Readers Digest

Dynamic Duos

sliced grapefruit, onions and other macular degeneration, both leading
vegetables makes for a delicious causes of blindness.
family meal.
These antioxidants are deposit-
But beware of eating grapefruit if ed in the retina, where they reduce
you are taking certain medications sunlight damage. You can bolster
– statins is one example, but talk to absorption of them by consuming
your doctor – as it can cause some dark leafy greens with foods con-
medications to pass into your blood- taining healthy fats, such as nuts,
stream too quickly, which could be avocados and olive oil. And, an ani-
dangerous. mal study in 2011 showed that lutein
and zeaxanthin may also reduce the
KEFIR & ALMONDS effects of ‘bad’ LDL cholesterol, thus
decreasing plaque build-up in your
Improve gut bacteria arteries and reducing your risk of
heart disease.
The results of a 2016 randomised,
controlled British study, published Eating kale sautéed in avocado oil
in Nutrition Research, showed that or sprinkled with walnuts is a winner.
consuming almonds changed lev-
els of gut bacteria in participants PORK & MANGO
– almond skin and almonds helped
healthy bacteria in the gut (probi- Strengthen bones
otics) flourish.
A stir-fry that includes sliced pork
Probiotics are found in fermented and mangoes is more than just de-
foods such as yoghurt, miso, sau- licious. The beta-carotene in or-
erkraut, kefir and kimchi. Helping ange-coloured fruit and vegetables
healthy bacteria thrive is important such as mangoes, carrots or sweet
because once they multiply, they can potatoes is converted into vitamin
outnumber illness-causing bacte- A in your body.
ria and bolster immunity. Almond
muesli with kefir for breakfast? In addition to its role in bone
That’s powerful stuff. growth, this vitamin is good for
maintaining the health of your skin,
KALE & WALNUTS eyes and immune system. But you
need zinc to get the optimum bene-
Safeguard eye health fits of vitamin A – it is necessary to
make retinol-binding protein that
Kale, as well as other leafy greens, transports vitamin A throughout
contains a lot of lutein and zeaxan- your body. You’ll find zinc in pork,
thin, which are antioxidants that poultry, beef, lamb, pumpkin seeds,
may protect against cataracts and oysters and wheat germ.

readersdigest.com.au 99

HUMOUR

Gout-Standing

Achievements

This month Olly Mann comes to terms
with a surprising diagnosis

ILLUSTRATION BY Dom McKenzie

T here’s only one health the condition, I had imagined that
story in town, of course, gout was strictly for portly Victorian
and that’s my ongoing gentlemen with sideburns, or blokes
foot injury. This is be- in tracksuits who subsist solely on
cause I have just discov- beer and crisps. But then the doc
ered that nasty red hump scribbled down a list of trigger foods,
under my big toe wasn’t tendonitis at and suddenly the diagnosis didn’t
all, but gout. Gout! seem so unlikely.

I know, shocking news. Pour your- “Red meat is to be avoided,” he
self a stiff drink to recover! Or don’t, said. But we’ve just got a new barbe-
if you’re susceptible to gout. Which cue! Those ribs won’t smoke them-
you might be. I didn’t think I was. selves!
But after six weeks of waiting for a
foot X-ray, I buckled and consulted “And don’t drink coffee exces-
a GP, who diagnosed it in an instant. sively.” OK, so that coffee beans
subscription may not have been the
In as much as I had ever considered best idea.

100 august 2021

readersdigest.com.au 101

READER’S DIGEST

“Cheese is especial- I DID WHAT But I knew, deep down,
ly problematic. Just a A LOT OF that the anticipation
small slither occasion- FOLKS DO ahead of the first glass
ally.” My online grocery AFTER of the evening was a
order has been 29 per RECEIVING signal of increasing
cent cheese. dependency.

“Chickpeas should BAD NEWS: He sent me home

be eaten only in mod- I BOUGHT with a small course of
eration”, he continued. SOME SHOES Etoricoxib, an anti-in-
Chickpeas? Hummus is flammatory drug, and,

my favourite lubricant in a mere three days,

and the thought it could do me harm the throbbing pain I’d endured for six

hit me like a Dear John letter. weeks subsided. Next, I did what a lot

“Spinach should be wilted, not of folks do after receiving bad news:

raw.” Eh? We all know raw spinach I bought some shoes.

is good for you! Literally nobody eats Not a sparkly pair of Jimmy Choos,

raw spinach for fun! Are you telling mind: some Crocs. If this is going to

me I could have been gobbling back be a recurring problem, I reasoned,

chips, and that would have actually Poppa’s gonna need some brand new

been better for me? sandals. For weeks I’d been traips-

“Eggs are fine, but not ing around in my ‘bin shoes’ –

too many.” We’ve got some truly appallingly cheap

chickens as pets! plastic clogs I’d bought from

‘Too Many Eggs’ is a sports warehouse specifi-

our way of life. Too cally for taking out the bins

Many Eggs could be – because they were the only

the title of my memoirs. shoes I owned that my bloat-

“And really,” the doc- ed hoof could comforta-

tor concluded, “you must bly enter.

cut down your alcohol Crocs are really

consumption.” This was only acceptable foot-

the hardest bit to hear, wear for kitchen

because, frankly, with assistants, or kid-

two kids, and a pandemic to ney surgeons, or

pull through, the prospect anyone who works

of my nightly glass (or two, in a place where their

or three) of wine had re- feet come into regular

ally been helping me get contact with offal, but I

through the afternoons. found some smart(er)

102 august 2021

TGA Number: MI – 2009 – LI – 06243 - 3

READER’S DIGEST

navy blue ones, with a little red stripe purines in their diet. Indeed, it turns
around the bottom and no visible out the majority of gout patients are
branding, and felt instantly more zen. men between the ages of 30 and 50 –
I was still wearing Crocs, yes; but at so I’m smack-bang in the middle of
least I didn’t smell of bin. the demographic.

The next step, obviously, was to Adapting my diet has been tough
spend some money on vegan cook- (I’ve cut alcohol to two nights per
books. “Got gout, have you?” said the week, my coffee consumption to two
guy at the bookstore. “So’s my mother- cups per day, and gone veggie four
in-law. Can’t eat scallops.” days per week.) But I live in the
countryside, and the idea of my toe
Then off to buy a container-load joints becoming so damaged that it
of cherry juice. “My husband’s got might affect my ability to walk
gout,” the cashier told me. “He’s through the fields is a huge motiva-
only 45!” tor. I don’t miss carbonated drinks,
overnight oats are a revelation, and
Virtually everyone I told replied it turns out red meat and cheese
they knew someone with gout. Rare- taste even better as an occasional
ly someone very old, or especially treat. Now I just need to work on
overweight, or nutritionally deprived: growing those sideburns.
merely an individual whose body
produces too much uric acid from the

Love Cheat

A man from Osaka, Japan, has been arrested after going to an awful
lot of trouble to receive birthday gifts and cards. Takashi Miyagawa
allegedly juggled 35 different girlfriends in order to get a year-long
stream of presents. He allegedly supplied the women with different
birthdates throughout the year and is accused of defrauding them
by pretending to be romantically interested in them to get the gifts
of money and clothing, which were worth a total of about 100,000

yen, or roughly $1175. The 39 year old – whose true birthday
is on November 13, though he is accused of telling three of the
women it was on February 22, in April, and in July – met the women
while selling hydrogen water shower heads though a marketing
company. His alleged scheme was exposed when the women
discovered what he was up to, formed a victim’s association, and

reported him to the police. THE TELEGRAPH (UK), NEWSER

104 august 2021



READER’S DIGEST

ALL IN A DAY’S WORK

Humour on the Job

“OK, I messed up. He didn’t have to rub my nose in it.” CARTOON CREDIT: LEO CULLUM/CARTOONCOLLECTIONS .COM

The Office-Lingo-to-English TOURIST: Someone who takes
Dictionary
training classes just to get a holiday
KEYBOARD PLAQUE: The disgusting
build-up of dirt and crud found on from his or her job. Berkeley.edu
computer keyboards.
MOUSE POTATO: The online, Home, Sweet Work
wired generation’s answer to the
couch potato. I think we need to stop calling it
STRESS PUPPY: A person who “working from home” and start
seems to thrive on being stressed calling it “living at work”.
out and whiny.
TREEWARE: Hacker slang for @H_DeQuincey
printed documentation.
UNINSTALLED: A euphemism Fantastic Beast
for being fired.
One of my students just called me
a “cruel beastie”, which I’m taking
as a sign of affection.

