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- A collection of poem on the female daily fight with love, fear and loneliness. How long will you lay with toxicity just because it's what you know.


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Published by Black_Arts, 2019-12-09 20:23:16

Better The Devil You Know

- A collection of poem on the female daily fight with love, fear and loneliness. How long will you lay with toxicity just because it's what you know.


Keywords: black,black arts,devil,fear,scared,love


Better The Devil You Know

Copyright © 2019 by Black Arts

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To my fellow Queens:
Every time i write myself and my fellow sisters are incorporated in
the poems that relate to our private struggles and the stories that
detail our lives. You are never alone, always know there is someone
out there who has gone through it or is going through it too. I have
created a platform for the discussion that society says we shouldn’t
have and i have created a safe place for women like us to continue to
gravitate and assist each other where necessary. Keep your crown on

Contents 1
Full Moon 6
Soul Ties 9
Other Options 12
Loving You Is Wrong 14
Like You Do 16
Just Sex 18
The Other Woman 20
360 22
Deja Vu 24
Tricks Are For Kids 26
Bittersweet 28
My Devil 30
Nothing Beats Reality
About the Author


Full Moon

I honestly don’t know how i got here, i’m speaking
physically because mentally my mind isn’t where i’m at yet.
Siting under this moon i’m filled with memories of all that
i’ve been through, and i’m no punk, i live through it definitely
because everyone goes through things in life. That’s a fact! I
just felt like somewhere along the line i just thought i would
have known better, i would’ve done better, but i didn’t.

I’m in my feelings already, i’ve seen death too many times to
still be so emotional, where my heart was is now just a empty
space because i was naive enough to let the same man break
it over and over again. Many people say love is the answer
to everything and for a long time i thought it was, i reveled
in the idea of being loved and appreciated by someone. Sadly
though growing up they rarely teach the young girls how they
should be loved, we barely have fathers around to lead by
example with whatever woman in there lives. It’s hard out
here, one heart break after the other and as you grow older
sex becomes either more significant or less appealing , a fear
is created inside of you of when will that “soul mate” come,



of how many times will i have to do the same things over and
over again. Guy meets girl, girl has to either heal what scars he
comes with, prove her worth and why he should love her, earn
the trust, open up the skeletons, make the memories, do the
drama, then heartbreak, you either stay or you leave. The fear
of having to continuously go through the same process over
and over again is mentally draining to many women. It’s a cycle
most women are afraid of especially when giving your body is
involved because the judgmental world we live in says “it’s not
ok for a woman to pass a certain amount of sexual partners,”
as if it really matters. This is the life we live in, the life of lies,
revenge, lust, purposeless. I feel so many things and i’m angered
by it yet filled with acceptance over it in order for me to get
through the day. The thoughts in my mind are running like
the waves, rushing towards the shore, slightly kissing my feet
saying you will be ok, as i write:

“I love you in a way i don’t think anyone else would, and that’s
selfish of me to think, i know. I love you on the days when i hate
you. I love you on the days when you hate me too. I love you
for the raging storms that you bring to my land of peace and
harmony. I love you for every tormented memory of us that
keeps me up at night. I love you for every sweet remembrance
of us that makes me smile. I love you for the angel in your kiss,
the devil in your eyes. I don’t know if it’s the fear of moving on
but i admit i’ve tried. I just love the way only you can fuck up
my life and i accept that, because it’s better the devil you know,
than the stranger you don’t”

I can sit here and pour my soul into these pages and it still
wouldn’t matter, but let me tell you this. The more i write the



more the overwhelming feeling of loving you seems to vanish
and there is no pain, if i knew this was all it took i would’ve
poured my tears into a cup and washed this book with the
years of good and bad, scars and skeletons. I love how my
peace seems to be tingling in my fingers making its way back
through my body, the more i write the less i love you. I admit
it was about time i got rid of this fairy tale. It was about time
i actually breathed again on my own, makes me look back on
how i actually got here.
:Demi Lovato - Smoke & Mirrors



Soul Ties

H ere i am again, reveling in the smell of my pillows
lingering in his scent. I must admit i’m a bit sore
but our love making is always worth it. Sometimes
i wonder if i’m doing something wrong, knowing that all of
this is some sick fantasy, i’ve accepted what it is, i just find it
difficult to not believe in what it could be. Is it bad that we
keep ending up here, like no matter the time apart, we always
mesh so perfectly when we come back. Yet i’m caught in a jam
knowing that i’m a good woman and i deserve better, i deserve
someone that’s mine alone.

