Sharing EIP Resource

SHARING

EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT RESOURCES
MADE IN PARTNERSHIP WITH LOCAL PARENTS

What is authentic sharing?
Our E.I Parents asked each other, "What is sharing anyway?" They realised
that to them, as adults, sharing is a voluntary action of giving away their
things, food, money and time, for the purpose of making someone feel
included, loved or valued. This led them to wonder if they were distorting
the concept of something truly kind by forcing their children to 'share' with
other kids. Another thing they realised in their discussions is that adults
don't share everything. We don't share our phones, our precious things or
our personal items with other people. One practice that E.I Parents have
found alleviates some of the toddler play date anxiety that often leads to
fights, tantrums or even meltdowns, is asking their child to put away all the
things they don't want other children to touch before the playdate begins.
Being flexible, and remembering that a child's favourite toy today may not
be the same favourite tomorrow, can help to validate the very strong
feelings your child is having and support them.

Things we've wondered When is sharing developmentally appropriate?
Sharing doesn't really begin to develop as a concept for children till around
When does sharing really develop as a 3.5 or 4yrs old. It will take lots of practice and support for them to be able to
concept and become a choose to share, or recognise that giving something to someone can make
developmentally appropriate them feel included. Our E.I Parents decided, after much discussion, that the
expectation? term 'taking turns' is a better way to describe what we ask children to do
when it comes to giving other kids time with their toys, or toys available in a
What does it mean to share? What does it shared space.
look like for me as an adult when I choose to
share? And is that the same act of kindness How can I model and support sharing?
that I am requiring of my child when I tell Simply naming and explaining that you are sharing when you do genuinely
them to share? share something with your child helps to lay the foundation of the concept,
and you can do this well before your child is talking. Recognising and
Why does sharing seem to be so important thanking your child when they do genuinely share before 3.5yrs is also
in our culture? important - even if they are just offering you a lick of their ice cream. This
lets them know what it looks like and feels like when they do
Why do I feel so embarrased or shamed share authentically.
when my child doesn't share?
Parent Voice
How do I want to respond when my child "Before our discussions on sharing I used to always demand my child share
refuses to share something? his toys or the toys available in the community spaces. I hadn't really
thought about why, but after talking and thinking it through, I realised it
What can I say instead of requiring my child wasn't becuase I wanted him to be kind, but because I was embarassed
to share? when he didn't share. Once I realised that what I was forcing him to do
wasn't sharing anyway - it was just taking turns, I changed the way I talked
What should I do when my child genuinely about sharing and the way I thought about it too. We put a lot of pressure
does share something authentically? on ourselves as parents, and we feel like we are failing when our kids aren't
being kind. I was worried people might judge me, but when I realised that
How can I practice my values, without sharing doesn't really develop till after 3 or 4yrs old, I decided it was better to
requiring them of my child and reinforcing support my child when he was struggling to take turns and be brave
them with punishments or consequences? enough to tell other children that he wasn't finished and doesn't have to
share. I try to tell other parents what I have learned so they don't think I'm
How do I want to respond when other being mean, and hopefully they can take some pressure of themselves and
children don't share with my child? their children too."