TIMEPASSAGES

But, luckily for me there’s fun anyway - in the listening, because I’m no - longer committed like the sucker I once was - by faithfully returning all their calls, just to hear their - dreadful answering machines. GIRLS LIKE HER I met her downtown Toronto, on Younge and Church Streets, while selling my flowers, deep rooted - within the city’s metropolis hot action-spot, on the corner in - front of the famed commercial Eaton Center. There she walked gingerly, very pretty in - tight sleek jeans and a pair of - beautiful spiked heals. By the look on her face, I could tell - she was mentally conjuring up how - many pick ups, she would encounter. But, she paused to stop and - talk to me about trivialities - 180

in her life. Until she mentioned the one major - deterrent in her life, the ongoing danger - that doesn’t subside, and that danger is her men. And this particular one - that she madly adores, like the beautiful - spiked heals she wore, this man was - nothing but trouble. He’s in jail for - robbing a bank she said, and severely doing time. So she must adjust - and get on with her life. However, when I asked her still what was - his personality like, all she could say about her faith in - him being released, was that the crime - was of less importance. And she could hardly - wait to see him again, because she missed his good looks. I dear say - confused girls like her, wind up on hideous - talk shows. 181

LEVELED The difference between - me, you, them, and all of us, is the authenticity of our characteristics. For the words of justice that we decry - will only echo and fade away, for it’s either our altruistic - or egotistic motives that belie the sincerity of our habits - of justice or injustice within our life. Hence, before us is a scale - leveled by faith and trust, representing truth honored - amongst us all without denial. WILD MUSHROOMS In the sixties many people enjoyed eating wild mushrooms. Me, I enjoy picking, drying, varnishing, and decorating - my coffee tables and mantle pieces, in my home with them. NEEDFUL THINGS Where is he - when you really need him to do the needful things around the house - like the plumbing, electrical wiring, roofing, piping etc., etc. I could stomach - these things like a plate of okra, or peas, 182

if I had to when - forced upon me but, give me a hammer, nails - pliers and screwdriver, and I’m more successful - with these tools with practice, like when I refresh - on my foreign languages. However, we women know - having a man around the house, is thrilling and beautiful. But, having a handyman - around the house, is virtually incredible. PINK LEMONADE Those crazy, hazy, lazy days of summer are - here again once more. And God knows the summers - should be fun-filled always, ‘cause the months are so short. But, on a hot steamy, unbearable day in Buffalo - there’s never enough sun-showers for a cool sprinkle of relief. You just seem to keep - getting sunburned as the kids playfully - enjoy their retreat. But, appreciate whatever - sunshine’s available and perhaps if you’re vacationing - or happenstance hitting the right location at the right time - you can catch a beautiful twilight, peach-petal-rose sunset - that’s picture perfect, over-looking the lake, soothing, refreshing - 183

to the eye, to the soul, to share with a loved one, as the golden fire from - the days’ ninety degree temperature slowly liquidates and is - released from your body like cool pink lemonade. IT IS NOT ENOUGH JUST TO BE BLACK It is not just your black skin that I am in - love with so much, that you so - proudly boast in vain for - respect and honor, from others of - gentile kind. It is the - deep, dark, shiny, black core - of your divine soul, that harbors within the depths of my heart - that I’m willing to protect, that radiates through my spirit as I - realize through my eyes, you were meant - to be different because of your strength, love and humility - for others to recognize. That is your - beauty amongst all else. 184

IT IS NOT ENOUGH JUST TO BE WHITE It is not just because of the white power you have - to reign over all others as king, that makes your creed affluent as I become inspired - after your greatness and ability. It is because you have - relinquished your throne, and truthfully recognize - the valued golden rudiments, of simple, humble peasants - like myself and the ordinary, that I sacredly admire - as your serenity is stabilized. And these treasured gifts of knowledge you share - amongst all else. THE SECRET P’sss - ss! I forgot to let you in on - a little secret. Remember all those precious cards you sent me, so picturesque - with all the creamy verses? Well, I’ve been saving, storing them - patiently as they collect dust within - my dresser drawers, just to try and prove to myself 185

that you are the very essence - of those words and greetings, printed, packaged, and simultaneously - stereotyped for suckers like me to sit and - ponder whether the words, and actions actually - balance out. Guess what! they don’t. Perhaps, the next - card you send, will have an expiration date. TALK SHOWS Thank God! I’m able to - reveal and vent, my deepest emotions - through poetry. Because, if I continued - to remain choked-up inside one more moment in time - about all the pain I’ve been feeling, from the way - people have hurt me so, I’d wind-up on one of those national - tear-jerking talk shows. Where everyone either - makes a fool of themselves and is mocked by strangers, or either everyone - gets psychoanalyzing, and is entertained into seeking help offered - from these dutiful strangers. 186

