TCF-21-22-LIT-FOLIO

Mount Carmel College



The Carmelian Faces







TINTA












The Literary Book of


The Carmelian Faces








The Official Publication of the

Higher Education Department


Mount Carmel College Baler, Aurora







All Rights Reserved 2022



No part in this book may be reproduced in any
form without permission from the publisher and

the contributors.

The Carmelian Faces’















Mrs. Heraldine S. Villamora Rev. Fr. Dave Capucao Phd., SThd.

College Affairs Officer Executive Vice President

Ms. Eddie Lyn P. Lumasac


TCF Adviser


Andrea Klein Palomar

Angelene Lumasac Princes Kate Trucilla
Editor-In-Chief
Associate Editor Managing Editor
Macy Valenzuela
Cristy Ann Felix Opinion Editor Lance Andrei Chan


News Editor Entertainment Editor
Rica Jane Marzan
Mako Ianel Berja Desiree Felix Dianne Lindsy Feliciano


DevComm Editor Literary Editors Feature Editor


Iman Atayde Gilbert Guerrero Jr. Jelly Ann Ungriano


Victoria Grace Endonela Sport Editor Geneser Pabalate

Photojournalists Cartoonists
Rhea Mae Valdez

Zandro Louie Oraño

Layout Artists







Eunie May B. Fernando Jessamae Galope Cristina Figuracion

@Aife EdukAko Mayumi

Fyl Edelbise Proceso Nilbert Pedillaga King Gutierrez

“The very purpose of life is
to experience life in its Artwork by:

fullest depth and Nilbert Pedillaga

dimension” AB 4th Year

Acknowledgment











The Carmelian Faces would like to thank the following:


The editorial board, staff, and contributors who,

despite their busy schedules and the unprecedented new

setup, were able to share their works and contribute their

experiences in hopes of inspiring the rest of the Carmelian

community to share their own,


Ms. Eddie Lyn P. Lumasac, our dear adviser, who

continuously supported and guided us in all our efforts to
show others that we, The Carmelian Faces, have the power

to voice and speak our minds,


Mr. Rommel N. Angara, Ms. Catherine Leander-Querijero,

and Ms. Beverly Herminigildo for guiding us writers and visual

artists into discovering more about our passion and the

ways we can influence others through them,


The Mount Carmel College-Baler administration for
allowing us to share our stories and publish the Creative

Folio this year as well as everyone who contributed, read,

and supported The Carmelian Faces.

Table of Contents









Bonds



BEYOND THE NON-EXISTING LINE 2


I AM PROUD OF YOU 3


SOUL REVIVER 5


SEE THROUGH 6

PARTING TIME 7


TWO HEARTS IN A SOUL 8


Growing Pains



BAWAL LUMABAS 10

TATAGLARAN: TATAGAN PARA SA MAPAIT

NA KAPALARAN 12


Bridging Hope




CARDIGAN 14


FELT DROWNED 15


MAJESTIC MISTAKE 16

ON THE DEPTH OF MY DESPAIR 17


PAINTED CROWN 19

PROCESSES ARE PROGRESS 20


TAKE ME HOME 22

THIS-ABLE 23


TIGANG 25


TITIG 27




Rebirth



BEGIN AGAIN 30


BUHAY SA PANAHON NG PANDEMYA 33


DAWN 35

HOW I GO ALONG WITH RESILIENCE 37


KARANASAN SA PAGTALIMA SA PANAHON

NG PANDEMYA 40


LIFE UNPRECEDENTED 42

ODE TO SUNRISE 45


PANAHON KUNG SAAN ANG LAHAT AY TULIRO 46


PANANAMPALATAYA 47

PASKO NI NAY AMOR 49


QUANTUM ENTANGLEMENT 51


SA GITNA NG PANDEMYA 57

TAYO NA KAIBIGAN 59


THAT MORNING… 61


UNCERTAIN BUT HOPEFUL 63

Foreward









The pandemic has made it exceptionally easy to get

wrapped up in loneliness since the beginning of lockdown.


While the past two years have not been exactly kind to us


and our need for human connections, we must look for

and pursue moments of togetherness.



This Creative Folio allows us to see and have

meaningful conversations with other people even if we are


locked away from the rest of the world. Uniquely Aligned

is created to provide a creative space for people to


showcase all kinds of ideas and stories that allow us to

witness our shared experiences as human beings


regardless of our individualities.


This year, we hope that you enjoy all kinds of art


showcased in this folio and hope that through these

stories, you will understand that in rare moments like this,


there is a light at the end of the road, a hand you can

reach out to, a silver lining even in all the gloominess of


our current world.


May these stories speak to you in good faith.

Bonds















Humans are social beings.



And though we are aware that we will not live


forever, we always find ways to pursue


togetherness even when kept away from the rest


of the world. No amount of physical distancing


can delete even the rarest moments of intimacy.



