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Depression
Anxiety
Chronic Fatigue
2 Jehovah aware of sickness on earth
2 References for spiritual help
4 Do More Than Say: “Keep Warm and Well Fed”
8 An Educated Tongue—“To Encourage the Weary”
13 Defeating Depression—How Others Can Help
17 “Spiritual Words” for the Mentally Distressed
20 How to Help Depressed Ones Regain Joy
23 Mental Distress—When It Afflicts a Christian
27 Tormented Minds
27 Living With a Mood Disorder
30 Hope for Sufferers
33 How Others Can Help
34 You Can Be Happy Despite Disappointment
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Depression back
Ps 94:17-19, 22. 17 If Jehovah had not been my helper, I would soon have perished.
18 When I said: “My foot is slipping,” Your loyal love, O Jehovah, kept supporting me. 19 When
anxieties overwhelmed me, You comforted and soothed me.
22 But Jehovah will become a secure refuge for me, My God is my rock of refuge.
Ps 51:17. 17 The sacrifices pleasing to God are a broken spirit; A heart broken and crushed, O
God, you will not reject.
Isa 33:24. 24 And no resident will say: “I am sick.” The people dwelling in the land will be
pardoned for their error.
Rev 21:4 . And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither
will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”
Phill 4:6,7. 6 Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication
along with thanksgiving, let your petitions be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God that
surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ
Jesus.
Matt 9:12. 12 Hearing them, he said: “Healthy people do not need a physician, but those who
are ill do.
C.F.S References for spiritual help back
Chronic fatigue syndrome 1992 Awake Aug 22
Caring As shepherds of the flock 1976 Wt July 1 p409
Cooperation Between medical profession and us 1993 Awake Nov 22
Depression Finding joy in a depressing world 1990 Wt Mar 1 p3-9
Grief Facing loss of a child 1987 Awake Aug 8 p1-15
Grief They need their friends 1980 Wt Jan 1 p25-27
Grief Help dying in modern age 1991 Awake Oct 22 p3-9
Grief When someone you love dies 1985 Awake Apr 22 p1-13
Grief When a loved one dies 1992 Awke July 22 p1-9
Grief How to help the elderly 1993 Wt Aug 15 p29-30
Helping Who needs comfort 1078 Wt Oct 15 p16-18
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Hospice 3 1991 Awake Oct 22 p3-9
Help dying in modern age
Hospitals How we can cope 1991 Awake Mar 8 p1-13
Loneliness What can you do about it 1993 Awake Sept 22 p3-
11
Sids Facing grief as parents 1988 Awake 22 p3-12
Stress Stress a modern epidemic 1980 Awake Oct 8 p1-15
Stress Finding comfort in times of distress 1992 Wt July 15 p19-22
Suffering Taking delight in suffering 1972 Wt Mar 15 p174-185
Surgery Pioneering bloodless surgery 1991 Awake Nov 22 p8-11
Visiting Things to watch when we are visiting the sick 1977 Awake July 8 p24-26
Visiting a patient-how to help 1991 Awake March p9-11
Contents-Helping Those with Depression
Wt86 10/15pp15-21 “Do more than say “Keep warm and well fed”
Wt82 6/1 pp 9-14 “An educated tongue” “to encourage the weary”
g87 11/8 pp12-16 “Defeating depression” “How others can help”
Wt88 11/15 pp21-24 “Spiritual words” for the mentally depressed”
Wt90 3/15 pp26-30 “How to help depressed ones regain joy”
Wt88 10/15 pp25-29 “Mental distress-When it effects a Christian”
G04 1/8 pp12-13 “How can others help”
“Tormented Minds”
“Living with mood disorder”
“Hope for sufferers”
“How others can help”
Wt08 1/3 pp13-16 “You can be happy despite disappointment”
Wt08 1/4 p9 “An observer who sees our worth”
Talk outline “Have no anxiety” deals with worry, guilt, low self esteem, I’ll be happy when…..”
very encouraging worth reading
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*** w86 10/15 pp. 15-21 Do More Than Say: “Keep Warm and Well Fed” ***
Do More Than Say: “Keep Warm and Well Fed”
“If . . . one of you says to [needy brothers]: ‘Go in peace, keep warm and well fed,’ but you
do not give them the necessities for their body, of what benefit is it? . . . Faith, if it does not
have works, is dead in itself.”—JAMES 2:15-17.