LONELY FACES And I stare endlessly; looking at the beauty through all of your eyes, on - your many lonely, lonely faces. GREENCARD It always amazes me - the freedom and privileges, foreigners expect - while assuming dominance within certain countries - because of their greencard. When undoubtedly - is the fact that, you and me are - standing in line with tongue dragging desperately to prove title rights to native civilities - because our birth certificates can prove us worthy - of such caliber. TELEMARKETING Pitch! Pitch! - Until you seal the deal. Pitch! Pitch! - To whoever wears the pants, and controls the green stuff. Pitch! Pitch! to either Mr. or Mrs. – ‘cause sealing the deal is oh! so tough. 187

CHANGE OF IMAGE It’s funny how - people change in life. Just when you think - you know them so well, and then suddenly - you wake up realizing that all along - their image has changed, or the appearance - of their image changes. But, their actions - remain the same, depending upon what - master rules them that day. But, oh! how sweet - is the taste of trust, in an image - seen through gentle eyes. JEALOUSY A rich young man who’s healthy, wise and - maintains a beautiful family, career and livelihood - becomes ill one day. The doctor finds no ailment. The man is not a hypochondriac. Yet, he is diagnosed - with a mental disorder. You see, his neighbor - an old poor illiterate peasant whose extreme happiness - provokes this patients’ jealousy. 188

FEAR You go on an - interview for a job. You get off the bus, and realize you are - still six blocks away from your destination. Perhaps you will be late. The ad in the paper - is already a week old. Obviously, there will - be others vying for the position. Yet, you are skilled, and deserve a chance. Is it worth the - six block journey, or will you be - rejected for incompetence? The answer lys not - in whether you succeed out of fear, but whether you succeed out of faith. BEAUTY You write a ridiculous poem, And realize it needs mending. You rephrase the wording - and correct the story-line, but concentrate not on - the need for perfection, but learn the beauty - of self-criticism. 189

RACISM Racism - like a filthy annoying fly that feeds off of anything and everything - from feces to the garbage in the gutter. HATE ( I ) Hate - like maggots squirming tightly together - growing fat off each other’s body scum. INCOMPETENCE Being physically disabled by two broken legs - but, not realizing the power of a free and boundless mind. HAPPINESS I want so many things, and my needs are greater - than the things I want. What I don’t already have - can frustrate me with discontent. However, there is the happiness - of accepting what little I already have - as mere forerunners of what’s to come. HATE ( II ) Like two foreigners - ignorant of each other’s language, but knowledgeable by instinct - 190

of each other’s human feelings - yet, they reject each other’s humility. LOVE Like a flower well bloomed, adored and beautiful - to the eye, like a flower still beautiful, and well loved - as it shrivels and dies. GREED Like an unbalanced day harboring too many - unnecessary responsibilities for man to achieve all at once. All leading up to - vain and selfish attainment. MY WORLD WAS TURNED AROUND July 6, 1999 the day started - off rather dismal. But, I stopped in - at the Jolly Jug after work - and I heard a beautiful song playing - on the juke box, by the magnificent - late Frank Sinatra. Its’ title - “You turned my world around”. 191

WHORE She doesn’t walk the streets, that doesn’t mean - she isn’t a whore. She’s not exposing her nudity, all over Playboy Magazine, that still doesn’t mean - she isn’t a whore. She doesn’t dance - in the strip joints, or explicitly spread - herself on the internet. But, she plays - with his mind, toys with his spirit, rapes his soul and body - and feigns after his love, while madly in pursuit - of his money. She is the greatest - whore of all, she is control. BEDLAM Another word for this crazy - world we live in, Bedlam. VILIFY Can family members offend and defame? Have you ever tried to please a family member so much, that you almost lose - 192

your mind in shame? Well, you don’t need to. Just please you, yourself. Let them criticize and vilify. But follow your heart. Let God be your guide. You may lose a family member, but, you gain a friend - in yourself. HUMAN MASTERS And Jesus didn’t need any - drugs or booze then; to get high and preach - or teach his disciples, that they may follow him - through love and wisdom. And Jesus doesn’t need any of - those artificial additives now in his life to give - rebirth to his disciples, so they may follow him - through love and wisdom. Silly humans, all have tried to symbolize - his power, love, wisdom, beauty, devotion and divinity - through their vices. And they find a high - that temporarily stabilizes, or intrigues their life. And trying to teach; - they criticize others in vain. But, with these techniques - I simplify that humans are lame, weak and cannot - preach or teach the word of God. 193