You belong here just like everybody else, and you


create bonds with everyone you meet. Love, as



we all know, brings strength to the weakest.


Our relationships with others, no matter what


kind, are what inspire us to keep moving



forward. Even in grief, we remain connected to


those we value and love the most.

Beyond the Non-Existing Line

Poetry



Mako Ianel C. Berja








I kept asking if I really knew how

If I got the chance, I‘ll tell you right now


I’m confident to say that it is true

You’ll always be the one I got used to




Your voice is soothing and it can’t be helped

That you are embraced by my truest self


I feel you near even though you’re away

For the times we had was never astray




From the way we are, from the day we met

You are cherished like valuable secret

How far and how much more will I pretend


Within a moment which will never end



Right now, here we are seeking for meaning


Will I still stay and be stuck here waiting

To go beyond the non-existing line

Or shall we meet in another lifetime








2

I am proud of you
Essay


Carla Castillo







I often hear people saying to never give up and lose

hope. They keep on reminding each other to hold on,


keep on fighting, see the good in everything, and all the

phrases they thought would uplift someone’s spirit. You


know, it was never easy. It was never easy seeing other


people making their life, slowly putting and building their


pieces together, figuring out their future; “Oh what a life I

can and I must live…”. It was never easy doubting myself


that there’s me, just flying, breathing, and waiting for a

sign to fight and fight and fight again and survive.



Waking up is a big challenge, but getting up and

seeing the world is harder. Often I wonder, how can I


continue to be a part of a world I didn’t choose in the first


place? How come I get everything I have? How did it

happen that I lost everything I don’t have anymore? That


I was not who I thought I would be? How can I forgive

myself for not being the person I dreamed of being? The


spirit inside me was a different wandering soul. It


feels different. I was different. With words and phrases, I




3

often hear and being reminded of that they thought it


could save someone’s dying spirit, that because somehow

it did, those little symbols and words did had saved a


merely existing body, they saved me more than a hundred

times if not thousands of abrupt vanishings – of escaping


life or escaping what life keeps on throwing me: doubts,


fears, disappointments, and everything that I thought was

a burden to this little heart of mine.



And sometimes, against all odds, against all logic, we hope.


I still hope. Somehow, I still wanted to be saved solemnly,


softly over and over again.














































4

Parting Time
Poetry

Cristina C. Figuracion






I always see my life as an endless battle,

A war that always ranging on fire,

An ocean that swallows me deep inside,

A broken glass that often hurt one’s hand.



Drop, drop, drop, those impure blood of mine,

How come I’m still awake, even with a thousand scars?

Every memories begun to fade,

How long will it take to heal wounds that he made?


The words he swore rampaging in my heart,

Like a sweet and soft melody of a playing violin,

As the birds were lilting their singing sonorously,

Above the sparkling water on the riverside.



He crashed into my life intentionally,

Like a man that profession is robbery,

He stole my youth and my innocence,

But I resist and subdue his dominance.


He holds my hand and hugs me firmly,

I seem to be weak but he knows I’m strong,

So, he said no words and left alone,

As I look back, another girl trapped into his hands.




5

Poetry See through


Andrea Klein Palomar







love has a language

mine comes in the form of a visual learner


I know love only by sight


tell me I am heard and I would ask why

why do you?


why do you think so?


why are you lying?

“are you sure?”


tell me you see me


ah, because to be seen?

to be loved regardless


“I have watched you crumble, falter, and fall


and I love you.”

love has a language


mine is in the form of sight


words cannot simply just— say.















6

Poetry Soul Reviver




Macy P. Valenzuela








People have differences with their tastes, a

literature that no one hates. With the various


genres music has, a world where anyone can

trespass. Music literally defines us. With the


circling emotions


it does; of who

we are how are


we fee- ling, with

its lyrics indeed


appealing. Regard-

less of the normality,


it’s an escape

from reality.


A ride that can drive you anywhere, through

the emotions they deli- ver. Along with given

diversity it does have universality. It satisfies


our ears effortless. Music’s inevitably

age- less.









7

Poetry Two Hearts in A Soul



Carla Castillo






Of every interjection


Sudden U-turns and rejections


I found myself in the middle of your maybes and


perhaps


I found my heart shattered in between untaken risks


Of discarded hopes


And forgotten promises.


This unwavering shed of blank memories,


Lives I never get a chance to live


A soul within this unloving body wishes for ease —


A glance of daylight


So please know,


Please know that



A soul that couldn't meet my heart halfway is a soul I

won't risk for.


I am not risking myself to the self who wanted


nothing but brokenness.






8

Growing Pains
















The future is undoubtedly scary.



We often find ourselves saying, “I do not know



yet,” but we can never really grow if we remain


unchanged. It is a human experience to face


struggles and overcome them.



The truth is that life is full of uncertainties, and


we have every right to feel remorse, grief,


loneliness, and anger amidst all the challenges


thrown at us.



