Four four two

WE
THE 90S

and newspapers.” Even so, the somewhat sudden embrace by society’s FAnS In THE 80S WERE SEEn AS
middle orders caused some resentment in the working-class bedrock. “A MASS OF SWEARInG, BELCHInG
Kuper had noticed an attitude of “‘People shouldn’t write literate stuff SUB-HUMAnITY, WITH THE BODY-
about football, football’s an honest working-class game and all these SCEnT OF CHEESE-AnD-OnIOn CRISPS”
Johnny-come-lately middle-class poseurs should get out.’ Nick Hornby
got a lot of that, but it’s gone away now.” Coded Line Electronics) was replaced in 1993, having been outbid for

PHONE-INS FILL THE VOID the franchise by Teletext. The limitations of the platform were obvious:

At the beginning of the ’90s, the radio played a prominent part in the no pictures, apart from ones laboriously formulated from alphabetical
travelling supporter’s life. Every Saturday teatime, faced with miles of
mirthless motorway and an annoying wait of a few years before cars characters like a full-screen emoji. No video: a maximum of 24 lines on
habitually sported CD players, away fans would religiously listen to as
much of Sports Report as was left when they reached the motor from each screen, with a maximum of 40 characters per line.
the terrace, and then… well, to start with, that was pretty much it. For
the first year after its launch in August 1990, the new Radio Five (not If it sounds rubbish, that’s because it was, but if it was the best way
yet known as “Five Live”) was a mongrel beast that covered the news,
sport, education, children’s programmes and, from 6pm on Saturday of keeping in touch, that’s what you did. At the beginning of the ’90s,
evenings, The European Chart Show.
a phone was something that sat on a side table in your house and the
Clearly this was madness, and in ’91 they made an inspired signing
– or rather, a tactical switch. A chatty Millwall fan called Danny Baker internet was something you may have heard fleetingly mentioned on
was proving popular on the lunchtime phone-in Sports Call, and so got
asked to pop back from The Den in time to reprise the show just after Tomorrow’s World. Though Radio Two might carry match commentary
the six o’clock news. Thus was born 606.
sometimes, sports stations didn’t exist on the radio, let alone TV.
From the off, Baker was determined that this would not be a boring
dissection of tactics. One topic on the maiden show, signposted ‘Just So the best way to keep up with developing sports stories – like, say,
How Crooked Are Referees?’, attracted a call from Chelsea’s midfielder
Andy Townsend, who was only too happy to reel off a few decisions latest scores – was to watch Teletext. On the BBC, you’d tap in 303 for
from that afternoon’s match that he believed were questionable. As
Baker notes: “Andy’s remarks made the Sunday back pages, and 606 the First Division matches and then be presented with
was instantly declared to be the only place to go for all football fans
when in transit each weekend.” alphabetised latest scores, split up over three pages

Baker’s bubbling stew of offbeat topics and rabble-rousing roped in (more as the pages clogged with the goalscorers and
a huge audience, who somehow were not put off when he stood down
after a season to be replaced by David Mellor, a Conservative MP best sendings-off). If your team’s score didn’t show up on
known for a lurid tabloid splash detailing (falsely) how he’d persuaded
his mistress to let him wear a Chelsea strip during sex. that page, you just had to wait while the technology

The phone-in format was hardly new – one is mentioned in a 1925 scrolled through, like a vindictive Vidiprinter. This mute,
edition of the Radio Times, and BBC Radio Sheffield had been hosting
the football-themed Praise or Grumble for four years – but supporters pixellated, bare-bones information was the way that
flocked to put their two pennies’ worth across. The 1995 launch of Talk
Radio (later refocused and renamed TalkSport) offered an alternative, millions of armchair fans discovered their team were
and across the dial phone-ins proliferated – a prototype social media.
As with any social medium now, at worst it can end up becoming bar going to Wembley, or getting relegated.
bores shouting at each other, but at best it can provide some genuine
insight and entertainment. As the decade progressed, so did fans’ ways to ke

The ’90s also gave us video games that weren’t bobbins. Yes, some in touch. Along came the internet, with the stuffy
existed before – Dino Dini’s deathless Kick Off 2, various management
sims – but in came the mega-franchises (Championship Manager first Daily Telegraph becoming a surprise early adopter
appeared in 1992, FIFA in 1993) and a variety of other games such as
the popular Sensible Soccer. founding the Electronic Telegraph (no, really) in 19

Games also helped to broaden the minds. FourFourTwo contributor Soccernet, set up with assistance from the Daily Ma
turned Blizzard editor Jonathan Wilson has suggested that the growth
of supporters’ scope from parochial insularity to global awareness can launched for the start of the 1995-96 campaign, an
be partly ascribed to the massive success of Football Manager. Sports
Interactive studio director Miles Jacobson notes how: “When Hatem others soon followed suit, including the BBC’s webs
Ben Arfa signed for Newcastle and Alan Shearer said on Match of the
Day that he’d never heard of him, loads of people went on Twitter to joint venture Sportinglife.com and Football365, helm
say, ‘He obviously doesn’t play Football Manager’.”
NME editor Danny Kelly and at one point valued at h
CEEFAX, CEEFAX WHAT’S THE SCORE?
And these sites began to reach wider audiences lat
If anyone ever says to you that “snackable content” is a new-media
development, typical of a new generation’s short attention span etc, particularly around the time of the 1998 World Cup
feel free to smack them over the head with a remote control. It’s now
more than 40 years since the UK’s TV broadcasters started sending out minute-by-minute coverage.
80-word bulletins – which told you all you needed to know.
But while primitive browsers such as Internet Expl
Stumbled upon when technicians were trying to find a way to send
subtitles over the airwaves, the BBC’s Ceefax service had launched in Navigator might connect you to cyberspace via a dial m, the scores you had to wait
1974. ITV’s service Oracle (Optional Reception of Announcements by as the Ceefax service
information trickled towards you at a maximum theoretical speed of scrolled through like
a vindictive Vidiprinter;
56 kilobits per second, which was, in practice, usually more like 20kb. so some people used
a pager to get their fix
(For comparison, service providers now provide up to 300 megabits per

second). And that was until someone wanted to use the phone, which

shared the line with the modem: you couldn’t call someone and surf

the Net simultaneously. And obviously there was no such thing as the

mobile internet. What a time to be alive.

No, in the mid-to-late ’90s the average fan was more likely to keep

abreast of football scores with a pager. Much more cheaply available

than a mobile phone (which would not supply scores anyway, unless

you expensively rang someone who was watching Teletext), a pager

featured a single-line screen, across which would scroll score updates

and latest news, provided for a subscription fee.

It was a very different time, and it brought rapid, seismic changes –

football would never be the same again. Not everything new was to be

applauded or welcomed, but the vast majority of it was. We had never

had it so good, and to be alive in that time was heaven.

Its like may never come again, but its influence lives on forever.

FourFourTwo.com February 2018 51

AJAX
In THE 90S

WHEn

AJAX

RULED

T H E The Cruyff-inspired 1970s
team may have been their
greatest in history – but in
the early-90s a new golden
generation helped to make
Amsterdam the capital city
of Europe for a second time

Words Alec Fenn

AJAX
In THE 90S

t was the night before the 1995 Champions League Final, and next clip shows a young Edwin van der Sar jumping sideways across Clockwise from bottom
the biggest day of her son’s life, but Lidwina Kluivert slept well. a sequence of five long wooden boxes. Thirty seconds in, Wormhoudt Boys to men: LVG points
In her slumber, she saw young Patrick come on as a substitute appears wearing blue shorts and a white T-shirt, leading what seems the way during training;
and score the winning goal. Her premonition was so vivid that to be a step aerobics session to Eurobeat dance music. Frank Rijkaard, each session was studied
she felt compelled to tell him the following day, as she gave him Ronald and Frank de Boer, along with the rest of that famous team, all to evaluate its efficiency;
a hug and wished him good luck. Hours later, her dream came march on the spot before shimmying to their left and right and kicking Kluivert slips past Baresi
true, when the 18-year-old emerged off the substitutes’ bench the air with their opposite foot. The players then spin 360 degrees and before settling the 1995
to fire Ajax to a 1-0 win over Milan in front of 50,000 supporters clap to the beat of the music, with the class coming to an close with Champions League Final;
at Vienna’s Ernst Happel Stadium. a range of football-related movements, including leaping and heading sparking ecstatic scenes
an imaginary ball. Whoops of celebration and high fives greet the end
On paper, the victory seemed as unlikely as Lidwina’s dream. of the workout.
Ajax’s team that night had an average age of 23, while 13 of the 18
players involved, among them Edgar Davids, Clarence Seedorf and Jari “While I was working for Amsterdam Admirals, I noticed a greater
Litmanen, had been schooled in the academy. The Rossoneri, on the number of athletes in that sport compared to football,” Wormhoudt
other hand, were the reigning European champions, having thrashed tells FFT. “When I joined Ajax I felt that we could gain an advantage
Barcelona 4-0 a year earlier, and had won the cup three times in seven by training in a more specific way physically, so I invented something
years. Only one player was under 26 and their squad – featuring big called soccer aerobics which we did for four years to improve speed,
signings Marcel Desailly, Zvonimir Boban and Gianluigi Lentini – had agility and flexibility.” The sessions were a hit with players. “I thought
been assembled at great expense. it was great fun,” Ronald de Boer recalls to FFT. “The exercises made
us more flexible and quicker on our feet. I felt it also helped the speed
But the biggest surprise was the manner in which Ajax’s Class of ’95 of our reactions and aided our coordination. It all fitted in nicely with
conquered Europe. They weaved beautiful patterns as they performed the technical stuff we were doing.”
choreographed attacking moves. Every pass, sprint, shimmy and shot
had a purpose and was carried out at breakneck speed. The seamless Wormhoudt also noted the physical benefits gained by players who
blend of elegance and athleticism was summed up by the Real Madrid had played different sports. “Jari Litmanen had wonderful balance and
coach Jorge Valdano. “Ajax are not just the team of the ’90s, they are we thought it may have come from his diverse sporting background,”
approaching football utopia,” he admitted. “Their concept of the game he says. “He had to choose between ice hockey and football when he
is exquisite, yet they have physical superiority as well.” Ajax’s golden was 14. We encouraged young players to play more sports and created
boys had overthrown football aristocracy and nobody knew quite how sessions which weren’t specific to football.”
they’d done it.
To measure the efficiency of every practice, each player had to wear
The reality was the club were ahead of their time, and so was their a heart-rate monitor, while body fat was assessed repeatedly. These
boss. When Louis van Gaal replaced Leo Beenhakker in September ’91, were Ajax’s first steps into sports science, and their approach was in
he faced resistance from fans and the Dutch newspaper De Telegraaf, contrast to methods of the era when endurance was thought to be the
which called him “arrogant” and launched a campaign for the return key physical quality required to compete at the top level.
of Ajax icon Johan Cruyff. The 41-year-old had relatively little coaching
experience, aside from a three-year spell as their assistant manager, It was a mechanical approach to developing players, and Van Gaal’s
but his vision for the club was crystal clear. list of tactical demands also read like an instruction manual. In Louis’
world, every player was a number on the pitch, who had to carry out
Louis’ philosophy was based on a turbo-charged version of the Total a specific set of tasks in and out of possession. To do this successfully,
Football style pioneered by Ajax’s legendary coach Rinus Michels. The they needed to surrender individual desires for the benefit of the team.
system required players to be able to occupy any role on the pitch, so “Football is a team sport and members of the team are dependant on
the players maintained their structure at all times. Out of possession, each other,” he said at the time. “If certain players don’t carry out their
they would be instructed to hound opponents collectively, to retrieve tasks properly on the pitch, then their colleagues will suffer. This means
the ball as quickly as possible. It was a style that demanded technical each player must carry out his basic tasks to the best of his ability, and
quality, tactical intelligence and supreme athleticism. Only the most this requires discipline.”
talented and selfless players could thrive in Van Gaal’s system and he
set about forming his football factory, to put together a production line Those tasks varied depending on each position. The goalkeeper had
of players who would be a perfect fit for his tactical jigsaw. to be adept at playing with his feet as well as his hands, so he could
start moves and feed the most creative centre-back. The whole team
His initial step was a new approach to developing Ajax’s youth and moved in set patterns; if one player dropped back to receive the ball,
first-team players. He created an innovative three-man performance another had to make a run towards the opposition’s goal. The wingers
party, designed to make recruits fitter, faster and stronger than their were instructed to repeatedly make forward runs to open up space for
rivals. He brought in experts from different sports whose knowledge he a long ball from the back, while midfielders were told to stay behind
believed could be applied to football. Physiologist Jos Geysel, whose the wingers at all times. If an attack couldn’t be forged down the one
methods had enjoyed success in hockey, dispensed with long-distance
running training and developed more short-distance, multi-directional
sprinting sessions and tests. Running coach and ex-basketball player
Laszlo Jambor was hired to improve running technique, footwork and
co-ordination, and was held in such regard that he sat in the dugout
during games. But it was the last of this trio who contributed the most
colourful methods to their ambitious project.

In a quiet corner of Amsterdam’s Palladium bar, away from a group
of city-dwellers drinking early afternoon espressos, Rene Wormhoudt
is sat tapping away on his laptop. A stocky figure with a shaven head,
he was appointed the club’s strength and conditioning coach by Van
Gaal after a spell working with American Football team, Amsterdam
Admirals. He remained at Ajax until 2012 prior to taking up the same
role with the national team. On his screen he watches a grainy video
of the club’s famous side undergoing a training routine, many months
before their European triumph.

The players, in matching red shirts, navy blue shorts and black Nike
trainers, perform skipping exercises in unison inside a sports hall. The

54 February 2018 FourFourTwo.com

AJAX
In THE 90S

THE AJAX YOUnGSTERS HAD SPEnT THREE YEARS BEInG SCHOOLED In VAn
GAAL’S TALEnT FACTORY, AnD THERE WAS A UnIQUE BOnD BETWEEn THEM

AJAX
In THE 90S

side, they then had to switch the ball to the opposite flank as quickly league, but lifted the UEFA Cup after an away-goals win over Torino.
as possible. All of this was to be played out in the confines of a 4-3-3 The side consisted largely of academy players, but the success came
or 3-4-3 formation. at a price as he watched his star men being cherry-picked by wealthy
Serie A clubs. Dennis Bergkamp and Wim Jonk both signed for Inter,
To ensure his players carried out his demands to the letter, Van Gaal John van ’t Schip and Marciano Vink joined Genoa and Michel Kreek
insisted on relentless rehearsals of basic exercises. “We would focus was picked up by Padova.
on drilling balls to everyone’s right foot over and over again,” explains
Ronald de Boer. “It became a kind of underlying challenge to move the Van Gaal was forced to start from scratch. But it proved a blessing
ball from foot to foot as fast as we could. We would also practise our in disguise as he opted to place his faith in the club’s next generation
long-distance passes over 30 metres repeatedly, so we could switch of talent, who he believed were even better than those who had left.
the play at speed. After about three months we had mastered those Out of the ashes of one gifted group, a great one was formed over the
exercises really well. I can remember other sessions as well, where we following three seasons.
played six against three and the team with six would only be allowed
one or two touches. After a while, the position games were executed Ajax’s youngsters had spent three years being schooled in the Van
at such a high level, and when new players arrived they would watch Gaal talent factory and now there was a unique bond between them.
with open mouths.” There were, of course, the De Boer brothers, while Patrick Kluivert and
Surinam-born Edgar Davids were childhood friends who grew up on
Right and below Dutch Those who failed to digest the Van Gaal manual were soon shown the neighbouring streets in Amsterdam. Davids was even scouted by the
delirium: Marc Overmars door. Fan favourite Jan Wouters was flogged to Bayern Munich after club on the personal recommendation of Lidwina, who had noticed
and Frank Rijkaard savour losing his place to promising youngster W his talent while he was playing with her son. Another skilled starlet,
the Vienna triumph over months after being crowned Dutch Playe
Milan; Frank de Boer and Bryan Roy’s individual brilliance got supp as born in the same region of Surinam as Davids,
Winston Bogarde lift the seats, but his apparent lack of football in the homecoming of legend Frank Rijkaard – back
trophy as Ajax fans party left his coach unimpressed. “I no longer a successful five-year spell at Milan – offered vital
Roy,” he said after deciding to sell him to as well as a father figure for the younger players
in 1992. “I have tried everything with him ok up to in the dressing room.
individual training. He didn’t mind runnin any of them still looked like schoolboys, but they
the team, but he couldn’t think for the te re streetwise beyond their years and their coach
It was impossible to improve him.”
eager to listen to any creative ideas. During one
Van Gaal was dead set on creating a p ng session, Ronald de Boer suggested borrowing
team in his image. After a lacklustre start from basketball, known as ‘picking’, to enhance
yielded 20 points from their opening 16 from set-pieces. At the moment a corner-kick was
his revolution began to gather pace. At t would sprint towards an opposition player who
of his debut season in 1991-92, Ajax fin ne of his team-mates and deliberately block him.
three points short of PSV Eindhoven in t not, this left a forward free, as De Boer’s marker
p of tracking him as he made his dart across the
an Gaal loved it and swiftly added it to his team’s

KLUIVERT WAS FILMED GREETInG HIS MOTHER AT THE AIRPORT BEFORE
BURSTInG InTO TEARS – AT 18 HE WAS THE DUTCH MEDIA’S DARLInG

56 February 2018 FourFourTwo.com

AJAX
In THE 90S

repertoire. In listening to his players, he created an environment which
encouraged innovation and creativity.