In a world full of so much turmoil will it even be possible for
me to find the love for me, the one for me. Am i even looking?
Should i even look? Why should i, when i know it’s him and
i prefer to lay with someone that has seen my soul, that has
scared my very innocent being. That always know exactly what
to do and what to say, even if it’s just for his personal gain.
There must be a reason why i keep coming back here, they say
if you love something let it go and if it comes back it was yours
to begin with. I’ve let go many times and stood my ground



but somehow we always end up right back here, in my bed,
between my sheets. I am literally convinced that you belong
with me, i’m just not sure if i want to make that a reality. I don’t
want to have to try what’s old to us with new people, teach
someone all over again how to love me, even though you drop
short countless times because i know you have no love for me.
It’s still an amazing feeling strangely, only now i’m convinced I
really do sound crazy.

“They say the bad shit feels good too, maybe that’s why i’m so
into you. They say the heart wants what it wants and if that’s
so then i must be confused because i gave you my heart. Now
i’m left with nothing to confide in. I’m being a realist i know
this shit isn’t real, the emotions i’m feeling are just from fear. I
keep asking myself why i’m being put back here, every time i’m
a step out from the finish line i turn around and run back into
your arms. I can help it but right now i choose not too because
running from you is hard. I can’t stick it out forever because
sometimes i die when you’re to far. If i’m being honest i don’t
know if it’s true but i gotta admit this soul tie is dangerously

Everyone says i should get a grip and i honestly feel like you
shouldn’t have to explain your actions because even with a
shoulder to lean on you’ll still be the only one in pain and crying.
So if sneaking with him is killing me, thanks guys, i just might
enjoy dying.

: Major Nine ft Tokyo Jetz -SoulTies



Other Options

I met this one guy who really sparked a different fire and
for a moment i imagined what it would be like without
you. My days were now spent thinking about him and
only him, my nights were spent in conversations that gave me
mental orgasms that i really was lacking. I knew i could be
better off without you, i knew if i stopped comparing everyone
to you that i could move on and find better. Couple months
in your long gone out of the picture and the scary part hits the
part where my walls have to come down and my expectation
of him knowing me like you do takes over. The fear of opening
up just to not be enough drives me nuts, the audacity i have
of thinking about all the things that could go wrong so i run
and cower underneath your painful arm because i am afraid of
the disappointment. Everyone says you gotta let go sometimes
but its not letting go that you gotta worry about its the idea of
letting go only to fall flat on your ass, that shit is painful going
through the whole process over and over again, do you know
how hard it is to do that shit? when you do get it right that
one time you pray to god that’s it, just so you won’t have to do



it over again. Every woman understands the fear of letting a
man in only to be greeted with a boy and sometimes no matter
how careful you are the clown shows its true face once the
rain washes the other make up off. So it only makes sense to
stick where i knew i got it right that one time, but for how long
thou? How long should i go back to the shadows and stay in the
darkness knowing what the light is like but fearing its burn?

