Writing Portfolio TESL 4 (Group 6)

TSLB 1084 Coursework

Task 4 :
Writing
Portfolio

Prepared by:

Nur Diniy Nur Aina Aisya
bt Suhaini bt Affandi

TESL 4 Sofea bt TESL 4 Nur Anis Izwani
Mohd Sabri bt Che Amran

TESL 4 TESL 4

Table of Content

Each process involves 4 different types of essay;
argumentative, decriptive, expository, and narrative.

01. Introduction
02. Brainstorming
03. Outlining
04. Sample essays
05. Drafting
06. Revising
07. Editing
08. Final products
09. Process Documentation
10. References

Introduction

01. Introduction

Argumentative Essay

An argumentative essay is one that makes a claim and backs it
up with evidence and facts. Its goal is to persuade the reader
to agree with the point of view presented. Rather than merely
the author's thoughts and beliefs, a strong argumentative
essay will employ facts and evidence to support the argument.
(Shakespeare, 2021). For example, in this essay, it will be
explained why curfews are very important for teenagers but
somehow curfews are bad too to some parties.

Descriptive Essay

Based on Literary Terms Portal (n.d.), a descriptive essay is an
essay that describes something – an object or person, an event
or place, an experience or emotion, or an idea. This type of
essay attempts to provide readers with enough details about
the chosen topic so that they can envision it or picture it in
their minds. Additionally, using the five senses is a great way to
incorporate descriptive writing. Describing the reader's sense
of sight, hearing, taste, and touch increases their ability to
visualize the words and make the writing more understandable.
Even if it is difficult to use all five senses, even a few of them
will enhance the reader's experience (Sutton, n.d.). For
instance, this essay is an essay that describes an experience
from an ‘I’ perspective. This essay is telling us about someone
who wants to join a cooking competition.

01. Introduction

Expository Essay

The expository essay is a genre of essay that requires the
student to investigate an idea, evaluate evidence, expound on
the idea, and set forth an argument concerning that idea in a
clear and concise manner (purdue.edu, n.d.). For instance, in
this essay, the pros and cons of having a job while in high
school will be explained clearly.

Narrative Essay

One might think of writing a narrative essay as telling a story.
These essays are frequently anecdotal, experiential, and
personal, allowing students to express themselves in unique and
moving ways (Lab, n. d.). According to the website ‘My Perfect
Words’ (n.d.), when you write a narrative essay, you're telling
your reader a tale. The tale could be true or false, but it is
defined through the lens of a specific viewpoint. It uses sensory
details to draw readers in and help them comprehend the
narrative. The writer must include the storytelling conventions of
climax, setting, plot, and ending in order to write a perfect
narration. For our version of this essay, we chose the genre of
thriller. It entails the origin story of a serial killer.

Brainstorming

02. Brainstorming

Argumentative Essay

Topic: Do curfews keep teens out of trouble?
Audience: Parents

02. Brainstorming

Descriptive Essay

Topic: Journey of a country girl coming to the city to join a
cooking competition.
Audience: School students

02. Brainstorming

Expository Essay

Topic : Pros and cons of having a job while in high school.
Audience : High school students

02. Brainstorming

Narrative Essay

Topic: Early signs of a serial killer
Audience: Young adults

Outlining

03. Outlining

Argumentative Essay

Thesis statement: Curfews for teens are very important
because curfew prevents teens from promiscuity, preventing
teens from any health issues, and for teenage safety.

Introduction: If we look up the news in the newspapers, social
media, and television, most of the bad things that happen to
children because they are too free or their parents are too
busy working eventually end with regrets. Thus, that’s why
curfew is important especially for teenagers.

Body paragraph 1:
i) Pro argument 1 / Topic sentence: Curfews prevent teens from
being too open socializing.
ii) Explanation: By setting curfews for children, being too open in
friendship can be prevented especially in a boy-girl friendship. If
there’s no limit to friendship, it sometimes can lead to bad
influences such as smoking, loitering, racing, and even worse to the
extent teen pregnancy. In the age of teens, teenagers mostly tend
not to think about the consequences of their wrongdoings. They
tend to try new things they haven’t tried before, thinking that those
things are great.
iii) Concluding sentences: Hence, that’s why parents should set a
curfew for children so that they will know their boundaries. Parents
should also explain why curfews are set for their good, not wanting
them to be involved in any problems that they will regret later. As
the saying goes, do not cry over spilled milk which means there’s
no use doing that, time can’t be turned back.

03. Outlining

Argumentative Essay

Body paragraph 2:
i) Pro Argument 2 / Topic sentence: Curfews prevent teens from
any health issues.
ii) Explanation: When there are curfews, children will go to bed
early which means they got enough sleep. According to, teenagers
need to get at least 8 hours of sleep. If they get enough sleep, it
can give a lot of rewarding benefits to them such as they will be
able to give 100% focus and concentration during the study. As a
result, it can guarantee excellent results for them.
iii) Concluding sentence: There are many cons if teenagers did not
get enough sleep. For instance, teens who are sleep deprived are
more likely to have a variety of negative repercussions, such as an
inability to concentrate, low grades, drowsy-driving incidents,
anxiety, despair, suicidal thoughts, and even suicide attempts.
Moreover, studies show that adolescent mood and exhaustion
levels improve when parents choose bedtime especially when it is
reasonable for the child's needs.

Body paragraph 3:
i) Pro Argument 3 / Topic sentence: It is a fact that curfews keep
teenagers safe.
ii) Explanation: According to Police Incident Reports in Major Cities,
violent crimes are most common at night. According to FBI data,
there were 1,247,321 violent crimes reported nationally in 2017, a

0.2 percent decline from the 2016 estimate. (Murder, Robbery and
Driving While Impaired Happen At Night | 2019-06-14, 2019). The

rate of crime that happened at midnight was indeed terrifying.
iii) Concluding sentence: Prevention is better than cure. We do not
know what will happen in the future. Hence, the early step was
needed.