Their first season together was one of transition, as holders Ajax were
knocked out in the UEFA Cup quarter-finals by Auxerre and then came
third in the Eredivisie. But they did at least end the 1992-93 campaign
by lifting the KNVB Cup, hammering Heerenveen 6-2 in the final. The
following year they won their first league title in three years, but it was
in 1994-95 that Van Gaal’s work really came to fruition with the smart
acquisitions of Nwankwo Kanu and Finidi George proving to be the last
pieces in his puzzle. In the league, Ajax were unbeatable, retaining the
title with a record of 27 wins, seven draws and no losses. They scored
an incredible 106 goals at an average of 3.12 per game.

In Europe, it soon became clear they were ready to disrupt the status With their dominance growing, Van Gaal – perhaps influenced by his Above “His foot was this
quo. Holders Milan were beaten twice in the Champions League group knowledge of Lidwina’s premonition – introduced Kluivert for Litmanen high!” Van Gaal protests
stage, 2-0 in Amsterdam and 2-0 at the San Siro a couple of months after 70 minutes. It was quite possibly the best decision of his career. to the fourth official over
on. After the first contest, the youngsters queued up outside the Milan Fifteen minutes later, a flowing passing move saw Overmars pick the a tasty tackle in the final
changing room to swap shirts with their heroes, but after the second ball up on the left wing and feed Rijkaard on the edge of the penalty
there had been a mindset shift. “It’s quite embarrassing when I think area. His pass found Kluivert, who slipped past Baresi with one touch
about it now,” says Ronald de Boer. “Ruud Gullit gave us access to the and stabbed the ball past Sebastiano Rossi with his second. Ajax were
away dressing room and we were like little kids when we met up with champions of Europe for the first time since 1973.
the players after – but after the second match, we didn’t ask them for
their shirts!” It was an astonishing accomplishment, turning most members of
the team into household names. Upon their return to the Amsterdam,
For Frank de Boer, it was the moment when he and his team-mates Kluivert was filmed greeting his mum at the airport and bursting into
began to believe. “Something happened at the start of that season,” tears – at 18 he was the darling of the Dutch media. However, in the
he has previously told FFT. “There was an incredible chemistry between days that followed, Van Gaal was consumed by a sense of deja vu as
the youngsters and more experienced players. Everything just felt right Europe’s biggest clubs started to circle his leading lights. Of particular
inside the team. There was a solid core of roughly a dozen players who interest was Litmanen, but after he committed his future to Ajax the
could be in the first XI, and this core was then supplemented by three rest of their new generation (with the exception of Seedorf, who opted
or four substitutes who accepted they weren’t in the starting line-up. to sign for Sampdoria) followed his lead, as they recognised they had
I remember after we beat Milan, we all realised we didn’t need to fear an opportunity to dominate Europe for years to come.
anyone any more.”
They ought to have done so, but behind the scenes things were slowly
Another advantage was the number of players comfortable playing unravelling. Four months after that famous night, Kluivert was found
in multiple positions. Davids – nicknamed ‘Pitbull’ by Van Gaal thanks guilty of causing a fatal car crash, souring his image and causing him
to his tenacity – was the perfect fit for his fluid system. to suffer from depression as he battled his guilt. Finidi George also had
to contend with personal problems after his brother was shot dead in
“I started as a left-winger and second striker – a No.10,” Davids once Nigeria. Results papered over the cracks, as Ajax added the European
told FFT. “It was Van Gaal’s idea to move my position. Marc Overmars Super Cup to their growing list of honours.
began playing out on the left and was really good, but he felt I had the
qualities to play in central midfield. On the left wing I felt isolated, but The decision to make a mid-season trek to Tokyo to compete in the
in the middle I was more part of the game.” Intercontinental Cup – largely to satisfy commercial demands – was
another source of unrest, and was blamed for a serious injury suffered
After romping through the group stage unbeaten, Hajduk Split and by Overmars against Gremio. Still, that didn’t stop Ajax from winning
Bayern Munich were hammered 3-0 and 5-2 in the quarter-finals and the trophy and romping to another league title. In Europe, Van Gaal’s
semi-finals respectively. Those victories set up a third encounter with players were applauded off the pitch by Real Madrid fans after beating
Milan in the Vienna showpiece, much to the delight of Van Gaal, who’d Los Blancos 2-0 at the Bernabeu in the group. After overcoming both
feared a clash against Paris Saint-Germain. “Milan play as Ajax play,” Borussia Dortmund and Panathinaikos, Ajax reached the Champions
he commented. “They want to win the game, but PSG hang back and League final for the second consecutive season. Football immortality
are primarily interested in avoiding defeat.” The finalists had the same was in sight, but their efforts over the previous three years appeared
ambitions, but the players from the two teams could not have looked to catch up with them on the night. Ajax produced their worst display
more different as they arrived at Vienna Airport within minutes of each in almost two terms as they lost to Juventus on penalties after a 1-1
other the night before the game. Ajax’s bashful youngsters looked on draw in Rome.
as Milan’s stars strolled through the arrivals lounge with their array of
stunning girlfriends. Their bubble had burst, and the Bosman ruling – introduced in 1995
and allowing players to leave for nothing at the end of their contract
Fabio Capello had also hatched a cunning plan to catch their Dutch – eventually reduced Ajax’s house to rubble. Both Davids and Reiziger
foes by surprise. Marcel Desailly, operating in a holding midfield role announced they were to join Milan on free transfers at the conclusion
in a diamond formation, was tasked with man-marking Jari Litmanen. of their contracts, while George and Kanu were sold to Real Betis and
Striker Daniele Massaro was handed the task of stopping Frank de Boer Inter respectively. Kluivert moved to Barcelona for nothing a year later
from spraying his forward passes into midfield and forcing him to feed at the end of a dreadful 1996-97 campaign, when Ajax came fourth in
right-back Michael Reiziger, who was then pressed in possession. For the Eredivisie to finish the season trophyless. The glory days were over
the first 45 minutes the ploy worked to perfection as Van Gaal’s men and a dispirited Van Gaal turned the lights out on a glorious era when
struggled to keep the ball in an untidy contest. he announced his decision to become Barça manager. The Class of ’95
had been consigned to the history books.
At half-time, Rijkaard had the first word. “I want the ball to be played
around faster and a number of you need to play better in possession,” Gone, but certainly not forgotten.
he said. A heated debate soon followed between Danny Blind, Clarence
Seedorf and Ronald de Boer. Van Gaal happily let them go at it before
making a key tactical tweak, which saw Rijkaard drop back five yards
to give him more space to play key passes.

The tide began to turn in Ajax’s favour. Eight minutes after the break,
Kanu was introduced in place of Seedorf, with his pace forcing Franco
Baresi and Milan’s defence to retreat to the edge of their 18-yard box.

FourFourTwo.com February 2018 57



BETWEEn
THE LInES

I’D LISTEn TO A WORLD CUP MATCH,

THE GOALIE

WOULD GO UP

AnD THE COMMEnTATOR WOULD SAY

‘HE’S DOInG A

JIMMY GLASS’

The Carlisle keeper’s 94th-minute winner to keep the club in the Football League is the stuff of legend –
but he ended up driving a taxi. Now back in the game at Bournemouth, he tells FFT about that crazy day

Interview Chris Flanagan Illustration Paul Lacolley

BETWEEn He said: “No, in the league – they’re second from bottom.” I asked him
THE LInES which league. “The Third Division,” he replied. Swindon were in the First
Division, but my career had been faltering. Having done quite well for
t was my first day at Carlisle United Bournemouth, I went to Swindon thinking I was going to play. When
and I was jogging round a pitch with I didn’t, it was a big shock. If I’m honest, I had an indifferent career –
a young keeper called Paul Heritage. I played in the FA Youth Cup final for Crystal Palace, against the Class
“We’ve been crap all season – if we go of ’92, but then I had injuries. In my previous two games for Swindon
down, it won’t be your fault, and if we in the 1998-99 season, we’d conceded 10: four against QPR and then
stay up, you could be a hero,” he told six against Ipswich, when I turned my ankle and had to hobble around
me. “What if I got the winning goal?” for 80 minutes because we had no goalie on the bench.
I said, tongue in cheek. Three weeks
later, it happened. Carlisle had sold their keeper, Tony Caig, on deadline day and then
When I agreed to sign for Carlisle on signed Richard Knight on loan, only for Derby to recall him with three
loan from Swindon, I didn’t even think games left. So they were given special permission to bring in another
about where they were in the league. keeper. I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t get on with Swindon manager Jimmy
I phoned my dad to tell him about the Quinn and I wanted to play. We drew the first two games I played for
move, but 30 seconds later he called Carlisle – I was man of the match in a 0-0 draw at Hartlepool against
me back. He’d put Ceefax on and said, Peter Beardsley, playing one of the last games of his career.
“You do realise where they are, don’t
you?” I said, “Yeah, they’re up north.” But in the midweek before the final match, Scarborough won their
game in hand to go above us. Only one side went down to non-league
and Carlisle were now bottom for the first time all season. They were
a sleeping giant – they’d been in the First Division during the ’70s – but
there was a despondency. No one would say it, but everyone thought
Carlisle were virtually down. They’d been in the Football League for 71
years so dropping into non-league would have been massive. Michael
Knighton owned the club and was hated by the supporters. He asked
for a police escort to help him get to the last game against Plymouth,
but the police refused it.

The day before the match, we played five-a-side in training. I played
outfield and scored a hat-trick. For a long time during my youth career,
I was torn: I never knew if I was a better forward or goalkeeper. At 16
I’d be running around upfront in training next to Ian Wright and Mark
Bright at Palace, with Steve Coppell cheering me on. Sometimes I think

BETWEEn
THE LInES

maybe I made the wrong decision by becoming a keeper – whenever

I played outfield, I had this habit of being able to sniff out a goal. Even

when I had my gloves on, I was always looking to score goals – I’d be

pinging free-kicks and trying to catch the keeper off his line. I went up

for a couple of corners when I was playing for Bournemouth but never

got anywhere near them – my manager would be swearing at me and

telling me to get back. ...

The players were nervous in the dressing room ahead of the Plymouth “I GOT POLE-AXED. ALL THE BOYS JUMPED
game. Nigel Pearson was in his first job in management and started to On ME AnD 50, 60, 100 FAnS PILED On TOP
hand around a bottle of brandy. The players were taking a swig from it OF US. WE GEnUInELY COULDn’T BREATHE”
– unbelievable when you look back now, but the manager was trying
to settle everyone down. Left Glass wheels away in I didn’t really see footage from the Scarborough match until a few
delight after his dramatic days afterwards – the clips of their fans on the pitch, devastated about
It was 0-0 at half time, but our game got delayed due to Paul Gibbs strike keeps Carlisle up and their relegation. Even then, I didn’t really take it on board. It was only
breaking his leg for Plymouth. Scarborough were drawing at home to sends Scarborough down later I started to realise the effect I’d had on another club. Relegation
Peterborough: we had to win to stay up. Soon into the second half, we to the Conference Above essentially pushed them out of business five or six years later. You do
went 1-0 down. There was real dismay around the ground and people Owner Michael Knighton
were thinking: ‘We’ve struggled to score all season, so the chances of gives United’s hero a hug . . .feel guilty. It’s the fans that suffer.
getting two are slim’.
Two days after my goal, Jimmy Quinn told me I could leave Swindon.
But David Brightwell scored from 25 yards just after the hour, which And the day after that, I split up with my girlfriend of 18 months. I was
gave people hope. The guy on the Tannoy tried to get the crowd going slightly unstable at that point. We were coming to the end of our time
– shouting things he probably shouldn’t have been – but it didn’t look together and it all got a bit too much for me. She had been moaning
like we were going to get a winner. about something and I just said, “That’s it, I’ve had enough”, and got
in my car.
It all came down to the last 10 seconds in the fourth minute of injury
time. I lumped a ball forward and it went out for a corner. I looked to I was driving back to London, where my family lived, but the phone
the manager and he waved me up. I was galloping up the pitch trying wouldn’t stop ringing with more journalists. I got to London and kept
to get there in time – you look like a right plonker if you get there and driving. At Dover, I got on the ferry to Calais, but Calais was a s**thole
the corner’s already been taken. Scott Dobie managed to get a header so I didn’t want to stay there. It was either turn right to Spain, which
on target and the goalkeeper parried it straight out. I’d headed for the
six-yard box, knowing that whenever I dropped the ball as a keeper, it
usually fell to someone who’d toe it over the line. As I arrived into the
six-yard box, I was the only one in there. The ball fell to me perfectly.
I blasted it in.

The first thought that flashed through my head wasn’t, “I’ve scored
and saved Carlisle”, or “I’m a goalkeeper and I’ve just scored”. It was
just, “I’ve scored” – the same as when I scored in a park on a Sunday
morning. My hand went up in the air, the classic celebration, then I got
pole-axed. The boys jumped on me, David Brightwell pulled me to the
ground and 50, 60, 100 fans piled on top of us. We genuinely couldn’t
breathe. We were shouting, “Get off! Get off!” Someone even jumped
on the ref, too.

There were thousands of fans on the pitch, I was getting grabbed by
people as I ran back towards my goal, and my nose was pissing blood
– I think I must have got kneed in the face as I was on the floor. I got
to my goal and thought, ‘Where’s my towel?’ Someone had nicked it!

The referee blew for full-time as soon as Plymouth kicked off again.
I ran across the pitch with my arms outstretched, and everyone was
clawing at me. Someone shouted, “Lift him up! Lift him up!” Suddenly
I was surfing a sea of thousands of people, and they all carried me off
the pitch.

When I got back to the dressing room, I phoned my mum. I was 25
and I’d turned into a giddy schoolboy. I said, “Mum, I’ve just scored!”
She said, “I know, I’ve been watching the TV!” Michael Knighton spoke
to me and said, “If that ain’t entertainment, I’m a banana!”

We went to a nightclub that night and when I opened the doors, the
whole place erupted. People were cuddling me, kissing me... and that
was just the blokes!

I drove back to Swindon the next day and I kept hearing snippets on
all of the local radio stations. I thought, ‘Are they talking about me?’
I didn’t know how football had reacted to that goal, that they’d talked
about me on Match of the Day on Saturday night.

