Small answers to big questions

Small answers
to big questions

Roshan Daryanani



Acknowledgements

This book came to life because of the large
number of creators - artists, authors, poets and
dreamers - whose heartfelt work I wanted to
share. I am very grateful to all of them.

In particular, I started listening to
the Unmistakeable Creative podcast about
halfway through this project and was influenced
by a number of interviews from the show. Thanks
Srini, Brian and Derek for bringing together the
ideas of some very inspiring people!

Introduction

The internet is overflowing with beautiful,
inspiring pieces that can make your day a little
(or a lot) better.

In this pages of this book, you will find
(underlined) hyperlinks to articles, videos,
podcast interviews and books. I hope that some
of them resonate with you. In my experience,
taking time to digest and act on those ideas
which stir something deep inside you can bring
about great change in your life.

Explore these resources in any way you like
– you can start with the questions that
particularly interest you, spend time on one
question each week or flick to a random page.

When it comes to accessing books, there are
many ways to do this without necessarily

buying the books first-hand. Try to find them
in your local library (or check if they can be
called in from a neighbouring or central
library). Look for them in your local second-
hand bookstore, charity shop or on Amazon.
Swap books with friends. And search online
libraries like Scribd, which can give you
access to a number of e-books and
audiobooks.

May the ideas collected in this book motivate
you to start an adventure of your own!

If you can figure out how to earn money from
what you love or use it to help others, great! On
the other hand, if you just want to practice
dancing or skateboarding or hiking because you
know it brings you joy, that’s a good enough
reason to make some time for it.

What if you feel that you really don’t know what
your ‘calling’ is? There’s a lot of different
perspectives on this. The most interesting ones
I’ve come across recently are Elle Luna’s and Cal
Newport’s – though their viewpoints are quite
different, both are worth taking on board.
They're also not necessarily contradictory: First,
as Elle suggests, give yourself the time and space
to identify something that you feel you enjoy
doing and that could provide value to the
world. Then, as Cal recommends, work really
hard at it so that you develop skills and
understand the subtleties of the field - this is
likely to help you to get even more satisfaction
from what you do.

Write, build,
play, volunteer,

travel!

Spend Listen Experiment Then
some to Elizabeth with your practice a
time interests
alone Gilbert's chosen
To get advice activity on a
on passion
regular
basis

to know
yourself
better

How to find
what you
love to doTrynotidealize
toother's
work

DSrheoanmdiangRhvsi.mDesoionng

Read Consider Debbie Listen to
Elle Luna's Cal Newport's Millman people who
post on The inspire you
Crossroads thought - and - then act
of Should provoking
and Must views on the Shonda Watch The Do
Listen to her Rhimes Lectures
subject
talk here Listen to him Explore
these great
talk here posts from
the wonderful
Brainpickings

site

The pressure of work deadlines. The failing
health of a spouse. The struggle to make the rent
this month.

Thousands of times a day, these thoughts creep
into our mind, dragging a heavy knot into our
stomach. In spite of them being our constant
companions, we’re not normally taught how to
address them. Learning to manage our negative
thoughts is an invaluable practice and a lifelong
process – one that we should be talking about
more.

1 2 3

Accept them Rest Music

We all have them - Can you spend some Music can change
they're part of being time in nature or just your perspective and
human. have a lie down? work worders on a
jumpy mind.
A nap is an great way
to hit refresh.

What
to do

with negative
thoughts

4 5 6Get inspired
Express them Create a bank of
Sit with them uplifting thoughts,
If you feel overwhelmed, videos and books
Try simply observing write down your thoughts that you can go
your thoughts rather or talk to someone you back to as needed.
than getting lost in trust.
them.
Start with The
To help with this Ultimate Guide to
try reading Feeling Awesome
Awareness and Ultimate ALL the
by Anthony de Mello, time by Lisa Esile
or watch his talk here

What if you could find ways to move your body
that you looked forward to each day?

It’s possible; it really is. We know that exercise
can be one of the best daily practices for
improving our wellbeing – perhaps it’s just a
question of finding a form of it that we
actually enjoy and can fit into our day.

Walks around your neighbourhood. A stroll
through the park with a friend. Classes at your
community centre. Games you play with your
kids. Exercise videos you follow along with at
home. New sports you’ve always wanted to try.
Experiment enough and you’ll find something
that suits you.

