MONTH 2022 101 THE CRITIC AND SCALA RADIO PRESENTER CHOOSES SCORES HE’S BEEN PLAYING ON HIS WEEKLY SHOW a father who, desperate to be in contact with his angry son, pretends to be a waitress named Becca. “What appealed to me was not only the fact that it’s based on a real thing that happened to the writer-director, but that he manages to make a character who’s so morally adrift seem lovable,” says Oswalt. In real life, he has been the target of online tricksters himself, with fake Patton Oswalt accounts popping up on Instagram. How do you know they’re fake? “If it’s just gibberish or links to go buy something,” he cautions, “that’s how you’ll know it’s not me.” There are many trolls, but only one Pip the Troll. NICK DE SEMLYEN I LOVE MY DAD IS OUT NOW ON DVD, BLU-RAY AND DIGITAL ENYS MEN BY MARK JENKIN As with his previous eradefining work Bait, Cornish cinematic bard Mark Jenkin has provided the score for this superbly eerie and haunting oddity. The soundtrack, which Invada have released both digitally and on limited-edition vinyl, is an atmospheric treat, full of squishy analogue throbs and plaintive, half-heard tune fragments, all blended together with the sounds of the sea and the wind, as if the music was oozing out of the landscape of the film. There are also fragments of dialogue which crackle through the ambient throng like ghostly voices at a séance. The overall effect is quite mesmerising; if you’re a fan of the OST of David Lynch’s Eraserhead, or of Mica Levi’s work on Monos, then this will be a contender for best album of 2023. Enys Men completists may also wish to track down the album Gwavas Lake by Brenda Wootton with the Four Lanes Male Choir, which boasts the spine-tingling rendition of ‘The Bristol Christ’ featured in the film. And don’t forget Gwenno’s ‘Kan Me’ from her album Tresor, which serves as Enys Men’s theme. Perfect! THE IRON GIANT BY MICHAEL KAMEN Toward the end of last year, Varèse Sarabande released a deluxe edition of Michael Kamen’s soundtrack to Brad Bird’s 1999 animated adaptation of Ted Hughes’ 1968 novel. The two-disc package comes with liner notes by Tim Greiving which include new interviews with Bird, music editor Christopher Brooks and orchestrator Blake Neely, and 13 minutes of alternates, outtakes and demos including a piano-and-guitar pass by Kamen and Eric Clapton at a song based on a Kamen theme. Having never been a fan of Clapton (musically, personally, politically), I kept it Kamen, which went down well with Scala listeners! ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT BY VOLKER BERTELMANN On my MK3D show at the BFI Southbank in London, director Edward Berger talked about helming the first German production of Erich Maria Remarque’s 1928 novel, and using modern technology to bring the story right up-to-date — creating a film that really puts you there in the trenches, in the same way that Sam Mendes’ 1917 did. But it’s the music of Volker Bertelmann which really packs a punch — emotionally and dramatically. The score is an impressive combination of the old and the new — of bloodcurdling action and heart-breaking pathos. MARK KERMODE’S FILM MUSIC SHOW, IN ASSOCIATION WITH EMPIRE, IS ON SCALA RADIO ON SATURDAYS FROM 1-3PM (SCALARADIO.CO.UK) Clockwise from top left: Young Adult; Magnolia; Big Fan; Ratatouille; Eternals; Blade: Trinity and I Love My Dad. APRIL 2023 101
BUNGEE JUMPING MAY well be the staple of many an adventurous stag/hen do (“What goes on tour, stays on tour”), but nobody does it bigger or better than James Bond in 1995’s GoldenEye. The action sees Bond (Pierce Brosnan’s debut) infiltrate a top-secret Soviet nerve-gas facility by swallowdiving 640 feet on a bungee, firing a piton gun into the facility’s roof and hauling himself down the remaining way. The result is breathtaking, full of grace and bravado, and remains one of the signature stunts of the entire series. Although we don’t see Brosnan’s face until after the stunt, not only was it the first time we meet his 007, it was the first time audiences were seeing Bond at all after a sixyear hiatus following 1989’s Licence To Kill. Knowing full well the sequence was not only bedding in a new Bond but also reintroducing the series, the production needed sufficient wow factor. “A lot of people do bungee jumps but no-one does them with the style of James Bond,” says stunt coordinator Simon Crane. “It would have been much easier just to do a jump, but doing a swallow dive was taking it one step beyond.” Crane selected stuntman Wayne Michaels because “he was a good double for Pierce, a good size and a great stuntman.” The location was the Verzasca Dam near Locarno, Switzerland. Crane consulted the Oxford University bungee-jumping society for advice. According to Crane, what he got was more of a warning. “They said, ‘It’s never been done so close to a sheer wall of concrete. You’re jumping into the unknown.’” “It was the most extraordinary picture,” recalled Michaels in 2015’s Some Kind Of Hero: The Remarkable Story Of The James Bond Films, about seeing the dam for the first time. “You kept looking up and up and never seemed to get to the top. It was the most enormous, gigantic piece of engineering, quite awe-inspiring. A lot of really burly tough riggers looked at it and said, ‘Fuck that!’” The bungee cord was comprised of separate threads which would give four clear seconds of free-fall before