03. Outlining

Argumentative Essay

Body paragraph 4:
i) Con Argument 1 / Topic sentence: Anyway, curfews can cause
depression especially for teenagers.
ii) Explanation: Teen is the age when someone rebels. The
particular reason is that in the age of teens, they are in the phase of
adulting so, they become more sensitive. When parents set
curfews, they might feel like being restrained and controlled. While
others are having fun, they are locked up. As a result, they might
hate parents for doing so, they choose to be secretive and private
and do not open up to parents.
iii) Concluding sentence: As a conclusion, setting a curfew isn't the
way to go, as much as parents want a simple solution to keep their
children out of trouble. Curfews can also strain parent-child ties
and jeopardize a teen's independence. Hence, curfew also gives
cons too. Every teen is different. What works for one child might
not work for another.

Conclusion: Even though there are many cons, it somehow cannot
be compared with the pros of curfews. There are so many reasons
why curfews are crucial and need to be done by every parent.

03. Outlining

Descriptive Essay

Introduction :
‘I’ sacrificed her last savings to join a cooking competition.
Coming from a poor family
Excited to go to the city

Body paragraph 1 :
‘I’ managed to board a train
‘I’ look for a seat in the train after a long walk but it was
packed
Finally get her seat in between two people
‘I’ started to get bored and took a peek at the lady’s
newspaper who was sitting beside her
‘I’ noticed an advertisement of the cooking competition
that she will join from the newspaper
‘I’ get so nervous about it

Body paragraph 2 :
The cooking competition has started
‘I’ was in dilemma on deciding her dish for the judges
The dishes ; exquisite chicken or special dish (Rendang
Ayam Tok Wan)
At last, ‘I’ decided to make the exquisite chicken
‘I’ started the cooking by following the recipe that ‘I’ had
practiced before
‘I’ seasoned the chicken and started to deep-fry it
During the process, ‘I’ was daydreaming of winning the
competition

03. Outlining

Descriptive Essay

Closure :
‘I’ can’t save the chicken and started to panic
‘I’ tried to keep calm and she think of a possible solution
‘I’ suddenly remember the special dish by her great-grandmother
Begin to make the special dish without doubt

03. Outlining

Expository Essay

Thesis statement : When students are getting a job while in
high school, it follows with some pros and cons. The pros are
students can earn more money and they can gain more
experience. The cons are the students will be left behind in
lessons and they will be easily influenced in open socializing.

Introduction :
There are so many high school students looking for jobs
even though they are still studying. There are some
parents who allow and even support their children to work
while they are still studying. However, there are also
parents who prevent their children from working because
of their own reasons. Having a job while in high school is
followed by some pros and cons.

Body paragraph 1:
i) Pro argument 1 / topic sentence : Students can earn
more money to cover their studies.
ii) Explanation : There are many students working to pay
for their education because not all of the high school
students’ families could afford their future study caused by
financial problems. Students also need to save money for
their college. Students' reliance on loans has increased, so,
by doing a part time job they can reduce their debts.
iii) concluding sentences : So, it is true that working while
in high school can help students to settle all their financial
problems that are related to their studies or family.

03. Outlining

Expository Essay

Body paragraph 2 :
i) Pro argument 2 / topic sentence : Students can gain experiences
and explore the working environment.
ii) Explanation : Working develops real-world skills. They can at
least prepare themselves to face the future. While working,
students can obtain additional experience and improve their
talents. They can gain so much new knowledge about life. They will
see the world in another way.
iii) concluding sentences : Students who decided to work while still
studying in high school will become a little bit more mature than
their friends at school because they have faced the challenge that
everybody is going to go through after they finish their study in
high school.

Body paragraph 3 :
i) Pro argument 3 / topic sentence : Students will be left behind in
lessons.
ii) Explanation : Trying to work part-time while attending full-time
classes can be very difficult. they need to juggle classes,
homework, their social life, and the struggle to maintain their
sanity. When they decided to go to work, they became busy and
forgot about their homework, and all the tasks given by the
teachers.
iii) concluding sentences : Thus, it is clear that working while in
high school can make the students lose focus about what their
teachers are teaching and they will be left behind due to being busy
with their work and career.

03. Outlining

Expository Essay

Body paragraph 4 :
i) Pro argument 4 / topic sentence : students are easily
influenced in open socializing and participate in adult habits.
ii) Explanation : When students go to work, they will meet
more people and make new friends without knowing their
background, whether they are a good or bad person. So,
negative peer pressure typically involves in persuading people
to engage in risky conduct such as criminal activities,
underage drinking, drug usage,smoking, having sex and an
overall unhealthy lifestyle. These activities lead to behavioral
issues.
iii) concluding sentences : Students can lose their dignity in
just a second if they don’t take care of themselves well. So,
that’s why students need to be smart in making friends or
they will regret it later.

Conclusion : It doesn’t matter if the students want to get a
job or not, they have to think wisely in every aspect
because every decision that they’re going to make will
definitely affect their future. Not every student needs to
work while they are still studying. It is all up to them. They
need to determine their own future.

03. Outlining

Narrative Essay

Introduction :
‘I’ woke up with ‘Mama’ by her side
‘I’ never received proper education
Her parents grew apart
‘Mama’ touched her a lot.
‘I’ vomitted on the bed
‘I’ hid in the bathroom

Body paragraph 1 :
10 years later, ‘I’ is 15 years old now.
When I was 11, ‘Mama’ took her own life in front of ‘I’.
‘Dad’ became a savior but ‘I’ was still traumatized by
everything.
‘I’ moved in with ‘Dad’

Body paragraph 2 :
‘I’ received proper education
School years were a blur for ‘I’
‘I’ failed to make friends at school, only at home with insects
and animals.
‘I’ began to preserve small animals as it thrills her.

03. Outlining

Narrative Essay

Body paragraph 3 :
‘I’ graduated highschool, still without human friends.
‘I’ decided to take a gap year
‘I’ began to shift her interest towards a bigger prey.

Body paragraph 4 :
‘I’ started one of her plans.
‘I’ readied with a bat and knocked off her target
‘I’ had intrusive thoughts

Body paragraph 5 :
‘Dad’ suddenly asked ‘I’ what was he commotion
‘I’ lied
‘I’ brought the limb body to a hidden lake.
The body started to scream and punch and kick from inside of
the bag and ‘I’ watched.
After it slowly stopped, ‘I’ began her project.
‘I’ dismembered body parts and dunk them into large chemical-
filled canisters.
‘I’ felt the hunger to bite off a toe
‘I’ liked it so she kept the rest of the toes in her pocket and
preserved the rest.
‘I’ hid her canisters of cocktails underground and left the
scene.

