Pathfinder More Whispering Homunculus

100 Dragonfire: The green flames linger; affected creatures all gain the on fire condition and continue to burn each round. Glitterbomb: The explosion covers everyone affected by it with shining gold and silver glitter. Lizardball: The explosion’s flames take the form of thousands of interlocking salamanders or fire lizards. These seem to crawl under the armor and clothes of those affected. Needleball: Thousands of tiny needles explode in all directions. On a saving throw of 1, a target suffers a needle in the eye and blindness. Purple Flames: The explosion generates a magical chord that suppresses all buffs for a single round of combat. Rain of Fish: The explosion chills and freezes rather than burning with fire, and it leaves a faint odor of fish. Damage is cold rather than fire, but otherwise identical. Reeking Flames: Creatures affected by the explosion smell incredibly foul for 1d6 days and are automatically tracked by any creature with a good sense of smell. Sick Burn: The explosion leaves all affected creatures vomiting, dizzy, and stunned for 1 round; damage is reduced to half or quarter. Silent Doom: The explosion is completely noiseless, and it silences all creatures affected by it for 1 round. Thunderboom: The explosion deafens all those affected for 1 round, and it can be heard for 1,000 feet in all directions. The echoes make it difficult to hear friends or companions. The laboratory is a fine and private place, full of lurking potential for greatness, madness, and excess. Make the most of it, dearest imps and wanderers—make it shine, make it glow, and make it crack the walls and rattle the chamberpots! 3 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 4 The Joy of Explosions

101 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Haunted Manor of Curiosities “The lights in that place are odd. Perhaps I should send you over to look, sluglet.” “Oh, but Master, what of your feet?” “What of my feet?” “Was I not to deal with them before all else, at risk of things most foul?” “Ah, yes. The lights can wait. And you yet risk things most foul, worm.” “As ever, Master.” hether a large house within a busy city or an expansive manor at the edge of the village, tales have grown around this structure—stories of unexplained deaths, vengeful spirits, odd items, and missing treasure-seekers. Of course, adventurers live to explore the truth of such tales and hopefully gain a substantial reward from investigating them. Whether these rewards involve money, knowledge, or continued survival is up to both them and you. What follows here are several tables that can allow you to build a haunted manor quickly. You can either use this as a fast whole-cloth adventure generator or bring elements into your game over time, teasing the adventurers (and their players) with the most recent gossip about that strange house that’s a street away, over the hill, or on a former graveyard. By Miranda Horner W

102 12 Dreadful Sites and Those Who Haunt Them The Former Graveyard: We all know of this particular cursed site. Perhaps those in the graveyard got moved, and perhaps they didn’t. What makes this particular site special is that as terrible as the thought of having your home on top of what was once a place of rest for the dead might be, necromancers in the area have tapped into that energy in some bizarre way and have animated the very structure. To what purpose? Why, to trap living folk inside and add to their growing undead forces. The Site of Sacrifice: Long ago, a young man bled out all over the terrain in this location—and he did so for love. His former betrothed, though, had discovered infidelity and, embracing the pain and anger she felt, made of this young fool a sacrifice to her new beloved, a demon lord. The resonance of that act has set many dreadful things into motion in today’s world. The Dreadful Orphanage: A lonely man, hoping to enjoy the company of orphaned children before eating them, led many of them into the grounds of his orphanage not too many years before a new structure was built upon his land. Adventurers, hearing of this, found this orphanage leader and dealt with him summarily. Unfortunately, they did not know of the troubled spirits that remained behind—and who feel as if their voices need to be heard. The Dragonkeepers: A misguided cult, known as the Dragonkeepers, was once duped by a lich-maker who sought precious dragon eggs as part of her experimental rites. Many young dragons died, but not before members of the cult suffered terribly at the hands of this lich-maker. Now, spirits of cultists and young wyrms wreak havoc in the area. The Wisp Killers: After the locals lost yet another person to the wisps that led so many travelers and family members astray, they felt as if they had to take action. What they did not know, when they put a bounty on all the wisps in the area, was that these creatures were actually fey who sought to cull the people of various unsavory traits. When these fey died at the hands of the locals, not only did some of them remain behind in a new form, but also their former victims became restless. The very traits these fey sought to cull brought them back into the land of the living in a horrific manner. The Sorrowful Grandfather: A young man came back to the world after being stolen away by a presence he knew only as the Delightful One. He’d left behind a new wife, so when he arrived at their house, he discovered that he had been away from home much longer than he thought: He had seven grandchildren living there, along with his widowed son, and his wife was long dead. Though he tried to fit back into the world, the daily effort to be a part of the mundane existence he’d left behind, after 1 2 3 4 5 6 Haunted Manor of Curiosities

103 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Haunted Manor of Curiosities having enjoyed the attention of the Delightful One, twisted his mind. On a gentle summer day, he destroyed his entire family, hoping to gain the attention of his past paramour. Now their spirits haunt the area, and he has faded into a half-existence of sorts, cursed by the Delightful One who found his methods of snagging her attention to be abhorrent. The Dirgesinger: Music stirs the soul, and one bard had the gift of using it to twist the minds and hearts of others for her own ends. Some said she could even wake the dead and make them dance with her tunes. One of her targets for fleecing, however, was more mindful of her ways than others and set an arcane trap. Now the Dirgebringer lives in her own music, which occasionally drifts through the site of her last performance and stirs remnants of past lives, including darker personalities, into reality. Their momentary existence overlaps that of daily life in a way that sometimes creates terrifying situations for those among the living. The Raging Druid: A loner of a man settled into the area, tending to its animal and plants with great care and augmenting his skills with his druidic lore. His temper against those who trespassed against him grew into legend, though, when he started turning those who angered him into animals for a time. When one local ate his own son—who had been turned into a deer, then hunted down as part of his father’s hunting party—for dinner, though, they gathered to kill him. Upon his death, the druid vowed to twist their environment into nightmares beyond their capacity for sanity. So far, he has succeeded. Elemental Imaginings: A young girl dreamed of having best friends. Spurned and shunned by the other children in the area, she started pretending that she had such friends. Her parents, troubled by the stories the young girl told about the pain-bringing antics of her new friends, called in a distant relative: a priest. When he discovered that the girl had been summoning elementals to be her friends, and that the stories she told had happened and brought harm to the other children in the area, he sought to help her. The girl, fearing that she would once again be shunned by those she sought friendship with, killed the priest and her family, then herself, hoping to never again be separated from her friends, the elementals. Now she and her elemental friends roam the area of what was once her family’s house. The Perfect Day: Many years ago, a young man experienced the perfect day. Everything that he wanted happened on that day. He married the love of his life. He became a master of his craft. He discovered that his most priceless piece of work had gained the eye of a nation’s leader. At the stroke of midnight, however, he gained the curse—simply because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. After that, he kept trying to relive the feelings of that day while slogging through the morass of vileness that his new life had become. His wife did not love him, he discovered. His work suffered and was barely passable. His priceless piece of work was 7 8 9 10

104 claimed as being crafted by another master artisan, and all believed this individual. In a fit of despair, he killed himself. Now he haunts the area, sapping the joy out of every being around him simply because he hopes to use that energy to recreate the feelings he had on that perfect day. The Timekeeper: An elderly and cheerful woman created and fixed clocks. Each clock was a gift, she claimed, reminding you of every passing moment so that you would find the positive in it and experience the negative in it, then let it go in favor of the next moment. One day, though, all of her clocks stopped. With increasing anxiety, she sought ways to make them start up again, but to no avail. All time, for her, had stopped. Stuck in that moment, with fear overwhelming her, the very last thing keeping time for her stopped: her heart. Now she haunts the former location of her clock shop, seeking to pass into the next moment. Those who see her lose track of time and feel the same anxiety and fear she did. The Warren Collapse: Underneath the ground, young kobolds explored and set out to add to their warren. These particular kobolds found a hidden temple deep within the earth. Thinking to claim it as part of the warrent, they slept there. Each of them, in turn, was possessed by an ancient being who claimed vengeance upon those who sought to defile the temple with their presence. Like a disease, this former deity moved from one kobold to the next, killing each host as it moved, until it met a party of adventurers. After setting up the collapse of the warren, this group entered the sunlight and dispersed due to magical elements beyond their control. Now this vengeful spirit seeks to eliminate all who were part of this group and all who have had contact with any member of it. One such member now resides in a newly acquired house. 12 Areas of Spiritual Activity The Kitchen: A pot of stew boils with no flame present. A warm pie rests on the sideboard. Utensils, pots, and pans move merrily about the room, along with staple kitchen ingredients. Dare you eat any of the food prepared here? Are those maggots in the pie? The Wine Cellar: The bottles here are covered with dust—except for one. Why is this? And what does that bottle contain? Did eyes blink within the bottle? The Curio Cabinet: A wide range of porcelain bells, salt and pepper shakers shaped like gnomes and other creatures, and generally weird things fills this cabinet. Each time you blink, though, you see new things in the cabinet. The Spider Farm: This corner of the basement seems to have curated spider sections. Some spiders here are happily spinning webs. Others have burrowed into the ground and peer at you from just inside their hideout. You see the form of a lithe woman now and again as she presses against the webs. Was that a ghost? 11 12 1 2 3 4 Haunted Manor of Curiosities

105 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Haunted Manor of Curiosities The Room of Soldiers: Rows and rows of tin humanoid soldiers line up on the floors of this room. Formations are exact. Touching one of them, however, sends a wave of projectiles and magical effects at you from each of these soldiers. The Room of Loathing: This white-walled room has pristine white-painted furniture arranged within it. Light from outside shines in the room, regardless of time of day, lending the room a brilliance that hurts the eyes. Blinking, you momentarily see crimson words of hate and fear and self-loathing scrawled in a panicky and jagged hand on every surface. But, then the room looks as it did when you first glanced at it. The Wardrobe of Bloodletting and Roses: A different fancy outfit hangs on the doors of this dark and massive wardrobe, accompanied by the scent of roses. Moments later, this outfit has been shredded and torn. Fresh blood crusts it, lending the air a coppery tang. Then it vanishes to be replaced by a different beautiful outfit and the scent of roses. You are not sure where these clothes are coming from or how they’re being destroyed. The Barn of Bones: At first glance, this barn looks well-maintained and empty. The next, however, bleached and splintered bones fill it. They start forming up and taking on the shapes of former humanoids. Some hold rakes. The smell of horse manure drifts over to you. The Aviary of Anguish: The plants in this aviary are long dead, leaving behind dried husks. Amid them, you hear rustling of birds, but you see none. Birdsong indicates the presence of birds, too, but none appear to you. The song starts to take on an angry, screeching quality, setting teeth on edge. With a crescendo, it washes over you, making you reel as if a mass of birds had just rushed you. Pain from unseen beaks and claws erupts all over you. The Growling Undercellar: No matter what you do, you cannot figure out the source of the growling that emanates from the undercellar. The air within feels heavy, and your skin occasionally feels the brush of fur. Living Wood: The dark panels throughout this house occasionally form silhouettes of screaming people. They look as if they wish to get out of the wood, which has entrapped them within its grain. The Music Room: A breeze in this room chills the area. Strains of delicate music float now and again from the room, haunting you with half-forgotten words from songs you think you once knew. The teasing of the music grows with each moment you spend in this structure, sending your thoughts scattering. 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

