The Forgotten Cutchi Memon Customs of Bygone Years

bridegroom, and one or two girls of her age or
younger. Others followed in similar carts or walked
the distance.

That was the practice until
cycle rikshaws, later cars and
autorickshaws became
available, and bullock carts
ceased to exit.

For out of town journeys, longer community travel
facilities such as Tapalvandis drawn by two or four
bullocks were used. Travel to Kollam, Kayamkulam or
Alappuzha used to be by passenger boats starting
from the Chacka boat Jetty.

51

Kettu Vallam Tapal Vandi-Mail Carrier
The oldest Houseboat Used as Passenger Vehicle

5.7 Nekhetti

On arrival at the bridegroom’s

residence the entourage was

formally received by a few

members of the household who

would have left early to make

Nose Pin and necessary arrangements. The
Metti bride’s feet were washed by a
sister or a cousin. In much older

times, the boy’s mother never used to join the baratis

and stayed back home. In such a case it was her

privilege to welcome the daughter-in-law and wash

her feet. The bride was guided to step in with her right

52

foot. Her first act after entering the house was to kiss
the hand of her mother-in-law and the elders,
especially those who had not been at the Nikah.

Nekhetti was the first function at the bridegroom’s
place after the bride’s arrival. Friends and relatives,
including those who were there in the barat, were
invited to see the new incumbent of the household.
Men considered as Mehram to all the women present
were permitted to participate. With others the bride,
as a rule, observed pardah. The bride seated
prominently, the women, beginning with the mother-
in-law, fed her with small bits of Sakkar (sugarcandy)
as she would kiss their hands. The bride was then
gifted with Hath Chummani. The mother-in-law would
present her a gold Nose Pin (Nakk ji Siri) with one, five
or seven stones and a pair of silver toe rings (Metti)
which were to be worn always as symbols of her
status as a married woman. Cutchi Memon women
held these three symbols as very sacred tokens of the
solemn bondage until death would part them.

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The guests were, traditionally, served with Nankhattai
and white tea made of sago, cardamom and a touch of
tea leaves boiled in milk. It was also a custom to
display the Pachchi to the invitees who had not
attended the display at the Seerani.

5.8 The Nuptial

The first night of the couple would be arranged after
the Nekhetti at the bridegroom’s residence with no
fanfare. Their bedroom would be tastefully decorated.
The only formality that remained was that a married
sister or cousin should usher the girl to the bedroom
with the blessings of and under instructions from the
mother-in-law or the senior most lady of the house.

5.9 Feasts

There were two important feasts connected with
marriage. The first one was the Seerani, offered by the
bride’s family. Biriyani and Seero (a sweet dish made
with sooji in ghee garnished with fried cashew nuts,
pista, badam and resins) were mandatory. The feast
derived its name Seerani from the Seero served as

54

dessert. Because the marriages took the whole night,
Seerani was not offered immediately after the Nikah.
Normally it would be on the following day. If the
bridegroom’s party had come from an outstation,
then the Raja would be delayed until after the Seerani.
This was also an occasion for the declaration and
display of Pachchi, which would be laid out before the
relatives of both sides. The items would be openly
declared with the names of the contributors. No
special display or mention was generally needed of
the Pedo as the girl would be already wearing them.
After displaying, the Mother-in-law took charge of the
Pachchi.

The other feast was the Waleemo, offered by the
bridegroom’s family at their place after the party had
returned to their residence. Though primarily meant
for the friends and relatives of the bridegroom, people
from the bride’s household would also be invited.
There was no hard and fast rule about the menu.

55

Seerani preceded Waleemo, which had to be, by
Shariah, delayed until the consummation of the
marriage.

Because both the feasts were on days subsequent to
the marriage the hosts had the advantage of deciding
on selective invitation. Two different modes were in
vogue – Chadee Dawat and Saglee Dawat. Chadee
Dawat meant that only one person from each house
was expected to attend, while Saglee Dawat was for
the entire household.

Where certain families were invited personally by a
host family member it was Sagleepatthee, of course
for that family. Invitations by Dhami was deemed to
be Chadi unless specified as Saglee. It was also a
custom for the Dhami to go round the Mohalla
announcing that the food was ready and asking people
to proceed to dine, yelling out as he would walk
around, ”Hallo Bawa Khawethe”.

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5.10 SATHADO

Where the families involved in the marriage resided in
the same locality, it was a practice to bring the girl
back to her home every day for the first seven days.
She would stay with the family during the day and
return to her husband’s house for the night.

