Soundtracks Of My Life

SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles

In 2008. Carlos re-joined the chorus. I would
accompany him on Monday nights to rehearsal and sat in
the back enjoying the sounds and the beautiful
camaraderie they all shared with each other. I was part of
a group, though not officially, who welcomed guest
artists from time to time. Every now and then I would
bring some goodies, or maybe a meal for the guys
because I knew many of them came directly from their
jobs and didn’t have time to eat. I would bring spaghetti,
chili, barbecue sandwiches, cookies...I enjoyed doing that
and the guys seemed appreciative.

I decided it was time for me to join the chorus’ “5th
Section”. It’s a non singing membership. Carlos sang. I
didn't. I was made to feel at home with 250 men who
shared this love of music and love of each other. I
listened from afar as they prepared for an upcoming
concert. I enjoyed the time as a non-singing member
because it truly made me feel like a part of the chorus.

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles

Carlos says I already was because of my frequent visits at
rehearsal. The guys got to know me, I got to know them.

Usually at every show, a guest artist performed with
us; We’ve seen the likes of Jennifer Holliday, Lily
Tomlin, Jerry Herman...Melissa Manchester...so many
others I can’t recall off hand.

One Monday evening, our guest was Leann Rimes,
famed country / western artist who was to be our guest at
an upcoming concert entitled “Fade To Blue.” Leann was
warm and down to earth with all the guys. This happened
to be one evening when I brought some homemade chili
for break time.

When break time came, Leann had eaten 2 bowls of
chili and came to me and called me by name (how she
knew is a mystery) but she said, “Mike, I’m from Texas
and I have to tell you, this is some of the best chili I’ve
ever eaten.” How wonderful to have that kind of
compliment.

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles

This was on Monday, June 18, 2012. I know the date
because that Thursday, the 21st, was when I suffered a
serious eye issue and it was just the day before the chorus
concert at the Saban Theater in Beverly Hills. This
emergency caused me great consternation because I was
blinded in the right eye. The next day, Friday, I managed
to get myself to the show in the afternoon / evening and
before the show, I went backstage to see my friend
Michael to tell him about the eye. Leann was there
chatting with the boys, and I guess she saw the look of
despair on my face and came up to me and said, “Mike,
what’s wrong??” I explained the eye situation to her
which greatly moved her. I asked her to dedicate one of
her songs to me (to kind of make me feel better) and she
said as much as she’d love to, she can’t because she’d
start bawling on stage. She was so compassionate with
her hugs and understanding about the eye problem and
that really made me feel good.

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles

One particular Christmas show at the Alex, our guest
was Melissa Manchester. I always felt when we had
special guests, that as part of the group, unless told
otherwise, I would try and introduce myself to the guest.
Melissa was such a hit for the audience and a very warm
lady.

As we left the theater after the show, Carlos and I
walked in the parking lot towards our car, and loading
her car up with her personal things, was Melissa. She was
by herself at her car, so Carlos and I stopped and chatted
with her for a few minutes. I hope that by doing that, she
was made to feel welcomed and perhaps return
sometime. She said she would.

After a couple of years of being in the “fifth section”,
I was convinced to try out as a singing member. It was
scary because I hadn't sung for some time so I was very
nervous at the audition. I knew I wouldn’t be able to read
the music; I knew I'd be off-key. I knew it wasn’t the
right time for me, but I went anyway. Carlos was very

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles

supportive of me so we went to the audition and I met
with the director and the section leaders. "OK, which one
of you is Simon?" I asked, referring to Simon Crowell of
American Idol. When I walked in they were all there
sitting at a table that reminded me of the judges on
America’s Got Talent. I knew the audition had 3 parts: A
solo with musical accompaniment, singing with the
piano, and reading music. My solo was “Many Tears
Ago” (Connie Francis song). Afterwards, I was asked to
repeat some of the piano notes played. So far I felt good
about both those parts. Then I was given sheet music to a
song I had never heard of. I did fine with the simple notes
but when I was asked to sing 3 bars of notes that were so
close together I thought it was a misprint. They were 32nd
notes. Mikie don’t do 32nd notes. I made mincemeat out
of those notes. I'd tell you what they were musically but I
doubt you'd understand. (they were not 1/2 or 1/4 notes.
They were 1/32 notes, which means there were 32 beats
to the bar). I was unable to read the music because I

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles

hadn't for so long. I knew by the end of the audition I had
blown it. There was no question.

I got a note from one of the leaders a couple of
days later…the proverbial "don't call us…and we won't
call you" I had never failed musically at anything in my
life so it was kind of a blow to my ego…but in a matter
of a couple of days, I got over it.