106 12 Possessed Items The Dollhouse: This dollhouse looks like the building in which you stand! You see that each of the dolls resembles one of your party, and they’re all looking down at what seems to be a very small dollhouse. Just outside the room you are standing within, you see another doll standing and looking up at you, then back at the dollhouse door leading to the room of your doll counterparts. It has an evil grin on its face and a bloody dagger in its hand. The Endless Army of Soldiers: Moving toward you is an army of tin soldiers. The cavalry charges, and their archers take aim and fire at you. These forces seem endless—each new room has its own defending forces. Where is its commander? The Everticking Clock: This grandfather clock, which looks majestic in its stature and form, does not seem to have a means to wind it up. Yet it keeps ticking. Each time you look at it, it shows a much different time than it should. And it chimes every few minutes—which causes a young woman to appear for a moment. While she is visible, she pleads with you, then points to the face of the clock. When the chime ends, she disappears. Closer inspection reveals the forms of trees and dryads illustrated on the clock’s face, plus carved into the sides and front of the clock. The Jewelry Box: This ornately carved oak box has a porcelain panel on its lid that depicts dancers spinning in a whirl—except that they are moving. Their constant motion makes you feel a bit dizzy if you watch too long. In fact, you feel a bit as if you could fall into the party and join them. . . . The Unfortunate Ice Swan: This poor ice sculpture has already started melting, yet some entity feels a need to possess it and send it flying about the room with its unwieldy wings. Each drop of water freezes the surface upon which it lands, whether it be the skin of a living being or an inanimate object. The Dancing Candles of Sparking Doom: Every candle in the place seems to have a life of its own. Sparking different colors, they form up and chase down chosen prey or spin wildly around several people. The sparks are so bright that they leave behind afterimages, eventually causing temporary blindness if viewers are not careful. The Vicious Stuffed Badger: Amid the many animals that have been preserved for use in decoration is a dead badger. For reasons known only to it, a ghost has decided to possess this badger and now it is terrorizing anyone it finds. Haunted Manor of Curiosities 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

107 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Haunted Manor of Curiosities The Deck of Fortune Cards: No matter which room you visit in an area, this deck of cards is prominently placed within it. The top card is always turned upward, and the face of Death leers at you. If anyone attempts to harm the deck, it defends itself in a flurry of cards, cutting any foes with sharper-than-expected edges. The Coin Collection: One might not think that a coin collection would be a thing a ghost would want to possess, but there is no accounting for taste. What this ghost does as part of this possession is intriguing. Even taking just one coin from this collection causes the entirety of it to show up in your belongings. From there, it follows you everywhere—no matter what you do to avoid it. If you attempt to use the coins to buy things, these coins will always show back up among your things. Unfortunately for you, merchants will also know who gave them any vanishing coins and seek redress. Additionally, any coin that is kept with these coins adds to the coin collection. Best to keep them separate from useful coinage. (Particularly mean gamemasters might have coins separated from the character show up amid that character’s useful coins. This practice is not recommended, though.) The Funerary Urn of the Unicorn Lady: Sometimes a ghost feels lost without its former body. In the case of those whose bodies are cremated, that leaves the resulting urn filled with ashes. This urn is covered with roses and greenery, and a unicorn peeks out from behind some floral shrubs. The ghost that possesses this urn is that of a former unicorn rider who seeks to see more of the world, so the ghost chooses someone who is a great traveler and stays with that person—regardless of that person’s wishes—until she finds a person going to some location she hasn’t yet visited. When the chosen being sleeps at night, the ghost takes shape and wanders the area, poking her nose into nooks and crannies and occasionally creating problems for the one with whom she currently travels. The Wig of Regrettable Taste: The mercenary who wore this red-hued wig loved long tresses and gaudy blue and green ribbons. Now possessed by its former owner, the wig shows up in moments of violence, traveling from one warrior to the next. When armed conflict erupts, the ghost forms up under the wig and joins in on the fun, stating that it will help the first person who promises to wear it after combat is over. The warrior who swears to wear the wig will receive aid until the end of that battle. Otherwise, the ghost warrior attacks all combatants without care. If ever a warrior chooses to part ways with the wig, the ghost simply waits until combat breaks out near it and seeks to find a new warrior companion. The Miniature Fountain of Endlessly Chattering Water: Decades ago, an unnamed genius created a handheld fountain with constantly flowing water. An unfortunate incident parted this genius from her life, and since that time she has chosen to haunt her last and best creation. 8 9 10 11 12

108 Any who carry the fountain will always have access to clean water, but the price is to listen to its ghostly creator’s endless chatter about all the inventions she created in her life, plus all the ones she hopes to create should she ever regain her physical form—and life. (Note that she has not yet figured out how to possess a creature. Her tie to her fountain is too strong.)

109 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS A Salt and Seasoning of d12 Charts “Here you are, Master, the thirteen buns you ordered.” “Let me see now. Excellent. NO! NO MARZIPAN! How many more times do I have to tell you? Once again, sluglet, you show contempt for my feelings and will be punished.” “But, Master—” “Enough of your feeble excuses, implet, you know very well that my dear friend Arlis the Cadmium Orange Illusionist was crushed to death by a falling block of marzipan. Unlikely it may have been but I have yet to get over it. Now get out of my sight. I have urgent work to do.” s you know, we love the d12, and we use any pathetic excuse we can to give them more use from your dice bag. Poor relation they may be, but your pristine—rarely used—d12 deserves better. So here, for want of another feeble reason, are some more d12 tables for your gaming table, to provide an obscure spark or unlikely direction for your adventures. A Dozen Heroes Called Thedge Argumentative Thedge, the shortest temper in Thistlewick Duncan Thedge, Slayer of Owen Carter Jacob Thedge, Confuser of Giants Lacia Thedge, the Dancing Duelist Mistress Octavia Thedge, the Song of Ginwives Rachel Thedge, Mite Bane A 1 2 3 4 5 6

110 Thamrin Thedge, the Peril of Lampreys Thedge Capplewick, the Iron Wig of Hokk Thedge the Magnificent, Vanquisher of the Pale Topiary Horror of Uffcomb Torrence Thedge, the Pigswill Storm of Kettle Hill Uriah Thedge, Savior of Noxley Zobko Thedge the Awful, the Ochre Anvil of the Southwest. A Dozen Improbable NPC Deaths Carried away by golden eagles Crushed by a huge block of marzipan falling from a great height Crushed by a plummeting harpy Crushed by falling bedstead Died in a bizarre milking accident Drowned in molasses Eaten by an escaped pack of performing shocker lizards A deep rumbling sound was heard from within him, then he suddenly died Fell over a puppy at the top of some stairs Savaged by lampreys Slain by a runaway camel Struck by lightning, lived, but fell down a well on the way home and died A Dozen NPC Moments A line of spittle waves from his lower lip as he talks A magpie suddenly plummets from the sky and lands dead between her and the PCs A passer-by falsely accuses him of cannibalism 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 A Salt and Seasoning of d12 Charts

111 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS 4 A Salt and Seasoning of d12 Charts An escaped sheep knocks him flying in front of the PCs when they first meet He claims to be expecting the PCs, but can’t remember why He slips in a cowpat as he walks toward the PCs Her child rides past on the back of an errant local pig called Curly-tail Grumbly His wife has just given birth to a ferret, it seems His wife has today run off with the local rector, leaving his house empty save for a single black egg His wig is suddenly blown off just as the PCs talk to him She claims to have just seen her pet stoat leap into a PC’s pocket The NPC clutches his chest and collapses before the PCs. A Dozen Obscure Pantomime Costumes A dozen felt dire rat puppets A false basilrond costume, incorporating a pig-bladder gas squirter A pantomime cloaker, complete with moveable wings All seven human costume parts of a pantomime crag linnorm costume Ankheg wizard costume complete with glove-puppet stirge Badly made straw cyclops costume Leather, scrimshaw, and wicker giant slug costume Pantomime warg costume for a dog, complete with glowing lantern eyes Pretend leather aboleth The front end of a pantomime kraken costume complete with waving tentacles and prompt written within stating “shout ‘Mnar’ loudly” The top end of a pantomime girallon costume, complete with internal megaphone Wool earth elemental costume 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

112 A Dozen One-Eyed Gamekeepers Cyclops Codder; old “give me an excuse to bow to you” Codder Eyepatch Loo and her infamous lurchers Monoculus Murge, Watcher of Bogly Moor One-Eyed Kabb, the Bastard of Mopply Fell One-Eyed Lisa, the Poacher’s Bane One-Eyed Master Muggle, old “bear-trap ’em” Muggle One-Wink Sodd Patch Mumgrew of Bleakmoor Hall Pirate Badge, the Stain of Noxley Wood Purblind Bodd and his fearful dire terrier Midge Single-Blink Bogg and his pet ferret Lamprey Young Master Halfview A Dozen Quirky Tavern Names Four Salmon and a Lamprey The Awakened Stoat Inn The Enraged Octopus The King’s Itch The Magenta Ettin The Olde Mumblemumpry Arms The Poorly Owlbear The Princesses’ Hat-Stand The Queen’s Boils The Seven-Headed Turbot The Squid and Hedgehog The Troll and Harpsicord 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 A Salt and Seasoning of d12 Charts