@BorrowedHorses

106 august 2021

Perfectly Normal All In a Day’s Work

We were dining with my husband’s LET’S GO SHOPPING
colleague, a therapist, who told us
that her seven-year-old daughter At a shopping mall, I watched
had recently asked, “Mummy, as a man was approached by
what’s normal?” a kiosk vendor. “Excuse me,
can I ask you a question?”
Our friend gave a response that said the vendor.
only a mother who’s analysed one too
many patients could give: “Normal The man smiled as he replied,
is what people are before you get to “You just did,” and kept right
know them.” on walking.

SUBMITTED BY MARY-ANNE REED SUBMITTED BY JOHN LEWANDOWSKI

In the Soup I like walking into a shop and
immediately realising it’s too
“In an attempt to be frugal, I made fancy but pretending to look
roasted red capsicum soup to take to around for a few minutes for the
work for lunch. When it came time to benefit of the salesperson, who
enjoy my fat-free soupy goodness, the already dislikes me by default.
Thermos I placed in the microwave
exploded open with a gunshot @sarahclazarus
sound. Naturally the secretary ran
over to see what the gunshot was and The manager of the shop where
saw a thick, blood-like substance I work was dealing with an angry
all over my face – so she started customer. The customer asked
screaming. him if he could talk to the
manager. So the manager spun
“The day ended with me hopelessly around in a dramatic 360-degree
trying to scrub red capsicum from turn and then said to the
the ceiling while all of the employees customer: “Hi, I’m the manager,
watched me, discussing the physics how can I help you today?”
behind my red capsicum soup
explosion while my boss paced @ItsStephaniee
around assessing the damage.
ILLUSTRATION: GETTY IMAGES
“My attempt to save a dollar on
soup cost my company a freshly
painted wall and two of those extra-
fancy acoustical ceiling tiles. They
didn’t fire me. They just call me
‘Capsicum Spray’ now.”

STEPHANIE YUHAS, FILMMAKER

108 august 2021

TRUE CRIME

SCAMMED
BY MY
BEST
FRIEND

She swindled me
out of thousands,
forcing me into
bankruptcy and
destroying my once

sunny outlook.
But I finally
got justice

BY Johnathan Walton

F R O M huffpost.com

readersdigest.com.au 109

READER’S DIGEST

fell hard for one of the old- She introduced herself as Mair
est cons in the book. But this Smyth in May 2013, when she joined
scheme wasn’t cooked up a group of angry neighbours in my liv-
by some fictional Nigerian ing room to discuss what to do about
prince soliciting me through a losing access to our building’s swim-
sketchy email. I fell under the ming pool because of a legal spat with
a neighbouring building.
I spell of an immensely lovable
woman who inserted her- “I can help,” she told us. “My boy-

self into my life and became my best friend is a lawyer who can get the pool

friend. She was also an international back!”

con artist on the run. I liked her immediately. We all did.

She snared me in an age-old con She was brash. Funny. Intelligent and

called the Inheritance Scam, ulti- outspoken. Ironically, for someone

mately deceiving me out of nearly who turned out to be a liar and a con

US$100,000. She simultaneously de- artist, she came across as a woman

stroyed my sense of self and dark- who would always “tell it like it was”.

ened my once joyful FOURTEEN She also came across
outlook. As she was as extremely wealthy.

ruining my life, she was MONTHS She wore expensive Jim- COMPOSITE: PREVIOUS SPREAD JOLEEN ZUBEK. PHOTO: PREVIOUS
also scamming dozens INTO OUR my Choo shoes and once SPREAD AND THIS PAGE: COURTESY JOHNATHANWALTON.COM
of others around the FRIENDSHIP, showed me her ward-
world by impersonating robe with more than 250

psychics, mortgage bro- MAIR AND I pairs. I later discovered
kers, psychologists, law- WERE LIKE they were all fake.
yers and travel agents. SISTER AND
She even pretended to BROTHER After our initial meet-
be a cancer victim. ing, Mair invited my
husband, Pablito, and
She was a true queen I to dinner. Over the

of the con, using dis- next year, she frequently

guises and plastic surgery to alter her wined and dined us at fancy restau-

appearance. rants and always insisted on picking

I was a reality TV producer, work- up the bill. “I have a lot of money – let

ing on shows such as American Ninja me pay!” she’d plead convincingly.

Warrior and Shark Tank, and I never We’d hang out almost every evening

saw through her masterful perfor- in our barbecue area, exchanging in-

mances. She might have got away timacies under the cool star-lit sky.

with cheating many more people if Mair told us she was originally from

she hadn’t turned me into a vigilante. Ireland. One night she pointed to

Allow me to explain. a framed document hanging in her

110 august 2021

Scammed By My Best Friend

Soon Mair became more than just a neighbour or even a close friend.
She and my husband (right) and I were family

living room. “This is the Irish Consti- the patriarch of her family, had re-
tution,” she said. cently died, and her cousins were
dividing up an estate worth 25 mil-
“See that signature at the bottom? lion euros (about US$32  million).
That’s my great-uncle’s.” She said she was supposed to re-
ceive five million euros as her share
I had no idea that, like her shoes, of the inheritance and showed me
that tale was fake. angry text messages and emails from
her cousins threatening that she
Mair brought me Irish tea and pas- wouldn’t get a cent.
tries and regaled me with stories of
how when she was a young girl, her Mair was hired at a travel agency
grandmother – who was supposedly where her family supposedly did a lot
in the Irish Republican Army – would of business.
take her to the top of a bridge and
teach her how to hurl Molotov cock- Fourteen months into our friend-
tails down on British soldiers. ship, Mair and I were like sister and
brother, even ending our phone calls
When I tearfully confided in her that with “I love you”. She told me that her
part of my family had disowned me for barristers were having trouble trying
being gay, she pounced. to secure her inheritance and that
they had warned her about a clause
“My family disowned me, too!” in her uncle’s will stating that if any
she said as she fought back tears.
“They’re trying to get me disinher-
ited.” Mair told me that an uncle,

readersdigest.com.au 111

READER’S DIGEST

family member were convicted of a first learned that her legal name was PHOTOS: COURTESY JOHNATHANWALTON.COM
crime, the person would forfeit his or Marianne Smyth, not Mair Smyth.
her share. “You’d better be careful!” I But she paid me back the next day,
cautioned. “One of your disgruntled when she was released from prison.
cousins might try and set you up!” Or, rather, the married man she was
dating at the time paid me back. Lit-
On July 8, 2014, my phone rang. tle did I (or he) know she was scam-
“You have a collect call from an in- ming him, too.
mate at the Century Regional Deten-
tion Facility. Press one to accept,” the As the months passed, Mair
computerised voice instructed me. showed me emails from her lawyers
It was Mair. I quickly pressed one. assuring her that the case against her
“You were right!” she sobbed. “I was was falling apart. I had no idea those
arrested today. My family set me up to emails were fake.
make it look like I stole $200,000 from
my job.” Then, almost three years into our
“I told you this would happen!” I friendship, she told me that the dis-
yelled. I was distraught. I found a trict attorney prosecuting her case
bail bondsman and paid him $4200 had frozen her bank accounts. So I
to get her out of jail. That’s when I started lending her money. She had
immediately paid back the $4200 I