“They say i could love you all i want, it wouldn’t make a
difference, and between all these options i’ve got. I’m amazed
at how you still manage to stay on top. maybe it’s because
i’m soulfully naked to you and new to them and i sit and
contemplate on all the times mommy said sometimes new shit
ain’t the best, how granny preached on how it’s always best
to go back to what you know. i took those teachings literally,
probably should’ve eased up on how i processed them mentally
because truth is, everything new isn’t bad sometimes you really
gotta step out of what you know to grow. How do you really
know if you have the best if that’s all you know? especially if
what you have is mixed in iron and fake gold. How would you
know what real love feels like, now that you already know what
a drug is and what love is not”

I fear the more i continue to hold on to you, the more god stop
sending me chances to finally let go. I could be missing my
blessing watching these options whither and die. I could stay
stuck here forever and it wouldn’t be a pretty place, i imagine
my life would be a little better if i learnt how to dance in the sun,
instead of always waiting inside until the rain came, sticking to
what i knew.






Loving You Is Wrong

I saw you post a picture today of you and her and i felt
something new that i’ve never felt before. It was a feeling
of rage and disappointment, not for anyone but myself.
I’d become the woman i never wanted to be and silly me was
looking at the picture like ‘I remember when that was me” was
this how the other women felt when you posted me, or did
they take pride? I can’t take pride in being someones skeleton
in there closet, i can’t take pride in being the unknown in her
love story. I just can’t. I was so angry i smashed my laptop and
kept hitting it against the floor, i kept screaming why? i kept
asking how? i didn’t expect an answer, i looked in the mirror
with a teary face and a bloody nose, my head was throbbing
like someone took a hammer to it, i was a fucking mess. I was
the other woman. At that point i knew loving you was wrong
because loving you meant i was always going to be weak to
your touch and your words, loving you meant i could no longer
stand with the purpose i had molded in me.Loving you was so

I knew that a long time ago but nothing beats reality, the



words in the post as you professed your love knowing that those
lips, were just between my thighs, the way in which you held her
tight, but those hands were around my neck whispering fuck
me like you love me melodies. As a grown ass woman i must
admit now, sometimes these things happen to us and we wonder
why or how do we stop it. Only thing we can really do is take
responsibility for our own actions, and honestly I’ve known
it was wrong, why this hit any different because it’s probably
confirmation to me in a deja vu moment that no matter what
role you play, you never win. I just knew loving him was wrong,
i was about half way through ripping some pages with bullets of
emotion when he called, i answered hey and he was like “what
you doing, i’m coming over tonight.”

“So how could love do me like this? real question is how did i sit
here and do this then call it love? The late nights and even the
moves under day light, the audacity i had to do this to another
woman, just like myself. I have no sympathy for me after all i
knew it was wrong because the good shit is usually the wrong
shit and the best shit is usually in hiding. Look at me talking
to me in the mirror, like you fucked up real bad but it happens.
What’s the come back plan? how we rising from this? I suggest
we cry and get it all out, accept the reality of the situation and
let it be what it is. We smart, beautiful and fine, we will not
submit our morals to good dick and possible soulmates, if he
was for us god would’ve never sent him with all that pain and
strife, now hang that fucking phone up.”

I know the saying if loving you is wrong, i don’t wanna be right
but i know loving you is wrong and i’m accustom to doing the
right things in life.



:Kelly Price: Tired



Like You Do

H“ appy birthday i hope this piece finds you well, you
were never one for my writing and after many years
of knowing each other its sad that it never grew on
you. So for your grand day i’m going to write you something i
know you won’t read. The fact that no one will ever touch my
soul like you did, know my secrets and see my scars. I let you in,
in a way that i never did anyone else, there is no secret i could
hide, no wish i could deny. I do think its possible for someone
to one day love me the way i love you, i just don’t know if i’ll be
willing to love another the way i love you now. W ho know’s
what the future holds, he may learn my body so he can touch me
like you do, the impact of his fingers to my flesh that will make
my hairs stand up and create goosebumps. Who know’s he may
kiss me with such depth that when our lips part he’ll have to
catch me because i’ll be out of breath. Who know’s he may
whisper sweet nothings that he stuck too, sweet temptations
he’ll make reality. Who know’s he’ll kiss every scar you made
and heal every wound i still have open but no one knows, i don’t
know and for now all i can do is wish i had someone that did it



like you do”

