MariBook

Dear god,

it's Mari.

why am i so brown?



"It smells like a picture book."



"My wedding invitations will have
nymphs and vikings drawn on them

in watercolors."

"Get your fantasies straight!"



"I don't like him very much anymore, so I'm gonna get some pie."

"Who needs a boyfriend
when you can have a fort?"

Mari:
"I like you."

Bella:
"You're my sister.
You have to like me."

Mari:
"I don't HAVE to like you."

"I'm gonna get you a gerbil with ADD."



Mari:
"The person who loses
gets fed to the lions."

Bella:
"We don't have any lions."

Mari:
"I do."



"Live every week like it's
Shark Week."

"Why don't you give me that oven mitt?"

"Also, I put some magic in the chicken."

""When you don't have boobs you have to fight about everything!"

"I don't believe in comebacks.
I believe in a quick kill."

"This isn't funny. It's a tragedy."

"It was a different time, Ma!
And you guys are way more Mexican

than I am!"

"Have goat. Will travel."

"Are there water buffaloes in Latin American countries?"

"I figured out the boobage,
but I need some double stick tape."

"Awwww! Let's get married! I'll be Kate Middleton, you'll be Prince William!"

"I like marmalade, moonalade, farmalade..."

"The closer you're standing to a
football, the more money you get.

That's how high school works."

"They just poet around."

"Look, I like my characters to die in order of cuteness."

"Is this an existential or a digestive
issue? Like, are you really questioning

the meaning of life or do you just
have an upset stomach?"



"Anthemic and dramatic, almost operatic?"

"Don't make any sudden movements.
I have tea."

Mari:
"You'd have a white collar job
with the added risk of dinosaurs."

Bella:
"They could see
into your high rise office."

Mari:
"And into your soul."

"My inherent frugalism."

"That looks really severe. Are you sure you're not going to need a stitch?"

"Actually,
the

oldest
giraffe

in
captivity

is
me."

"It's the Twist!
Move your hips!
You have them!

Okay, apparently you don't."

"She likes Obama, the Dalai Llama, and shoes.
That's all I know."

"There's no place like bacon."

"Do you want to be the pirate or the park ranger?
Argh! Happy trails!"

"I'm a frosted flake!"

"Ew. Gross. That's really cute."

"It's like the cutest dead thing I've ever seen."

"It's a murderous knife-wielding elephant."

"Oh, hey there, random pastry."

Bella:
"Are you engaged?"

Mari:
"Yeah. Definitely."

Bella:
"Does he know this?"

Mari:
"Not yet."