Remember how good
it can feel to move

Try a Dance!
Youtube
workout at

home

HToOwGEtoT usUeNmSoTvUeCmKent Mercedes
Peynado

Join a Rise up Try
fitness- yoga
related
group in Find ways to Yoga with
your area stay in motion Adriene
Meetup.com during the day
with this article

As a child, you are discovering the world the
world for the first time.

You question why we do things and where we
come from and why stuff happens.

Your powerful imagination and unaffected self-
confidence mean that you think more of
possibilities than of limitations.

Any emotion that’s inside of you is allowed to
come to the surface instead of being bottled up.
You don’t build a false image of yourself for other
people – you just are what you are.

You laugh easily and often, because you don’t
need a reason to.

All of which is to say that spending time with
children reminds us of how to live life more fully.

How to The ability How to keep
make to say what dreaming
really
cool stuff you think

What it The way How to
looks like to put ideas keep
to do what into action
you love wonder alive

When you’re completely lost and overwhelmed,
what do you do?

There is no easy answer to this question.

At the hardest times, perhaps it’s best to simply
do what comes naturally. You make room for the
pain. You cry or you shout or you curl up on your
bed; you let your body do what it wants to do
without judgement or blame.

This practice also helps you to be there for others.
While you may never be able to fully experience
their fears, grief or frustration, you can sit with
them and hold their hand as they try to work
through the chaos that life can sometimes be.

Find out how our shadows can become rocket fuel
Learn about Tim Lawrence's perspective on grief
and listen to an interview with him here

Read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
and read Eva Schloss' book: After Auschwitz

On finding healing

IN DARKNESS

Read about letting people be broken sometimes
Read Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Naomi Remen

And read her thoughts on seeking help in a
crisis here

Listen to Jerry Colonna talk about challenges
and resilience

“The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin,
beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something.
That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow
old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie
awake at night listening to the disorder of your
veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the
world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or
know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser
minds. There is only one thing for it then — to
learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it.
That is the only thing which the mind can never
exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never
fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting.
Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot
of things there are to learn.”

-T.H. White

* Recommended episodes from the Tim Ferriss show:
Derek Sivers, Whitney Cummings, Kevin Kelly

Try one new Visit your
thing each local library
week (or
every day!)

Medium Or join an
online library
Brainpickings like Scribd
Pindex Skim through
book summaries
Explore the here and here
web

How to keep

Learning

Join a Meetup Stay curious
group
Keep
Talk to real Listen to a asking
people! podcast questions

Start The The
a conversation Unmistakeable answers may
with a Creative and come in time
stranger The Tim Ferriss show*
are great

Not to get all dramatic, but spending time alone can
change your life. Really.

We come into the world as unique beings. Even as children,
we are individuals, each with different dispositions and
tastes, each with a fresh set of questions and observations
about the world that makes our parents chuckle.

As we grow up, we are told that there is only one way to
learn, to behave in society and to earn a living.

But there are as many ways to live a full life as there are
people, and using someone else’s principles to guide your
existence can leave you confused and dissatisfied. Find what
makes your days meaningful to you and then live your life
accordingly.

The very idea of figuring out what you want can
sound daunting to many people, but it can start in
incredibly simple ways. Take a short walk. Sit quietly
without your phone for five minutes. Browse through your
local library and find a book you’re curious about. Use
time spent by yourself to think about what it is that really
makes you happy.

It’s a worthwhile practice, trust me. Or I should really say,
trust yourself.

"Our society does not encourage a lot of self-knowledge.
You go to school, you go to industry, these are all the books,
these are all the blogs, these are all the movies, these are all the
newspapers. You know, there’s so much external stimuli that’s
vying for our attention, and we get taught that success comes
from our ability to absorb and analyse everything out there in
the world. It is rare that we are taught that our inner world is just
as vast and expansive and rich and deep and powerful and filled

with insight as the outer world.”

- Whitney Hess in an interview on the
Unmistakeable Creative Podcast

Why and how to spend time

by yourself

Read Watch

two great articles How To Be Alone
by Andrea Dorfman
on being alone
here and here and Tanya Davis

Enjoy Explore

this book The 100-day
recommendation self-connection
on Brainpickings
experiment
with Kyle Cease

How to be alone And the related
by Sara Maitland EVOLVE project

The tiniest, most ordinary adventures can
be very, very fulfilling.

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Ah, food.

It’s a source of community, pleasure and relaxation. It’s
also a part of life that a large number of people struggle
with.