engaging. Blessed with perfect weather, the jump took place on 11 March 1995. Even the most professional and prepared felt butterflies. “You’re crapping yourself,” suggests Crane. “You’d be mad if you weren’t.” For Michaels, a last-minute image burned into his brain. “Literally, just before the AD said, ‘Action,’ I caught out of the corner of my eye this little Italian crane driver who did the sign of the crucifix, head to chest and across the chest.” But save for a few bumps and bruises on Michaels’ back and legs, the jump went without a hitch, captured in one go by four cameras. “It’s all in one,” says Crane, summing up the shot’s effectiveness. “There’s no cheating. It has style but it was for real.” You know the name. You know the number. Six hundred and 40 feet. IAN FREER GOLDENEYE IS OUT NOW ON DVD, BLU-RAY AND DIGITAL GoldenEye INSTANT TRIVIA ↓ Allstar How iconic images came to life 1 A planned test was scuppered when a sophisticated dummy got lost in transportation to Locarno. A tree trunk was used but, as Crane recalls, “The ropes snapped and the tree smashed into the wall.” 2 The proximity of the wall meant the bungee cord was connected to an out-of-shot crane. “It’s never how far you fall that kills you; it’s how quickly you stop,” says Crane. “The bungee was attached to various other weights that would slow the fall down so it was a gradual process.” 3 Director Martin Campbell wanted Michaels to pull the piton gun from the holster before he fell out of shot. The stuntman managed to remove and point the gun just in time, meaning the shot blended seamlessly into the next one. 4 The moment has been immortalised in a pair of socks — ‘The Jump’ are available from the wittily titled London Sock Exchange. 102 APRIL 2023
Stuntman Wayne Michaels stands in for new Bond Pierce Brosnan. APRIL 2023 103
TRIANGLE OF SADNESS director Ruben Östlund on his scabrous satire OF ALL THE films to rip into the wealthy and privileged lately — and there have been a fair few — none have been as scathing, or as funny, or indeed as pooey, as Triangle Of Sadness. It’s a black comedy about an ensemble of eccentrically terrible rich people whose luxury cruise ends in shipwreck and ignominy. In his Englishlanguage debut, writer-director Ruben Östlund found numerous routes to satirise the mega-rich and the mega-thick — as he explains here. STRIKE A POSE The opening sequence, which sees Carl (Harris Dickinson) and a gaggle of male models forced to demonstrate the difference between luxury-brand poses (sultry, serious looks) and high-street fashion poses (cheesy smiles), was a concept plucked from real life. “My wife is a fashion photographer,” says Östlund. “She told me that the more exclusive the brand gets, the more that smile disappears. It’s almost like the model is looking down on the consumer — they’re communicating that these brands are positioning themselves at the top of the hierarchy, and you can also buy yourself a position up at the top of the hierarchy if you buy these clothes.” It’s a playful and cheeky way to start, but these opening scenes are central to the film’s main themes. “Our clothes are basically a camouflage that we pick according to which social group we feel connected to,” Östlund says. “I thought this could bring up aspects of the film that I thought was interesting — this idea of beauty as a currency.” CHECK, PLEASE Poor Carl earns another humiliation in an excruciating early scene, which sees him bicker with his fellow model and girlfriend Yaya (played by Charlbi Dean, who tragically passed away last year, aged just 32) over who pays the bill for a restaurant meal. Again, this was something based directly on Östlund’s real life. “Not my proudest moment,” he chuckles. “When I was quite early in my relationship with my wife, I wanted to impress her, but at the same time, I didn’t want to be a sugar daddy!” The scene is based, almost beat-for-beat, on an argument the couple had where Östlund’s future wife expected him to pay for the meal. “The bill is on the table,” he recalls, “and immediately she says, ‘Thank you, honey, that’s so sweet of you.’ All of a sudden, I feel I’m forced to pay, right? We’re both trapped in a certain kind of gender expectation — of how we should be treated and how we should treat each other. That evening played out pretty much the same way as it does in the film.” (Östlund and his 104 APRIL 2023
from the start, he says. “I wrote in the script, ‘I want to push this scene ten times further than the audience expects.’ I wanted the scene to go to a certain place where even the audience will feel they’ve had enough — and at that point, it would be when we realise that they start shitting.” Audience reactions have ranged from laughter and schadenfreudian delight, to walk-outs at its Cannes premiere, to more physical reactions still. “I only heard about one person that vomited when they saw it,” reports Östlund. “It’s not the most important thing. But it makes me happy.” DO THE HARD SELL The satire continued even after the film was completed. Continuing the punk-ish, rebellious spirit of the film, Östlund encouraged an unconventional approach to marketing and advertising. Neon, the film’s distributor in the US, offered free Botox (conditions applied) to any ticket holders (a campaign Östlund approved of as “brilliant”). They also ran a billboard on a busy highway in Los Angeles that simply