113 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS A Salt and Seasoning of d12 Charts A Dozen Thankfully Rare and Obscure Owlbears Arlington’s Exceedingly Vicious Owlbear Arlington’s1 Lesser-Seen Corpulently Rutting Owlbear Gadd’s Goring Dire Owlbear Gadd’s Cantankerous Owlbear Gadd’s Cannibal Sprinting Owlbear Gadd’s2 Disappointing Owlbear Juddley’s Poisonous Owlbear Juddley’s3 Rampant Owlbear Pine Forest Swarming Owlbears4 Snodder’s5 Invisible Angry Owlbear Todrington’s Cunning Owlbear Todrington’s6 Double-Headed Copiously Growling Owlbear. The Opening Line of a Dozen Dubious Dark Tales “A long time ago, not very far from here, lived a magic sheep called Raisinslender.” “A merchant lived here long, long ago; but she was no ordinary merchant—she sold bard’s fingers and whistles.” “At first, Jabe thought it was just ordinary frogspawn, but as the summer moved on, he began to realize that it was awakened frogspawn he had in his magic pond, and that they were planning to get up to no good in his topiary garden…” “Let me tell you the tale of the thrice-wombed Kettle Krumbly and her eleven gigantic carp-children…” 1 Deceased. Eaten, ironically, by a Snodder’s Invisible Angry Owlbear. 2 Gadd, it should be recalled, disappeared during research. 3 Vanished whilst exploring the Upper Dullg Valley Owlbear Hunting Grounds. 4 Existence unconfirmed by experts. 5 Eaten, even more ironically, by an Arlington’s Exceedingly Vicious Owlbear. 6 Whereabouts presently unknown. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4

114 “Logg Grundly had a magic beard…” “Once upon a time there was a flumph princess called Gossamer, who had two wicked stepsister flumphs called Mistress Float and Lady Dangle…” “Once upon a time there was old cormorant called Sheckly Febb. He used to carry a talking cutthroat razor called Shebob…” “Once upon a time, there was an old sea hag who lived in an ettin’s double deerstalker…” “Once, there was a giant hedgehog necromancer called Deadly Dan Dinsdale…” “Well, if there’s one thing my old gran used to say that was true it was ‘Never trust a goblin bearing a harpsicord…’” “Who would have thought, long ago, that a slug prince lived in this very garden?” “Let me tell you the tale of Wicked Gratt the Giant Mantis bard…” A Dozen Bawdy Local Songs “Daisy and Her Smashing Pear” “Grand Captain Ahad, he had an enormous hold” “Grazzelda’s Grunties” “Knobby’s Hall” “Mally’s Mifflepiece” “Mistress Kissme” “Mistress Mimmer’s Majestic Mermaid” “Mumtie’s Murkin” “Roger the Lodger” “Todger’s Artichokes” “Young Crumpet Millady, She Had a Great Ram” “Young Tom Tupp Had a Very Pretty Ewe” 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 A Salt and Seasoning of d12 Charts

115 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS A Salt and Seasoning of d12 Charts A Dozen Failing Cobbler’s Establishments A single pair of halfling child’s booties rests in a wide window bearing the sign “Hodd Cobbler, Greatest halfling child shoe maker in the world” Although it says cobblers outside and is clearly open, when you get inside, the entire shop is empty save for a myopic old gnome in one corner eating a pie Cob and Celian Cobbler’s Shop is open, but within a husband and wife bicker and argue constantly about who is the best at dealing with customers J. Collis Brown’s Cobblers and Jelly Mold Makers Lorrun Cobblers, hours of opening 2—every third day after prayerday N. Runtwill’s Cobblers—no refunds, ever N. Wickran Cobblers and Spider Dealer Extraordinaire The burnt-out shell has a sign above the door saying Jackrun’s Cobblers, shoemakers to the wizard aristocracy The sign above the door says Quentin Cobblers, but a hasty one painted below says “Cobbling for a living is rubbish, gone to join the army.” The sign on the closed shop says simply “Cobblers” The sign on the cobblers says back in ten minutes, but it’s faded by the sun The sign outside says Bob Cob the Happy Cobbler, but from inside the shop comes the sound of someone sobbing uncontrollably A Dozen Obscure Gold Coins A coin depicting a pig’s head—none other in fact than Glorious Sam the Legend Bacon Her Majestic Lady Duchess Squint is depicted on this rare coin engaging in her favorite hobby of cockatrice fighting His Grace the Regal Banker is depicted in the reverse of this coin, sitting upon a mound of commoners and eating cake Princess Pale is depicted on this gold coin beating a peasant to death with her riding sap 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4

116 Princess Pren is depicted wearing a dead swan on her head on this coin Someone has vandalised this coin to show old King Greffy engaged in a lewd act with a stick man There are rude kobold words scratched into this coin on both sides This coin commemorates General Traid beating the last of his foes at the Battle of Dread Valley to death with his own severed leg This coin depicts Good King Cobb surrounded by his favorite hunting pigs This coin depicts mad Queen Frigil eating a live chicken This coin depicts the Stirge God Rakkwell calling up the Stirge Storm at the Gates of Time This triangular gold coin depicts a turbot on one face and a stickleback on the other A Dozen Unlikely Sideshow and Street Acts Alice Sedge’s Amusing Plummeting Mummies J. L. Quiggley’s Unique Stirge Circus Karter’s Clowning Chokers Koptor McCormic’s Remarkable Tumbling Giant Centipedes Madam Miffrey’s Harmonious Dire-Ostrich Choir Selinia’s Juggling Otyughs The Dancing Goblin Dogs The Marvelous Mite Madrigal The Remarkable Batrid’s Pirouetting Jellies Titor’s Tomfooling Mimic Zebbedia Habb’s Remarkable Performing Executioner’s Hoods Zoddor’s Singing Owlbear 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 A Salt and Seasoning of d12 Charts

117 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS A Salt and Seasoning of d12 Charts A Dozen Disappointing Bits of Treasure Cheesegrater of immense grating it might say it is, but to you it still just works and looks like a mundane cheesegrater Come to think of it, none of you have ever heard of a mangle of disintegration anyway… Despite the label claiming it is a harpsichord of crocodile summoning and dire corby annihilation, there doesn’t seem to be any foundation to its boast It transpires that the treasure chest is actually totally solid wood It’s a stuffed sheep alright, but whether it is indeed, as the label says, the worldly aspect of K’zarr, the Arch-Devil of Naughty and Bad Sheep is another matter The glove puppet crocodile proclaims itself to be none other than the legendary glove puppet artefact Zerxes—Bane Lord of Glove Puppetry— but later research reveals it is in fact just a glove puppet The runic wording around the rim says three monocles for the elder kings under the sun What you took for a sphere of annihilation is actually just an inflated pig’s bladder painted black The wording on top of the stand proclaims that this is a wig-stand of lordly hirsute might There appears to be just the one sandal of mighty space travel Yes, the label on the back definitely says Moustache of Oblivion You’d never heard of a figurine of wondrous power—vicious tapeworm anyway… 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

118 The Undiscovered Bestiary: Ochre Jelly “Pudding, Master?” “Wormslug?” “Do you require pudding? After having had an enormous sprout soufflé, perhaps his magnificence requires something sweet?” “Perhaps, grotlet. What sorts do we have?” “Black, white, or dun, your eminence.” “Hmm, the agony of choice…” hat is it about molds, puddings, slimes, and oozes that puts them firmly at the heart of fantasy roleplaying games? Perhaps the fact that nowhere else could you encounter such creatures as foes, perhaps because they are unique to such games, or maybe because their appearance is associated with a fondness for our original ventures into dungeons. This edition of the Undiscovered Bestiary focuses upon one such creature: the ochre jelly, which is a truly dependable warhorse to use in dungeon after dungeon. Although many of these variants are simply accounted for by terrain, habitat, and the amount of available prey, there are other, seldom seem, variations that may be encountered from time to time. The Undiscovered Bestiary brings such creatures out of the shadows and enables you, as GM, to add the odd unexpected twist to a more standard encounter. In each case, the majority of the creature’s statistics echo those from the Pathfinder Bestiary, with the required modifications to standard stat blocks included for ease of use. W

119 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Horbb’s Strangling Ochre Jelly (CR 5) This jelly is made up of a quivering mass of wan sickly tentacles that can exude a strong grip. This version of the ochre jelly has a stronger grasp than the more commonly encountered creature; its CMB is +11 (+15 grapple), and its constrict attack delivers 2d4+7 plus 1d4 acid damage. Its slam attack is unaffected by this increased grip. Torturer’s Ochre Jelly (CR 6) More feared for what it can be used for than having any chance encounters with it, this jelly is harvested by sadistic jailors, executioners, and insane people to punish those who have carried out special crimes. The torturer’s ochre jelly is covered in clumps of cankerous infestations similar in appearance to sickly ochre polypores. Those who know what they are doing are aware that not only does this growth strip flesh, but it does so excruciatingly slowly. An ochre jelly of this variant produces 1d2 of these polypores per calendar month; these growths remain on the creature’s body for 1d3 months before falling off. A torturer’s ochre jelly is identical to the standard ochre jelly described in the Pathfinder RPG Bestiary except that its attack also delivers 1 Con damage (Fort save [DC 18 negates]). Acid harvested from this jelly (a fist-sized clump) delivers 1d4 acid damage per hour on contact with flesh and 1d2 Con damage (Fort save DC 18 negates). Sadistic individuals and organizations prize it, and it is worth 125 gp per application. Corpse Jelly (CR 6) This creature is often encountered in graveyards, necropolises, or below city streets where corpses are easy to find. It favors the flesh of corpses, and a foul graveyard stench follows the creature. SPECIAL ABILITIES Stench (Ex) This disgusting creature is surrounded by a 20-ft. radius of foul odor; creatures coming within this distance must make a Fortitude save (DC 19) or be sickened for 2d6 rounds. The DC is Constitution-based. Suffocating Ochre Jelly (CR 6) This hefty jelly is a mottled rusty hue and bears the scars of recent encounters and travels along its translucent skin. In addition to its constrict attack, the jelly uses its fluid form to cover the mouth or equivalent of its prey. Characters constricted by this jelly begin to suffocate. Creatures who do not breathe, as well as those who do not breathe through a mouth or similar appendage, are immune to this special attack. The Undiscovered Bestiary: Ochre Jelly