:Tank- I Can’t Make You Love Me



Just Sex

I ’ve reached to a point of solace, I just haven’t found the
strength to give you up just yet. I’ve found a middle, a
little compromise that takes away the emotional suffering
in silence and replaces it with sexual pain and sweet nothings.
I have convinced you to persuade me that it’s just sex, some
reverse psychology shit, I have no idea how it’ll work out but
I know for a fact that it’s worth a try. Wait! Let’s scrap that, it
is just sex. So don’t go deeper expecting me to call you baby,
don’t choke me while fucking me lightly, thinking i’ll scream I
loves you. I am in control now and no matter how good you
feel or how much that head makes my eyes roll to the back of
my head, I have had enough and it’s just sex. I think this is the
closest I’ve gotten to a fuck you, cutting you down where you
feel you had the most power. Now no matter what you do, i’m
not immune i’ll bask in it all but just know there’s a five feet
iron clad wall between you and any emotion.

“This is it, finally instead of giving in i’m puffing my chest and
taking a stand. It may not sound like much but if you’ve read



anything you’ll realize that not just I, but most women hold
on just for the sex. To find a man that knows exactly how to
draw on your canvas, is a heaven sent and to lose him and go
to mediocre is not an option when you can stick it out and call
it just sex. Let’s fuck and get it over with, no cuddles and small
talk, lets ditch the uncomfortable chemistry that we don’t know
what to do with, lets spend hours in sheets, or in these streets,
lets try some of everything no more saving for the next man
because as a silent lover you’ll never be mentioned. Don’t try
and put anything else with it, i’ll walk away the minute you
invite emotion back in”
I use to criticize women that stuck around with bad men, now
I don’t anymore because I understand there are many reason
why women fall back but the sex is often times high up on the
list with a battered old heart.

:Mary J Blige - Enough Crying



The Other Woman

O n days like these I would call your phone and curse
you out. How dare you have me plus somebody else
when we both know i’m more than enough for you.
Sometimes I wish I could take a bottle to your head because
even when i’m high I can’t fathom the thought of being number
two. I would take my time and scream about how you could put
me in this situation that I have allowed, I know you better don’t
ever tell me that you chose her. I am not the other woman, I am
the only one, I will continue to scream this to my delusional self,
so that I can convince me that’s exactly how it is, even when its

“I am the only one, who was there through every pain and scar,
who wiped tears and sacrificed to see you smile, I am the only
one that wrote dreams with you that were built on my failure,
who supported you through the ups and downs even some
family drama, I am the only one, who kneeled before you for
you to step up, who crawled beneath you so you would never fall



back. I am the only one that listened to every rant, contributed
to every plan, stood by with no praise after the success, I am
the builder you supervised without a thanks to give when the
rewards came in. I am the only one, and I will continue to be
the only that would sit down and actually believe that i’m more
than just your comfort food.”
I think every woman out there knows how this feel, thinking
if they stay they’ll win, because she’s just gonna be the other
woman to you. What we need to realize is once there is three
persons where there only needs to be two, nobody wins. Your
the other woman to her and she’s other woman to you. I’m the
other woman too, atleast that’s what I chose to be.




I woke up to my phone ringing at 2am, I knew there was
only one reason to call me at this time, sudden sex urge
and you needed a fix. This time it was different, we were
reminiscing and you were telling me how much you missed us
and how we hanged and laughed and understood each other.
I was confused this was a whole 360 from what i’m accustom
to. I didn’t mean to be silent but I was shocked, he was talking
about the good old days all before I became this bitter…You
know what, I found it strange to listen to you say things you
haven’t and never said to me:

“I love you to my soul and you’re my everything, I know that
you pretend well but we’re both alike and you have got to know
that you’re my everything. My nights have been longer and you
made me the happiest only with you will my demons let me rest,
I must admit you’re amazing more than I expected, I know we
had our rough times but baby our love was meant to be tested.
through it all we’re stronger than we’ve ever been and like the
old time classic says “Can you stand the rain” I know you’re the



one for me, sorry it took me so long to get it. I know this may
sound crazy but baby what we have needs another chance to
make it right”
And I was crying so soft I should’ve been happy, the devil had
finally seemed to clip his wings for me but just when he wanted
it the most, the irony was I didn’t want it at all now. You can
take that chance and give it to someone else, what i’m waiting
for is not something you can give.
:New Edition - Can You Stand The Rain