But wind-up misleading followers, through falseness and - practices of tyranny. I recommend you stay - high on life and, leave the baptizing and judging - to God most high. This is why I don’t - worship humans for masters. THE DEATH OF MARY She lived peacefully, humbly, non-bitterly and unselfishly to a ripe old age. Husband-less, childless, she spent - her precious time alone, saving, collecting, special memories from items - bestowed upon her from many people. She worked hard all her life - and spent her retirement with idle time frequenting her local tavern. The day of her death her remaining - family didn’t claim her body or pay respects. But, her tavern comrades loved her dearly - and will miss her sorely. PREJUDICE If you are prejudice then surely you’re not: Christian, Protestant, Presbyterian, Pentecostal, Episcopalian, Baptist, Methodist, Judaist, Muslim, Hindu or Buddhist. We are all still God’s children - however, you are yet not saved. Yes you, and you know – who you are. 194

MOULIN ROUGE (The Red Windmill) Spinning faster than - the speed of light, as the wind propels - its blades faster and faster. On the other side of the hill - I reminisce about us together. My dreams now chopped in half. And you completely - gone from my sight. As it sucks in dusty pieces - of my sunburned dried-out heart, the red windmill disperses - the particles east, west, north and south - against an endless sky, sunlit orange-red. The evening twilight - of his nightmare, as he sits alone recounting - precious moments lost, without me in reverie - but, now spent in dreadful memory of the fighting that - simply tore us apart. And I am many miles far away, while he is there - living alone on the hill. And as he looks upward - to the skies to hear my voice, and gentle spirit continually cry out - to him of lost love; as the sounds are carried - by the wind over beyond the red windmill - but, the spinning blades dissect the melody. 195

TWO MINUTE POEM I love you, I miss you - I need you, ad-lib. SOMETHIN’S GOTTA’ GIVE Somethin’s gotta’ give, I don’t wanna’ hear - no sad songs tonight ‘bout whether my life’s - gonna’ turn out right. Somethin’s gotta’ give sooner or later, - right now it’s me ‘gainst the roaring wind. Somethin’s gotta’ give. I’m facin’ whatever’s meant - and it better let me in. Too late for secrets, in my life my friends. Don’t wanna’ hear - no sad songs tonight. I’m wearin’ smilin’ eyes - all the way. Somethin’s gotta’ give, I’m long over due. My ships’ gotta’ sail in, and I’m gonna’ live to - see that blessed day. LIAR Two-faced that you are, you refuse to depart - with simple, precious things that are near to my heart, 196

things you can - give me easily. Things tangible. How then, can I respect you when you proclaim - your desire is to fulfill my future needs; - things less tangible. Liar. VIKINGS When I lived in - St. Thomas, U.S.V.I. I used to love to seek - and gather sea urchins washed ashore to - make jewelry, earrings, and simple things I adored. And you the tourists; would collect precious shells, mollusks, and tropical fish - to take as memoirs abroad, for your little ones, loved ones. Yes Mother of Pearl, and Coral. You raped them from - the seas, and oceans’ core. God’s turquoise beauty - in plenitude for sure. Your trained eyes - certainly hit the mark. Behold God’s eminent beauty - for ours to drink-up, like a slippery cocktail - and become drunk. Yet, with pen in hand, we write this beauty within history books - for future wisdom. And our children’s children 197

will revisit that beauty - in our national museums. But, can history repeat itself, - when we seek pride and prowess? As we resemble the Vikings, sea-robbers, riding the tides, scavenging - the seas for our own glorious selfishness. Perhaps, we the thieves are not as brutal comparing - to the Vikings in abundance. But, the Vikings had beautiful ships. Yes didn’t they! (A MID-SUMMER’S NIGHT DREAM ) I KNOW OF A MAN I know of a man so serene - careening through the universe, playing amongst the stars, yet, hiding from the sun - because he is lonely, and doesn’t want - to show his face, in the bright light. But, he dances nightly - in the silvery-moonlight. Yet, he is shy and only - makes guest appearances. Still, he paces - through the galaxies, dreaming of his beautiful soul-mate. He comes down to visit me - every now and then. Swish - ish - sh! And then he’s gone, back up to the heavens - and sleeps beyond the clouds. I will watch for his return, 198

and grasp onto his - coat tail in the sky. We will fly together, soaring high forever - before I’m too old, for he is Haley’s Comet, and not scheduled to pay earth a visit - for a while I’m told. THE LIGHTHOUSE If ever there was a sacred hiding place where I could solemnly get away to ease - my mind peacefully, and find solace for my grieving heart - day to day, it would probably be somewhere out there - beyond the deep, dark blue sea - secured in a hollow structure, on the quiet, calm waters - towering high and royally. Where the seagulls glide around and above - it gracefully. Yes where all my secrets can be summed-up - and penned in poetry. Oh! how my heart yearns, to live out this - childhood fantasy. A precious dream - come true just for me. Where I could virtually - 199