03. Outlining

Narrative Essay

Closure :
‘I’ drove home with the radio blasting.
‘I’ smiled her widest smile for the first time in her life.
‘Dad’ greeted her at home
As ‘I’ walked to her room, ‘Dad’ smelled something funny.

Sample
essays

04. Sample Essay

Argumentative Essay

As online learning becomes more common and more and more resources are
converted to digital form, some people have suggested that public libraries
should be shut down and, in their place, everyone should be given an iPad
with an e-reader subscription.

Proponents of this idea state that it will save local cities and towns money
because libraries are expensive to maintain. They also believe it will
encourage more people to read because they won’t have to travel to a library
to get a book; they can simply click on what they want to read and read it
from wherever they are. They could also access more materials because
libraries won’t have to buy physical copies of books; they can simply rent out
as many digital copies as they need.

However, it would be a serious mistake to replace libraries with tablets.
First, digital books and resources are associated with less learning and more
problems than print resources. A study done on tablet vs book reading found
that people read 20-30% slower on tablets, retain 20% less information, and
understand 10% less of what they read compared to people who read the
same information in print. Additionally, staring too long at a screen has been
shown to cause numerous health problems, including blurred vision,
dizziness, dry eyes, headaches, and eye strain, at much higher instances than
reading print does. People who use tablets and mobile devices excessively
also have a higher incidence of more serious health issues such as
fibromyalgia, shoulder and back pain, carpal tunnel syndrome, and muscle
strain. I know that whenever I read from my e-reader for too long, my eyes
begin to feel tired and my neck hurts. We should not add to these problems
by giving people, especially young people, more reasons to look at screens.

04. Sample Essay

Argumentative Essay

Second, it is incredibly narrow-minded to assume that the only service
libraries offer is book lending. Libraries have a multitude of benefits, and
many are only available if the library has a physical location. Some of these
benefits include acting as a quiet study space, giving people a way to
converse with their neighbors, holding classes on a variety of topics,
providing jobs, answering patron questions, and keeping the community
connected. One neighborhood found that, after a local library instituted
community events such as play times for toddlers and parents, job fairs for
teenagers, and meeting spaces for senior citizens, over a third of residents
reported feeling more connected to their community. Similarly, a Pew survey
conducted in 2015 found that nearly two-thirds of American adults feel that
closing their local library would have a major impact on their community.
People see libraries as a way to connect with others and get their questions
answered, benefits tablets can’t offer nearly as well or as easily.

While replacing libraries with tablets may seem like a simple solution, it
would encourage people to spend even more time looking at digital screens,
despite the myriad issues surrounding them. It would also end access to
many of the benefits of libraries that people have come to rely on. In many
areas, libraries are such an important part of the community network that
they could never be replaced by a simple object. (Sarikas, 2019)

*Source will be stated in the Reference List

04. Sample Essay

Descriptive Essay

My Mother, My Strength!

My mother always reminds me of freshly baked bread. The feeling is so warm
with a sweet fragrance. And I cannot help being drawn over just like a newly
born baby. Despite this, the feeling I have for my mom is ever changing. She
is like a rose, so tough and so beautiful. She teaches me all that she knows in
what she thinks is the most appropriate time and way, raising me up to be a
mature, sensible and strong minded girl.

As I grew up, I became curious about child-bearing. I learned from books and
movies that the process was very painful. Then I asked my mom whether she
felt pain when she gave birth to me. Her face cutely turned red and said 'not
at all' with blinking eyes. She told me that she was willing to bear the pains to
have a lovely daughter like me. I was so moved that I could never forget her
gentle, loving face.

She teaches in a vocational high school, which I would not like to tell others
about when I was young because she is more of a care-taker for those so-
called bad students rather than a professional English teacher. However, she
changed my mind with her great passion for her teaching career. Students in
her school usually skip classes, addict themselves to the Internet, and have
quarrels with parents and teachers. I cannot imagine how my mom deals with
them, especially when she is the head teacher in charge of around 40
students like this. Surprisingly, those students adore my mom so much that
they call her Mother Fan, which I envy.

04. Sample Essay

Descriptive Essay

They often visit our home and sometimes bring her flowers after graduation.
One student even called my mom when she decided to attend a 'blind date'
party. I am very confused at the beginning because those students are known
for poor teacher-student relationships. Then I asked one of them. She told
me that my mom was a wonderful teacher -- she never pushes students and
she always gives them useful life suggestions. It was then that I started to be
proud of my mother for her 'special' teaching job.

My mom is also of super help when I encounter problems. I remember having
nightmares at a very young age. No matter how late it was, she would go to
my room, and hold me tight until I slept safe and sound again. When I was a
school girl, she kept a close contact with my teachers. When I had troubles
with studies, she never blamed me but gave me faith that I could keep up if I
tried hard. She is also a wonderful cook. She takes care of me with great
patience and cooks me different dishes every day. My mom is very thrifty in
life. However, she is never mean when it comes to me. She is also incredibly
far-sighted, sending me to participate in summer camps when I entered
secondary school, which made me very independent. Now that I am in
university and far away from her, she can no longer take care of me. Instead
she gives me constructive advice when necessary. For example, when I had
my first boyfriend, she taught me not to depend on him too much and keep
my own social circles. My boyfriend joined the exchange program this year
and it turned out that I could live comfortably without him, which is largely
thanks to my mother's suggestion.

'Mama is the dearest person to you in the world', just as the old song goes.
My mom is the dearest person to me and I admire her because of her
patience, compassion and toughness.