proclaimed, “I SELL SHIT” in giant letters, with actor Zlatko Burić posing in character as Russian oligarch and sewage-salesman scene-stealer Dimitry. “You could call a number and then you would get through to [a recorded message from] Zlatko, saying, ‘Buy our shit with your beautiful capitalist dollars!’” Well, where there’s muck, there’s brass. JOHN NUGENT TRIANGLE OF SADNESS IS OUT ON 20 FEBRUARY ON DVD, BLU-RAY AND 4K wife now use an app to split the bill at restaurants, which he describes as “so fucking unromantic”.) ROCK THE BOAT The middle section of the film takes place entirely on a luxury yacht, where Carl and Yaya — as ambassadors for the online influencer culture — join a gaggle of super-rich weirdos on the high seas, each billionaire more grotesque than the last. Östlund took a research trip on an actual cruise to mine for material. “There were some very interesting stories from the yachting culture,” he says. “That is a very absurd culture, I must say.” He borrowed dialogue heard from real life — including the wealthy passenger complaining about the “dirty sails” — but some stories were too ridiculous, even for Östlund. “On one yacht, in the master bedroom, they had a jacuzzi. It provoked a certain kind of behaviour from the guests: quite often, they wanted to fill up the jacuzzi with champagne. One guy even wanted to put goldfish in it. So then the crew were like, ‘Okay, maybe it’s not a good idea to have a jacuzzi in the master bedroom.’” TAKE THE PISS (AND MORE) The film reaches a body fluid-heavy crescendo with the now-notorious 20-minute sequence where the passengers on the yacht suffer from violent seasickness during the captain’s dinner. Vomit, diarrhoea and raw sewage fly every which way; an orgy of scatologia of the kind “that the world of cinema has not witnessed” was Östlund’s goal. It was an extreme plan baked in Above: Model Yaya (the late Charlbi Dean) strikes a pose on deck. Left: Russian Oligarch Dimitry (Zlatko Burić) with mistress Ludmilla (Carolina Gynning). Here: Carl (second right, Harris Dickinson) and fellow male models sport their fake smiles. Right, top to bottom: The Captain (Woody Harrelson) hits the drink with First Mate Darius (Arvin Kananian); Life on the yacht gets rough; Director Ruben Östlund (centre) on set. APRIL 2023 105
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Gutter credit Illustration: Neil Edwards. Alamy the team put together to stop the rampage and needs to consult her estranged father (Gard B. Eidsvold) — dismissed as mad because of his nowsuddenly-proven theories on trolls — to learn how to stop the fearsome, if not unsympathetic monster before it levels Oslo. A terrific mix of spectacle, humour, politics and devastation. Iranian-born, Scandinavia-based Ali Abbasi — who made his own bizarre troll story (Border) and an underrated Frankenstein variant (Shelley) — returns home, at least in setting, with Holy Spider (which was shot in Jordan). The based-on-fact drama pits a female journalist (Zar Amir Ebrahimi) against a serial killer (Mehdi Bajestani) in the holy city of Mashhad. Our hero, belittled and harassed at every turn, is terrified that the murderer of prostitutes is unapprehended because religious authorities basically think he’s doing a good job keeping women in their place… a belief the killer also takes comfort in, leading to a suspenseful third act in court as the establishment seem to be looking for a way to let the odious killer off lightly. Duncan Birmingham’s Who Invited Them is billed as a home-invasion movie, but takes A NORWEGIAN KAIJU picture, Roar Uthaug’s Troll treads in the giant footsteps of found-footage hit Trollhunter but plays as a Scandi-noir homage to King Kong or Godzilla. A railway tunnel blasted through frozen mountains awakens a mossbearded, earth-and-rock-bodied giant. Paleontologist Nora (Ine Marie Wilmann) is drafted into a while to get past comedy of embarrassment to duct tape and brandished kitchenware. A nouveau couple (Ryan Hansen, Melissa Tang) throw a housewarming party to show off their swish pad in an upscale Los Angeles neighbourhood. A chic, plausible pair (Timothy Granaderos, Perry Mattfeld) who neither of them knows just don’t leave. Things escalate from head games to knife games, and Birmingham cunningly mixes mysteries you’ll see through — the identity of the party-crashers isn’t too difficult to guess — with feints and twists that are more surprising. It’s nice to see a thriller that is as unsettling for what doesn’t happen as what does. In Mali Elfman’s Next Exit , undisputable evidence of life after death changes the world, with an epidemic of suicide among those eager to move on to an incorporeal state. Two volunteers — longtime screw-up Rose (Katie Parker) and aimless Teddy (Rahul Kohli) — make a cross-country trip to an institute where they will be killed as part of a project to explore the afterlife. They go through the five stages of romcom (indifference, hostility, sex, crisis, love) on the road to deaths/transfigurations they might not be so keen to rush into now they have each other. Yes, it’s a riff on The Sure Thing with an afterlife as the illusory promise at the end of the road. The concept could easily make for a ten-part streaming miniseries, but the characters’ journey (in several senses of the term) is engaging as is. A smart, quiet, unexpected little picture. Sean Ellis’ Eight For