The life T h r o u g h t h e L o o k i n g G l a s s – a d e c o n s t r u c t i o n o f J h o n L e s t e r C aya b ya b Th e jo u rn ey s ta rts h e re Inspired by the the tortured poets department album Taylor Swift of file name
Table of Contents A message to reader Prologue Dear john from the past Chapter 1 The Archer in the present Chapter 2 This is me trying in the future Chapter 3
A m e s s a g e t o rea d e r Prologue Dear reader, "If it feels like a trap, you're already in one." - Taylor Swift, 2022 Hey there, reader. As you dive into this zine, remember to take it easy on yourself. Exploring the past can stir up emotions, but it's all part of the journey. Take breaks when you need them, and know that you're not alone. Now, I want you to release all the stress and weights in your heart. This track I made is not just for me, but also for you. To start this, I considered many things, including my emotional aspects and experiences. Making this zine made me emotional, and going back to my past is not easy. But I think this is the time to tell you that you should not be afraid to speak up. Lastly, honor your emotions. This work of art is a fountain based on Taylor Swift’s perspective and inspired by the theme of her new album, "The Tortured Poets Department, " filled with inspiration, sadness, happiness, and creativity. My artwork and words will teleport you to a place you have never been. Now, I want you to listen to my track.
Lester: Dear john from the past Chapter 1 dear reader by taylor swift tsu pathway main
Dear john from the past Chapter 1 Dear John, I remember the days when you suffered so much, you were betrayed so many times and cheated on twice. I know you've been trying to stay strong up until now. Despite all the imperfections and struggles, you remained resilient. I am sorry, John, because you didn't have the chance to correct your mistakes. From all the traumas, I know it's still heavy on your heart until now. Many things have changed, from being a too soft boy who now gives excessive boundaries. I am Jhon Lester Cayabyab, known by the name Lester Lucas. Lucas is just a stage name, but there are many reasons why I chose that name. I remember when I was a kid, I always had this teddy bear with me, and its name was Rex. Very common for a child to have a toy. When I was in grade school, I was always left alone, I thought that was normal. Not until I saw everyone having friends, while I had none. I did make some friends eventually, but not all of them stayed because most of them would leave and transfer to another school. stone kingdom baguio city
One thing about me, even though I was alone, I survived grade school. Growing up with that perspective, that being alone means you're a loser, but no. I strived and ended up being an honor student. I got my first trophy when I competed in a postermaking contest and received two medals competing in a seed mosaic competition. Since winning, I gained more friends. I liked it at first, but it turned out that they only liked you when you achieve something, and that's the trophy of life. There was a realization in me that "you have them and lose them all the way." Entering high school life wasn't easy for me. Dealing with gender crisis, discrimination about myself, and becoming an overachiever. At first, I enjoyed being that way, I tried so many personalities and ended up being confused about who I am. Well, I found myself thinking, "I am the type of person who will achieve what I want in my life," not until I started falling in love with someone older than me. To make the story short, we lasted three years, and he cheated on me. The reason why he cheated was because I wasn't "enough," he said. Then, I spent two years at their place because I was locked down during the pandemic. It was chaotic. He pushed me away to go home, mistreated me, and tested my patience. Until I lost myself and had enough. tsu Sh ro o m 2 03 Sm M O a a rena: Manila manila new buildin g cuba o Chapter 1.2
That was traumatizing, but then I didn’t have a choice but to continue. I took that as a lesson for me. Then, after a year, I met this guy and we lasted for 2 years. Then we broke up last January because of cheating too. The world is cruel, isn’t it? I mean, I questioned myself so many times why. I gave them all the real love they wanted but all I received was betrayal. I promised myself not to stay in an abusive relationship. One chance is enough, and you don’t need to swallow their ego just to make them stay. And so, I tolerated all the disrespect and carelessness in all my relationships. I violated the idea of self-respect because I was so desperate to make people stay with me. Now, all I want is peace of mind and growth. never again. For my past self, nobody knows how much you suffered from past years. You’ve seen the most vulnerable version of yourself or ourselves, and you realized that it took everything in me to survive my silent battles. You almost gave up and almost lost myself because you were hurting a lot. Nobody really knows how many times I pulled myself together just to survive this year, and for that, I am so proud of you for being here. Sapang tagalog, tarlac city Chapter 1.3 san miguel, tarlac city
Lester Lucas : the archer in the present Chapter 2 The Archer by taylor swift Smith hall tsu
the archer in the present Chapter 2 Smith hall tsu I remember a quote from the movie “Kung Fu Panda” that said, “Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is mystery, and today is a gift, that’s why it's called Present.” This quote changed me from focusing on myself and chasing my future. I went from being scared about the future to visualizing hope and positive thinking. I've regained my peace now, and I can say that “The path you’re taking right now can be the wrong track in the future.” What I mean is, we're not sure about what lies ahead, and the only thing to do is trust what we can do and trust in God’s plan for us. I've experienced a lot in the past years and this present day. I know I'll face many more trials. “They see right through me,” a lyric from Taylor Swift's song "The Archer." In this song, she questions who could leave her and who will stay. In life, we don’t know who will be there for us, right? Sometimes it's our friends, sometimes our family, or sometimes our pets. It's like preparing for combat. How is this connected to me?