112 august 2021

Scammed By My Best Friend

A queen of the con,
Mair used disguises and
even plastic surgery to
change her look

used to bail her out of prison, so I felt credit cards to get the
confident she’d pay me back. criminal case against her
dropped.
But that’s the thing: the term con
artist is short for confidence artist be- A few months later,
cause these individuals are skilled at Mair was arrested again.
gaining your confidence and then us- She said the judge had
ing it to scam you out of your money. charged her with money
laundering, something
Over several months, I lent Mair to do with her using my
nearly $15,000. You’d think I’d be wor- credit cards, and pun-
ried about giving her that much mon- ished her with 30 days
ey, but I wasn’t. Not only was she my in prison – a “slap on the
best friend, but she also claimed she wrist”. She assured me as
was about to inherit millions of dol- soon as she got out and
lars. I never even considered that an- received her inheritance,
ything sinister could be taking place. she would pay me back.
Mair called me reverse-charges
One day, Mair called me and said from prison every day. When I said I
the district attorney was demanding wanted to visit, she begged me not to.
$50,000 to dismiss the case against “I don’t want you to see me like this,”
her. I let her charge the $50,000 on my she said. But I insisted. So I logged on
to the prison’s website to schedule a
visit. That’s when the true devastation
she had wrought on my life started to
reveal itself.
The website showed that Mair was
serving time for felony grand theft.
This was no slap on the wrist.
I took the day off and rushed to a
Los Angeles courthouse. With trem-
bling hands, I reviewed every record
I could find from Mair’s case. I dis-
covered she had lied to me about
everything. I couldn’t breathe.

readersdigest.com.au 113

I was a TV producer, not a detective. prison, I confronted her. She denied PHOTO: SALLY PETERSON
But I was determined to get justice everything. “That’s not true, Johna-
than! That’s not true!” she protested,
I learned that the $50,000 I let her tears streaming down her face. But I
charge on my credit cards had gone was done believing anything she had
to pay $40,000 as part of a plea agree- to say. I clenched my jaw and walked
ment to a theft charge she faced for away. We never spoke again.
stealing more than $200,000 from the
travel agency she worked for. Had she I went to the police days later, in
not been able to come up with that March 2017, and filed a report. The of-
$40,000, she would have received a ficer interviewing me seemed scepti-
five-year prison sentence, not a mea- cal that there was anything they could
sly 30 days. do. “Don’t give strangers your money,”
were his parting words. So I started my
Her bank accounts had never been own investigation.
frozen. There was no inheritance. She
was not even Irish! Those were all lies I dug up Mair Smyth’s high school
she used to entrap me. yearbook and learned that she was
born Marianne Andle in Maine. She
I went home and collapsed in my later moved to Tennessee, where,
husband’s arms. “How could I let this according to estranged family mem-
happen to us?” I sobbed. bers, she claimed she had breast can-
cer and allegedly scammed friends
Eventually, my pain was replaced and neighbours out of thousands for
by anger. I was a TV producer, not a “treatments”. They told me Mair was
detective. But I was determined to get oddly obsessed with wanting to be
justice. Irish. In 2000, she went to Ireland on
holiday. She ended up marrying a
The day Mair was released from local and stayed for nine years.

In the same way that wooden stakes
kill vampires, publicity kills con art-
ists. I began turning my pain into a
profound sense of purpose. I started
a blog, johnathanwalton.com, detail-
ing how Mair had scammed me. Soon,
other victims of hers reached out.

I heard from one who claimed Mair
had scammed her out of $10,000 by
impersonating a psychologist. She
allegedly tricked our landlord out
of $12,000 in rent by pretending to

114 august 2021

Scammed By My Best Friend

have cancer. Mair had iron-deficiency be her checkmate move? I wondered. I

anaemia and would purposely avoid was apoplectic.

iron-rich foods so she would be ad- Thankfully, the judge refused to

mitted to hospital for iron infusions. grant the restraining order, and Mair’s

While in a hospital bed, she’d ask a trial proceeded. The prosecution pre-

nurse to take her photo, then she’d sented a mountain of irrefutable evi-

email it to her victims to better sell her dence. Though she was charged with

cancer story. scamming only me, the judge allowed

A police detective in Northern Ire- testimony from three other victims to

land told me that authorities in Belfast demonstrate a pattern.

had been looking for Marianne Smyth On January 9, 2019, Marianne

for years. The detective said she had Smyth was found guilty of conning me

worked as a mortgage broker in 2008 out of $91,784 and sentenced to five

and had scammed many people and years behind bars.

then vanished. I BEGAN I spent two years
All in all, Mair Smyth TURNING MY pursuing Mair. I had to
PAIN INTO file for bankruptcy be-
used at least 23 dif- A PROFOUND cause of what she had
ferent aliases and has done to me. And the
been charged with SENSE OF 24 court appearances
fraud and grand theft in PURPOSE I made even before the
Florida and Tennessee. trial – for continuanc-
es, pretrial motions,
I was determined to
get justice and called

the Los Angeles Police and hearings – meant

Department every day. A year after I’d I missed a lot of work and lost even

last seen her, Mair was arrested and more money. Not to mention the cost

charged with grand theft for scam- of hiring private investigators in mul-

ming me. She was released on her tiple states and countries to ferret out

own recognisance. all her scams.

I never went near her, but one But it was worth it.

month before trial, Mair filed for a re- I am now suspicious of everyone

straining order against me, asserting and everything. Making new friends

that I was threatening her with vio- is not something I’m good at any-

lence. It cost me $1500 to hire a lawyer more. And I’m ashamed, too. But my

to fight her bogus claim. desire to stop her from hurting other

“If a judge grants the restraining people is much stronger than my

order, you would be prevented from shame.

testifying against her at her criminal HUFFPOST.COM (AUGUST 16, 2019), © 2019 BY
trial,” my lawyer explained. Could this JOHNATHAN WALTER.

readersdigest.com.au 115

In the Land

of the

116 august 2021

TRAVEL
On the coastline of Northern Ireland,

myths and history live side by side

BY Sarah Kante

The Giant's Causeway is
magnificent to behold

readersdigest.com.au 117

Many know the is- Shepherd’s Steps takes me to the PHOTOS, PREVIOUS SPREAD AND THIS ONE: GETTY IMAGES
land as a whole, clifftop trail, where I watch the waves
which includes crash onto the basalt columns creat-
the Republic of ed by a series of volcanic eruptions
Ireland, as the some 50 to 60 million years ago, and
Emerald Isle. stare in awe at the power and beauty
Game of Thrones of nature.
fans know Northern Ireland itself as
the Iron Islands. Anyone visiting this It is a mind-boggling experiment
part of the UK will discover, as I did, to try to imagine the sheer volcanic
a lot of rugged, breathtaking beauty. power that created such a master-
After I visit a revitalised Belfast, piece, one of almost perfect math-
with its excellent Titanic museum (the ematical precision that stretches
ill-fated vessel was built in the city’s some six kilometres along this piece
shipyard), it is surfing that entices me of coastline. It’s thought that cool-
to head to Northern Ireland’s north ing lava formed these interlocking
coast and to settle in the quiet beach columns, each typically with five to
town of Portrush. But the Antrim coast seven sides; some of the columns are
has a lot of fascinating places to ex- as tall as 25 metres. Science demands
plore, and I am soon boarding a local that we wrap our heads around the
bus to nearby Giant’s Causeway, the creation of this chessboard of basalt
biggest attraction in the region. and accept the power of nature for
A UNESCO World Heritage Site, it what it is: unfathomable. And so we
is simply fascinating. A hike up the look to the myth for a somewhat sim-
pler explanation.

118 august 2021

In the Land of the Giants

Dunluce Castle was built in The Scottish giant followed, but Finn
the 16th century was saved by his quick-thinking
wife, who disguised him as a baby.
THE DUNLUCE CASTLE When the angry Scot saw the baby,
KITCHENS, ALONG WITH he decided that if the child was that
ITS STAFF, FELL INTO big, Dad must be really huge, and
returned home, tearing up as much
THE SEA IN 1639 of the causeway as he could. Indeed,
similar rock formations are found on
The tale goes that a giant named the shores of the Scottish isle of Staffa
Finn MacCool (or, in Old Irish, Fionn some 130 kilometres to the north.
MacCumhaill, a hunter-warrior in
Irish mythology) created the cause- With the weather holding
way by tearing up chunks of the up, I take the walking
coastline and hurling them into the trail alongside the Giant’s
Irish Sea so he would have a path on Causeway & Bushmills Railway to the
which to cross to Scotland. He want- town of Portballintrae, about three
ed to reach the Scottish giant Benan- kilometres to the west, crossing the
donner, who had been threatening Bush River. The village of Bushmills,
Ireland. But when he discovered home to the Old Bushmills Whiskey
that Benandonner was terrifyingly Distillery, is just a short distance in-
massive, Finn beat a hasty retreat. land, but I want to stay on the coast to
take in the scenic views of the North
Atlantic.