Here, we attempt to find space for all the


feelings of pain to feel less of it. It is not simply


an escape, but it is us leaping forward.


Remember: there is courage where there is fear.

Fiction Bawal Lumabas

Rica Jane S. Marzan








Nakatatakot lumabas, may nagbabanta,

sakit daw ay makukuha kapag sinubukang

makipagsapalaran at lumagpas sa hamba ng

pintuan.


Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang buwan ko nang


hindinasisilayan ang masayang kaganapan sa labas

ng tahanan, na tanging senaryo na lamang mula sa

maliit naming mga bintana ang nakikita sa araw


araw, ang dating bawat sulok ng aming lugar ay

napupuntahan, ngayon apat na sulok na lamang ng

aming tahanan. Sa telebisyon ko na lamang


nalalaman ang mga nangyayari sa ating kapaligiran.


Ang sabi pa nga nila nasa labas daw ang sakit at

pandemya, na nasa labas daw ang kaaway na hindi


nakikita, na bawal daw lumabas dahil may sakit na

nakakahawa. Buti pa sila. Buti pa sila iyon lamang


ang kinatatakutan. Buti pa sila sa labas lang

nababanaag ang sakit. Buti pa sila kapag natapos

ang pandemya hindi na kailangan ng facemask at


face shield kapag lalabas.




10

Samantalang ako, kailanman hindi na makalalabas.


Hindi na mararanasan na lumakad at tanggalin ang

facemask, na hindi na natatakot sa sakit kapag nasa


loob na ng tahanan na wala nang takot at pangamba.

Dahil sa kapabayaan ko at sa pagsuway sa panukala,

sa simula pa lamang na bawal lumabas.


“Nakatatakot lumabas, may nagbabanta, sakit daw

ay makukuha kapag sinubukang makipagsapalaran at

lumagpas sa hamba ng pintuan,” mga katagang paulit


-ulit na sinasabi sakin ni nanay bago ako umabot sa

ganito, kaya ngayon ay nagsisisi ako bakit hindi ko siya

pinakinggan. Hindi sana ako lumabas ng gabing iyon.


Hindi sana ako naputulan ng paa at nasira ang mukha.

Hindi ko na sana kailangan ng facemask para

magkubli, nakalalakad sana ako ngayon. Kaya ngayon


sa loob ng tahanan ko pa nararanasan na masaktan sa

tuwing nakikita ang kalagayan.

Hindi ko naman kasi alam na hindi lang pala dapat


sa COVID mag-iingat, dahil hindi lamang ito ang

nagdudulot ng panganib sa atin, minsan ang

kapabayaan natin at paglabag sa paggawa ng tama at


mabuti ang nagdadala at sasadlak sa atin sa dusa.

Kaya kapag sinabing bawal lumabas, huwag kang


lalabas.





1 1

TatagLaran: Tatagan Para sa


Poetry Mapait na Kapalaran




Eunie May B. Fernando






Isang hakbang, pero teka tama pa ba ang daan?

Ilang taon pa ba ang darating bago ka malagpasan?

Makabago dahil hindi ito ang aking kinaugalian.

Pandemya, pamilya nami’y iyong sinubok ng lubos,

Ilang daliri pa ba ang dapat mapudpod sa buhay na puro
unos?



Mapait na kapalaran, kailan ka nga ba matutuldukan?

Ako’y pagod nang maglakas-lakasan.

Katawan ko’y sumusuko, ngunit isip ko’y kailangan lumaban,

Ginising ako ng reyalidad na hindi dapat panghinaan.



Buhay ko sa gitna ng pandemya ay kay pait ng kapalaran,

Ang pahina nito’y puno ng kadiliman,
Pero salamat sa mga kaibigan,

Sila’y nagsilbing aking sandalan.



Busilak at ningning na inyong pinaramdam,

Pag-asa ay araw- araw kong nasisilayan,

Mga puso ninyo’y tunay na ginintuan,

Salamat sa pag-alala ng laban, na kailangan kong tatagan at

maging matapang,

Tatak na rin ng pagiging isang KARMELYAN.




12

Bridging Hope
















We all have our moments.



May it be experiencing grief or excitement.


Though most of life is bittersweet, the joy in it is


celebrating life when possible.



In Bridging Hope, we embrace the hot mess in



us all and our lives. We look back to recognize


the things that stay with us and the things that


do not.



For the past few months, a lot of people have


begun searching for themselves and for the


things that keep them going despite the burnout,


the disappointments, and such. And we


remember that amid all the dreaming, there is


space for hope no matter how long and far the



end seems to be.

Poetry Cardigan


Lance Andrei L. Chan






It's been a year, since you were gone,


and you tell me my life is not done.

I pick up the laundry and it's like a blanket made of

sun,


and your pile of clothes that always keeps me warm.




You never lie to me when you say that hugs last,

when I feel down, you wrap your arms around me.

They make my days go from bad to good,


hugs saying, I want to hold onto you.