I got to Swindon halfway through their last game of the season, and
as I went in the stand, the photographers taking pictures of the game
turned round and started photographing me instead. I thought, ‘This
is weird’. I was invited over to Sky’s studios in London, and then I got
a phone call from the Daily Mirror. I went there and met Piers Morgan
– they had some crazy ideas and wanted to make a double page with
me as a kind of ‘Magical Man’, doing silly things like getting Mohamed
Al-Fayed his British passport. It was surreal.

FourFourTwo.com February 2018 61

BETWEEn
THE LInES

seemed like a long way, or turn left and go to Belgium. I checked into Bottom Glass got mobbed less desirable. I signed for Oxford United in 2000 as cover but it wasn’t
a hotel in Brussels for two or three days, went to the cinema, went for by his Carlisle team-mates going well. I woke up one day and realised it wasn’t for me any more.
a couple of meals, then came back. As soon as I got back to England, before pitch-invading fans I phoned the manager and said, “I’m not coming in.”
I turned my phone on and had so many messages. piled on the gloveman and
left him with a bloody nose Should I have given up? Probably not. I was 27. But there are only so
It was a crazy time. I was quite immature and as exciting as it was, many hits you can take in life – and as much as that Carlisle goal was
my career had not been going that well and I had gambling debts of a phenomenal moment, it wasn’t enough to keep me afloat mentally.
about £25,000. I had so many different emotions going on. Football is a harsh world and if you’re not mentally strong, it can leave
you broken.
Michael Knighton was under pressure to offer me a permanent deal
at Carlisle, but I don’t think he wanted to. Having said I could leave for I didn’t straighten myself out. I lost £100,000 gambling in two years
free, Swindon asked Carlisle for £20,000 and Knighton didn’t want to after leaving Swindon. Sometimes I would spend 14 hours in a casino.
pay my wages – although in some ways it was a good thing as I didn’t I’d go in when it opened and was kicked out when it shut.
go back. Had I gone back and not done so well, maybe I wouldn’t have
been remembered by the fans in the way I am. I got to the point where I decided that football just seemed so unfair.
I thought: ‘The real world can’t be unfair, it must be more logical. You
I went straight back to being a backup keeper at Swindon – playing see all these people in business making money’. So I said, “That’s it”,
reserve games with the cameras watching me because I was still big got a job in IT and played Sunday League. I was upfront and loved it
news. Every time there was a corner, the fans would shout, “Come on – I scored six goals for two games running, one from the kick-off after
Jimmy!” It turned into a bit of a circus, and when you’re struggling in
your head already – because I wasn’t the most confident of people and
now you’ve got this added thing to deal with as well – it was a strange
period for me.

I played for Swindon at Bolton. It was 0-0 and I’d made save after
save, but we got to the 89th minute and I let in a soft goal. I walked
into the dressing room afterwards and said, “Sorry fellas”. But Jimmy
Quinn went to town on me. At that point I’d had enough of the bloke,
so I told him what I thought of him – then he went out to talk to the
newspapers and crucified me. That was my career with Swindon done.
I still had a year and a half left on my contract, but Roy McFarland at
Cambridge United wanted me so I said to Swindon, “Give me £25,000
and I’ll tear up my contract.” I left and we
Roy said, “I’ve just got to offload this keepe
a Dutch fella, Arjan van Heusden.

The day Swindon were supposed to pay
into administration. Suddenly I had no mon
offload the keeper so they couldn’t sign m
on trial at Exeter City – I’m driving into the c
Dutch keeper, the one from Cambridge. I s
said, “Yeah”, and I got back in the car!

I went to train at Crystal Palace, too – the
goal so they didn’t need me, so I signed fo
I was on the bench there and Fraser Digby
days later, so I would have got games for P
I went, it went wrong. It was so frustrating
time for me. Although I wasn’t the most c
in the world, I knew I was a good goalie.

You’d have thought the Carlisle winner m
springboarded me to a better career, but it
opposite effect. It became an albatross – E
football wasn’t ready for goalscoring keep
I thought the goal would have made me
desirable to managers, but it possibly mad

BETWEEn
THE LInES

“YOU GO FROM SCORInG A GOAL AnD BEInG the goalie who scored for Carlisle.” He knew who I was. Moments like
FAMOUS, TO DRIVInG A TAXI AT 4AM AnD that were enjoyable, when people like Gazza knew me. It was strange
CHASInG A ‘RUnnER’ AROUnD A CAR PARK” though: I’d be listening to a World Cup match – Brazil vs Colombia or
something. The keeper would go up and the commentators would say,
about three seconds. All these poor blokes were turning out for a nice Top Carlisle’s players drink “He’s doing a Jimmy Glass” – while I’m sat at a taxi rank in Wimborne.
easy game and there was me, charging around like a lunatic, slapping to survival thanks to Glass,
in goals like some goal-hungry 15-year-old. but the iconic goal wasn’t I was a footballer for 13 years, and even though I was driving a taxi
a springboard for a better for a long time, I still saw myself as a footballer. But the closer I got to
But I didn’t enjoy sitting at a desk all day long. I’d scored this goal for career. It was an albatross 13 years as a taxi driver, I thought: ‘If I’m a taxi driver for longer than
Carlisle that was famous and I couldn’t work out why, only a few years I was a footballer, does that mean I’m a taxi driver?’ That was when
later, I was working in IT. Rodney Marsh helped to put it in perspective the opportunity presented itself with Bournemouth a couple of years
for me. He’d been my agent for a little while and I remember asking ago – as player liaison officer under Eddie Howe, a former team-mate
him once, “Am I a legend?” He told me, “No, you’re not a legend, but at Dean Court.
your goal is legendary.”
Some of Bournemouth’s players knew who I was, but although the
I quit my job in IT and went back into non-league for a short period. others knew I’d been a player, they didn’t know much about me. We
I was earning the same as in IT and thought I’d get a taxi, do a bit of do a thing at Bournemouth where you talk about the best moment of
work in the week and earn some more money. But I felt the pressure your life, and it was my turn in the hotel before we played Manchester
in non-league: everyone thought I was still a professional goalkeeper United at Old Trafford last season. I told the boys the story of my goal.
and expected me to be perfect. I wasn’t going to be, because I wasn’t Some of them were really amazed.
training like I was before.
We’d lost four league games in a row but we drew 1-1, even though
It took me a very long time to come to terms with it all. You go from we were down to 10 men for the entire second half. Our goalie, Artur
scoring a goal and being famous, all the way down to driving a taxi at Boruc, had a phenomenal game and I got excited, so I went onto the
4am, £2.50 a fare, chasing a ‘runner’ around a supermarket car park. pitch at the end to give him a big hug. He looked at me and said: “You
I struggled, wondering how I was going to pay my next bill. inspired me last night. I wanted to score!” That was a nice moment –
I don’t get involved in the coaching, but things I’ve experienced in my
I’d never really divulge too much to my passengers about who I was, life can benefit players.
but one day I picked up Gazza in my taxi. I’d never met him but he’d
been at the dentist’s and, poor old Gazza, he’d just had two implants After having no interest in football for years, I’ve reconciled with the
so he wasn’t talking that well. I said to him, “Gazza, I’m Jimmy Glass, game now. And no matter how bad it got, I never wished the Carlisle
goal hadn’t happened. You could never take it away from me and the
glory that came with it. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen it back
over the years. Sometimes I’ve watched it because someone sent me
a link – other times, during my time as a taxi driver, I watched it again
to remember I was a footballer once. I still feel something every time
I watch it – the emotion and pure excitement is still there.

It doesn’t surprise me that my goal’s lived on, as sometimes things
like that can happen in football – moments like Ronnie Radford’s goal
for Hereford or the Russian linesman in 1966. It wasn’t my goal, it was
football’s goal. I just happened to be in the middle of it.

Now I’m back in football, I get to enjoy the goal even more because
I can enjoy football again. The game didn’t give me a phenomenally
long career or a lot of money, and maybe I didn’t really deserve that.
But I loved playing, and football gave me my moment – a moment as
a goalscoring goalkeeper. I had a career that you don’t forget, and in
some ways that’s just as valuable. Every time the goal is played, I still
feel proud.

FourFourTwo.com February 2018 63

Words Andrew Murray MAnAGERS
AS PLAYERS

THE MAKING OF THE

SUPER GAFFERS

From Barcelona’s Johan Cruyff disciple to a tortured Juve star, a German journeyman and
a La Liga enforcer, FFT looks back at the playing careers of four top Premier League bosses

PEP GUARDIOLA

At 7pm on Sunday April 30, 1989, a ‘drunk’ 18-year-old went into
a disco on Gran Via Carles III, a tree-lined street north-west of
downtown Barcelona. He’d not touched a drop of alcohol, but two
things intoxicated the gangly teenager.

First was Barcelona’s 7-1 demolition of Real Oviedo he’d watched
that afternoon, a stone’s throw away at the Camp Nou. Second was
the brunette at the bar.

“As soon as the slow songs started, I would ask her for a dance,”
the youngster later recalled. “Then someone from La Masia came to
tell me that I had to travel to Banyoles with the first team. I could no
longer dance with the brunette. I now had my mind on other things.”

The next day, with many regulars rested ahead of the Cup Winners’
Cup final against Sampdoria a little over a week later, he lasted until
half-time of a 6-2 friendly victory. But manager Johan Cruyff was not
impressed. “You played slower than my grandmother,” was the Dutch
legend’s verdict. Pep Guardiola thought his Barcelona career was over
before it had even begun.

“I later learned Johan used that phrase as part of his motivational
strategy with everyone,” he explained in La Meva Gent, el Meu Futbol
(My People, My Football), his 2001 autobiography. “Cruyff used to pour
water on the fire when you were hot, and praise you when the press
were against you. If the same journalists dedicated successive reports
about you, Johan used to strangle you until you choked.”

A year after that inauspicious start, in the summer of 1990, Cruyff
needed a midfielder to replace the departing Luis Milla, someone to
direct play from deep. He dropped in on the B team keen to see Pep,
about whom scout Oriol Tort had claimed: “I’ve found someone who
plays like the gods.” He didn’t make it off the bench.

“He didn’t even warm up,” he shouted at the coach, Charly Rexach.
“Why not, if he’s the best?”

Cruyff was told that Pep, though luxuriously skilled with supreme
vision, wasn’t particularly strong or dynamic. “A good player doesn’t
need a strong physique,” huffed Cruyff, who immediately promoted
Guardiola into his first-team squad.

In session after session, the pair worked on using as few touches
as possible until the manager had the pivote he desired. “Two feet,
you’ve got two f**king feet!” Cruyff frequently shouted.

“Those sessions were hard,” Guardiola said. “Cruyff used to ask me
what I was doing there, because I was doing things so badly. But the
explanation is simple. When you are older, it’s almost impossible to
improve any detail, no matter how small. Luckily, that hasn’t been my
case. I learned from very young under Cruyff. Constantly.”

64 February 2018 FourFourTwo.com

MAnAGERS
AS PLAYERS

“CRUYFF USED TO POUR WATER
On THE FIRE WHEn YOU WERE
HOT, AnD PRAISE YOU WHEn
THE PRESS WERE AGAInST YOU”

MAnAGERS
AS PLAYERS

Gradually, that skinny kid became the key piece of Cruyff’s Dream
Team, who won four La Liga titles on the spin and the 1992 European
Cup (Barça’s first) at the old Wembley.

“Guardiola could control the ball quickly and pass it quickly,” Cruyff
revealed. “He could deliver the ball in good condition so that another
player could do something with it.”

Only 21, so nervous was Guardiola, a keen football student, he had
spent much of the day before the Wembley final arguing with striker
Julio Salinas over how many steps up there were to receive the cup.
“How about,” snapped keeper Andoni Zubizarreta, “we win the thing
first, then we can count the steps?”

When Ronald Koeman’s extra-time free-kick secured a 1-0 victory
against Sampdoria, Zubizarreta stopped in front of Guardiola at the
top of the Wembley stairs before going to lift the trophy. “There are
33, you know,” winked the vice-captain. “I just counted.”

Further success followed only two months later at the Barcelona
Olympics, but it was the 1994 Champions League Final against Milan
in Athens that was to prove most instructive. “Go out there and enjoy
yourselves,” Cruyff had told his team a couple of years earlier against
Sampdoria – but now the Dutchman’s message was different: turn
up, and you win.

Fabio Capello’s Rossoneri won 4-0. “Their superiority was so great,”
Guardiola conceded, “I just wanted it to be over.” That balmy night
in Greece is entrenched in Guardiola’s psyche.

“I’ve no doubt Pep thinks about Milan before any game he expects
to win as a coach,” Eusebio Sacristan, Guardiola’s then team-mate
and now Real Sociedad manager, tells FFT. “He knows what we were
missing in the 1994 final: hard work and respect for the opposition.”

Cruyff was sacked in 1996, although Pep continued as the on-pitch
lieutenant for first Bobby Robson, then Louis van Gaal. It was under
Guardiola, the embodiment of Catalan seny, or common sense, that
Barça recovered from a disastrous start to Robson’s only campaign to
bag the Copa del Rey, Cup Winners’ Cup and Spanish Super Cup.

“Robson made us see that you win more matches – and therefore
trophies – when the players and coach are all working in the same
direction,” Pep later wrote, an attit
when he stepped aside for skipper
Winners’ Cup, despite the Romania

Yet it was with Van Gaal that Gu
into tactical minutiae. “Of all the c
one with whom I most talked abo
he said. “Often we talk about tact
To submit yourself to the disciplin
a team. That’s what Van Gaal did.”

He soon became captain, aged 2
pros like Miguel Angel Nadal and G
“You’re the only one I can speak t
Van Gaal told Guardiola. “You’re m

By the end of the decade, mana
to edge captain towards the exit, w
generation well on the way. Xavi h
become a first-team regular by 19
Pep spent nearly 18 months out b
a persistent calf injury.

“Guardiola was my reference,” Xa
FFT. “My coaches always told me t
at him. One or two touch, all of th
Bakero, Koeman and Stoichkov, to
Guardiola was in my position.”

In 2001, Guardiola departed for
in Serie A with 16 major honours.
club of his heart six years later – a
under 4-2-3-1 inventor Juanma Li
coach, to restore the style he so a

“I’ll watch the match from my
84,533, but when I see that Barç
imprint left by Cruyff, I’ll stop,” he w
them play the same way in which

Manchester City fans are very gl

66 February 2018 FourFourTwo.c

MAnAGERS
AS PLAYERS

ANTONIO CONTE workaholism and tactical nous, holding him up as an example to the
squad. Yet for the first, but not last time, Conte realised his technical
It was a strange way to sum up a truly remarkable career. When ability was just a degree or two below the mark. Of Italy’s famously
Antonio Conte hung up his Bianconero shirt in 2004, he nodded to heartrending campaign, he started only the quarter-final tie against
his 1996 Champions League triumph and namechecked a few club Spain and had to come off after 66 minutes, suffering in 90 per cent
figureheads. Then he recounted the finals he’d lost, the injuries he’d humidity and from an unusual attack of nerves.
suffered and his disappointments with the Italy national team, before
thanking the club doctor. In 1994 Juve appointed Marcello Lippi, a less ardent Conte fan than
Trapattoni. That season witnessed a UEFA Cup final defeat – but also
Through the mists of time, you might recall Conte as the bedrock of Conte’s first scudetto and a Coppa Italia. Fate was merely feeding him
the glamorous 1990s Juventus featuring Roberto Baggio, Alessandro a few tasty morsels, however, before pulling the rug from underneath.
Del Piero, Gianluca Vialli, Zinedine Zidane et al. But the reality of his 13
seasons in Turin is more of a horror movie, complete with gore. Conte was not even allowed to enjoy what remains the high point of
his playing career: the 1996 Champions League Final triumph against
“He’s suffered so much on his footballing journey but he’s never lost Ajax. Just before half-time, Edgar Davids’ granite pelvis bludgeoned
heart,” said his mother Ada in 2000. Maybe there was a smidge of the into Conte’s thigh. It ruptured a blood vessel, which began pumping
worshipful Italian mamma in her portrait, but even La Gazzetta dello out into the muscle. Conte retired to the bench, thinking it was merely
Sport once canonised Conte as Sant’Antonio, after the saint who was a knock. As the final whistle sounded, he leapt up in jubilation and was
famous for miracles. skewered with pain – the worst he had ever felt.