Deja Vu

S o let me tell you a story:
“In the beginning I remember it like it was yesterday,
we were dating fast, probably using more lust and less
emotion, besides the point thou. The first day after making it
official I was face to face with another woman. She was asking if
we had something and I was looking at you, like if you don’t get
this crazy mother fucker and take her to the zoo. I was beyond
pissed off and we had barely started, the drama should’ve held
off until we were atleast one year in. I asked you what was
going on and you exclaimed nothing, she was delusional and
acting crazy. Crazy huh? Yeah I believed it, so when she said
ya’ll got history and she cried to you infront of me screaming
how could you do her like that, I don’t know why I didn’t take
the hint then. Fast forward a little bit and we’re one year in
with about 4 women who could tell me how good his dick is, all
the posting and lying to me, I had the password to your phone
and was under your ass more than your boxer and still ended
up dumb founded”



“In the end I remember walking up to her stressed the fuck
out, like after years of putting up with this shit, here she comes
trying to take my place, I remember she looking at me and
laughing like I was crazy and he was just standing there looking
annoyed. I was crying and screaming like how could he do this?
How could he just dump me like I didn’t even matter, like all
those years were nothing to him, I was literally dumbfounded,
then I had a deja vu moment, this shit is a cycle and it was just
my turn to move over”
:Whitney Houston & Deborah Cox - Same Script



Tricks Are For Kids

E verything is starting to feel like a game now, everything
I do to you, you wanna do back. You get the idea that
it’s suppose to work like that but all it does is turn me
off. Trying to argue with me when you’re not my man, acting
like you don’t need me as if you can live like that. Let’s be honest
with each other:

“I don’t ever have to call, or text, that’s all on you and even if
your dying on the other end i’ll be good. This situation ain’t
nothing more than that, I know that I can live without you
but you have yet to go and experience life without running
back. I guess you already know that what I offer is actually rare
and though you abuse it it’s something that you actually need.
Would it be too much to brag and say you ain’t shit without me,
so stop trying to make me jealous, the reactions I use to give to
you, your lacking on. So you’re doing anything to get atleast a
fuck off”

Funny how the tables turn eventually after you master the art



of saying fuck it, it is what it is. The game continues playing
but your not making any moves. You reach a point of getting
tired of the games that you use to use to get what you want and
gain confidence in what you already know, just the same shit
repeating itself. Now he’s the only one playing, setting plots
and driving for chess moves, anything to get atleast something
out of you and your silently looking at him like “silly rabbit,
tricks are for kids.”

:Fantasia Ft Kelly Rowland- Without Me




N aturally, every woman just wants one thing when it
comes to men. A man that’ll understand her and all
her emotion, appreciate every feature and sensation
he gets when he meets her. Love her for who she really is,
cherish her like she’s his favorite thing. It’s not rocket science,
every woman is looking for love, from someone who can’t love
them that way or from someone who was meant to love them
in every way. There is literally no in between, you either love
them or you don’t, all the other excuses are fear stopping you
from what you really want. At what cost thou? I have seen
many people give up love for family, friends, image and end
up spending the rest of their days wishing they had the guts to
do what it took. It’s quite sad to me when you really look at it,
we have the guts to go for our dreams but lack the guts to find
a happy ending, some of us result to making those success or
reason for happiness but we’re still left with that bad pit feeling
and hole of emptiness inside us, that only love can fill.