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READER’S DIGEST

Continuing west for another cou- cross. On narrow planks suspended

ple of kilometres, I come upon the 30 metres above the sea, this rope

precariously perched 16th-century bridge bounces as you traverse the

Dunluce Castle, which became the 20-metre-wide chasm between the

seat of the earls of Antrim in the 17th coast and a tiny island that is home

century. The castle kitchens – along to many seabirds. It’s a more modern

with its staff – fell into the sea in 1639, version of the bridge that the local PHOTOS: (DISTILLERY) DESIGN PICS INC/AL AMY STOCK PHOTO; (BRIDGE) GET T Y IMAGES; (BALLINTOY) ISTOCK.COM

and the second Earl of Antrim and salmon fishermen originally built

his wife abandoned the place. in 1755 at this very spot. I forgo the

With the sky starting to cloud over, dizzying experience and instead

I make my way to the Magheracross walk along the coast, watching fam-

viewpoint to take pictures of the ilies cross the bridge, their shrieks of

laughter and fear mingling

with the wind.

Wanting to continue

walking in such fine weath-

er, I follow the Causeway

Coast Way a short distance

to Ballintoy Harbour, find-

ing myself squarely in ‘Iron

Islands’ territory: this is

where parts of seasons two

and four of Game of Thrones

were filmed. Away from the

Try a wee dram at the Old Bushmills Distillery harbour, and the tourists on
a bus tour, I make my way

sweeping vista before finding cov- across muddy fields crisscrossed by

er while the rain briefly lashes the rivulets and overrun by rabbits. The

coast. After the rain comes the rain- ruggedness of the coast that translat-

bow, and I walk back to Portrush ed so well on television is exhilarat-

where I’m staying, watching the ing in reality: waves crash on rocks

surfers manoeuvring the icy waves strewn along cliff bottoms, seabirds

under double rainbows. whirl overhead, and the wind has a

mind of its own.

Another day and another bus. Alone but for the elements, I at-
I head east, back past Gi- tempt to continue on to White Park
ant’s Causeway to the Car- Bay beach, known for its wild surf

rick-a-Rede Rope Bridge, which visi- and beautiful sands. However, the

tors have to muster a bit of courage to tide is working against me and a cliff

120 august 2021

In the Land of the Giants

Top: The dizzying Carrick-a-Rede rope
bridge. Bottom: Ballintoy Harbour, where

parts of Game of Thrones was filmed

readersdigest.com.au 121

READER’S DIGEST

COLD-WATER SURFING

L ocated on a peninsula, and gulp down a copious amount of PHOTO: CHARLES MCQUILLAN/GETTY IMAGES
Portrush has two beaches, tea, before popping in at Troggs Surf
a lovely harbour, and the Shop again for some booties.
usual points of interest of a UK
coastal town: an amusement park; I will probably always regret
Ramore Head and its cliff edges and declining the invitation I received in
trails; and the famous Dunluce Links Troggs by its owner – none other than
golf course. the aforementioned surfing
champion Andrew Hill – to surf a
For surfers, what makes this different spot with him and his friend
stretch of coast so special is the that afternoon. How could I pass up
promise of consistent swells hitting the opportunity to go out with
its uncrowded shores. This is the surfers whose abilities far exceed my
home of six-time Irish national own? But on this particular day, my
surfing champion Andrew Hill, but it head is set on one thing only: getting
is still relatively under the radar. To back to West Strand Beach and
visit in October, as I did, is to discover taking my revenge on the waves that
it’s a surfer’s freezing paradise. had turned me into a popsicle.

I hire a board at Troggs Surf Shop Surfing the cold waters of Portrush
across from my accommodation at leaves my feet – even with boots –
the Portrush Townhouse boutique purple. I find myself covered in
hostel and jump into the water at bruises that do not appear until I
West Strand Beach. It doesn’t take thaw in the evening. And it will take
me long to realise I am seriously me a couple of days to regain full
under-equipped for the conditions. feeling in my hands. But it was worth
Within 30 minutes, I’ve lost all feeling it, and I would gladly do it all over
in my feet and hands, and my ears are again…though with a thicker wetsuit,
burning. I go back to the Townhouse and maybe some gloves.

122 august 2021

In the Land of the Giants

West Strand Beach at Portrush, on the north coast of Northern Ireland

PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES is in my way. It’s not possible to go friendly bus drivers. But this is also, I
around it – so I can only glimpse bits find out on my last night in Portrush,
of the beach I’d been hoping to get to a land still tainted by the Troubles,
between waves that forcefully hold a period of violence and unrest be-
me back. tween Protestants and Catholics
from 1968 to 1998 that did not forget
With waterlogged feet and muddy to reach this coast. A local who re-
jeans, I turn around and go back up counts his school days in vivid detail
to Ballintoy, stopping to take pic- responds to my misunderstanding
tures of Ballintoy Church of Ireland, of the rules of Gaelic Football with,
its cemetery highlighted against the “Catholic game, that”. And then he is
now stormy-looking skies. It appears quick to add that he’s not religious.
that the weather is turning, so I jump
on the bus, and soon, rain is lashing The next day, I walk through town
at the windows as we drive back to and to the bus that will take me to
Portrush. Coleraine and on to the city of Lon-
donderry, or just ‘Derry’ to locals. A
T he Antrim Coast is as far away few surfers are out, but Portrush is
from Northern Ireland’s mod- otherwise a ghost town. It is Sunday.
ern history as possible: this is a The streets may be empty, but the
land of legends, of castles falling into waves pound on, oblivious to the
the sea and giants, of fantasy and giants and the history that define this
wild seas, of international surfers and coast so distinctly.

readersdigest.com.au 123

BONUS READ

No one saw him fall off the boat in the
middle of the night. How long could he

survive in a storm-tossed sea?

BY Brett Archibald ILLUSTRATION BY Alexander Wells

FROM THE BOOK ALONE: LOST OVERBOARD IN THE INDIAN OCEAN

124 august 2021

readersdigest.com.au 125

READER’S DIGEST

t began with an invitation to surf the world’s
best waves in Indonesia’s Mentawai Islands, an
archipelago separated from Sumatra’s west coast

I by the 150-kilometre-wide Mentawai Strait. The
nine South Africans, all in their early 50s, mates
since school, jumped at the chance.

By coincidence, a similar trip was organised for
nine Western Australian friends, also in their 50s.
Their journeys – the South Africans on the Naga Laut
and the Australians on the Barrenjoey – would cross
and the destinies of two men would intersect over two
unforgettable days.

“I’M GOING TO DIE OUT HERE” like that again, I’m going to pass out.
A great weight forces my chin to my
BR ET T, W EDNESDAY, A PR IL 17,
chest. I’m tumbling. I hear a gurgle as
2.30AM, MENTAWAI STR AIT. From bubbles froth from my ears and nose.
the shelter of the upper deck, I stum- Water swamps my face and washes
ble out to the port railing of the Naga down my throat. I cough violently
Laut, a 20-metre surf charter boat, and open my eyes.
and into the full brunt of the storm.
The sea is heaving. A surge of Coke I’m in the ocean. The wind is howl-
and bile rockets up my throat and I ing and the surf boiling around me.
spew it out over the side. I’ve barely Perhaps 30 metres ahead, the Naga
wiped my mouth when I lurch over Laut is moving slowly away from me.
the side once more.
“Hey!” I scream, waving both arms
My head is pounding, my stom- wildly.
ach a corkscrew of pain. I vomit
a third time. It occurs to me what Baz, the Indonesian engineer on
the offending dish was: the calzone watch, does not hear me. I can make
pizza at dinner, with its dodgy meat out my mate Banger – Benoit Main-
filling. I feel dizzy looking down at gard – lying on the upper deck.
the water churning beneath me. My
last conscious thought is, If I vomit No one has seen me fall overboard.
“God, please make the boat come
back for me,” I pray. It forges on into
the night, leaving me behind.