reminisce on beautiful, memories of my life - and perhaps restructure a new future for myself. This sacred place - is none other than - the towering lighthouse, set out at sea with serenity to steady the ships abroad - and guide them inland carefully. A hollowed structure, with just enough space to seat and house - one lil’ body like me. My childhood fantasy - to work in a lighthouse, read and write poetry. Freedom far away from the world, peace and silent lucidity. THE FARM HAND I remember workin’ on Fisher Farms - out in Gainesville, N.Y. Just outside Warsaw. We were up at - five in the morn’ at the crack of dawn. They ran the harvester, and plowed the fields. By mid-noon, we were halfway through - pickin’ and gatherin’ our crops of tomatoes, potatoes and - strawberries for the day. We had to - ‘cause by twelve noon; wide open, with no shade - the sun is at its highest peak, 200

shining, burnin’ and wearin’ - down your body heat. Deadnin’ your strength, tirin’ your soul - ‘til all you cry out for, is sleep and rest. The money was scarce. The work was hard and coarse. I watched the shirtless Mexicans - drinkin’ beer and tequila, and sweatin’ out their share - of labor, but never falterin’. They just endured the heat - the entire week until the work was done. And there were the - lazy ones, complainin’ ones, steadily, who for obvious reasons grimaced at their lousy - checks come payday. For me as a farmhand, it was stressin’ bein’ - one out of three women strugglin’ to hoist heavy baskets - of potatoes while runnin’ to claim your ticket for each - basket rendered, piece meal work by the basket every hour. On my knees, my small hands - kept diggin’ deep into the soil, pickin’ the very best - of what I could get. And I’d hear the bossman say - “git’ ‘em all, git’ ‘em all, don’t want no small ones - or rotten ones. Fill ‘dem baskets wit’ - large taters, git’ ‘em all, git’ ‘em all.” Yes, sun up - ‘til sun down, 201

we’d work, rest, eat lunch, drink beer, - then row, by row, we’d git’ ‘em all, git’ ‘em all. And only the landowners got rich. But, you can break - a man and woman’s back, but don’t try to break their spirit. Hard work is what - we believed in however small the rewards! - it gave us integrity, pride and respect. Such are the endeavors - of hard labor on a farm. FAME You’ve reached the summit peak of - the mountain top. Looking down - you hear the roar of the crowd beneath you - cheering frantically for you. Suddenly, there’s a landslide, you trail the slopes - to the foot of the mountain. Looking up - you hear the roar of the crowd above you - fading gently as the silence engulfs you. SUCCESS Cruelty - can permanently scar. But kindness - can permanently heal. 202

The people you greet on the way up - the hill to success, are the same - people you meet on the way down - the hill to oblivion. FAME AND FORTUNE Count and appreciate - your talents and blessings daily. Use them wisely. Share them with people, - bring them into fruition. Fame and fortune - never misuse them. They are gifts from God. Remember humility. Wound no one with these - tools as ammunition. SPOILED Being the youngest amongst us two, meaning my brother and I; you might think all - my life I’ve been spoiled. Not true. I’ve learned to fight like a lioness - for the strength of endurance in life, even if beaten - I’d lunge back with fervor. I am feline in spirit - 203

all the way. Yet, I’m born under the zodiac of Sagittarius, - half-human, half-horse, the strength of the centaur of course. I challenge and carry my dreams to the stars. I soar high and far as I can go. I’ve never been spoiled rotten to exercise my power - in dominating my goals, against another’s will. I’m tactful, firm, and try to be gentle - with strategy and conformity. I’ve always wondered though; - what it would be like if I were spoiled enabling - me to sit royally, gloating, and becoming disgustingly intolerable, like so many others - advantageous to this networking. THE DESPERATE HOURS And there are nights when I don’t think I’m - going to make it through another day. I just lie there - in bed, in the dark unsaved from myself, flightless, confused and - defeated by loneliness. Wishing for that second counterpart 204

we all have in life - to switch places with me, to come forth freeing me - offering me new birth. According to myth - singularly, only one of us can share the universe, and live on earth - at a given time. But, each night passes by. Yet, she ventures not - from the heavenly sky. So I wake alone - in the desperate hours, again, unsaved from myself. Thinking his face may appear today, in the shuffling crowd - outside my window, and come rescue me - from these timeless, phantoms of piracy, - in these heated hours that deprive me. And come love me with stability, so I can turn back - the hands of time, move forward. Clear out the cobwebs - in my mind with assuredness, that these desperate hours - I constantly regain, are nothing more than - barren emotions lost in, wet dreams with no refrain. SECONDS And I want to - learn to believe in myself more. And I want to - be saved from 205