120 Unseen Ochre Jelly (CR 6) Some argue that this might not in fact be a true member of the ochre jelly line since, by its very nature, this jelly does not seem to have a natural hue. An unseen ochre jelly is like a standard ochre jelly, but it has natural invisibility, possibly as a result of experimentation with invisible stalkers. SPECIAL ABILITIES Natural Invisibility (Ex) This ability is constant. An unseen ochre jelly remains invisible at all times, even when attacking. Since this ability is inherent, it is not subject to the invisibility purge spell. Against foes that cannot pinpoint it, an unseen ochre jelly gains a +20 bonus to Stealth checks when moving, and +40 when standing still. Cloying Poison Ochre Jelly (CR 7) This ochre jelly is almost certainly one of many that have been deliberately created by alchemists and poisoners. The cloying poison ochre jelly exudes a contact poison that is difficult to remove. The jelly poison affects not only those slammed by the creature, but also those who touch it. SPECIAL ABILITIES Cloying Poison (Ex) Contact; save Fort DC 16; frequency 1/round until washed off*; effect 1d3 Con; cure 2 saves. *Generally, the cloying poison of the creature must be washed away, usually by a pint of water, but each jelly is different. Various liquids are used against individual jelly cloying poisons, including salt, strong alcohol, and even urine. Rumors abound of a spitting cloying poison ochre jelly allegedly created by a group of cleric assassins called the Foaming Sisterhood. Rotting Forest Ochre Jelly (CR 7) This ochre jelly strain is found in the carpet of dead leaves and rot in forests, almost always around the edges of marshes and damp regions. It has a deep orange hue to its ochre, resembling decaying leaves. In addition to its standard powers, this jelly can animate plants in the vicinity. SPECIAL ABILITIES Entangle (Su) A rotting forest ochre jelly can, as a free action, cause plants within 30 ft. of it to animate and grasp at its foes, holding them for the jelly to devour at leisure. This ability is identical to an entangle spell (CL 6th, DC 13). The save DC is Wisdom-based. The Undiscovered Bestiary: Ochre Jelly

121 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Travis’s Horrid Enveloping Ochre Jelly (CR 8 ) This repulsive mound of fleshy ochre rot is similar to the suffocating ochre jelly but is more elastic and deadly. It has replaced its suffocating attack with a more dangerous engulf ability. SPECIAL ABILITIES Engulf (Ex) If a Travis’s horrid enveloping ochre jelly begins its turn with an opponent of the same size as itself or lower constricted, it can envelop the foe completely by making a new combat maneuver check (as though attempting to pin the foe). If it succeeds, it engulfs the prey, its tendrils and tentacles suffocating its prey as they enter its orifices. The opponent takes 2d4+6 plus 2d4 acid damage as the fluid the jelly is made of enters lungs, throat, and ears. The seal formed is airtight, and the foe risks suffocation from the attack. The opponent can attempt to escape the attack as though escaping a pin, but the victim cannot be targeted by effects that require line of sight. The jelly can continue to attack with its slam but cannot constrict more than one opponent since its interior muscles are absorbed in suffocating its prey. Travis’s horrid enveloping ochre jellies are said to regularly reach Gargantuan size and are used by certain subterranean races (in particular troglodytes) as holy punishments to those who transgress their religious doctrine. Chambers and whole mazes full of such creatures are rumored to exist; the great gnome explorer Travis Shoggwhelpt encountered the first such creature in his legendary Subterranean Quests. Mortician’s Ochre Jelly (CR Variable) In certain cults, the practice of burying a deceased person with an ochre jelly to protect the goods and soul of the fallen is commonplace. More distinguished corpses are often buried with an ochre jelly that is used as a special receptacle for their souls. After a time, the soul is fully absorbed into the ochre jelly and is born as a ghost. The ghost is bound to the ochre jelly body in the same way that a lich is bound to its phylactery; as long as the soul receptacle lives, the ghost cannot be destroyed. Some unfortunate adventurers have encountered these receptacles, thinking they are mere common ochre jellies and dispatched them with relish, only to find the comrades of the fallen looking for them. The Undiscovered Bestiary: Ochre Jelly

122 Situation Vacant: An Adventure “So—how shall I address you four, erm, well—things? “Greetings to all four of you, whatever you might be made up of, and welcome to my laboratory. “As you know, I have a vacancy for a homunculus. The hours are severe, the pay is zero, and you will live in the water tank in the attic, just below the hole in the roof. You will be regularly beaten, subject to constant public ridicule, and sent out on demeaning tasks before the lowest local people—so all in all a highly competitive package for any would-be savant. “I’m glad, actually, that four of you have flapped—or should I say slithered and flapped—up to my laboratory. Ordinarily I would just interview you for the post and see who is most humble and menial, but as good fortune would have it, I have a suitable test to judge your worth as my new underthing. Last night, whilst dozing off in my laboratory, one of my most valuable artifacts, my esoteric monocle, slipped down the plug hole of my underplumbing and disappeared into the pipes. “I’ve had an arcane eye peer down my underplumbing for the esoteric monocle, and it lies deep within the pipes. Now these pipes are far too small for any ordinary creature to descend into. For a tiny construct, though, it’s almost roomy down there—smelly perhaps, but unmistakably spacious. Just watch out for the rats and the sewage elementals. The one who comes back bearing the monocle wins. However, because of the rats and various other offalesque

123 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Welcome to the Interview from Hell . . . “Situation Vacant” is a short, 1st-level one-off adventure where the players take on the role of would-be-homunculi for the Master. The adventure is designed to be none too serious and should be wrapped up in a pleasant evening, unless you embellish the adventure by making all the players dress up as the homunculus they’re playing and prance about for effect. The homunculi have a few subtle and not-so-subtle changes for the adventure— use or shed these as you wish. The first and most fundamental is that not all wouldbe masters know or can be bothered to create their own homunculus, and so a gap in the market has opened that is naturally exploited: Homunculi can be created without masters and are subtly different from their more common kin. Masterless and recently created constructs for the homunculi market can speak; they find the ability distasteful, however, and shed the ability as soon as they have a master. Being able to talk just before the start of service is useful, particularly in the construct market where competition is high and too many telepathic shouts of “Me sir, me!” gets irritating. If there’s one thing that it is dangerous to irritate, it’s a wizard. The four homunculus each have a unique—shall we say—talent to aid their quest, which is to return the esoteric monocle to the Master and thereby secure the job vacancy. Be sure to familiarize yourself with the adventure and PCs before you run “Situation Vacant,” and if you don’t like things, change them. The whole idea here is to have a fun one-shot evening adventure to change the pace a little. The Master interjects at a few points in the adventure with some tests or comments of his own, just to make sure he gets the right revolting serf. Sharing the prize is not acceptable—there can be only one . . . THE MASTER XP 9,600 NE male human necromancer 11 Init +4; Senses Perception +9 DEFENSE AC 18, touch 18, flat-footed 18 (+4 bracers of armor, ring of protection +4) hp 86 (11d6+44) Fort +7, Ref +3, Will +9 OFFENSE Speed 30 ft. Melee +3 arcane bond dagger (1d4+1) or grave touch +3 (shaken 5 rounds) Ranged +8 light crossbow +3 (1d8+3 plus poison [wyvern poison]) horrors, you’ll need to work as a team—at least initially—to retrieve my mighty eyewear. “One final thing—under no circumstances should you actually wear the monocle, or dire consequences will result for you. Well, what are you waiting for? Encouragement? Get my damned monocle back and be quick about it!” Situation Vacant: An Adventure

124 Wizard Spells Prepared (CL 11th; concentration +17) 6th—antimagic field, chain lightning, create undead§ 5th—mage’s faithful hound, magic jar§, symbol of pain, waves of fatigue 4th—animate dead§, bestow curse, contagion, dimension door, fear 3rd—explosive runes, fireball, gaseous form, phantom steed, stinking cloud, vampiric touch§ 2nd—blindness/deafness§, fog cloud, ghoul touch, scare, scorching ray, spectral hand 1st—alarm, cause fear, chill touch, hold portal, ray of enfeeblement§, unseen servant 0 (at will)—bleed, disrupt undead, ray of frost, touch of fatigue § Specialist School Bonus Spell (Necromancy); Opposition Schools Enchantment, Illusion Special Attacks power over undead (9 times/day) STATISTICS Str 6, Dex 10, Con 18, Int 20, Wis 14, Cha 10 Base Atk +5; CMB +3; CMD 13 Feats Brew Potion, Command Undead, Craft Magic Armor and Weapons, Craft Wand, Craft Wondrous Item, Forge Ring, Greater Spell Focus (necromancy), Improved Initiative, Scribe Scroll, Spell Focus (necromancy) Skills Appraise +13, Craft (alchemy) +13, Craft (books) +13, Craft (calligraphy) +13, Craft (traps) +13, Fly +7, Knowledge (arcana) +13, Knowledge (engineering) +13, Knowledge (geography) +13, Knowledge (history) +13, Knowledge (planes) +13, Linguistics +13, Perception +9, Profession (engineer) +9, Profession (herbalist) +9, Profession (scribe) +9, Spellcraft* +18 Languages Abyssal, Aquan, Common, Dwarven, Giant, Gnome, Undercommon SQ life sight (10 ft.; 11 rounds/day) Combat Gear bracers of armor +4, light crossbow +3, 20 bolts, staff of conjuration (29), potion of blur, potion of cure serious wounds, ring of protection +4, ring of invisibility Other Gear mummified gerbil used as a purse containing three glass eyes, a glove puppet xorn, hefty toweled robe used as a smoking jacket, hookah pipe and hedgehog pouch filled with expensive brandy-scented tobacco, Know Your Xorns: A Simple Richly Illustrated Handler’s Guide, a stuffed raven with three heads, a corkscrew shaped like an ankheg’s mouth, a scroll of mending sewn into the lining of robe and long forgotten. TACTICS During Combat The Master avoids combat wherever possible, but if he faces combat, he dons his ring of invisibility and then attempts to withdraw to the edges of combat to cast his best attacking spells, leading with chain lightning. If he’s at risk of being hit, the Master attempts to move away again, using his potion of blur, or he wards himself with his mage’s faithful hound. The Master thinks nothing of unleashing his minion into combat, suspicious that the homunculus is secretly mastering his own spellbooks while he sleeps. Morale The Master flees combat when even slightly injured, using all his defensive spells to seek escape (often dimension door first). Situation Vacant: An Adventure

