
you?”
“What are you saying? There is a good reason for that. That
woman’s mother-in-law wants to apologize after reflecting on
her past life. That’s why she’s dancing a song of apology each
night on her bed. I wanted to exorcise her, but I stayed my hand
after hearing her reasons.”
I feel like that ghost just wants to keep an eye on her.
“Still, I’m surprised something like that can sell. Maybe I
should start making some Aqua dolls, too. With the power of
the goddess of water, I can make them produce clean water
whenever there’s a clear dawn. Don’t you think it’ll be popular
with children?”
“The children who take that doll to sleep with them will end up
with a minor catastrophe. I feel like they’ll all get scolded after
their parents mistake them for wetting their beds.”
As we talked, the dolls quickly got sold out, until eventually the
only thing left was an empty mat.
After folding up the mat, Vanir got to his feet and leisurely
wandered off.

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Aqua and I hurriedly got up to follow…
When Vanir’s head suddenly snapped a hundred and eighty
degrees around to look directly at us.

“ーThat’s scary! I’m sorry for following you, but couldn’t you
inform us in a less scary way!?”
“Yeah! A passing child even started crying! You should
apologize to that child and me! Not that I’m scared or anything,
but you should still apologize to me! I really wasn’t scared!”
After getting startled by Vanir’s actions, we were currently
chewing the devil out.
“You were the ones stalking me in the first place, so how
unreasonable can you become? Stalker goddess and cowardly
brat, just what business do you have with me?”
“Errr, well, I’m a little concerned if you are getting along well in
this townー”
“I was keeping an eye on you so you don’t do any wicked acts.”
Aqua immediately spilled the beans while I was still fumbling
over my words.
“Telling a devil like me not to perform any wicked acts is like
rebelling against the very core of my being, but worry not. Moi
has matters to attend to in this town, so Moi would not do
anything untoward. Anyway, thanks to a certain incompetent
shopkeeper, finances are a little tight this month. Some part-

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time work would be necessary, or the store might be seized by
the end of it.”
I don’t think I expected to see a general of the Demon King’s
army run about trying to earn money to pay rent when I came
to this world, but here we are.
“Only a fool would take a devil at his word. If you aren’t up to
anything suspicious, then there’s no problem with us following
you, right?”
Vanir’s mouth twisted into a truly ugly grimace upon hearing
Aqua’s words.
“Just knowing that you’ll be following me gives me a really bad
feeling… But, fine, as long as you don’t get in my way, you can
do whatever you want.”
Saying that, he waved his hand and walked awayー

“ーWelcome, welcome, fresh potatoes for sale! Jumping and
dancing potatoes! Freshly picked and lively potatoes for sale!”
“Tonight’s recommended side dish are these hourai carrots
packed full of nutrients! You can fight with them, eat them, or
sleep with them! How about some sexy-looking hourai
carrots!?”
How did this happen?
Right now, Vanir and Aqua are manning the green grocer’s
store, loudly hawking their wares.

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“Hey, bargain woman, stop getting in the way of my job! The
more carrots that are sold, the more money this job pays. Moi
does not know why you decided to pick up a part-time job all of
a sudden, but go somewhere else with your bothersome
display!”
“Hey, don’t call me ‘bargain woman’. That makes me sound like
some kind of product to be sold! I couldn’t help it. Seeing you
trying to attract customers reminded me of my time as a part-
time worker, and somehow I felt that I just can’t lose to you…”
Perhaps because she knew the store owner, when she saw Vanir
hard at work, Aqua started grumbling about getting a job too,
and is now doing the same right next to the devil.
“Don’t get in the way of my business just because of some
puffed up pride! … Oh, adventurer on the road over there, I see
hardship in front of you! But if you buy this carrot, you’ll be
blessed with good fortune. If you keep it in your bag, it will
jump out and act as a decoy while you are hard pressed in a
battle with monsters!”
“If that’s the case I recommend you buy one of my potatoes!
Potatoes have high attack power, so if you use it well, it can
even serve as a vanguard, not just a decoy!”
If you are going to sell vegetables, sell them as ingredients.
Once again, I was reminded of the incongruity of this world.
Soon enough, the vegetables that they had sold out.
“Seems like I sold a lot more. Well, I suppose this is to be
expected. Is this what they call karma?”

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“However, Moi brought in more profits. Hourai carrots are far
superior to potatoes in terms of taste, price, and fighting
power.”
I really wanted to ask them what’s the point of comparing
fighting power of vegetables, but the owner of the store came in,
completely ignoring the petty pissing match the two of them are
having.
“Man, you two are a great help. Would either of you consider
working here full time? Being a salesman is definitely your
calling, I guarantee it!”
They are a goddess and a devil, though.
“I’m grateful for your offer, but there is something that Moi
must attend to. Working part time every so often is fine, but…”
“Hmm, well, personally, I wouldn’t mind pursuing the art of
salesmanship myself, but the one billion Axis cultists all over
the world would cry if they were to learn of it…”
Why do you sound so reluctant?

↲

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