Visit on the first day, following the Valeemo, was
formal in that bride’s parents should make a request
to the boy’s parents to permit the couple to be taken
to the bride’s house. The lady of the house would then
grant permission on condition that they should be
returned before nightfall. As it was a time when child
marriages were prevalent, the system of daily visits
was necessary to ease the girl’s anxiety in being in
strange environment. However, the custom stayed on
for the older ones too. Interestingly, the girl’s parents
would not take any food or drink from the girl’s new
household, during any of their visits, as that was
considered disgraceful!

57

Visits on the remaining days were more or less
informal until the seventh day, known as Sathado. This
was an important day in the bride’s life as then
onwards she would be fully integrated with the new
family of her accession, with all rights and
responsibilities of a housewife. The day was
celebrated by the bride’s family by inviting the couple
and all members of both the houses and a choice of
relatives to a small function and entertaining them
with sumptuous lunch or dinner. The bride would be
presented with a set of jewelry, and the couple with
dresses. The couple would take leave of the bride’s
parents after kissing their hands. No Hath Chummani
or Gor.

Inter - visitation thereafter would be informal. At least
for the one year following, the bride’s family was
expected to send gifts of dress, sweets and money,
Eidy, for the couple for the two Eids. The gifts included
home-made vermicelli and black-pepper pappads. If in
the same Mohalla or near about, the couple would
visit the bride’s parents and close family members to

58

exchange festival greetings. If Ramadan intervenes,
inviting the couple with the parents and other
members of their household for Iftar was also part of
a strong custom. Inviting the couple alone for any
function was not only deprecated but also did entail
refusal of permission for the visit.

6.0 POLYGAMY AND DIVORCE

6.1 POLYGAMY

Cutchi Memons were essentially a monogamist
community; although one could find cases of
polygamy, particularly among the affluent. Cases had
also happened when the man had to live away from
the wife for long durations on account of work or
business. It should be appreciated that absence of
suitable accommodation and provision for food at the
place of work also induced a need for a local marriage.
Muta, a temporary marriage, was available as a
solution to the Shia community, but it was not
acceptable to Sunnis. Hence the subsequent marriage
became a permanent feature. Here again, the first

59

wife was from their own community while only the
subsequent ones were from the local or Dakhni
communities. It was extremely rare to have the
second wife Cutchi Memon, unless the first wife
suffered from some serious disease or was barren for
a long time; such marriages took place essentially with
her approval or based on her desire. We have no clear
evidence to determine whether the second and
subsequent marriages had the consent of the senior
wife / wives required under the Shariah. In all
probability the answer is in the negative. Nonetheless,
the senior wives appear to have accepted it as fait
accompli and lived with amity, notwithstanding the
frequent quarrels. However, such multiple marriages
had not ended in the senior wife seeking Khula. As a
rule, the wives were provided with separate houses
and it was extremely rare to have them living under
the same roof, unless a second marriage was
sponsored by the senior. in cases of extreme
unacceptability the senior would desire to live alone
with her children or to go back to her parents or other
relatives, if they could afford; still not asking for Khula.
Even though a subsequent wife had a stronger
influence on the husband or the husband was more

60

inclined towards her, he would, generally, put an air of
treating them equally for all practical purposes, thus
maintaining an atmosphere of cordiality. As a result
most of such half brothers and half sisters were found
to be helping and cooperating with each other,
ignoring the fact that they were born of different
mothers. In turn, the mothers were also compelled to
gracefully accept the situation. After all, the Shariah
permits a man to have four wives at a time and so
there was no reason to complain unless one was
totally ignored, tortured or starved of life support.

6.2 DIVORCE

Divorces were pretty rare among Cutchi Memons,
except in cases of incompatibility. Triple utterance of
talaq was not accepted by the community which had
very clear procedures in the matter. Yet there had
been cases where triple talaqs were announced. The
affected woman or her family would appeal to Setth
against it. The case was then treated as a declaration
of intention to divorce and handled accordingly.

61

The set procedure was that the intending person
should first declare his intention directly to the
Jamaath Setth and the father or other head of the
wife's family by a letter addressed to them or by word
of mouth specifying the reasons for the decision. The
recipient should assess how serious the matter was;
call upon the woman and explain the matter to her
and enquire whether she would accept the allegations
made. If she accepted the allegation or not, it was
their duty to find a way to reconcile the two. If she
refuted, it was also necessary to go deeper into it and
find the truth so as to secure a solution. Either way
the Setth and the relatives had the responsibility to
persuade the two to come to an amicable
understanding. A month's time was allowed for this
exercise. If the husband insisted on the divorce or if
the reasons advanced in the original complaint were
repeated, it was for the Setth to admonish the
woman, but at the same time to persuade the man to
forgive her and find a way to live together, on
receiving an apology from her. A further period of one
month was granted to the couple to reconcile the

62

differences. If that too failed then Setth would offer a
solution which was binding on both. If either of them
refused to accept it and living together was found
impossible then the Setth had to declare the
relationship terminated after the third month. The
same procedure was followed in the case of Khula
demanded by the wife. However, the letter or the
presentation of the case could be done by her father
or brother, if so desired.