myself more. I want to hurt - less in my life. And I love God more, through my talents - of poetry, music and art. And I know God more, through the beautiful - bountiful world around me, amongst the children especially. And in things great and small, in the simple, less complex things. In the silence of it all - when he helps steady me. And I want to share - my strength more, with others through wisdom, for it is only seconds - before we die. THE TEMPEST I’ve never had a lot of money before - to spend on whatever, my lil’ heart desired. I watch lil’ kids today - tag onto the end, of their mommy’s shirt - pouting and begging, for a dollar or loose change - for candy in the snack machines, in the stores, malls etc. Some of them would make - great actors and actresses. They’re aggressive, demanding - and intend to make themselves clear, they want money from mommy - for candy - get it! And it’s give it to - 206

them or else! They’re between two - and four years old. Who the hek! introduced - them to the tempest anyway! Who taught them the - power of money in the first place? NAKED TRUTH Throughout history - there have been a plethora of famous male designers - known around the world. And with individual creativity being the leading force - behind their talent and success, with a steady hand - and an ingenious mind, they continually attempt to beautify women with - the very best of stylish clothing for years to come. Yet, it’s so ironic - the more women’s-wear designers create, the more tempting women fascinate - themselves by freeing their bodies, from these expensive rags - and going naked. Yes, Hollywood’s full of naked beauties. WITNESSING A JEWISH WEDDING Years ago during my college days - in Middletown, NY - on a beautiful sunny Sabbath (Saturday) summer afternoon, outside a huge Jewish Memorial Synagogue; as the ceremony took place on the grounds - within the synagogue’s gorgeous courtyard, 207

verdant and blossoming with various flowers; I was relaxing and reading a short distance - away from the actual ceremony but, at vantage point. And the bride and groom to be walked gingerly up towards the Rabbi while awaiting - family, wedding members, guest, entourage etc., as the guest stood alongside in two small lines, peering on at the two beautiful gracious, happy newlyweds. No doubt! I witnessed a match made in heaven - before the eyes of God, before the public. And before the Rabbi was even able to complete - his sanctimonious ritual of marrying them, I realized how deeply in love, and physically attracted this man was to this woman. Attractive they both were and - physically built on great Jewish stock. You see, I witnessed this mans’ caressing - and pre-honeymoon fondling right there on the courtyard grounds as he physically grabbed her derriere repeatedly, all the way to the alter. I knew then they were already married, and it was only a matter of minutes - before the Rabbi actually legitimized the event. It’s been over twenty years now since - I lived in Middletown and I hope they’re still happily married and that he still - grabs her derriere the way he did then. Because every time he grabbed her - I wished it was me who was then getting married, and having my future husband grabbing - for me so earnestly. GOOD AGED WINE ‘Twas the day we didn’t fight, bitch - or try to kill each other. - And the sheets were wet with our desire. Fire in our eyes - 208

and then the silence. And every drop, of our love we drank - to the fullest, like good ole’ aged wine - except our love’s unfiltered, non-bottled. A Cabernet we adore, like perhaps Heitz Martha’s Vineyard ! - 1990 for sure. DOCTOR’S ORDERS It’s either - don’t drink, or drink less. Don’t smoke, or smoke less. No drugs - absolutely. And his main verdict - the killer - stress, get rid of stress. The next day after - visiting the doctor, it was beautifully sunny. No rain in the forecast. You’re relaxed, stimulated. Count your blessings - take the world on by surprise, and it’s off to business as usual. Then suddenly, some asshole - gets in the way, and screws it all up for you. BESIEGE And I live - next door to a church, that I would - like to attend to hear the sermon sometime - and worship there, 209

every now and then. But you can’t worship God, with a racist mind - and a heart of stone. And some of these church members - have racist minds, and hearts of stone; as their bigotry is reflected in their children’s - behavior in the neighborhood. And I feel besieged by - their mere presence. BURDEN OF PROOF The fact that - the family members have gone their separate ways, and no longer have time to - elaborate on a family reunion, bears the burden of proof - that an era of strength, love, and family stability - is diminishing rapidly. - And the excuse is that everyone’s too busy - getting ahead in life. LOVE Veni, Vidi, Vici - I came, saw, conquered. I am Love. BEAST OF BURDEN With my small - but strong hands, and strong backbone, I could render myself to you as your slave - 210

you the master - Society! Rich in arms and wealth. But I a poor - servant of humanity; yet I am kindhearted, able-bodied and willing - to make a change for all countries. Take me, use me, even laugh at me - oh superior ones! I will let you boast royally. I never want to be - your beast of burden. I will slave earnestly - until all nationalities, become unified under one sky. LAMPLIGHT Has some of the stars in the heavenly sky - burned out completely? Is that why there’s now - all this darkness within our lives! Have we any past debts - to pay to our local electrician? I’m not perfect - but I’m trying to owe up, can you help me? - I will help you. Perhaps next month’s bill - will not be so extravagant. I believe he’s continuing, to still give us time - to catch up on our debts, and not turn off his - heavenly lamplight on us totally. Look-up to the sky - there’s a dim light. 211