There were so many chorus performances that I
was so pleased and proud to be a member of; I always
wore the same outfits the singing members wore, and I
was always part of the usher crew and welcoming to the
guests, ticket sales, etc. It was an important role that the
5th section handled and concert time was busy time. It
was fun to meet the guests, fun to be a part of the group.

Every year, usually in July, the chorus hosted a
membership dinner. It was a fun time to get together for
dinner with about 300 guys, watch an incoming and
outgoing president and officers, and in general, a great
time for everyone. One award in particular was the “Atta

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Girl” award, presented to the member who generally
went above and beyond in some way.One evening at a
dinner, my name was called for an “Atta Girl” award, for
bring the chili a few months before and for all the
goodies I’d brought. I won a second “Atta Girl” award
that night, the first in the history of the chorus, for one
person to win 2 awards the same night. The other award
was for trying to sell a portable commode on the chorus’
website. It never sold but the team thought it was
hysterical that I tried to do that, so I was awarded for that
as well. This was the kind of nonsense that made being a
part of the chorus so much fun.

In July, 2014 I was hospitalized for a few weeks
with a fractured and replaced left hip. Many of the guys
either came to the hospital to visit, or to bring food, or
call to check up on me. When I was transferred to a rehab
facility, several of the guys drove the distance to come
visit me. It was simply amazing to get that kind of
attention.

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles

I was released from rehab on July 23, 2014 and it
was important to me that I be out of rehab because the
following Saturday, the 26th, was the chorus dinner and I
was determined to be there. I was only 2 weeks out of
surgery but it was important to be there.

Carlos and I drove to West Hollywood for the
dinner and arrived early. As I sat in my wheelchair
everyone came up to me to see how I was, to give me
hugs and kisses, to welcome me back. Once inside,
MORE guys came up to me. I couldn’t keep them off me.
There was an actual line forming of guys waiting their
turn to hug me and welcome me back. It was one of the
most memorable and emotional times I ever had.

Carlos and I remained in the chorus until 2017. As
the demands of the music became more difficult for him,
and my hearing loss prevented me from enjoying what I
once heard, we both felt it was time to say our good-byes.

It’s another chapter in my life’s book that has come
to a close, but during those 6 years, I made some of the

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles

best friends I have ever known in such a short period of
time.

The times I spent as a member of GMCLA were
times I will cherish the rest of my days. I was part of a
family - a group of over 250 men - who shared mutual
loves: First of music, and then of each other. I miss them.

Goodbye Joe. Goodbye Chris. Goodbye Michael.
Goodbye Alex. Goodbye Mark. Goodbye Tod.

Goodbye our boys. Our friends. Our Monday
nights.

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE Contrafactum 

Contrafactum (or contrafact, pl. contrafacta): "the
substitution of one text for another without substantial

change to the music"

What a great word. I “contrafact” he, she or it
“confratacts”. We have “contrafacted”.

I used to just say “I’ve rewritten the words to this
popular song.” Or, “sing the song with these lyrics.” I
never knew there was a name for it.

But...I have contrafacted many songs over the
years. It’s the poetry in motion in me. I guess I’m the
Weird Al Yankovich of the family but I really do love to

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE Contrafactum 

make rhymes, write poetry, create stuff I’m proud of...or
be made fun of or was laughed at.

Why do people contrafact? Well, because they can
It sounds like a word that can be used sexually,
medically, philosophically...lots of uses.

“Honey, would you like to contrafact later on?”
“Doctor, is there anything I can take for this?”

“Well yes. I can prescribe Contrafactum,
three times a day and it will clear that right
up.”
You get the idea.
So here are a few songs I have contrafacted. Even
if you don’t know the melody, you might be able to
maybe make one up in your head as you read the poetry
behind them.
First up on your contrafacted hit parade, is “Where
The Boys Are”. When I was performing publicly, I
always tried to include a Connie Francis song because as

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I said earlier, at one time she was a favorite. I still enjoy

her music from yesteryear, and this was a song, actually

that I didn’t like, but the words came pretty easy so I

rewrote it:

Where The Boys Are 
Michael Dardenelle  
rewritten 
 
Where the boys are 
What a stupid song 

I don’t know why, it’s just that I 
Don’t even try to sing along 
 
Where the boys are,  
It's not meant for me 
It’s just a song, 
The words are wrong 

It’ll never be what it should be. 
 

Other songs sung by Connie Francis 
I’d love to sing for you 
As you can tell 
I would get some glances 
So this song won’t do 
 
Till I find one 
A song that's meant to be 
Where the boys are 

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Where the boys are 
Where the boys are… 

 
It’s not meant for me 

“Thanks Again” is a country song by Ricky
Skaggs from 1988. It’s a very moving song of the artist
thank his mom and dad for bring him up right, and
providing, and always being there. It was a tribute to
them.