Silver (aka The Cursed) offers pleasingly retro gothic horror and knowing variations on The Wolf Man. In the 19th century, a land dispute is settled when the local bigwig (Alistair Petrie) orders the massacre of a Roma tribe. Supernatural vengeance ensues, courtesy of a set of silver-fanged dentures. A pathologist (Boyd Holbrook) and a cursed boy’s mother (Kelly Reilly) investigate, but tragedy escalates, leaving many mangled corpses in the woods. The critic and novelist selects the month’s weirdest home-ent releases CULT HERO OF THE MONTH NOAH SEGAN Noah Segan is a recurrent presence in Rian Johnson films — hilariously deadpan as the slacker you keep being told not to pay attention to in Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery. He’s been in a lot of edgy indie horror — Deadgirl, Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever, Someone’s Knocking At The Door, Starry Eyes, Some Kind Of Hate, The Mind’s Eye, The Pale Door — and wrote and directed an episode of Scare Package. In Blood Relatives, his feature debut as writerdirector, he plays a Jewish vampire cruising America in a leather jacket and classic muscle car. He has to change his ways when a fanged teenage girl (Victoria Moroles) claims she’s his daughter. For my money, it’s a more affecting odd-couple monster roadtrip movie than Bones And All, consistently taking surprising, wry side-trips. Naturally, he shows up early, as a sheriff, in the Johnson/ Natasha Lyonne mystery show Poker Face. ↑ APRIL 2023 107
eyes”. “He learned it during the Hallmark stuff. Billy’s good too. He’s good at making love with the camera. We went through so many cameras.” Which is cute. FIGHTING IN BED “All of my movies have sex scenes. Even The Muppets,” laughs Stoller. (He’s kidding about that last one, we think.) And that’s true of Bros, as our intrepid meeters do actually meet, and then date, and then get down to business in a protracted sex scene that turns into a weird fuck-fight. Feet and fists flailing all over the place. “These are two characters who are really attracted to masculinity, but they also don’t want to be vulnerable,” explains the director, who admits that not all the sexy shenanigans made the cut. “We had a rim-job scene, [filmed using] a $30,000 rig. It was a shot where Luke is smiling very beatifically and then we revealed the butt and he goes to town on the butt. We ended up not using it, but the butt-rig you can see at Planet Hollywood.” IS SHE MESSING? Debra Messing, gay icon thanks to her role as Grace in Will & Grace, shows up for a cameo that gleefully punctures her reputation as a gay icon thanks to her role as Grace in Will & Grace, effing and blinding at Bobby after he overshares with her. “Debra’s a comedy icon, an icon of gay culture, and one of the most famous allies out there. I thought it would be funny if she just lost her mind at him,” laughs Stoller. “When we shot that, Debra said to me, ‘I’ve never cursed before in a movie!’ She’s really good at it.” Fuckin’ A. CONFIDENCE MAN Suddenly, all the yucks stop for a scene in which Bobby gets serious about the struggles he’s faced as a gay man all through his life, and the confidence he’s required (and often faked) to get as far as he has. It’s a deeply personal monologue from Eichner, and it’s met with Stoller’s most confident piece of direction — no music, just a close-up getting ever tighter. “We’d been working on the movie for about NICHOLAS STOLLER (DIRECTED) and Billy Eichner’s (wrote; starred) Bros may not have fared well at the box office when it was released last year, but it remains a sharply observed and winningly performed comedy that follows the burgeoning relationship between Eichner’s Bobby and Aaron (Hallmark romcom stalwart Luke Macfarlane), both of whom are commitment-phobes in very different ways. Here, Stoller talks us through the movie’s key moments. THE EYES HAVE IT Is a meet cute a meet cute if the meeters cute don’t really meet (while being cute)? That’s the question posed in Bros, when Bobby and Aaron lock eyes across the crowded dance-floor of a gay club. “Luke is really fucking a camera,” laughs Stoller. We assume he means “with his Bros A deep dive into the must-see moments from the month’s big release 108 APRIL 2023
a year and I didn’t really understand why Bobby hasn’t dated someone before,” says Stoller. “I asked Billy, ‘How about you?’ And he opened up and told me a version of that monologue story. It was very different, it was about his life, but it was a version of it. And I responded, ‘That’s going in the movie.’” Initially, Stoller cut the monologue way down, but worked up the nerve to test the longer version with audiences. “It worked great. It was a lesson for me too, to realise that you can slow down and have essentially a purely dramatic scene in the middle of your comedy.” FOUR IN A BED Much has been made of Bros’ unstinting dedication to showing gay sex on screen in a romcom. Not so much has been made of its dedication to making it funny, with a hot threesome between Bobby, Aaron and Aaron’s former high-school crush turning into a super-awkward foursome thanks to the arrival of a dweeby little guy called Steve (Brock Ciarlelli). “We didn’t have a ton of time to shoot that,” admits Stoller. “We had to figure it out on the fly. But that actor is really funny, and he’s shorter than the rest of them. I was like, ‘Oh, this will be funny if