The remaining stars are shining in his eyes as he smiles - down upon us. FRIENDSHIP We can always find - friendship in God, if we let him in. Though, sometimes we - think he’s not listening, or we feel he’s too busy. So then he invests - his love, trust, faith, loyalty and wisdom, in the genes - of another living being. And this special breathing - soul of creativity, we call our - lil’ buddy in life. Yes this special, personalized gift bestowed - upon us we call … a valued friend in life. Do you have - at least one!. WEALTH Depend not only - upon money to free you from poverty, and make you happy. Remember your talents - they are gifts from God. Use them wisely - profusely, accordingly, and they will uplift - 212

you in abundance of wealth financially - and spiritually. INTELLIGENCE Intelligence - can be either friend or foe. Trust, listen - and have faith, in your inner spirit. It will guide you - to prosperity and wisdom. Reject, disobey - and lose faith in your inner spirit - and it will lead you to regret and ignorance. PURSUIT Pursuit is a - burning desire for something or someone - we want or perhaps need. Nevertheless - applied are the consequences good or bad, - when these things in pursuit are achieved. DECEPTION When you despise - someone’s character or disposition and you challenge - their weaknesses for personal satisfaction; to prove to yourself that you’re improving - your own imperfections, 213

then suddenly, your gratification deceives you, as they defame and mock you - and strengthen on your weaknesses, as you then try to, cleanse yourself of guilt - from submitting them as prey. QUESTION MARK And some believe they are an atheist. Some believe he’s merely - a beautiful myth, that doesn’t exist. Yet, I’ve done my share - of sampling and exercising, various worldly religions. Yet, it is not the fear, of disbelief in whether - he actually exists, that I encountered - that startles me so. It is the fear - I encounter in a world of people who lack control - of faith in themselves. If their faith - exists not in him - then who? That’s what angers me so. 214

ROUTINE I won a lawsuit, and was awarded - six-thousand dollars and change. After my lawyer’s percent, I claimed four-thousand - sixty dollars. To much surprise - my lawyer inquired, “What would I do - with four-thousand-sixty dollars?”. My answer was precise - “pay the bills”. It’s a routine of mine. PAIN Pain - like an incurable disease, that’s making your body lame as you physically try to - fight back with resistance, and live out your last hours - as you mentally but calmly, accept your disability. CHILDREN Free - like a flowing stream running into a lake, and perhaps advancing - into an estuary growing consequently, and connecting into the - 215

great wide ocean of opportunity. Individual - like the fingerprint of a human being. Energetic - like the sharp piercing rays of the sun. Children are intuitive in thought, and expressive in will-power. Children are like flowers - blossoming constantly like artistic impressionists painting picturesque landscapes - in our minds, stimulating us, to build one world around them - in harmony forever. GLORY Helping someone else who’s less fortunate - in life. CHARITY The sacrificing - and doing without, to give your children - a better future. DEVOTION The determination, to make this world - a better place to live in, through wisdom, faith in God - and strength from within yourself. 216

CHAOTIC Like watching pebbles ripple on the waters - rapid in a stream. And tainted is your mood, because you realize - those pebbles are like your thoughts - lost, and running loosely - without direction. FREEDOM Like a Seagull soaring high above - a ships’ mast, and then gracefully - gliding inland and perching itself - on an anchor ashore. While peering wisely at the world around it - and surviving peacefully, until the next catch. Oh! the beauty of this freedom, a solo away from other - competing seagulls in life. And with this thought of strength, I share this seagull’s freedom - however lonely the appearance, of the view. UNWELCOMED STRANGER How dare he invade my privacy - familiarizing himself in my home, like a long-life friend and roommate feeling - so comfy as a permanent fixture, 217

when in reality he’s nothing more - than a perfect stranger at large and pursuant to roam. He’s heartless, uncaring, unthinking - and totally unaware of my deepest emotions, because he visits in the wee small - hours of the night, obviously, when I need sleep the most. He wakes me up as he’s engaged with attempting - to raid the fridge and employed with work and nonsense, at abnormal crazy hours so abhorring - not conducive to my lifestyle. This miserable little nuisance - surely not a friend but foe, as he aggravates my patience, and frightens me so. And just to think of myself as queen - in my beautiful home; yet prisoner unto this strange troublemaker, as he assumes position and dominates - as king while acting alone. Well, I will trap this little creature, yes his royal heinous - will be dethroned and exported to a new kingdom. And I will regain my sanity and power. As I watch this little fury creature - squirm under my command and cower under my voice. He will rule no more, he will have no choice - but to leave with his little threadlike tail trailing behind him, as I smash him bang! dead! flat on the floor! His tiny little eyes that once glanced at me so boldly, proudly, will now be shut tight! without sight! No more running from his cunning moves that used to scare me constantly. Sincerely, I am a dear and kind person, but my unwelcomed little stranger - was rather proud and fierce, and wined and dined, without permission or supervision. Now I am at peace with myself again in my beautiful house, for my unwelcomed little stranger has gone to meet its maker - and be judged for intrusion and invasion of privacy, on earth as a disobedient little mouse. 218