*Source will be stated in the Reference List

04. Sample Essay

Expository Essay

The teenage pregnancy rate in the United States remains high despite
decades of steady decline. According to the CDC, “ In 2015, a total of
229,715 babies were born to women aged 15 – 19 years, for a birth rate of
22.3 per 1,000 women in this age group. This is another record low for U.S.
teens and a drop of 8% from 2014” (“Reproductive Health: Teen
Pregnancy”).This issue should concern everyone because the solution is
simple, and because high teenage pregnancy rates have long-term societal
implications. The teenage pregnancy rate is higher in theUnited States than
any other western nation because of the lack of comprehensive, science-
basedsex education in public schools.In countries that have comprehensive
sex education programs the teenage pregnancy rateis far lower than in the
United States. Take the Netherlands for example, which boasts one of the
lowest teen birth rates in the world — 5.1 per 1,000 women aged 15 – 19 —
a rate six times lower than that of the U.S. (“Reducing Teen Pregnancy”).
Their success in this area hinges on their comprehensive, age-appropriate sex
education which begins in preschool. There is no reason to believe that these
results could not be replicated in the United States. In fact, “Ananalysis of
data from the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) found that 86
percent of the decline in teen pregnancy rates through 2002 occurred
because teens were using contraceptives better” (“Reducing Teen
Pregnancy”). Proper condom use is already proven to have a positive effect
on the teenage pregnancy rate. Ensuring that this knowledge is a part ofevery
sex education curriculum would certainly help lower the teenage pregnancy
rate further.

04. Sample Essay

Expository Essay

Lowering the rate of teenage pregnancy would benefit the entire country. The
CDC points out that teenage pregnancy has adverse effects that reach
beyond the pregnancy itself, explaining that “Only about 50%
of teen mothers receive a high school diploma by 22 years of age, whereas
approximately 90% of women who do not give birth during adolescence
graduate from high school” (“Reproductive Health: Teen Pregnancy”). Not
completing high school is a decision that reverberates throughout a person’s
life; many high school drop-outs are unable to attend college or to secure a
well-paying job. Without well-paying jobs, teenage mothers are more likely
to struggle below the poverty line than women who delay childbearing until
adulthood. Teen pregnancy is an issue that should concern everyone. Not
only do teenagers who become pregnant suffer a lasting stigma because of
their situation, they are also more likely not to graduate high school. They
are more likely to live below the poverty line and rely on some form of
government assistance. The solution to this public health issue is simple:
encourage public schools to offer comprehensive, science-based sex
education so that all teenagers, boysand girls, know how to avoid an
unwanted pregnancy.

*Source will be stated in the Reference List

04. Sample Essay

Narrative Essay

It was a blazing summers day. The surroundings all around me were slowly starting
to melt. It even seemed like I was about to dissipate as well, becoming a puddle of
watery-like substance left on the ground. I really needed something to keep me
going. Works been pretty slow, my surroundings been pretty slow, even my life has
been pretty slow.

“Buzz Buzz Buzz” my pager went off. I glanced at it thinking it was another
false hope of real work. I was wrong. “Murderer at 344 Triangle Dr.” it wrote. This
was it. This was actual work. But wait, this is a murderer. I dragged my sweaty self
into my house to get my equipment and work clothing as I prepared myself for the
scene. This will get me going, I thought as I managed to get in the car. I typed in the
address as I quickly ran through the steps of processing a scene in my head. Firstly,
conduct a thorough walk-through of the scene. Secondly, document any temporary
conditions such as weather, sounds, or smells that may be relevant to the state of
the crime scene. Thirdly, document the entire scene through written notes, photos,
and sketches that incorporate my findings and lastly, scan through the area and
collect evidence. I am so ready for this, I thought to myself as I stepped on the gas
pedal.

Trying to get through all the police officers, TV broadcast news reporters, and
other crime scene investigators, it’s a lot tougher than I thought it’d be just. When I
finally parked and got out, I showed my ID and walked myself steadily to the crime
scene. As I approached, I saw a body laying flat on the ground surrounded by a
pool of blood. Chills ran up and down my spine as an eerie silence slowly crept over
me. I finally got the coolness I wanted to get an hour ago, but not for the right
reasons.

I peered around, pulled my gloves up high, got my equipment, and examined
the other workers. They all look so normal as if it was just another day. I’m not sure
why though because all I can think about is this blood, who, what, when, and why
all this happened. I looked towards the ground and whispered aside to myself “I’m
going to help find out who did this so we can put this mad person away forever.”

*Source will be stated in the Reference List

Drafting

05. Drafting

Argumentative Essay

First Draft

When talking about curfews, the word that come to some
people’s minds sometimes are being locked up. However,
it's easy to lose sight of the fact that the topic under
discussion is keeping teens out of trouble. When parents
impose family curfews, a "first defense" limit is created in
the minds of teenagers. They are obliged to evaluated why
they are subjected to a curfew, most of the danger occurs at
night. The dangers of remaining out past curfew are
therefore imprinted on their minds: if they go out,
something awful will happen to them or as a result of their
actions. They are already psychologically ahead of their
curfew-free classmates since they have had to analyze the
contrasts in their environment at night and during the day.
If we look up the news in the newspapers, social media, and
television, most of the bad things happen to children
because they are too free or their parents are too busy
working that eventualy end with regrets. Thus, that’s why
curfew is important especially for teenagers. They might do
not get the point of curfew now, but they will thank their
parents for doing the right. So, what is the pros of curfew?

First and foremost, curfews prevent teens from being too open in socializibg. Being too
free in spcialzing can be defined as social interactions and behaviors deemed ‘outside of
the norms of society or ‘free of rules’. Being free is not wrong, but being too free, not
knowing limitations is indeed wrong especially in a girl-boy relationship. Since
teenagers are in the phase of trying a new things, they might be easily influenced by
smoking, loitering, racing, and even worse to the extent of teen pregnancy. In the age of
teens, teenagers mostly tend not to think about the consequences of their wrongdoings.
They tend to try new things they haven’t tried before, thinking that those things are
great and cool. The thought of not wasting their youth keeps them doing everything
whether is it good or bad for them. As proof, evidence suggests that approximately 14
in every 1,000 underage Malaysian girls, or 18,000 overall, become pregnant each
year. The Malaysia Welfare Department reported that approximately 111 unmarried
young girls were pregnant and that the recorded rate was 6 births per 1000 women
aged 15-19 years. Hence, that’s why parents should set a curfew for their children so
that they will know their boundary. Parents should also explain why curfews are set for
their good, not wanting them to involve in any problems that they will regret later. As
the saying says, do not cry over spilled milk which means there’s no use doing that, time
can’t be turned back.

