Forgiveness Magazine

G04 KMU1013 RELATIONSHIP BUILDING ISSUE

No. 1
Summer
2022

G1 BETTER ANGER-
MANAGEMENT SKILL

TURN TARUMA
INTO STRENGTH

THE MASTERI
STAGES OF NG THE
ART OF
FORGIVENESS FORGIVE

NESS

THE
ART OF
FORGIVENESS

The power to heal

About Us

It is my pleasure to introduce you, (the reader),
to the people who made this magazine possible

EVEALYSSA LAU BONIFACE

69644

NURUL AZILA BINTI ZAINUDIN

71179

SITI NURKAMARIA BINTI
MOHAMAD SHARUDDIN

71641

MOHD IRFAN KEE CHARLES

73581

NURUL SHAKINAH BINTI AWG
MATUSIN

76496

Under the supervision of

PUAN NOR HASNIAH

Contents

WHAT IS THE ART
OF FORGIVENESS?

IS FORGIVENESS THE
ANSWER TO EVERYTHING?

FOUR STAGES OF
FORGIVENESS

BENEFITS OF
FORGIVENESS

FORGIVENESS AS A
HEALTH ASSET

Acknowledgement

The completion of this study could not have been
possible without the participation and assistance of so
many people whose names may not all be enumerated

their contributions are sincerely appreciated and
gratefully acknowledged. However, the group would like

to express their deep appreciation and indebtedness
particularly to Madam Nor Hasniah Ibrahim, our class

conductor for this study.



To all relatives, friends and others who in one way or
another shared their support, either morally, financially

and physically, thank you.



Group 1

WHAT IS THE ART OF
FORGIVENESS

Mastering the art of forgiveness plays a crucial role in happiness and quality of our
life . By learning this, we don't forgive the person who did something wrong; but we
forgive ourself. Yes, we read it correctly. We forgive ourself. When someone has done
damage that appears at the time to be irreconcilable. It a meaningful parallel
between the act of creating and the art of forgiveness. To forgive is to remove
bitterness and create more space for love, gentleness and kindness.

MASTERING THE ART OF
FORGIVENESS

While there is certainly no weakness in
forgiveness; it’s a hard skill to master.
Resentment and anger can bubble away for
years, and if not dealt with, will keep you living
Finotrhgei1vsehnaedssowdsoeosfny’toumrepaanstt.hat you need to let
someone who seriously hurt you off the hook; it
just means that you need to release the
negative energy that you’re feeling towards
them, and remove them from your life.

"forgiveness has been shown to 1
reduce anger, hurt, depression
and stress and lead to greater
feelings of optimism, hope,
compassion and self confidence.”

- Dr Fred Luskin

Is forgiveness the
answer to everything?

NOT ALL THINGS
SHOULD BE FORGIVEN

Sometimes we must put our own hearts first. The desire for revenge should be
avoided even if we do not want to forgive the individual. Certain times when we
forgive someone, they will think we are too good, weak and they have the
potential to use us in the future. In fact, research shows that forgiving too quickly
can damage self-esteem and lead to more relationship problems and disagreeable
partners. The point is that expressing some of our rage may be both therapeutic
and useful (McNulty, 2011).

ADVOCATING FORGIVENESS CAN
OVERLOOK THE IMPORTANCE OF

CONFRONTING AN ABUSER

Forgiving too easily increases the likelihood that individuals who have
wronged you will hurt you again. It is stated that persons who easily forgave

their relationships were nearly twice as likely to be abused shortly
afterwards. Furthermore, addressing your abuser may not only improve
your life but also make the world a safer place for others. Simply expressed,
confrontation can reduce, but not eliminate, bullying, abuse, violence, and

discrimination.



