Wave 09-15-17 Volume 4, Issue 2

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What is a helicopter parent?

Dr. Haim Ginott first used the term in 1969 when
he published “Parents & Teenagers” by teens who
said their parents would hover over them like a hel-
icopter. In 2011, the term was so popular that it was
added to the dictionary.

Other terms have also been used; “lawnmower
parents,” “Cosseting parent,” or “bulldoze parent-
ing.” Helicopter parenting specifically refers to a
style of parents who are overly focused on their
children. These type parents typically take too
much responsibility for their children’s experiences
and, specifically, their successes or failures.

Who do parents hover?

Helicopter parenting can develop for a number of
reasons. Here are four common triggers.

Fear of dire
consequences

A low grade, not
making the team, or
not getting a certain
job can appear dis-
astrous to a parent,
especially if it
seems it could be avoided with parental involve-
ment. But, says Deborah Gilboa, M.D., founder of
AskDoctorG.com, "many of the consequences
[parents] are trying to prevent--unhappiness, strug-
gle, not excelling, working hard, no guaranteed re-
sults--are great teachers for kids and not actually
life-threatening. It just feels that way."

Feelings of anxiety
Worries about the economy, the
job market, and the world in gen-
eral can push parents toward
taking more control over their
child's life in an attempt to protect
them. "Worry," can drive parents
to take control in the belief that
they can keep their child from
ever being hurt or disappointed.

Overcompensation
Adults who felt unloved, neg-
lected, or ignored as children can
overcompensate with their own
children. Excessive attention and
monitoring are attempts to rem-
edy a deficiency the parents felt
in their own upbringing.

Peer pressure from other
parents

When parents see other overin-
volved parents, it can trigger a
similar response. Parents can
easily feel that if they don't im-
merse ourselves in children's
lives, they are bad parents. Guilt
is a large component in this dy-
namic.

When can you ban that
pushy helicopter parent?

New court ruling a father had a meltdown during a but she saw very little playing
offers guidance
conference. time on the varsity team.

Most school administrators are Then he learned just how tricky it J.D.’s parents – especially her fa-
all-too-familiar with helicopter can be to ban parents from ther – urged the coach to give
parents who insist on having a school J.D. more playing time during
say in every aspect of their varsity games. In fact, the father
child’s education. Where things veered \off approached the coach at numer-
course ous practices and games, want-
You may be thinking, Been there; ing to know what he had to do to
done that. We’ve got a plan to J.D. was a student at a magnet get J.D. more playing time.
shut down even the most de- school in Connecticut. The
manding helicopter parents. school required students to par- The coach repeatedly had to ex-
That’s probably what a principal ticipate in two sports. During plain to J.D.’s dad that she didn’t
in Connecticut thought, too. Be- J.D.’s junior and senior years, guarantee playing time for any-
cause he took quick action after she played on both the JV and one.
varsity girl’s basketball team –
Problems continued, and J.D.
eventually told her parents that
she wanted to quit the varsity
team. So J.D., her parents and
faculty met many times to dis-
cuss J.D.’s desire to quit varsity
and only play JV ball.

During the discussions, J.D.’s
dad said the principal bullied J.D.
to stay on the varsity team. He
emailed the principal, “demand-
ing that he stop bullying and ha-
rass[ing]” J.D.

After that email, the two parties
met again, and things got
heated.