I loved the song and the meaning, and when I was
so terribly ill in 1996, I recorded my album, “Music With
A Message” that included the rewrite I did.

A friend of mine in England heard me sing it, and
she asked if she could use it for her daughter to sing. Her
daughter was performing locally in London, and was
recovering from cancer and she wanted to thank
everyone for being part of her life and her recovery. I
gladly said yes. She sent me a DVD of the performance,
and I was beyond touched that one of MY songs was

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performed by someone else. I was amazed. She did a

beautiful job of the song and the interpretation.

I was blown away.

Here is “Thanks Again”

Thanks Again
Michael Dardenelle

Rewritten 1996

I’ve spent more years and many tears,
So many more than you’ll ever see
And while it comes from theart,
It all falls short
Of saying how special you are to me.

It wasn’t I had closed my eyes
Thinking and wondering, I realized

Putting the pieces together now
That I’m gonna get through this,

Some way, somehow….

So thanks again
For being there with me
Through all of the changes that I’ve been through

Thanks again
For your constantly caring
For all your support, and for all that you do

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For being there with me,
When nights were so long.

For making things right
When they seemed to go wrong.

To my wonderful dearest friends,
I just have to say it,
Thanks again.

I’m still a young man, ‘least I think I am
But I’m not about to give up this fight
With the help from above, and friends who love
You all have a way of making things right

So, thanks again for worryin’ about me
You never did doubt me, you’re always there
Thanks again, for the help that you gave me
Your cards and your calls and the way that you care.

The kindness you’d show, when I was so low
Those times you said “yes”

When you could have said “no”

To my beautiful life long friends,
I just have to say it,
Thanks Again

You’re my beautiful life long friends
I can’t say enough…Thanks again.

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE Contrafactum 

Country singer Kathy Mattea sang her hit,
“Where’ve You Been?” that was released in November,
1989. She won a Grammy Award for her performance.

The song is about two lovers, Edwin and Claire. It
uses three interpretations of the phrase "where've you
been?", all spoken by Claire toward Edwin in various
situations. In the first verse, she asks him where he has
been all her life; in the second, she asks him where he has
been after coming home late one night; and in the third,
the two are elderly hospital patients: Claire has "lost her
memory" of family and friends, and close to death, asks
Edwin upon seeing him, "where've you been?"

This song is very touching, very moving, very
emotional. It wasn’t as difficult to rewrite it as it was to
record it. This was a tough one. My version is about
losing my dad in 1989 and recorded the year after for my
album “My Father And Me” and tells the story of my dad
in his younger years, marrying then having children then
quietly passing away in October, 1989. 

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Where’ve You Gone? 
Michael Dardenelle
Rewritten 1990

He had a childhood, all his own
He kept his mem’ries all alone
He never shared his childhood days
With those he loved so many ways

He left his home, his family life
And soon thereafter, found a wife

Where’ve you gone?
I miss you more with every passing day

Where’ve you gone?
I’m just not myself when you’re away.

He joined the Navy, saw the world
Got married to
a Navy girl.

They settled down, they had their fun
And soon thereafter had a son.

And two years later, so it seems,
Another son had filled their dreams.

Where’ve you gone?
I miss you more with every passing day

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Where’ve you gone?
I’m just not myself when you’re away.

They never spent much time apart,
Together over forty years

She love the man with all her heart
But now she cries a million tears.

He kept his problems from his wife
Just like he did for all his life

A gentle man we loved each day
But then one evening passed away

I never wondered if he knew
How much we love him and still do.

Where’ve you gone?
I miss you more with every passing day

Where’ve you gone?
I’m just not myself when you’re away.

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE Contrafactum 

“Trashy Women” by Confederate Railroad is based

on how the song's narrator describes that he likes his

women "just a little on the trashy side," and shares

various stories and explanations of why he does. One of

these is a story about his parents being surprised at the

fact that his prom date was a "cocktail waitress in a Dolly

Parton wig".

Well, on the rewrite, I had to “gay” mine up a

little. I had heard this performed by a gay country singer,

whose name I can’t remember. I knew the song, but he

did his own rewrite and I thought it was hysterical. Years

later, not remembering the words he sang, I rewrote my

own version.

I used to sing it, mostly alone, sometimes using a

hairbrush as my microphone, alone in my bedroom. And

as much as I wanted to, it was never recorded. Never had

the time.

But it’s stuck in my mind.