125 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Situation Vacant: An Adventure Having sealed his previous wretch in a glass jar in a dark corner of his laboratory, the Master now has a vacancy he needs filling. He has realized just how much his previous incumbent did (not that he would ever admit it) and got tired of tying his own laces and emptying his own chamber pot. Although incredibly short-tempered, the Master likes wit, and if questioned about his underplumbing, he may be persuaded to jog his memory enough to hand useful information to the wretches. However, he doesn’t like flippant questions, so if the skill checks within the questions below are not successful, he punishes the homunculi for wasting his time by using a wand of acid splash at them (attack +5). Since homunculi are not great talkers (most are not talkers at all), the skill check is purely based upon Charisma (–2) so there are plenty of chances for abuse and failure. PCs asking the Master what lies within the underplumbing and making a Charisma check (DC 10) draw a slight crease of a smile from his lips. He tells the PCs that he regularly uses his plumbing to dispose of unwanted objects, and that recently he has lost a quasit and had to flush a gelatinous cube down there—both have not been seen since. He adds thoughtfully that when he first came to his lodgings, he destroyed his great uncle Magnolius’s phylactery and cast it into the underplumbing. He knows the lich was drawn down after it, and as he has never seen it since, he assumes it is destroyed. But, you never know: liches are unpredictable, even when there is nothing left of them. A DC 15 check avails the PCs of a further piece of information: the underplumbing stretches far below his laboratory and the streets, where all manner of horrors may await. He cares nothing for these horrors—only the monocle. The Master—who will be using arcane eye to watch events from his arcane sofa— wants to test the new menials’ mettle and ability with magic. He throws a selection of potions onto the table, expecting a fight to break out. The Master notes how the potions are distributed, but if anyone suggests sharing them, he berates that construct immediately. Sharing is not an asset he admires in a menial, and he thus distributes all potions to PCs who did not suggest sharing them. There are potions of grease, shield, shocking grasp, ventriloquism, bull’s strength, cat’s grace, and fog cloud. The caster level is 11th. The Master also generously equips the PCs with 10 hefty lead darts each. They are Medium size and therefore too big for the PCs to easily use, and they are thrown at –4, for a total attack of ranged dart +0 (1d3-1). Plenty of bags and backpacks are round the laboratory, but attempts to remove anything else result in lightning bolts being thrown. Finally, the Master gives each PC a special magic item of his own devising: the painful chirurgeon’s sewing kit, which is a single-use magic item. When activated (by plunging the needle into the skin of any construct), it heals 1d10 hit points through crude sewing and stitching. Unfortunately for those benefitting from the kit, as the needles first enter the wounds, they actually cause 1 damage. He then tosses an extra kit between the PCs for them to squabble over and is bitterly disappointed if no fight occurs. It is raining, and it has been raining for as long as anyone can remember, so the plumbing will probably be moist. The Master’s house is high up in a steeply sloped hilly part of town with lots of neighbors, lots of gutters with water rushing downward, and no way of finding out where the exit to the Master’s sewer is from the outside.

126 The Applicants Each of the four applicants for the position have answered an advert in the Menial’s Gazette, a local rag specializing in drudgery for constructs and animated objects seeking arcane masters. As masterless homunculi, they have the rudimentary ability to speak Common, a distasteful skill they shed when they find a master. They still await the formal donation of a master’s blood and are effectively known as mercenary constructs by other, more self-important, menials. There are four homunculi present for the adventure, but in truth it doesn’t really matter how many there are; the whole thing is likely to end up in a big bunfight anyway, so bring others along for the ride if you wish. Don’t allow the players to choose their PC amicably; ask the players to choose a more unusual method of deciding who gets first pick—such as how many dry crackers a player can eat in a minute, who can sing a song in the highest voice, or who can balance a d12 on their head for longest whilst being struck in the midrift by the GM with rolled-up character-sheets. Each of the homunculi have collective telepathy and can read each other’s surface thoughts—all of which are murderous. Three times per day, a homunculi can send nasty distracting thoughts to another homunculus within 1,500 ft. When distracted in this way, the target must make a Will save (DC 10) or be confused; the save is Situation Vacant: An Adventure MIXING THE MASTER’S POTIONS Lots of potions are in this adventure, and as potion miscibility charts are always fun, here’s another for this adventure based upon our beloved d12. Each time a PC imbibes one or more potions while another functions, roll and apply the results. If one PC does not join in on the fun, roll it anyway when this PC drinks a potion and say that that potion had a lingering aftereffect you weren’t expecting. In fact, do it twice if you wish. Effects last as long as the potion effects do. 1. Arcane Glow: The imbiber is cloaked in magenta faerie fire. 2. Comedic Gums: The imbiber grows a very wide lolling mouth and tongue; its teeth draw back and it grows wide, exposed gums. The homunculus’s bite attack is lowered by 1 damage each successful hit (minimum 1 damage) as it more sucks than bites in combat for the duration. 3. Distended Feature: One of the PC’s physical aspects grows revoltingly but without benefit; it simply looks horrible. The affected appendage could be an ear, a nose, an eye, or any other part you wish. 4. Double Dose: Potion’s effects or duration is doubled, GM’s choice. However, the imbiber’s stomach grumbles loudly during this time, reducing attempts at Stealth by –4. 5. Eyes Bulge: The PC’s eyes almost pop out of its head; make all Perception checks at +4, and the character cannot be flanked.

127 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS 6. Grows Another Head: The extra head is revolting and argumentative. While the second head should be annoying, it doesn’t want to be hurt and won’t do anything dangerous to the PC bar insulting any companions continually. 7. Grows Extra Mouth: The PC grows a very wide grinning second mouth that sings hymns. The PC gains a second bite attack (at –2), but the singing modifies the PC’s Stealth checks by –4. 8. Head Grows: The character’s head grows much larger, bulging to look like a balloon about to burst. The character’s bite attack increases to 1d6. 9. Hirsute: The PC bursts into a ball of mangy fur and hair. The hair is +2 to AC. 10.Radically Altered Form: The PC’s form alters to become a sort of fleshy horror like an octopus and kitten and miniature tarrasque rolled into one. The PC does not change size, but it loses a special ability. 11.Rumbling Sheep Tummy Noises: Curious baa-ing noises emanate from the PC’s stomach; all Stealth checks are made at –4. 12.Weird Stormcloud: A tiny storm cloud erupts over the PC’s head, dousing that PC with perpetual rain. As a full round action that provokes an attack of opportunity, the PC can toss miniature lightning bolts at a range of up to 15 ft. These equate to magic missiles that deliver 1d2 damage. Situation Vacant: An Adventure remade each round, and if it fails the effect continues. The save DC is Intelligencebased. To use this ability, the PC’s player must describe, in glowing detail, exactly what these murderous thoughts are before attacking. Remember that constricts are destroyed when they reach 0 hit points; each PC has its own death and destruction note, just for effect . . . Once a decision has been made, each player should describe his or her character prior to the adventure proper starting. If, after this point, the PCs dither in any way, the Master threatens to fireball them all and place another advert in tomorrow’s paper. MAIRY Now here is an unpleasant thing; it could be a big toad, it could be a rat, it could even be a mangy seagull. In fact, it is none and all of them in one revolting green fleshy sack. MAIRY CR 1 XP 400 hp 11 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 176) Frog Tongue (Ex): Mairy’s tongue is like a giant frog’s; it can reach 10 ft. The tongue deals no damage but can be used to grab. Mairy does not gain the grappled condition when using her tongue in this manner. Messy End (Su): Her mouth suddenly grows wider and wider and wider until it swallows her whole body, leaving behind a toadstool that grows gull wings and tries to fly off before bursting with the smell of sugar, quicklime, and burning artichokes.

128 MIDGE Well, this can’t be natural; it has fleshy flaccid wings to match a face that seems to be perpetually sighing. Bits of sheep and puppies are in there too, but it’s the handlebar moustache on its monkeyesque face that draws your attention most. MIDGE CR 1 XP 400 hp 11 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 176) Bestial Belch (Sp): Three times per day, Midge can unleash a foul belch, in a 15 ft. cone of horribleness. Everything caught within the smell zone must make a Reflex save (DC 10) or suffer the effects of a stinking cloud (CL 1st). Messy End (Su): Midge begins to shake and twitch. Slowly all his bits fall off and he drops into a twitching pile of offal topped by a handlebar moustache, which drifts away upon an arcane wind to the sound of celestial piping and distant clapping. MUNGJO Eurgh! What a repellent thing we have here; sort of like a fleshy kitten with bald wings and a long nervy tail. Its cat face is fixed in a wide rictus grin, and it purrs loudly. MUNGJO CR 1 XP 400 hp 11 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 176) Giggling Madness (Sp): Three times per day, Mungjo can deliver a revoltingly cat-like scream of laughter the equivalent of a hideous laughter spell (save DC 10, caster level 1st). Messy End (Su): Mungjo drops to the floor, holding its sides in laughter. The laughter grows, becoming hysterical until it literally laughs itself to bits, with the bits vanishing into distant, ethereal cackling and leaving an oddly ozone smell behind. YUCK There’s a lot of unusual stitches in this thing, which is made of lots of poultry parts. Among the bobble stitches and crochet ruffles, you can see at least one line of crocodile stitch, probably because the thing has a baby alligator head and an odd fake miniature stirge fixed to its fleshy shoulder, which has gold epaulets above a line of medals. YUCK CR 1 XP 400 hp 11 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 176) Blech! (Ex): As a move-equivalent action that does not provoke an attack of opportunity, a bit of Yuck’s skin stitching peels back and a big toothy maw erupts outward, striking any creature within 15 ft. (bite +3, 1d6–1 plus poison). Yuck takes 1–2 damage when using this ability. Situation Vacant: An Adventure