Other than that, curfews also prevent teens from any health issues. The reason why
it can prevents teenagers from health issues is that when there are curfews, children
will go to bed early which means they got enough sleep. Research suggests that a
teenager needs between eight and 10 hours of sleep every night. This is more than the
amount a child or an adult needs. Yet most adolescents only get about 6.5 – 7.5 hours
of sleep per night. If they got enough sleep, it can give a lot of rewarding benefits to
them such as they will be able to give 100% focus and concentration during the study.
As a result, it can guarantees excellent results for them in their studies. So, if teenagers
did not get an average sleep, what will happen to them? There are many disadvantage if
teenagers did not get enough sleep. For instance, teens who are sleep deprived are
more likely to have a variety of negative repercussions, such as an inability to
concentrate, low grades, drowsy-driving incidents, anxiety, despair, suicidal thoughts,
and even suicide attempts. Moreover, studies show that adolescent mood and
exhaustion levels improve when parents choose bedtime especially when it is
reasonable for the child's needs. According to a 2010 study published in the journal
Sleep, children who have a bedtime of midnight or later are more prone to be
depressed and contemplate suicide. The teens' happier, better-rested state "may be a
symptom of a structured family life, not only an issue of bedtime" in households where
parents determine the time for sleep, Carskadon said. "On the other hand, a developing
youngster or adolescent still needs someone to assist them to create a structure for
their lives. Teens are not good at making decisions.

Furthermore, curfews are indeed crucial because it guarantees teenagers’ safety.
Nowadays, it has become a comoon case that was exposed in newspaper, televusion
about crimes that happened midnight. To make it worse, it mostly includes teenagers.
Most cases crimes are robbery, rape, and even murder. According to Police Incident
Reports in Major Cities, violent crimes are most common at night. According to FBI
data, there were 1,247,321 violent crimes reported nationally in 2017, a 0.2 percent
decline from the 2016 estimate. This issue shouldn’t be underestimated by parents as
time can’t be turned back. If these cases happened to their own children, who are at
the fault? That’s what early prevention is needed which is the best way by setting up
curfew. Moreover, instead of becoming victims, tennagers nowadays can also be
perpetrators. Can parents imagine if their children were the one who harmed others
just because are being too free? It is not only ruin their own lives, but they also can
ruin their parents’ lives. This is because if the crimes were too cruel, all of the family
mmebers may set aside by society to the point they need tomove out due to guilt. As a
conclusion, curfews not only keep teenage’s safety, but it also can help teenagers’
se;lf development in becoming a useful persom in the future, not involving in a ny
crimes that can eventually can ruin theirs and their family’s lives.

Last, but not least, despite of those pros mentioned above, some parties also agree
that curfews have their cons too. For instance, curfews can lead teenagers to
depression. This is because teen is the age when someone rebels. The particular
reason is that in the age of teens, they are in the phase of adulting so, they become
more sensitive. When parents set curfews, they might feel like being restrained and
controlled. While other friends of them are having fun with ecah other, having the
best moments in their life, they are locked up instead. As a result, they might hate
parents for doing so, they choose to be secretive and private, did not open up to
parents about their problems and sometimes to the extent where they actually feel
like parents are stranger, they are more likely comfortable with others. In addition,
parents nowadays are clueless about theur children’s state whether they are fine or
vice versa. For example, there are so many cases happened where parents did not
even know that their children suffered with depression. The moment they realized
was too late, it was when their children had took their lives. This issue was too
common now. Due to too busy working, they do not even have time to check out their
children. To make their works easy, they choose to only set curfews for their children
even though their children was lonely and have nobody but them. As a conclusion,
setting a curfew isn't the way to go, as much as parents want a simple solution to keep
their children out of trouble. Curfews can also strain parent-child ties and jeopardize
a teen's independence. Hence, curfew also gives cons too. Every teen is different.
What works for one child might not work for another.

05. Drafting

Descriptive Essay

First Draft

I had to used my last savings by crashing my most favourite pink piggy bank to get to
the cooking competitio in the big city and was exhilarated about it. Coming from an
impoverished and poor-family background, it will be the very first time i step foot in a
big city which seems attractive to me because i think there are many exciting things to
do there, and many opportunities to earn a lot of money. As someone who is famous
to be called as a villager, getting to the new unknown city was no easy feat for me. My
house was located in a very remote rural area, surrounded by nothing but thick
greenery.

Fast forward a few days later and a lot of asking around, i eventually managed to
board a train to the city. I heard a low-frequency rumble noise when the train passed
by. And i finally get to board my first ever train. It was a great and new yet nerve-
wracking experience. As i enter, I sighed while eyeing around for seat to provide
comfort after a long adventurous walk. However, luck was not on my side as i
boarded the trainduring the peak time, got no choice but to squeez myself in the
crowd like a tinned sardine. A few moment elapsed, and my luck turned 180 degree, a
free seat caught my eyes. Knowing that opportunity doesnt come knocking at the
door twice, i quickly picked up my hefty belongings, hugging it in my arms, and went
to the empty spots, pushing myself against the crowd while murmuring “sorry” few
times. The seat was not fully vacant so i had to sancwiched myself in between two
people. One of them was with an earphone on, jamming away with the music, while
another one was browsing through a newspaper. Boredom kicking in, so i took a peek
at the newspaper, that lady in her 30s was reading, and something familiar come in
sight. I noticed an advertisement of a cooking competition, and soon realized that it
was the cooking competition that i ought to join. Chills went down through my spine, i
was excited yet nervous for the cooking competition. Doubtful thoughts flooded my
mind, with countless unanswered questions.

“Ting”, a high-pitched sound lingering in my ears, coming from the bell
surrounded the room, signaling the start of the cooking competition. I was actually
torn between two choices, undecided for what to cook for the judges, should i for
what everyone else is cooking or should i just right away make my own special
dish. Afte r a big thought, i firmly decides to play it safe, and went for the dish that
everyone is making, an exquisite chicken dish. I always had a flair for cooking,
even labelling it as my favourite pastime. I started with chopping the onions. Then,
i chop the garlic until it's finely minced into smaller bits. The steps for the recipe
kept flowing through my head, acting as a constant reminder for myself to prevent
any unintended mistakes. i keep on remembering the whole steps to make sure
my exquisite chicken dish is completely done without any stupid error from me. In
deep sigh, while preparing for the final steps, that is to deep fry the chicken. I had
to brag that deep-frying was my all-time best skills that most of my villagers knew
about. So, as someone who had immense experience in cooking, deep frying
would be a piece of cake. Then, i took out a piece of chicken breast that radiated
its crispness on the outside, and inarguable tenderness on the inside. I seasoned
the chicken breast with pinches of salt and pepper skillfully, then proceeded to
gently put it in a deep fryer. Acknowledging that the final step of cooking was
done, my thoughts unexpectedly shifted away from the cooking and started to
daydream about winning the competition.