On such termination the seeker of the divorce had to
return the entire jewels and cash received as Pachchi
and re-transfer any land or building brought in by the
wife. She had to return the ornaments given by the
husband, only if they were still with her and she was
under no obligation to return the Mahar even if the
Khula was initiated by her. In fact the husband asking
for the divorce should make good the Mahar that she
would have returned at Mohwattani and also the
unsettled portion of promissory Mahar, if any. If any
of the ornaments brought in as Pachchi had been
appropriated by the husband, then he should
compensate for them in equivalent quantity of gold or

63

value at current market price. Moreover, she had the
right to retrieve all the khat-paathar and other
contributions of the family.

Right to custody and responsibility for the living and
other expenses of the children was another issue. It
was the right of the mother to have the custody of
boys under the age of 12 and girls irrespective of their
age. Boys above 12 had the privilege of deciding with
who they should live. The father was bound to meet
the living expenses of the children under the mother's
care, the amount payable being decided by the Setth,
taking into account the status of the father, social and
financial.

After the divorce, the woman was free to marry any
other person, but could not resume living with her
earlier husband unless she married another individual;
consummated the marriage with him; obtained
divorce from the current spouse and performed nikah
with the previous person.

As a matter of fact such stringent regulations made
divorces extremely rare.

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PART II
THE FIRST PREGNANCY

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7.0 The First Pregnancy

The first pregnancy of the daughter was an occasion
for happiness as well as unique responsibility for the
parents. On being informed of the conception the
parents would visit her. There was no immediate
ceremony though they would carry fruits and sweets
of her choice except certain prohibited items like
papaya and pineapple. The actual time for celebration
came in the fifth or the seventh month of pregnancy.
If the girl was very week and needed special care the
parents would desire to take her home in the fifth
month, otherwise in the seventh month. The reason
behind this was that the girl would feel more
comfortable with her mother during the difficult days
of extreme anxiety caused by experiences of a diverse
nature, thus far unknown to her and intermittent
feelings of pain and insecurity.
7.1 Khoro Bharayno

The ceremony of taking the girl home, known as Filling
the Lap (Khoro Bharayno), would be organized by the

66

mother-in-law, on a mutually agreed date and time.
Near relatives and friends, of both sides, were invited
to be present. Girl’s parents would bring a variety of
fresh and dry fruits, vegetables and a pair of coconuts,
de-husked but with a tuft of fibre at the head.

The girl took bath and put on new clothes given by the
husband, would offer two rakaats of nafil prayer and
brought to a comfortable seat on a carpet or mattress,
a gaddi with her lap spread. A towel would be placed
on the lap, and filled with coconuts, vegetables, fruits,
in that order and also dry fruits like almonds cashew
nuts, walnuts and pistachios. Some sweets could be
added, optionally. Then, the mother followed by a
sister or married cousin of the girl put on both her

67

hands glass bangles of various colours and designs,
which included yellow, red and green ones, but
specifically excluded black ones. With the lap
remaining filled, women present would feed the girl
with small bits of sakkar. A Gor was also made. The
towel with its contents would then be removed, and
the guests served with refreshments.

As a final step the girl would seek the permission of
the husband in private and kiss his hand. She would
then kiss the hand of the mother-in-law and elders of
the family and seek their permission to go. A special
fatiha was offered just before the departure. It was
customary to feed seven mendicants or poor people
and to give them dresses before the ceremony began.

7.2 Labour

A local midwife, a Dai, was arranged as soon as
possible after the girl was brought home. The Dai was
the one who would prescribe the diet and medication,
including various oils and dry roots and barks to be

68

used in heating the water, for giving baths to the girl
pre- and post partum. She should be present during
labour, assisting in delivery, receiving the child and
cleaning up both mother and the baby. That was not
only her duty but an established right too.

If within reachable distance, the mother-in-law ought
to be informed immediately the labour pains start, so
that she could be there in time to receive the baby
from the Dai, that being her right.

Until about six days the child was kept wrapped in
used cotton cloth, washed in soapnut (Reettha or
Aaareettha) lather and dried in the sun, may be as a
sign of humility. Making dress or socks and sweaters in
advance for the expected child was prohibited, as it
was considered to affect the life of the child. One
possible reason was the prevalence of premature or
still births, and high infant mortality rates. The sight of
the dress so made could also induce grief to the
mother, much undesirable in the post partum
recovery period. Further, the sex of the child would be

69

known only after the birth, although some people
used to predict in advance from the shape of the
abdomen, it was thought to be an encroachment on
Allah’s domain.

Almost every household possessed a dry shrub called
Mariyam Phool or Mariyam
Booty, still seen at Arab sooks
and footpath vendors around
certain mosques in Medina
and Uhad. It is actually a

Mariyam Flower or booty branch of a desert shrub the
top of which folds like a

flower when dry. As soon as the labour pain started, it
would be immersed in a bowl of water and an old lady
would sit across watching it slowly opening up. It was
believed that the flower would reach full bloom by the
time the delivery takes place. So it was also a timer
device! Any delay in its blooming was attributed to
difficulty in labour. In order to ease the pain, strain
and delay the woman in labour was given the water
where the Mariyam flower was being soaked,

70

following an Arab custom where it was claimed that
Prophet (SA) administered Mariyam water to a
woman in severe labour pains and that she was
instantly relieved.

7.3 After Care

The first thing after the child was handed over by Dai
was to give Azaan by an immediately available male
member of either house. As a rule the Azaan was
given in the child’s right ear and was followed by
Iqamat in the left ear, standing with child facing the
direction of Qiblah.

The child was compulsorily breast fed, commencing
with the first day on colostrum , first breastmilk.

The new mother was given very light
food, like plain khichdi, porridge or
sooji milk etc. for the first week,
gradually enriching with liver, mutton
and chicken soups. One common item
was spring chicken soup, Bharani Soup, made by

71

boiling the ingredients in a Bharani (an earthen jar)
over low fire for almost a whole day, at the end of
which all the meat would have melted and the bones
left clean. The recovery medicines once included Coco
Brandy and red wine, later on substituted with
Dasamoola-rishtam and Jeerakarishtam mixed in
equal measure as an appetizer. Tonics included
prescriptions by Unani Hakeems or local Vaidyas .

The one very special addition of Cutchi tradition was
Goondh made with specially obtained clean pearls of
Arabic Gum, black cumin seeds, fenugreek, triphala,
tippali, allspice (Valmulaku), Khaskhas, cardamom
seeds and semolina (Sooji) lightly fried in cow’s ghee.
In some editions, cashew nuts, almonds and resins
were added.

These special medications continued until the fortieth
day after delivery and, for a while, beyond. However,
she was not allowed to take potatoes, tapioca, sweet
potato, taro, colocasia (Chembu), and certain pulses
like rajma, horsegram etc. as they would create

72

flatulence and the child would get stomach ache, as a
consequence. Ginger, Garlic and black pepper were
included in food preparations for their anti-flatulence
and detoxification properties. Seafood was selectively
avoided until the fortieth day for the same reason.

The daily routine from the seventh or tenth day
involved light body massage with medicated gingelly
oil or mustard oil. The oil was allowed to stay for an
hour or so till it got absorbed or dried. On alternate
days turmeric paste was applied instead of oil.
Thereafter the greasiness was removed by rubbing
green gram powder or shikakkai powder and taking
bath with water boiled with herbs like certain barks
having medicinal properties, known in the local
language as Nalpamara Patta (barks of Cluster Fig,
Peepal, Indian Laurel, Clustered Hiptage = Athi, Ithi,
Aal, Arash) and Nochi (Vitex negundo – Chinese
Chaste Tree) capable of relieving body ache, generally
suffered in labour and also postpartum. This was
known as ‘Ved jo Pani’. Soap of any kind was not used;
hair could , however, be washed with lather from

73

soaked Aareetha. The temperature of the water used
to be close to boiling point to begin with and gradually
reduced to bearable level over a period. After the bath
the hair was dried with incense
fumes from a Dhoopdani.

The Dai would tightly wrap around
the belly a
length of
cloth to assist in shrinking the
postpartum bulges and the
loosened skin, and also to
regain shape. The wrap was a
job that needed especial skill

with a dual aim of aiding in the process of shrinking
while ensuring that the knots did not restrict blood
circulation.

7.4 Baby Care

Grand mothers used to keep a small bag or chest of
medicines for the baby, known as Sut’thi. It contained

74

Nux Vomica, Kazhanji (Caesalpinia crista) seed,
Vayambu(Sweet Flag or Acorus Calamus), arq or
essence of Ajwayan and a host of herbs, and roots.
Nux vomica was scrubbed on a boat shaped mortar,
ukli, and the paste applied around the naval of the
child for gas or stomach disorders. Kazhanji was used
as anti-inflamatory. Drops of Ajwayan arq (ajme jo
araq) diluted with boiled water was given for gastric
problems. The mother would simultaneously get a
small cup, usually an Arabian kahawa cup, of the liquid

Sut’thi Boat Mortar Barrel Mortar Kahwa Cup

so that the child would get reinforcement through
breast feed. Vayambu, a long wood-like piece, would
be scorched on one end, rubbed on the ukli or a
ceramic plate to get a paste. The paste would then be
applied to the tongue of the child. This is said to
perfect the speech of the child in course of time. A

75

small barrel mortar was used for pounding other
medicines some of which were meant for common
colds, fever etc. In severe cases the hakim or vaidya
would prescribe medicine to be taken by the mother,
as a proxy for the child, to convey the same through
breast feed. Ensuring mother’s health was held as
essential for the child’s wellbeing. Indirectly, that was
also a kind of insurance for the mother’s health, while
at the mother-in-law’s house.

For the first few days, after
feeding, the baby would
invariably be sleeping. Lest it
should be disturbed and the
mother be inconvenienced,
the child would be laid in a
cradle made of cloth inlaid with soft cotton baby
mattress or a few layers of soft cotton cloth.

From the eighth day onwards the child was given a
light gingelly oil massage and mild exercise by crossing
the limbs daily. The child was then given warm water

76

bath holding it on the legs
of the lady giving the bath.
Further, the water for the
bath should have been
heated to a certain degree
and allowed to cool without
adding normal or cold water.
The body was wiped with
soft cotton cloth and dried

with incense fumes.

The entire thing was done by a Dai or an experienced
lady of the house taking care that water did not enter
the child’s lungs. Until after the fortieth day, the new
mother was not expected to handle any of these
chores, she being not sufficiently experienced in the
art or trained for it. Until the fortieth day the child was
essentially fed on breast milk, after which soft food
like cooked Ragi flour could be given in small doses.
The first such feed was the paternal grandma’s right.
Harder foods were introduced after one year.

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7.5 Chatti and Naming

The birth of a child was invariably an occasion to
celebrate. On the sixth day after the delivery, that is
the seventh day of the child’s life a function called
Chatti was held at the bride’s residence. The essence
of the function was shaving the head, naming the child,
and optionally conducting the khitan (circumcision,
Sunnath) if male. The bride’s father invited the
relatives on both sides, in consultation with the
Bridegroom’s parents. The Dhami conveyed the
invitation. If khitan was also scheduled, then the
Hajjam made a special announcement on behalf of the
father of the child.

7.6 Head Tonsure (Removing Birth Hair)

The child’s maternal uncle or, in his absence, the
father of the child or else an elder in either family as
desired by the rightful persons, held the child in his lap
while the hajjam shaved the child’s head. It had also
been a custom to let the child grow the hair for some

78

years. This happened if the parents or grandparents
had vowed that the hair or its equivalent in weight of
silver or silver coins would be donated to any
particular shrine, such as Ajmer Shareef, Nagore
Shareef or even the mazaars in their native Bhuj or
Abdaso, in Cutch, and had to wait until they could
travel themselves or find someone going over there.

Whatever be the timing, Chatti or later, the hajjam
would get a handsome remuneration. If it was on
Chatti, he would also share the Gor with Dhami and
Dai; Dai getting one half and other two sharing a
quarter of the collection each.

The hair would be weighed in a jeweller’s balance with
gold coins and the equivalent value would be donated
to the shrine concerned, if vowed, otherwise it would
be given away as charity.

After the head shave the Dhai would give the child a
warm water bath and dress it up with new clothes for
the first time. A black dot with Kajal was placed on the

79

right cheek or above the right
eyebrow to ward off any evil eye.
A charmed and knotted black
thread was tied on the left wrist to
ward off evil spirits. The child
would also have a black cord tied on its waist. Baby
girls would have a golden girdle.

The mother took the child from the Dhai and ritually
presented it to her husband. The father took the child
first for giving azaan, then a name, followed by
Tahneek as all the three items were his prerogatives
any of which he would delegate to any elder of his
choice. It could also be the Qazi if invited and present.
Azaan and Iqamat are given as indicated above.

7.7 Selecting the Name

The name for the child was selected and decided by
the father in consultation with both families, but the
final decision rested with him only. However, a strong
practice in vogue was to select a name from the Holy

80

Qur’an. An elder would take Wudu and after offering
two rakaats of namaz and prayer for getting the best
name that Allah shall assign him, would close his eyes
and open the Holy Qur’an on any page, on a Ryhal. He
would read out the two open pages to find a full name
or a verb or adjective that could lead to a name,
generally an attribute of Allah. He would then present
his findings to the father of the child, who will decide
on a name in consultation with others.

