100-KIDS-JOKES (1)

100+ KIDS JOKES Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno your business
Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?
A: It had a blue tooth. Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: Pork Chop
Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot. Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will let it go
Q: How do you get a tissue to dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it Q: What is the smartest kind of bee?
A: A spelling bee
Q: Why did they quit giving tests at the zoo?
A: Because it was full of cheetahs Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: They use a honey comb
Q: Why is a bad joke like a pencil?
A: Because it has no point Q: What do you get when you cross an
elephant and a potato?
Q: Where do polar bears keep their money? A: Mashed potatoes
A: A snow bank.
Q: What do you call an old snowman?
Q: What room can no one enter? A: Water
A: A mushroom
Q: Why is a baseball stadium always cool?
Q: What kind of key can never unlock a A: It is full of fans
door?
A: A monkey Q: Why did Santa go to music school?
A: So he could improve his wrapping skills
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck Q: Why couldn’t the pirate learn the
alphabet?
Q: Why do graveyards have a fence around A: Because he was always lost at C
them?
A: Because people are dying to get in. Q: What did the man say when he walked
into a bar?
Q: What did the cheerleader say to the A: Ouch!
ghost?
A: Show your spirit. Q: What are the strongest days of the week?
A: Saturday and Sunday. Every other day is
Q: What did one eye say to the other? a weekday
A: Between you and me something smells.
Q: What goes tick-tock and woof-woof?
Q: What do you call fake noodles? A: A watchdog
A: Im-pasta
Q: What do you call a monkey that loves
Q: How does the ocean say hello? potato chips?
A: It waves A: A chipmonk

Q: What do you call cheese that is not
yours?
A: Nacho cheese

100+ KIDS JOKES

Q: What did the girl ocean say to the boy Q: What word starts with E and has only one
ocean when he asked her out on a date? letter in it?
A: Shore A: Envelope.

Q: Why do shoemakers go to heaven? Q: Why is dark spelled with a K and not a C?
A: Because the have good soles A: Because you can’t see in the dark.

Q: What did one plate say to another plate? Q: How many tickles does it take to make an
A: Dinner is on me octopus laugh?
A: Ten tickles
Q: Why did they bury the battery?
A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the kid throw the clock out the
window?
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on A: He wanted to see time fly.
your fence?
A: Time to get a new fence Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: It wasn’t peeling well.
Q: Why don’t dinosaurs eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny Q: What kind of tree can fit into your hand?
A: A palm tree!
Q: Why did the girl throw a stick of butter?
A: She wanted to see a butter fly Q: How can you tell that a tree is a dogwood
tree?
Q: What did the finger say to thumb? A: By its bark!
A: I’m in glove with you
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Q: What has only one eye, but still can’t A: A Gummy Bear
see?
A: A needle Q: Why did the skeleton go to the dance
alone?
Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? A: He had no body to go with him!
A: He wanted to go to high school.
Q: Why did the students eat their homework?
Q: What do you call a cow with three legs? A: Because the teacher told them that it was
A: Lean beef a piece of cake.

Q: Want me to tell you a joke about pizza? Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: Sorry, it is too cheesy. A: Stick with me, and we will go places!

Q: Why was the broom late? Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class
A: It overswept. to the pumpkin patch?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of
pants? Q: What’s another name for a clever duck?
A: In case he got a hole in one. A: Wise quacker!

Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens? Q: Why did the man run around his bed?
A: They kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach.” A: To catch up on his sleep.

100+ KIDS JOKES

Q: Why didn’t the baby skeleton cross the Q: What can you catch but not throw?
road alone? A: A cold!
A: Because his mummy was not there!
Q: What has hands but can’t clap?
Q. What do you call a cow with no legs? A: A clock!
A. Ground beef.
Q: What do you call a dog that can tell time?
Q: What did the buffalo say to his kid when A: A watch dog!
he dropped him off for school?
A: Bison. Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
A: The snow!
Q: What nails do carpenters hate
hammering? Q: Why did the teacher put on sunglasses?
A: Fingernails A: Because her students were so bright!

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he
A: Because if they flew over the bay they’d discovered electricity?
be bagels. A: Shocked!

Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate? Q: What do you call a flower that runs on
A : a pork chop! electricity?
A: A power plant!
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them! Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir?
A: Because she was a little horse!
Q: What animal needs to wear a wig?
A: a bald eagle! Q: Why did the cookie go to the nurse?
A: Because he felt crummy!
Q: How do all the oceans say hello to each
other? Q: How do you keep a bull from charging?
A: They wave! A: Take away its credit card!

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall? Q: What is the witch’s favorite school
A:  I’ll meet you at the corner! subject?
A: Spelling!
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An investigator! Q: What has a ton of ears but can’t hear a
thing?
Q: What do you get when you cross a A: A corn field.
snowman with a vampire
A: Frostbite! Q: What goes up and down but does not
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? move?
A: A bulldozer! A: Stairs

Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
A: Don’t peek – I’m changing!

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: It was the chicken’s day off

100+ KIDS JOKES

• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just me.
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? NOOOOOO! A cow says moo!
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Iva. Iva who? Iva sore hand from knocking.
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow….mooooo.
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Interrupting pirate. Interrupting pirate….ARRRRGH
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? A broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Nevermind, it’s pointless.
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? I didn’t know that you

could yodel.

• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you.
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Figs. Figs who? Fix the doorbell, it’s broken!
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in we’re cold out here!
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Honey bee. Honey bee who? Honey, be a dear and make me

a sandwich!

• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don’t let me in!
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water way to answer the door.
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Pecan. Pecan who? Pecan on someone your own size.
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup to me, and I will tell you!
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Isma. Isma who? Isma dinner ready yet?
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Ida. Ida who? Ida know, you tell me.
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Turnip. Turnip the music, it’s my favorite song!
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Butter. butter who? It is butter if you don’t know.
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Leaf. Leaf who? Leaf me alone.
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Thermos. Thermos who? Thermos be a better knock knock

joke than this!

• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Cook. Cook who? I’m not crazy! You’re the coo coo!
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Mikey. Mikey who? My key won’t unlock this door, so let me in!
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock Knock. Who’s there? Banana.

Banana who? Knock Knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t
say banana again?!?

• Will you remember me in 20 years? Will you remember me for one year? Will you remember

me tomorrow? Will you remember in two minutes? Knock knock. Who’s there? you forgot
me already!