RANDBURG RAMBLINGS

RANDBURG RAMBLINGS

November 2014

MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT

Dear Fellow Member of the Randburg Family,
I would like to apologise for the length of time it has taken since the last newsletter; your new team of
scribes will attempt to get one out every 2 months.
Another bowls year has come and gone and we are in the midst of another league season together
with all the moans about selections. Whilst some of these moans might be justified, please remember
that the majority of the selectors were elected by YOU and that they are doing the best for the club.
Let us all go out there and represent Randburg to the best of our ability, remembering at all times why
we play sport - for the enjoyment thereof. Yes, winning is nice; yes, getting promoted would be great -
but not at the expense of enjoyment.
As can be seen in the picture below, some of the selectors have physical problems so please be
understanding of them.

The Wailing Wall (or the Selectors’ Lament)
They beat their breasts and cried out loud,
As they faced the northern wall,
Where the selectors had placed the team selections
On the notice board was their call.
There were some that swore and some that cried,
And some who stood and muttered,
Some were proud, some were coy,
And others merely stuttered.
There were voices raised in anger,
Shrill screams split the air,
There were those who didn't say a thing,
Because they really did not care.
"I won’t play with him," one said,
"He's a bloody hopeless skip."
And one who very quietly said,
"It's time I took my trip."

There were many self selections,
There were lots of "bloody hells!"
There weren't very many
Who said the selectors had done well.

The players knew who should be there,
They knew who to pick,
Just ask them when you hear them say,
"That selector is a PR………….!"

Each year the tears get deeper,
As on the floor they fall,
From those who stand in anguish,
Before the Wailing Wall.

We are but your selectors,
Trying to do our best,
For those who can do better,
Let’s see you pass the test.

We had a successful A.G.M. which was extremely well attended; thank you to all of you. I believe that
this is a sign of a healthy club where the members take the trouble to show an interest in the club
happenings. It is good when we see the number of elections that took place - all signs of a healthy
club.

I would like to congratulate Kevin Celliers on being voted the club person of the year, an award I feel is
richly deserved. To all of the other prize-winners: congratulations on your achievements. Go out there
now and surpass your achievements of last season.

The Executive Committee members that you elected are all hard at work in their various portfolios,
thus ensuring that Randburg runs like a well-oiled machine. The Committee and their functions are as
follows:

President Yours truly was conned into serving a 3rd term. I will be doing nothing.
Vice President Alan Durrett will be assisting me in the general running and
administration of the club, as well as helping out with the management of
the staff.

Secretary Luscious Lavinia will be doing her normal secretarial duties, which she
has done so efficiently for the past 2 years.

Treasurer The elected treasurer Ron Geall resigned from the committee and from the
club. I would like to thank Vera Taylor who stepped in to fill the gap. Well
done Vera. I can assure you all that our finances are in very safe hands.
Vera, you are doing a great job, thank you again.

Men’s and Ladies Captains Sue Clark will once again be filling the role of Ladies Captain, and has in
this capacity organised a number of meetings, workshops, get-togethers
and practices. I am sure that all of these will help our lady bowlers on the
green, as well as boosting morale. Well done Sue, keep it up. On the men’s
side, unfortunately Steve Wilsenach who was elected Men’s Captain took
very ill, initially with a stroke. But subsequently, additional strokes and a
diagnosis of cancer mean that Steve will no longer be able to fulfil this
function. Our thoughts and prayers are with Steve, Cilla, Don and their
families at this difficult time.
Thanks to Mike Cann who has stepped in to perform this function. Mike
has introduced a 2-bowl pairs competition this season and will continue in
the Men’s Captain’s role.

Elected Committee Terry Turner – Terry will be running the development function within the

club - a vital one if the club and our beloved sport are to grow. December
16th is the first of many such days when we are hoping to attract many

potential new bowlers and show them how much fun bowls can be. I urge

all of you to try to get some visitors to this day. Terry will also be running
the fund raising portfolio, where the main emphasis will be on the
perimeter advertising that we started selling last year. If we are able to sell
24 of these adverts, it will mean that there is an income of R100,000.00
per annum that we can use in developing the club’s infrastructure and
bowls in general here.