IT IS calculated that Lebechi Okwaraocha was born before 1880, so he is well over a hundred
years old. He inherited and worshiped his Nigerian parents’ juju. Then, when in his 80’s, he began to
study the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses. He applied what he learned and was baptized. Thus he
has been a Witness for about 30 years. Not long ago, elders from his congregation visited him and his
72-year-old Anglican wife after a very heavy downpour. Both were despondent—the floor of their
thatched hut was under water, and they had no relatives who would provide lodging or help them to
make repairs. Had you been there, what would you have done? Before finding out what happened, let
us consider some Bible advice.
2 Christ Jesus “gave himself for us that he might . . . cleanse for himself a people peculiarly his
own, zealous for fine works.” (Titus 2:14) These works center on the lifesaving Kingdom preaching.
(Mark 13:10; Revelation 7:9, 10) However, Christian “fine works” include more than the vital preach-
ing, for Jesus’ half brother James explains: “The form of worship that is clean and undefiled from the
standpoint of our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their tribulation, and to
keep oneself without spot from the world.”—James 1:27.
3 Congregations in the first century were involved in both kinds of “fine works.” In 1 Timothy chap-
ter 3, after outlining the qualifications of overseers and ministerial servants, the apostle Paul wrote
that “the congregation of the living God [is] a pillar and support of the truth.” (1 Timothy 3:1-15) He
showed that Christians who stay by such truthful teachings could save themselves and those who lis-
ten to them. (1 Timothy 4:16) Then Paul discussed the ‘fine work’ of caring materially for faithful wid-
ows who were “destitute.”—1 Timothy 5:3-5.
4 Hence, in addition to our evangelizing, we should be giving attention to “fine works,” such as
‘looking after orphans and widows in their tribulation.’ What can elders and ministerial servants do in
this regard, as “those who are taking the lead”? (Hebrews 13:17) How can others of us assist them in
this? And what can we personally do in performing “fine works” of this sort?
Elders Who Take a Fine Lead
5 When a special need arose in Judea, Paul, an elder, took the lead in arranging a relief ministry.
Such leadership minimized any confusion; things could be distributed equitably, according to need.
(1 Corinthians 16:1-3; Acts 6:1, 2) Modern elders, too, have taken the lead in relief ministries after dis-
astrous floods, mud slides, tidal waves, tornadoes, or earthquakes, thus ‘keeping an eye in personal
interest upon others.’—Philippians 2:3, 4.
6 Awake! of October 8, 1986, gave an example of such Christianity in action. Elders responded
when a broken levee caused flooding in California, U.S.A. These spiritual shepherds quickly checked
on their flock to see who might be missing or in need of medical care, food, or accommodations. The
elders coordinated their efforts with the headquarters office of Jehovah’s Witnesses. A relief commit-
tee was set up, and as fellow Witnesses arrived to help, they were organized into crews to clean up
and repair damaged homes. The elders supervised the purchasing and distributing of supplies too.
This illustrates that when such special needs arise, ‘each disciple can determine according to what he
can afford to give’ or to do, but it would be wise to consult with local overseers and get directions from
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them.—Compare Acts 11:27-30.
7 While you (elder or not) might occasionally be able to respond to a major need after a disaster,
there are more common needs that can be just as vital—those right in your congregation. Because
these needs may not be as sensational as a major disaster, they can easily be overlooked or given
minimal attention. But local needs actually are the type mentioned in James 2:15-17. Yes, your con-
gregation may offer the greatest challenge as to whether your ‘faith has works, or is dead in itself.’
8 In taking the lead, elders should strive to be “wise and understanding.” (James 3:13) With wisdom
they can protect the flock against impostors who go from brother to brother (or congregation to con-
gregation) borrowing money or inventing stories to get “help.” Overseers wisely do not sympathize
with laziness, for the Bible rule is: “If anyone does not want to work, neither let him eat.” (2 Thessalo-
nians 3:10-15) Still, they do not want to ‘shut the door of their own tender compassions’ or lead their
brothers to do that. (1 John 3:17) Another reason why they must show wisdom is that the Bible does
not give us endless rules about caring for the needy and the afflicted. Situations differ from era to era
and place to place.