126 august 2021

Lost Overboard

I wait, stunned, desperately treading bridge and quickly picks up that Brett

water. My outstretched arms pull great is missing. “We have to go back for

circles in the swirling foam as I fight to him,” Ridgy says.

take breaths between the waves. “People don’t come back from the

“I’m going to die out here,” I say. sea,” says Yanto.

I feel no fear, only an overwhelming “We all did militar y training,”

sadness that I’m never going to see my Jean-Marc says firmly. “He knows

beautiful wife and children again. how to survive.”

While the captain goes to the har-

THE NAGA LAUT, TUAPEJAT HAR- bour master to report that Brett is

BOUR, 8.12AM. The Naga Laut is sit- overboard, Ridgy, a pilot and yacht-

ting calmly in its anchorage. It was master, consults the boat’s charts.

an awful night. The stormy 12-hour When he checked on the sick men at

crossing to Tuapejat Harbour on the 2.30, Brett was vomiting over the port

island of Sipura left four of the nine beam. “We would have been here-ish.”

friends vomiting – a combination of He marks the spot.

seasickness, jet lag and suspected Ridgy considers the current – “Two

food poisoning. knots, going south,” says Yanto – and

Jean-Marc Tostee, who shares a outlines the search window on the

cabin with Brett, clambers up the map.

ladder to the bridge. Yanto, the only The captain is called on his phone.

English-speaking crewman,

is chuckling with the cap- Brett Archibald (top left) and his friends
tain, an older man Brett had on the Naga Laut. Their surfing adventure
christened ‘Skippy’. would turn into a nightmare when Brett

“Yanto, have you seen fell overboard during a storm

ALL PHOTOS: COURTESY BRETT ARCHIBALD Brett this morning?” Jean-

Marc’s question is urgent.

“The loud one with no hair?

I’ve looked everywhere. He’s

not on the boat.”

All the blood drains from

Yanto’s face. In Indonesia,

losing someone at sea means

a mandatory jail sentence for

the boat’s captain and his

first mate.

Mark ‘Ridgy’ Ridgway

joins Jean-Marc on the

Brett with his wife Anita and their I start talking out loud to my wife,
children Jamie and Zara Anita. “Neets, I’m so sorry to leave
you like this.“
He can catch up to them in the ten-
der. The boat’s engines grind back to I think of my nine-year-old Zara
life. The wind produces a cross swell and Jamie, only six. My daughter is
that sets the boat pitching and yaw- my princess. My son is my zany little
ing as they leave the bay. Mini-Me. The ache in my chest is like
a concrete weight.
RAGE AND REGRET
Regret is folding up my insides like
origami. You gave up your corporate
career in London, I remind myself.
You returned to Cape Town for the
lifestyle, but instead you’ve been com-
pletely immersed in your bloody out-
door awning business.

Now you’re going to die.
I am overtaken by rage. “This is not
fair!” I shout to the swirling clouds
above.
Without warning, great rollers
come from the gloom to dump me. I
swallow what feels like a gallon of salt
water, then cough and retch.
Torrential rain begins to fall. I tilt
my head back and swallow the fresh
water. It’s a cool balm to my swelling
tongue.

BRETT, ONE HOUR IN THE WATER. BRETT, THREE HOURS IN THE WA-

The water is warm, like a tepid bath. TER. It’s starting to get lighter. I know
My stomach lets go again – the de- that sunrise is around 5.30. The guys
testable pizza still doing its wick- on the boat will soon realise that I’m
ed work. I am dehydrated from the not there, I tell myself.
continuous vomiting and all the salt
water I’ve been swallowing. In a worst-case scenario, they’ll
get to port, discover I’m missing and
I know that I cannot let fear take then sail back. I fell overboard about
over. Keep calm, I coach myself, a third of the way across the Strait,
stay alert and aware of everything about 50 kilometres from Padang,
around you. where we had set off. I calculate that

128 august 2021

Lost Overboard

I need to stay afloat for another 11 two crew members alight from the

hours – 14 at most. tender. They had gone into the small,

I begin to feel there might be a scruffy town for an hour.

chance. A rough, tough Australian, Elther-

You’ve got to get swimming, I think. ington is a veteran surfer and sailor

By now I’ve turned around so many in these parts, perhaps a trifle ec-

times, I’m completely disoriented. centric and occasionally irascible.

With no sun, I can’t take a bearing. I But the way he handles boats and his

swim in what I hope is the direction knowledge of these waters command

the boat has taken. respect. In 2012 he started his own

Out of the blue, I begin to feel re- surf charter business.

ally tired. Swimming is sapping my He’s a good man to have on your

energy. In my pocket is a folded card- side if you’re lost in the ocean.

board rectangle with a till slip inside. His nickname Doris was given to

It’s surprisingly dry. I him when he was a

tear off a tiny corner “THAT GUY’S kid for his Doris Day-
and put it into the ALIVE,” DORIS like mop of blond
water. It sweeps away hair.
from me. DECLARES.
“AND WE GOTTA Anas gets to Doris
I’ve been swim- first. “Emergency,
ming against the GO GET HIM” Pak Doris,” he says,
current. The only using the term of
thing to do is turn respect for an elder.

around and go with Elvis, the first mate,

it. Swimming feels instantly easier. I says, “A bule has fallen off the Naga

know that ocean currents eventually Laut. In the night.” Bule is the lo-

lead to land. Every so often I tear off a cals’ term for foreigners, particularly

piece of paper and use it to assess the white ones.

current’s direction. Doris snatches up the radio and

calls the Naga Laut. A barrage of Ba-

T H E B A R R E N JOE Y, T UA PEJAT hasa, the local language, explodes

H A R BOUR, 10.12A M. “Pak Doris! out of the receiver. Doris hands the

Pak Doris!” There’s an urgency to receiver to Elvis, who writes down

Anas’s voice that troubles Tony ‘Do- the Naga Laut ’s assumed co-ordi-

ris’ Eltherington, the 56-year-old nates at the time of the incident.

captain of the surf charter boat the “The man was vomiting over the side

Barrenjoey. From the wheelhouse of around 3am.”

the 21-metre steel ketch he watches Doris calls the harbour master. “It’s

three of his Australian guests and Tony Eltherington on the Barrenjoey,”

readersdigest.com.au 129

READER’S DIGEST

he shouts into the radio. “You need to at 50, to do the active things I love
go out for this guy!” – surf, cycle, play touch rugby. This
time is going to be no different.
The reply is somewhat disinterest-
ed: “Weather too bad.” The Cape Rouleur, a road cycle
race between 150 and 200 kilometres
“Nah, mate. Get SAR, the navy a day over three days, was gruelling,
guys, the TNI.” SAR is Search and especially in the summer heat and
Rescue; TNI the Indonesian military. wind. You did that, so you can do this,
“Your boat is out here; there’s also a I tell myself.
SurfAid boat. We need speedboats.”
Minutes later, an immobilising
“Too much storm.” A loud click sig- pain crushes both my legs. Cramp. I
nals that the radio has been turned sink like a stone.
off.
Water fills my mouth, my throat,
Doris knows that there will be no my ears. I’m going to
official response. In drown. It’s a panicky
such emergencies, thought as I look up
it’s left to the chari- to the under-surface
ties and surf charter of the sea. It’s very
boats to coordinate dark beneath me.
rescue and recovery With my hips as
operations. the fulcrum, I grab
my toes and pull
He is suddenly de- them towards my
cisive. “Elvis! Load body, stretching out
up that fuel tank on
the speedboat. That my hamstrings. My lungs want to
guy’s alive. And we gotta go get him.” explode. I pull my legs together and
manage to propel myself back to the
CRUSHING PAIN top.