2 TAKE A BREAK
WITH A CUP OF COFFEE

WHEN FORGIVING IS
DEEMED NECESSARY

There are often misunderstanding and misleading conversation that may cause
people to be hurt or felt betrayed by others, but this shall not be a challenge for
them. It is because, people can change. Once both parties has confess about their
opinions to each other, sharing their thoughts on the matter in a calming way, the
relationship will take a turn into a better one. This is one of the way that will lead to
each other asking for forgiveness. They have better understanding of each other,
they trust each other by sharing their thoughts, this will not be a challenge for them
anymore on certain matter that they have discussed.

One of the examples of where the apologies are acceptable is when the second
party, the party who made a mistake, may have not intentionally or even have the
innuendo to begin with. They may be accidentally made a mistakes that they have
caused, and couldn’t control it. For example, car accident. The first party, the
offended party, was mildly injured due to the accident and the other party may got
injured as well. Now this seems like both parties does not want this to happen but it
did anyways, which leads to the second party to feel guilty and sorry towards the
offended. This situation can be talk through and can be discuss between them and
they each can forgive each other. They both can settle all of the insurances, the bills
and of course they will be a much more better driver than better.

“Even at a very basic 3
level, calling someone
out on what they did
to hurt others, is one
way to make those
changes."

So many injustices happen because no one
says anything about them

Four Stages of
Forgiveness

THE ART 1.FORGIVE SOMEONE, THAT MEANS
FORGIVING YOURSELF
S OF FORGIVENES
Forgiveness is a process that takes time; and there is no timeframe that
dictates how long you should take in order to reach the point of
forgiveness. Taking time away from the person who hurt you allows you to
come to terms with your own thoughts on what has happened, process it in
your mind and figure out where to go from there. Healing doesn’t occur
overnight.

2. LEARN TO LET GO

It’s okay want to cut someone out if they hurt you, and forgiveness
simply allows you to do this without having to cart the weight of
resentment around on your shoulders for the rest of your life. As

Lauren Conrad so iconically told Heidi in that fateful episode of The
Hills circa 2007, “I want to forgive you, and I want to forget you.”





3. FORGIVE YOURSELF FIRST

We all hold so much unexplored
pain within us whether it’s from a
previous toxic relationship, our
formative years or feelings of
low self esteem. Acknowledging
that these past experiences have
shaped us is fundamental to
moving past them, and forgiving
yourself first is essential to
forgiving other people.

4. MEDITATE FOR FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness guru Gabby Bernstein advises
meditating for forgiveness, and says “if I’m in a
heated place, no matter how angry or wounded I
may feel, when I use this practice I can always
come back to a place of oneness and
forgiveness.”
To do it, you have to meditate with the person
who hurt you at the forefront of your mind.
Bernstein says to think about all of the things that
you love about them, or the valuable lessons
you’ve learned from difficult times with them if
the former is too painful. Then, she says to “call
on the good that has come from this relationship.
Start to cultivate the feeling of goodness, love,
acceptance and appreciation.” She recommends
this practice for a period of thirty days whilst
trying to forgive.
If you’re in the process of attempting to forgive;
remember that it is exactly that – a process. And
an often lengthy process at that, but anything
worth having is worth waiting for. You got this.

The benefits of forgiveness

Forgiveness is beneficial. According to Hopkins (2021), forgiveness
lowers heart attack risk, boosts cholesterol and sleep, and reduces
pain, blood pressure, anxiety, sadness, and stress. Forgiveness
reduces severe health problems by reducing stress and anxiety.
Forgiveness is associated to somatic problems, fatigue, physical
ailments, and drugs. Researchers at Virginia Commonwealth
University discovered what we might already know as common
sense in a study. "Chronic unforgiveness creates stress," they
wrote. People's body respond when they think about their
transgressor. Forgiveness lowers health risks. If you can forgive,
you'll boost your immune system."

When a person forgives others, they must also forgive themselves
to go forward and make peace with others. This is to process your
emotions by creating healthy feelings and allowing yourself to
take beneficial measures, such as going hiking to clear your
thoughts and taking a deep breath walk to be your physical
activity. As the victims encounter the positive offender, directed
feelings such as empathy, as well as a heightened motivation to
forgive another person, might be expected (Worthington, 2006).