everyone’s being nice to Steve, but nobody wants him there.’” BOBBY FLAYED With things going swimmingly, Bobby — who has never had a meaningful relationship — presses the self-sabotage button hard during a dinner with Aaron’s parents, erupting into an argument about gay education for kids with Aaron’s schoolteacher mother (Amanda Bearse). “There was basically no improv in that scene; it was very carefully constructed,” says Stoller. “Any time we tried anything, it ruined the construction of the scene. We talked about the way you’re always dating your mother or father in some Freudian way. [The character played by] Amanda Bearse is like [the character played by] Billy, and she won’t drop it, but in a very polite way. There’s something very subconscious happening there where Luke’s attracted to Billy, and she’s Billy. We thought that was funny.” LOVE SONG No romcom is complete without the central couple breaking up for a spell, or a lavish show of affection designed to mend the fences. Bros manages both, with Bobby displaying (hitherto hidden) incredible musical ability to sing a Garth Brooks-inspired country song for Aaron at the opening night of his gay museum’s new exhibit. “I was saying to Billy, and Billy agreed, that Bobby needed to make some kind of grand gesture. Originally, that was the speech he gives at the museum, but that wasn’t specific to Luke.” So Eichner went off, inspired by Macfarlane’s real-life love for Garth Brooks, and came back two weeks before the end of the shoot with ‘Love Is Not Love’. “We shot it live, which I’ve never done before, but it was pretty amazing.” This never happens at the Tate. CHRIS HEWITT BROS IS OUT NOW ON DVD, BLU-RAY AND DIGITAL APRIL 2023 109
is the film that crystallised that in the public’s mind, that over-the-top patina. I think he’s really brilliant at playing over-the-top characters and finding humanity, but that just feels like a pantomime. Nick: In the early phase, he does remarkable work with his eyes. When I think of The Godfather, my favourite scene is in the restaurant where he’s just sitting there and there’s that very long close-up of him. His eyes are darting and you can tell what he’s thinking just by what he’s doing with his eyes. Ian: It’s there in Carlito’s Way as well, that melancholy. Chris: There’s a scene where he is watching Penelope Ann Miller dance, and he’s on a rooftop and the rain’s pouring down on him, and he’s captivated by her. It’s one of the greatest pieces of and how hard they are, in order to try and definitively prove who is hardest. Chris: Well, they’ve now been in three movies together and De Niro has killed Pacino twice, but Pacino has killed De Niro only once. So canonically, Robert De Niro is tougher. Dan: I’ll update the chart. Nick: Dick Tracy was my gateway into Pacino. Is he any good in it? It’s hard to tell. He’s loud. Chris: He’s very loud. There are several distinct points to Pacino’s career. If you look at the early stuff, there’s this lovely naturalistic style. The broader, shouty stuff didn’t come in until he came back after taking four years off and started doing things like Scent Of A Woman, the movie he won his Oscar for. Ian: I think Scent Of A Woman Chris: When did we first encounter Al Pacino? Ian: I grew up in a Godfather household. Dan: You were in the Mafia? Ian: Yeah. And there was a TV version of it where it was cut into episodes. We had it on VHS. That’s where I first saw him. Chris: Wasn’t it in chronological order? You would have taken a long time to get to him. Dan: I think my first encounter was the novelisation of Scarface. My dad had a copy and I grabbed it and started reading it, and then my mum found it and took it off me because I was too young. I never got past that. And the irony is, when I saw the movie I didn’t like it. But Heat was one of the first movies I ever wrote a feature about, for my student newspaper. I did a chart of Pacino and De Niro, OUR CRITICS IAN FREER Where does he keep his Al Pacino boxset? In his “Attica! Attica! Attica!” NICK DE SEMLYEN Loves ranking Pacino films. It keeps him sharp, on the edge, where he gotta be. CHRIS HEWITT Carrying extra choc weight. He knows itwas you, Freddo, and it broke his heart. DAN JOLIN Wishes Dunkaccinos existed in real life. Say hello to his chocolate blend. Four Empire writers. Eleven movies. Ordered definitively. Al Pacino movies 110 APRIL 2023
6 7 8 9 10= 10= 4= 4= 3 2 beneath it. I did not feel the humanity of Tony Montana. Chris: Does anyone else have any shocking Pacino opinions you want to share? Does anyone not like Heat, for example? Nick: I love Heat, but his performance is not one of my favourite things. That to me is one-note Pacino. The burnedout, coked-up cop is a cliché. Chris: I disagree with that. I think he’s great. Vincent Hanna is always restless, always on the move, always in perpetual motion. And there’s a lot of bluster to him, but he’s projecting a public persona. He’s capable of great compassion, even to De Niro. Nick: The diner scene is incredible. It’s just a bit too shouty for me overall. Ian: You can draw a line from Vincent Hanna back to Serpico. Both characters are so bloodyminded. It’s all about getting the thing done. You feel in Serpico that he’s driven by that as much as he’s appalled by the corruption of the NYPD. Chris: Heat is probably my favourite Pacino, even more so than the Godfathers. How do you assess