BRETT, FIVE HOURS IN THE WA- I splutter and cough as I slap my
open hands onto the surface. The
TER. In the morning light, I rise and cramping brings on tremors of men-
fall with the swells and try to float on tal uncertainty.
my back to rest my limbs. I quickly
sink. I glance up at the sky and search
for a break in the clouds, something
I kick myself back up to the sur- to offer more light. Instead, it starts
face, coughing, and go back to tread- to rain again. Another storm begins.
ing water. Even though the water is
warm, a cold sensation is creeping “Are the guys on their way, Neets?
into my joints. When I get tired, you have to tell me
to keep going,” I beg Anita.
I pride myself on being able, even

130 august 2021

Lost Overboard

CAPE TOWN, 6.13AM. Louise Killeen then talks to Brett: “Come home to
taps urgently on the glass at her me.” She imagines that she can hear
friend Anita’s front door. him calling her name.

Through the glass, Anita registers THE BARRENJOEY, TUAPEJAT HAR-
her friend’s look. Something is very
wrong. She opens the door. BOUR, 12.16PM. “Do you want a
hand?” Simon Carlin, one of Doris’s
“It’s Brett. I’m so sorry, Anita, but guests, asks. Colin Chenu and Jeff
he’s fallen overboard.” Louise re- Vidler are standing with him at the
counts what her husband, Craig, had stern, where the Bynda Laut, the Bar-
told her in his call from the satellite renjoey’s seven-metre twin-engine
phone on the Naga Laut. “They think support boat, is tethered. The sky is
he’s been missing at sea for about dark, but the rain is falling softer now.
seven, maybe eight hours now.”
“The guy’s been missing at sea for
Anita feels a physical force, like at least nine hours,” someone else
a blow across the face. She can’t said earlier. “He’s gone.”
breathe and hears herself gasp. “No,
no, no, no.” She slides to the floor. The comment seemed to push Do-
ris beyond his limit. “If it were me, I’d
Louise bends down to gather up her want someone lookin’!” he bellowed.
friend. She has no words of comfort. “Even if we find a body, I’d still want
to be able to give it to his family,” he
Zara comes out of the kitchen. snapped as he walked away.
“Mummy, what’s wrong?”
Doris now replies to Simon’s offer.
Anita cannot tell the children that “Come if you like.”
their father is lost. She gets to her feet
and takes a deep breath. “We can’t THE NAGA LAUT, 3.40PM. The boat is
get in touch with the boat,” she tells pitching hard up and down and roll-
her daughter. “We’re going to try to ing left to right in the swell. The eight
reach them on the satellite phone. friends have taken up their watch
Take Jamie and go and watch TV.” around the boat, crouching, jackets
or towels hooded over their heads to
Anita’s parents and her younger keep out the rain, staring out at the
sister, Helene, arrive just after 9am. churning ocean.
Helene offers to take the children to
school. In the sudden flurry of activ- Ridgy shouts, “What’s that? What’s
ity, Anita organises a small altar in that?” The men move to the port-
the lounge. She takes a framed pho- side of the boat and follow his finger
tograph of Brett off the mantelpiece, pointing out into the swirling grey.
puts down a map, positions the photo
in the Strait, then lights three candles Someone calls for the captain to
around it. stop the boat. The engines cut out.

Anita closes her eyes and prays,

readersdigest.com.au 131

READER’S DIGEST

Finally, Ridgy locates the object sky remains. Then, through a mo-
in the binoculars. “It’s not him. Just mentary break between the waves,
some junk.” As the boat, buffeted by I see it. About 300 metres away,
the wind and sea, starts a gentle turn through a shroud of rain: a boat. It’s
to port, the rain reduces visibility al- the Naga Laut.
most to nothing.
They’re heading straight for me.
On the bridge, the captain and Relief floods over me.
Yanto engage in a spirited exchange,
working out their next move. Barely It begins to rain harder. Sudden-
a minute passes before Ridgy calls ly the boat stops about 200 metres
out. “Yanto! I think I’ve seen some- away from me. I start screaming. “I’m
thing else! Tell the captain we need here!”
to turn back.”
The boat turns broadside. I can
“Captain says we can’t go there,” just make out Niall Hegarty, beside
says Yanto. “He say we go to main- Banger, on the starboard side. Ridgy
land. More storm coming. Boat not is in the stern shouting, gesticulating
good.” wildly.

“This is the search area,” says They’ve seen me.
Craig. “Why are we leaving?” I shout repeatedly but my voice is
lost on the wind. Then I see Niall’s
“Boat will sink.” Yanto is almost head fall to his chest and Banger fold
shouting now. “We need to go to his arms. They haven’t seen me.
mainland to refuel. Set out again And then they power up. They start
3am.” to move. Slowly they turn.
“Oh, Jesus, no, no!” I bellow.
“I saw something, I’m sure of it,” Stunned, I watch the boat sail away.
says Ridgy to no one.
THE BYNDA LAUT, 6.40PM. The
The men stand hunched in silence northerly wind is see-sawing be-
as the diesel engines start up and the tween 25 and 35 knots as Doris pow-
Naga Laut begins the slow journey ers out into the tumultuous sea in the
back to the mainland. Bynda Laut. Simon and two other
West Australians are holding on to
Morale has reached its nadir. the hard steel canopy. They can’t see
anything through the sheets of grey
“I’M HERE!” rain.

BRETT, 13 HOURS IN THE WATER. Despite a rising concern for their
own safety, they’re impressed with
A black cloud moves over me. Enor- Doris’s indefatigability. These are not
mous drops fall from the heavens. I conditions to be out in a small boat.
lift my head; my only focus is to get
liquid into my body.

The storm doesn’t last long. A paler

132 august 2021

Lost Overboard

The light is fading when Simon It moves through the water as if in
shouts across to Doris, “We can’t re- slow motion, its massive tail weaving
ally see anything out here anymore, its entire form left to right. I recog-
skipper.” The captain slowly nods. He nise the black edgings of its vertical
will need at least an hour to get back fin – it’s a blacktip reef shark. It’s
to the Barrenjoey. two metres long, big for a blacktip. It
would have to be starving to attack a
This weather is strange and ca- human.
pricious, and Doris quietly prays for
winds from the south that would In the next moment, it’s gone. I
calm conditions somewhat. He hasn’t cautiously touch where the shark hit
seen currents like this in five years. me. It’s very tender. I feel recharged,
though. Blacktip reef sharks keep
Doris steers the Bynda Laut to- close to reefs. I have hope I’m near
wards the Barrenjoey. The rain has
stopped at last. land.
I feel Anita’s pres-
TERRIFYING
ence all around. I be-
ENCOUNTER lieve I hear her voice.
“Swim, Brettman,
BRETT, 18 HOURS the love of my life.
IN THE WATER. Swim!”

Darkness is falling THE BARRENJOEY,
fast. The sun has set TUAPEJAT HAR-
through clouds. It in-
dicates, at last, where BOUR, 9.30PM. Back
west is. I realise that the islands must aboard the Barrenjoey safely an-
be in front of me. chored in a small bay south of Pa-
dang, Doris contacts Ridgy on the
These thoughts are echoing in my Naga Laut. “OK, so we know about
head when I feel a massive wallop your mate out there,” Doris’s grav-
against my back, like a punch, slight- elly voice booms. “You reckon he’s
ly above my left kidney. swimmin’?”

I swirl around. Then – bam! What- “Definitely. It’s not in his nature to
ever it was hits me again. I’m filled give up,” Ridgy replies.
with horror. That’s a shark.
An hour later, Pete Inglis, Simon
You’ve got to see what this is, I tell Carlin and Colin Chenu join Doris in
myself as fear and desperation bub- the wheelhouse.
ble up. I sink beneath the surface and
slowly twist around. The shark, a few “Um, Doris, the boys are talking
metres away, is coming straight to- downstairs,” Simon ventures. “This
wards me. bloke’s been in the drink for a long

readersdigest.com.au 133

“I lost my best friend

yesterday. My buddy,

Dave Kinder. Cancer, and

hard livin’.”

The statement comes

entirely out of left field.

