MARAHUYO Layout

7 Must see art





Literary

pieces on



Body &
from

Desire ALL



OVER


THE




Feat. Brainstorm WORLD



Cesar Legaspi is one of the pioneers of
neo-realism. Interestingly enough, he
is color-blind.
















LITERATURE LIMITED EDITION ART

about the authors









Naomi Amparo is a physics student at De La Salle University. She is currently

taking GELITPH as one of her courses. She loves to read fantasy, sci-fi, and

psychological thriller novels. During her free time, she writes short stories for
fun.



Zephina Ruth Cua is a Legal Management major at De La Salle University. She

is a highly creative 21 year old with an entrepreneurial spirit and is passionate
about helping people realize their most authentic self. She is currently in a

happy fulfilling relationship that inspires her to do more very single day.





Patricia Rayos is 20 year old BS Pre Med Physics Student who is Currently
studying in De La Salle University. She loves reading Romance novels and

poetry but still has a variety of genres she too still loves.




Maxine T. Tan is a 21 year old BS Industrial Engineering minor in Information

Technology student from De La Salle University. She is someone that loves
sports and the outdoors. Maxine is currently trying to immerse herself in more

forms of art to try and see the world from different perspectives.





Jeanne Vicencio is a 21-year-old, Marketing student at De La Salle University.

Their pronouns are she/they and take interest in music, Asian psychological

horror films, and crystals.




Nathaniel Tugay is taking a BS in Physics with a specialization in medical

instrumentation at De La Salle University. He loves listening to music and
watching Netflix series and movies. He also has an interest in making films and

won awards when he was in high school.

CONTENTS


















4 Clockwork

a poem by Zephina Cua



8 The Wanting to be Desired


a poem by Patricia Rayos


10 Narcissus

a haiku by Naomi Amparo


11 Goodbye

a personal essay by Maxine Tan


14 Hide & Seek


a poem by Nathaniel Tugay


16 One or the Other and None at All


a poem by Jeanne Vicencio


18 The Mardi Gras Girl


a short story by Naomi Amparo

ZEPHINA CUA





Clockwork
Clockwork













Time moves forward no matter who gets left behind...

Everything went on like clockwork,

Like there was nothing wrong,

How can he bear to do so


When he beat me up, till I was

So broken and torn?





He said, “Come back to your senses,”


She said, “We only want what’s best,”

But he cut me off from my very life


Then threw me out to the streets like some pest.






Everything went on like clockwork,

But this is no longer the life I had known,


Some would say that I traded downwards


Still this is the life I'd always wish to sown



Because all the privilege and money in the world


Cannot compare to his beauty,

When I saw him I knew it would be the end,


Screw expectations, I had forgotten all sense of duty

To me it came like thunder,

Our eyes met, and I was in trouble,

Lightning struck but it didn’t sink in


till he came and asked me for my number




I was the only son in my traditional family,

To pass down the bloodline was my only purpose,


Reach greater lengths and ambitions in life,

To serve and protect from anything that would hurt us












Ironically, it was me that broke us apart

The days turn to nights, and every moment was


spent by his side.


And it was bliss to be touched by a man

And for once go along with the ride





He calls my name into the unknown,

And I have never been more understood


And when he kisses me then I know I’ve found

My Garden of Eden forbidden fruit

Everything went on like clockwork,

Till the secret I kept got out…





I can not say I’m not surprised,


My father always hated weak men,

Disowned and disgraced

My mother tolerated me but even then,

















The reputation must be kept…


I no longer exist in my family’s lives

I am finally happy


And It’s a man, not a woman I hold close at night



In the end, nothing has changed,


All became different but

Everything still went on like clockwork



The wanting to be desired






by Patricia Rayos





To have power over someone's body

To be someone who embodies


The Goddess of love Aphrodite

To pray to the Almighty.





That one day you’ll love me


And as you may see

Truly and ever deeply,


That I have fallen for you ever so quickly.




But you only want me when you desire,


Something so momentarily it expires,


I know I am just an object you lust.

