The words you are searching are inside this book. To get more targeted content, please make full-text search by clicking here.

A raw collection of pieces done by the selfish woman.

Discover the best professional documents and content resources in AnyFlip Document Base.
Published by Black_Arts, 2019-12-11 21:41:01


A raw collection of pieces done by the selfish woman.

Keywords: love,blackats,numb,scared,black,art



First published by Black Arts Inc 2019

Copyright © 2019 by Black Arts

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any
means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording,
scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the
publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or

distribute it by any other means without permission.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters
and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s
imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or
dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

First edition

This book was professionally typeset on Reedsy.
Find out more at

This book is dedicated to the clean out. The honesty in being
heartless, the openness through being numb. Many of us are afraid
of being selfish and so we are disregarded and classified as a “bitch”
when we do that and refuse to lower our standards to meet anyone
below them. We are often downplayed as being a horrible person

when we won’t allow persons to disrespect our boundaries and
disrupt our energy. Cheers to being numb because in being selfish

there Is a bad in the story that benefits you.

Contents ii
Acknowledgement 2
Dear Gotham 3
Mental Patients 4
Over Guard 5
Red Nose Reindeer 6
Prime Time 8
Good Girl 10
Stranger Danger 11
Gimmie Power 12
Mr Perfect 13
I’m A Snitch 14
About the Author
Also by Black Arts


I would just like to take this time to acknowledge the upcoming
year with more honesty and openness along with many more
creative opportunities, but why wait until then. I would like
to start by thanking the persons that added to the making of
these pieces. I chose 2019 as a year of growth and self love but
like any regular woman I had my share of crossing paths with
some amazing persons. Along this year I wrote each piece and
now I add them together before I take the new year healed and
ready to welcome any new blessings. Thanks to all of you for
dubbing me “Numb”.


Dear Gotham

Somehow if It was really up to my younger self I would blame

Blame you for everything I don’t feel when I need to
Blame you for still being here as the reminder I can’t snooze
We still laugh like old best friends and joke like long time
Everything that’s not in my best interest I do with you
We still hang out and fuck in the same old places
All those memories years couldn’t erase them
Yet here I am, walking through this storm head held high
You see everything as it once was blind to the fact that it’s all
gone now
As great as we are, best we’ve been in a long time
I’d still rip your scars open and laugh in delight
Your suffering once brought me anguish but now it’s a
I could lay you with you tonight and say fuck you tomorrow
My terms are the only guidelines to what this is
Because just like that I didn’t really learn from you
All the ways to save myself from the same pain in a couple
I ended up turning around and mirroring “I can’t be tamed”


Mental Patients

It’s been a while and this one really caught me by surprise
I don’t know what it was that really shocked me most
Probably was the fact that you hid better than I ever could
Was it the openness that really drew me near
Ease of conversation and understanding was enough to stem

in fear
Was it the scars from the blades we took to our skin
Or the comfort of death looming above our heads
The greatest thing is to find someone that gets it one shot
Hardest thing is to question everything else because of that

I think if it was up to us we’d play with the darkness
And all I ever wanted was someone to hold my hand
As we play with our very own demons
Who do you think would die first?
I am appalled that I may never see where this shit goes
Who’d be the first killer on a count of rock, paper, scissors
Because as much you may entice me and this is all interesting
The questions that loom and actions that doomed
All fucked with my energy
Shit was just a bit too mental for me


Over Guard

If ever there was a time where i was sorry for somebody son
was now

Picture me and you in your head somewhere
With all those rest fantasies that’ll never come true
I admit I could’ve made it easier for you
But men that think they have me before the chase start
I allow to be pitiful and screwed
Not once has the thought entered my mind
And the chances you never had could not be compromised
God may have been upset on this one
But I guarantee you the devil was boosting with pride
There’s good and bad in all of us that comes out now and
I was being the devils advocate because you had the audacity
to be bold
To approach without even one of the standards to compli-
I must’ve been on punk but reality set in
And I was force to put myself on Over guard to fend off you


Red Nose Reindeer

Never in my life have I held so much regret for how I treated

That one heart you break that you never really meant to
But loving someone during the wrong time in there life
Is not enough of an excuse to justify how fucked up you treat
It makes you alter your perspective when someone genuine
cares for you
But you have to force yourself to give a fuck past your own
selfish trauma
This is not a guilt trip but even if you’re broken it never really
gives you the right
To shit on what could’ve been the best person to enter your
life at the time
Possibly god sent and if that’s the case the lesson I had to learn
through your phase
It was well worth it
What’s really sad is the fact that
I never really apologized


Prime Time

I was honestly starting to think motherfuckers were looking at
me as Jimmy Kinnel live