Yet is love enough? the irony is some persons never find that
one, or die knowing that they found it but never got it because



he or she was never strong enough to fight for them. I have
heard many sad love stories and know of many people who
are still silently grieving for that one person who stole there
heart and got away, while others are just waiting. Waiting for
them to come along, having faith not knowing if love will come
at all or when it will. Questioning every new beginning like
could this be it, and even if you play it cool, apart of you just
wants to know, like am I wasting my time? Will this be over
in 3 months? or is this for me now? Maybe overthinking and
constantly questioning something that has just started could
be you spewing negative energy all over, so what do you do?
Lay back and roll with it, have faith that it could be it and let it
play out to be whatever it is, then boom! Another heart break,
we all just want to skip the heart breaks because even though
the heart doesn’t break literally, the figment of it that is linked
to our emotional state is scared. We all just want somebody, to
treat us like somebody, that won’t be for everybody, that’ll just
love you for you.

:Tink: Treat Me Like Somebody



My Devil

D ear God,
I know i may be on my knees for the wrong reason,
but i just need to get all this stuff off my chest for a
minute. I fell far from your grace and as your child i know you
only want whats best for me. So you’re probably disappointed
now but allow me to just say i apologie for that, all those red
flags i ignored and you were trying to tell me he was just meant
to be a stepping stone. If he was meant for a season and his
season is up, save me from myself give me the strength to give
him up. Maybe i’m still failing at this because i haven’t learnt
my lesson yet but i’m tired of the pain and emotional death.

I know you have seen all the tears i’ve cried. This can’t be what
you had for me in mind, no you never give us more than we can
bear but my world has been so dark for so long with lots of rain.
If the sun is still out there send it my way, because i’ve been
laying here broken and constantly being stepped on. I know it’s
inside me somewhere, you probably put it there, the strength
i need to let go and just let it be. I’ve tried so many times to
convince myself that it is what it is but i’ve failed miserably at



that, the warrior you made is loosing the battle, still on her feet
but two steps away from total defeat. I’ve been strong through
everything else but this one thing is taking its time to get out
of my system. I know you can hear me and i don’t need a sign
just let these be the last set of tears i cry for this man. He may
come back around and i wanna be strong enough to say no,
i just want the final good bye to be just that good bye. God i
really hope you hear me and i’m begging you please, save me
from this devil in disguise.

Eve: Love Is Blind




I feel like a whole brand new woman, ass looking good,
spirit is exhilarating, hustle seems to be on point and
mentally i’m saying i don’t fuck with you!
how much did you really expect i would take before i layed
down the law and stuck to it. Every woman has their breaking
point :

“I’ve stood by you through many infidelities, became the other
woman when you chose her over me, i watered your dreams
and showered you like a king. It was ntohing short of amazing
when it came to being your pet, but dogs sometimes bite there
owners too, once probed more than they could take. I have
stood by as a public laughing stock, i have felt the weight of
your hand on my body, physical scars that can’t just wash away
themselves.I have been the helper and the bitch. Yet it all was
never enough for you, to say i’ve had enough of this is wrong
but i’m happy we’ve gotten to this point where i can say i don’t
fuck with him anymore and it’s not a sham, i don’t give a fuck
if you live or you die. Same shit either way. No matter how



much you call or text, you are so yesterday and i am thankful
for the lesson but your chain has been cut and i am finally free,
the mental slavery you fucked me into, was beaten by a plan b.”
:Big Sean- IDFWU


Nothing Beats Reality

I“ knew you’d come around some day and see the error in
your ways, your decision could’ve remained the same,
delivery could’ve been better but Karma caught up to you
anyway and atleast now you know that Happiness could never
be the outcome of a bad deed”
HI LIGHT - Used to love me


About the Author

Brianda Kadejah Veryncia Harvey is an aspiring everything,with
the mindset that we were all born with more than one talent
and more than one way to change the world around us. She
is a mother, a writer, a activist, a student and a mentor. This
23 year old woman is carving her purpose around her future
work as a women empowerment activist, a writer, a poet, a
psychologist, a lawyer and a hopeful politician. “Be the change
you wish to see in the world” - Mahatma Gandhi


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