But I will never let my love turn into dust.

Narcissus






by Naomi Amparo

Look at the mirror


Luscious lips, I long to kiss

Me, I long to touch

G o o d b y e








A personal essay by Maxine T. Tan




I had a best friend of 8 years. We met when we were


in our early teenage years, in our all-girls high school, we


were two young, sports-obsessed kids. As the years went by,

changes also graced us as individuals. I still remember the

conversation we had and the fear in his eyes as he came out


to me as bisexual. I smiled and gave him a hug and said

that’s alright and we moved right along. Then, years after, he


came out again and said he’s gay. I hugged him again and

went about our normal lives. Two years ago, he said he


identifies as a man, he said his pronouns were he and him,

and he gave me his new name for us to use. I was so happy


for him because I felt he was getting closer and closer to

inner peace. I always told him I was grateful for his bravery.


I saw the impact he had on some people, he gave them the

courage to stand up for themselves. However, contrary to the


ease and peace he gave others, he always struggled

internally.

His journey was tough and difficult because of the

constant confusion, doubt, hate, questioning of one’s

identity, and unacceptance from some people he cared about.


I always wished I could help him but there was nothing I

could do that could take some pain he was feeling. In reality,


all I could do was be there for him; through all of the

changes, no matter what. All I could give was constant


compassion, kindness, and support.



It has been ten months since he passed away. Ten


months later, I still have questions for him that I know he

probably would not be able to answer as well. I guess, I just


want to talk to him again. Ten whole months gave me a

chance to compress and remember all of our memories as

the realization hit that I would not be able to make any more


with him. I remember telling a close friend of ours, “if the

world were kinder, he would have still been here”. And I


firmly stand by that, if the world just provided a little bit

more understanding and acceptance, he would have still


been here, alive and living his best life. Oftentimes, people

are so quick to hate and judge just because someone is not


like them. But people always forget that everyone has their

reasons and struggles that have brought them to that point.

People always try to insert their beliefs into one’s


decisions about one’s body when in reality, it isn’t their

body and they have no right to make comments or decisions


about it.


There are no words to describe the pain of losing

someone. I just remember feeling heavy like a part of me


was gone and in disbelief that this was happening. The other

part of me, honestly, felt relieved. I knew how long he


battled sadness and confusion and I was just relieved that he

would not be in pain anymore. He could finally have the


peace he so desperately chased. I still miss him and all of the

memories we had. Everyday that he is not here is a day to


fight for what he did; equality for everyone regardless of

gender and sexuality. No matter how much I wish for him to


be here, all I could really say is, goodbye and I’m sorry the

world was not kinder to you.

Hide and










Seek













by Nathaniel Tugay

Playing hide and seek

Hiding my own image


Can’t recognize myself

Who am I?




Looking at the mirror


I feel differently

Saw a man


Why feel differently?



Hide and From the world
Hiding myself





Seek Figuring it out

What am I?




I am trapped

Can’t go out


I am scared

Should I just stay?




Quietly suffocating


Imagine wild and free

Feels like I'm in prison


How can I be free?

one or the other
one or the other
one or the other




and none at all
and none at all
and none at all
















































by jeanne vicencio

one or the other and none at all

by jeanne vicencio



girls like pink, and
boys like blue;
that’s just how it is,
that’s how it always will be.


girls play with dolls and dress-up,
boys play with cars and bugs;
that’s just how it is,

that’s how it always will be.

but what if i like to play dress up, and
go outside to play with bugs?

is that how it’s supposed to be?
is that how it always will be?

on some days, i only like cars and bugs,

on other days, dolls, and dress-up just isn't for me.
is that how it’s supposed to be?
is that how it always will be?


what if i like one of the other, but not both?
what if i’m not interested in any of them at all?
is that how it’s supposed to be?

is that how it will always be?

what if today i feel like a boy, and tomorrow a girl?
what if i don’t feel like any of the two at all?

is this how it’s going to be?
is this my new reality?