It’s crazy to me how fucked up life could be
No matter how many fair chances you give
No one seems to see your point until you treat them like shit
I was starting to think that was the biggest preference
Ignoring messages and not returning phone calls and they go
off the deep end
Yet if the tables were turned and they were doing them
Just hit it with a “It’s cool g, do ya thing”
If playing tag is it for you
And different feels of pussy on your dick to keep score is ya
main plan
Then that’s definitely okay
Just don’t lie through your teeth
With words that don’t match the face of your actions
I have been schooled by the greatest
And my view of fuckboys is a clear 20/20 vision
This might be your time but i’m currently in my prime
And that includes sharing “Fuck you’s” Like “Merry Christ-
mas ”


Good Girl

All my life I’ve been the good girl
Always respectful, good grades in school
I wasn’t the rebellious teen that wanted to party
I was the one with the books in hand
A heavy back pack on one side
Rushing home to meet curfew
I was the tomboy and the athlete
Uninterested in the male species
Amidst it all I cared to much
A severe empath constantly trying to change the way thing

I was the good talker, fluent and subtle
I was the raging heart
Filled with so much anger from unspoken words
So much tears from emotions and shame experiences of

I spent years down playing who I was and what I was capable

Learning from the insecurity that i’ll never be good enough
Head down walking the streets living life better unseen
I felt a lot but didn’t do much but write it out
I guess I should’ve taken the time to open up and better enjoy



But in different ways I was to busy sitting in corners
By myself the good girl in isolation
Fast forward a couple years and to much mistakes
I was force to reckon with this good girl and take her place
The struggle of growing and accepting all the things she didn’t
Who would’ve thought through all of that
From the ashes a whole fucking bitch would arise


Stranger Danger

I think apart of me knew it was coming
That moment when all your senses are heightened mysteri-

Your looking around for what it could be
Every emotion takes over you but fear of the unknown takes

the strongest hold
Speedily I walked with palms sweaty of uncertainty
Into the danger that was lurking waiting for me
I wish I could be dreaming for that whole moment to be a

Something I’d be so happy I could wake from
But I couldn’t
In my mind I now understand why mommy use to say
Never talk to strangers and keep them far away
Had I known a stranger would kill apart of me
And rob me of my right to explore cautiously my own

Threw choice out the window and chance to hell
As his hand over my mouth repelled screams
That I still hear every night
Some scars heal and that’s true
A little cocoa butter and you can be brand new



But oh how I wish I can forget the memory
That still brings tears on new days too


Gimmie Power

If there was ever a man I knew
Where every action contradicted every word
And every phrase and sentence just irked my soul
Because the reality was nothing like the façade he drew
The camouflage was bland and to each game he spat
The inner bitch in me came to rise
The lack of sexual attraction contrast to the many thoughts

in my head
Of who the fuck do he think he is
In hindsight his intellect was amazing
And those type of orgasms are what I crave most
So though I gave zero fucks about what he wanted to have
What he gave or claimed to offer
I already knew he was not it
He screamed fake masculinity and couldn’t even tame the

man in me
His desire for my vulnerability
To claim my sweet fuck as a notch on his belt
Is the reason why his pants still hang
My lips were the only genuine blessing he had in years
And being petty me I made sure he knew that till this day
I could never fuck with a man with more pussy than me


Mr Perfect

I don’t know if you have a single flaw
I’m sure the word doesn’t exist to you
If ever I met a man that knew just like you
How to motivate, save and pleasure the way you do
Would be the day I no longer have to suffocate
The inner beast that tries to take our place
You are in my eyes the epitome of perfection
From your understanding ways to the way you say
“Aite goodie a you alone own d ting”
You are able to make me laugh and sing
You are easy to talk to and just hard enough to tame
Yet I will never entertain the thought of being with you
Outside of whatever this is


I’m A Snitch

I grew up thinking it was ok to hide all these feelings
I lived my life doing everything behind the scenes
You don’t speak on someone’s skeleton unless it slipped
And now the whole world can see it
We all have dark shit that we hide
Probably ruined a couple lives
But made ourselves sound good in that horror story
Claiming to be the victim to hearts we destroyed
We are all living in some sort of disguise
I shred my self of my societal flesh I walk naked
You can see the raw shape of my thighs
The curve of my breast, the swell between my legs
Because I leave it bare for you to cringe in disgust
I am one you should run from
I am not one you should entertain or make memories with
My shit don’t stain they scar and ruin the image of places you

once loved
And just like that every person I meet ends up as a stanza in

an emotional piece
I am not one to make contact with because I snitch through



About the Author

Brianda Harvey is an aspiring everything, with the mindset that
we were all born with more than one talent and more than one
way to change the world around us. She is a mother, a writer,
a activist, a student and a mentor. This 23 year old woman
is carving her purpose around her future work as a women
empowerment activist, a writer, a poet, a psychologist, a lawyer
and a hopeful politician. “Be the change you wish to see in the
world”-Mahatma Gandhi


Also by Black Arts


Click to View FlipBook Version