129 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Situation Vacant: An Adventure Messy End (Su): A bit of Yuck’s stitching unravels, and slowly more and more slips away. He spins round and round, slowly unravelling until there is nothing left but a wicker basket of wool with a pair of knitting needles and a fluffy kitten and miniature unicorn on top. Within moments, they vanish, leaving behind the smell of lavender and the sound of stampeding goats of travail. Underplumbing Features The underplumbing is the collective name for the drainage from the laboratory. The area is dark, smelly, and oily. As a consequence of recent rains, the place is also extremely moist and prone to unexpected arrivals of more water from various sumps, shafts, and gutter tanks high above. These are fed into the system by various side holes and drains, all of which are covered by a thick, phlegmy mesh iron grill some 1 ft. in diameter and rusted shut (Break DC 35). Below, the Master is god. Those encountered herein sing his praises and glance upward to the heavens whenever his name is mentioned. The PCs can shout his name whenever they engage in combat, at which point some occupants bow and scrape, giving them an initiative check of –6. A Bluff check (DC 8) is required to achieve this; failure by 5 or more means the opponent sees through the sham and gains +4 to his or her initiative check. Only one attempt to deceive opponents may be made in this way per combat, but the check succeeds or fails against everyone in a given area. All potions are discarded ones made by the Master; they are caster level 11th and are labeled unless otherwise stated. The floors of the area are slimy, and anyone trying to stand upon them must make an Acrobatics check (DC 7, DC 11 in severely sloped areas). Creatures with wings don’t have this difficulty, nor do the occupants, who wear specially modified boot soles or are used to the environment. In truth, the plumbing is far more than just a sinkhole into the sewers; it is a battleground. For many years, two tribes—one of mites and the other kobolds— have vied for supremacy of the underplumbing, but the arrival of the esoteric monocle has changed things. The monocle was flushed down into the depths of the underplumbing where it came into the hands of the kobold’s leader, the quasit Naughty Loocee. She saw the object’s power and decided that the time was right to lead the kobolds to the Promised Land, a place she had seen before but which lay a perilous journey away beyond horrors. THE LABORATORY AND SINKHOLE The Master’s sink is a wide, carved, stone depression in the floor, and it’s about 4 ft. round and 2 ft. deep. In the center, a black hole approximately 1 ft. across that has a large brass ring around it descends into the dark. The sides of the stone sinkhole vary in width between 1 ft. and 2 ft. The edges are slick with congealed fat, oil, and other alchemical substances, and the sides are impossible to Climb (not that that bothers anything with wings) as a result of this goop. The shaft descends some 20 ft. before entering the pipes below, where dozens of metal grills on the walls allow water and sewage through.

130 LEVEL 1. THE UPPERPIPES D1. DESCENT INTO THE DEPTHS OF THE UNDERPLUMBING (CR 2) The sinkhole opens into a wide, domed space, its walls slick with goo and slime and pierced in places by recesses and shelves with skulls upon them. The floor of the chamber slopes away to its edges and joins a trio of arched, oily openings. The floor is slippery and sloped, but not a problem for those who can fly or the occupant, who wears specially soled boots. The skulls are of various humanoid creatures, as well as rats and stirges. Creatures: When the PCs arrive, they are greeted by Mad Meg the Mad Mite, who arrives from Area D3 carrying a huge, fragile glass jar within which something slithers. The slithery thing is Slurping Bob, her beloved pet giant leech and effectively WORDS OF DISCOURAGEMENT AND ENCOURAGEMENT 1 As the PCs descend the plumbing into this area, they see a mysterious arcane eye momentarily manifest itself above the first PC into this area. A celestial voice lightly abuses them for their lack of haste, shoddy skills, or overconfidence, and then the eye vanishes, leaving behind a smell of beeswax and bloody meat. Situation Vacant: An Adventure

131 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Situation Vacant: An Adventure a cohort. She usually carries him over her head, though she’ll sometimes cart him around in a cast-off wheelbarrow that somehow made it into the Upperpipes. Meg greets the strangers and honors the Master, then she tells the PCs she is bored and wishes a little sport. Her game is knock the skull, which is played with spherical lead bearings the Master dropped down here years ago and which Meg has in two hefty leather bags about her person. She challenges one PC to a game—three balls each. The one that knocks off the most skulls wins. If she wins, she feeds the character to Slurping Bob; if the PC wins, she does what the PC wishes. Meg has treasure and knowledge, but she gives up only one in a bet. MAD MEG THE MAD MITE CR 1/4 XP 100 hp 3 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 207) SLURPING BOB (LEECH, GIANT) CR 2 XP 600 hp 19 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 187) Development: Some of the skulls are fixed to the recesses or shelves, and Meg knows which are which. Unless a PC makes a Perception check, there is a 50 percent chance the skull struck will remain, even if hit. A Perception check (DC 5) identifies at least one unsecured skull, a DC 10 check identifies two and a DC 15 check all three. The skulls are AC 11, and tossers must stand at least 5 feet away. The balls weigh about 2 lbs. each and are improvised weapons, but not for Meg, who throws them at her normal attack. A successful hit knocks a skull over, and a confirmed critical hit somehow knocks two down at once—bravo. Bob is in a very brittle jar, and if it is dropped, he slithers out to attack. Meg slinks back into her vault (area D3) and starts to toss darts if Bob is injured. If she wins the contest, Meg expects the PC to abide and allow Bob to eat him or her unmolested. If the PC retaliates, she attacks the PCs with her darts. If she loses, Meg offers the PCs either a choice of treasure from her boudoir, or some knowledge, detailed next. The Master tosses gifts from the heavens—potions, artifacts, and all sorts of random things—to support his flock. Many of these items end up in Meg’s boudoir or are taken to her kin below, the Sump Tribe, led by Jarl Toughflanks the Mighty, or their enemies the Bleachy kobold tribe (named after their pale, sickly white color) further in the underplumbing. The last thing that came through was a gift from the god himself: a beautiful golden ring. Alas, because of all the rain, it was washed far below, beyond even her kin. However, so great was this boon that she understands it has driven their kobold enemy from far below away, and even now the mites are preparing a mighty assault to claim back the whole underplumbing for their own. Meg is not being entirely truthful—characters making a Perception check (DC 10) notice she is looking a bit sheepish. She knows about Vim the twin obscenity and the quasit Prophet Naughty Loocee, who has allied herself with the kobolds of late. Treasure: One of the skulls has several ceremonial darts hammered into it: four of these darts are obviously magic and are +3 darts.

132 DEVELOPMENT: AREAS D2-D4 After the encounter with Meg has resolved itself, allow the PCs to make Perception checks (DC 15); those who succeed hear a sudden gulping from the sinkhole above as gallons of water churn downward from an old watertank in the rooftops high above. The water submerges this area. Characters making a Fly check (DC 20, DC 15 if they succeed on the Perception check) can fly above the tumult as it passes in 4 rounds. Those who fail this check are swept into the nearest chamber below, or beyond that in the case of area D4. Those swept into D2 are attacked by Grod; those swept into D4 are tossed into the level below with the consequences listed. D2. SHRINE OF THE SLITHERY GROD (CR 2) A sloping, slimy tunnel descends into the darkness. The tunnel slopes away at over 45 degrees and runs approximately 60 ft. to a metal grill. Creature: Lurking above the grill is a choker, an old enemy of Meg’s that skulks down here and subsists on scraps. It attacks anything that comes into range, and lurks above the tunnel in a small recess to avoid passing drainage water, which plummets down into a grate immediately below the lair. GRUMPY GROD, CHOKER CR 2 XP 600 hp 16 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 45) Treasure: Grod has slinked away a small cache of beauties within his lair, including a potion of barksin +2 and a potion of summon monster II (giant centipede). D3. VAULT OF THE MEG (CR 1) The slimy tunnel ahead descends into darkness. The sloped corridor eventually enters a small cyclindrical space with a large metal grate at the base and a makeshift set of steps rising above to various flotsam shelves. Creature: Meg sleeps here with Slurping Bob and her other friend, a sewage elemental (a thing known as an arcane dribble) called Sponge. If anyone other than its friends enter, Sponge attacks. Sewage elementals are identical to water elementals but they smell more. ARCANE DRIBBLE—SEWAGE ELEMENTAL, SMALL CR 1 XP 400 hp 13 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 126) Treasure: In the raised area, Meg has stored several oddments and valuables, including a brass plug on a silver chain worth 10 gp, a mummified mink, a stoneware two-headed dodo with bronze bracers of armor +2 around each neck, a trio of harpsichord keys, and three potions labeled “Danger—do not use!” underneath. Each potion functions normally but has a random miscibility effect Situation Vacant: An Adventure

133 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Situation Vacant: An Adventure since they have extracts of other potions in their makeup. The potions are true strike, disguise self, and mirror image. D4. DOWNWARD! The tunnel slopes downward into dank darkness. The tunnel slithers along for 50 ft. or so and then plummets downward for a 100 ft. into level 2 below. The final 10 ft. opens into area D5. Characters forced this way by water must make a Reflex save (DC 10) or take 1d3 damage as they are shoved into area D5 below. LEVEL 2. THE UNDERPLUMBING OF THE MITES The mite’s fortification is in this area: a level of concentric rings of iron and stone that descend into the bowels at the center of the chamber and into a sinkhole to level 3 below, which is the home of the mite’s enemies the kobolds. All has gone eerily quiet in the level below, and the mites suspect that at long last the kobolds have decided that the mites are too powerful for them. As the PCs arrive, the mites are getting lightly drunk on fermenting apples and arguing about what to do. Their leader—Jarl Toughflanks the Mighty—is all for descending the sinkhole on their battle centipedes of woe and seeing what is happening. His adviser, Wisemite

134 Grumble Neverhappy—advises caution, awaiting a sign from the gods that followed the earlier one she (and she alone) saw—the descent of a great celestial gold halo into the level below via the sinkhole. D5. THE UNDERPLUMBING (CR 3) You arrive in a curious chamber: a wide circular area with a series of descending rings in the floor, eventually leading to a deep dark tube surrounded by spiked things all pointing downward. A group of strange turquoise-skinned creatures watch as you enter, drawing weapons as you do. The rings are separated by 2 ft. in height and width, and their surface is slippery, but the mites and centipedes have mastered this. The shaft is 50 ft. deep and wreathed in pointy sticks all pointing downward (Climb DC 25). The centipedes, however, climb it without checks. PCs making a Perception check (DC 15) note that behind the grime, water, and rusty smears are various scratched images and paintings of the Master in the room, depicting him in a ray of heavenly light, sailing the stars in a godly coracle, or milking honey from celestial goats of vast corpulence with endless teats. Creatures: There are 8 mites in all; all conform to standard mites, but their leader Jarl Toughflanks the Mighty has rags of flotsam metal armor, giving him AC 17, touch 12, flat-footed 16 (+5 armor, +1 Dex, +1 size). His adviser, Wisemite Grumble Neverhappy, wields a wand of blur (13 charges), which she has mastered using and which she utilizes first on her chief and then on herself if combat arises. She also has five vials of alchemist’s fire the Master discarded since he wasn’t happy with its color. Four of the mites (the chief and advisor included) have giant centipede mounts; they can use these mounts to climb the walls and ceilings. MITES (8) CR 1/4 XP 100 each hp 3 each (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 207) CANTERING BATTLE CENTIPEDES OF WOE (4) CR 1/2 XP 200 each hp 5 each (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 43) Development: The chief is spoiling for a fight; his advisor is not. The others are caught between their conscience and their cowardice, as well as their fear of both the chief and advisor. Grumble sees the PCs’ arrival as a message from the god; the jarl sees their arrival as a message from the kobolds. Unless the PCs attack immediately (in which case a mass combat occurs), the Wisemite says the PCs are heralds of the Master and bear a message. The jarl demands proof—if the PCs are servants of the Master they must have some special talent for being here in the Underplumbing. Let them each and every one show their worth! Let’s be honest; mites are pretty easily impressed, and, being fey, they are very fickle. The intention here is to put the emphasis on each player to do something, and if, in your view, any of them fail, the jarl orders the attack. The PCs can make something up—a rhyme or song about the monocle, extolling the Master’s power Situation Vacant: An Adventure