The








Mardi Gras









Girl






by Naomi Amparo

a short story

I was four years old when momma first took me to a

club. Cigarettes of wealthy men, loud music, neon lights,


and sweaty, half-naked girls dancing on firemen poles with

thick makeup like it was the Mardi Gras surrounded the


room. I didn’t know a better name so I called them just that -

Mardi Gras girls. From school, momma wanted me to go


straight to the club. This is where she worked, you see. I

would do my homework in the dressing room while momma

and the other Mardi Gras girls did their thick makeup in their


two-piece bikinis and lingeries.

When I was eight, I witnessed momma’s friend, Tia,


sobbing coming from the dance floor. When I asked her

what happened, she told me, “you be a good boy, Mike. You


just do your homework and treat your momma and girls with

respect, you hear me?”. I never saw Tia again.


I guess one would say that I’m odd for an eighteen-

year-old guy. Unlike my friend, Jeremy, I’ve never had a


girlfriend nor have I had sex. That’s the thing with seeing

my mother’s friends’ bodies every night since I was four. I


didn’t get excited when, Marie, a short girl with curly hair

from my Filipino class, explicitly got naked in front of me


and asked me to fuck her. When I said no, she never spoke

to me again.

I woke up from a daze as I felt a sharp pain when a

basketball hit my groin. My best friend, Jeremy, laughed


heartily. “Focus, Mike!”

“Sorry.” I said, massaging my groin.


“Why won’t you watch the game later anyway? It

could be fun, you know. You could hang out with some of


my other friends.”

“I’ll be with my mom tonight at the club.” This is only

partly true.


“Ah…” Jeremy stated dreamily.

Dripping with sarcasm, I replied, “Yeah. Hot.”


Jeremy threw the ball to me and finally asked, “You

know, in our years of friendship, you’ve never taken me to


that club before.”

What a horrific thought.


“No. You will see my mother and her friends.”

Another lie.


His disappointment is not hard to notice despite his

best efforts. “You’re right. That is weird.”


Jeremy was the only person who understood

momma’s job; maybe this is why he is my only friend.


“I should go. Malate is two trains away. I don’t want

to be late.” This is true.

I was walking toward the school gates, finally glad


that I won’t have to lie to Jeremy anymore. I looked back to

see his eyes sparkle as his other friends approached him.


Going to the club became a daily routine. I greet the

guards hello as I enter through the doors. I say hi to the


waitresses and they smile back. The familiarity is my

comfort zone. “We have a new girl, M. Maybe you could be


friends with her. Show her around.” The house mom said.

“Okay.”, I replied.


I then went to the dressing rooms and fixed myself.

Being in school definitely took a toll on my appearance. I


removed my clothes and dressed myself for the night.

When I’m done I approached the new girl. When she


turned, a short girl with curly hair from my Filipino class

stood in front of me, half naked in lingerie. She sized me up

from head to toe and with a look of understanding she said,


“So this is why you won’t have sex with me.”. I didn’t have


time to respond when the house mom called me and told me

that it’s my turn.

Confidence washed over me as I got on the stage. I


never felt more free, especially that for the first time, I saw

Jeremy in the crowd. I didn’t want him to come here, but he


did anyway. Stunned, his mouth remained open with shock.

And then slowly, as my performance came to a close,


I saw him looking at me with lustful eyes for the very first

time. Can he recognize me?


Tonight and many nights before, I’m not Mike with

the mom who’s a Mardi Gras girl.


Tonight, I’m the Mardi Gras girl.

Acknowledgements





The authors of this magazine would like to thank and

acknowledge the wisdom, guidance, and support given by

their professor, Mr. Mesandel Arguelles, PhD, throughout

the term. This output would not be possible without him.




The authors are grateful for their parents' and friends'

support, to whom the inspiration of their literary works are

attributed.




Lastly, the authors are grateful for each other's cooperation,

not only in this magazine, but also throughout the term.












Naomi Amparo Maxine Tan






Zephina Cua Nathaniel Tugay







Patricia Rayos Jeanne Vicencio

Art Cited







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