Scared and cold, almost freezing,


and the sound of the outside world is terrifying.

Perhaps it could never be described,

the feeling of emptiness, vanished from my side.




You saved me again because of your hugs,

a gentle one, full of forever love.


I put you on and said you were my favorite,

when I wear our old cardigan, I know it's you, and

I'm home again.




14

Poetry Felt drowned


Gilbert Teh Guerrero Jr.






I locked myself into a dark room


Where the flowers cannot bloom

Even a little light comes out

And I can’t see anything, so I pout


Then suddenly, an image came out

However, I did not know what it is all about

Then…


I start thinking if it is the end

And I am happy with that so, I bend

Because I can now hear the sound


The sound of my favorite band

At the last day of my round

In this world who messed me up so, I


drowned.

But then I realized

What if someone makes me stabilized


To stand up and walk out in this room

And let myself bloom.













15

Poetry Majestic Mistake



Jessamae Galope







Deep in the enchanted dark sea
The untamed voice will be free

Despite of arrows running in dim area

The connection beats louder than the bond tiara


The world covered its mouth

People screams unclasp, wanted to jut

Hard to breath and years need to count

Kill the king then win the crown


Genius men become more powerful

An innocent forlorn suffered and fall

Masked themselves as heroes secretly throwing a fireball
A hidden art awfully blinding people



Hope started to shine brighter

Beautiful stories blew up bearing the torn
Despicable turned into inspirable

A majestic mistake rolls like a marble



Everything changed in just a nap
But the power of hand is on the top

Bloody tale is written that full of lesson

Relationships tighter becomes fascinating shore






16

Poetry On the Depth of My Despair


Lance Andrei Chan









I just wallow and swallow the pain I keep to myself


I’d be lovingly thankful just for this poison to be cast

away

I just endure and lure demons onto my trophy shelf


Struggling with the reality that everything will fall in

place

Trying to understand if it’s the first phase of despair




Bruises, wounds, and scars scattered on my skin

Pain storming deep within


I am a broken soul, a broken heart

Maybe I’m overthinking lately

Maybe the pressure’s gonna break me




Heart aches and I feel it cracking

But I can’t think of reasons for it not to happen


I am loser, a pathetic person

I’m no good at anything that’s the reason

Questioning people, why life must go on?








17

I’m striving in ways I’d never thought were right


It’s a distorted future where I breakdown in mirror

fights


I’ve never known any silenced, they turn my head


into home


I’m scared that they are not going anywhere so I will

face them


Hoping I win and receive a warm embrace




I’ve seen life at its worst


They say I’m alone, they think I am prone


To fall and live into shadows is risk when you’re


alone

But those time’s I let people in, they stand for me


And now I, we conquer my demons lair



















18

PAINted CROWN
Poetry


Jessamae Galope






A proclaimed war begun in the kingdom

Air become a venomous lamp

Blinding people by its masked light
The obscurity secretly bite



The crown dug a million grave
It’s decorated as flower in the yard

Enemies kills using this shard

People trying hard to win using the card



Various stories being painted
Using colors of tears that shed

Heavy emotions circulated

A smart person is manipulative and being rented.


The art is sadly fabulous

Yet the power of love brightens up the colors

The tale inspires and shaken the tore

Will be the end people may wear the crown and rule the own
realm.



The virus turned into diadem
Human died by its perilous sting

Mysterious courage living in vain

Standing as brave as they can though it painted their pain.




19

Fiction Processes are progress


Carla Castillo






I've been through tough cycles I couldn't get


through. Often, we hear people recognize healing as

an unstable process. It is said to be shaky more than

we thought; one day you're alright then the next,


you're not. Our minds are playing tricks on us. Is it

that boring to keep on playing the entirety of

ourselves?


There's a game or a song or memory that plays on

repeat—an unhealthy repetition. I cannot fathom my

thoughts, my mind, the way it is, most of the time.


And that repetition became a habit—of being

motivated and opposing, of embracing life or


wanting to leave it—looking for an escape.

Craving on how to escape from the mess of

uncertainty became a favorite. We became so used


to it we don't even know the feeling of leaving that

prison cell.

Myriad of chances were lost just to feed that


cycle, for the sake of not breaking that unending

cycle. But, did you ever ask yourself, am I that afraid






20

to change and to break this cycle even if I can?

Then, how come I keep on lingering into finding a

better cycle, one step at a time?


The more we fall, the harder, the higher, and the

stronger we bounce back. Perhaps, you're just too

used to it that you don't want to jump out of it


anymore.

You can. And every time you do it, you love

yourself as well as the people you value a little more.


Shaky processes are fine because you learn to keep

and lose balance but stand up again. You either let go

of your broken pieces or use them, hold them


together beneath your feet to ease the shakiness.

I've been into tough cycles; though I can't get

through until I realized that it's part of the process of


embracing bravery.


























21

Poetry Take me home

Carla Castillo





It's obvious, you're the oblivion.