They realise that Doris is

attempting to explain his

erratic behaviour.

Pete pulls out the

ocean chart. “Right,

mate. Let’s decide on a

Some of Brett Archibald's friends on the Naga Laut course for the morning.”

gather late on the second night of his disappearance They consider the

to figure out their course for the next day tides, the weakening

winds and fading cur-

time. It’s likely that he’s gone by rents. “We’ll go north-east towards

now ...” Padang, but at 99 degrees, we’ll turn,”

“I’m not interested in your chit- Doris announces after a few minutes.

chats downstairs.” Doris stands up, Pete shakes his head. “Nah, Doris,

shaking with emotion. “We’ll find we should head due east ... the cur-

him! We’ve got to keep at it!” rent goes south.”

T he capta i n slowly sits dow n Doris asserts himself. “I’m skipper

again. “I talked to some bule on of this boat! The tides were runnin’

t he Naga Laut. This g uy ’s 50, a south yesterday, but the current’s

bike rider. If he’s fit, he’s probably moved north. We go north. My gut’s

still alive. He has a wife. Two little not wrong.”

children. They’re somethin’ to stay “It’s your ride, skipper, your de-

alive for.” cision.”

Doris looks out into the darkness.

“Hypothermia is going to kill him “WE’VE GOT TO FIND HIM”

faster than anything else, but the

water’s warm. Also, there’s been no THE BARRENJOEY, 11.07PM. Doris

sun. I’m tellin’ you, he’s alive.” considers how he’s going to coor-

The Australians stand in awkward dinate the coming hours. He calls

silence. The captain seems to have Martin Daly. In 2004, Daly offered

taken the lack of action – from the Doris a job captaining one of his

authorities and from those around charter boats. Doris sailed the Men-

him – as a kind of personal betrayal. tawais for Daly for eight years.

134 august 2021

Lost Overboard

Now Daly commits his vessels, the eventually, running parallel on this
Indies Trader 3 and Indies Trader 4, track.”
to the search. “But if anyone’s going
to find this guy, it’ll be you,” he tells Doris paces. We’ve got to find him,
Doris. It emboldens the captain, he keeps thinking. He’s got kids …
makes him feel a little less isolated. I’ve got kids. He starts praying, “Help
me find him.”
Doris calls a colleague in emer-
gency management. “I’ve had no He takes a near-empty bottle of
support from SAR, the TNI or the vodka and moves to the deck. He
harbour master,” Doris tells him. hasn’t allowed himself to think of
“They don’t care about one guy.” his friend Dave until now.

“How far out did this happen?” Doris wipes tears from his cheeks.
his friend asks. But after a few min- Gruff exterior, big heart, he thinks.
utes’ consideration, The most amazing friend I ever
he concludes, “A h,
Dorie, he’s dead. In had. He would have
today’s conditions? walked through hell
No life jacket? You to do the right thing.
can forget it.”
“Mate, tell me
“Thanks for noth- where this guy is ...”
in’ mate.” Earlier
Doris had similar Doris also talks
unhelpful responses to Denise, his sister.
from acquaintances Her death in 2009
who work in oil-rig had taken a massive
rescue. toll on him. “I’ve got-
ta go get him, Den-
At around midnight, Steven ‘Sooly’ ise,” Doris whispers.
Sewell, a charter captain from West-
ern Australia, comes in to Tuapejat BRETT, 20 HOURS IN THE WATER.
Harbour on the Huey and anchors
nearby. Doris is grateful for the com- I notice a strange light coming
pany. Sooly tells Doris his guests are off the ocean. It’s exquisite liquid
complaining, and Doris tells him blue-green. I realise it’s phospho-
about his disagreement with Pete rescence, living plankton on the
Inglis. water’s surface. Rolling on my back,
I run my hands through the neon
“What do you want to do?” Sooly fairyland before it disappears into
asks. the wake of the undulating waves.

“I want to get all our boats in For the first time, the clouds
a line, with a mile between us break, revealing a patch of star-
strewn sky. The moon, almost full
tonight, has just risen.

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READER’S DIGEST

I use the method I learned as a It was a trick of the mind, a phan-
Boy Scout to establish south. I draw tom. Another crushing disappoint-
a mental line down to the horizon ment. I’m in an eerie, unknown
from the intersecting point of the place. Far from the living and very
Southern Cross’s long axis and the close to the dead.
perpendicular bisector of the two
Pointers and realise that in fact I THE BARR ENJOEY, THURSDAY,
have not been swimming south. I’m
going in the opposite direction. APRIL 18, 5.34AM. When dawn
comes, it’s a perfect day. Doris has
A burning lash of pain sweeps already been on the satellite phone
across my chest and around my and radio to the boats homing in on
neck: the tentacles of jellyfish. I cry his search zone. Quiet and calm, he’s
out in agony. This is pure electricity, operating with a sense of certainty
burning, throbbing.
I shake my limbs, and a purpose.
scramble through Doris watches as
the thick watery for-
est of fire and rip off Sooly steers the Huey
the tentacles. down their portside.
The faster boat will
Just as suddenly, reach the designated
the creatures dis- coordinates first.
appear. I’m panting
from the pain and Sooly smiles and
exertion. Even in the salutes the captain of
darkness, I can make out the deep, the Barrenjoey from
darkening welts they have left all the wheelhouse as
over my chest. they pass. Doris touches the brim of
his cap.
The sea is calm at last. I’m so cold. Doris watches the bow of the Bar-
I can barely stay awake. I mentally renjoey cutting through the Huey’s
shout to Anita: “Help me stay awake!” wake. Suddenly all sound seems to
stop, and an idea slowly forms. He’s
Then. A little boat. A canoe. Com- certain of what he must do.
ing towards me. Two small Indone- Doris grabs the radio. “Sooly, I’m
sian boys are sitting in it. They smile peeling off at 18 degrees further
at me. I swim up to it and reach out north. I’m dropping it by ten.”
to the prow. My hand passes through It’s a pivotal moment.
air and into the water. “Roger that. Whatever you think,
mate.”
Down I sink. I muster my last The Barrenjoey slowly turns
strength to push myself up to the sur- through the still water.
face and emerge coughing.

136 august 2021

Lost Overboard

“GOD, TAKE ME!”

BRETT, 28 HOURS IN THE WATER. When Brett first spotted the
Barrenjoey, all he could see was its
I’m focused on saving energy. I reach mast. To him it looked like a cross
forward as far as I can and pull big,
sprawling breaststrokes. My arms rising out of the water
and legs are burning.
around my tongue. My raw tongue
The sun has risen. I turn slowly in cannot tolerate the searing salt wa-
a circle. The shape of an island ris- ter.
es up out of the water before me. A
surge races through my body. Relief. I kick up through two metres of
There, another island, much further water and burst onto the surface,
away. I swim for the closer one, but choking and snorting. You can’t do
I’m not making any headway. this! You can’t kill yourself!

Slowly, feebly, I take out the last of I turn my head. Floating above the
the paper from my pocket. There’s water, I see it. A black cross.
only a square centimetre left. I tear it
in half. The current, it reveals, is go- THE BARR ENJOEY, 6.58AM. Doris
ing north, so I turn and swim with it. has steered the Barrenjoey into the
new search zone. The Australians
A speck in the distance. Moored have all taken up positions on the
between the islands. It’s a boat. I deck.
must swim to it. Each time I look up,
the boat seems to be getting closer. In the wheelhouse, Doris pours
himself another coffee. In the still-
Then, the sound of an engine ness of the morning, he hears Anas’s
starting up is carried to me. It moves voice.
off.
“Boss.” It’s almost casual. “There
Fury rises up from deep within he is. He’s over there.”
me. I begin shrieking. Smacking the
water with impotent arms. “God, At that same moment, Pete shouts
take me, I am done!” from the bow. “There! We’ve got

I sink under the water and float
there, suspended. A dome of mag-
nificent blue shimmers through the
water.

Neets, Zara, my little Jamie. I love
you more than you will ever know.

I take a breath and fill my lungs
with the salt water.