his performances in the first two Godfathers? Ian: Very different. One’s a college boy turning into a gangster. The other is the decline of the gangster. Chris: It’s the creation of a monster. The slow stripping away of anything that could be considered human in Michael Corleone. Nick: I went with the first one by a nose, because it has that arc. Ian: It has the best lie in movie history, where Diane Keaton’s Kay asks Michael if he killed Carlo, and he goes, “No.” And it’s a fucking brilliant lie. Dan: I like The Godfather a lot more than Part II. It’s not by a nose for me. The Godfather is just a perfect film. Chris: Sticking with gangster flicks, I’ll admit I’m not a huge fan of The Irishman. But his death scene in that is one of the great death scenes. Spoilers for anyone who thinks Jimmy Hoffa might be alive. But there’s a moment when De Niro shoots him and he has just enough time to emit this sound — just non-verbal acting in his career. We think of him as gruff, but he’s very romantic in that moment. I love Carlito’s Way. You fall in love with Carlito Brigante in a way that you don’t with Tony Montana. And yes, I understand that you’re not meant to fall in love with Tony Montana. Dan: I think Scarface is vastly overrated. The style of it has overtaken everything. It’s a better poster than a movie. Nick: Isn’t the point that Tony Montana’s entire life is just style? Dan: Maybe. But I think it’s an ugly film. Nick: I agree he’s unlikeable and horrible to everyone, but I think it’s a genius film and a genius performance. Dan: But with Michael Corleone or Lefty in Donnie Brasco, I always feel the humanity a groan, but there’s so much packed into that sound. Nick: That whole stretch is heartbreaking. He brings this puppy-dog innocence to it. Dan: There’s a lot of similarities with Donnie Brasco, the character in that. Chris: Oh, the end of that movie is heartbreaking too, where Lefty knows he’s gonna get whacked and he takes off all his stuff and leaves it in his house. He kisses his ring and leaves it for his wife. Dan: I’m actually tearing up as you’re describing that. Chris: I’m tearing up because you’re tearing up. But we haven’t really talked Dog Day Afternoon. He did two movies with Sidney Lumet and they’re both incredible. Ian: He’s interested in the paradoxes of power. In Dog Day Afternoon, he’s somebody who becomes powerful from this media event. In The Godfather, he’s someone who’s impinged by his power and defeated by it. Nick: It doesn’t feel like a relic, that film. It still has so much energy. Chris: His ’70s run was amazing, but he also had an incredible run when he came back after his hiatus. He makes Sea Of Love, Dick Tracy, Frankie And Johnny, Scent Of A Woman, Carlito’s Way, Donnie Brasco, The Insider with Michael Mann, and Any Given Sunday. You talk about the great Pacino moments — that “inches” speech has become iconic. Ian: It’s just this fantastically delivered monologue. Chris: But I’m going to say something controversial. He also made Glengarry Glen Ross in 1993, and I think that’s got the best acting and the best cast of any Al Pacino movie. Nick: He’s a bit overshadowed. Alec Baldwin’s got the flashiest role. Then I think of Jack Lemmon, and then I think of Pacino after that. Chris: I don’t think there’s a weak link, including Jonathan Pryce, who plays a man called Lingk, who is weak. Ian: Is it better than The Godfather? No. Chris: Alright, enough Illustration: Jacey squabbling. Let’s vote! HEAT (1995) Chris: “Ignore those who think this is Pacino with the CAPS LOCK STUCK. Vincent Hanna is tender and tired.” THE GODFATHER PART II (1974) Ian: “A gangster sequel is turned into a Shakespearean tragedy, Corleone one of film’s great doomed anti-heroes.” DOG DAY AFTERNOON (1975) Ian: “Pacino’s nervy would-be bank robber is compulsive, compelling and complex. God-level shit.” CARLITO’S WAY (1993) Dan: “De Palma and Pacino’s finest collaboration. There’s an aching soul beneath that slick gangster surface.” SCARFACE (1983) Nick: “Lurid? Yes. Trashy? For sure. But Pacino’s Cuban kingpin is one of his most downright entertaining roles.” GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS (1992) Chris: “Pacino at his slickest and smoothest as suave salesman Ricky Roma.” SERPICO (1973) Ian: “Whistleblowing cop Frank Serpico is a brilliantly realised misfit, going from naive rookie to broken soul.” DONNIE BRASCO (1997) Dan: “Pacino is just as impactful playing a low-level wise guy. As Lefty, he elicits sympathy for a scumbag.” THE INSIDER (1999) Dan: “It’s Russell Crowe’s film, but Pacino anchors it as the TV producer whose ethics cost him his career.” SCARECROW (1973) Chris: “This very early Pacino shows a more charming, comedic side. And then comes the heartbreak.” AGREE? DISAGREE? WRITE IN AND TELL US AT: [email protected] / @EMPIREMAGAZINE THE FINAL LIST THE GODFATHER (1972) Nick: “To watch this performance is to see a man’s soul slip away over 175 minutes. Peerless Pacino. A-1 Al.” APRIL 2023 111 1