Ray Turner will be in charge of entertainment and the club bar. The
controls that Ray has implemented in the operation of the bar (with the
help of Denis Higginson) will ensure that our profit margins are maximised
and controlled. As indicated, Ray will be running a full entertainment
programme, including Quiz Nights, Musical Quiz, Carpet Bowls, Karaoke,
Donkey Derby, Bingo, and many more. Once again I urge all of you to
support these functions; not only does it create a lovely vibe in the club,
but it helps us all to get to know our fellow members.

Lawrence Hillery is in charge of clubhouse maintenance, as well as being
the “ears” for the general members.

Shirley McCamlie will be co-ordinating the catering function with our new
caterer - more about this later - as well as co-ordinating hall hire, which is
a very important revenue generator for the club.

I am totally confident that with this committee your club is in good hands and they will continue to
guide the club from strength to strength.

P.R.

I have established a very good contact at the Randburg Sun and have managed to get a number of
articles published in that newspaper and on their website. I believe that these articles are a major
contributor to our club’s increased “presence” in the community, and to the number of new bowlers we
are attracting. I will continue to ensure that whenever possible the happenings at our club get
coverage.

CLUB HAPPENINGS

In the last couple of months there have been numerous activities at the club,
most of them were very well supported. These included:

Karaoke, Quiz, Halloween Quiz, Donkey Derby and many more: a great deal of effort has gone into
organising these events so please make sure you support them. The fun, fellowship, jocularity and
teambuilding that happens there is incredible. To Ray, Jannie de Beer, Karaoke King and anybody who
has put effort into organising these functions: a very big THANK YOU.

Terry and Ray Turner and Jannie showed great initiative by introducing a carpet bowls league during
the off season. A great deal of fun was had by those who did take part. I am sure that this will become
a permanent fixture in the off season calendar. Let’s all support it and have a lot of fun. Thank you to
Terry, Ray and Jannie.

A big thank you too, goes to Lawrence Hillery who organised a fantastic clean up and maintenance day
in October. This was very well attended and a lot was accomplished. This support and enthusiasm from
our members is why we have a club that we can be proud of.

We have had the first of what will become a once a month feedback session. This will be your
opportunity to get general feedback from the committee as to what is happening at YOUR club. It is
also your opportunity to raise any concerns or complaints that you might have. Please use this
opportunity to communicate with us. It is only through constant feedback both ways that we can grow
as a club.

The annual International Challenge was once again a major success when the Springboks exacted
defeat on the Internationals. A great deal of fun was had by all and we received great coverage in the
local press.

GREENS

A big thank you must go to Kevin and his team. They have done a fantastic job in preparing the greens
during the off season and we have had a number of compliments on their quality.
Our greens are the lifeblood of our – and that of any other – club and when we play away we can see
how truly blessed we are in having quality greens. For this reason it is vital that we look after them.
When Kevin and his team set up “B” green for Tabs, this is for a specific reason: to play the green in.
It will never have constant lines until it has been played in. There have been instances where our
members have taken it upon themselves to move the games onto the “A” green. Please can we respect
the Green keeper enough to allow him to make the decision as to which greens to use.
Similarly, with the recent inclement weather we’ve had, it might be necessary to close the greens. This
is not done because we do not want to play – it’s done to protect the surfaces. I have had members
questioning me about the Green keeper’s or the committee’s decisions. I will always support protecting
our greens. Let’s not be like other clubs and totally lose our greens because of stupidly playing on
them when they are too wet.

CATERING

As I am sure all of you know by now, Mike and Louise Steen have left us to take up a fantastic
opportunity in Hazyview. We are, however, very pleased to welcome Christy from Kombuis Caterers
who has slotted in very well. I can vouch for the quality of her food. Please, can we all support her in
her new venture; you will receive a good value meal and the food is great.

ON THE GREEN

Towards the back end of last season Randburg had a successful run in competitions and the following
people are to be congratulated:

In the Gauteng Open, Dylan Stafford and Allan Gordon lost a nail biter in the semi finals of the
pairs.

Dylan Stafford, Allan Gordon, Anselm McLean, Stuart Cook and Kevin Celliers all contributed in
getting through to the quarter finals of the Gauteng Open fours competition.
In the JBA fours, Dylan Stafford, Allan Gordon, Mark Ryan and Anselm McLean won through to
the semi finals. (Ryan Smith played in the group stages).
Dylan Stafford was selected to play in the JBA Presidents Cup where he did very well by only
losing his section by 1 shot over 5 games.
Allan Gordon is to be congratulated in once again being selected for the Men’s National Senior
side where they won the gold medal in the recent Triangular in Namibia.
In the current season’s JBA open trips, Anselm McLean, Dave Naughton and Mark Naughton
won their section. In the senior trips, Bev Harrison, Kevin Celliers and Glenn Macaskill have won
through to the quarter finals.