The misremembrance of this starlit sky was


oblivious. For I thought that the picture of

constellations were curved in my soul. After


some month of keeping my sight away from


night dim, the labyrinth to the bliss you caused

every time you remind me to keep my head up,


glarin', gazin'— that way was nowhere to be


found.

Journals keep me busy, fireflies give me


enough warmth, photographs keep me insane


and I want to apologize if I told you I need you.

My mind slowly fathoms itself and somehow,


I found my haven not to a stranger but to my-


self.

I am slowly walking into bliss — without you


reminding me.


I am taking myself home to a home I

promised myself I would be— a home without


anxiety.


22

Poetry This-able

Mayumi












I am blind but I can see,


The wonders of reality,



When will I become free?


Will this be a fantasy?






I am deaf but I can hear,


The screams of terror that I fear,



The agony that I have to bear,


Will it be gone from nowhere?






I am mute but I can speak,


And rant all the things that reek,


I used to tell everyone about what I seek,



Will I ever had a chance to look for it?








23

I am crippled but I can walk,


Across the road where frogs croak,



Holding a wine and a cork,


Will this make me a dork?






I can see their agony,


I can hear all their plea,



I can speak whatever it may be,


But I can’t walk from this misery.






It’s hard to tell what will happen next,


Will this end or continue to hex?


The future that I long to see,



Together with those beside me.














24

Essay Tigang

Eduk Ako






Taong dalawang libo’t dalawampu nang magsimulang

mamaluktot ang aking mga sanga at manuyot ang mga luntiang

dahon nito dahil sa kakulangan ng bitamina ng lupang


pinagkukunan ng enerhiya. Ako ay kinain ng takot sapagkat sa

tinagal-tagal ng panahon, ngayon ko lang naranasan ang ganitong

uri ng penomena. Ilang buwang walang ulan, ni hindi


maramdaman ang hamog na sana'y magdudulot ng pagkabasa at

pagpawi sa nararanasang uhaw. Hindi ko mawari kung ito ba’y

pangkaraniwang sitwasyon lamang o isang sumpang kayang

magpatuyo ng isandaang ektaryang lupa. Magdadalawang taon

na ngunit patuloy pa rin ang pagkatuyo ng lupang aking


kinakapitan. Kaya ko pa ba ang ganitong uri ng paghihirap? Buti

pa yaong malalapit sa sapa at ilog, sagana sa masusustansiyang

pagkain at patuloy sa pagpapakasaya. May ginagawa ba ang


Bathalang nasa itaas? May balak pa ba Siyang kami'y kalugdan at

iligtas? Ito ang mga tanong na patuloy na tumatakbo sa aking

isipan.


Nasaan ang sinasabing makapangyarihang Bathala na kayang


tumapos ng pagdurusa ng mga nilalang na hindi makayang tiisin

ang gutom at uhaw? Mabibilang sa aking mga dahon kung gaano

lamang kadalas ang kanilang pagrarasyon ng pagkain.




25

Buti pa si “Lily”, napakarangya ng buhay. Kinaiinggitan ng

lahat dahil sa nagtitingkaran niyang mga bulaklak. Tunay na


pinagpala. Ngunit ako, ang gaya ko, ni hindi makaidlip sa gitna

ng karimlan sa kaiisip kung saan at paano ko mapakakain ang

aking mga maralitang bunga, mga bungang nagsusumamo.


Kung tatagal pa ang sumpang ito, baka mamaya’y tuluyan nang

lumagapak sa lupa at doon ay tuluyan nang mabulok. Ano ang

gagawin ko kung hindi kami maaaring tumakas sa bakurang

puno ng matitinik na mga sanga ni anahaw na sadyang hinulma


upang ang halamang gaya ko ay pahirapan? Kung makatakas

man kami, kung maisalba ko man ang aking mga dahon, sanga

at bunga, naghihintay naman sa amin ang mas mapanganib na

mundo. Hindi rin kami ligtas sa labas ng hasyendang ito.



Hindi na kayang sumipsip ng pagkain ang aking mga ugat

kaya't pinilit kong magpasulpot ng mumunting ugat upang sa

ganon ay may maipakain ako sa aking mga sanga’t bunga. Hindi


na ako aasa sa tulong ng ibang halamang nagpapakasasa sa

mayamang tubig ng ilog at sapa. Kailangan kong gumawa ng

paraan upang ako’y hindi malanta sa kahihintay sa tulong ng

iba. Pagkain, para sa mulat na mata. Tulong, para sa mga


kapatid na dukha.


Saan nagtatago ang ulan sa panahong naghahari ang

tagtuyot sa kalupaan?







26

TiTig
Poetry


Fyl Edelbise Proceso







Mula sa pagdilat ng mata, mga nakasanaya'y tila

nabago na.


Mga lumang pahina ay napalitan ng takot at

pangamba.