Fincham & Beach (2002) reported that forgiving improves marital
quality, increases future forgiveness, deepens commitment to the
partnership, and lowers ruminating about whether the offending
partner repented. As you shed wrath, resentment, and hatred, you
feel empathy, compassion, and perhaps affection for the offender.
According to Raypole (2020), good mental health can assist you
with emotional stress. Putting aside grudges and anger may
improve health and mental clarity.

5

Forgiveness as a
health asset

According to a study published in the journal
BMC Psychology in 2020, forgiving is
connected with greater psychosocial well-
being and lower psychological distress
outcomes in a monotone pattern. This study
conducted an outcome-wide analysis among
a cohort of female nurses in the United
States (age range: 43–64 years) using
longitudinal data from the Nurses' Health
Study II (2008 Trauma Exposure and Post-
traumatic Stress Supplementary Survey
through 2015 questionnaire wave, N =
54,703). The study investigates the
relationship between spiritually driven
forgiveness of others and a variety of
subsequent midlife psychosocial well-being,
mental health, health behaviour, and
physical health outcomes.

This study suggests that forgiveness is positively associated with multiple
indicators of subsequent psychosocial and mental health. However, the
study found minimal indication of a connection with later health habits or
physical health outcomes. Forgiveness can sometimes be viewed as a
value in and of itself. The relationships described here may have
community health implications for boosting mental health and
psychosocial well-being. The disparities between the current study's weak
associations with subsequent physical health and much of the rest of the
literature warrant further investigation to determine whether, and in what
contexts, forgiveness of others might improve not only mental health and
wellbeing, but physical health as well (Long et al., 2020).

6

The

End Notes

Forgiveness is the
nature of my art in
general. it's expressing
love and compassion,
the kinds of things that
don't make sense in
any other context other

than emotive
expression

- Raymond Pettibon -

References

13 health benefits of forgiveness. WisdomTimes. (2018, September 20).
Retrieved May 28, 2022, from https://www.wisdomtimes.com/blog/health-benefits-of-
forgiveness/

Elizabeth Scott, P. D. (2020, March 4). 3 reasons why forgiveness is good for you.
Verywell Mind. Retrieved May 31, 2022, from https://www.verywellmind.com/the-
benefits-of-forgiveness-3144954

Fincham, F., & Beach, S. (2002). Forgiveness in Marriage: Implications for
Psychological Aggression and Constructive Communication. Personal Relationships,
9(3), 239-251. https://doi.org/10.1111/1475-6811.00016

Forgiveness: Your health depends on it. Johns Hopkins Medicine. (2021, November 1).
Retrieved May 28, 2022, from https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-
prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it

Long, K., Worthington, E., VanderWeele, T., & Chen, Y. (2020). Forgiveness of others
and subsequent health and well-being in mid-life: a longitudinal study on female
nurses. BMC Psychology, 8(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-020-00470-w

Lindberg, S. (2018, July 25). 12 tips for forgiving yourself. Healthline. Retrieved May 30,
2022, from https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-forgive-yourself#11.-Show-
kindness-and-compassion

McNulty, J. (2011). The Dark Side of Forgiveness: The Tendency to Forgive Predicts
Continued Psychological and Physical Aggression in Marriage. Personality And Social
Psychology Bulletin, 37(6), 770-783. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167211407077

Raypole, C. (2020, April 27). Can you ever really forgive someone? Healthline. Retrieved
June 14, 2022, from https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-forgive

Unforgiveness and your health. Counselling Directory. (n.d.). Retrieved May 31, 2022,
from https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/unforgiveness-and-
your-
health#:~:text=People%20who%20often%20get%20angry,increase%20the%20risk%20o
f%20depression.

Worthington, J. (2006). Forgiveness and Reconciliation : Theory and application, 170-
171. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203942734