Conte had broken his tibia as a 17-year-old with his hometown club, When Juve’s plane landed back in Turin that night his team-mates
Lecce, yet at 22, in November 1991, he sealed his prize switch to Juve. headed out to party, while Conte can’t even remember which hospital
He then topped off his first season with a red card near the end of the he was taken to. Too much blood had pooled to extract with a syringe.
1992 Coppa Italia Final second leg, as the Old Lady chased a one-goal He was bedbound for days. One night he attempted to get up to go
aggregate deficit to Parma. to the bathroom, prompting another setback and lots of leisure time
to watch the Euros he now wouldn’t be playing in.
His response would have made Ada proud, and won the approval of
Giovanni Trapattoni, who has called Conte one of his godsons. Conte But Conte clawed his way back and joined new signing Zidane for
kept up his fitness levels and returned with such focus that he became pre-season. Playing blithely through several lingering symptoms, he
an increasingly necessary regular. Trap looks back on him as “flexible earned a call-up for a pair of World Cup qualifiers in October. Against
and intelligent. A force of nature both defensively and going forward”. Georgia in Perugia, with nary an opponent nearby, he planted his left
leg awkwardly.
That campaign brought a UEFA Cup win for Juve, and a first dose of
sideline sickness for Conte: he was suspended for the second leg of the This time he had done his anterior cruciate ligament. After a month
of physio failed, he underwent a reconstruction, only for an infection
1993 final as Juventus sealed a record 6-1 aggregate victory over to almost wreck the surgeon’s handiwork.
Borussia Dortmund. But his decision to watch it with the club’s
fans at the Stadio delle Alpi at least planted the The 1996-97 season whizzed by Conte’s window: Juve’s scudetto,
seed for what would be a recurring source European Super Cup and Intercontinental Cup triumphs, and another
of comfort in future years: his undying Champions League final. He gave up the captain’s armband that he’d
love of the Bianconero tifosi. just been awarded, plus the central midfield spot he had coveted and
By the of summer 1994 he had finally earned after years spent out wide.
earned a call-up to Italy’s World
Cup squad. Azzurri coach Arrigo Again, Conte’s misfortune acted like rocket fuel. When he scored in
Sacchi was a sucker for Antonio’s August 1997 against Lecce, he was too hysterical to think about the
wisdom of celebrating wildly against his hometown team, whose fans
THE REALITY OF COnTE’S 13 have had it in for him ever since. Against Brescia, Antonio even scored
a bicycle kick that Del Piero termed a “gol alla Van Basten”.
YEARS AT GLAMOROUS ’90S
But by the second half of the season he was stuttering, starting less
JUVE WAS MORE OF A HORROR often as Juventus won Serie A and on the bench as they lost to Real
Madrid in the Champions League final. By July, it was reported he was
MOVIE, COMPLETE WITH GORE joining Middlesbrough, then Marseille, then Blackburn.

He stuck around, which was useful for Juventus given his newfound Words Alison Ratcliffe
habit of scoring gol pesanti – ‘heavy goals’ or decisive strikes. “Only
he could have done a thing like that,” admitted Carlo Ancelotti after
one against Olympiacos that saved the club from Champions League
elimination. La Gazzetta likened Conte to Winston Wolfe, the ultimate
fixer in Pulp Fiction. Ancelotti, Conte’s football soulmate, succeeded
Lippi in February 1999 and called Antonio “fundamental, whether he
plays in the middle, on the left or the right”.

Conte continued to lurch from misfortune to disaster. He endured
Manchester United’s devastating 1999 Champions League semi-final
comeback, and scudetto woe the following season after a final-day
defeat at Perugia, in part thanks to his defensive error. He rounded off
the decade with an overhead kick in Italy’s Euro 2000 opener against
Turkey, before Gheorghe Hagi thudded into his ankle in the last eight,
ending his tournament.

Before he hung up his boots, Antonio still had time to lose two more
Coppa Italia finals and a Champions League final (in which he missed
a golden opportunity), get left out of Italy’s 2002 World Cup squad and
make a rancorous departure from his life’s club.

When he finally returned in May 2011 as an imperious coach, Conte
spoke about how his playing days had left him riddled with the fear of
defeat. “When someone reminds me that I’ve won so much, I always
reply, ‘I’ve lost so much’. It’s a way of thinking which always helps you
improve yourself.”

FourFourTwo.com February 2018 67

Words Uli Hesse MAnAGERS “I HAD FOURTH-DIVISIOn TALEnT
AS PLAYERS AnD A FIRST-DIVISIOn HEAD. THAT
RESULTED In THE SECOnD DIVISIOn”
JURGEN KLOPP

One of the biggest reasons so many people love Jurgen Klopp is
his self-deprecating humour. In 2008, when he became manager
of Borussia Dortmund, a reporter asked him why he’d never made
it to the Bundesliga as a player. Klopp replied: “I had fourth-division
talent and a first-division head. That resulted in the second division.”

He repeated the line four years later, after he’d led Dortmund to
a league title triumph, with a telling twist. He told a Berlin newspaper:
“I had fourth-division feet and a first-division head.” That same year,
when Mainz’s business manager Christian Heidel was honoured for
20 years’ service, Klopp remembered a match between Mainz and
Homburg in said second division. At one point, a Homburg player was
badly let down by his first touch. According to Klopp, Heidel quipped:
“Look, they have a Kloppo, too!”

Klopp wasn’t fishing for compliments, he was simply being honest.
According to Raphael Honigstein’s excellent new biography about the
Liverpool boss, Bring the Noise, Klopp would tell his BVB players they
were better footballers than he had ever been, saying: “I have never
played at your level, therefore I’ll never pretend to you that I know
everything – but I will always try to help you.”

Klopp made a club-record 325 appearances for Mainz in the lower
leagues, something you can’t achieve without at least some decent
attributes in your locker. As Klopp has hinted, his head – meaning his
attitude and his intelligence – was one of them. He also possessed
the unusual combination of aerial prowess and pace, which explains
why Klopp was most commonly used upfront until his late twenties
before drifting back in the latter years of his career.

Legend has it that a 19-year-old Klopp repeatedly left the lightning
Thomas Berthold – a future World Cup winner – in his wake during
a friendly between Klopp’s provincial team and Eintracht Frankfurt in
the summer of ’86. It earned him a move to the Bundesliga club, but
he never progressed beyond the reserves.

Still, it’s tempting to think his experiences on the pitch taught him
that you can overcome problems – and mask limitations – with pace.
He is certainly fond of fleet-footed players. When a journalist asked
him if his tactics had been “decoded” in his final campaign with BVB,
he sarcastically replied, “Can you decode pace?”

Klopp’s greatest day as a player was August 13, 1991, when Mainz
won 5-0 away at Erfurt. He scored four goals – another club record
that would not be equalled for more than 20 years. After that game,
coach Robert Jung predicted: “Next year, Klopp won’t be here.” The
player felt the same, telling Kicker magazine that he was hoping for
a transfer to the Bundesliga. But it never happened. Klopp stayed at
Mainz for the rest of his career, often fighting relegation.

First he was remade into a midfielder, then switched to defence. In
a way Klopp had come full circle, because even as a striker he’d worn
the No.4 shirt to honour his favourite player – Stuttgart centre-back
Karlheinz Forster. Klopp once explained his obsession with Forster by
saying: “I have always been interested in attitude more than talent
– his mentality was exceptional.” These lines could describe Klopp’s
own career, both as a player and a coach.

Another thing Klopp learned as a player – and would put to great
use as a manager – was the value of combining the correct attitude
with organisation and tactics. The man who taught him, and the club,
was Wolfgang Frank, who first became Mainz’s coach in 1995. Frank,
a devotee of Arrigo Sacchi, examined the player’s qualities and then
decided what he needed most was Klopp’s “head”. He made Klopp
the right-back in one of Germany’s first functioning systems based
on zonal marking, pressing and a flat-back four. In the homeland of
the sweeper, Frank’s 4-4-2 was revolutionary.

Using Frank’s innovative approach, Mainz excelled. In early 2001,
the club needed a new coach. Heidel was looking for someone who
would carry on in Frank’s tradition, who knew the system inside out.
He found him at right-back. Heidel asked Klopp to be player-manager.
The rest, as they say, is history.

68 February 2018 FourFourTwo.com

MAURICIO POCHETTINO HE LED A BACK-LInE WHICH SHUT OUT
A BARCA TEAM FROnTED BY 47-GOAL
Two men approach the door of farm labourer Hector Pochettino’s ROnALDO, AnD HELPED ESPAnYOL WIn
family home in Murphy, a nondescript town of barely 4,000 people A FIRST MAJOR HOnOUR In 60 YEARS
in the Santa Fe province. It’s 2am on a chilly morning in early 1985
Words Andrew Murray and Marcelo Bielsa and Jorge Griffa – in charge of scouting for Newell’s
Old Boys’ academy – have driven more than three hours in a battered
Fiat 147 to find Hector’s 13-year-old son, Mauricio.

They’re convinced the province contains some untapped gems for
the next generation of Newell’s. Though a defender, Pochettino Jr has
been scoring freely as a makeshift striker for his local club.

They knock at the door. A sleepy Hector answers. “Can we speak to
your son?” they excitedly ask, almost in unison.

Pochettino’s parents hurriedly wake up little Mauricio. “Look at him,
Jorge!” says Bielsa to Griffa. “He has the legs of a footballer.”

Seven years later and now the first-team manager, Bielsa gave his
protegé – who had graduated to the senior side as a strapping central
defender – some homework.

“For next Thursday, I’ll need your dossiers on San Lorenzo,” he told
the 20-year-old. “And remember: read three newspapers about their
last game, and whatever El Grafico publishes on Tuesday.”

The Newell’s stopper studied the strengths and weaknesses of San
Lorenzo, set-piece routines and how hard their forward Alberto Acosta
was to mark. Then, two days before the match, Pochettino presented
his findings – in front of the whole squad.

“It helped you find answers on the pitch,” Pochettino later recalled.
If anyone was destined to be a coach, it was Poch, and Bielsa knew
it. He was the latter’s most trusted on-field sidekick as the unfancied
Newell’s – underpinned by youth-team graduates and high-pressing
tactics – beat Boca Juniors to the Argentine title in 1991 and reached
the Copa Libertadores final the following year.
Pochettino joined Espanyol in 1994, the transfer fee initially funded
by local newspaper proprietor Jose Manuel Lara. “I’m grateful to Lara
for giving me the chance to play for a club as important as Espanyol,”
revealed Mauricio at his unveiling. “I’m strong, but I never dive in with
bad intentions.”
That comment proved to be prescient. In 10 campaigns across two
spells with Los Pericos, Pochettino picked up 13 red cards. Only eight
players have been sent off more in La Liga. But when not suspended,
Pochettino impressed. In 1996-97, the Argentine led a back-line which
shut out a Barcelona team fronted by 47-goal Ronaldo, and in 2000
Espanyol won the Copa del Rey – a first major honour in 60 years.
“Pochettino had great charisma in the dressing room,” his manager
Paco Flores later explained. “There was also a powerful communion
between players and fans. He saw the importance of that.”
He left for Paris Saint-Germain in January 2001, losing the Coupe de
France final in 2003 before spending six months at Bordeaux. At the
turn of the year, he took a big wage cut to return ‘home’ to Espanyol,
who were rock bottom of La Liga. They didn’t lose another game with
Pochettino at the heart of the defence.
Injuries and a bust-up with his coach Miguel Angel Lotina gradually
diminished Pochettino’s influence and he hung up his boots at the end
of the 2005-06 season, almost on a whim. However, within three years
he was back as boss, after coaching Espanyol’s women’s side.
Bielsa – who once yelled at Pochettino, “You’re a s**t of a defender!”
after he was voted La Liga’s best – couldn’t be prouder of having gone
to Murphy that early 1985 morning. “I have a profound admiration in
every aspect from footballing to personal,” said master of apprentice.
Pochettino came to English football partly to exorcise some demons.
He had fouled Michael Owen at the 2002 World Cup to help the Three
Lions seal a 1-0 victory against Argentina.
“There are some things that are so obvious, there’s no point talking
about them,” he sighed, always maintaining it wasn’t a penalty. “Take
Maradona’s Hand of God. Do you think Peter Shilton’s going to ask him
if it was handball? Everybody saw it. Owen knows it wasn’t a penalty.
There’s no point asking him about it.”

FOOTBALL
VHS VIDEOS

70 February 2018 FourFourTwo.com

FOOTBALL
VHS VIDEOS

Words Chris Flanagan, Andrew Murray, James Maw

Lavish yachts, a crooning
Venables and some very
dodgy jokes – we rewind
to the ’90s to review VHS
classics, recovered from
attics and car boot sales.
Errrr, anyone got a VCR...?

FOOTBALL
VHS VIDEOS

FAnTASY FOOTBALL FROLICS EMLYn HUGHES’ MY BEST AnD MARSH
FOOTBALL VIDEO GRAn COULD DO BETTER On STAGE AnD UnCUT
SYNOPSIS
SYNOPSIS Ex-pros reveal stories from their playing SYNOPSIS SYNOPSIS
An astronaut (who turns out to be Dave careers. Football’s funniest after-dinner Hughes presents World Cup bloopers – George Best and Rodney Marsh chat to
Beasant) goes to Baddiel and Skinner’s speakers have been assembled to “give he does the links from Wembley in his Garry Richardson with a live audience
flat and instructs them to create a time you the evening of a laugh-time”, it says shirt and jeans, while some other chap watching. Best is the better storyteller
capsule that comprises 14 Phoenix from on the box. Rating 18, of course... tells lame jokes over the clips. and turns it into a one-man stand-up
the Flames sketches. show by reeling off gags, most of them
WHO’S IN IT? WHO’S IN IT? pretty funny. He chugs on champagne
WHO’S IN IT? Kenneth Wolstenholme, Peter Osgood. Rene Higuita, Alan Hansen and Jurgen throughout, obviously.
George Best, Cyrille Regis. and Nobby Stiles, as well as Dave Bassett ‘Klinsman’ (as written on the box), plus
channelling his inner Bernard Manning rugby-tackling keeper Ramon Quiroga. WHO’S IN IT?
STRANGEST MOMENT by telling the kind of ‘gags’ you wouldn’t Special guests include Malcolm Allison,
Vinnie Jones sings his rendition of Louis get away with today. STRANGEST MOMENT Sam Hammam, John Virgo and Bobby
Armstrong’s What a Wonderful World... Hughes sports a Guinness moustache Davro. Wait, Bobby Davro?
STRANGEST MOMENT while holding an umbrella on Wembley
BEST LINE Tommy Docherty comically roaring at Way, as some other bloke douses him STRANGEST MOMENT
Celtic legend Tommy Gemmell is asked the beginning as he pretends to be the with a watering can. Nope, didn’t make George makes an ill-advised joke about
to recreate chasing Helmut Haller and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer lion. any sense to us either. Ghana and cannibalism.
then kicking him up in the air. “Scoring
in the European Cup final was one of the BEST LINE BEST LINE BEST LINE
greatest moments of my career, Haller Frank Worthington on failing a medical For football’s hardest men “it’s not the Richardson: “Were you surprised when
was one of the lowest,” he says. “But it with Liverpool, thwarting his hopes of winning but the taking someone apart the phone rang and Manchester United
was a lot funnier,” replies Skinner. replacing John Toshack. “If that move that counts.” wanted to sign you?”
had gone through, it could’ve been me Best: “I was very surprised – we didn’t
RATING managing in Spain and him stood here RATING have a telephone…”
making a c*** of himself.”
RATING
RATING