This exercise was normally done a day or two before
the Chatti or a little while before the function. For a
male child adding of the word “Abdel” (corrupted as
Abdul) to a name derived from Allah’s attributes, to
connote Allah’s servant, was essential, as without it
the name represented Allah himself; an exception
being “Abdullah”. It was usual to prefix “Mohammad”
to it, except when the chosen name was “Mohammad”
or “Ahmad”. There were no such considerations in
selecting the name for a girl child, although names of
women and the wives of various prophets mentioned
in the Holy Qur’an, and wives and daughters of Rasool

81

(SA) and As’habees (companions of the Prophet, SA)
were preferred, picking the name from the Holy
Qur’an not withstanding.

One of the very early practices was to suffix the nukh,
name of the clan, to the names of boys, such as
Kamlani, Noorani, Hashmani, selat, etc. Later on this
practice was discontinued, partly because the persons
born away from Cutch could not identify themselves
with any clan, though many did know and boasted
about their nukh. The title originally used by the rich
and the head of the Jamaath, Seth, corrupted as Sait,
following the Turkish pronunciation and the local
appellation Sett, became fashionable. The title Sait
thus became a surname. Interestingly, there is still a
small number of people who deserve to be styled as
Seth or Sait, refraining from using it.

7.8 Announcing the Name

It was traditionally believed that a child recognized
sounds, taste and smell from the seventh day. The

82

name, having already been decided upon, would be
announced thrice into each ear, as if telling the child
“your name is and shall be such and such” and it was
believed that the child did understand that. The
naming was followed by a dua (prayer) for the long life
and prosperity of the child as a devoted Muslim. The
tradition had it that this will be the name, suffixed by
the name of the father, that will be recognized on the
day of Judgment.

While guests would make gifts of cash or small
ornaments like rings, bangles, and bracelets, the
grandparents were invariably looked upon to gift
ornaments like waist bands, chains, bangles, rings etc,
heavier particularly if the child was a girl.

7.9 Tahneek (Maakhi Chattayno)

The first taste the child
should recognize, other
than that of the breastmilk
it was being fed with, must

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be administered solemnly and done ceremoniously.
Rasool (SA) used to chew a piece of ripe date, soft and
sweet, and place a bit of it in the mouth of the child.
The Cutchi tradition was for the father or an elder to
whom the rite was delegated to take the child in his
arms or lap, dip his forefinger in honey rubbed with a
gold ring, and to place the honey in between the lips
of the child, three times. It was believed that the child
would imbibe all the qualities of the person doing the
tahneek.

7.10 Aqeeqa

It was incumbent on the father of the child to perform
aqeeqah by sacrificing a sheep or goat for a girl and
two for a boy. The obligation arises on the seventh
day, but the performance could be postponed to a
later date. The Cutchi tradition was to make the
sacrifice along with Chatti so that the invitees could be
served with food prepared with the sacrificial meat.
Even when it was postponed, if there was an occasion

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to connect, like the Khitan, puberty or marriage, the
meat could be used for serving the guests.

Rasool (SA) used to insist that parents of the child for
whom the aqeeqah was done should also eat from the
same. However, some people, out of ignorance of this
ruling, used to consider it as Charity and something
the child, his or her parents, and grand-parents shall
not partake from. When confronted with the issue
they used to add another goat or so to the sacrificial
meat to make it good for them to eat. Where there
was no occasion to connect, the meat used to be
distributed among friends, relatives and poor people,
retaining a portion for themselves.

7.11 40th Day Bathing

Post partum a ceremonial bath, in medicated hot
water, was taken by the mother, on the 39th day if the
child was a boy and 40th day if a girl. At that time no oil
or turmeric was applied; she could use any perfumed
soap, if so desired. She would wear new clothes
provided by her husband for the occasion, apply kajal

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or surma and perfume, but shall remain veiled until
the husband would appear before her and she had
seen his face. She could see anyone else only after she
had seen the husband’s face. The husband, the
mother-in-law and close relatives on both sides shall
have to be forewarned and invited for the event. She
would kiss the hands of her husband, mother-in-law,
father-in-law, her parents, other elderly ladies, elder
brothers and sisters, in that order. A Gor was not
usually taken, although the Dai, the hajjamon, and
dhami’s wife were paid handsomely and gifted with
new dresses. A further ritual attached to the occasion
was to carry on her head a large plate, a khumcho,
filled with a mixture of rice flour and grated coconut
fried together and sprinkled with sugar or powdered
sakkar, and to distribute fistfuls from it to all those
present. Conducting of a moulud, general feast, and
poor feeding were usual formalities.

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7.11 Khitan or Sunnath

A Social Need
Circumcision is a rite whereby a person is recognized
as a member of the Islamic society. The requirement
was honoured in all Abrahamic societies. Jews also
perform the rites but not exactly in the manner
observed by Muslims. For them it is the sacrifice of a
part of the body for the pleasure of Jehovah. Though
Esa (AS) had undergone circumcision, Christians
discontinued the practice as they consider his alleged
sacrifice on the Cross was sufficient discharge of that
obligation for all those who believed in him. For
Muslims it is a religious obligation and a means of
recognition of one having become a Muslim, as well as
a hygienic need – not a sacrifice at all!

