Please meet our current volunteers for Voces de Cambio ...

Please meet our current volunteers for Voces de Cambio, Voices of Change, who have
bravely submitted their stories for publication. Below you will read testimonials of
incredible courage and inspiration behind these amazing advocacy volunteers.

Thank you Voces!

Reyna:

I lived for six years in an abusive relationship, enduring all kinds of abuse that would gradually
increase. I was under constant fear for my life and constant intimidation knowing that “no one
will help you”, “no one will hear you” and “no one will believe you”.

My failed attempts to escape would lead me to think he was right. But I never imagined that the
worst was yet to come. On the morning of August 16, 2008 as he had his hands on my neck
trying to choke me, my mind regressed to the memory of that three year old girl who had lost
her mother, and once again I felt the loss of that wonderful human being. At the same time I
remember that my own daughters unfortunately were right there witnessing everything.

Thanks to that memory I gathered the strength to escape from his grasp, to prevent the story
from repeating itself. The abuse continued as did the threat of prolonged abuse if I stayed. But
the memory of that young girl helped me reach out for help and made me promise him that he
would never lay a hand on me again.

With determination and hope that I would find help to end the cycle of violence around me but
aware that I could not do it alone, I went to Center for Domestic Peace. They listened to me and
they helped me, and I finally understood that all those things he used to say to me were lies. As
time went by I realized the countless times the advocates at Center for Domestic spoke out on
my behalf even without me noticing.

I had finally found a place of peace. That is how I felt every time I went to Center for Domestic
Peace. Thanks to the wonderful staff and the great work that they do I can now live a life
without violence, that I believe we all deserve. I joined Voices of Change for that reason. In that
group I learned that I have a commitment to myself to really make a change toward a better life
without violence. If we all made that commitment to ourselves we would be able to stop the
violence and prevent our children from losing a parent, like the girl from my memories.

Today I am a happy mother of two beautiful daughters, a student and a woman with
aspirations ready to make the necessary effort to accomplish them. I am a woman with self-

confidence, who wishes to live and is ready to be a positive example for her daughters. I am a
woman who learned how to smile and learned how to enjoy every moment of her life. Above all
I learned how to share and enjoy my freedom with my wonderful daughters.

This is my story. I am Reyna.

Damaris:

My Mom’s name is Reyna. From watching my mom, I saw a big difference. She inspired me. I
feel safe from nightmares. So I decided to also enjoy what she was doing. Now as the youngest
volunteer at Voice of Change. I want to help and this is a good way to do it. To help children so
that they do not suffer with what happens around them. So they can have a better childhood.

My name is Damaris. I am 10 years old. I have a litter sister. I’m a 5th grader. I love to play the
violin, I am part of a chorus of girls and also I attend dance school. Now I feel better and I live
happily ever after with my family.

Erika:

There are dates in a person’s life that are unforgettable and others that scar them forever.

I am a survivor of domestic violence that lived and suffered through physical and psychological
abuse for more than a year. That relationship left me emotionally destroyed with little will to go
on living, damaging my life and that of my family.

One afternoon on January 2007, my life changed forever. It was that afternoon that I heard the
voice of hope on the other side of the telephone, offering me support and guidance to come out
of the profound pain I was living in. That voice then turned into a group of people who
unselfishly offered to help me and to keep me safe, until the day came when I had regained my
dignity and was able to join society again. That group was Center for Domestic Peace.

I am currently working for the Ritter Center, one of the many non-profit organizations in Marin
that help community members. I have also been a member of Voices of Change for three years.
Together we help inform, educate and prevent domestic violence by letting people know about
resources such as Center for Domestic Peace.

I am Erika, a Marin resident who will always be grateful to the staff at Center for Domestic
Peace for helping me be alive today.

Ramona:

My name is Ramona, I came to seek help at Center for Domestic Peace on February 28, 2007. It
was the first time in a long time I felt safe. I had escaped the abuse of my ex-husband who had
kidnapped me and my kids in Mexico, where I never received any help.

Center for Domestic Peace offered me the assistance I needed to be able to provide my children
with stability and a way to heal from the trauma we had gone through. I chose to join Voices of
Change for what it stands for. The name to me means that if enough of us speak out we may not
be able to stop domestic violence completely but we will be able to reduce the amount of people
and children that get abused. Through our voices we can pass along information to people in
need who for whatever reason can’t or won’t ask for help to escape the cycle of abuse the live in.

This is why I share my story. My children and I were kidnapped for around six to seven
months. My ex would abuse me in front of my one year old daughter Alyeda and my son Hugo
only a few months old. On one occasion I was pleading with my ex to let us go with my family.
He then told me that he would never let us go and in a fit of rage, grabbed my son and put a
gun to his head and said to me, “Go! But as soon as you take that step, I’ll kill him”. I ran to take
my son away from him and he began to hit me repeatedly. He then threw me on the bed and
put the gun to my head, as my kids watched and cried, he pulled the trigger, by the grace of
God the gun jammed and I was saved. I was able to escape with my family to the United States.
Once here I thought it was all over but my ex came looking for and tried to take me and the
children back with him again, because according to him we were his property.

But thank you to Center for Domestic Peace, who helped me stay safe. I currently live in Santa
Rosa, work in Marin Head Start, and I am a mother of three amazing kids and have a very
supportive partner whom I plan to marry one day.

Jen:

Relationships: Relationships are precious, they are good when they start and it is good to have
each other, it is part of our life. But when it is abused and wilted, it destroys everything. It
seems that there is no hope, joy or cheer. But we shouldn’t give up because our relationships do
not end with one person, there are still people that love you and care about you. Our family, our
friends and other people around us are willing to help.