Unfortunately, a lot of the advice out there has us

thinking that a healthy lifestyle necessarily involves lots

of restrictions and lots of kale.

It is true that turning down some of the more harmful
foods we are surrounded by every day can be difficult,
given how tasty we find them. However, it is also true
that food which is good for you can be satisfying and
delicious. And cooking can be part of the fun*.

It’s worth spending some time trying out different foods
from your local market. What fruit, veggies, nuts and
seeds can you add to your diet instead of taking things
away? You may find that having a wide selection of good,
wholesome foods that you actually like at home means
you turn to cookies less often.

*Try this cookbook, generously made available online
for free by the author, Leanne Brown.

How to nourish
your body

while truly enjoying your food

Visit Summer Tomato Follow the Food Rules

Darya Rose has a Michael Pollan's
comprehensive blog to advice on how to eat is
help sustainably change
refreshingly simple.
your food habits You can also read his
in-depth essay on food,
Start cooking with
Deliciously Ella Unhappy Meals

Ella Woodward's blog has Read Transformational
some great recipes and is Weight Loss
particularly good for those
Charles' Einsenstein's profound
who love sweets book on reconsidering your

Try these delectable relationship with food is worth a
food blogs read. It's freely available online

If you feel up to taking it a step Also, explore intuitive eating
further in the kitchen, these
sites will keep you busy with this article

I used to think that being creative was about enjoying
craft projects the way I did as a child. Now I see that it
is about so much more. Many of our everyday acts
also involve bringing to life what wasn’t there before:
a father trying to engage with his teenage son in a
different way, a woman cracking a joke to help her
friend feel better, a pensioner taking up a new hobby.

The act of making something new doesn’t simply
enrich our lives. What we create can touch other
people and enhance our connection to them. As Neil
Gaiman points out in his beautiful commencement
speech, we should keep creating when life gets
difficult. Perhaps Kurt Vonnegut puts it most
poetically in his letter to a group of high school
students: creativity makes ‘your soul grow’.

Don’t get hung up on whether or not you are a
‘creative person’: just try making stuff that you enjoy,
whether it is music or food, and see where it takes you.

You can start Create Check out
with her 'Magic something Amber Rae's art
Lessons' podcast with this for inspiration
fun, free
online class

Read Creating adds
the wonderful meaning to
other's lives
'Big Magic' (and your
by Elizabeth own!)

On theGilbert
marvellous
mystery of

making things

Enjoy Collaborate
'Make people creatively on
gifts' by John
HitRecord
Green

Transformed into a Watch this
lovely cartoon on wonderful
Soul Pancake
Zen Pencils
clip

The morning pages From an interview
Sarah mentions are with Sarah Peck on
a remarkable tool, as the Unmistakeable

described here Creative podcast

Every day, each one of us wakes up and faces our
own challenges.

Sometimes, we start to question the point of it all
and feel that it has become impossible to endure
our burdens. At these times, we turn to others for
help and comfort. We need them to remind us
that we are not alone.

Over time, as you go through more and more of
the tough stuff, you start to realise that you are
far more capable than you believe.

What you can Read The
learn from Yellow World

Adversity by Albert
Espinosa for
lessons the
author learnt
from cancer

The lesson that hope can be found in
the most unexpected places

The value of supportive friends and
family

To discover what's actually important to you

The idea that limitations Watch
can sometimes be creative forces Embrace the

Shake
by Phil Hansen

That there's strength you didn't know you
had, which you can pass on to others

Meg Worden talks courageously about
how time in prison influenced her life.
Listen to her on the Unmistakeable Creative podcast

as a summary Explore stoicism
in some depth

We supposedly live in a self-centred culture, but
if we stop to think about it, do we really put our
own wellbeing before everything else?

Caring for yourself is about prioritizing your
health and mental peace and taking actions to
maintain it. If this is something you don’t do
often enough, consider that it can transform your
life as well as influence that of those around you.

If you’re not sure where to start, James’ Altucher
summarises some basic priorities in this blog
post.

You can watching his
uplifting talk
here

Enjoy Read
'The Art of Self- Kamal
Ravikanth's
Love': 'Love yourself'
an article by and 'Live Your
Alexandra Harra Truth'

Listen to this Why self-care Read this
interview with and self-love article
Robert Holden
on the Adventures are vital by
in Happiness Kristin Neff

podcast

Read this Enjoy 'Learning to
wonderful Love yourself': a
Facebook post by
Elizabeth Gilbert book
by Gay Hendricks

The death of our loved ones is probably the
hardest event that many of us will bear.