135 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Situation Vacant: An Adventure and true reason for their exploration, or some other way that makes you and at least one other player smile—or they can try a skill check that you deem appropriate. The roleplaying attempts should all generally succeed, but any skill check below 10 fails; so if a player says his or her character is making a grand speech about the Master and backs it up with a check, the character needs to succeed at the check, whereas if the player actually makes the speech and does decently, that character succeeds. If all the PCs succeed, the jarl smiles, lowers his weapons, and invites the PCs—as emissaries of the god—to join their feast and deliberation. If any fail, all the mites except the Wisemite attack; she hangs back and tries to parlay with the PCs again once the jarl is dead. If the matter ends on friendly terms, the jarl (or his advisor if the jarl is dead) accepts any reasonable request for help, and offers two of the mounted mites as guardians and escorts on the Great God Master’s celestial quest. The mites readily inform the PCs that recently a golden disk of celestial light (the monocle) descended from the heavens, bounced, and fell below. If asked if that was about the time the kobolds all went quiet, the mites agree and prostrate themselves before the Master’s wise minions. Treasure: Among various bits of flotsam are a small light crossbow and eleven +2 bolts, a tanglefoot bag, a combination potion of invisibility and warp wood, a wand of daze (8 charges), and a wand of acid splash (6 charges). LEVEL 3. THE SUMP OF THE BLEACHY KOBOLDS When the monocle fell into the Sump, the kobold’s leader, the quasit Prophet Naughty Loocee, realized its power. She stared through the eyepiece and became infused with one of its abilities—to see the future. She instantly knew that the time had come to lead the kobolds out of the smelly old cellar and into what she has called the Promised Land beyond. With the monocle and kobolds at her side, the quasit began imagining all kinds of nasty vengeance upon those who had harmed her in the city above. She led the kobolds on a perilous journey, but only after spicing up their old lair with a few traps and letting out the kobolds pets—lots of dire rats and an old half-blind crocodile called Toothybad the Not-Quite-Dragon. D6. THE SUMP (CR 3) This level is flooded, and the tunnels are all smelly and cylindrical (5 ft. across). The water within is 2 ft. deep, and 3 ft. above it is exposed to the air. Every so often, carved into the walls or made from hanging or floating bits of flotsam, are very rude, highly insulting notes, statuettes, or objects that ridicule the mites, and their jarl in particular. Use your judgment in what these objects might say or depict. The objects are so offensive to the mites that if they spot them (DC 15 Perception check when within 6 ft.) or if they are shown to the mites, the fey rush at them and tear them to pieces. These objects are marked on the map. Creatures: At each X is a dire rat. The rats are swimming about the pipes and do not

136 trigger any traps. If the rats see anyone, they give a little eek, alerting all other rats within 15 ft., who immediately swim into the fight. RAT, DIRE (9) CR 1/3 XP 135 each hp 5 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 232) Traps: The map shows the location of traps. The traps are all triggered by trip wires that hang vertically across the pipes. A Perception check (DC 25) notices them accidentally; lower the check to 15 if the PCs are looking for traps. The traps are as follows: A—arrow trap, P—poisoned dart trap, S—swinging axe trap, and T—pit trap (20 ft.). Remember that the pit traps are full of water. All traps are detailed on page 420 of the Pathfinder RPG Core Rulebook. D7. TOOTHYBAD THE NOT-QUITE-DRAGON (CR 2) The piping widens here into a space that has flooded enough so that only a foot or so remains above the water. Hanging from the top of the pipes are several unkind glove puppets, fetishes, and carvings depicting the jarl mite astride a variety of mounts, including puppies, hamsters, and moles. Each carving depicts the jarl in the most unkind way and spares nothing for his feelings. The water is 8 ft. deep here and smells foul. Bits of floating detritus might allow for temporary footing for any who fall into the water, making this a challenging environment for those who cannot swim. Creature: Toothybad the Not-Quite-Dragon, a one-eyed, old crocodile, lurks in the waters below. His statistics are altered from the standard ones in the Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, as detailed below. TOOTHYBAD THE NOT-QUITE-DRAGON CR 2 XP 600 hp 22 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 51) Melee bite +2 (1d8+1) and tail slap –3 (1d12) Special Attacks death roll (1d8+2 plus trip) Tactics: Toothybad is a cunning old croc, and he slinks beneath the waters if he hears anything coming, lurking in the flotsam here until he can make a surprise attack and then dragging his foes below the sewage to drown and eat. Treasure: Loitering in the depths of the water (DC 20 Perception check to find) is an experimental potion that is both a potion of rage and potion of shillelagh (CL 7th). D8. THE THRONE ROOM OF THE PROPHET AND VOYAGE TO THE PROMISED LAND The ceiling of this chamber is higher, leaving at least 5 ft. above the grimy water, upon which floats a small makeshift raft that has a scroll on it. The entire chamber has a raised boardwalk of flotsam, but this is now all smashed Situation Vacant: An Adventure

137 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Situation Vacant: An Adventure and floats forlornly within the area. Above the waters, various tokens, totems, and fetishes depict the Master. They show him berating whimpering dragons with a sap, slaughtering legendarily vast chaos hedgehogs while wearing his fez of chaos, and eating celestial ambrosia with a golden spoon off the stomachs of nubile lady kobolds with very little on. At the chamber’s far side, slimy steps rise out of the water and into a niche. The waters here are also deeper, falling 12 ft. below the surface to jagged, rusting iron. The makeshift raft floats aimlessly in the waters; for those without wings, a Climb check (DC 12) is required to clamber from the waters to board it. The scroll is actually a short, highly insulting note from the prophet. It is written both in broken Common and bad Undercommon and contains some insulting pictures of the mites. The steps rise from the waters, and the niche contains a slimy tunnel that descends at an acute angle downward for some 50 ft. to Level 4 below. The Climb DC for those without wings is 10, but the giant centipedes could easily descend without checks. LEVEL 4. THE PLUMBING OF DOOM D9. THE SINK (CR 4) The sloping shaft ends at an airy space, and a shaft splits the pipe ahead. As you see the echoing space, a vast torrent of water suddenly plummets through

138 it. From somewhere deep below in the shaft, sounds of hunger and fleshy slapping answers the water. The shaft is a water pipe that descends 40 ft. to a metal grill at its base and rises a similar distance to another grill. Every so often, waters crash through the pipes above and plummet downward. Anyone crossing the open shaft has a 1-in-2 chance of the water falling at the moment they cross, but the chance is reduced to a 1-in-3 chance if the PC succeeds at a Perception check (DC 20) the round before. This modifier applies to characters crossing the shaft at the same time; but only one chance is given. If caught in the water, characters must succeed at a Reflex save (DC 15) or be driven downward to the shaft base, taking 1d2 damage. Giant centipedes could cross the shaft carefully, but it takes a successful Ride check (DC 12) to do so in 2 rounds; a successful DC 17 check is needed to cross in a single round. Mites taking 2 rounds face two random chances of being caught in a deluge. The shaft requires a similar check or Climb check to escape if anyone is swept below. Creature: Lurking in an oily recess some 20 ft. down the shaft is Rumbly Losh, the Unfussy Glutton—an otyugh. It has just finished a delicious fresh kobold but is always hungry. It sits in a 5-ft.-wide recess that it almost fills, but characters fighting it could enter the space and be immune to the water effects. Characters falling past Losh face a tentacle attack, as do those who fly or Climb past upward. WORDS OF DISCOURAGEMENT AND ENCOURAGEMENT 2—BEHOLD THE BADGER OF MISERY! As the PCs enter area D8 (or any other spot that seems likely to help with adventure pacing), the celestial arcane eye of the Master floats above one PC in particular—the one who has struggled, done the least, or simply been the unluckiest—and the eye is red with wrath. In his arcane distant voice, the Master hugely insults that PC, highlighting his or her failures in vivid detail. He then pronounces punishment upon that PC: the poor sap will face his celestial winged badger alone. Creature: A celestial winged badger is suddenly summoned and attacks the PC in question; should any other PCs join in, the Master berates them for softness and the badger splits its attacks accordingly. Surrounded by holy light, the badger swoops in and attacks, beatifically. If destroyed, it vanishes in a puff of incense and ginger scent born by golden butterflies. Use the statistics for a standard badger with the celestial template, but this one has wings and a fly speed of 50 ft. (good). CELESTIAL WINGED BADGER CR 1/2 XP 200 hp 9 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 294; Bestiary 2, page 40) Situation Vacant: An Adventure

139 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Situation Vacant: An Adventure RUMBLY LOSH, THE UNFUSSY GLUTTON—OTYUGH CR 4 XP 1,200 hp 39 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 223) Treasure: Losh has just eaten the kobold, but left the spear, sling, 10 bullets, and armor, which it found a bit tough on its teeth. D10. VIM THE TERRIBLE AND THE MAZE OF OBLIVION (CR VARIABLE) Beyond the shaft echoes what must be a maze—corridors vanish in all directions. From somewhere ahead, you hear a distant grumbling “mnar” sound of a monster waking. When the prophet led the kobolds across here, she scouted the maze invisibly and found her way to the Promised Land (area D11), but even as she led the kobolds through, she couldn’t resist betraying a couple to the terrible infestation that dwells in these pipes—Vim the Twin Square Obscenity. The pipes here are not flooded, but, like the others, they are 5 ft. in diameter. Character’s making a Perception check (DC 10) notice how clean these pipes are. Creatures: Vim the Twin Square Obscenity, a gelatinous cube that fell out with itself somehow and split into two, briefly relented to birth more cubelets one hot steamy summer a few years ago. There are two parts of Vim, and three young that sweep the corridors here. For some reason, Vim and its progeny have developed great big mouths with pointy teeth that gnash but otherwise have no combat effect. WORDS OF DISCOURAGEMENT AND ENCOURAGEMENT 3—BEHOLD THE CHASM OF DEATH! When the PCs reach this area, the Master simply calls out the title of this bit (BEHOLD THE CHASM OF DEATH!) in an eerie deep voice that vanishes into a growl. Do try to make those capitalized words sound like capitalized words. SILLY FUN IN THE MAZE OF OBLIVION Running mazes can be tricky, and trickiness should be avoided by any hard-working GM. The simplest way to run this section is to ask your players to turn their backs on the gaming table, battlemat, or whatever method enables you to draw the full maze, then populate it with figures or representations of the occupants, allowing the characters to hear where they are without being able to see the bigger picture. Vim and its progeny slither about, but are likely to head toward their nearest prey. This way, two PCs working together could keep a part of the cube busy whilst others slip by and so on. The big question? Are the PCs likely to do so, or will they think this is a great moment to be rid of their fellow interviewees?