Here is “Trashy Fellas”

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Trashy Fellas
A rewrite of Trashy Women

Michael Dardenelle
Date unknown

Well I was raised in a sophisticated kind of style.
Yeah, my taste in people and my music
drove my folks half wild

Mom and Dad had a plan for me
But it turned out different, eventually
‘Cause I like the fellas and I like ‘em on the trashy side.

Yeah, I like the fellas just a little on the trashy side
Showing muscle and skin and wearin’ 501s a bit too tight

Handsome face, bulgin arms
They really know how they can show me their charms

Yeah I like the fellas just a little on the trashy side.

Well you should’a seen the looks
On the faces of my dad and mom
When I showed up later with my date to the senior prom

They said, “pardon me son, but that ain’t no kid.
He’s got a little bitty butt and a crotch that’s really big”

And I said “I know it Dad, ain’t he cool??
That’s the kind I dig.

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Yeah, I like the fellas just a little on the trashy side
Showing muscle and skin and wearin’ 501s a bit too tight

Bulgin’ arms, handsome face
I really love it and they make my heart race
Yeah I like the fellas just a little on the trashy side.

Yeah I like ‘em sweet, and I like ‘em with a heart of gold
Yeah, I like ‘em brassy, I like ‘em brazen and bold
They say opposites attract, but I don’t agree
I want a guy who’s just as trashy as me
Yeah I like the fellas just a little on the trashy side.

Yeah, I like the fellas just a little on the trashy side
Showing muscle and skin and wearin’ 501s a bit too tight

Handsome face, bulgin arms
They really know how they can show me their charms

Yeah I like the fellas just a little on the trashy side.

Yeah, I like the fellas
And I like ‘em on the trashy side.

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE Contrafactum 

In June, 1973, Frank Sinatra released “Let Me Try
Again” written by Paul Anka and Sammy Cahn. A young
lover pleads to be reunited with his first love, asking for
forgiveness. The lyrics are moving and Sinatra does the
song justice in his plea to win back his love.

Actually the first time I ever heard the song was
done by an artist who had been away from the stage, and
this was the opening number, asking the audience to “Let
Me Try Again” (to win back your love and loyalty)

My heart was hurting when I rewrote these lyrics. I
had just lost my hearing and my ability to sing (you can’t
sing if you can’t hear yourself). I was aching to be able to
produce my music once again, and while I’ve adjusted to
this horrible horrible condition, nothing can take away
the memories of my music over my lifetime.

Mine is written to win back my love of my music
and my ability to hear it again. I never recorded it.

If only…

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Let Me Try Again
Michael Dardenelle

Rewritten

I thought that I was really leaving
But I just couldn’t say goodbye

It was only self-deceiving
To give it up and walk away
From something I loved every day

My music running through my mind
I never thought again I’d find

Let me try again, let me try again
I think of all I had before
I’ve got to try once more

I can do it all, if I really try
I’ll take it one day at a time,

But let me try again.

You never realize you’re lonely
Until you thought you’d lost it all

I could try again if only

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The music that I used to hear
Came back again so loud and clear

Alternate verse
I used to spend my time without you

I thought i’d really lost it all
Every day i’d think about you
I know i have to start anew
I know I must come back to you

I know it may not be the same
I know there’s no one I can blame

Let me try again, let me try again
I think of all I had before
I’ve got to try once more.

I can do it all, I know I really can
I’ll take it one day at a time
But let me try again.

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The last one I present to you is not rewritten. It’s

an original called “Sunflower” and while the lyrics are

mine, the melody isn’t. It’s an instrumental by Mason

Williams and is so easy and breezy and the words, well,

just fit. It was recorded and the master recordings have

been lost.

Sunflower
Michael Dardenelle

Lyricist

Lonely Sunflower
All alone, in the night

Lonely Sunflower,
while you wait

For the dawn's early light

With your pedals soft,
Lovely petals soft
you greet the morn

Lovely sunflower
Not alone
Anymore

You’re beautiful
Beautiful
Evermore.

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So there you have a few examples of what I like to
do. I’ve been doing this as long as I can remember and
it’s a great stress reliever.

Contrafactum.
Great word, huh?

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE The Fat Lady Has Sung

Amalie Materna

The Fat Lady Has Sung
At this point, I don't know that there is much more to
write about, musically speaking, but it does keep you up
to date with my dearest pastime...my passion...my life.
Memories...like the corners of my mind... are really
something. I may not be able to sing right now...or
possibly anymore...but nothing or not anyone can take
away the memories I have of my music.
I love to sing. I love my music.

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SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE The Fat Lady Has Sung

Let this be my epitaph:

The record shows, I took the blows,
And did it my way.

(And for those of you who know me…)
Yes, this was MY WAY.

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