An Awakening in Me, The Stir to My Swirl

Tick tock! Tick tock! Look at how time flies.

Never have I expected I will survive in this
field for five months.

Working in a general hospital at the
Orthopaedic Department currently is

draining my energy.

How many sunrises have I put behind?
How many sunsets have I missed out?

I am constantly in this
swirl of hectic life. I
sighed as I thought of

this helplessness.

Walking with my only companion (I mean
the tumbler with my favourite coffee),

I reached the empty pantry. I guess
everyone was busy battling at the war field

now, serving the patients.

I took a 30-minute break before my next
shift. I took a seat and thought to myself,

When will this end?
I want to flee.
Give me a break.

A day would be sufficed.

The coffee in my tumbler was having its own
time, giving out the aroma to soothe me and
please my eyes with its swirl, connected to

the coffee foam at the right side of the
tumbler. I stared into the swirl, thinking of
my life as a doctor which was much like the

unending swirl, too.

If I stirred the coffee and the swirl would
be seen no more. I remember the day I

received my first posting; the naive part of
me thought that I am serving in my own
hometown and I can be close to my family.
However, the reality has been knocking me
hard, especially with the worst pandemic
ever, the invasion of COVID-19, the most

feared enemy by everyone. As I stirred my
coffee, an awakening came to me. The
COVID-19 pandemic has stirred my swirl
away.

It occurred on a Friday last August and
ever since, this encounter became one of
the treasures I locked in the corner of the

drawer somewhere in my mind.

Same old, same old.

I was accompanied by
my best companion, the
same coffee I savoured,

when I entered my
workplace.

I walked into the ward and jotted down the
updates of the COVID-19 patients’ records.
With the current information in my hands, I
presented them to the medical officers and

the specialists, the seniors whom I am
learning from and getting an occasional
reprimand. During the presentation, I also
shared my plans in aiding the patients. It
was a lucky day for me because my session
went on smoothly and the seniors were

impressed, too.

A day has its ups and downs. I think I was
held up high in the morning, without

expecting the down would befall me in the
afternoon. The stir to my swirl.

The afternoon was here and
I was getting ready by
putting on my warrior’s
uniform, the personal

protective equipment (PPE).

Once again, I entered the war zone and
inspected the COVID-19 patients. Throughout
the inspection, my focus was solely on taking
off this uniform and quitting being a warrior.

There was no rest as 40 to 50 patients
were waiting for my service.

Unforeseen, a 55-year-old male patient
complained about his breathing

difficulty. I guess he was suffocating
like me right now, although his

suffocation was deemed to be more
severe than mine. Without hesitation,
we put non-invasive ventilation upon him

but failed to recover his oxygen
saturation.

He was later transferred to the
COVID-19 Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and

intubated for respiratory distress.
Seeing his state, death came across my

mind and I was drowned in my fear,
suffocating even more. All I could do
was hoping for this patient to fight and

survive.

Fortunately, he was stable after a
number of attempts. The stir to my swirl
happened when I saw him smiling when he
was awake. Albeit he was in pain, he
managed to go through it with his smile
and laughter. Curious as a cat, I started
to pay more attention to him. However,
when it rains, it pours.

He was initially admitted to the
hospital for a right foot abscess
surgery and underwent the
second surgery for wound healing,

then he tested positive for COVID-19
and later underwent a third surgery for
total wound closure. Phew. What a life!
Unending swirls.

Spring comes after winter. Persevering
and smiling through his pain, he went
through every obstacle and he put his

trust on us (a whining doctor like me, who
was ready to give up anytime). He stirred

his swirls away with his persistence.

Thankfully, he was discharged and would
undergo constant check-up at the
polyclinic.

I returned to the present and looked at
the coffee in my hand. The swirl was no

longer there. It changed into an
unrecognisable pattern, but definitely
prettier than before. I smiled to myself
and sipped my coffee, which was now

warm.

An awakening. I thought I must be the
stir to other patients, too, helping them to

get out of the never-ending swirls.
Especially in this fight against the worst
enemy. As a frontline worker, I must be

persistent and persevere in my role.

This time, I would be more
determined in convincing my
patients to get vaccination. The
stir to the swirl of COVID-19.

Though the vaccines might not be the best
stir to the swirl, I still believed a slight
stir could change the swirl into other
attractive patterns.

WWAETACWRHaAySfoHaucryeodmuisratashkna.cned.s. Convincing them to
be vigilant and

responsible would
be the second stir.

Practising 3Ws and avoiding 3Cs.

Avoid CROWDS.
Avoid CLOSE CONTACT.
Avoid CONFINED SPACES.

With more stirs, the swirls could be
substituted with other appealing patterns.

I checked my mobile
phone. 30 minutes was

up.

I took a deep breath,
exhaled in the fresh air as

much as my lungs could
contain and took the tumbler.
With more stirs, the swirls

could be substituted with
other appealing patterns.

Before I walked out the pantry, I looked
into the mirror, looking determined.

I must be the stir to the
coffee swirls of others.

I walked out. Feeling more energetic, my
steps became more confident, thanks to
the stir that unlocked itself from the

memory case.

An awakening in me, be the stir to the
swirl.

Glossary

Intensive Care Unit (ICU) - a department of
a hospital in which patients who are
dangerously ill are kept under constant
observation.

Non-invasive ventilation - the delivery of
oxygen (ventilation support) via a face mask

Orthopaedic - the branch of surgery
concerned with conditions involving the
musculoskeletal (muscle and bone) system.

Tumbler - a drinking glass with straight
sides and no handle or stem.

Vaccination - the use of a vaccine to help
the immune system develop protection from
a disease .

About the Authors

DR. NGU SZE YING

Dr. Ngu was born on 2 May 1996. She grew up in the wonderful
district of Sibu, Sarawak. She graduated medical school with a
Bachelor of Medicine & Bachelor of Surgery (MBBS). Dr. Ngu is now
conducting her housemanship in Sibu General Hospital.

ANGELA BRIDGET SWYNY

Angela was born on 23 July 1982 in Miri, Sarawak. She is a Senior
Assistant of Students Affair in Sekolah Kebangsaan Lio Mato, Baram. She
graduated from Universiti Utara Malaysia in 2005 with a Bachelor's
Degree in IT (Hons.) and received her Diploma in Education, majoring in
English, from IPG Kampus Tun Abdul Razak in 2007. She is currently
pursuing her Master's Degree in Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM).

CLARA DIE MEE YIENG

Clara was born on 28 May 1993 in Sarikei, Sarawak. She majors in
TESL and teaches in SJK(C) Tong Hua, Meradong, Sarawak. She
graduated from IPG Kampus Batu Lintang with a Bachelor's Degree in
TESL (Hons.). She is currently pursuing her Master's Degree in
Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM).

DAYANG KHALIZAH BINTI AWANG BATU

Dayang was born on 7 December 1986 in Mukah, Sarawak. She is a
teacher in Sekolah Kebangsaan Matang, Padawan, Sarawak. She
graduated from Universiti Malaysia Sarawak in 2008 with a Bachelor's
Degree in Resource Chemistry and received her Diploma in Education,
majoring in TESL, from IPG Kampus Ilmu Khas in 2010. She is currently
pursuing her Master's Degree in Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM).

NGU SZE LING

Sze Ling was born on 16 April 1992 in Sibu, Sarawak. She is a teacher
in Sekolah Kebangsaan Sarikei, Sarikei, Sarawak. An alumni of IPG
Kampus Batu Lintang, Kuching, she majors in Teaching of English as a
Second Language (TESL). She is currently pursuing her Master's
Degree in Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM).