NAIAD DIARY

T

his book was devoted to the greatest love stories that
never happened, to the lost love at sea and those who nev-

er stopped searching for love.



To my Beautiful Mermaid, That had happened upon by chance. I never under-
stood love until I looked into your eyes. And that night under the moonlight,
you changed my world, But never did I imagine

That would be the only night that we shared, a night that never lives for me as
I watch you slip into the darkness of the sea. A night that has Kept me frozen
in time. As I continue to search the ocean in hopes of finding you again.

They say that love leaves you broke. But that night, under the moonlight, you
made me whole. As I set off to see every night, I know the chances of finding
you can never come. So as I sail into the wind,

My regrets in my heart of What if things could have been different, What if I
would have held you so tight then not even the ocean could take you
away. And what if I would have given you the only reason to stay
by having our Baby Girl,



Dear diary;

I have swarmed the ocean for over 20 years in search of you; I have
searched every cave in hopes of finding you. I have explored during
the day and under the moonlight, and all this time, I have stood bro-
ken,

I have felt lost, Because, without you, the ocean is the empty vase of
water, as I can only find peace at the bottom of the sea with my
dreams of what we used to be.

I have no idea how to Swim away, And the sea is not deep enough to
make me forget you. So I will continue to swim the ocean in search of
you until I waste away.........



Dear diary;

I know she has friends, kids, parents… or quiet alone. See, it was her life before
the affair. The affair added to her life when we could finally see each other. Mar-
riages usually stick; many mistresses know that. Kids need a dad; family needs
that income.

A marriage without love will find love without the union. Perhaps they save each
other's lives in some way. One could accept this situation after some time, But it
doesn't get easier with time, especially during the Holidays. It's like time stops,
and your heart goes cold,

Because you know there are no Christmas parties, No holding hands in New
York at Rockefeller Center under the Christmas tree. No kiss her under the Eif-
fel tower in Paris. No opening gifts Together on Christmas morning. But most of
all, no kissing her under the mistletoe.

And even if you had a chance to make things different, You know you can't, Be-
cause the thing she treasures the most will be the 1st thing to get hurt...Because
it's always about the kids...

So I find myself in the solitude of my cave with only the reflection of the Eiffel
tower in my heart..... As I try to hold on to everything because you know that one
day might be gone. And she might not come back. Because if you truly love her
you know you need to let her go….



Dear diary:

First of all, love is a joint experience between two persons — but the fact that it
is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience to the two peo-
ple involved. There are the lover and the beloved, but these two come from differ-
ent countries. Often the beloved is only a stimulus for all the stored-up love
which had lain quiet within the lover for a long time hitherto. And somehow eve-
ry lover knows this. He feels in his soul that his love is a solitary thing. He comes
to know a new, strange loneliness and it is this knowledge which makes him suf-
fer. So there is only one thing for the lover to do. He must house his love within
himself as best he can; he must create for himself a whole new inward world — a
world intense and strange, complete in himself. Let it be added here that this lov-
er about whom we speak need not necessarily be a young man saving for a wed-
ding ring — this lover can be man, woman, child, or indeed any human creature
on this earth.

Now, the beloved can also be of any description. The most outlandish people can
be the stimulus for love. A man may be a doddering great-grandfather and still
love only a strange girl he saw in the streets of Cheehaw one afternoon two dec-
ades past. The preacher may love a fallen woman. The beloved may be treacher-
ous, greasy-headed, and given to evil habits. Yes, and the lover may see this as
clearly as anyone else — but that does not affect the evolution of his love one
whit. A most mediocre person can be the object of a love which is wild, extrava-
gant, and beautiful as the poison lilies of the swamp. A good man may be the
stimulus for a love both violent and debased, or a jabbering madman may bring
about in the soul of someone a tender and simple idyll. Therefore, the value and
quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself. It is for this reason
that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the
lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is
intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of
reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his belove.



Dear diary;

What started to be a typical night at my house turned into a hungry feast of
my body, After a long day at work and a long evening at home with the fami-
ly.

I found myself alone While everyone slept, and Suddenly, I started thinking
of him; my body turned on like a switch as my children and husband slept
quietly Upstairs. I found myself texting him on the couch. It only took one
photo of me, And the words

I need you to come to my house NOW? Please, I'm hungry. The lights are off,
and the patio door is open... As the wetness of my body took over. I heard the
door sliding quietly open. Because this hunger is only for him,

I threw him down on my couch. I couldn't get enough of him in my mouth,
And then as I whispered in his ear, "I need you deep inside me," I felt my
panties being ripped off in the darkness of my house. I covered my mouth As
he continued to go deeper into my body, and just when he touched my soul,

I let out of the screen That I went through the quietness of the neighborhood.
I had to pull him out and run upstairs to check and ensure everyone was still
sleeping. But my body wanted more, so I grabbed the pillow from my bed and
headed back And only through the moonlight From the patio.

I handed him the pillow and asked him, "don't stop, don't stop." As he pound-
ed my body, the pillow muffled my screams; I knew that. That I have found
pleasure in the same man that I have loved all my life. But we lost track of
time. And fell asleep on each other in the darkness of my home.

Only to be awakened by the sunlight and the sounds and the sounds of my
boys. As I panicked, taking the pillow away from my face, I realized He only
came in my dreams, and only then did I know that my husband takes my
pussy for granted, and I have to get Big pillows for the couch. Before the next
full MOON.....



Dear diary:

Today I felt my hunger, Like I never felt it before, the wetness inside my body,
the desire of my heart, So I continued to swim through the depths of the ocean
lost at sea looking for him,

As the ocean salt touches my lips, all I can think about is licking the salt off his
body as I search for the sail of his ship under the moonlight.

And just like the wind, I need him to take care of my desires; I want to feel the
breeze of my desire. My rock is my bed, and I just lay here waiting for him to ride
my body As you feed my hunger.....



Dear diary:

Sometimes love can be so absent that you can only measure it through the cycle
of the full moon, a love that is absent not by distance, Because I sit here on the
same rock you left me, a love not absence by time Because I have loved you for a
1000 years, a love that not absence by greed. After all, you already belong to an-
other.

I love that this is not absent by being in between, Because this rock has become
my home. Because you're in love, leave me nowhere else to go..... And because I
know that I will see you on the other side..



Dear diary:

I think that the process of giving your true love to someone mainly surrounds the
act of opening a door inside that's all locked up. Behind that door lives the small
child that is the real you. The small child who hurts too much and feels too much
and laughs too loud and always believes...

True love involves unlocking the many padlocks on that door, taking her by the
hand, and guiding her to the arms of the one you've chosen to love. And I think
this is why some people change forever... because they loved someone in this way,
but it only hurt too much.

The little one was wounded. So this is why you take her back and tell her she's
better off staying inside. It is a poetic, lyrical tragedy. Some people die this way
before they ever are dead. Or maybe we don't die; perhaps we live on, behind that
door.

But what happens after unlocking all these doors, after ripping pages off the cal-
endar month by month, year by year. Only to finally see the light at the end of
the tunnel,

only for it to be extinguished by life because tomorrow's not a promise because I
just waited a lifetime for you only to lose you when I have you. What do I do?



Dear diary:

He says he loves me; He says I take his breath away. But as his ship sails out in-
to the night, I find myself yet in another storm alone...

I find myself asking why Does he continue to drift away into the night? How can
so much time go by before Is there's even a glimpse of him in my life.

When all I can do is think of you. When I have weather every storm on this Rock
With my heart anchored for you...

Because when you truly love someone, you find a way, you weather every Storm,
as you are faced with the same question over and over again,

"Why couldn't you just take me with you?"



Dear dairy:

You can shut tears because they are gone, Or you can smile because they
lived. You can close your eyes and pray they will come back,

Or you can open your eyes and see all that they left you. Your heart can be emp-
ty because you can't see them,

Or you can fill it with the love you share. You can turn your back on tomorrow
And live yesterday, Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You
can remember that they are gone,

Or you can cherish their memories and let them live on. You can cry and close
your mind and feel empty, Or you can do what they would want. Smile. Open
your heart and live...



Dear diary:

Her Love and loss,” he said, “are like a ship and the sea. They rise together. The
more we love, the more we have to lose. But the only way to avoid loss is to avoid
love. And what a sad world that would be...

Because She is an object of beauty and strength, I stand and watch her until, at
length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to
mingle with each other.

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side,
and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her
diminished size is in me, not in her.

There, she is gone! Other eyes are watching her coming and other voices ready to
take up the glad shout, "Here she comes! And there she goes...



Dear diary:

Eventually, the balance of everything washes away, And the same elements that
put things together will fade away by the same environment. Love is no different
because the same domain is pounding, darling. That affects all items on the
planet. Corrosion is a process managed by the existence of time.

A process that will determine if things will stay together forever or will eventual-
ly fade away, Just like the sun phase away from a bright color. Love can only be
forecast by two Fairies,

Either it is bounded together by the magnetic strength of negative and positive
Forces that attracted it or The love that is forced together by fusing rust and time
Into an unbreakable bond.

Maybe that's the reason people walk away when they see seashells suck in the
sand; The question doesn't become whether you want it or not, It's not whether
you're freeing it from the sand or disturbing it from home.

Maybe I'm starting to understand the weakness and the strength of a triangle,
Whether this triangle is fused, Just being held by a magnetic hold. Can the piec-
es ever be realized by time?



Dear diary:

Of course it is ok to be in love with someone who is married. Love doesnt know
martial status and marriage contracts. Heck I am going to propose that it is
even ok to act on it as long as it is mutual. If the married person loves you back,
then there is nothing wrong with either of you acting on that. In fact,

I find it kinder to the current spouses to leave them and let them find someone
who loves them instead of living a lie and forcing yourself to be with someone
you dont love for the rest of your life. That is not a recipe for success, only mis-
ery. Sticking with someone you dont love is not kindness or being responsible, it
is like eternal purgatory for all involved

ruin their life. That’s absurd!! Now they make not feel that way about you or
choose not to act on it in turn because of whatever (misplaced) sense of morality
or duty, and you have to respect that. But it doesnt constitute “ruin”. Love is a
gift. Most people go through life without someone giving a damn about them, let
alone love them.

That gift should not be trashed simply because it comes from someone you arent
married to. Plus, if the feeling is mutual then clearly it is an indication that
something is wrong in the other person’s marriage too. Happily married people
generally dont cheat on their spouses, you know?

Marriage is also not sacred or holy, it is a freakin contract! Nothing more and
nothing less. And if at any point people feel that they can no longer fulfill the
terms of the contract, then they should have the right to end it without everyone
taking out the pitchforks. Some of the responses I read here just make me shake
my head. mean seeing people foam at the mouth about the holiness of marriage
they make it sound more like a life sentence than anything.

.
Marriage should not equate to a life sentence without parole, which is exactly
what all these comments on here are making out to be by blaming you or making
it sound like you are committing some high crime or heinous transgression.

They also make it sound like the other person, the married one, had no say in
this. I mean what if the married person is also in love with you? Why it is all
your fault





Dear diary:

Lost without my last breath
Losing the love of your life and actually realizing it can take some time to sur-
face. There is pain on both sides when a breakup occurs. A time of healing.

A time when moving on begins and life slowly becomes happier. The pain sub-
sides, and you reflect on the lessons you learned and seek new love.

There are also times when this doesn’t happen. Where you find yourself thinking
of someone every day. Losing the love of your life is painful. You feel heavy with
guilt, and regret lives in your gut. It is often at this point you question yourself,
and think that this person you lost, has left a hole in your life that can never be
filled. When this moment is related to screwing up our relationship with another,
we often can’t see what we have also done to ourselves, because we are so focused
on the other person. Losing them is all we can think of and we fail to see that we
have also lost ourselves.

Life is tinted in winter hues and life is not moving on. Even in a state of no con-
tact for months, perhaps over a year… sometimes your connection to a person
who was emotionally available, good to you and loved you, just won’t fade away.

Attempts to begin dating again, to be in a new relationship, still leave you find-
ing yourself unable to disconnect. The feeling of wanting them and missing them
fills each day. The love you still hold for them doesn’t dwindle.

he guilt you feel for hurting this special person holds tight. When you think of
them, your heartstrings pull because you remember just how pure their intent
was. How they were always so consistent, so steady and so effortlessly able to be
themselves. Always there for you. No drama. No one else can measure up to
those qualities. WTF happened?

You may even dislike yourself at times because you know it was YOU that caused
the split and you are responsible for causing pain to someone you really value
and cannot move on from



Dear diary:

Just when you think you can be OK with it When knowing you can never reach
out When only distance protects you from tearing off her clothes. Because some-
times love never let you walk away,

You wake up every morning knowing your heart is stuck in quicksand. A loved
one than started 1,000 Moonlight ago.

It's not one woman; it's every woman because every woman looks like her. When
you think there can be no more, You get a text " He's next to me, But I'm think-
ing of you Te quiero

Knowing that her life will permanently be anchored to her children and the life
she lives with her other. In her Castle in the sand....

Many things were meant to be loved from a distance. Some love were never
meant to happen. Then you have the love that is for always & forever.

The emptiness of not being able to reach over the bed embracing and pushing
her into your Arms, Especially when her body's screaming out for you.