Team Empire on the month’s essential movies Alamy PICK OF THE MONTH AFTERSUN OUT 20 FEBRUARY / CERT 12 / 101 MINS A woozy, sun-kissed ’90s resort holiday with a father (Paul Mescal) and daughter (Frankie Corio) forms the basis of writer-director Charlotte Wells’ staggeringly impressive debut film. There’s a lot going on here, and also — in the lazy, long summer days — seemingly nothing at all. Told through home-video footage and flashbacks, it’s a portrait of the complex, ever-evolving relationship we have with our parents (and our memories), and a perfect distillation of that cliff-edge moment in childhood when adulthood is just around the corner yet many miles away. The filmmaking is often experimental, yet bold enough to have Chumbawamba and the ‘Macarena’ on the soundtrack. A very special, sad, evocative film. JOHN NUGENT MARTIN OUT 27 FEBRUARY / CERT 18 / 95 MINS He might be best known as the king of the zombies, but George Romero’s criminally underloved 1977 detour into matters vampiric might well be his masterpiece. John Amplas plays the titular teen, who prefers razor blades and hypodermic needles to physically chowing down on his victims. While he becomes micro-celebrity ‘The Count’ on local radio, elderly relative Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) fears the boy is the victim of a family curse and plans to stake him. Romero locates his horror in the poverties of his beloved Pittsburgh, both emotional and physical, and ponders the ambiguity of Martin’s character with sympathy and sadness. Nominally about monsters, Martin is achingly human. Romero thought it his best work. He may have been right. ADAM SMITH ARMAGEDDON TIME OUT 20 FEBRUARY / CERT 15 / 124 MINS After trekking up the Amazon (The Lost City Of Z) and journeying to space (Ad Astra), James Gray returns to the milieu of his previous work, the suburbs of New York (here Queens), for his most personal film to date. He tells the (mostly) true story of 12-year-old Paul (Banks Repeta), aka Gray, and his friendship with African-American Johnny (Jaylin Webb) in the early ’80s. The performances — both kids, Anne Hathaway and Jeremy Strong as Paul’s parents, Anthony Hopkins as his kindly grandpa — are excellent, and Gray pulls few punches about his father’s proclivity for violence or his own obnoxiousness, crafting a moving, unflinchingly honest autobiographical tale — even filming near his childhood home. MARK SALISBURY SHE SAID OUT 6 MARCH / CERT 15 / 131 MINS She Said, a dramatisation of New York Times journalists Megan Twohey and Jodi Kantor breaking the story of the sexual-abuse allegations against Harvey Weinstein, had a really tough job — examining the failings of Hollywood whilst existing within it. Thanks to two magnetic performances by Carey Mulligan and Zoe Kazan; restrained, dignified directing by Maria Schrader; and its ability to not shy away from the uncomfortable details but also not sensationalise them, it just about succeeds. It’s slow, patient, and weaves together the personal and professional lives of Twohey and Kantor well — and despite falling into some ‘worthy journalist drama’ tropes, it’s a compelling retelling of a story that changed the industry forever. SOPHIE BUTCHER HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD OUT 27 FEBRUARY / CERT 18 / 101 MINS Now known by a partial translation of its Italian title, L’Inferno Dei Morti Viventi, this 1980 schlock classic (formerly Virus) is Zombie Creeping Flesh to many — the title it bore on the list of video nasties liable for seizure under the Video Recordings Act of 1984. Imagine Margaret Thatcher and Mary Whitehouse cackling like Disney villains as they toss some horror fan’s precious, blurry panand-scan cassette into a furnace. Well, now that fan can own a gorgeous, uncut, widescreen Blu-ray of the uproarious knock-off of a knock-off (Zombie Flesh Eaters) of Dawn Of The Dead. It has a great Goblin soundtrack, hilariously gruesome effects, and all the hop-back-in-the-Jeep-and-onto-thenext-attack action you could wish for. KIM NEWMAN TRIANGLE OF SADNESS OUT 20 FEBRUARY / CERT 15 / 148 MINS Eat the rich, throw them back up again and then torch the place. That’s more or less the message of Ruben Östlund in his English-language debut, a sprawling satire of excess in all its forms. He uses less a plot and more a series of vignettes about a couple of influencer/model types invited on a yacht trip for the super-wealthy — only for things to go grotesquely wrong when a storm hits and everyone gets spectacularly seasick. Oh, and then things get worse, not least thanks to Woody Harrelson’s socialist captain. The late Charlbi Dean stands out as influencer Yaya, but Dolly de Leon, as cleaner Abigail, makes the most lasting impression. It’s a little too long, but it’s filthy, funny and thoughtful under all the madness. HELEN O’HARA 112 APRIL 2023
COMPETITION ENDS 13 MARCH HOW TO ENTER Take the letters from each coloured square and rearrange them to form the name of an actor, director or character. Visit www.empireonline.com/crossword and fill out the form, along with your answer, in the provided field. Entry is free and closes at midnight on 13 March. Winners are selected at random. See below for terms and conditions. MARCH ANSWERS ACROSS: 1 Ealing comedy, 7 Charlie, 9 Carlo, 10 Paul, 11 Jane Eyre, 14 Stain, 15 Alpha, 19 Zemeckis, 21 Eric, 23 Chain, 24 Van Dyne, 25 Javier Bardem. DOWN: 1 Escape, 2 Nell, 3 Caesar, 4 Michelle, 5 Dirty, 6 Hope, 8 Adult, 12 Rea, 13 Visconti, 14 She, 16 Harry, 17 Silver, 18 Scream, 19 Zack, 20 Moana, 22 Anya. ANAGRAM: JONATHAN MAJORS TERMS AND CONDITIONS: One entry per person. Entries are free. Entries must be received before 14 March or will not be valid. The Competition is only open to people aged 18 and over who live in the United