MY BEAUTIFUL CLADDAGH My beautiful - Claddagh wedding ring, August 31, 1990. The Crown, The Heart, The Hands, all honoring - True Loyalty, Devotion, True Love, Affection, and True Friendship, Dedication. All three entities - encompass the very essence, of my well being. GUILT Like a bad case of laryngitis; and each time you swallow - you feel the strain on your throat. And the pain swelling up your throat, while gulping and sucking - down the guilt of avoiding seeking medication for your - infectious virus, before it escalated into - this contagious cold, as it easily spreads itself around. SELFISHNESS Being in love - and living with someone, as you are attached - to that oneness, yet watching them become - jealous as you gain some independence. 219

RETIREMENT He’s retired and - living a mundane, boring life, separated from his wife but not divorced - for financial reasons. Thankfully, the grandkids - make him happy sometimes, and provide him - little peace of mind. But, he’s non-stimulated, unmotivated, and therefore, socially confined - to himself only. His former wife somewhat - younger than him, yet enjoying and fulfilling - her newfound single life. She works part-time, isn’t bad looking - acquired some tattoos, and is dating a younger man - going bald, who rides a Harley, and shares her happiness. However, her former husband - a hard labored man that he was, is now dying in loneliness. Is this retirement? MOMMY AND DADDY Mommy and Daddy - got divorced, but they love - their children all too well. Mommy and Daddy - are now friends. If they ever - live together again, only time will tell. 220

And in this world - of mice and men, Mommy and Daddy - find faith and strength in God. And when their loneliness - burdens their heart, they sing the song of Solomon - and their anguish suddenly departs. But, all the King’s horses - and all the King’s men, stand gallant and salute - Mommy and Daddy, as they try to patch - their lives back together again. THE 60s Gone is the music, gone is the attire, gone is the real love - peace and power. Gone is the flower child, gone is that generation. But we live on - we the baby-boomers of the 60s - replicas of the past. I guess no era in time - is virtually meant to last. Henceforth, we have - growth, renewal, change and acceptance. So we needn’t relive the 60s, just recapture the - fellowship of fellowman - to cultivate this era, with the strength of mankind - for eternal existence. 221

FRIENDS And you sift through all - the rotten scum and sediment, above earth and sea searching endlessly until - you recognize the oddity, the gem. It takes nearly a lifetime - but the truth will surface eventually. Only then will that special - gem shine in your eyes, as you unveil the outer shell. There finally - polished and refined, is a pearl true to your hearts’content - to become your long-life friend. THE WELL Life - drink up as much happiness, and swallow as much love - of life - before it runs dry. PATCHWORK A lil’ bit o’ this, a lil’ bit o’ that. Like the beautiful - perfumed scent of potpourri, that is my life - a multi-colored yarn of life. A diverse flowery quilt. A mixture of patchwork - with sweet tid-bits n’ pieces, of culture, art, music - femininity and love. Multiplied by all the - wondrous things my heart dreams of. 222

NUDIST BEACH And the others gain high recognition. Their beautiful bodies gracefully becomes - tan, mauve, and golden-brown. You know who they are. But I - ly gracefully - and soak it all in, yet, I gain a shade without definition. My beautiful body slowly becomes sun burnt. I’M COLOR -BLIND When I was a red-head I didn’t fight with or - antagonize brunettes or blondes. Now as a blonde - I don’t fight with, or antagonize red-heads and other blondes. Most blondes compete - with each other. It’s not just the hair color - that makes them rivals, it’s the vicious attitude they promote. MAYTAG Maytag - a name familiar to thousands of families - and their ancestors. A coin-operated laundry-mat service, a place where I worked briefly. And the people there all robotic in routine - steady customers on the scene, washing laundry constantly - day in, day out, week to week. Good business for the owners, but, I never thought I’d meet - so many miserable idiots, and loners, in a laundry-mat. 223

THE SLAMMERS Bang! They slam the doors leaving the house. Bang! They slam the doors entering the house. Stomp! Stomp! Up and down the stairs. Bang! Bang! I know - when they’re home. And the vibration shakes - everything on my walls, as well as it sends tremors - through my entire body. They wear expensive clothes, and drive expensive cars - but they act as if they were raised in a cave like heathens. I mean the slammers - in my building. They’re young and uncaring. Again, bang! bang! The frame around the front - door is nearly off. I’m always praying how much - longer before they move. INDIFFERENCE And their indifference towards me is stated as such, they hate me - when I’ m being my normal sweet and gentle self. And they hate me - when I’m being the vociferous bitch I need to be - to protect myself. I can’t seem to win - in society. 224