72 February 2018 FourFou wo.com

FOOTBALL
VHS VIDEOS

BIG ROn RYAn GIGGS SWInDOn TOWn
BITES BACK REVEALED SEASOn REVIEW
1993-94
SYNOPSIS SYNOPSIS
“Ron presents a collection Giggsy boards the Florida yacht Almost Heaven in ’96 SYNOPSIS
of the funniest moments to audition for a Rio recreation, 14 years after Duran The Wiltshire outfit’s only
in football. He takes a look Duran’s hit. A series of talking-head interviews follows, Premier League dalliance,
at own goals, bad misses, interspersed with shots of Manchester United’s starlet forever commemorated in
upsets, transfer errors and on holiday with his pals playing volleyball, riding a jet the form of a goal-haemorrhaging Shakespearean
commentator blunders.” Hang on. Commentator ski, fishing, cooking a barbecue, going on a night out tragedy. For never was a story of more woe, than
blunders, you say? to a can-can bar, visiting Disneyworld, having a game this one of the Robins and a defence that leaked
WHO’S IN IT? of football with Mickey Mouse and Goofy, and nearly 100 times in a single season.
Ron Atkinson, Dave Bassett, Andy Gray, Barry Fry buying a car. WHO’S IN IT?
and Terry Venables – proper football men, so we Gaffer John Gorman, Jan Aage Fjortoft, Luc Nijholt,
are told. WHO’S IN IT? Nicky Summerbee, Andy Mutch, Adrian Whitbread,
STRANGEST MOMENT Ryan Giggs, yacht captain Fred Allen, business adviser Martin Ling, John Moncur and keeper Fraser Digby.
The sporadic and unexplained appearances of the Harry Swales MBE (whose moustache blends into both Lots of Fraser Digby.
‘comedian’ Stan Boardman – the worst of which his sideburns and his hair), mates Chris Lomas, Bernie STRANGEST MOMENT
sees him and Ron chuckle at their unquestionably Taylor and Stuart Grimshaw, United youth-team boss Ending with “a final look at a contest which proves
racist jokes about the names of Chinese players. Eric Harrison, Alex Ferguson, Berti Vogts, Bobby Gould, that on their day Swindon, had the skill to match
Oh, the mirth. fishing boat captain Richard Howard, and sports car any club”. Fjortoft nets after a scramble in a draw
BEST LINE salesman Greg Crist. with champions Man United.
Dave Bassett, bantering with Big Ron: “I remember BEST LINE
seeing you at a Toyota dealer and you said, ‘We’re STRANGEST MOMENT “It was a season jam-packed with goals,” teases
getting a Toyota Supra for Carlton Palmer.’ I said, Being photographed, glamour model-style, frolicking the voice-over, early doors. “But the problem was
‘That’ll be a good swap.’” on a Florida beach while wearing budgie smugglers. Swindon often conceded more than they scored.”
We’re only slightly ashamed to admit we laughed. “The Claudia Schiffer shot,” pants the photographer
at the young winger. “Looking good. Oh, wow!” RATING
RATING
BEST LINE VEnABLES
SCOTLAnD “He realises that a lot of the young girls chasing him On VEnABLES
THE BRAVE are doing it to promote themselves and they soon get
kicked into touch,” says Swales, shortly before Giggsy’s SYNOPSIS
SYNOPSIS ‘Gorgeous Gals’ graphic pops up on the screen. Ryan’s The cover points out that
Scotland beating England five: Helena Christensen, Princess Diana, Demi Moore this is “The official story
over and over again... for and the Hollywood royalty of Julie Christie and Lauren of Tottenham Hotspur’s
more than an hour. From Hutton. It seems that both tastes and attitudes have new chief executive” but
the Wembley Wizards to changed... what we get is Venables
1967’s world champion- narrating the life story of Venables, interspersed
beating heroes and beyond, a fresh-faced Dougie RATING with Venables’ best mates telling you how great
Donnelly presents from behind a tartan-covered Venables is.
table. Sack whoever forgot to bring the bagpipes. WHO’S IN IT?
WHO IS IN IT? Er, Terry Venables, plus George Graham, Eric Hall,
Snooker and Ski Sunday supremo Donnelly, plus Joe Kinnear – all your old favourites.
the legendary Tartan Army skipper John Greig and STRANGEST MOMENT
journalist John Blair, wearing a Scottish FA jumper. A full-length, full-blooded version of I’ve Got You
In case you hadn’t already worked out the video’s Under My Skin by Frank Sinatra, first recorded for
target audience... Spanish television during El Tel’s spell in charge
STRANGEST MOMENT of Barça. But the music magic doesn’t end there,
Why bother making a massive deal of filming in with the faux-sax backing track which runs from
Hampden Park’s Club Room if you can’t see owt? start to finish helping to bring a ‘film noir comes
Unless you’re lying, of course, and it was shot in to Dagenham’ vibe.
Barnsley after all… BEST LINE
BEST LINE “I would say a football stadium with no one in it
“The biggest upset since Bannockburn,” says the is a bit like a graveyard – except that would be an
plum-voiced British Pathe commentator, as the insult to some of the more exciting cemeteries in
managerless Scotland beat the Auld Enemy 3-1 London. It is not exactly spooky, but some of the
at Wembley in 1949. Nothing like a war reference memories still seem to be in the air.” How poetic.
to lighten the mood, eh?
RATING
RATING

FourFourTwo.com February 2018 73

FOOTBALL
VHS VIDEOS

ALISTAIR CHAMPIOnS: THE “REFEREE!”
MCGOWAn’S PRESEnTED BY
FOOTBALL CAPTAIn’S LOG PAUL GASCOIGnE
BACKCHAT
SYNOPSIS SYNOPSIS
SYNOPSIS “An intimate journey behind the scenes” that features Introducing “a hilarious
In-vogue impressionist Al “dressing-room team talks, the players at home and collection of goofs and
“presents a collection of footballing action, with United as you’ve never seen them before.” Or, if you’d gaffs by football referees
his outstanding impressions of those within the prefer, ‘Manchester United captain Steve Bruce larking from around the world.” The Geordie hero talks
game”. Icons from the game include Gary Lineker, about with a camcorder during the final weeks of the us through a succession of controversial calls
Kevin Keegan, Eric Cantona... and Victor Meldrew 1992-93 season, as his team march towards their first that several slow-motion replays prove to have
from One Foot in the Grave. league title in 26 years’. been incorrect. The best bit, though, is Gazza’s
WHO’S IN IT? laboured reading of a truly awful script. We’re
Alistair McGowan, Alistair McGowan and Alistair WHO’S IN IT? not overly convinced he got the gag about the
McGowan. Alex Ferguson, Paul Ince, Ryan Giggs and the famous International Monetary Fund...
STRANGEST MOMENT gonzo journalist Steve Bruce. WHO’S IN IT?
Impersonations of Geoffrey Boycott, Tim Henman, Paul Gascoigne, a faulty autocue.
and Prince Charles appearing in something called STRANGEST MOMENT STRANGEST MOMENT
Alistair McGowan’s Football Backchat, presumably Bruce, Ince and Peter Schmeichel playing along with The narration of Maradona’s Hand of God goal
because they were other famous voices McGowan a quiz on the car radio as the skipper drives the trio to against England at Mexico 86 in an accent akin
could actually mimic. a United match. Bafflingly, the first question is: “What to Speedy Gonzales. “This is hand I score goal
BEST LINE is the average age of a bride in Jamaica?” Even more with. Next time I use two hand.”
Paul Gascoigne telling Les Ferdinand (two terrific bafflingly, Ince suggests the answer could be 55. The BEST LINE
impressions) a rambling bedtime story featuring endearingly enthusiastic England midfielder then goes “We’ve all made mistakes, said the hedgehog
a one-armed man fighting a giant and a little old absolutely bonkers upon realising he’s only a year out climbing off a scrubbing brush. Even me.” This
lady dropping a big jar of pickled onions. You had when guessing Hollywood blockbuster King Kong was crude joke is followed by Gascoigne’s infamous
to be there. released in 1934. Even more puzzling is a segment in yellow card against West Germany at Italia 90
which a bored Lee Sharpe decides to spend an empty – the first clip of the whole video.
RATING Friday afternoon intentionally wasting the time of the
staff at various retail establishments, including a bed RATING
DAnnY BAKER’S shop and a musical instrument supplier. It’s a bit too
OWn GOALS Alan Partridge, quite frankly. WEST HAM
AnD GAFFS CHRISTMAS
BEST LINE VIDEO 1990
SYNOPSIS Bruce, upon walking in on Ryan Giggs and Paul Ince as
Arguably the beginning of they try to relax in an implausibly low-rent hotel room SYNOPSIS
a brand new genre. Danny in Coventry (and watching some Wildlife on One from This festive cheer from
takes a break from the Daz the comfort of their single beds): “Right, get onto the the Hammers contains
Doorstep Challenge to put on full England kit and bed. I’ve got a proposition for you and it’s on camera.” “interviews, goals and
narrate the first of his videos honouring football’s Crikey. funspots”. All the “thrills and spills” of the first
greatest crackpot moments – from Peter Devine’s half of the 1990-91 campaign, which would see
worst penalty of all time to Bobby Moore knocking RATING the Irons eventually return to the top tier.
out a referee (accidentally of course), then using WHO’S IN IT?
his victim’s whistle to halt play. Manager Billy Bonds, plus Alvin Martin, Jimmy
WHO’S IN IT? Quinn and Trevor Morley, who looked like Blur’s
Stuart Pearce, Hans Segers and ‘Razor’ Ruddock, Alex James, alarmingly.
as well as Peru’s crazy goalkeeper from the 1978 STRANGEST MOMENT
World Cup, Ramon Quiroga. Julian Dicks nonchalantly stroking a spot-kick
STRANGEST MOMENT against Watford into the bottom corner, rather
Gazza inexplicably sniffing a referee’s armpit. Not than belting it down the middle in expectation
once but twice. of the terrified keeper leaping out of its path, as
BEST LINE would later become his hallmark.
“One thing Neil Pointon doesn’t need at this point BEST LINE
is a lecture, especially from a goalkeeper with an To a prematurely impressive Alvin Martin: “Well
equally preposterous moustache.” Alvin, you’re usually a slow starter to a season,
but this season you went off like a bomb!”
RATING
RATING

74 February 2018 FourFourTwo.com

FOOTBALL
VHS VIDEOS

BAPTISM OF FIRE RICHARD LITTLEJOHn’S BATTLE FOR THE HOWAY 5-0
WE WOZ ROBBED PREMIERSHIP 1995-96
SYNOPSIS SYNOPSIS
Review of disastrous first half of Bolton SYNOPSIS SYNOPSIS Every kick of the Toon’s famous 5-0 win
Wanderers’ ’95-96 season, their maiden The Daily Mail’s Littlejohn bemoans “the Back when he was popular, Andy Gray over Manchester United in October ’96.
Premier League campaign. Bolton pick dirty tricks which have stolen England’s narrates highlights of the season when “Forget last season, forget the Charity
up only eight points: the film starts off soccer glory”. A raging Richard shouts, Fergie’s mind games caused Newcastle Shield – this was the game Newcastle
with flaming graphics over clips of Sasa “Remember we’re English, not foreign!” to implode. In hindsight, Kevin Keegan fans will remember for the rest of their
Curcic and Alan Stubbs playing football. as he dissects where it all went wrong doing an interview in front of a poster lives,” reads the back cover. “Revenge
Billed as “a video no Wanderers fan will for the Three Lions over years gone by. saying ‘Don’t Crack Under Pressure’ was has never been sweeter.”
want to miss”. Very Brexit. not the best idea.
WHO’S IN IT?
WHO’S IN IT? WHO’S IN IT? WHO’S IN IT? Peacock, Ginola, Ferdinand, Shearer and
All the stars like Fabian de Freitas, Mixu The guests include Peter Shilton, David Jason McAteer gets out of bed in his full Albert, among others.
Paatelainen and Richard Sneekes... the Seaman and Jan Tomaszewski, but not Liverpool kit, Ray Wilkins rules himself
latter pictured on the front cover during everyone seems to warm to Littlejohn. out of the running for the England job, STRANGEST MOMENT
a game against Everton in which he was Big Dunc goes to the slammer. Analyser Gray trying to make the most
sent off. STRANGEST MOMENT of the rather basic on-screen graphics.
Littlejohn conducts an ‘interview’ with STRANGEST MOMENT A seemingly random series of squiggly
STRANGEST MOMENT Antonio Rattin. “The Argentinians aren’t Supporter asks Eric Cantona to sign her lines suggests that Peter Beardsley will
Reporter approaches fan before match natural fighters,” Rattin says. “We saw knickers on his return from suspension. be pushing on from midfield, with Rob
at Manchester City, and asks what they that during the Falklands,” Dick snorts. “My boyfriend’s a City fan, so I’m going Lee coming inside, while Karel Poborsky
are eating. “Caribbean parrot.” to go home and annoy him,” she says. will apparently be heading off down the
BEST LINE shops at some point.
BEST LINE Terry Butcher: “I asked Diego Maradona BEST LINE
Journalist: “Was the Arsenal game the whether it was handball and he said it Keegan insists: “Talk of a press blackout BEST LINE
highlight so far?” was with his head. He was a lying little is not accurate, that will never happen Martin Tyler: “Here they are, looking for
John McGinlay: “It’s been the only one t**t really.” at Newcastle.” Give it a few years, Kev... number five... here’s Philippe Albeerrttt!
so far...” Ohhh, absolutely glorious!”
RATING RATING
RATING RATING

FourFourTwo.com February 2018 75

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nd we’ve hunted down a few of our
rem legends, scorers of iconic goals, a
a “Scottish bastard” and lived to tell

FourFourTwo.com February 2018 77

The Italian striker’s arrival at Middlesbrough in 1996 was a huge
surprise – and not just for the North East club’s giddy supporters...

