the book with no pictures

The
Book
W ith
No
Pictures

B.J.Novak



This is a book with
no pictures.

f
r
n

It might seem like no
fun to have someone
read you a book with
no pictures.



It probably seems
boring

saenrdi.ous.

Except...

~ .1EtJ1

Here is how books work:

Everything the words
say, the person reading
the book has to say.

-

6':1s ilt&x"i:s# .., .. !titrtt

No matter what.

T
T

S
E

That's the deal.
That's the rule.

So that means...
Even if the words say...

.-e

BLORK.

Wait-what?

That doesn't even

mean anything.

e·ow:rr10• •

BLuuRF.

Wait a second-what?!
This isn't the kind
of book I wanted to
read!
And I have to say
every word the book says?
U h - o h ...

Iditb Jama monkey
who taught
if ,
ti

0 myself to read.

Hey! I'm not
a monkey!

Arenaddinnog·v):,vo·_ u.·.rtnhis

book w ith my

monkey n1outh

inmy

monkey voice.

That 's not true ...
I am not a monkey!

Yes, I am

a:monkey.

Also, I am a

MCNKEY.

WHAT?!

And my head

is made of

blueberry
p•izza.

Wait a second-

Is this whole book

a trick?

Can I stop reading,
please?

No?!!



And now rt}s time
for me to sing you
my favorite song!

A song?
Do I really have to sing a-

nglug
glug
glug n
'

l

t

• my face is a
•

·o;
Ii)

bug...·~ nir

tOl

,ge
f'itl

ver:
ran
ndi

,owE
anb
ndd

nI eat ants for

breakfast

right off the

tUUUUUuug!

What?!

f'

This book is ridiculous'
Can I stop reading yet?

No?!?

There are MORE pages?'
I have to read the rest?!?'



MY only i·r1en d in the ce

whole w ice w orld is 1-
a hippo n am ed s.
)t
B0 0
BBUOTOT

B00B00B utt?!

and also, .
the kid I'm reading

Ab this book to is

Wl

Aft
the
the

Wo
sill

ID!

He;

IN THE HISTORY OF T

At,
ing
Wil
~ve

Val

mi

ov

iD

1d

ts

'ice
I

,n

,g.
es.
1ot

THE ENTIRE WORLD

Oh, really?

nd this kid is the

;martest kit

too, because this kid

chose this book

even though it had

no pictures

because kids know bi
this is the book
that makes grown-ups tfJ
have to say 1d

silly things! 10

d1
:i,
,y
ti

T

T

and...
make silly sounds like...

A

V

A
ti
ti

VI
si
I,

H

A
izl
tt

e,

w

a,:

pc
ca

a,::

oh no oh no here it comes ...

•-

"GLuU ,
GA-W...O. C r,

-:~
•11Jl\111Gnnt~\ _1•.a-dOO
Al· 1·E E1•1•f•EAE1·•f1·•fE•f E t•

A

'BRROOOOoO

BRROOoOOO
__ BRROOOOoO.

()OO( : Om~
SEEEEmph!
1Slaggity-BLaGGITY :·
LIB~ITY-globbity :
gobb1ty-GLIBBITY
;,
BaBEEP.
ceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeceeeeeee<eE•e.•eeeePete.'eee - ,
,,eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeecee e<'<ee.>ele't1'ec<··ePeeeeeeeeeeee

NGYeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet>ee
, •A C' EfftfI'
., •••••



lsQ

Oh
my
goodness.

J

.e

a
p

C

a

Please don't
ever
make me read
this book again!

It is so... silly!

In fact, it is completely
and utterly

preposterous!

Next time,
please please please please

please

choose a book with pictures.

Please? for
·ard
Because this is iust too
heC
ridiculous
r, a1
to read. I als

lp
sin

Uec1
•Th

ue,
bu

m

Jn



The End 1)

i,
re
Ii

Lt

a
i,

1(

h.

BONK. J,

1didn't want to say that.