LIL’ DRUMMER GIRL I saw a little girl about six or seven - beating on the garbage can outside the Maytag laundry-mat with her precious little hands keeping rhythm all the way - could she be tomorrow’s - Gene Simmons? FROM DAYS OF YORE Things I’ll never get tired of like, the music from the 50s - Chad-Dean, Pitney, Sinatra, Bennett era. The great Supremes, Jackson -Five, Temptations, Four Tops, Motown era. Music from the great blues, jazz - Armstrong, Holiday, Gillespie, Coltrane, Morgana King era. Music from the heavenly 60s - Shondells, Joplin, Mitchell, Simon-Taylor, Simon-Garfunkel, Seals-Croft era. Or the indomitable spirit of the - 70s, 80s, Santana, Moody-Blues, Doors, Who, Stones, Rundgren, Boston, John-Taupin, Frampton, E.L.O, Dokken, Rush, Genesis, Halen, Sledge, Disco Donna era. Those are only some of - the gems in the treasure chest, that mean the world to me - from The Days of Yore. YOU HAVN’T EXPERIENCED REAL LOVE And many people say - you havn’t experienced real love until you’ve been hurt - and deeply burned by an affair. 225

But is it just one affair - two or three before you realize what true love is sincerely? How many affairs does it take - simply to heal a broken heart, or a burned soul. Can anyone tell me? Quite frankly, I just keep - going and going, giving and loving, like a Duracell battery - all juiced up. When I’m confronted - with burnout I just recharge, on my self-pity. MODERN DAY POET I’m not a Shakespearean poet. But I love Shakespeare and - I love Khalil Gibran. I’m a modern day poet - free form verse, audible and clear. I hope lil’ ones will love - and understand me. I hope older ones will love - and respect me. For you the young and old - are part of my journey, and the fruit of life - I partake, bless and feed off, as I grow, strengthen and - finally, replenish your spirit again. 226

MOBILE A middle-aged, heavy-set sluggish looking and unmannerly - man came into the laundry-mat one day. He washed enough - clothing for the entire year. From his big black van, he pulled out bags after bags - at least twenty. The clothes were very old. In a careless manner - he slammed down the machine lids, while shoving the carts clumsily - here, there and up against the walls. Obviously, there’s no wife - available to help do his chores. He spent four hours washing and the clothes were - still stained and dinghy. I pitied him somehow. My instinct tells me, he’s living and sleeping - between some cheap motel, and in his van. He stays moving - as a transient. He’s leaving but he’ll - probably come back one day. For now he’s mobile. SUBURBIA OR BOOMTOWN I once worked on a farm, but, by no means am I - a naive country girl. I was raised in a city, hustle, bustle all the way. Another day, another dollar - that’s life anyone would say, 227

in a vast, fast-paced metropolis. I’m wise, prudent and unselfish, and worked hard for - everything I own. I lived and love the country life. Yet, I also love an exciting city. Though city people can be rude, snobbish. But, I’m a survivor. Another day, another dollar. Your ticket out of - a non-industrial small rural town, and into a major - booming city, is hard work. Your ticket out of - a major sophisticated crazy boomtown, and into an exclusive suburbia, is hard work. THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH He knew too much - about our suffering. He knew too much - about our sorrows, pain and glory. He knows too much - about the worlds’ beginning story, about our past, present and future. He’s the man who knew too much. He knows too much - about our children’s children’s children. He knows too much - about the poor, rich, wise, dumb and lame. And he is only one man - storing all this info within this brain. Yet, invested in him, is the power to change - the criteria of us all. He’s the man they crucified - and died for us all. 228

He’s the man that knew too much - but he’ll return one day, and stand tall for sure. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO ROCK ‘Member the days, when hard-rockers ruled thee earth? They were young, long-haired and beautiful. Bring ‘em all back, - those rockin’ lil’ monsters, ‘cause they sure could - swing n’ play their guitars. APRIL WINE And all the - leaves on the trees are velvety soft as, they’ve begun to breathe - in new life. The grass is quite green, and blowing gently - with the breeze, like a verdant sea of gypsies. As the songs of the robins pervade the air - telling all that summer is virtually near. I close my eyes - imagining luscious food, cooking on the grill. And welcome the blue-jays’ laughter - while perched on my window-sill. With my lover by my side - watching neighboring children, so agile, alert and alive. In Aprils’ resilient sunshine - I drink up the sentiment, 229