Surprisingly, my dream came to a halt when i was snapped out of it by an
unimagined, burnt smell. I was thrown for a loop that i finally realized the
unpredictable situation. I had overcooked the chicken. Everything went south
from that point. “Oh no!” i was lost for words, blank-mind upon that mistake. my
disappointment came across and I started to panic. My mind was racing, uneasy
and uncertain how to react. I gather up my courage and I taste the burnt deep-fry
chicken and it was an even worse situation to adapt with. I then took a few deep
breaths, pulling myself together in the process. i tried to encourage myself to get
back in track and i said to myself to boost up my confidence to fight off the
negativity thoughts. In a matter of seconds, i managed to overcome this chaotic
ordeal and came out with plan B! Considering the short period of time, the sole
option i have on the table is to prepare the special dish called Rendang Ayam Tok
Wan that my dear great-grandmother had taught me before.

05. Drafting

Expository Essay

First Draft

Nowadays, having part-time jobs have become a phenomenon among high school
students and there are many students who follow this trend as well. Even though they are
studying, they still wanted to go out, get a job, and make their own money. There are
some parents who allow and even support their children to work while they are still
studying. However, there are also parents who are prevent their children from working
because of their own reasons. Moreover, this action leads to many pros and cons that are
also attached with it. Though it may seems like working throughout high school is a bad
idea, there must still be advantages in having a job while in high school. According to the
research done by Gil (2014), nearly half of students, 45 percent, having a part-time job
with a third of students working part-time throughout the school year, according to the
survey of 2,128 students. Furthermore, 13% manage to work full-time throughout the
school year, during the holidays, or both.

First of all, what are the pros or also known as advantages of having a job while in high
school? Students absolutely can earn more money to cover their studies. It is because not
all of their family could afford their future caused by financial problems such poverty. For
many teenagers who need to save money for college or contribute to their family's
household expenditures, working part-time during high school may be unavoidable
(McElroy, 2011). Students' reliance on loans has increased as well, with 67 percent stating
that their student loan is one of their primary sources of income, up from 60% last year. A
quarter also admit to dipping into or being permanently in their overdraft on a frequent
basis (Gil, 2014). Working while in a high school will not be enough to cover all of the
student's educational costs, but at leasts it can reduce students’ debt, which is excellent
news for the students who work while in a high school. New research shows there are
more students working to pay for their education, with the number of working students
now standing at 59 percent (Gil, 2014). There are also good news that students who
worked are just as likely to incur debt as students who do not, the former borrow less.
According to the Georgetown study, just 14% of working students had debts of more than
$50,000, whereas 22% of non-working students has similar debts (Rapacon, 2015). So, it
is true that working while in high school can help students to settle all their financial
problems that are related to their studies or families.

Other than that, Students can gain experiences by working throughout high school
and exploring the working environment. Working develops real-world skills including
interpersonal communication, teamwork, and management. It also will teach
everything that students need for their future career (Webster, 2017). They can at
least prepared themselves to face the future. This allow students to learn how to
budget their own money, which is an important component of becoming self-
sufficient. While working, students can obtain additional experiences and improves
their talents. These abilities will aid students in getting the ideal employment in the
future. Working part-time as a tutor, for example, if you enjoy teaching it, you can
enhance your teaching skills and gain more experiences (Bartleby.com, n.d.). When
students go to work, they can gain so much new knowledge about life. They will see
the world in another way, for example they could know about how hard it is to earn
money. They will experience that. So, for those students who decided to work while
still studying in high school, they will become a little bit more mature than their
friends at school because they have faced the challenge that everybody is going to go
through after they finish their study in high school.

Now, let’s move on to the cons or disadvantages of having a job while in high school.
Trying to work part-time while attending full-time classes can be very difficult. It’s
not easy to do all things at one time. Students will be left behind in lessons. This
could happens because they need to juggle classes, homework, their social life, and
the struggle to maintain their sanity (cornerstone.edu, 2017). Most of the students
do not really care about this because they had lost interest in learning and studying
at school, they wanted to go out, explore the world and so on. But, they don’t realise
that school will teach them how to face the future world. When they decided to go
work, they became busy and forgot about their homework, and all the tasks given by
the teachers. They will also always be tired when they go to school because working
is not easy, they will be very sleepy in class, lost focus and lack social interactions
with friends in class. This has affected many students’ condition in school. Thus, it is
clear that working while in high school can make the students lose focus about what
their teachers are teaching and they will be left behind due to being busy with their
work and career.

Other than that, there’s research proves that students who working while in high
school are easily influenced in open socializing and participate in adults habits like
drinking, smoking, and having sex that leads to behavioral issues. Working
throughout the school year, according to a recent study by a University of
Washington researcher, may impede high school achievement and lead students to
behavioral concerns such as drug use and crime (McElroy, 2011). Negative peer
pressure typically involves persuading people to engage in risky conduct such as
criminal activities, underage drinking, drug usage, and an overall unhealthy lifestyle.
(AspenRidge Recovery, 2021). When students go to work, they will meet more
people and make new friends without knowing their background, whether they are a
good or bad person. Students may not realize that they will slowly followed
everything that their friends at their workplace did. It doesn’t matter if it is a good
thing or a bad habit. They will do anything to grab their friends' interest so that they
want to be friends back with them. Students can also lose their dignity in just a
second if they don’t take care of themselves well. So, that’s why students need to be
smart in making friends or they will regret it later.

To sum up everything that has been stated, it doesn’t matter if the students wanted
to get a job or not, they have to think wisely in every aspect. If they feel like they can
handle it, then go on. If they feel like it will bother their study, their time and their
energy, then just focus on studying at school. Students need to realize that one day,
everyone will face the working environment and experience that too and it is just
sooner or later. Students need to manage their time well if they want to get a job
because this is a very serious and important decision as it will absolutely affect their
future. Not every student needs to work while they are still studying, get a job,
collects so much money, finance their lives and struggle so hard in working. Students
actually need to enjoy their life, make memories with friends, spend quality time with
family and so many things they can do instead of just thinking about jobs only. But,
this matter is excluded to students who are really in a difficult situation and having
financial instability. They need to determine their own future, not anyone else.

