Successful Thesis Statements - stjohns-chs.org

Successful Thesis Statements

Review the following successful thesis statements and
comments in order to improve your thesis statements!

Notice that there are two prompts J

To what extent can Winston be considered a hero in Orwell’s novel 1984?

Winston is not a hero because of the action and While the argument is clear, the plan is
decisions he takes throughout the novel. In the final too drawn out for a thesis statement. I

chapter Winston gets overthrown by the power of might consider bringing up the “real
big brother. A real hero might get temped by the hero” in the conclusion, but not as part
villain but never gives into the pressure, Winston
not only is temped but gives into the big brothers of the plan here.

propaganda messages and ways. This thesis statement is overall very
successful, but the second example
In Orwell's novel 1984, Winston does not fit the (Winston’s lack of “memorable actions”)
categorization of an archetypal hero for the seems like it would be hard to develop.
following reasons: in the end of the novel, he Wouldn’t it be more effective to provide

establishes his love for Big Brother which therefore examples of a character DOING
makes him a follower of the state and it disregards something instead of NOT doing
any of his previous attempts to rebel and Winston
did not make any memorable actions throughout
the course of the novel that would make him heroic.

In the novel 1984 by George Orwell, Winston cannot something?
be considered a hero because he was not willing to This thesis statement is concise and
start his own rebellion, he never sacrificed himself organized. Great! However, like the last
for someone else, and in the end he relinquished one, it is hard to find an example of a
character NOT doing something. Focus
himself to Big Brother. on what Winston DOES do for your

In George Orwell's 1949 novel "1984" Winston proof.
cannot be considered an archetypal hero because at Remember that 1984 is a long work of
no point during the novel did Winston preform any literature, so if you are typing then the
heroic actions, and then in the end he was broken title should be handwritten. If you are
writing by hand, make sure the title is
by Big Brother and gave up on his plan to free
Oceania. underlined. Focus on what Winston
DOES, not what he DOES NOT do.
Winston may have gone against the Party, but that While there is an argument and a plan,
does not necessarily make him a hero. He did not the last portion of the plan is confusing:
save anyone. He did not change anything. The only what does it mean that the “only thing
thing he did was most likely to have given people he did was most likely to have given

even more fear. people even more fear”?
The writing is smooth, but remember to
Based on Winston's efforts and willingness to
change the world around him, Winston is a passive

hero who, although failing in the end, serves as the avoid contractions (“doesn’t”) and
underdog that doesn't have to win in order to colloquialisms (“the underdog”).
succeed.
Secondly, while there is an argument
here, there is no plan!

What is the role of fear in George Orwell’s novel 1984?

In George Orwell's 1949 novel, 1984, fear allows for the While the ideas are all here, the
inner party to control all actions across the state. The language could be more sophisticated.
party uses the characters’ fears, such as Winston's fear of
rats, to break them into submission so they will believe Why not use a word like manipulate

in the party’s message. instead of “break them into submission

so they will believe in the party’s

Fear acts as a catalyst for control and submission in the message”?
cases of O'Brien and Winston as it prompts them to take Fantastic! Be careful when using
analogies like this because sometimes
on the roles of puppeteer, who holds the strings and they can come off as childish, but I
puppet, which is manipulated with the tug if a string. think that this one works well because it

gives me as the reader of your essay a

better understanding of the

manipulative relationship you plan to

Orwell proves that everyone has fear, but they deal with analyze.
it in different ways. Winston has a fear of the unknown The plan of this thesis statement is
so he does not often act on his thoughts; Julia has a fear very clear, but the argument could be a
of conformity so her true personality is a stark contrast
little more sophisticated.
from her façade of the perfect Party member; and
O'Brien has a fear of independent thinkers like Winston “Fear…allows people to manipulate
them.” Who is “them”? Would it be
so he tortures him. better to write “Fear…allows the Party
to manipulate its citizens”? Be careful
Fear is an element that can distort the way one thinks
and allows people to manipulate them. Fear in the novel

1984 by George Orwell causes people to ignore the
actions of the party and alter their reality.

Fear enables the Party to psychologically manipulate the about these kinds of pronouns!
people from rising up against it. Fear dissuades Winston The argument in this thesis statement is
and Julia from formally opposing the party openly, and
very solid and interesting. The plan
ultimately leads to their downfall. could be stated in a clearer way.

In Orwell's novel 1984, he uses fear to dictate the actions The ideas are all here, but they are
of characters, such as Julia and Winston, to display the written across too many sentences. Try
complete control the Party has over its citizens. O'Brien,
condensing into a clearer and more
a member of the party, uses Winston's worst fear to concise structure.
make he say whatever O'Brien would like him to. Fear
Eek! There is a comma splice between
prevents Winston from starting a rebellion and “…maintain control over the people” and
eventually betraying Julia.

In George Orwell’s novel 1984 fear plays a role in that it
is the main way of control over the people of Airstrip

One and the rest of Oceania. The fear the party instills in

the citizens is how they maintain control over the “they fear for their lives…” Look out for
people, they fear for their lives and thus do not revolt. comma splices please! Otherwise, there
The party has many tactics that will make the citizens is a clear argument that responds to the
become fearful, this fear effects the people is Oceania in
demands of the question. The plan,
many different ways. however, is not so clear.

George Orwell presents the subject of fear in his 1949 I do not know what is meant by fear
novel 1984 as an ideal presentation of reality that an being an “ideal presentation of reality,”
individual can face in life, portraying the strength, but fear not being a “manipulator but a
courage and change one can obtain, showing that fear motivator” is very interesting. However,
does not have to be a manipulator but a motivator to aid
what is the plan for proving this
an individual to self determination. argument?

Orwell's novel 1984 uses fear to enter the emotions and What does it mean to “enter the
minds of his readers. Fear is shown through Winston emotions and minds” of readers? Also,

and Mr. Parsons and their reactions to the Party. “fear is shown” is strange wording.
Why would Big Brother instill fear in the
In the novel 1984 by George Orwell, Big Brother instills citizens of Oceania? What is the point?
fear in the citizens of Oceania by controlling each aspect
of their lives and having very harsh punishments if they Remember, it is not enough to declare
that fear is a feeling that exists; you
choose to go against him. must also consider why and to what

In George Orwell's 1949 novel, 1984, fear is a method effect Orwell depicts that fear.
that is used for manipulation. People fear Big Brother While the basics of this are okay, I have

and his laws making them obedient fearing the the same comment as the last thesis
consequences of breaking the laws and being tortured. statement. The argument could be more
thoughtful and more critical because you

have not considered WHY fear is
important to depict. That being said, I

like that you connected fear to
manipulation, which gives it some sense
of purpose within the plot even if the

function has not been considered.