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Finding Your Balance In an Unbalanced World All Rights Reserved. Copyright © 2023 Teri K. Seiler v4.0 The opinions expressed in this manuscript are solely the opinions of the author and do not represent the opinions or thoughts of the publisher. The author has represented and warranted full ownership and/or legal right to publish all the materials in this book. This book may not be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in whole or in part by any means, including graphic, electronic, or mechanical without the express written consent of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. Outskirts Press, Inc. http://www.outskirtspress.com Paperback ISBN: 978-1-9772-5284-5 Hardback ISBN: 978-1-9772-5689-8 Cover Photo © 2023 Andy Seiler. All rights reserved - used with permission. Author Photo © 2023 Jason Gilmore. All rights reserved - used with permission. All Scripture quotes taken from the New Living Translation (NLT) unless otherwise noted. Outskirts Press and the “OP” logo are trademarks belonging to Outskirts Press, Inc. PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Tabl o Conten Introduction: Meet Your Coach ................................................i 1 Bringing Balance Back .......................................................1 2 A Formula for the Journey ...............................................10 3 Meditation God’s Way .....................................................22 4 Problems, Perspectives & Paradigms ..............................35 5 Moving From “Stuck” to Change That “Sticks” ................50 6 You Got This! ...................................................................65 7 Don’t Believe It! ..............................................................86 8 Trust in “That Which Is Greater” ...................................108 9 A Parable of Love & Position (Part 1) ............................126 10 A Parable of Love & Position (Part 2) ............................151
= i In oductio Mee You Coac Dear Reader, Let me say how excited I am to start this journey with you. As an author, I have had extensive experience writing various scripts and plays while working as a music teacher. However, this is actually my first official “book” to publish. Well, actually, my first “anything” to publish. I’m honored that you have chosen to experience this historical event with me. Worship books have always been a huge part of my own personal time with God. Countless authors have come into my home and brought blessings beyond words. I’ve felt God’s nudging for quite some time now to pass along such blessings to others through a worship book of my own. So, here it is. Through story, modern parables, information, and inspiration, I am writing this book as a source of encouragement and blessing to you, the reader. It is my purpose and desire to bring hope to those feeling overwhelmed; a renewed purpose and relevance to those
ii feeling lost; and to inspire others to keep on keeping on in their grueling journey to better health and wellness. Life is our greatest teacher and can be our greatest motivator for change. It was for me. Life had brought me to a point of overwhelm. That overwhelm later led me to a search for new purpose and meaning. Finding that new purpose and meaning led me to completely redefining my life as a health and wellness coach. And my new calling as a health and wellness coach led me to this moment of writing this book for you. Amazing how that works, isn’t it? This book was written and tailored to meet the needs of each person who delves into its’ pages. And here’s why. We are all beings of need. We need health. We need connection. We need purpose. We need _____ (you fill in the blank). When life throws its curve ball of change or disappointment at us, our ability to have those needs met can also be thrown off balance. Thus, leaving us with an even greater need—that of finding a new wholeness of mind, body, and spirit. You may have been thrown off balance by such a curve ball yourself. Maybe you realize you need help navigating this unfamiliar territory you find yourself in today. And that’s where this book comes in! Although I am writing this book from the perspective of a health and wellness coach, this book is really about my Coach, who taught me everything I know. He set me on a path to discover how to get a complete wholeness in my life that at one point, I never thought I would ever have again. Yes, the best day of my life was the one when I chose Jesus as my Health and Wellness Coach. When I finally realized that I couldn’t do it alone, I turned to my coach and he took me on an amazing journey of discovery and recovery.