Role of the Hajjam
The procedure involves surgically removing the
foreskin which would otherwise gather dirt and drops
of urine which would eventually nullify wudu, unless
cleaned every time wudu is needed.

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At least until about 1950, circumcision was observed
as a community affair. The villain of the occasion was
the Hajjam who was traditionally well versed in the
process including after care.

Chatti was the earliest occasion a child could be
circumcised, for the child would not physically
respond to the touch and may also not express fear or
discomfort. However, it was a delicate operation for
the Hajjam owing to the tenderness of the skin and
possibility of excessive bleeding. There were also risks
due to bad handling for feeding, cleaning and bathing
despite the availability of experienced Dai or other
person around. A good number of Memon families
had opted to delay the function until about the time
the boy was 7 or 9 years old. Below seven was
considered an age difficult to manage, particularly in
aftercare.

Having decided on a date and time for the function,
the Hajjam would carry the message and invite the

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male members of the Jamaath, including grown up
boys on behalf of the boy’s father. The usual practice
was to hold the function on a Friday afternoon after
Asr prayer, just before sunset, when the atmosphere
would not be very warm and risk of excessive bleeding
low.

Preparations
Aqeeqa would be performed if not already done
earlier and a feast arranged at lunch time where
relatives and other guest would join. The boy would
be given bath and a set of new clothes to wear. He
would also be garlanded like a bridegroom. Either the
boy would be seated in a high chair or led by the
father or an uncle to the elders in the family, both
men and women, such that he may kiss their hands.
Cash gifts and Gor were common, proceeds of the Gor
going to the Hajjam.

Guests took their seats in a pandal or shamiana,
depending on the size of the gathering, at one end of
which a screened enclosure was prepared with a chair

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or stool for the Jallado to sit and receive the boy on
his lap. In the meanwhile the Hajjam would have
prepared a clip with two pieces of a vein of green
coconut leaves, a small bottle of medicated coconut
oil, cotton and a roll of nice bandage cloth. He would
also have his razor sterilized, so to say, on candle
flame.

The Surgery
The boy finally
kissed the hands of
his parents and
was led to the
shamiana where he
was directed to
greet the gathering

with a salam. Then he was led to the enclosure
accompanied by a small number of adults,
prearranged. Once inside, the boy removed his upper
garments and replaced the lower ones with a bath
towel or a short piece of cloth. He was then received
by the Jallado on his lap who held the boy tightly and

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lifted his head upwards so that he would not try to
look downwards while the surgical process was on.
Two men stationed on either side of the seat firmly
held the boy’s legs.

The Hajjam stripped off the cloth from the boy’s loins
and kept it for himself. The gathering around started
chanting Takbeer loudly enough to submerge the cry
of the boy. With the boy in firm hold the Hajjam
pulled away the foreskin, loosening it by inserting yet
another piece of coconut-leaf-vein, in case the skin
was tight, applied the clip tightly, and in a flash
chopped off the portion of the foreskin on his side,
receiving the falling piece on ashes in a receptacle
kept on the ground. The clip fell off as it lost the grip.
The Hajjam gave a quick wrap to arrest bleeding. The
whole episode got over in quick succession, usually
within the time it took for three Takbeers, thanks to
the professional dexterity of the Hajjam.

In another part of the house the mother was made to
sit with her hands immersed in cold water, to prevent

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her swooning out of anxiety for the boy. In many cases
this procedure not only failed to calm her but also
resulted in her catching severe cold and ending in fits.

In the meanwhile a bed would have been arranged for
the boy, with a tent like devise
hanging by a cord such that it
provided a cover without touching
the body, especially the wound.
The boy was immediately carried
flat in hands by the Jallado or any

other able bodied person
straight to the bed kept
ready for him. If the child
was circumcised on or
about the Chatti then he
would have been kept in
the room itself and laid in
a Peengo (cradle)
afterwards.

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The Hajjam, after disposing off the wastes, returned to
the boy to give him a permanent packing with the
cloth bandage around the wound, partially covering
the glans. The bandage was soaked with medicated oil.
The wound would normally heal in seven to nine days
and the bandage remained in position all along and
was being moistened with the same oil daily.

While the boy was being attended to, the
guests were entertained with tea and
nankhattai or sherbath and presented with a
paper cone pack of sakkar.