9 For example, in 1 Timothy 5:3-10 Paul discussed deserving widows who had been “left destitute.”
Their believing relatives were primarily responsible to help them; neglecting that duty could damage
the relatives’ standing with God. If, though, a needy and deserving widow could not obtain help in this
way, it was possible for the elders to arrange for some material aid from the congregation. In recent
times, too, some congregations have aided especially needy ones in their midst. However, most lands
now have tax-supported programs for the aged, infirm, or those willing but unable to find work. Christi-
an elders may want to help in another way though. Some who are in genuine need and who fully qual-
ify for public benefits are not receiving such because they do not know how to apply or are too timid to
ask. Thus elders may inquire of governmental agencies or contact Witnesses who are experienced in
these matters. They then may arrange for a capable brother or sister to help the needy person to re-
ceive the available benefits.—Romans 13:1, 4.
Organizing for Practical Help
10 Alert overseers are often the key to seeing that afflicted and needy ones receive help from loving
brothers and sisters. The elders should be alert to spiritual and physical needs as they shepherd all in
the flock. Understandably, elders give emphasis “to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” (Acts 6:4)
Hence, they would try to arrange things so that bedridden or hospitalized members of the flock are
spiritually fed. The elders may have the meetings recorded for those unable to attend. Elders and min-
isterial servants taking their turn delivering the tapes have found that their visits enable them to impart
other spiritual gifts. (Romans 1:11, 12) At the same time, they can check current needs.
11 They might note that a handicapped or aged sister could at times come to the Kingdom Hall, or
have a brief share in the field ministry, if some sister helped her bathe and dress. (Compare Psalm
23:1, 2, 5.) The overseers could even assign one of their number to make the arrangements. Simi-
larly, they might ask the congregation for volunteers to travel with the afflicted person or to provide a
ride. Having a schedule for this would make things even more orderly.
12 Elders may observe other matters in which help could be offered or loving arrangements made.
For instance, an aged or sick sister has not been able to care for her house as she used to. Could
some ministerial servants and others lend her a hand? Their trimming the lawn or shrubs might even
make her feel better, knowing that the house now is no cause for reproach in the neighborhood. Does
the garden need weeding or watering? Might some sister who is going food shopping be willing to
check with her and then shop for needed items? Remember, the apostles were interested in such
practical aspects, and they organized capable ones in the congregation to help.—Acts 6:1-6.
13 Such Christian concern was shown by the elders mentioned earlier who, while making a shep-
herding call, found Lebechi Okwaraocha and his wife in a sad state. Quickly the body of elders took
up the matter and let the congregation know what they had in mind—rebuilding the house. Various
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brothers and sisters donated materials and willingly shared in the project. In a week, they built a se-
cure, metal-roofed little house. The report from Nigeria is:
“The villagers were surprised and spontaneously brought food and beverages for the brothers and
sisters busily working long hours to complete the job before the next downpour. Many villagers voiced
complaints about other religious groups who, they said, plunder the people instead of helping the
poor. This incident was the talk of the community. The villagers have become very receptive, and
many home Bible studies have been started.”
Your Share in These “Fine Works”
14 Of course, we can often respond privately and directly to the needs of the elderly, infirm, hospital-
ized, or those otherwise afflicted who are around us. If we see a way to display real Christianity, why
not go ahead and try to help? (Acts 9:36-39) Our motivation is, not pressure from others, but Christian
love. The first ingredient to any practical aid is our having genuine interest and compassion. Of
course, none of us can turn back the clock for the aged, cure sickness by miracles, or equalize the
economic standing of all in the congregation. But we should definitely have a concerned and a giving
spirit. When we have that, and we act accordingly, it will strengthen the bond of love between us and
those whom we aid. It did so between Paul and Onesimus, who was a relatively new Christian who
‘ministered to Paul in his prison bonds.’—Philemon 10-13; Colossians 3:12-14; 4:10, 11.
15 Sometimes we can respond to a material need with a kind gift, whether sent anonymously or giv-
en in private. Has a brother lost his job and been unable to find another one? Does a sister face unex-
pected medical bills; has she had an accident or been robbed? Situations like this may arise around
us. When we make “gifts of mercy,” our Father looking on in secret will observe and approve. (Mat-
thew 6:1-4) Or, rather than giving money, we may, like Job, be able to provide garments for the poor
and food supplies or home-cooked meals for the widow or fatherless.—Job 6:14; 29:12-16; 31:16-22.