iii The great news is, Jesus is always taking on new clients! And he would love to be your coach. To be the one that can bring you to complete wholeness again. It is my prayer that this book will open up a new paradigm for you and a new way of thinking that will bless and change your life course. As for me, my coach has assured me that I don’t need to be a “professional” writer to share my story with others—I just need to stay connected to him. And I promise to do just that! So, what are we waiting for? It’s time to get “unstuck,” move out of your overwhelm and into your best life. With God as your coach, it’s time to Find Your Balance in a very Unbalanced World! Your Author, Teri Seiler
= 1 1 Bingin Balanc Bac I Êç½Ä’ã Ê this anymore. My breaks in between classes needed to be used for grading; for studying my scores and planning for upcoming concerts; for lesson planning or studying scripts or simply attending to the myriad of other duties I found myself on a deadline for. I tried my best to suppress the foreboding tears that waited close to the surface to be summoned and spilled at a moment’s notice, but to no avail. I rushed into the inner chamber of my choir room—a place that had become a refuge for me when these waves of emotion threatened to expose themselves in front of my students or the staff. I quietly and very intentionally shut the doors, as always, so no one would hear my sobs. And, although those doors served their intended purpose of temporarily hiding my pain from others, I am so grateful they failed to separate me from Jesus, the one that was there that day, collecting every tear. Through my desperation of soul, I had lost sight of the fact that there was someone who could still hear me. Someone who saw every hopeless tear I shed, felt every emotion I could
Finding Your Balance 2 no longer restrain, and heard every unspoken plea of my heart. But none of that was in my consciousness that day. I felt very alone, and God felt very far away. With my face buried deep in the palms of my hands, I searched for answers. Answers that, even if I had, would bring no solace. No good resolution. How did I get here? Why did I feel like I couldn’t stay another day in this job I loved so much? That was the irony of it all. This was a job I loved. One I had prayed for and waited years to finally get. One that I thought I would hold for the rest of my career. It was a perfect version of my calling. A calling that allowed me to combine music with ministry and affect the lives of my students in the context of a private Christian school setting. At this Christian school, I could speak freely about God and use music to impact the lives of others as it had mine. As a teacher, I found new purpose and meaning and a strong identity that I felt was who I was meant to be. But at this moment, as the tears flowed freely once again, I knew all those things were slowly slipping away. I was going into my fifth year of teaching when the tide began to turn for the worse. For the first time in my life, I began to have trouble sleeping. Often, I would wake up at night in full panic mode. Later, panic attacks would begin to plague me at all times of the day, and responsibilities that used to be inviting and fun now felt impossible to take on. No longer was I able to balance life’s most important things, and nothing seemed within my abilities to handle anymore. Overwhelm became my worst enemy, and I felt powerless to cope with the destruction it was leaving in its path. My physical health was declining; my emotional state was all over the board; my resilience was gone; and my ability
Bringing Balance Back 3 to handle life in general began to spill over and affect those I loved most and wanted most to care for. That was not acceptable to me. My family was my most treasured job. But the overwhelm had spilled over and was now washing over every area of my life. I didn’t understand it then, but I had experienced the all too real and much too underappreciated burnout. I had no knowledge or expertise in understanding the implications of burnout, but upon reading and research, I discovered that very few are able to recover without some type of drastic change in their circumstances or job. I learned that when someone truly experiences burnout, it can alter the course of their future and success in that area forever. I was devastated as I realized the only solution for me was to drastically change something or leave the situation altogether. Because of my love for the ministry, the kids, and the music, I held on tightly through this never-ending storm. I attempted to “change” everything I could so I wouldn’t have to leave. The school administration was so incredibly kind and empathetic and did everything they could on their end to help, but to no avail. Finally, eight years into my teaching, I realized that those changes were not enough. I would have to let go and I would have to say good-bye to the staff, to the students, and to my calling. My struggle to regain balance in my life didn’t come overnight. In fact, it became the theme of my journey back to health and the platform from which this book is now being written.
Finding Your Balance 4 The 8 Dimensions of Well-Being I promise to get back to the point of this chapter in just a minute, but with your permission, I want to briefly step out of my role as a writer and into my role as a health coach. Any time I refer to health throughout this book, I am always talking about the whole person which involves mind, body, and spirit. When even just one of these is thrown off balance, all will be affected. And that’s why, when considering the health of the whole person, I chose “balance” as my first chapter in this book. When there is a “working” equilibrium in our life between the various dimensions that make up our well-being, well, all is well. In coaching, I use an 8-dimensional well-being model (originally created by Dr. Peggy Swarbrick) that just happens to fit right in with our topic of balance in this chapter. We each have these 8 important dimensions in our lives, and the health of one directly affects the health of the other. Likewise, when any one of these is in a state of (to use coaching language) a state of reactive distress mode, it will no doubt have a negative impact on the other dimensions. Make sense? I’m sure this is too much information for what you’re looking for in a worship book, but if you will bear with me for just one more minute, I think you’ll see where I’m going with this. I am indeed going to get around to listing these 8 dimensions for you, but as I do, I want you to consider each one in the context of where that stands for you in the area of balance. Could one area be so dominating that it is creating reactive distress in others as well? Hmm. I’m thinking the answer to that is yes—that is, if you are truly human. Okay, here we go. The 8 dimensions are as follows: spiritual; physical; emotional; mental; vocational; social; environmental; and financial.