05. Drafting

Narrative Essay

First Draft

The sun pierced through the sheer curtains of this room. The windows were
ajar, and the curtains delicately moved with the wind. I mustered the strength
to open my eyes as the sun rays prickled my skin. I sat upright and I felt two
warm arms envelope my body into a hug. It was Mama. She was laying down
by my side while I was asleep, but she looked as if she was already up for a
few hours now. My body became rigdi in her embrace. My insides felt
disgusting. I was nauseous. “Hey, baby. Come lie down with me,” said Mama
softly with her arms still resting on my lap. I shakily returned to my sleeping
posit:ion and stared at the ceiling. “Mama, what time is it? Am I late for
school?” I whispered. “Oh, honey. Forget about school. I want to be with you
today,” Mama answered with a lazy smile, still hugging my frame. Her right
palm slowly slid down to my lower abdominal area, and I flinched. I tried to
stiffens my body in an attempt to lessen the pain I am about to feel from her
touching me. This is the fifth time in the last 24 hours and my private parts is
hurting. My mind suddenly fogged as she slid her fingers into my pants and
my stomach hurled out so much liquid out of me. The hurls happened several
times until the bed was splashed with yellow liquid mixed with pieces of bread
from last night’s ‘dinner’. Mama yelled and I immediately rans for the
bathroom to lock myself in there. She rans after me, but I was quick on my
feet. I locked the door shut and sat on the bathroom floor staring emptily into
the walls. Mama banged and banged and banged on the door, but I sh;ut my
eyes and deafened my ears.

“I am only 5. Why Mama? I am only 5,” my heart sighed. “I miss Dad. He
wouldn’t have let this happen,” I breathed out as my eyes watered.

10 years went by, I am now in 10th grade. After 6 years of continuous suffering, Mama
took her own life. I saw it with my own eyes. I stared at her cold corpse for hours until
Dad came. He wanted to pays me a fun surprise visit. It turned into a funeral. Dad
hugged me tight and kissed thhe top of my head constantly. I had never seen him in that
state before. It was as if he didn’t want to let go of me ever again. I didn’t understand
why. Since Mama’s incident, my face froze. My body was paralyzed. The constant pain I
felt in my legs and body waas overruled by my inability to comprehend everything.
Though, I did feel one thing when Dad held me. I felt save. Nothing else apart from that.
Dad took me to his cabin down in Akron, Ohio. It was hidden in the tall trees by the
main road. He cared for me properly. I finally got to eat 3 times a day. Sometimes
more. His cabin was cramped, but it was home. For the first time, I had a home.

School was a blur. I didn’t attempt to make friends, which Dad understood and
respected. He attempted many times to subtly encourage me into talking to people at
school or at the park. I never really madde it work. However, I did make friends at
home. I made friends with insects and small furry animals. Dad had access to chemical
substances at work, though I have no idea what he works as. I began to ask him to bring
the bottles of liquids more and more every week. I collect jars from our neighbour’s
recycling bin as a part of my project. I trap those creatures and put them into chemical-
filled jars to preserve theri carcasses. My fascination towards seeing my collection of
dead animals grew, to the point that I hid the jars in the bottom drawer of my closet.
Dad had always thought I used the chemical for ‘science projects’ at school. “You guys
use a surprisingly huge amount of chemicals at a young age,” he’d say. “Well, we’re
focusing on biology now,” I confidently replied.
I graduated high school, shockingly, and still, I have no human buddies. My lies about
‘going out with friends’ had probably worn off on my dad after all these years, but he
shrugged it off. “What do you thinks about college, sweety,” asked my dad during
dinner last week. “Gap year. I’m thinking about taking a gap year,” was my response.
Those were the most words I have spoken for a while now. I feel sorry for dad, but I
smile for him as tokens of appreciation. He had alwasy accepted them. He never
stopped trying for me. I am somewhat still a human to him. Throughout my gap year, I
shifted my interest towards this one lady who jogged down my street every day at 8.15
a.m.. She looked as if she was in her mid-30s. I wait for her every day by my bedroom
window while scribbling out plans. New plans. Dissecting animals have gotten boring for
me. Though my blood still thrills for it.

One blue morning, I asked Dad for his car keys to goes out for a bit. “Be safe, darling”
he reminded. It was Saturday, as a person with no human connection, it is bizarre that I
even left the house.

However, as I walked out, I headed towards the bushes on the pathway and took the
baseball bat that I had hidden last night. I held it close to my back as I checked my
watch. 8.13 flashed in orange light. I paced back and forth in the driveway with the bat
gripped tight behind me. The sound of a jogger’s steps hit my eardrums. The pace was
consistent but it grew louder as I neared it slowly. “Now or never. One second late and
it’s over,” shoutted the voice in my head. I swung the bat head-level and banged it into
the lady’s forehead just in time. It wasn’t as strong as I intended it to be but it was
enough. She’s knocked out.

I rolled her body into the backseat of the car hastily. “Stupid, stupid. What now?”
repeated my mind. As I headed towards the driver’s seat, Dad was looking from the
front door. “Hey, what’ve you beeen doing? It’s been 20 minutes.” His eyebrows raised.
“I was cleaning out the junk in the backseat. I’ll go now,” I replied while getting in the
driver’s seat. Beads of sweat trickled down my temple as I waved him bye and drove off.
I headed towards a hidden lake a few miles away from our cabin. Once I got there, I
carried the body bag and placed it right by the sides of the lake. I let the only opening of
the bag tied up tight while waiting for the lady to wake up. While I was setting up my
workspace, the body bag rustled. Slowly muffled screams were heard and the rustles
grew into strong kicking and pushing. Good thing I double-bagged her. I watched as her
energy dwindled. I continued setting up my things and ripped the bag open. I checked
the pulse and it was gone. Oh, the surge of excitement coursed through me like
electricity. In minutes, her body was dismembered into smaller parts. Well, to make it
easier for me to stuff them in jars. Only this time, they weren’t fruit jam jars. They were
large canisters. I repeated the same procedure with the body parts as I did with my
animal friends. However, this time, I felt like taking a nibble. The fresh smell of blood
enraptured me. I took a part of the dismemmbered legs. The toes seemed pretty with
tangerine-coloured polish neatly coating them. I licked a small part and salvaged the
sour tinge of it. I grazed my teeth over the smallest toe and cracked it off. It was true,
just like munching on carrots. I cracked a few more toes off and finished preserving the
rest. I dug up the ground and hid my jars of cocktails. I cleaned up the scene and drove
home, the long way round.