I am a resident of Marin working at College of Marin as a janitor. I am very blessed, for me it is
an answered prayer to have found the help of Center for Domestic Peace and my friends.

I am a new member of Voices of Change. I joined because I wanted to be a part of the help and
hope for other people.

Maria Guadalupe:

My life changed when I received help from Center for Domestic Peace on December 6, 2011,
after having been a victim of domestic violence for fourteen years.

Because of their support, I decided to turn my life around and transform all the negative stuff I
lived through into something positive. That is why I decided to become a member of Voices of
Change.

Today I am no longer a victim, I am a survivor with self-confidence and the clarity to know
what I want. I can have in a life free from domestic violence. Without the threat of violence, I
now have a great opportunity to make my own decisions like going to school to learn how to
read, speak and write English. I learned this through the help I got from Center for Domestic
Peace. Now I understand that we all have the right to be respected and the right to lead a life
free from domestic violence.

I decided to join Voices of Change to help other women realize that they also have the right to
live a life without violence and abuse.

My name is Maria Guadalupe. I am a mother of eight and I work as a janitor.

Maria:

I lived in an abusive relationship for four years. During this time, I endured all types of abuse,
yet deep down inside I knew it was not right, that it was not healthy but I didn’t know where to
go or who to turn to for help. One day I came across a commercial for the National Domestic
Violence hotline where they help people in my situation. They connected to what was then
Marin Abused Women’s Services where a telephone call turned into shelter and safety for me
and my children. While at Center for Domestic Peace shelter, I was able to obtain transitional
housing and all the aid and support I needed to be able to stand on my own two feet when my
time at the shelter was over. I thought the worst was behind me, that the life of abuse was over.
I didn’t realize however, that the abuse continued to exist in the judgmental criticism from my
community and the disapproval of my own family for raising my children without their father.
In many ways the pressure from my family made feel obligated to return to my abuser.

This time the abuse was not similar to the past, it was worse. It was hell. The abuse had always
been constant but now it was more dangerous because I had become an obsession to the father

of my children. This time he would threaten to take his own life if I left him, he even threatened
to kill my brothers, harm my family and take the kids away from me. I did not know what to
do. I had let myself down by going back to him, and because I was ashamed of my situation I
did not want to turn to Center for Domestic Peace again.

One day I gathered all my courage and told him that I was going to leave him. Enraged, he took
a knife to his throat and warned me that he would kill himself if I left. I managed to calm him
down by convincing him that I would stay but he told me he didn’t believe me and that he was
going to burn the apartment down with us in it, that he didn’t care if he burned down the entire
building. Somehow I managed to escape and with all my shame, I returned to Center for
Domestic Peace a second time. That time was like the first. I was treated with respect and was
able to file a police report with my Advocate and went back to shelter. But this was different for
me because I realized that I would no longer allow my community and unfortunately my
family, to influence my decisions.

During those days when I was receiving assistance from Center for Domestic Peace, it became
clear that God had given me a second chance at life and a mission to accomplish. My mission is
to contribute in whatever way possible to uphold Center for Domestic Peace’s statement of
purpose, to create a world free of domestic violence by educating society, my community and
my family, the same people who pressured me to return to my abuser. Being part of Voices of
Change allows me to work on that goal, by attending our meetings and helping out at events
we continue to spread awareness regarding domestic violence and what a healthy and equal
relationship should be like

My name is Maria Ayala. I am a single mother with two teenagers. I own my own business and
am currently working toward a degree in education while improving my second language.

Center for Domestic Peace not only provided me with all the help I needed, they also gave me
the opportunity to be a survivor and to become a voice of change.

Maria M.:

By January of 2004, I had been in an abusive relationship for ten years. In time the severity of
the abuse increased along with our deteriorating economic situation and my husband’s
increased use of drugs and alcohol. Emotional abuse was constant, brought on by arguments
concerning my husband’s drug use. He would tell me that he’d rather kill me than let me leave
him. Another of the many incidents of abuse throughout my relationship with my husband was
when he tried to stab me on our bed after I refused to be intimate with him. Luckily I was able
to move enough so he stabbed the mattress instead.

Despite my intense fear of his threats, I decided to leave him one night but he caught me and
put a gun to my face so I would stay. That night seemed endless. I called the police and my
brother since we lived in Inverness. The police was of little help.They not only arrived after my
brother but they didn’t believe that my husband had threatened me with a gun. They classified
the incident as a simple spousal dispute and left. Fortunately, they gave me a resource card with
places where I could help.
The next day I called Marin Abused Women’s Services and was able to see an advocate the
same day. It was then that I realized that the police officer who had gone to my home the night
before had not filed a police report. The advocates helped me file a police report an Emergency
Protective Order and for custody of my children. Unfortunately the abuse continued. My
husband violated the six month restraining order on more than forty occasions. The last time he
tried to come near me he began breaking all the windows because I wouldn’t let him in the
house. I was scared because some of the glass shattered near my youngest daughter, but thanks
to my son, I was able to call the police. Thankfully, the police responded promptly to the call
and I was able to get help.
The process to protect my family and myself was long and tedious. I had to file a lot of
paperwork, go to many meetings and attend court hearings. I was very fortunate to have had an
advocate from Center for Domestic Peace guiding me and supporting me every step of the way.
I was motivated to join Voices of Change to give back some of the help I received from Center
for Domestic Peace and to share my experience with others, so they would know that there is
help out there for people dealing with spousal abuse.
Being part of Voices of Change gives me the satisfaction of knowing that I am a survivor doing
my part to end domestic violence so we can all lead violence free lives.

www.c4dp.org/voces-de-cambio