Bringing Balance Back 5 For me, it started with my need to do everything right or “perfect” in this new career and calling I had just begun, thus causing me to reside almost solely in my “vocational dimension.” And yes, as you might have guessed from the previous sentence, I am a perfectionist—a side of me that is hard to admit but even harder to live with (a topic, of course, for an entirely different book). Before I knew it, my laser-focused drive to do my job well began to take its toll on the other dimensions of my life. I was no longer paying attention to my physical health needs, which then directly affected my emotional needs, which eventually affected my social needs (I just didn’t “feel” like being around others), which then affected—well, I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. Point being, there came a time when what started the imbalance didn’t really matter anymore. They were pretty much ALL out of balance! When the first domino was hit and the falling cascade of dominoes began to fall one by one, I had but one dimension that I was determined would keep standing. One area of my life that I knew would be the one to rebuild on. The one that would set all others back in their place. The one that would be my anchor through this storm. That dimension was the spiritual dimension. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t struggle greatly with God on the why’s and what-now’s, but it did put me in a much different place of trust and dependence that I hadn’t been in before. And, it was this dimension—the spiritual—that would eventually help me find balance again in all the other dimensions of my life. I want to bring this idea of balance home for you, how it can be applied to your life, and how important balance is to your overall well-being.
Finding Your Balance 6 Glass Balls I learned through these past years that out of the many things we juggle in life, we have to see some as glass balls and others as rubber. The glass balls are those things that we hold of greatest importance in our life. If we drop these balls, they will break! Other things we juggle in life can easily be seen and treated as rubber balls. Ones that if dropped, can bounce back in time. Out of everything we juggle in life, each individual must determine for themselves what are the glass balls and what are rubber. For me, my connection with God has always been a glass ball. I knew it could break all too easily if I didn’t treat it with great care, especially during those most overwhelming times of my life. And today, I can share with you that it was indeed my connection with God that brought me back to purpose and meaning again, as well as renewed health and well-being in every other dimension of my life. So, what is out of balance for you? What dimension has started that cascade of falling dominoes, and which one still stands, if any? I want to challenge you today: if one of those dominoes that’s fallen is your relationship with Jesus, pick it up and place it as your first domino in rebuilding your life. Trust in the greatest coach out there to line everything back up in just the perfect order and perfect timing. He is a true artist that has the perfect plan for resetting your life into motion again with renewed purpose, energy, and health. From my own experience, I can promise you this: The different pieces will not be placed back in their rightful place overnight, and the order in which they are placed back in their
Bringing Balance Back 7 upright position may be different than expected. But when you start with the right piece (your spiritual connection with God), the finished product will indeed be a work of art that brings beauty once again to this world, your community, and your home. I’ll be giving you a text at the end of each chapter to add to your spiritual dimension arsenal that will begin to strengthen you on this journey of bringing balance and health back into your life. And I encourage you, as we move along together, to find your own text. Ones that will become most meaningful to You in your personal journey. Until then, however, I’m going to let you borrow some of mine that have gotten me through the toughest of times in my life. Sometimes some of the simplest of thoughts can bring us the most encouragement and joy. So, for that reason, this time I chose a text of few words but incredible comfort and deep unspoken meaning. As you face the daunting task of getting your life back in balance, your health restored, your spirit revived, your purpose renewed, your joy rediscovered—I want you to contemplate God’s first coaching counsel for you …...
“Be still , and know that I am God!” Psalm 46:10
Bringing Balance Back 9 Author’s Prayer: Jesus, with so much out of balance in this world and in our lives, I want to take a moment to stop, be still, and remember You are God. This is where I need to begin again. Just you and me. When everything is so out of my control, it brings me such comfort to remember that you, the God of the Universe, creator of all things, and lover of my soul, can handle it. Let me just rest in that knowledge right now, Lord. Let me just start there, even when I have no idea what the next step should be. It doesn’t matter! Right now, in this moment, I am still. And right now, in this moment I remember, YOU ARE GOD. Amen.