Principal bans dad ately” on campus. So immunity coach.
was appropriate here.
A few days later, the principal Drew Swank was a football
sent J.D.’s father a letter. In part, Not so cut and dry player at a private school. In
it read that he was banned “from 2009, he suffered a hard hit to
[the school] and its events (in- But the other two elements of the head and was removed from
cluding but not limited to sports J.D.’s dad’s claim were more the game. His doctor told him to
both on and off campus).” (Em- complicated. rest for three days.
phasis in original.)
Bans from campus sporting Three days later, Drew started
The letter went on to say J.D.’s events are trickier because the playing again. At the beginning of
dad’s “physical intimidation and public is invited to games. As his first game back, he seemed
direct threats to staff have cre- such, restrictions to gym access fine.
ated an unsafe environment and during public games must be
will no longer be tolerated.” It viewpoint-neutral. Here, a jury But as the game progressed,
also noted that he would be per- could find the real reason J.D.’s Drew appeared confused. At one
mitted to attend commencement dad was banned from games point, the coach – a school vol-
activities on a specific day. J.D.’s was retaliation for alleging his unteer – grabbed Drew by the
father attempted to attend sport- daughter had been bullied. So helmet, yanked it up and down
ing events on and off campus, immunity wasn’t appropriate for and yelled at him for his poor
and was asked to leave. He this aspect. play. Before the game ended,
sued, alleging the ban violated Drew collapsed on the sideline.
his First Amendment right to free Finally, the court said there was
assembly. “no basis” for immunity on the He died two days later.
third element. J.D.’s father was
When the court refused to dis- removed from non-school loca- Parents file negligence claim
miss the case, the principal filed tions – and that violated his First
an appeal, arguing he was enti- Amendment rights, so the court His parents sued the private
tled to immunity. correctly denied immunity on this school and the coach, alleging
aspect of the claim. negligence.
Although J.D.’s dad filed a single
cause of action, the appellate The court granted immunity for The trial court dismissed the
court said the claim had three dif- the general ban, but the claim claim against the coach, and the
ferent aspects, as he was would proceed on the second appeals court affirmed.
banned from: two elements. Johnson v. Perry,
No. 15-3671 (2d. Cir. 6/8/17)
1. non-sporting events (with the
exception of commencement ac- Court: Mistakes put
tivities) on school property coach on the hook after
2. sporting events on campus, football player’s death
and
3. all school events off campus. Washington’s highest court re-
It looked at each in turn. In the vived negligence claims against
first aspect, the court said it’s well a volunteer high school football
established that principals have
the authority to ensure parents
“conduct themselves appropri-

UPDATES

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Features

Drew’s parents appealed to the Heard of Coco Loko yet? • the “snorting” element is likely
state’s highest court. It revived What you need to know to appeal to middle school stu-
the claim and remanded the dents who are often enticed by
case. Word to the wise: Now’s the time things that make them look older,
to figure out a game plan to han- and
A Washington state law that aims dle “Coco Loko” issues this fall.
to protect athletes requires play- • it’s compared to energy drinks,
ers “suspected of sustaining a If you haven’t heard, Coco Loko which is likely to make it popular
concussion or head injury in a is a snortable chocolate powder with high school students.
practice or game be removed that’s being touted as a drug-free Source: bit.ly/cocoloko
from play immediately.” way to catch a buzz.

That same law provides limited Health risks Special ed student
immunity for volunteers – and gang-raped in school
that’s why the lower courts dis- The product has not yet been
missed the claim against the evaluated by the FDA, but doc- restroom
coach. tors say it contains the same in-
gredients found in energy drinks, Expressing sympathy about the
Trial court’s call under review which have been shown to raise ordeal the victim endured, the
blood pressure and cause heart Eleventh Circuit affirmed that a
Even though the law provides im- palpitations in some individuals. Georgia school was not deliber-
munity to volunteer coaches who And the effects could be intensi- ately indifferent to the rape of a
are accused of simple negli- fied if a person inhales those special education student.
gence, the court pointed out that stimulants, doctors warn.
this wasn’t a clear-cut case of It dismissed a Title IX claim
simple negligence.

Here, the coach failed to remove Even more worrisome, the prod- Teacher lets girl leave class Jane
Drew from the game in spite of uct’s marketing team concocted Doe II in court documents was a
his recent injury and the red flags a blueprint to make Coco Loko special education student at
during the game. Worse, the appealing to students of all ages. Northeast High School.
coach yelled at Drew and physi-
cally shook him just before he For example: In 2012, she was 16 years old,
collapsed. • it’s made from chocolate so it but she functioned on the level of
will likely tempt elementary stu- a 9-year-old due to her intellec-
The court said a reasonable jury dents tual disabilities. Doe was in
could find that Drew’s parents Oslynn Brown’s class when a
provided evidence that showed male student came to the class-
the coach “acted with gross neg- room and told Brown that an-
ligence or recklessness.” A trial other teacher needed to see
was needed. Doe.