Could this be in part because we don’t
acknowledge the reality of death often enough?
It’s too morbid a topic – we’re not meant to bring
it up in conversation.

But I feel we should.

If we really faced our fears around death, our
overpowering grief, our uncertainties about
whether we’re living our lives fully and spending
enough time with those most precious to us –
maybe this would bring to light the deepest
desires that we all share.

Watch Anita Moorjani's Dig into Patti Digh's
heartwarming book

TED talk Life is a verb

Read Paul Graham's Or listen to her interview on the
no nonsense essay: Unmistakeable Creative podcast

Life is short Explore how the
Zen Hospice transforms
Spend 5 minutes the experience
reflecting on
about this classic book of dying

by Seneca Listen to this short
message
How to
think differently from Alan Watts
about dying
And watch this wonderful video from
Brandon Stanton, creator of HONY

Reflect on this
profound advice from

Roy Remer

How do you manage anger, sadness and fear?

Growing up, we’re not normally taught how to
deal with our feelings, even though they
influence every single choice we make.

This article by Pema Chödrön is a great starting
point for learning to let emotions pass through
you. While it requires patience, developing a
healthy relationship with feelings can help us to
spend less time reaching out for our phones or
for chocolate and allow us to actually connect
with ourselves and with each other.

How to befriend

Your Feelings

Watch this great talk by Sarah Peck
Read this article by

Karen Horneffer-Ginter
Reflect on The Guest House by Rumi
and All Feelings are Children by Jeff Foster
Enjoy this profound essay by Susan Piver
Read the Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte
You can start exploring its basic premise in this

article and interview

There is something powerful about quieting your
mind enough to really absorb what’s going
around you.

When you truly listen, you put aside your beliefs
and judgements for a short while to take on
something new. And when you are ready to take
on something new, who knows what could
happen?

How to harness the power of
L I S T EN I NG s

Read 'Just listen', an article by Rachel Naomi Remen
Reflect on how listening impacts what is said

Discover the sounds around you with this article
Absorb William Ury's thoughts on listening

Enjoy this fabulous talk on listening to classical music

Learn about the power of listening to stories
Listen to Cal Fussman's reflections on his interviews

When we fail, most of us feel a distinct burden in the pit of our
stomach telling us that things haven’t gone the way we wanted
them to. Instead of trying to run away from this feeling, we can
learn to view it as something that happens naturally when we’re
on a new venture. It’s funny how often people who end up
being successful are the ones who are willing to fail, because
they don’t see failure as the end of the road. They can see it as
one more step on their journey, or as re-direction onto a
different path, or simply as part of being human.

In her warm-hearted and inspiring book, ‘Big Magic’,
Elizabeth Gilbert writes about a quote from the author Clive
James, who discovered that “Failure has a function. It asks you
if you want to go on making things”.

What if we completely reversed what happens at school and
took on projects even if we knew we might fail at them?

What if our decision to take on something new was not based
on whether or not we are likely to succeed at it, but on whether
we might enjoy it or learn something useful and interesting
from it?

What if we failed, and went on making things and making
things happen? Our lives might look quite different if we did.

Also captured as CoRnseidaedr Consider
a zen pencils
comic! what Amy Poehler says the unexpected path
about failure as a gift your life has taken
Learn from after a setback -
on zen pencils did you gain insight
JK Rowling's
talk on failure and or experience?

imagination

How to The Art of Work
think differently about has some great
examples of this,
failure particularly in the
chapter 'Pivot

Points'

Create Enjoy

a 'failure resume' the Youtube video:
as Tina Seelig suggests: Expanding yourself
write down everything through experience by
you've learnt from your
Dave Vanderveen
personal and
professional Watch

failures Jodi Sagorin's
TEDx talk
on rejection

To give is a natural human impulse.

Fear of scarcity causes us to try and accumulate
things for ourselves and our loved ones.
However, we’ve all experienced moments when
we were able to contribute and stopped to share.
Who can explain why we sometimes step forward
to relieve someone’s suffering or make their life a
tiny bit better? It just happens – and when it does,
a little more love is released into the world.