Well, since 2019, I've been the breadwinner of my family. I've tried many jobs and ended up with nothing. But that didn't end my dream. I kept trying until I became a tutor for a nursing student. She helped me a lot, and of course, I learned a lot. Being a breadwinner is not easy; to be honest, it drained me. I got tired of everything, I couldn’t even sleep properly, and I started losing my health. I’ve been the archer. They see right through me. Everyone knows I'm stable, a fighter, and intelligent. But little do they know, I am paradoxical. I'm paradoxical in the sense that everything I do has consequences. For example, they think I'm extroverted, but I'm too introverted. I dislike socializing, and I love being alone. Chapter 2.1 my b o o k c o l l e c tio n
I find solitude in being alone, and I love it. I'm also a bookworm; I collect and read books. As of now, I have 67 books and more coming. I love reading because it transports me to different worlds and lets me experience countless adventures without leaving my seat. Now, I don’t have time for drama and sadness, even if I’m reading depressing books. Books really changed me because they are not just books, and the bravest thing you'll ever do is to learn how to love the things that made you. Thanks to them, and also to my friends who keep checking on me every time I go silent. To my present self, I know it's a long run, but you can do it. There’s always a way and time for us. You deserve to be loved and chosen, not almost, or almost chosen. Chapter 2.2 Ta rla c stat e u niv e rsity
Lucas: This is me trying in the future Chapter 3 this is me trying by taylor swift
This is me trying in the future Chapter 3 The track I'm currently on isn't what I truly desire. Harsh reality, isn't it? I used to think dreaming was easy, but it turns out it's not. Well, I know I can make it. Whether it's by pushing myself or striving harder every day, finishing a book in one sitting, or obtaining that degree. I want to start over; I want to become a doctor. To my future self, I know you can do it. It's challenging because I need to set boundaries to achieve this profession. If not, I aspire to become a bookkeeper or research analyst. In the future, I also want to establish a shelter for dogs and cats in my community or even globally. We can save them, and I know I will. To be honest, I don't know what to say about my future. I'm not scared anymore. What truly matters now is my present and preparing for my future. I'm ready to embrace it. As I look ahead to my future self, I envision a person filled with confidence, resilience, and unwavering determination. I know there will be challenges along the way, but I am prepared to face them head-on. I refuse to let fear or doubt hold me back from pursuing my passions and achieving my goals. Pin t e rest pic t u re: d o c t o r suit TSU in front of smith hall
I am not scared anymore. I am determined to create a life filled with purpose, fulfillment, and joy. I will seize every opportunity that comes my way, knowing that each challenge is an opportunity for growth and self- improvement. I refuse to settle for mediocrity; instead, I will strive for excellence in everything I do. To my future self, I say this: stay true to who you are, never lose sight of your dreams, and always believe in yourself. You have the power to shape your destiny and create the life you desire. Embrace the journey ahead with courage and conviction, knowing that the best is yet to come. Chapter 3.1 TSU in front of smith hall
A m e s s a g e t o rea d e r / D ea r j o h n f ro m t h e pa s t / T h e A rc h e r i n t h e p re s e n t / T h e A rc h e r i n t h e p re s e n t / T h i s i s m e t ryi n g i n t h e f u t u re b o n u s t ra c k : D ea r j o h n / t h e a rc h e r/ t h i s i s m e t ryi n g The end file name AMIA SCAPE CAPAS TARLAC