Swank v. Valley Christian School, Without confirming this, Brown
No. 932-82-4 (Wash. 7/6/17). allowed Doe to leave with the
student.

(continued on next page)

boys involved in the attack were claim, alleging their daughter’s Court OKs $600K verdict
never previously accused of sex- rights were violated before and for severed fingertips
ually assaulting students at after the assault.
school. A New York appeals court has
To prove their claim, Doe’s par- upheld a $600,000 jury verdict
The campus police department ents had to show the school had for an eighth-grader whose fin-
launched an investigation. Within actual knowledge of the assault gertips were severed as he
a week, all seven male students and were deliberately indifferent closed a parking lot gate.
had been arrested. to it.
Administrators at Our Lady of
Story changes They pointed to prior cases of Wisdom Regional School tasked
sexual assaults in the district – Evan Martin and a classmate
The campus police department once in 2002 and once in 2008. with a job each day: to close the
transferred the case to the city sliding gate in the school parking
police. When the city police inter- But the court said that prior sex- lot.
viewed Doe, she recanted her ual assaults involving different
statement and the criminal students and different attackers
charges against the attackers didn’t give “actual notice” of
were dropped. Doe’s assault, the court held.

Learning Doe had recanted, the Next, the court addressed the al- They completed this task without
school prepared a disciplinary legation that the school was de- adult supervision. One afternoon,
charge letter for Doe, alleging liberately indifferent to the a wheel mechanism on the top of
she’d engaged in sexual miscon- assault after the attack. the gate severed the tips of
duct. Evan’s middle and ring fingers on
Doe’s parents said the discipli- his left hand.
However, a disciplinary commit- nary charge against Doe after
tee determined that her “alleged the assault was proof that school He sought damages, and a jury
misconduct was caused, or sub- officials were deliberately indiffer- found the school 100% responsi-
stantially influenced, by her dis- ent to the assault. ble. The jury was swayed when
ability.” So no disciplinary action the evidence showed that, prior
was pursued. The court disagreed for two rea- to Evan’s injury, three students
sons. First, Doe was not singled had suffered hand injuries involv-
Doe was homeschooled for the out. The school issued discipli- ing the gate.
remainder of the year and then nary letters to the male students,
transferred to a private school. too. Even more damaging, the school
failed to fix the gate – even
School officials also issued disci- But moreover, Doe was never though “a very inexpensive
plinary charge letters for the stu- actually disciplined, as a discipli- safety device could have been
dents who were accused in the nary committee deemed her al- installed which would have pre-
assault. None returned to the leged misconduct was a vented” Evan’s injuries.
school manifestation of her disability. So
the claim failed. The jury awarded a $600,000
Title IX violation? verdict for Evan.
Doe v. Bibb County School Dist.,
Doe’s parents filed a Title IX No. 15-14361, 2017 WL
2240825 (11th Cir. 5/22/17).

Cops: Teacher attempted they arrived. their son’s death.
suicide in classroom
Police refused to say whether the Fourteen-year-old Matthew Bur-
While in his Georgia classroom, teacher left a note, but stated dette committed suicide. In a
a veteran math teacher shot him- that there was no indication that note, Matthew said he didn’t
self in the face with a handgun he intended to harm anyone want to kill himself, but he just
that he purchased in July. other than himself. “couldn’t do school anymore.”

The incident happened in the No word on whether the teacher His parents went to University
early morning hours before stu- will face criminal charges. City High School seeking an-
dents arrived. swers. School officials said they
Parents seek $1M after didn’t know of any reason that
A colleague found the teacher son’s suicide might cause Matthew to hate
and called 911. The teacher was school.
taken to a nearby hospital, re- The parents of a California stu-
portedly in stable condition at dent have filed suit, claiming the Turns out, students came for-
press time. school looked the other way at ward with a possible motive: an
the bullying that they say led to online video that went viral.
Classes were cancelled for the
day, and students were directed In it, Matthew was in a bathroom
to the gym for pickup as soon as stall — and was masturbating,
according to the classmate who
posted the footage.

Matthew’s parents claimed the
school knew about the video and
looked the other way rather than
punished the bully. They sued,
claiming the district was liable for

Matthew’s death.