From the evening of the same day women of the
households invited for the day’s function would start
visiting. They would visit on any day before the boy
took his bath after the convalesence. There was an
interesting custom attached to these visits. The
visitors brought two de-husked coconuts and a
measure of rice. The host returned the compliment
with white sugar in weight or measure equal to the
rice brought. This was known as Dai Nayar jo Rivaj.

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By the seventh day the wound would have fully healed
and the bandage fallen off automatically. If not it
would be wetted with warm water and carefully
removed. The boy was given hot water bath and new
clothes. It was generally followed with a Moulud and
Dua. If the boy had already been introduced to Salah,
he would also offer two rakaats of Nafil Namaz by way
of thanks giving.

The rice and coconuts were divided into three
portions, one for the hajjam, one for the Dai if she was
around, particularly if the function was held along
with Chatti, and the remaining given away to poor
people. The household did not appropriate any
portion to themselves.

7.12 Anniversaries

Cutchi Memons were not habituated to celebrating
wedding anniversaries or birth days. On their birth
days, until the children were under the care and vision

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of the mother, she offered a sadqah. They would be
asked to take bath and put on clean dress, not
necessarily new ones.
A plate or basket containing a measure of rice or
wheat, a packet of Mong, one or two eggs, a piece of
turmeric, a piece of charcoal and some common salt
would be circulated over the head and before the face
of the child and offered as Sadqa to a poor person
who would be waiting outside by prior arrangement.
There ended the ritual. At the most they would be
asked to offer two rakaats of Nafil prayer.

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PART III
DEATH

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8.0 DEATH AND FUNERAL

8.1 Sakarath, Waseeyath and Naseehath

Frequency of sudden deaths in the bygone days was
much lower than today. Most people had experienced
the slow and steady creeping up of chill announcing
imminent death. The main symptom was the
numbness that started from toes going upto the waist,
then suddenly advancing to the chest and ceasing of
the breath. This period is known as Sakarat. The
knowledge of creeping death provided an opportunity
to regret, on one hand, and to give advice and
instructions, on the other – Naseehath and Waseeyath.
Both are necessary and desirable according to pundits
of Islamic Shariyah.

Naseehath denotes advice to the younger members of
the family on matters of faith, behavior and
relationships etc. Waseeyath relates to the disposal of
one’s wealth. According to Shariah, a person can make
a waseeyath for one third of his or her assets that

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would be left over on death. The Indian Sharia Act
limits this right to one fourth. The rest is to be
distributed according to the law of inheritance under
the Act. While acting according to the Naseehath was
optional on the part of those to whom it was
addressed, waseeyath was binding on every one,
provided there were two male or one male and two
female or four female witnesses who were present
and clearly heard the instructions. If the subject
matter of the waseeyath exceeded the limit, the Qazi,
Jamath Seth or an elder acted as a mediator to
moderate the distribution. If it was less then whatever
remained, after separating the contents of the
waseeyath, had to be distributed as per the law of
inheritance.

Increase in the frequency of sudden deaths and high
expectation of recovery have, however, made Sakarat
less discernable and Naseehath and Waseeyath
irrelevant.

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It was customary to read the Qur’an, particularly
Surah Yaseen, during Sakarath. It was believed that
the recitation would mitigate the pain of Sakarath and
ease the process of death. Additionally someone
would sit close by and administer drops of Zamzam
water while encouraging the chanting, at least
mentally, of Kalma Shahadath, Kalma Tayyab, and
Duruds on Prophet(SA), till the breath stops. The
departing Soul was asked to reiterate the words “Inna
Lillahi wa Inna Ilaihi Raji’oon, whereby the soul was to
realize that it belonged to Allah and was returning to
Him, and continuing with phrases asking for the
forgiveness of Allah.

Burning incense, Loban, in a Lobandani, and incense
sticks was considered necessary to create a good
smelling environment while the angel of death visited,
and also to make those present more comfortable
should there be any foul smells rising, if the person
had been ill.

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8.2 Preparation for Burial

Once death was confirmed, the first thing done was to
rub down the eyes to close, tie the head and lower
jaw together with a cloth band and to tie the big toes
together. the body, with the clothes on, would be laid
on a mat on a cot or floor and covered with a white
cotton sheet. The clothes would be removed only at
the time of giving the bath. Saucers or metal cups with
water were placed under the feet of the cot to
prevent ants or other insects climbing up. A weight,
usually a heavy piece of metal, or stone or a handful
of grains, covered in a piece of white cloth was placed
on the naval to avoid flatulence of the stomach.

Sharia demands that the dead body should be buried
as early as possible; usually within 6 to 48 hours after
death. In most of the cases burial used to take place
within less than 24 hours. The timeline should
synchronize with the prayer times of the mosque, so
as to not cause any inconvenience to the devotees,
but to enable them join the Namaz-e-Janaza. A

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