What

giveHappens when you

You Enjoy Charles Eisenstein's
talk about stepping into the
start to feel gift
more Listen to
Peter Singer's talk on
grateful effective giving

cofentYehnleoemcuwtooerdreldto ugneetYwxbpoaaecyukcstiend "Give without any
expectation of

receiving, without a
moment’s thought of
credit or debt, and

you will receive
whatever you need
when you need it."

Reflect on Watch Mark Mark Boyle
Amanda Palmer's Boyle's wonderful
words on the talk on
beauty of giving moneyless living
your art to others

We tend to have a fixed perspective on money. It
can be a burdensome subject for many people
and rarely one associated with ease and choice.

If you are willing to explore new ways of thinking
about money you may be able to identify what it
actually means to you and how you can improve
your relationship with it.

Learn about frugality on the Explore
(unrelated) Mr Money
Frugtastic Mustache's
facebook group
blog

Can rethinking Entertaining,
money inspiring advice on

BUY early retirement

4 ways to quit Follow The
the rat race is a

good episode
to start with

YOU Voluntary Life
podcast
FREEDOM?
Ideas to help you
live on your
own terms

Listen to Tune into
Barbara Stanny Radical Personal

giving her Finance
perspective on
More ideas
money on managing your

Her focus is on money
changing how
women view

money and
power

Listen to this Explore
perspective on Early Retirement
money from Extreme Learn from
Jose Mujica, Money: A Love
former President A thought-provoking
of Uruguay blog which Story

will make you This book can help
question you to think about
your relationship
modern living

with
money
You can start by listening to Kate's interview on the
Unmistakeable Creative podcast

Everyone talks about how healthy food and
exercise are essential, but having enough fun?
That’s a serious matter too.

How to have Experiment with some
more fun suggestions from this

Tiny Buddha article

Experiment with Be like this kid
Laughter Yoga

Here And here And here

Enjoy 'A playful path' Read more about the power of
by Bernard de Koven improvisation...
You can read it online
Try Improvisation by
for free joining a Meetup group

in your area

All poets go on tiny adventures.

Think about it – poetry is about breaking the
rules of language and life. It’s about questioning
and staying curious and carving out something
beautiful from something ordinary.

If you don’t think you enjoy poetry, watch
‘Unlock the Universe’ a talk by the lovely Emilie
Zoey Baker about the power of this art form.

Also enjoy the wonderful Sarah Kay performing
‘B’ and ‘Hiroshima’.

Then read some more – and write some poems of
your own!

Poetry
that can teach us

how to live

Unlock the universe

Emilie Zoey Baker

B and Hiroshima
Sarah Kay

As I began to love myself

Charles Spencer (Charlie Chaplin)

Desiderata

Max Ehrmann

A brief for the defense

Jack Gilbert

"He Would Never Use One Word
Where None Would Do"

Phillip Levine

The Sun and When Death Comes

Mary Oliver

Good food, health, companionship, nature and
meaningful work.

We know these are the ingredients for a fulfilling
life. But often we need a reminder.

Mathias The
Lefebvre - Minimalists
Piano Man on a rich life
with less stuff

Matt Jon Jandai
Weinstein on
on what
Bernie Madoff how life is easy
couldn't steal
from him

What
we really need

to live
a good life

(in 7 TED talks)

David Teresa Carey
Steindl-Rast on her

and Louie American
Schwartzberg dream

on
gratitude

Marti Stano
on

minimalism
and happiness

A smile is a strange thing.

You turn up the corners of your mouth and
suddenly feel a teensy bit better. Weird how that
works, don’t you think? Pulling down your ears
doesn’t have the same effect.

Sometimes, we can use a little help to get our
facial muscles to relax. One action on your part
can liven up someone else’s day and do the same
for your own.

SmileHow to make someone

Start here Send them a
handwritten
Tell them a
joke letter

Make them a Make them a
cake compilation of written or

Play them a fun song video messages from
from their childhood their friends

Show them this Buy them
a good book
the Scared is scared
faAnlstaosfteicatBsurirtaeeidnpoincktihnegs Play a game

aniddeYTaoshuiencLaaonnsfdtinAindrtsdooemfepHefauvni.ncgomFun

Finding out who we are and what we’re doing

here is the biggest question. Perhaps the most

important reason to explore it is to discover what
you can contribute the world and how you can
thrive while doing so.

As Anne Lamott puts it, in order to find out who
you are, you must realise who you aren’t. Over
time, as we keep letting go of the thoughts and
behaviours that don’t resonate with us, we get
closer to what we truly are.