Sa pagsikat ng araw at pagsapit ng dilim, tanging


hiling ay kapayapaan.

Kapayapaang pangkalusugan na batid ay

kaginhawaan ng kalahatan.




Lahat tayoy mulat ngunit salat.

Nakakakita ang lahat upang hindi datnin ang


mabarat.

(Nakakakita ang lahat upang hindi datnin pagiging


basurang kalat)

Sa ganitong kalagayan, marami ang nagbubulag-

bulagan (bingi) sa hinaing ng mga mamamayan sa


bayan.

Paano pa nga ba tayo makakabalik sa ating

nakasanayan kung iba ang pinagtutuunan ng sarili


nating kaban?





27

Takot at pagod ang kalaban,


Ni hindi natin malaman kung saan ang labasan.


Makakaahon pa ba sa mabalasik na hatid ng


daluyong na hindi matukoy ang sanhi?


O habang buhay na tayo makakaranas ng pighati?





Tanging sarili ang makakapatipan, tunog ng sining


at sinag ng araw na lang ang malalapitan.


Ni anino ng iba ay hindi na rin mahagkan.


Pandemya nga ba o ang bulok na sistema ang


sanhi ng pagkalala ng pandemya?


Ilang araw, linggo, taon o dekada pa ba bago tayo


makaaahon sa balawis ng kontemporaryong


panahon?





Kapag natuto tayong mamulat, pawang kasalanan


na ang pumikit.












28

Rebirth















You are here today.



Every day we feel some sort of melancholic feeling


deep within our hearts, and sometimes it brings us a


sense of nostalgia. Throughout these past few


months, we’ve been locked away from the rest of


the world and so happens that along with the



loneliness is the feeling of somber.



However, everything we’ve ever gone through in


this pandemic doesn’t necessarily symbolize an end.


Every day you are aware that you are alive and that


the past should never define what lies ahead.



This series is a collection of memories to remind us


that there is beauty in recognizing that in every


waking day, we have another shot at life to take even


a few steps forward and take every day as it comes.

Fiction Begin Again


Eloisa Gonzales








"Where do I start?" Have you ever asked yourself this
question? How do you come up with your answer?

Because I am out of words to describe my response.


A beginning is the first page of a new chapter, a
moment in time or space in which something begins.


Sometimes it is amazing because you have the

opportunity to experience pristine adventures, it also

means you have to kiss goodbye to the memories of

yesterday's older version of the life.

When the news of having a community quarantine

broke, it was the beginning of a change that I was not

fond of. The first thing that came to my mind was

detachment—detachment from people who used to be

the great company, disconnection from your life outside.

Being dragged away from your escape feels stifling as if

you've been painted black and white. The worst feeling is

that you don't have the power to know what will happen

tomorrow. It was like stepping into uncertainty, and I

thought that was the scariest part of it, but I was wrong.

Halfway through my years of being imprisoned and

isolated from the rest of the world, something turns my

life upside down. Like I am not disconnected from people






30

but also myself, from who I am outside of the home, and

nobody knows me, even I, myself. The façade of an

unnamed emotion falls into oblivion that conquers the

monochromatic image of everything I see. The colors

melted; I could not crawl away from it. I am caged by the

bruise of the past that no one knew about; the ghost of

yesterday's misery kept haunting me, and I was torn

between wanting the world to know or letting myself

bleed to death. I have no voice to speak with and I was too

weak to stand because of the strange emotions that have

strangled me, wishing someone would see the river of


unshed and concealed tears, would hear my loudest cry
amidst the silence, would swim to save me from the roars


of my negative thoughts of the woods every 2 am.

How I wish someone had come over and driven me

away to the shore to feel the air, but I was alone, swinging

close to the edge of the cliff.

The unsweetened taste of this shaken twist of fate

unleashed the stronger version of myself, the fire lit inside

that taught me how to paddle alone in this world with

faces of fears and betrayals. At first, I didn’t know where

to start, left with nothing but fresh wounds and unhealed

damage. The next day, I woke up to see a rainbow that

smiled above the bluest part of the sky, a reminder to me

that even clouds have to release their heaviness, and

so do I. It made me realize that I needed to scale down

the weight of my luggage from the past to step forward.





31

Today’s story is a sequel to yesterday's.

You may not have the capacity to know what the next

episode is, or have a rewind and pause button for you to

mend everything that you screwed up, but you can always

have the strength to change the subject into a happy

ending. You will never find the answers and remedies in

the same spot; you must poke the motion to move ahead

and start over.

Starting over does not imply burying all the sad and

painful prints of your darkest days; it means you are brave

enough to stand and walk on the pavement again. It is

our reminder that some pages of our lives are meant to be

written with tears of sadness and a drop of sweat from

tiredness. We don’t move on from desolation, we learn to

live with it. It is inevitable for us to feel sad and tired. We


are human. We are bound to feel a flow of mixed

emotions, but remember how to swim away from them. If

you don’t, you’ll drown without anyone noticing. My

disconnection from the outside world pulls me back to

myself.

