Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks. Goldilocks was a therapist and she was known to diagnose random people or animals with mental disorders, and find treatments for them, which is why she went on a walk in the forest, looking for her next patient. Pretty soon, she stumbled upon a house.
She knocked on the door, and when no one answered, she went right in. She decided to explore the house and try to see if she could know things about the homeowners before they came. There was a picture frame of three bears in the living room, so Goldilocks knew that this house belonged to a family of bears (Mama bear, Papa bear, and Baby bear).
At the table in the kitchen, there were three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks examined each bowl. “This bowl is too big,” she exclaimed. “This bowl is just right,” she said. “But this bowl is too small, " she said.
The bowl was filled with just a small amount of porridge, so Goldilocks diagnosed Mama bear with Anorexia disorder. This was true because Mama bear was unhealthily skinny. She would always serve herself a small portion of food because she really wanted to be skinny, and had a fear of being overweight. However, no matter how little she ate or how skinny she was, she always thought that she was overweight.
After she’d inspected each bowl, she decided to walk into the living room, where she saw all the chairs to see if she could diagnose another bear with a disorder. “This chair is in a crooked position,” she said. She then looked at the last chair and said, “this chair is also in a crooked position,” she exclaimed. “But this chair is in a perfect position, and it has a sign that says ‘do not remove from this position or else.’”
Goldilocks discovered her second diagnosis, Papa bear had Symmetry Obsessive Compulsive disorder. Papa bear always had persistent, intrusive, and unwanted thoughts (obsessions) of arranging items in a perfect position. If Papa bear ever encountered items that aren't perfectly aligned, he would feel intense distress. Papa bear also had compulsions, which is why he would repeatedly align items in a perfect position.”
Once Goldilocks was done inspecting the chair, she decided to go upstairs to see if she could diagnose the last bear by looking at the beds. “This bed has very few items in it, “ exclaimed Goldilocks. “This bed has just the right amount of items in it,” she said. “Ahh, but this bed has too many items in it,” she said.
From this evidence, Goldilocks diagnosed Baby bear with Hoarding disorder. Baby bear had repeatedly been unable to give up or throw out his possessions, no matter how old or worthless they were. Even when Baby bear tried to throw out the unnecessary items, he would always feel significant distress or impairment. Baby bear always felt a need to save them and wanted to avoid the discomfort of disposal.
When Goldilocks was done diagnosing each bear, she was feeling a little tired, so she decided to sleep in one of the beds, until the bears came so that she could tell them about her findings. As she was sleeping, the bears came home.
The bears were tired when they got back home, so they decided to go to sleep in their beds. However, when the Baby bear came to his room, he saw that Goldilocks was on his bed. "Someone's been sleeping in my bed and she's still there!" exclaimed the Baby bear.
Just then, Goldilocks woke up. That’s when she saw that all three of the bears were looking at her sternly, wanting an explanation for her actions, so Goldilocks said, “my name is Goldilocks and I am a therapist, I have come to your house to diagnose you all with a disorder. I have come to the conclusion that Mama bear has Anorexia disorder, Papa bear has Symmetry Obsessive Compulsive disorder, and Baby bear has Hoarding disorder. All of you need to be treated with cognitive therapy. I will help you all until you are normal.”
That’s when Goldilocks realized that the three bears were looking at her angrily. “OUT NOW,” they all growled.
Goldilocks ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the forest. She never returned to the home of the three bears ever again.