16 Your experience or contacts can become a source of practical aid. A brother asked Brother W—
— for a loan. His kind response was: ‘Why do you feel that I might have any extra money to lend?’
The reply given was: ‘Because you’re a better manager of your money.’ With discernment, Brother
W——, who had often lent money to needy ones, suggested: ‘Perhaps what you really need is some
help in learning to manage your money, and I would be glad to assist if you want my help.’ Such help
is especially appreciated by brothers who need to adjust their standard of living to new circumstances
or who are willing to work hard even at some less esteemed type of job. Of course, if a loan is truly
needed, it would be good to make a signed record of it so that no problems arise later. Yet, many
brothers who are disinclined to borrow money would deeply appreciate personal assistance in the
form of advice or shared experience. (Romans 13:8) This is illustrated by an experience from West
Africa involving Emmanuel:
Though Emmanuel was a trained barber, customers were few, and he was disheartened over his
inability to earn a living. Then an alert elder in the congregation asked Emmanuel if he would consider
doing another type of work. Yes, was his response, for he was not going to let professional pride
stand in the way. The elder spoke with associates and located a job for Emmanuel as an attendant in
a hospital. He has done well in this work and has been able to help others in the congregation.
17 When a fellow Christian is in a hospital or a nursing home, there are special opportunities to
help. Again, sincere interest and concern are fundamental. You might show these by your willingness
to read to the patient upbuilding Christian literature or to relate encouraging experiences. Are there,
though, physical needs that you can help with? In some areas, medical facilities are so overtaxed that
a patient is not bathed or fed unless a visitor does it. So, if the doctors agree, you might bring him a
nutritious meal or help him wash his hair or bathe. Would a warm robe or slippers be appreciated?
(2 Timothy 4:13) Or could you offer to care for some matter that is worrying the patient? Maybe he is
concerned about how his paycheck will be cashed and utility bills paid. You may provide helpful relief
by doing even simple things for him, such as making sure that mail does not pile up at his house, that
the plants get watered, or that the furnace is turned off.
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18 Undoubtedly, each of us can find ways in which we can improve in our doing more than just say-
ing, “Keep warm and well fed.” (James 2:16) Think of the brothers and sisters in your congregation.
Are some deserving ones genuinely in need materially, sick, handicapped, or bedridden? What can
you do in a practical way to help these beloved members of the congregation for whom Christ died?
Having this attitude will help you to be better prepared to respond quickly if difficulties arise.
19 By applying ourselves to assisting our brothers, we will be proving that our faith is not dead. That
same faith moves us to work hard in Christian preaching. We need to maintain balance between help-
ing others materially and regularly sharing in the Christian evangelizing. (Compare Matthew 15:3-9;
23:23.) Jesus’ counsel to Martha and Mary reflects that balance. He said that if a person were weigh-
ing material supplies in relation to spiritual food, the latter is “the good portion,” which will not be taken
away. (Luke 10:39-42) The sick and the poor will always be present in this system of things. We can,
and we should, do good things for them. (Mark 14:7) Still, the finest and most lasting good that we
can do is teaching others about God’s Kingdom. That is what Jesus concentrated on. (Luke 4:16-19)
It is the way that the poor, the sick, the afflicted, can receive permanent relief. What a joy it is to help
our brothers and others to rest their hope on God and to “get a firm hold on the real life.”—1 Timothy
6:17-19.
Do You Recall?
□ What are the most important “fine works” to be performed by the Christian congregation?
□ How can local elders give balanced attention to “fine works” relating to their brothers’ material cir-
cumstances?
□ What practical steps might be taken by the elders?
□ What practical things might you do to help your brothers or sisters who are in need?
[Study Questions]
1. How did a brother in Nigeria come into need?
2. Why are we interested in “fine works”?
3, 4. What can we learn from 1 Timothy chapters 3-5 about “fine works,” leading to what questions?
5. How did Paul meet a special need, with what modern parallels?
6. When a disaster occurred in California, U.S.A., what was the elders’ response?
7. To what more common needs should we also respond?
8. How may overseers show wisdom in handling needs in the congregation?
9. (a) How were deserving Christian widows cared for in the first century? (b) What form of help may
such ones benefit from today?
