Tabloid (20)

 

Messina News 

Bringing you the latest news, gossip, ads and 
more! 

 

Aryan Mishra 
 

 

 

 
 

 

 
Table of Contents 

1. The shaming and death of Hero 
2. Unlikely marriage or secret love? 
3. What is Cuckoldry? 
4. Advertisements 
5. Crosswords & Horoscopes 

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The Shaming and death of Hero 

The death of Hero, daughter of Leonato, has
wreaked havoc, upon the people of Messina.
Her death, occurred on the 6th of May, 1666.
When investigated, the cause of Hero’s death
was revealed to be the vulgar language,
mockery and shaming, directed towards her
by Claudio.

“Claudio shamed my sister, and revenge
must be had,” said an angry, and emotionally unstable Beatrice, upon asking her what
she thinks of the situation. Beatrice also proceeded to talk about how cruel Claudio is,
and how sad she felt for her sister. There have also been some rumours, that Beatrice
also said to Benedick, afterwards to “Kill Claudio.” It is not an opinion, but a fact, that
what was given to Hero was completely wrong, and that Claudio’s actions were totally
unjustified, however, even Benedick agreed to fight Claudio, like a man, in order to
right Hero.

In an interview with Leonato, our reporters were told that “What Claudio did, was
completely wrong. Not only did he use such language, on a holy day, Claudio dared to
accuse Hero, my daughter, of being in bed, with men other than himself,” Leonato
continued on to say that if Claudio did not want to marry Hero, he could have simply
said so, instead of hurting Hero the extent that she died from the emotional wounds
inflicted upon her, by Claudio.

 
 
 
 

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Unlikely Marriage or Secret Love? 

Benedick, the so-called “bachelor for life,” abruptly decided to marry Beatrice. The
rivalry of Benedick and Beatrice, was well-known throughout Messina, and a few
months back, it was unthinkable that the two would dare stand beside each other, let

alone marry each other. Although all
is well, and Benedick is now a
happily-married life. In a recent
interview with Benedick, he said that
“when he said he didn’t want to
marry,” he simply meant that “he
didn’t expect to live long enough to
marry.” A reasonable expectation,
for a person in his profession of war.
He also refused to tell us of his
history with Beatrice before their
marriage, save his narrations of their
banter. Although both Benedick and
Beatrice argue that they didn’t have much of a history, and they requited love for each
other, without ever having the intention to do so, we firmly believe that it was in fact a
secret love. A love, kept hidden from the eyes of Messina. This seems to be clearly
conveyed by their so-called banter, not to mention the secret letters which were
revealed at their weddings, by Claudio and Hero respectively(See picture above) .  
 
 

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What is Cuckoldry? 

Cuckoldry, is when a rich man’s
wife cheats on him. The term was
coined sometime in between the
years 1000 and 2000. Cuckoldry
basically means, when a man,
unaware that the child is not his
own, raises a child, and provides
for that child. It is said, that such as
man also ends up having horns on his head, which though invisible to himself, are for
the world to mock and laugh about. Cuckoldry was a very, very common problem for
men, especially those who were very rich due.
 
  

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What was Don John up to? 

There have been a good many rumors
criticising Don John, and our reporters are
here to clear it up. According to our reporters,
after Don JOhn left Messina, he was
captured by two brave soldiers, who brought
him back to Messina. Then, an investigation
was conducted to determine the reason Don
John was trying to escape. It was concluded,
that Don John simply hated his brother,
because he (Don John) had absolutely no
power in Messina. He has now been put in jail, for attempted treason
 

Advertisements 

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 Crosswords and Horoscopes 

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Today’s horrific Horoscope 

Scorpio: Something you have long desired seems to be coming true, but be careful Scorpio, for things are not
what they seem.
Taurus: You have been putting something you need to do off, for a long time. Anything you do today, will not
be in vain.
Libra: There is an illusion of betrayal in your mind. This seed was planted by an ill-wisher, and if you do not
look past it, you will do something truly terrible.
Gemini: Lately, there has been a sudden change in your behaviour, caused by some information you have
heard. While this is not true, acting upon it will be fruitful.
Aquarius: Someone close to you will be very hurt today. As an Aquarius, your skills with calming people down
are good, and you shall need it direly today.
Cancer: Today will be a very bad day for you. You will be very depressed, it would be best to postpone
important things, for a few days.
Capricorn: It is your lucky day today. You shall find out something, that will be of great use, and you will be
rewarded for this.
Pisces: Nothing like a good day’s rest. Take today to relax and recharge, difficult times have just passed, and
you have earned some rest.
Sagittarius: Beware, today you will be in imminent danger, a person who you believe is supposed to help you,
will betray you.
Leo: You have been wanting to do something, for many days now. The obstacle blocking you has finally been
removed, charge straight ahead!
Virgo: You might find yourself with empty pockets. Stay away from gambling to gain money fast, and instead
earn it.

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Do you have what it takes to solve this month’s 
crossword Puzzle? 

Answers are on the next page

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  Down 1) Hero
  Down 2) Beatrice
Down 4) Benedick
Across 3) Margaret Down 5) Don John
Across 7) Dogberry Down 6) Messina
Across 8) Don Pedro
Across 9) Cuckoldry

 

 

 

 

 

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That’s it for this edition, see you 
in the next edition! 

 
 

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