Kingdom and are not a Bauer employee or their immediate family. One winner will be selected at random from all valid entries. Competition promoted by H Bauer Publishing t/a Empire (“Empire”). Empire’s choice of winner is final, and no correspondence will be entered into in this regard. The winner will be notified, via email, between seven and ten days after the competition ends. Empire will email the winner a maximum of three times. If the winner does not respond to the message within 14 days of the competition’s end, Empire will select another winner at random and the original winner will not win a prize. Empire is not responsible for late delivery or unsatisfactory quality of the prize. Entrants agree to the collection of their personal data in accordance with Empire’s privacy policy: http://www.bauerdatapromise.co.uk/. Winner’s personal details will be given to prize provider to arrange delivery of the prize. Bauer reserves the right to amend or cancel these terms or any aspect of the competition (including the prize) at any time if required for reasons beyond its control. Any questions, please email [email protected]. Complaints will not be considered if made more than 30 days after the competition ends. Winner’s details available on request (after the competition ends) by emailing [email protected]. For full T&Cs see http://www.bauerlegal.co.uk/competition-terms.html It’s a board-game bonanza this issue, with six fab film- and TV-related titles from Funko Games up for grabs. Feast your eyes — and brains — on the Ted Lasso Party Game; Rear Window; Jurassic World: The Legacy Of Isla Nublar; Disney’s Kingdomania; Disney’s Mad Tea Party, and Funko Pop! Puzzles, featuring Elf, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Avatar: The Last Airbender. Loved watching them on screen? Now step inside the stories. We’ve got a bundle of all the games up for grabs. If you’d like to be in with a chance of winning them, crack the crossword, solve the anagram and follow the entry instructions below — that last bit should pose no problem for you gamers. FOR MORE INFORMATION AND TO BUY, VISIT FUNKOEUROPE.COM ACROSS 1 “The passion burns deep” ran the tagline of this Brat Pack flick (2,5,4) 8 Hitchcock film starring Tippi Hedren (3,5) 9 Ivan Reitman political comedy (4) 11/16 Across His most recent films are White Noise and 65 (4,6) 13 The — (Alexander Skarsgård-Nicole Kidman film) (8) 15 Beeban, who made number two in the Bridget Jones trilogy (6) 16 See 11 Across 19 Weapon of choice of Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s Huntress (8) 20 Peter, director of Battleship and Deepwater Horizon (4) 22 Jon Favreau film served up in 2014 (4) 23 Paul Thomas or Paul W.S. (8) 25 Live And Let Die’s voodoo villain (5,6) DOWN 2 Ready Player One’s Sheridan (3) 3 She is part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away (4) 4 Park Chan-wook thriller and Spike Lee remake (6) 5 Easy Rider’s genre — or a film about 16A? (4,5) 6 Aggressive moves from the 50 Foot Woman or the Killer Tomatoes (6) 7 It can describe Girls or Streets (4) 10 As told in LA, Tokyo and the West Side (5) 12 She’s been played by Judi Bowker, Alexa Davalos and Rosamund Pike (9) 14 Aka Top Gun’s Nick Bradshaw (5) 17 — Bull (Martin Scorsese movie) (6) 18 Vantage and Vanishing, or royalties (6) 19 Pixar animation about a boy named Miguel (4) 21 Brigitte, who was Maria and machine in Metropolis (4) 24 He’s the Ice Age sloth (3) CROSSWORD AND COMPETITION SIX FILM AND TV BOARD GAMES FROM FUNKO GAMES APRIL 2023 113
a ladder and, keeping his hood up, watches Spartacus intently. It’s very quiet. Steam fills the air. DAVID: You did the right thing. Spartacus stops washing and looks quizzically at David. DAVID: Every once in a while, Marcellus likes to kill a man as an example. I think he’s picked you. Better watch him. SPARTACUS: How long have you been here? DAVID: Six months. DIONYSIUS: I wish he’d pick me. All I want is just one chance at that pig before they carry me out. A soldier yells down from the upper level. SOLDIER: Quiet! No talking down there! All of the gladiator-slaves look up. One of them reproaches Dionysius. SLAVE: Dionysius, you’ll get us all in trouble, just like in the mine. Draba, meanwhile, has taken the opportunity to walk over and take the place by the water trough right next to Spartacus. As he splashes his face with water, Spartacus notices him. SPARTACUS: What’s your name? Draba looks at him. DRABA: You don’t wanna know my name. I don’t wanna know your name. Spartacus bristles a little. SPARTACUS: Just a friendly question. DRABA: Gladiators don’t make friends. If we’re ever matched in the arena together, I’ll have to kill you. INT. STEAM ROOM — DAY Spartacus (Kirk Douglas) is washing himself and tending his wounds sustained earlier that day, along with some other gladiator slaves including David (Harold J. Stone) and Dionysius (Nicholas Dennis). At the back of the room, Draba (Woody Strode) descends down Michael Douglas: “I don’t know why it comes to mind, but I remember the scene in Spartacus with my father where he was in slave-trading with Woody Strode. And Woody Strode is being kind of distant. And finally Woody Strode says, ‘You don’t want to know me; I don’t want to know you because I may have to kill you some day.’ As a young kid, that leaves a lasting impression.” Spartacus Chosen by MICHAEL DOUGLAS 114 APRIL 2023