Words Steve Brenner Joining Juventus in 1992 was incredible, but I knew of football, but in England I found it a lot more physical. Clockwise from above He
my place. When I first arrived, we had Roberto Baggio, I preferred playing in England – it was fast-paced and won the European Cup in
Paolo Di Canio, Gianluca Vialli and Pierluigi Casiraghi in the atmosphere was great. After the game, sometimes ’96 before Teesside move;
attack. Once, we were winning a cup game 4-0 and got we would go to the pub and have a beer with the fans. never short of aggression,
a free-kick. I wanted to take it but Baggio wasn’t having I loved it! as Leicester defender Mike
any of it. “It’s impossible, Fabrizio – the only person who People gave me funny looks when they spotted me Whitlow discovered; the
takes free-kicks at Juve is me,” he said. I looked at him on the treadmill at a local David Lloyd fitness club, Italian hit 16 goals in 33
and said: “OK Roberto, no problem, you’re the best.” It but that was where we had to go when I wanted to do Premier League matches
was a year before I tried to take another one! extra gym work. I believed in the club’s vision, but when for Boro; accompanied by
I played in the best Juventus team ever. The one that I arrived there things weren’t so great – we had to train his trademark celebration
won the Champions League against Ajax in 1996 is the in the park or at a nearby prison.
best in the club’s history, because Marcello Lippi came I didn’t see much of the nightlife in Middlesbrough, I loved my time there so much. If I could change one
in and changed everything – the attitude, the mentality but only because my wife and I had a young baby. We thing about my time with Middlesbrough, it would be to
and the training. Before that we’d worked mainly with had a nice house in Hutton Rudby, just down the street make sure they signed some top-class defenders when
the ball, but Lippi had us in the gym. That team would from Gordon McQueen. And yes, I did try parmo. we needed them!
match up to teams like Real Madrid or Barcelona today. I got on well with every player at Boro. Well, almost. By the time I returned to England with Derby County
We weren’t scared of anyone. I did have a disagreement with Neil Cox. He thought he in 2001 the Premier League was the best league in the
My first thought after scoring in the 1996 Champions should be playing every match, but he couldn’t play in world. It had become more professional, though it was
League Final in Rome was my family. I knew my dad the Premiership. The technical and tactical levels were a difficult time for me. Jim Smith had signed me, but he
was watching in the stands, going crazy with the rest of too high for him – he didn’t have enough quality. What left after a couple of months.
them. After the game it was like I was king of the world. happened between us was not important, though. It’s My aim now is to manage in the Premier League one
The party when we returned to Turin was crazy: music, OK if there are some problems between players, as long day. I’ve worked with the youth team at Juventus and
dancing and champagne. as you put your body on the line on the pitch. spent time in France managing Ajaccio. I’m determined
Being sold to Middlesbrough was a massive surprise. We should have turned up for the game at Blackburn to get a job in England and become a top manager, like
It was like Karim Benzema going to Watford! When in December 1996. There were a lot of people ill at the my good friend Antonio Conte.
Vialli left Juventus, I spoke to the owners and
they told me I would be captain, so I didn’t training ground, but to not play the
think for a second I would be leaving. Juve game was wrong and I couldn’t
wanted to do a deal with Boro, and soon believe it. It was so strange.
enough I was meeting with I knew it was a really bad
Bryan Robson. The Juve idea – everyone thought
fans couldn’t believe it it was crazy. There may
and nor could I. have been quite a few
I had the perfect start at rows in the squad but
Boro. Three goals on my the incompetence of
debut against Liverpool, and the club was worse.
I was already being compared with
Robbie Fowler and Alan Shearer. I was on a hot I only left Boro for Marseille in 1997
streak early on and it helped me to settle fast. In because I was so desperate to play
1996, Italian clubs specialised in a very tactical style at the World Cup the following
year. If it wasn’t for that, I think
I would have stayed at Boro, as

78 February 2018 FourFourT





The Mexico shot-stopper – renowned for his dazzling shirts and prowess as
a striker – still can’t believe FIFA banned goalkeepers from playing outfield

I designed all of my goalkeeper shirts with a friend I can remember the first goal I scored so clearly. We The first Nike advert I was part of was for the 1994
in Acapulco, and then we ordered them to be made. were losing 3-1, I scored and celebrated like crazy, but World Cup. There was Eric Cantona, Bebeto, Romario,
I wanted to do something a bit different but I am not suddenly I realised I was alone. My team-mates yelled Paolo Maldini, Tab Ramos and me, and they projected
a cartoonist, so I asked him to take some of my ideas at me, “We’re still losing!” but I didn’t care – I’d scored! us on walls. Then I took part in the Good vs Evil advert
and put them down on paper. Then the brands started I played in both positions after that. It was difficult to in the Colosseum. They were the first ever commercials
showing interest, I signed with Nike and we made them train for both. In an ideal world, I’d have liked to play as made like that, involving players from across the world.
with their brand designer. a goalkeeper in the first half of matches and a striker in It was amazing to be surrounded by so many stars, and
Colours were what I liked most. Shirts generally have the second half. Normally it was when we were losing to realise that they knew who I was, because I’d never
more colours now – perhaps that was all thanks to me. that they changed my position. I enjoyed it, and there’s played in Europe. It was special to share the experience
I was ahead of my time! I never dressed colourfully in no one else in history who’s done it. with them, with the Colosseum full of people chanting
normal life, though: sometimes I went to parties of my I was very short for a goalkeeper – only 5ft 9in. But our names.
friends’ children and they didn’t recognise me because playing as a striker helped me as a keeper, too, because I couldn’t move to a European club because the price
I wasn’t dressed like on the pitch! I knew what my opponents were going to do. It allowed that Mexican teams put on me was too high. Luckily,
I often played as a striker – as a child, a teenager I was always invited to the Rest of the World matches
and then for the first team at Pumas, because for me to be quick and reduce angles – the more you – it was incredible to be inside that dressing room. But
two years I was a full-time striker. Adolfo Rios rush out, the smaller the goal is for strikers. Some we all spoke different languages, so the manager didn’t
was the goalkeeper there so I asked to play coaches told me that I took too many risks, but it know how to communicate with us!
as a striker and started scoring goals. The worked really well for me. I never thought I’d have so many fans all around the
coach always told me that I shouldn’t I played 130 times for Mexico. Representing my world. In Mexico I’d travel through neighbourhoods and
forget that I was a keeper. I used to I always saw children wearing my goalkeeper top. And
laugh, because I was the top scorer country was the most beautiful thing. I once everywhere I went around the world, people knew who
at that time. Eventually he put me heard a story that the coach [Miguel Mejia I was and asked me for my autograph – the ’90s were
back in goal – it was funny, as first Baron] thought about playing me upfront something special for me.
they criticised him for putting me against Bulgaria in the last 16 at USA 94, I’d pretend that I wasn’t Jorge Campos sometimes.
upfront, then they criticised him for but that didn’t happen. Then at the 1998 When people recognised me, they were so surprised to
moving me away from the front-line! World Cup, they banned goalkeepers from see me on the street and would tell me, “Hey, you look
playing outfield. Unbelievable! I’m going to like Jorge Campos”. I’d answer, “Yes, people always tell
me that”, and then they’d say, “Only he is much taller Interview Martin Langer
talk to FIFA about that some day. and stronger.” I’d reply, “And uglier, too!” But when they
heard me talk, they realised it was me.
Left Denying Paolo Maldini I was assistant to Ricardo La Volpe during the 2006
at USA 94. Mexico topped World Cup and I have thought about being a coach.
their group which featured Now I’m a TV commentator. I like doing it a lot because
eventual runners-up Italy you’re never wrong!
Above left Jorge sported
slightly more conventional
kit at France 98 Top But he
was back in garish garb at
the 1999 Confederations
Cup – host nation Mexico
beat Brazil 4-3 in the final

FourFourTwo.com February 2018 81

A star in everyone’s second-favourite side, the Belgian defender
recalls what went right – and wrong – for Keegan’s Newcastle

Interview Richard Edwards I remember David Platt’s winner for England against We didn’t blow the title when we lost Top to bottom Celebrating
Belgium at Italia 90 well. I was sat watching from the 4-3 at Anfield. People say it all the time one of two goals he scored
bench. We were unfortunate. We were the better team but I don’t agree. We were also winning in a 3-3 draw with Man City
on the day until Platt popped up and ruined everything. at Blackburn, and then Graham Fenton in 1996; Denis Irwin can’t
We had more chances and hit the post twice – I don’t scored twice for them to turn it around. keep out Newcastle’s first
think England could have had any complaints if we had There were a few matches we should’ve goal in the 5-0 demolition
won that and gone through. won, but it’s that 4-3 game that people of Man United, capped by
The maddest match I played in was Werder Bremen always remember. Albert’s chip; seeing the
5-3 Anderlecht in the Champions League. It was crazy, The atmosphere when Shearer signed funny side when Juninho
absolutely crazy. We were 3-0 up with 20 minutes to go was off the scale. Everyone was thrilled asks, “You want some?!”
and it should have been five or six. But as soon as they when Alan arrived. He was a real leader
got the second goal we knew we were in trouble. They on and off the pitch. As a goalscorer I’ve we only had 10 men on our team. It
steamrollered us. never seen anyone like him. was frustrating.
USA 94 helped me to join Newcastle. I’d scored twice I’d planned to chip Peter Schmeichel. I had problems with Ruud Gullit. His
at that World Cup – the winner against the Dutch, which I knew he would be off his line, because methods were a long way off those of
is always a heated game, and one against Germany in that’s what he always did to reduce the Keegan and Dalglish. After I left, he also
the last 16. I had a good tournament and Kevin Keegan angle. I got the ball and immediately hit fell out with Alan Shearer and Duncan
had been watching as a pundit with the BBC. He’d seen it – people never believe me but it’s true. Ferguson, which tells you everything you
me in those two matches and liked what he saw. A few I scored some great goals for Newcastle need to know. One of the worst decisions
weeks later he got in touch, and I travelled to Leeds to but that’s the only one people talk about. that Newcastle ever made was appointing
meet him. We chatted for half an hour and I signed the It shows you the impact of beating Man Ruud Gullit as manager.
next day. It was great to move on because I had won United 5-0. Newcastle United’s a club that stays in the
everything possible in Belgium at Anderlecht. I was 27 We hammered Spurs 7-1, then Keegan blood. I don’t get back there very often these
and it was time to go somewhere else. quit. I remember driving to training days, but theirs is one of the first results I’ll
I had never heard of Rupert the Bear before, but the and there were loads of journalists look out for. When I retired I went to work for
Newcastle fans liked singing my name to the theme around, and I didn’t know why. a friend’s business. Then I became a pundit,
tune. The English players showed me a video and I was Everyone was shocked – for which is what I primarily do now.
really happy – I felt like an adopted Geordie as soon as us, it was unthinkable that
they started singing it. he could leave Newcastle.
Newcastle under Kevin Keegan were never boring to Kenny Dalglish came in
watch. He liked his defenders to play football and we’d and we managed to
always attack. When Freddy Shepherd and Sir John Hall finish second before
travelled to Spain to bring him back to Newcastle, it was reaching the FA Cup
probably the best thing that ever happened to the club. final. We were so close
People adored him in the North East – he was probably to winning a trophy, but
the most loved manager in England. When he talked to that’s football.
you, you knew that you were a better player than your Tino Asprilla was such an
opponent. You would run onto the pitch knowing that unpredictable player. He
you were going to win. could play Barcelona in the
Manchester United weren’t a better team than us in Champions League and put
1995-96 – they just had one player who could make us 3-0 up inside an hour. But
the difference in Eric Cantona. If he’d been banned for a few weeks later, if we were
a few more months we would have walked the league. playing someone like Derby,
He was a genius. It’s a shame for us that he came back he was nowhere to be seen.
slightly too soon. With a bit more experience we would One week he was a god, but
have won the league. No question. the next it could feel like

82 February 2018 FourFourTwo.com



The Romanian midfielder made the all-star team at the 1994 World
Cup before agreeing to dye his hair blond for a bet during France 98

Words Emanuel Rosu We dominated our last 16 game against Ireland at I scored a goal from near the touchline in Top to bottom Gheorghe
Italia 90, but it didn’t end well for us in the penalty the first match against Colombia. I always goes blond after beating
shootout. We had a talented side and played well when tried the impossible when I was on the pitch. England in 1998; running
we beat the Soviet Union and drew against Argentina I looked at the keeper, noticed his positioning amok against Argentina
in the group stage. We didn’t have enough international and had the crazy instinct to shoot – I knew at USA 94; he played for
experience at that level, though. I could score from outside the box. both Barcelona and Real
I was invited to Pele’s 50th birthday match. We had It was fantastic to knock out Argentina in Madrid during his career,
dinner with him and I asked him for an autograph for the last 16. We made people proud. I played taking the opportunity to
my friend in the national team. His name was ‘Pele’ as for Romania, not myself, and with players like work with his ‘idol’ Cruyff
well, because his father loved the Brazilian maestro. As Ilie Dumitrescu and Florin Raducioiu, we had at the Camp Nou in 1994
a Romanian, I felt very proud to be invited. During the the feeling that nobody was superior to us –
celebratory game there was a free-kick and everybody it was an extraordinary tournament. We all dyed our hair blond for the final group game
wanted it, but I stepped up – and scored! We would have been very, very dangerous against Tunisia for a bet. We told our manager, Anghel
The Real Madrid president came to see me after the if we had beaten Sweden in the quarter-finals. That Iordanescu, we’d have six points after two games, but
1990 World Cup and the move from Steaua Bucharest was when we showed we lacked a little something to he didn’t believe it. We said: “OK then, if it happens, you
happened very fast. There were other teams interested become world champions. Sweden were a man down
– in Italy, Germany and France – but Real Madrid really and carrying injuries during the dying minutes of extra shave your head and we’ll dye our hair
wanted to sign me. time. We were winning 2-1, but conceded a goal. How blond.” We won the first two matches,
Communism had only just fallen in Romania and life can that happen?! Unfortunately we lost on penalties. and Iordanescu didn’t leave the hotel
was very different for me in Spain. I also had to adapt to I played for both Barcelona and Real Madrid and I’m for three days because he didn’t want
a change of mentality, as Real Madrid had been league proud to be among the very few foreign players to have anyone to see him with a shaved head!
champions for five seasons in a row. I needed to fight done that. Because I’d already played for Madrid, there We lost to Croatia in the last 16 because
to become the best player in the world. I was educated were problems for a couple of months when I first went we didn’t really believe we could be world
into that mentality in La Liga. It gave me the idea that to Barcelona. Once, the fans were booing me, so I put champions. Maybe that’s our problem. I believe
I could be the best. my hand onto the club crest. They understood in that we can be world champions one day. I’ll believe
I don’t regret leaving Real Madrid in 1992. I wanted moment I was one of theirs. it until the day I die!
to taste Italian football – it was the best league in the Romario was unique – he was both a nine and a 10 at
world at the time. I had a clause in my contract stating the same time. He had everything – he scored, he had
it would be renewed if we won the league, but it didn’t vision, he created, he was strong. He was the ideal No.9
happen and I signed for Brescia. I learned about match and the first of his kind.
preparation in Italy. They looked at every detail. Johan Cruyff was my idol, so I was honoured when he
I played at Wembley in the Anglo-Italian Cup against said I was his favourite No.10 of the ’90s. I had fallen in
Notts County, but I never played for an English club and love with football with Ajax’s great team
I don’t really know why. The people in England seemed of the ’70s and he influenced me
to respect me, and it would have been extraordinary to a lot as my coach at Barça.
play there. I had a soft spot for England and I’d always England didn’t underestimate us
play well against them! when we beat them at the 1998
I knew Romania were going to do well at USA 94, and World Cup. We really believed
I even told the media we were going to do something in ourselves and felt we were
big before we left for the tournament. I felt it. Many of favourites to win that group
the players were with good teams abroad and we were ahead of both England
more experienced than in 1990. and Colombia.