Watch me begin again.













32

Essay BUHAY SA PANAHON NG PANDEMYA


@Aife







Ako, ikaw, lahat tayo ay naapektuhan ng


pandemya na kung tawagin ay COVID-19 ngunit

paano nga ba tayo patuloy na lumalaban sa

pandemyang ito? Halos dalawang taon na ang


nakalipas nang pumasok ito sa ating bansa at

magdadalawang taon na rin nating ginugugol ang

ating buhay sa loob ng ating mga tahanan kasama


ang ating mahal sa buhay. Dalawang taon na tayong

namumuhay nang malayo sa ating kinagisnang

pamumuhay. Dalawang taon na nag-aaral ang mga


estudyante gamit ang teknolohiya. Dalawang taon

na simula nang magsara ang mga establisyimento,

mga sikat na pasyalan at kainan at dalawang taon


na rin nating kasama sa buhay ang facemask, face

shield at patuloy pa rin nating sinusunod ang mga


alituntunin na ipinatutupad ng ating gobyerno.

Ngunit naiisip mo rin ba ang mundo natin noon

na puno ng tawanan, kwentuhan at halakhakan ng


mga tao? Panahon na kung saan ay ang iniisip lang

natin ay kung paano natin maitatawid ang buong






33

araw. Panahon na marami kang makikitang tambay

at mga batang nag lalaro sa labas ng kani-kanilang


mga tahanan.

Patuloy tayong nagsusumikap ng sama-sama

upang maibalik sa normal ang ating mga buhay na


kung saan hindi na natin kailangan pang magsuot ng

facemask at kailangan pang dumistansya.

Sa naranasan nating ito sa ating buhay, tayo parin


ay naging matatag. Marami mang nawalang buhay

dahil sa pandemyang COVID-19, alam kong balang


araw ay malalagpasan din natin ito nang sama-sama,

hindi man ngayon ngunit alam kong sa mga susunod

pang araw ay maibabalik natin ang Pilipinas sa


normal, masaya, masigla at masagana nitong

pamumuhay.




































34

Essay Dawn

Carla Castillo









There are versions of yourself that are long

gone. They're worthwhile.

You see, probably each day, you're waking up


either voluntarily or obliged to do so. You know

deep within yourself is that you're not the 'self'

you were yesterday — something changed


overnight,

or after the dawn

or just before you fix your soul giving its strength


to open your eyes

and see the world for another day

another day to survive and to live.


Perhaps, you're missing your old self.

At some point,

you want to be that self you once were


now,

today.

You're craving for that person you thought was


living life to the fullest,








35

having genuine happiness

and loving (him) herself the way it deserves.

But did you ever realize how much we keep on

pulling ourselves to our 'old self' if we can push it to

our 'new self'?

Certainly, it was hard to let go of the things we

loved and of their ideas. I can't say that it was that


easy to just let go of the idea of ourselves before, a

self whose happy and strong enough. But I want to

remind you

that

you are,

today.

You are strong. You are better. You should stop

pulling that old self if you're already a better version of

yourself or even your still in the process of becoming

one.

All of those myriad struggles, changes and down-

falls you went through, you're here. You're here slowly

achieving your dreams, slowly forgiving and accepting

yourself. Having the answer to the question " How do I

forgive myself to the self I never became? ".

Everything isn’t falling apart, it’s falling into place.

And I hope that you fall in love with the 'self'










36

How I Go Along with


Fiction Resilience



Macy P. Valenzuela






It is said that resiliency is the ability to bounce back.

Psychologists define it as the process of adapting well in

the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or sources

of stress such as family problems, financial stressors,

serious health problems, conflict with peers, and

relationship problems. I never thought of myself as being

resilient. As a student majoring in education, I find that

this is difficult. I am used to fighting with lots of school

requirements and forget to fight with problems of my

own. I unconsciously repress my thoughts and feelings,

not having the time to overthink and feel blue with the

dark side of my existence.

I grew accustomed to having whatever I wanted, living

a stable life; not until more than four years ago–our

family started to face unexpected punches from life: a

dark and immeasurable hole we had found hard to escape


from until now. Besides financial problems, I had to wake
up every day to see my father suffering from a serious


illness he does not deserve. The strongest and bravest

man I knew is now the weakest among us. At first, seeing

my family experience these crises made it hard for me

to focus on my studies. In the long run, I got used to it. I





37

often chose not to talk about things but instead, ignore

them and move on. This has helped me learn how to

repress some memories. I can almost repress most of my

thoughts by will. Such is useful in the sense that it allows

me to stay positive regardless of unwanted events.

For me to move past whatever adversity or event I

encounter, I give time to allow my mind to wander away

from my current situation. I always keep myself busy.