With the windows rolled down, I smiled the widest I have ever smiled. With ‘Tiptoe
Through The Tulips’ playing on the raaddio, I hummed gleefully. I have never been
more ecstatic.

“Oh, hey you’re home! It’s dark already, I was worried for a second,” exclaimed Dad as I
entered the cabin. “Don’t worry about it, Dad,” I replied giddily. “Wow, someone’s
happy,” said Dad. “Never been happier,” I said looking at Dad with wide eyes, like a kid
who just came back from a funfair. As I walked towards my room as he smiled. His
eyebroows scrunched as he pondered, “Did I smell blood?”.

Revising

06. Revising

Argumentative Essay

Groupmate's Opinions

06. Revising

Descriptive Essay

Groupmate's Opinions

06. Revising

Expository Essay

Groupmate's Opinions

06. Revising

Narrative Essay

Groupmate's Opinions

Editing

07. Editing

Argumentative Essay

Second Draft

When talking about curfews, the words that come to some people’s minds sometimes are
being locked up. However, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that the topic under discussion
is keeping teens out of trouble. When parents imposed family curfews, a "first defense"
limit is created in the minds of teenagers. They are obliged to evaluate why they are
subjected to a curfew where most of the danger occurs at night. The dangers of remaining
out past curfews are therefore imprinted on their minds, if they go out, something awful
will happen to them or as a result of their actions. They are already psychologically ahead
of their curfew-free classmates since they have had to analyze the contrasts in their
environment at night and during the day. If we look up the news in the newspapers, social
media, and television, most of the bad things that happen to children because they are too
free or their parents are too busy working eventually end with regrets. Thus, that’s why
curfew is very important especially for teenagers. They might do not get the point of
curfews now, but they will thank their parents for setting up curfews when they grow up
later. So, what are the pros of curfew?

First and foremost, curfews prevent teens from being too open in socializing. Being too
free in socializing can be defined as social interactions and behaviors deemed ‘outside of
the norms of society or ‘free of rules’. Being free is not wrong, but being too free, not
knowing limitations is indeed wrong especially in a girl-boy relationship. Since teenagers
are in the phase of trying new things, they might be easily influenced by smoking, loitering,
racing, and even worse to the extent of teen pregnancy and was affected by HIV.. In the age
of teens, teenagers mostly tend not to think about the consequences of their wrongdoings.
They tend to try new things they haven’t tried before, thinking that those things are great
and cool. The thought of not wasting their youth keeps them doing everything whether it is
good or bad for them. To illustrate evidence suggests that approximately 14 in every 1,000
underage Malaysian girls, or 18,000 overall, become pregnant each year. The Malaysia
Welfare Department reported that approximately 111 unmarried young girls were pregnant
and that the recorded rate was 6 births per 1000 women aged 15-19 years. Hence, that’s
why parents should set a curfew for their children so that they will know their boundaries.
Parents should also explain curfews are set for their good, not wanting them to be involved
in any problems that they will regret later. As the saying goes, do not cry over spilled milk
which means there’s no use doing that, time can’t be turned back.

Other than that, curfews also prevent teens from any health issues. The reason why it
can prevent teenagers from health issues is that when there are curfews, children will
go to bed early which means they got enough sleep. Research suggests that a teenager
needs between eight and 10 hours of sleep every night. This is more than the amount a
child or an adult needs yet most adolescents only get about 6.5 – 7.5 hours of sleep per
night. If they get enough sleep, it will give a lot of rewarding benefits to them such as
they will be able to give 100% focus and concentration during their studies. As an
outcome, excellent results are guaranteed as well as and a bright future ahead. So, if
teenagers did not get an average amount of sleep, what would happen to them? There
are many disadvantages if teenagers do not get enough sleep. For instance, teens who
are sleep deprived are more likely to have a variety of negative repercussions, such as
an inability to concentrate, low grades, drowsy-driving incidents, anxiety, despair,
suicidal thoughts, and even suicide attempts. Moreover, studies show that adolescent
mood and exhaustion levels improve when parents choose bedtime especially when it is
reasonable for the child's needs. According to a 2010 study published in the journal
Sleep, children who have a bedtime of midnight or later are more prone to be
depressed and contemplate suicide. The teens' happier, better-rested state "may be a
symptom of a structured family life, not only an issue of bedtime" in households where
parents determine the time for sleep. Carskadon said, "on the other hand, a developing
youngster or adolescent still needs someone to assist them to create a structure for
their lives. Teens are not good at making decisions.

Furthermore, a curfew is indeed crucial because it guarantees teenagers’ safety.
Nowadays, it has become a common case that was shown in newspapers, social media,
and television about crimes that happened especially during midnight. To make it
worse, it mostly happened to teenagers. In most cases, crimes are robbery, rape, and
even murder. According to Police Incident Reports in Major Cities, violent crimes are
most common at night. According to FBI data, there were 1,247,321 violent crimes
reported nationally in 2017, a 0.2 percent decline from the 2016 estimate. This issue
shouldn’t be underestimated by parents as time can’t be turned back, their children are
fully under their care. If these cases happened to their own children, who are at fault?
That’s why early prevention is needed, which is the best way by setting up a curfew.
Moreover, instead of becoming victims, teenagers nowadays can also be perpetrators.
Can parents imagine if their children were the ones who harmed others just because
they were being too free? It not only ruins their own lives, but they also can ruin their
parents’ lives and reputations. This is because if the crimes were too serious, all of the
family members may be set aside by society to the point they need to move out due to
guilt. In conclusion, curfews not only keep teenagers safe, but they also can help
teenagers’ self-development in becoming useful people in the future, not involving in
any crimes that can eventually ruin many lives.