"Take me, Papi." As you fallen into the deepness of her eyes. When all you want
is hear the screams echo from her pillow..



Dear diary;

What do you do when love doesn't let you go? What do you do when love doesn't
let you walk away? Because you can't help who you love, Even though are heart
knows you will never have it again.

Because the price will be too high to pay. What do you do when everyone tells
you to leave it alone? She belongs to another, Even though you know her castle
is made out of sand.

But you will still protect it from washing away. What do you do when you know
that every love story was that ever written was written because it was never
supposed to happen. What do you do when you know with the last breath you
still love her and never regret anything. Because it's her , it was always her. and
I just wanted to be the one she love



Dear diary;

I find myself tossing and turning. I couldn't quite understand why as I Couldn't
pinpoint the unrest in my heart; holding my pillow so tight it almost held me
back.

And then it hit me clear as day I miss the echo of your voice it has gone quiet,
My ears long for the laughter in your voice. I missed the scent of you on my pil-
low; I missed the softness of your skin rubbing up against me.

But most of all. I miss watching you sleep With the reflection of the light from
the television on your beautiful face



Dear diary:

My parted heart When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of
ourselves, Is the emptiness of the lack of time without you As holding my Breath
is not enough, We are incomplete, like a book I two volumes of which the first has
been lost, at sea. This is what I imagine love to be... incompleteness in absence.

I can't get enough of her. Even though I know I cannot Breathe under the water,
I stay longer each time; II only feel complete when we're connected. But every
night I am paralyzed by her absence, only to be imprisoned by my jealousy of not
being with her in the morning. and never watched the sunrise in her eyes



Dear diary:

What if we never get a 2nd chance? What if our hearts never find happiness?
What if I realize I can't live without you. What if you know you never get a second
chance at love. What is the Everyone find out about us, What if I don't care,

What if I learned that from the moment you stumbled into my life from that lad-
der I know you We're the woman that God-created for me,

What if I had to live in sadness for the rest of my life because of it. What if I'm
happy living in the shadow of your wound.

What if the baby is mine. What if he realized after all the pain that we just love
each other And he did nothing wrong. What if I am scared to close my eyes In
the fear that I might never find you again.



Dear diary:

What if we never get a 2nd chance? What if our hearts never find happiness?
What if I realize I can't live without you. What if you know you never get a second
chance at love. What is the Everyone find out about us, What if I don't care,

What if I learned that from the moment you stumbled into my life from that lad-
der I know you We're the woman that God-created for me, What if I had to live in
sadness for the rest of my life because of it. What if I'm happy living in the shad-
ow of your wound.

What if the baby is mine. What if he realized after all the pain that we just love
each other And he did nothing wrong. What if I am scared to close my eyes In
the fear that I might never find you again. The anxiety of being lost without you I
think I felt my heart Break today. We take so many things for granted in life until
we Lose them Until we have to share them Until we realize we cannot go on with-
out them.

I have loved her my whole life, But a chain of events took her away from me many
years ago. But my heart never let go, and the decisions I made was based on find-
ing her. I thought I had it all under control until the night I kissed her again. Her
lips ignited the anxiety of my heart, Only to realize that I had been lost all these
years without her. Some people might find that strange.

But the truth of it is that the amount of love you feel for someone and the impact
they have on you as a person is in no way relative to the amount of time you have
known them. Unfortunately, the decision she made will keep her anchored forever,
But I am willing to live in the shadow of her love. The few minutes that she can
give me Keeps me from feeling lost. It keeps me from regretting not holding on to
Her so tight



Dear diary:

What if I never get over you, What if you would never stop looking, What if time
can give us back what we lost, What if I never find you again, What if I saw you in
every woman I've ever known, What if I told you I love you,

What if I held you So tight that not even God could take you from me, What if you
never stop screaming in my ear, What if my tongue never stopped looking to taste
you.....

What if I never see you again, What if you go back to him, what if our time runs
out....



Dear diary:
My heart wants to go on forever, but my soul is suffering from The emptiness &
loneliness of parallel love,

Life tends to keep you apart until that opportune moment. Will you be ready for
it? Most people aren’t, and they let it pass them by, not just once but time and
time again. When two people are attracted to each other, the universe does every-
thing to bring them together.

This phenomenon is naturally occurring, but some people are so resistant to their
calling that they blow their chances.

Instead of following their heart, they follow their mind and society instead. They
keep themselves occupied, going from one relationship to the next without any
pause — taking any person that can fulfill as many needs as possible at the time.