84 February 2018 FourFourTwo.com



The flying winger was one of the decade’s earliest foreign
imports – he tells FFT about topping the music charts with
Manchester United and the time he swore at Alex Ferguson

I didn’t know which Manchester club I was joining. really fit properly. I played really badly in I have recorded a No.1 record. Teams would release Interview Chris Flanagan
When I flew to England in 1991, no one told me which a friendly, but fortunately they still gave their own songs back in those days. We did it at Everton
club I was going to. I asked my agent and he just said, me a contract! and Rangers. At United, our song Come On You Reds got
“To Manchester”. I asked, “Which club?” and he replied, United weren’t a big deal in the USSR. to the top of the charts in 1994.
“I don’t know”. When we landed, we were driven to Old There wasn’t a lot of information about I played for three countries during the ’90s – USSR,
Trafford. It was only then that I realised it was United. English football when I was younger. Of the CIS and Russia. At Euro 92, the USSR had broken up
I had to buy emergency boots. When I first met Alex course I knew about Manchester United and I played for the CIS – there was no national anthem
Ferguson he said, “Tomorrow, you’re training.” Nobody – Denis Law, Bobby Charlton, Matt Busby and it was very strange. Afterwards I chose to play for
told me that I’d be training. I hadn’t brought my boots! and George Best – but in ’91 most people Russia rather than Ukraine – people in Ukraine said bad
I went to buy some, but they were terrible. They didn’t spoke only about Liverpool because they things, shouting that I was born in Ukraine but played
had been dominating. That changed in for Russia. But I wasn’t the only one – Ukraine couldn’t
Top to bottom A Russia, the ’90s – soon everyone spoke about Man United and play at the 1994 World Cup, and six players born there
CIS and Soviet player in I was very proud to be part of that change. chose to play for Russia instead. All of the people saying
the ’90s, Andrei was not England was like school. There was so much to learn: those things were just stupid.
aware which of the two the mentality, the food, the language, having to drive Fergie tried to persuade me to stay at United in ’95.
Manchester outfits were on the other side of the road – it was a very big change. Deciding to leave was a mistake, but when I left David
keen on signing him; he The football was similar, though. I’d played for Dynamo Beckham started to play. If I’d stayed, maybe nobody
was a huge hit at United, Kiev under Valeri Lobanovsky – one of the best coaches would have heard the name David Beckham!
helping them win a first around – and he liked playing 4-4-2 with two wingers, Arsenal wanted to sign me but Man United said, “No
title for 26 years; in 162 just like Ferguson. chance” because they were fighting them at the top
appearances for the Red I once called Fergie a “Scottish bastard” – although of the league. So I went to Everton and my first goals
Devils he netted 36 goals not on purpose. My new team-mates taught me to say were the two I scored against Liverpool when we won
that to Ferguson at training, but I didn’t realise what it at Anfield. That was very special because we won a big
meant. That sort of thing happens if any player goes to derby. I was lucky, as I got to score in all the big derbies
a different country – when I played in Russia, everyone – the Manchester derby, the Merseyside derby and the
taught a Brazilian player to say, “F**k off” to the coach Old Firm derby, too.
in Russian. When I called Ferguson a “Scottish bastard” We won the league at Celtic Park during my time at
everybody laughed! Thankfully, he did too… Rangers, in 1999. That was absolutely brilliant – a big
We should have won the league in 1991-92. We were celebration. The fans were happy about it!
top all season, but towards the end we had too many I stood on the ball and put my hand to my forehead
matches and dropped points against Luton, West Ham during a Scottish Cup semi-final against Ayr in 2000,
and Liverpool. We won our last game, against Spurs at as if I was looking into the distance. I was looking for
Old Trafford. Ferguson came into the dressing room and my forward. Where’s my forward? Straight after that we
scored a goal: I looked up, put in a good cross and Billy
said: “Great season. Don’t worry, next season we Dodds scored. My forward!
will win it”. He was right.
We also should have won the Treble in Russian Winters: The Story of Andrei Kanchelskis, is now
1994. We won the Double, but we lost available to buy at www.decoubertin.co.uk/Kanchelskis
the League Cup final against Aston
Villa at Wembley – I remember it
very well because I got sent off
for handball!
After Eric Cantona kicked the

fan at Crystal Palace in 1995, everyone was quiet in
the dressing room. It was probably better not to shout
at a moment like that. It was a bad situation, especially

for Eric, because he was suspended for a long
time after that. He lost control, but it can
happen sometimes: Zinedine Zidane lost
control in the World Cup final, after all.





He may not have cracked Europe quite like Romario or Ronaldo, but few
players have crammed as much into their career as the Brazilian forward

I actually liked being called ‘The Animal’. A famous about was money. It may sound odd, but that was one Carlos was lying in the bed right next to him, but didn’t
Brazilian radio commentator used to name his man of of the reasons why I refused to go to Real after winning realise what was happening because he was watching
the match his ‘Animal’. Not everyone was happy with it two Brazilian titles with Palmeiras. They offered me the television with his headphones on. I ran off to find the
– Cafu wasn’t a fan – but it wasn’t an insult. Palmeiras same wage that I had in Brazil, so why would I leave my doctors. It was such a shock to see him that way – his
fans then started to use it as my nickname. It ended up country to have the same salary? I could have gone on skin had turned purple.
carrying a double meaning because of the things I did, to become a much bigger name than I was. I was told I was going to start against France in the
but I have no problem with it. I’m not a doctor, but Ronaldo clearly wasn’t well on final. Everyone knew that Ronaldo wasn’t in a fit state
My life has been different since my car crash in 1995, the day of the 1998 World Cup Final. I’ll usually joke to play. It was hard to focus given what had happened,
in which three people died. I was young, had a fancy with him that he owes me part of his fortune, because but then he arrived at the stadium and said he wanted
car and women all around me – everything that could I saved his life [Laughs]. I was the one who found him to play, which he obviously then did. I don’t blame the
lead you to such a mistake. I got to know the families having convulsions in the middle of the night. Roberto coaching staff – it was a decision that had to be taken
of the victims years later. It felt good to have a chance by the doctors, and they were not there when Ronaldo
to show them I’m not a bad guy. I remember this every Top Edmundo dismissed was having convulsions.
night. What I learned from my dad was to take lessons talk of animal cruelty in Playing Manchester United was a dream come true.
from the bad moments. Now I drive my car at 20 km/h. ’99 after giving a chimp I played against them in the Club World Cup with Vasco
I was furious when Romario took my armband. When his pint at a party for his in January 2000. I was nursing an injury and needed to
I was with Vasco da Gama, I had received an offer from son Above and far right have treatment day and night in order to be ready. The
Lazio, but the president refused to let me go. The only The striker won 39 caps Manchester United game was like a final for us, as they
reason I stayed at Vasco was out of my respect for our for Brazil – one of his 10 were our strongest opponent in the group. I scored an
coach, Antonio Lopes. When I got to the dressing room goals came at Wembley amazing goal, which was very special to me as it came
for the following match, I noticed Romario wearing the in the 1995 Umbro Cup on the same day as the funeral of one of my childhood
captain’s armband. I freaked out and rushed over to the Right His 29 goals in just friends. I wanted to honour him, so there was no better
director to ask what had happened – he told me that it 28 games helped Vasco way. The goal actually seems to be better remembered
was the president’s decision. seal a league title in ’97 in England than in Brazil, which is a bit strange because
I had a Rio Carnival clause put in my contract. When it was great!
I first flew to Italy to sign for Fiorentina, I said I wanted
Interview Marcus Alves a few clauses added, one of them permitting me to go
to the Rio Carnival. I was amazed when they accepted!
When I arrived there in 1998 I wasn’t playing, but the
coach, Giovanni Trapattoni, told me I would when I got
back from the national team. He didn’t honour his word.
I was furious and went to Brazil for the carnival. Mario
Zagallo then warned me he wouldn’t call me up to the
World Cup if I wasn’t playing for my club, so I flew back
to Italy and had a superb time.
Ronaldo wasn’t better than me. I have no doubt that
if FIFA had considered players from Brazilian football in
the ’90s, I would’ve been close to winning World Player
of the Year. I did better than Ronaldo in ’97 – actually,
not only in ’97, and I had a longer career. But Ronaldo
had a big advantage over me because he was fantastic
for Brazil and the whole world saw it. He had a positive
image and was charismatic. But that doesn’t mean he
was better than me – he wasn’t. Romario was, though.
Real Madrid offered me an eight-year contract, but
I said no. I could have spent much more of my career
abroad, but I was too dumb back then – all I thought

FourFourTwo.com February 2018 89

They may have lost a lot of their talent in recent years,
but there was a time when Southampton’s main man
stuck around – and could win most matches on his own

The mid-90s was the best time of my career. Early on Right Le Tissier in full flow me and Gary Lineker wore them before they soon died
I was hell-bent on having a football career, but by then for Southampton against a death, quite rightly.
I was just enjoying myself. You were able to have a life Manchester City in 1994 Xavi has great taste. I was amazed when he said that
outside football without it being splashed all over the Bottom The outrageously I was one of his favourite players. I was on holiday and
newspapers and social media. talented one-club man – my mate went to get ‘Xavi loves me’ T-shirts made. He
Even for the ’90s, my diet was s**t. I’d eat what tasted Xavi’s favourite growing up will be a great manager one day. I’d love to meet him.
good instead of salad all week to make me play one per – savours one of his 100 I would have won more international caps if I’d been
cent better on a Saturday. Granted, having Sausage & Premier League goals, at Spanish or French. In Europe, there’s an acceptance of
Egg McMuffins on the way to training wasn’t exactly my home to Middlesbrough that sort of player. My style and England’s didn’t really
best idea, but it’s difficult to turn them down when you suit each other.
drive past McDonald’s on the way to work. Ali Dia was a pub player who has a Premier League Glenn Hoddle didn’t think I was fit to lace his boots.
The baggy kits suited my body shape perfectly. Much appearance to his name, somehow. That would never When I scored a hat-trick for England B against Russia
more so than today’s skin-tight shirts. One season, we happen now. It was so bizarre and I still can’t believe it. at Loftus Road, I thought I’d done enough to make his
played in a ‘homemade’ kit thanks to chairman Rupert The worst part is, the worst player in history came on for 30-man France 98 squad, but I don’t know why he even
Lowe. The less said about that, and him, the better. me! I’d felt my quad the day before during training, but bothered going to the game. It felt like a waste of time.
I did whatever I pleased under Alan Ball. As long as still thought I could get through the full game. After 20 When I got to know him at Southampton, I realised he
I was doing the business on the pitch, he’d turn a blind minutes against Leeds I was struggling. If I’d seen him didn’t like the comparisons people made between us.
eye, and I scored 45 goals in 64 games for him. On one warming up I’d have stayed on, because after watching We never got on, which was a shame as I was a Spurs
pre-season tour to Northern Ireland, the players had an him a day earlier, I knew I’d be better on one leg! fan growing up and he was my hero.
unscheduled trip to the pub with Bally. He went to bed Quasar were the s**ttest football boots you’ve ever A local group called the Valley Slags wrote this song
early, so we took full advantage. He woke up before we seen but they paid all right. It was an odd brand. Just about me including the line: “Bring him on for England”,
got in and was waiting for us in the lobby. The lads got which was a plea to get me some more game time. It
Interview Andrew Murray an absolute rollicking, but Bally took me to one side and obviously fell on deaf ears so the song must have been
said: “Don’t worry about it. The way you’re playing, you pretty s**t!
can do whatever you want.” Happy days! At the back end of the ’90s, the relegation-survival
The goal at Blackburn in ’94 was definitely my best. blowouts got better. We’d go to a local Jumpin Jaks,
The degree of difficulty tops it. I remind old team-mate sink a ridiculous amount of alcohol and then a kebab at
Tim Flowers about it most times I speak to him – he’s 3am. Players were more approachable back then.
sick of it after 23 years. Straight away I thought, ‘That’s No matter where I go, people respect that I stayed
Goal of the Month’. Even the home fans applauded it... at Southampton. My personal happiness always came
I didn’t notice until after the game that Manchester first. I was playing in the Premier League and never too
United had changed their kit at half-time in April ’96. fussed about winning lots of medals. I got into football
We played brilliantly in the first half and were smashing to entertain.
the champions to pieces 3-0, and all we read about the
next day was the bloody kit change. The
hated The Dell. It was such an intimate
ground, and that motivated you.





The ’90s were a golden era for Rangers, and the Danish superstar passed Champions League was incredible, but given I was only
up a move to Barcelona to stay and play a huge part in the Gers’ success on loan and not playing regularly, I didn’t ever feel 100
per cent part of it.
Being a Laudrup was not easy. When your father and I was sad my brother missed out on Euro 92. We had I really did reject Barcelona for Rangers. I had never
older brother are both famous internationals, everyone both left the national team after a disagreement with spent more than two years at a club and needed some
has high expectations and that was tough. I wanted to the manager in 1990, but I returned in February 1992, stability in my life, particularly for my family. About two
make my own name. I didn’t want to be ‘son of Finn’ or having patched things up. Michael was perhaps a little or three months after I’d signed for Rangers, my agent
‘brother of Michael’. more stubborn. He was on holiday in New York during phoned to say, “Barcelona want to buy you.” But I said,
The German press were ruthless. At 21 years of age, the tournament. After we beat Holland in the semi-final “No chance”, and went to tell Walter Smith I wanted to
moving to a club like Bayern Munich in 1990 was a big he phoned saying, “What the hell’s going on?” I would stay at Ibrox for several years. He looked me in the eye
step. There was some added pressure because the fee have loved for him to be there, but he made his choice. and said, “So you would rather play Falkirk on a Tuesday
[DM 6 million] was a Bundesliga record – now it seems Serie A in the ’90s was the place to be. It was like the night than join Barça?” and I said, “Definitely!”
like a signing-on fee! If I played well the papers would Premier League or La Liga now – all the best players in Gazza once came into training with dreadlocks. It was
say: “Well that’s what you expect for so much money” the world were there. Having had a difficult season with hilarious. You never knew what to expect with guys like
and if I played badly they said I was a flop. Bayern Munich it was an easy decision to join Fiorentina Paul Gascoigne and Ally McCoist around.
I wasn’t on the beach when I heard Denmark would in 1992. We had great players like Gabriel Batistuta and My goal celebration against Brazil at France 98 was
be going to Euro 92. I was actually still in Munich when made a good start – by January we were fourth. Then not planned. My son would say, “Dad, when you score,
I got the call. I had stayed behind for a couple of weeks we lost 1-0 to Atalanta and suddenly the manager was what you do is so boring.” I had seen Roberto Di Matteo
to try to get fitter after an injury. One afternoon I went sacked. Things quickly went downhill and we ended up score a goal for Chelsea and pose lying on the floor, so
home and found my wife stood in the hallway. She said: getting relegated. I copied that. His version was much better, though. He’d
“Yugoslavia have been kicked out so you have to report Milan were probably the Real Madrid or Barcelona of obviously rehearsed it with the team, because they all
to the training camp tomorrow!” I had no idea that was that time – they were without doubt the best team in posed with him. Brazil were a great team but we really
coming. My first reaction was, “No chance” – I couldn’t Europe. I went there on loan in 1993, but the problem felt we could beat them. It was a great quarter-final –
even play 90 minutes in a friendly, so how could I play was that we had six foreign players and only three were we lost, but we left the competition playing our part in
in a European Championship? allowed to play at a time. Winning both Serie A and the one of the best matches of that World Cup.
I could have joined Manchester United. Just after I’d
shaken hands on my move to Chelsea in ’98, I had Alex Interview James Maw
Ferguson on the phone. I told him it’d be morally wrong
of me to go back on my word and not join Chelsea. He
was just a bit too late.
Chelsea never felt quite right. There were lots of great
guys at the club, but something inside me was saying it
was time to go back home to Denmark. I was frustrated
with the squad rotation system there. It’s not very nice
leaving a club after four or five months, but I’d tried my

etimes you have to do what’s

Clockwise from above The
Dane enjoyed unexpected
success with Denmark at
Euro 92; Hearts struggled
to contain him; especially
in the ’96 Scottish Cup Final
when Laudrup scored two
goals himself before teeing
up three more for Gordon
Durie (right, next to Gazza)

FourFourTwo.com February 2018 93

:LQWHU






:LQWHU

Action Replay editor Andrew Murray

Fight Club: CthyerilLtihoenSpw1a0n0 THE STORY
BEHIND
THE SHOT

MIGHTY MOUSE: MIGHTY DOGS

It’s hard moving to a foreign country. It’s even harder if your first
few months are spent in a Hamburg hotel room with your two Old
English Sheepdogs energetically relieving themselves at will. Just
ask Kevin Keegan in 1977. “It was no kind of life for Jean,” Mighty
Mouse admitted. So when the Keegans moved into a rustic abode
on the outskirts of Germany’s second city, it was no surprise they
invited a photographer along to mark the big occasion. Walkies!

FROM RUSSIA With the countdown to the
WITH LOVE… 2018 World Cup now well
underway, FFT recalls how
Sergei Baltacha – the first
Soviet international ever to
play in the Football League
– took Blighty to his heart

O n June 25, 1988 the Netherlands
met the Soviet Union in the final
of the European Championship. It
was a heavyweight bout with the
two best coaches, Rinus Michels
and Valeri Lobanovsky, going toe-to-toe
in a game forever associated with Marco
van Basten’s balletic volley in Munich’s
shimmering Olympic Stadium.