140 VIM THE TERRIBLE, THE TWIN SQUARE OBSCENITY—GELATINOUS CUBE (2) CR 2 XP 600 each hp 34 each (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, pages 138, 295) Vim’s slam attack is +0 (1d4 plus 1d2 acid). PROGENY OF VIM—CUBELET, GELATINOUS CUBE, SMALL (3) CR 1 XP 400 each hp 18 each (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, pages 138, 295) The cubelets’ slam attacks (+0) deliver 1d3 plus 1 acid. Development: Start with Vim (who fills four 5-ft. squares at a time) and its three young (who each fill 1 square) at random points you choose in the maze. Vim and its young are acutely aware of the pipes, and as soon as anyone enters they begin to hungrily slither toward any prey as though subject to a find the path spell with the foes as the targets. This skill does not work on invisible creatures. Remember that the homunculi are immune to the cube’s paralyzing effects since these effects require a Fortitude save. Treasure: Suspended in each of the parts of Vim are kobolds, their weapons and armor intact. In one of the young is a potion of greater magic fang, and in two others are experimental elixirs that combine the effects of both an elixir of love and elixir of fire breath labeled “love and flame.” D11. GATEWAY TO THE PROMISED LAND A deep shaft opens up at the end of this short pipe and plummets downward. From far below can be heard raucous kobold shouting, laughing, and hymn-singing. The shaft, which also has iron steps beaten into its sides (making it a Climb DC 5) is 30-ft. deep and leads directly to the Promised Land. A sign above the entrance reads, in broken Common: Der Promised Land—Kobolds onlee! WORDS OF DISCOURAGEMENT AND ENCOURAGEMENT 4 Just as the PCs are about to descend into the Promised Land, the Master’s arcane eye glowers into view. An arcane spitting mouth forms, as the Master delivers a brutal assessment of the PCs’ actions; long on critique, short on measured observation, and infested with unkind and obscure cuss words directed in a highly personal fashion. He doubts sincerely that he will ever get his monocle back now, and as he vanishes, the PCs hear a kettle boiling somewhere around the celestial mouth and eye, and the smell of jammy dodgers wafts by. “Remember,” says the Master finally, “there can be only one . . .” Situation Vacant: An Adventure

141 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Situation Vacant: An Adventure LEVEL 5. THE PROMISED LAND (CR 4) You have entered a large space: a fetid marshy pool below a great vaulted ceiling. Flies, frogs, and rats lurk in this briar jungle, fed by bubbling pools. This is a place of smells and moss and darkness, yet nearby lies the city. Above, a quartet of metal taps drip steam, while a fifth, which is ruptured, billows out clouds of the stuff. The Promised Land is a flooded cellar below the Master’s neighbor, a laundry of some size which hangs above the cellar. Sluices, races, and brooks feed into this quicksand slime, yet there are enough small spaces, collapsed rooms, and cellar exits to provide succor and hiding spaces to the kobolds. Above and beyond in the city, food and pickings will be rich. The kobolds believe they have truly reached Nirvana—and they have no intention of giving it up. The floor is the consistency of quicksand, but the kobolds have already had a piece of luck—a cobbled-together raft lurks within the cellar and forms an excellent headquarters. Linked by the odd bit of flotsam, the kobolds have already improvised crude bridges, and even as they soar about their domain on battle flies, the future looks rosy. Enter the PCs . . .

142 Plenty of flotsam is about, so if the PCs have their mite allies with them, they can use them. Flotsam can also be moved, and if 5 or more damage is inflicted, the flotsam can either be destroyed or shoved up to 10 ft. in one direction by the attacker. The entire place is built below the vats of a laundry, and the five taps (all marked X) are actually old valves to draw steam off, long ago forgotten. One tap is broken, and steam plumes out. Anyone coming within 10 ft. of the broken tap must make a Reflex save (DC 10) or take 1 steam damage. The other taps have more periodic pressure behind them and can be used as weapons, although so far only the quasit has worked this out. The taps turn freely and have a small metal flange trigger on them to release steam in a 20-ft. line. To move a tap and turn it requires a Strength check (DC 10); operating the valve flange is a simple action and the whole act requires a full-round action that provokes an attack of opportunity. The steam released acts as a ranged touch attack (1d6+2 damage) but it takes 3 rounds for enough steam to build up to allow it to be used again once an attack has been made. There are two small exits out into the city beyond, and both are narrow grills easily wide enough for a Tiny creature to slip through. The streets beyond bustle with life, but while the PCs may be noticed and stared at, they are not attacked—unless you want a few local children to throw stones at them, of course. Creatures: The Prophet Naughty Loocee (a quasit), her surviving 8 kobold followers, 4 of whom are mounted on giant battle flies of despair (giant flies). THE PROPHET NAUGHTY LOOCEE, DEMON, QUASIT CR 2 XP 600 hp 16 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 66; swim 20 ft.) KOBOLDS (8) CR 1/4 XP 100 hp 4 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 183; swim 20 ft.) SICKLY TERRIBLE BATTLE FLIES OF DESPAIR (4)CR 1/2 XP 200 hp 7 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary, page 395; Bestiary 2, page 124) Tactics: Loocee immediately tries to cause fear and heads for the steam taps to launch ranged touch attacks if safe, moving invisibly. The only power Loocee has worked out while wearing the monocle (which looks quite odd on her) is its ability to see the future, which manifests itself in the improved uncanny dodge ability. The 4 mounted kobolds fly into action but are, in truth, pretty terrible at riding the flies—each time either is injured, the kobold must succeed at a Dexterity check (DC 15) or be thrown MESSING WITH THE MONOCLE An arcane curse means that if a construct or familiar wears the monocle, it turns that creature inside out, destroying it almost—but not quite—immediately. Situation Vacant: An Adventure

143 MORE WHISPERING HOMUNCULUS Situation Vacant: An Adventure from its mount and into the quicksand below. The quasit has some sort of demonic control over the flies, and while she is alive, they behave like animal companions to the kobolds. The remaining kobolds leap into attack. ENDING THE ADVENTURE Even with the monocle, the PC still needs to get back to the Master. Clever PCs may seek to fly directly out of the exits in the Promised Land and upward, a simple matter of a couple of rounds flying at speed. The PC who returns first with the esoteric monocle wins and is appointed the Master’s new homunculi. This PC is given a drop of blood, forbidden ever to speak again, soundly beaten, and sent to bed to ponder a rosy future. But what if the PCs do not return the monocle? What dire fate awaits them for defying the Master? If you had fun with this adventure, perhaps you and your players would like to continue the adventures of the masterless homunculi…

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE Open Game License v 1.0a Copyright 2000, Wizards of the Coast, Inc. System Reference Document. Copyright 2000, Wizards of the Coast, Inc.; Authors Jonathan Tweet, Monte Cook, Skip Williams, based on material by E. Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson. Pathfinder RPG Core Rulebook. Copyright 2009, Paizo Publishing, LLC; Author: Jason Bulmahn, based on material by Jonathan Tweet, Monte Cook, and Skip Williams. The Book of Experimental Might. Copyright 2008, Monte J. Cook. All rights reserved. Tome of Horrors. Copyright 2002, Necromancer Games, Inc.; Authors: Scott Greene, with Clark Peterson, Erica Balsley, Kevin Baase, Casey Christofferson, Lance Hawvermale, Travis Hawvermale, Patrick Lawinger, and Bill Webb; Based on original content from TSR. Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Bestiary. © 2009, Paizo Publishing, LLC; Author: Jason Bulmahn, based on material by Jonathan Tweet, Monte Cook, and Skip Williams. Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Bestiary 2, © 2010, Paizo Publishing, LLC; Authors Wolfgang Baur, Jason Bulmahn, Adam Daigle, Graeme Davis, Crystal Frasier, Joshua J. Frost, Tim Hitchcock, Brandon Hodge, James Jacobs, Steve Kenson, Hal MacLean, Martin Mason, Rob McCreary, Erik Mona, Jason Nelson, Patrick Renie, Sean K Reynolds, F. Wesley Schneider, Owen K.C. Stephens, James L. Sutter, Russ Taylor, and Greg A. Vaughan, based on material by Jonathan Tweet, Monte Cook, and Skip Williams. More Whispering Homunculus, © 2015, Open Design; Authors: Richard Pett, Wolfgang Baur, Miranda Horner.

$19.99 More Oddities andDisturbing Whimsies Ahead! Master Richard Pett takes us on a tour of the bizarre, the curious, and the strange in More Whispering Homunculus. Within you’ll find a multitude of weird charts that provide you with strange timepieces, unusual locations for overnight camping, extraordinary pets—among so many other things! Additionally, Wolfgang Baur and Miranda Horner grant you a look at explosions and supernatural activity, respectively. And finally, you’ll venture into the world of the Master with an adventure that allows players to portray hapless homunculi who seek a position. Whether you need a nugget of outlandish inspiration for your game or wish to run an odd little adventure, More Whispering Homunculus delivers!