Besides allocating my time to school requirements,

listening to music, and hanging around with my friends, I

often take some time to sleep. Making sure that I am

getting enough sleep is my act of self-care because if I go

long periods without it, I shut down completely. I have


noticed that sleep is one of the first things that I needed
to do during times of stress. It is my favorite escape from


reality and I also believe that in some sense it makes me

resilient.

I tend to disengage from problems that appear to be

unsolved, still, of course, I care for my family a lot yet I

think that it will be better if I carry on; not leaving them

behind, there are just things that I knew I had to live

through. We cannot live like this forever, enclosing

ourselves on the worst pages; I knew I had to welcome

new chapters, the intact ones that might pull us through

these old ones–this is by producing fresh starts; focusing

on the bright future ahead.






38

Certainly, I am very proud of those students like me

who can set aside their feelings and emotions for their

grades’ sake; students who rather choose to spend their

time pursuing their dreams, focusing on what they still

need to do rather than oppressing themselves on what

happened. Along with this, I also admire those who are

very much affected by their adversities; who find it hard

to bounce back yet still choose to fight and live.

Life is dynamic. Like in films, some twists and turns

will make such a thrilling flow of events. It is with a

distinct fact that we have no visible finish line that adds

to the ambiguity and resultant tension; nonetheless, we

have things and people worth living for like the things


we love to do and be with the people we love sharing
our memories alongside our families, friends and special


someone. As they say, “Life is like a wheel; sometimes

you are on top, sometimes you are in the bottom.”

Challenges do exist not to harm but to make us the best

versions of ourselves. Live with it.



























39

Karanasan sa Pagtalima sa


Essay Panahon ng Pandemya



Cristy Ann F. Felix







Ang COVID-19 ay nakapupukaw atensyon sa lahat ng

tao, higit na sa akin. Sa edad na dalawampu’t dalawa,

namulat ako sa ganitong sitwasyon ng ating bansa. Isa

ako sa nangangamba sa bawat buhay ng mamamayan

sa buong daigdig. Maraming buhay ang nawala at mga

pagsubok na hinaharap. At sa kabila ng lahat, isa ako sa

masuwerte at ligtas.

Sa ngayon nangangamba ako dahil sa pagbabago na

nangyayari sa ating kapaligiran. Kailan lamang ay

ipinasara ang mga paaralan noong kauna-unahang

lockdown dahilan ng pandemya.

Tulad nga ng pagbabago noong umpisa maraming

mga batas at protocols na kailangan sundin. Ang takot

ay lumalawak dahil sa mga pagbabagong nakikita natin.

Naiisip ko paano na lamang kung maapektuhan ang

aking mga magulang, kapatid, kaibigan at mga mahal


sa buhay.
Ang lahat ng gusali at tindahan ay nagsara. Tayo ay


tuluyan nang makukulong. Parang isang bangungot lang

ang lahat na mahirap magising sa katotohanan na tayo

ay napasok ng isang sakit na nakahahawa.






40

Maraming balitang haka-haka at hindi

makakatotohanan. Pagpapakalat ng maling

impormasyon ang nagiging libangan ng ilan.

Nag-umpisa na ang pagpapatupad ng online class sa

mga paaralan lalo na sa kolehiyo. Sa una mahirap,

nangangapa, at naninibago. Minsan may mga oras pang

kailangan lumabas dahil hindi maayos ang signal sa

aming lugar. Malungkot dahil hindi magkakasama nang

personal ang bawat-isa.

Pero sa kabila ng lahat, masaya dahil buo at maayos

ang pamilya. Maraming oras na magkakasama at

pagpapalitan ng mga mensahe, salo-salong kumakain sa


araw-araw.
Isa akong masuwerte, dahil ligtas at maayos ang


kalusugan ng aming pamilya. Nagpapasalamat ako dahil

sa gitna ng mga paghihirap nangunguna parin ang

pagtulong at sakripisyo sa lahat ng nangangailangan sa

panahon ng pandemya.

Nais ko nang bumalik ang dating panahon, walang

takot, pangamba at normal na pamumuhay. Subalit

hindi natin alam kung kailan ito matatapos.




















41

Fiction Life Unprecedented



Andrea Klein Palomar







I was 19 going 20 when the pandemic started. I

spent the first two years of my 20s in this pandemic.


Often, I'd feel like I lost the last year of my teens, and

that I had missed out on so much.

The lockdown sucked the life out of me for quite

some time. It took me a long while to adjust and get

myself back up on my feet again. I had become very


emotional and vulnerable, feeling overwhelmed at

times.

A.G. Roemmers in his book 'The Return of the

Young Prince' said:

"Sometimes, you'll discover that, when you change


your point of view, the obstacle disappears because

often the only difficulty is in us – and it's nothing but

our rigid, short-sighted way of seeing things."

Eventually, living in the lockdown even with very

limited things to do ironically helped me appreciate


the best and most attractive years of my life so far.

This may not be true for everyone, but isolation in

some way allowed some of us to become better

versions of ourselves.





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