It was also a significant day for Soviet
defender Sergei Pavlovich Baltacha. By
the end of that year, as an integral part

of four Dynamo Kiev league crowns and “AS SOON AS I HEARD OF THE INTEREST a party, where many were disappointed
their 1986 Cup Winners’ Cup glory, he’d FROM IPSWICH, I WANTED TO PLAY IN to learn the host drank nothing stronger
swap the Soviet Union for Suffolk based ENGLAND –THE HOME OF FOOTBALL” than lemonade.
on the 22 minutes he’d played in the 2-0
defeat to the Dutch – he just didn’t know highest earner, but did provide a house Kiev. For a mid-table second-tier outfit More cultural differences followed.
it yet... and car – fittingly a Russian-made Lada recovering from their early-80s success “I used to fly everywhere for games in
Samara 1300 courtesy of a local dealer under Bobby Robson, this was something the Soviet Union, sometimes to Georgia
Soviet Union leader Mikhail Gorbachev in Bridlington. of a coup for the Tractor Boys. or somewhere,” recalls Baltacha.
was ushering in the new era of Glasnost, “I remember all the lads complaining
a Cold War-thawing policy of increased The 30-year-old was huge news in East So keen were Ipswich fans to get a first about a five-hour bus journey up to Hull.
openness and transparency behind the Anglia. “When my interpreter translated look, more than 1,000 turned up to see I said to them: ‘Only five hours? You try
Iron Curtain. For the first time, the best the first question at my press conference Sergei’s maiden run-out for the reserves a seven-hour flight with another couple
and most experienced Soviet footballers – ‘Sergei, are you a communist?’ – I just against Southampton – more than three of hours either side waiting.’
could leave the motherland to showcase thought it was a joke,” he explains to FFT. times the average attendance. How did “I actually ended up seeing my family
their talent abroad. There was even a list “The Ipswich chairman, Patrick Cobbold, the Second Division’s rough-and-tumble more when I moved to England. It was
of players who were permitted to depart then intervened and said: ‘Ipswich Town measure up to Lobanovsky’s passion for enjoyable. Also, the dressing room was
for the West. Deemed worthy of reward is a football club, Sergei is a footballer – intricate passing and computer-based a lot different to what I’d been used to –
for services to their country, all were 30 if you want to talk politics, please leave approach to statistics? everybody was focused and the players
or over and regular internationals. and go elsewhere.’ wouldn’t talk too much beforehand. The
“I knew a little about Ipswich because move abroad allowed me to see a totally
“There were a couple of other players “I appreciated it – the Cobbold family I’d faced Scotland and John Wark at the different mentality.”
we were interested in but Sergei was the made Ipswich such a special club, and 1982 World Cup and, in 1981, Ipswich On the pitch, though, Sergei struggled
one we wanted most,” Ipswich manager that particular gesture from him made had lifted the UEFA Cup,” says Baltacha. to adapt, with gaffer Duncan persisting
John Duncan revealed in his newspaper me feel very welcome.” “After Euro 88, Lobanovsky phoned me with him as a wide midfielder, instead
column. “I was impressed with him and and said there were several clubs from of the cool sweeper that he’d recruited.
had seen video tapes – his record spoke It was a strange time for a footballer Italy, Switzerland and England interested A fiery Scot who was sacked by Ipswich
for itself.” to emerge from behind the Iron Curtain. in signing me. in 1990 and became a teacher, before
leading Second Division Chesterfield to
In December 1988, after three days of “When I arrived at Heathrow airport in “I was 30 and had been with Dynamo the FA Cup semi-finals in 1997, Duncan
intense negotiation in Moscow involving early 1989, it was the same time as the Kiev for 12 years. As soon as I’d heard of couldn’t have been more different in his
Duncan, director David Sheepshanks and European Figure Skating Championships the interest from Ipswich, I wanted to go approach to Lobanovsky.
Baltacha, the Tractor Boys got their man. and I thought all the television cameras and play in England. It was the home of “When he came into the dressing room
Ipswich transferred the £200,000 fee to were there for the Soviet team arriving. football, and although I didn’t speak any at half-time, I think I was expecting it to
Sovintersport – the government agency English, I knew that was where I wanted be quite like Lobanovsky’s style,” reveals
responsible for deals – who in turn paid “I thought I’d wait for all the skaters to to be.” Baltacha. “I thought he would be talking
Dynamo Kiev and then Baltacha. go on ahead of me to clear the way, but tactics, but he came in and swore loudly
the TV cameras stayed very close to me Baltacha could demonstrate football’s sometimes. I couldn’t speak English so
Bound by maximum wage regulations, and I didn’t understand why. I’d go one universal language. He found the net on didn’t understand what he was saying
Town weren’t able to make the Football way and then the other, and each time his debut in a 5-1 home win over Stoke at first. People in Russia didn’t swear in
League’s first Soviet footballer the club’s the cameras would follow.” in January 1989, despite having to play public. People talk about pressure forcing
in an unfamiliar right-midfield role in an it, but Lobanovsky managed at a World
Sergei agreed an 18-month deal with injury-hit side. Cup and also for some big teams, and he Words Richard Woodall
a six-month break clause inserted into it never did.”
– something the club told reporters was “With Dynamo Kiev I’ve played in front Keen to play as a sweeper once again,
because of “possible social differences of a crowd of 100,000,” he commented Baltacha moved north of the border and
and the uniqueness of the situation”. after the emphatic victory. “But for me, joined St Johnstone in 1990, retiring at
the 15,000 Ipswich crowd made just as Inverness Caledonian Thistle, whom he
Not that it really mattered – Baltacha much noise today.” also briefly managed.
had big pedigree, winning the Under-20 The Baltachas stayed in Blighty. Sergei
World Cup in 1977, the U21 Euros three To celebrate the debut heroics, Sergei became a PE teacher and now works for
years later and bronze at the Olympics, invited his team-mates to his house for Charlton Athletic’s academy, easing the
in addition to his sackful of honours with graduates’ pathway into senior football.
His son, Sergei Jnr, featured for St Mirren
and Scotland U21s, and daughter Elena
was British tennis No.1 before her death
from liver cancer in 2014. She was only
30, the same age as her father when he
swapped Soviet Russia for Suffolk.
His crossing of the Iron Curtain paved
the way for others including goalkeeper
Dmitri Kharine, who moved to Chelsea in
1992, and Andrei Arshavin, a club-record
signing for Arsenal in 2009.
“It’s interesting to look back at my own
move from the USSR and to now see how
the other Soviet players have followed,”
says Baltacha. “It’s nice to have opened
up a way for that.”

FourFourTwo.com February 2018 97

Running on empty Stanley Matthews became football’s first knight
Dear Kevin Mabbutt (right). Why He was the first playing ‘Sir’, but former international
baby blue chinos for pre-season? Charles Clegg was titled in 1927 while FA president

Swings and (maybe) roundabouts with the Gows
One lovely winter’s day in 1979, moustachioed Scottish midfielder Gerry Gow
wanted to show off his swings and rockery, so invited the Robins’ programme.

The most wonderful time of year “Did I tell you that I’m Scottish?”
Nothing says ‘It’s Christmas’ quite You’d never guess it, but Donnie
like handing out Mars bars to the Gillies is from north of the border.
Ashton Gate public on horseback.

GET YER PROGRAMMES!

BRISTOL
CITY
Programme master Pearce Family Inc
Miles McClagan finds Commentator Jonathan Pearce
Mars bars, swings and and his dad flog video cameras.
kilts in the Robins’ vault

Walking on air
Geert Meyer (front) and Trevor
Tainton (rear) take to the skies
as part of a pre-season session.

“Give us a smile, Jim...” Introducing Kevin Mabbutt PLC
Voted the best programme in the In front of his Lotus Esprit, Robins striker Kevin Mabbutt – older brother of future
land, surely commercial manager Spurs defender Gary – explains why he’s made himself a public limited company.
Jim Evans could at least grin a bit.
Follow Miles on Twitter @TheSkyStrikers or on Flickr http://bit.ly/2u9q5nV

98 February 2018 FourFourTwo.com

WHAT
HAPPENED

TO...

Stuart 1 ROTHERHAM a training game, as you could hear every
Ripley shout from the goalkeeper at the far end,
October 29, 2002 all the effin’ and jeffin’ from the dugouts
Who? Division One and each thud of boot to ball.
Robust, blond-haired
winger who made 37 Rotherham fan, Andy Peel I tried to count every home fan, and I’m
league appearances pretty sure the final attendance included
for Blackburn in their “As a Rotherham fan in the South East, We were ticketless but we needn’t have the stewards, ball boys and kitchen staff. Ripley words Joe Nicholson
1994-95 title-winning getting to many games as a teenager worried. After struggling to locate the box
season. He’d already wasn’t really an option for me – unless office – only the London-based away fans Rather brilliantly, our manager Ronnie
featured in excess of we played Crystal Palace or Wimbledon were in the queue – we had the freedom Moore blamed the lack of atmosphere on
300 times for boyhood away. As soon as the fixture list came of the Whitehorse Lane end. There were our performance. Ironically, we were back
team Middlesbrough, out that summer, my brother and I had just 227 supporters in a stand that holds at Selhurst a week later to play the Dons in
and won two England this one earmarked. around 2,000. a League Cup tie. The crowd was 664 and
caps before retiring in we won 3-1. So much for that excuse.
2002 at Southampton. The build-up to the match was strange, The home side’s 23,000 seats contained
as Wimbledon were playing their last full 622 backsides, so I formed part of the First I’ve watched us stay up on the last day
Back to school season at Selhurst Park before moving to Division’s lowest-ever crowd – 849. of the season with a 0-0 draw and come
“The only thing I knew Milton Keynes. So we knew it was going from behind to win a League One play-off
I wanted to do when to be an interesting atmosphere. We lost 2-1. I don’t remember much of final, but nothing will top the bizarreness
the match, more the event. It felt a bit like of a Sunday League gate inside a Premier
I retired was go to League-sized stadium.”
university,” said the
winger, who is now B I Z A R R E H I S T O R Y O F. . . F L A M E N G O
a qualified solicitor.
He got nine O-levels CHRISTMAS MIRACLE SWEET SUCCESS THE ZICO DIET A WIN IS A WIN HOME FROM HOME Words Barney Lane
prior to signing for
Boro at 16, and after Founded in November Among many credited Club great Zico almost The club’s group-stage They may have around
hanging up his boots, 1895 as a rowing club, inventors of the bicycle never made it as a pro. first-place play-off with 39.1 million supporters
Ripley enrolled at the Flamengo welcomed kick, forward Leonidas Considered ‘too small’, Atletico Mineiro in the in Brazil alone, but the
University of Central 10 fed-up Fluminense – leading scorer at the Flamengo put the teen 1981 Copa Libertadores Estadio da Gavea (their
Lancashire to study players over Christmas 1938 World Cup – was talent – who went on lasted only 37 minutes official home) houses
French, criminology 1911 to create a team dubbed ‘Rubber Man’ to score 508 Mengao after five Mineiro men only 4,000 people. The
and law. Impressive. that trained on Russel and ‘Diamante Negro’ goals – on a special were shown red cards. club play most games
beach. One of Brazil’s (the Black Diamond). nutri lamengo were given at the 78,000-capacity
So might we be most intense The latter is now one gym op spot in the group Maracana and also use
seeing Stu in court? club rivalries of Brazil’s best-selling to i Estadio Luso Brasileiro,
Probably not. After was triggered. chocolate bar brands. his si y default en route to which can seat 20,000.
missing out on his eir sole Copa to date.
later education, he
is making up for lost
time and training to
be a law lecturer in
Lancashire. He still
supports the career
of son Connor (24),
who is a goalkeeper
for Middlesbrough.

FourFourTwo.com February 2018 99

DID YOU KNOW? In 1926, QPR became the third (and

? last) club to fail to participate in the FA Cup because

?? their office staff forgot to post the application forms

THE MATCH
CLASSICS REPORT

Jimmy A Game Of
Grimble Three Halves

A young Manchester Northern Echo
City fan with magic September 3, 1894
in his football boots
rises to bully-beating “Sunderland vs Derby
stardom in this Ray County. In beautiful
Winstone-endorsed weather and before
2000 flick. You slag! 8,000 spectators.

vs The visitors had all
of the early play with
The Anglo- CYRIL THE SWAN ZAMPA THE LION Sunderland unable to
Italian Cup SWANSEA CITY MILLWALL break. Donald Gow –
relieving splendidly –
Lower-league clubs VETCH FIELD, FEBRUARY 2001 enabled them to get
through and Johnny
– the zebra-kit clash Faced a disciplinary hearing after kicking PREVIOUS Saintly by comparison. Around since the Campbell, from Peter
between Ascoli and a ball at a Millwall player during a 1998 FA 1920s, he once stacked it while running Meehan’s long pass,
Notts County proved Cup match. He also collided into Norwich’s out with the players, to much mirth, but opened Sunderland’s
a particular highlight Bryan Hamilton and a code of conduct for enhanced his reputation by finishing the score.
– took on their Italian mascots was later introduced. Yes, really. London Marathon. Has a Facebook page.
counterparts. Often Jimmy Hannah got
literally, as Serie B’s With 300 armed police seizing weapons During the break, Zampa emerged from number two, Tommy
most fervid hooligans (including an axe and a “Chinese martial the Millwall end and made a beeline for Hyslop following with
faced off against the arts flail”) Cyril spent the first half of the his 9ft avian rival. Instead of a standard the third. Half-time:
firms of English foes. third-tier showdown firing up the home spot-kick shootout, the Londoners were Sunderland 3 goals;
fans, after advice to “keep a low profile”. bent on revenge following the ’98 frolics. Derby County none.
BUILD-UP
Tom Kirkham – the
Colombia “They’d put someone in the costume to HANDBAGS Zampa’s jabs failed to land with enough appointed referee –
1990 kit fill me in,” Cyril – aka groundsman Eddie THEY SAID force, before an accurate Cyril uppercut had missed his train
Donne – said after his ’98 capers ended detached the former’s head. The swan connection, but then
Never better worn with that Welsh FA rap. Beak to snout, the then drop-kicked Zampa’s bonce into the turned up during the
than by playmaker pair traded blows, roared on by the fans. crowd as the headless Lion hobbled off. interval and ordered
Carlos Valderrama the game to restart.
at the 1990 World “Don’t f**k with the Swans,” Cyril shouted, “Rip his head off, Zampa!” bellowed the
Cup. This splendid before diving into a nearby dressing room. Millwall fans. The club stayed silent, but The hosts pressed
shirt was as much As police officers banged on the door, he Swansea dismissed the shenanigans as strongly and Hannah
of a star as Carlos’ got changed, snuck out of the ground and “a good-natured affair. You’ll see nearly soon scored. James
mop of crazy curls. went home, leaving the outfit on the floor. everyone has got a smile on their face”. Gillespie scored the
second, finely, while
Fight Club words James Ayles AND THE WINNER IS… Jimmy Miller added
the third. Half-time:
CYRIL THE SWAN Sunderland 3 goals;
Derby County none.
Nice one Cyril, who made front-page news. Arrested in December 2001 for assault at the Mascot Grand National,
but charges were dropped. Married Cybil the Swan in 2005 and has mellowed, with Donne leaving the suit behind. Campbell then got
the fourth and Hyslop
followed a grand shot
that hit the post with
a magnificent goal,
before supplying the
sixth. Miller provided
the seventh goal and
Gillespie the eighth.
Final: Sunderland 8
goals; Derby County
none.”

An actual account of
a Division One game
that ended (3+)8-0

100 February 2018 FourFourTwo.com