The Burdettes claim the district
violated its duty to “supervise stu-
dents at all times,” under Califor-
nia law. Failing to fulfill this duty,
the district gave the classmate
the opportunity to capture the
video, post it and bully Matthew
with it, the suit claims.

Principal taken to
hospital after

student’s attack

A New York principal was treated School administrators across the “properly secure their weapons
and released from a local hospi- country continue to handle too- in their homes to help prevent
tal after being attacked by an 18- close-for-comfort weapons inci- unnecessary tragedies.”
year-old student. dents. Here’s the latest:
Matthew Tossman is the principal A New York student was ar-
at Manhattan Early College Two Florida teens were ar-
School for Advertising. rested after he pulled a steak
rested after recording a knife during a fight at the Urban
Tossman saw student Luis Snapchat video of themselves Assembly School for Careers in
Penzo in a school hallway with playing with a gun in a restroom Sports. According to reports, the
his headphones blasting loudly at Cypress Creek High School. knife-wielding student was
and asked him to turn the music Another student saw the video jumped by an older boy in the
down, according to police re- and told a parent, who notified hallway. A school safety agent
ports. police. The boys have been in grabbed the weapon before any-
Penzo refused and punched custody since they were ar- one was stabbed.
Tossman several times in the rested. Both face felony firearm
face. He was taken to a nearby charges. A Pennsylvania student was
hospital, where he was treated
for swelling and laceration In Michigan, two Marshall High charged with possession of a
around both eyes. weapon after a random security
Penzo was arrested on assault School teens face up to 40 years check at an Easton Area School
charges and is being held on in prison after posting threats District’s alternative school. The
$5,000 bond. along with pictures of themselves 18-year-old had the knife tucked
with weapons on social media. into his shoe. He was arrested
Both students were taken to a ju- and is currently being held on a
venile facility. The district can- $20,000 bond.
celled classes at all schools for
the day. In South Dakota, a fight over

A Mississippi middle school a girl ended with a student being
sliced with a knife in the gym
student was arrested for al- locker room at North Middle
legedly bringing a loaded hand- School. According to the victim’s
gun, 100 rounds of ammunition, mother, the attacker approached
an extra magazine and a mask to her son from behind, started
North Gulfport 7th & 8th Grade kicking him, pulled the knife and
School. School officials were stabbed at his back. The victim
tipped off and called the SRO. was able to jump away, so the in-
The 14-year-old got the weapon jury was minor. No teachers were
from a relative’s home, according supervising students in the locker
to police. They, along with school room, according to the angry
officials, urged the community to mother.

A 13-year-old in South Car- New discipline rules tie
olina was arrested after pulling teachers’ hands

a gun on classmates during an Heads up: Many school officials
argument at Cane Bay Middle need to study a brand new set of
School. According to reports, the rules — because student disci-
student pulled the magazine out pline just got a whole lot trickier!
— to show the students it was
real and loaded — before sliding The New York Department of Ed-
the magazine back into place ucation (DOE) has adopted a
and wielding the weapon again. student disciplinary code that
Turns out, the weapon was reg- aims to keep students in the
istered to the boy’s stepfather, classroom.
who told police he didn’t know
the weapon had been taken. The
teenager faces several charges,
including having a weapon on
school property, pointing a
firearm, unlawful carrying of a
firearm, and assault and battery
of a high and aggravated nature.
An investigation is ongoing.

A Tennessee teacher found a Under the new code:

backpack that had been left in 1. students can’t be suspended
the classroom at Fairley High for one-time, low-level offenses
School. It contained a handgun
loaded with five rounds, mari- 2. maximum suspensions for
juana and a wallet with the mid-level infractions – pushing,
owner’s license and ID card. The drawing graffiti – will be reduced
student was arrested after he ad- from 10 days to 5 days for young
mitted the bag — and its con- students, and
tents — belonged to him. He was
charged with carrying a weapon 3. no students will be suspended
on school property, possession for transgressions like being late,
of a controlled substance and un- being absent without a note, talk-
lawful possession of a weapon. ing back to teachers or carrying
cell phones.

The code requires teachers to in-
tervene quickly to correct behav-
ior. It also encourages teachers
to counsel students before re-
sorting to punishment.