Suddenly an agonising pain burns

readersdigest.com.au 137

Doris furiously spins the wheel.
He points the nose of the Barren-
joey towards the man in the wa-
ter, then drops his head into his
hands and weeps.

Top: Passengers from the Barrenjoey BRETT, 28-AND-A-HALF HOURS
and Elvis Waruwu guide Brett to safety.
IN THE WATER. The cross is get-
Above: The Barrenjoey's crew and ting bigger. I suddenly realise
guests celebrate an unlikely rescue. it’s the mast top and spreader of
a yacht. The prow of a boat rises
Doris sits to Brett's right up into my line of sight, then her
whole length comes into view.
him!” He’s pointing to the northeast. I clock the distance at about
For a moment the men on board 400  metres. There’s activity on
deck. The men look like ants.
stand still. Then a loud gasp of
amazement sweeps across the deck. I put my head down and I swim.
Then shouting. Cheering. Whooping. When I stop and look up, the boat
is coming straight at me, only a
Doris looks out to the portside. hundred metres away.
About a hundred metres away, he
glimpses a man’s head glowing like “Hey! Hey!” I propel myself out
a beacon in the early light, and, be- of the water as high as I can, using
side it, a ghostly white arm raised and my last traces of energy.
waving.
I see a life ring thrown from
the rail and bodies diving over
the side.

My last swimming effort has
drained me. I start sinking down.
So close ...
And then an arm reaches beneath
my ribs and across my chest. I look up
to see a bright orange life ring sweep-
ing in an arc around me.
Then I hear him. “We’ve got you,
mate. We’ve got you.”

BRETT ARCHIBALD WAS RESCUED

AT 7.15AM ON APRIL 18, 2013. He had
drifted approximately 70 kilometres

138 august 2021

Lost Overboard

from where he went overboard. He In 2014, Surfing Australia, the sport’s
was shaky and sunburnt, but other- representative organisation, gave
wise in good condition. Tony ‘Doris’ Eltherington the Peter
Troy Lifestyle Award for his contri-
Doris Eltherington was a reluctant butions to surfing and the Waterman
hero, remaining on the bridge until of the Year Award for his heroism in
his guests insisted he come down to rescuing Brett.
meet Brett.
EXCERPTED FROM THE BOOK ALONE: LOST
Brett phoned Anita, who sobbed OVERBOARD IN THE INDIAN OCEAN BY BRETT
with joy and relief. He had a raptur- ARCHIBALD, © 2016 BY BRETT ARCHIBALD.
ous reunion with his friends on the REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION OF LITTLE, BROWN
Naga Laut when they caught up with BOOK GROUP, A DIVISION OF HACHETTE UK.
the Barrenjoey. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

CONTACT CROSSWORD

Puzzle
Answers

From pages

150-152





SIX SUDOKU 2 3

1







4 5 6







readersdigest.com.au 139



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readersdigest.com.au 145

THE GRAB A PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES
GENIUS
SECTION ROPE

Sharpen Your The benefit can be almost as
Mind much mental as it is physical

146 august 2021 BY Lindsay Bottoms

FROM THE CONVERSATION.COM

WHILE MANY OF US may remember
skipping as something we did as chil-
dren, the pastime has regained pop-
ularity during the pandemic as a way
of keeping fit.

Not only is skipping a fun, af-
fordable and portable form of

exercise, it also has many
benefits for our health and
fitness. Here are just a few
reasons why skipping is such
a good form of exercise.

1 IT IMPROVES CARDIO-

VASCULAR FITNESS Skipping

has long been used by boxers as
a form of training to help improve
their footwork and general condi-
tioning.
Skipping will cause an increase in
heart rate and breathing similar to if
you went jogging. If you were to skip
for ten minutes every day, you would
create adaptations to your body
that are beneficial to cardiovascular

The Genius Section

health, such as lowering blood pres- There are so many different exercis-
sure and reducing resting heart rate. es you can do with the rope and each
one requires different coordination to
Skipping will also increase your car- complete the exercise. This may help
diorespiratory fitness which essential- exercise your brain as well.
ly means your body becomes more ef-
ficient at taking up and using oxygen. 4 IT INCREASES BONE MIN-

Research has shown that cardiores- ERAL DENSITY Skipping involves
piratory fitness is linked to improved
health and longevity. Improved cardi- making impact with the ground with
orespiratory fitness has been shown to every jump. These impacts cause our
reduce blood pressure, reduce inflam- bones to remodel themselves to be-
mation in the body and lower chances come stronger, thus increasing bone
of developing diabetes and many oth- density. Bone density can be a benefit
er chronic diseases. later on in life, when it naturally be-
gins to decrease.
2 IT’S A FULL BODY WORKOUT
Higher bone mineral densi-
Skipping is a full body workout ty makes you less likely to break a
which uses your abdominal mus- bone or develop osteoporosis as you
cles to stabilise the body, your legs get older. Hip fractures are a major
for jumping, and your shoulders and cause of morbidity and mortality in
arms for turning the rope. It there- older people, leading to loss of in-
fore provides an all over workout dependence and a huge economic
rather than just isolating one por- burden. Improving bone density and
tion of the body. balance throughout your life reduces
the chances of trips and falls later on.
Full body workouts increase mus-
cle tone, which will help with all dai- 5 IT INCREASES SPEED Because
ly activities, and increase our resting
metabolism, which helps us burn skipping requires fast movement of
kilojoules even while resting. the feet and arms, it’s considered a
plyometric exercise. This is where the
3 IT IMPROVES COORDINA- muscles exert maximum force in short
intervals of time, with the goal of in-
TION AND MOTOR SKILLS Skip- creasing power.

ping involves coordination to time Plyometric exercise is used in the
your jump with the rope. Research has sporting world to increase an ath-
shown that it improves coordination, lete’s speed. A lot of exercises, such
balance and basic movement skills in as jogging, only improve cardiovas-
children. These are important fitness cular health – whereas skipping has
components for later in life as they the added benefit of improving speed
reduce our chances of trips and falls.

readersdigest.com.au 147

READER’S DIGEST

as well. Daily skipping may help you is that there are so many different
run quicker than before. ways you can jump and hop over
the rope. You can create a varied
6 IT’S TIME EFFICIENT Skipping workout which helps maintain your
enjoyment.
offers many health benefits that may
be achieved in a short period of time. However, it’s worth noting that
Because it’s a full body exercise that skipping can put a lot of force on our
requires speed and coordination, you lower limbs when we land. Though
could argue that it’s a form of high this improves our bone mineral den-
intensity interval training (HIIT). sity, it can lead to lower-body injury,
especially if we’re not used to this
HIIT exercise is where you have force. But different jumping styles,
short bouts of high intensity efforts a soft surface and good pair of train-
followed by a short rest interval. This ers can help ease force and reduce
is repeated several times. HIIT has chance of injury. As with all types of
been shown to produce higher levels exercise, it’s good to build up dura-
of cardiorespiratory fitness in compar- tion gradually. This will help mini-
ison to traditional endurance training. mise injury.

It’s also more time efficient, as you Overall, skipping could be a very
can perform exercise over a shorter beneficial form of exercise. Not only
period. This is why HIIT training has does it improve many important as-
become the most popular workout pects of our health – including cardi-
worldwide. ovascular health and bone density –
but it’s also affordable, portable and
Skipping is easily adaptable, and doesn’t require much space.
can be a high-intensity workout de-
pending on the effort and power a Lindsay Bottoms is a Researcher
person puts into their training. in Exercise and Health Physiology
at the University of Hertfordshire.
7 IT’S ENJOYABLE One of the
THIS ARTICLE IS REPUBLISHED FROM
most important points we need to H T T P S:// T H ECO N V ER S AT I O N.CO M
consider to help us change our exer- UNDER A CREATIVE COMMONS LICENCE.
cise habits is that what we do needs to
be enjoyable to us. One of the biggest PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES
barriers for people when it comes to
sticking with exercise is enjoyment.
And research shows enjoying ex-
ercise is critical for helping us
change our exercise habits and
continue exercising.

The great thing about skipping

148 august 2021