Well done to all these players - you did Randburg proud.

During the off season we played in the annual Presidents’ Challenge against Honeydew. An enjoyable
afternoon was had where we only lost by a couple of shots. Let us win the trophy back next year.

League has started with the normal mixed results and the usual crises where the selectors have to find
replacements at the last minute. As we stand now the position is as follows:

The Ladies sides are lying in 11th Position, 7th Position 1st Position, and 7th Position respectively.
The Men’s sides are lying in 10th Position, 8th Position, 1st Position, and 11th Position respectively.
The Pennant side is lying in 4th Position.

I am sure as the season settles down these positions will improve so keep on flying the Randburg flag.
Remember that sportsmanship must prevail at all times and also remember that the league must be
enjoyed.

Thank you to Rhona Mallinick and Michael Webber who have taken on the unenviable job of being
competition secretaries. The job is a tough one so please support them by playing your comps when
you are carded.

NEW MEMBERS.

As I have often spoken about, we as a club need to bolster our membership in order to ensure that we
survive in the future. To this end we have done very well. I would like to introduce the following new
members of our club in recent months:

Glen Greenway, Michael Wells, Trevor Coleman, Jackie Cheeseman, Donald Askham, Jenny and Rob
Briscoe (returned to being full playing members from Linden), Paul Brand, Denise Brand, Jeff Livesey,
Fouche Burger, Jason Major, Mike Sorour, Jimmy Frost, Paul Slabbert, Brian Penfold, Billy Pile, Janice
Cook, Tommy Benade.

Welcome to all of you; I trust you will have many years of happy bowling in Randburg colours. To all
our current members, let’s ensure that we make all our new ones feel welcome and part of the family.

I have also often spoken about complacency. We have to, as a club, ensure that we constantly strive to
attract new members who will fit into the Randburg culture, in order to grow our club and our sport. A
number of fun or open days will be organised in this regard so please make sure that you make every
effort to bring new blood into the club.

It would be remiss of me if I did not congratulate Glenn “Slider” Macaskill for the great effort he is
making in coaching the majority of all the new bowlers. Glenn, this is really appreciated. Thank you.

I am extremely proud to be a Randburg member - as each and every one of you should be. Go out
there, do Randburg proud, but above all enjoy this wonderful game.

Yours in Bowls
Laurie

SLIDER’S GLOSSARY OF LAWN BOWLING TERMS

Blockhead: Bowler who delivers nothing but short bowls.

Foot Fault: Surreptitious use of the foot to adjust the position of the jack or a bowl during play.

Perfect End: Your skip applauded at least one of your bowls during the end.

Stand and Deliver: Stand upright when launching your bowl, thus ensuring that a few bounces will occur to control
the momentum of the bowl.

Too much grass: Common source of a bowler’s slurred speech and erratic play.

Vice: Illegal or inappropriate activity on the green or in the clubhouse.

Shot: What skips sometimes think their Second ought to be.

Wick: Your bowl fortuitously canons off another bowl and becomes ‘shot’. You will feign no surprise as your team
mates loudly proclaim ‘well-bowled’ or ‘brilliant’, and your opponents quietly mutter ‘bloody fluke’.

Excellent Delivery: A fresh supply of beer has arrived at the clubhouse.

Guard: A foot planted in the opposing player’s line.

Lead (pronounced ‘led’): The contents of a bag of bowls when carried by hand from parking lot to green.

Second: Time elapsed between releasing a bowl and realizing it was delivered with the wrong bias.

Burned End: Result of sitting on a dark bench on a hot day.

Short: The unfortunate temper of some skips.

The above did not come from Glenn ‘Slider’ Macaskill but they are really humorous. Surely he would have liked to
use them in his newly published and well recommended bowls book titled “Bowls – Quirks, Chirps and Anecdotes”.
Please contact Glenn if you’re interested and would like more information about the book.

END PIECE

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on
his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This
made him (wait for it)……a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.