10. As they shepherd the flock, elders should give attention to what?
11. Illustrate how assistance might be arranged for a sister in need.
12. How can others work along with overseers in helping sick or aged ones?
13. What resulted from the elders’ helping the Nigerian brother mentioned earlier?
14. We should have what view of doing “fine works” toward our brothers?
15. How might we help some deserving ones who are genuinely in need?
16. In what other practical way can help sometimes be given? Illustrate.
17. How might you be able to help a brother who is in the hospital? (Psalm 41:1-3)
18. What are you determined to do regarding brothers in need?
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19. (a) Why is balance so important in this area? (b) What is the greatest good that we can do for
others, and why is this so? (Psalm 72:4, 16)
[Box on page 17]
The Congregation Cared
A couple who had moved to a small congregation in a rural area provided this thought-provoking re-
port:
‘Three years ago my wife and I sold our home and moved to a distant congregation that needed ma-
ture assistance because there had been some problems. Soon I had four positions of responsibility.
We loved the brothers and wanted to work with them. Over the months the congregation’s spirit im-
proved, and two fine elders moved in.
‘My wife began having health problems, and last year she needed major surgery. The day she en-
tered the hospital, I came down with hepatitis. Two months later, I was laid off because the economy
in the area was very bad. Our funds were exhausted, I was out of work, and both of us were trying to
regain our health. I was depressed because the district convention was coming up and I had a part on
the program. I also had an assignment on the circuit assembly in a couple of weeks. But with no mon-
ey, I had no idea how I could get to these or even take care of my family. One morning my wife went
out in the field service, and I sat down to review our situation.
‘As I looked out the window, I asked myself, Where is my trust in Jehovah? I had told my wife not to
worry, but now I was beginning to doubt. I then expressed my “little faith” to Jehovah and begged him
for help. As I finished praying, a brother knocked on the door. He wanted me to go with him for a cup
of coffee. I explained I had better not, for I had to work on a part for the meeting that night. He was
very insistent, though, saying that it would take only a few minutes. So we went. We returned a half
hour later, and as I got out of his car I felt better.
‘When I entered the house, I noticed that the kitchen counter was stacked with groceries. I thought
that my wife must have gone shopping. “But wait a minute, how could she, for we don’t have any
money.” Then I noticed an envelope. The front read:
‘“From your brothers and sisters, who love you very much. Don’t put any of this in the contribution
box. It has already been taken care of for you.”
‘I couldn’t hold back the tears. I thought of my “little faith,” and that made me cry more. Then my wife
came home. I just pointed to the food and the other gifts. She also broke down crying, along with the
two sisters who had come in with her. We tried to explain that we couldn’t accept so much, but the sis-
ters told us that no one knew who gave what. The whole congregation had a part, and they wanted to
do it because they felt that we had taught them how to give to others. This just brought more tears!’
Later, when he wrote up this account, the brother’s work had picked up. He and his wife were shar-
ing in the auxiliary pioneer service.
[Box on page 18]
Evidence of Christian Love
A congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses in the western United States faced a unique situation that al-
lowed them to manifest Christian love, such as is recommended in the Scriptures. In their territory, the
state opened a center to care for severely crippled victims of cerebral palsy. One of the first residents
of the center was Gary, 25 years old, who could no longer be cared for at home. The disease had left
him a quadriplegic, and his speech was affected too.
Gary had been a baptized Witness for seven years. Once in the new center, he wanted to attend
meetings of the local congregation. His parents lived not far away, and for a time they brought him.
But in view of their age, other brothers in the congregation began to help. One owned a van. So he,
his wife, and their two girls would get ready and leave home 45 minutes before the meeting so that
they could pick up Gary. They would take him back to the center afterward, thus getting home quite
late.
Something was developing at the center though. Other cerebral palsy victims manifested interest in
Bible truth. Soon a couple of them accepted a Bible study. Later, others also showed interest. How
could they all be brought to the meetings? Another family in the congregation purchased a van, and a
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business owned by local Witnesses made a third van available. Yet, these means at times were inad-
equate or inconvenient. Could the congregation do more?
The elders discussed this and then proposed that a van be purchased solely for bringing the handi-
capped ones to and from meetings. The congregation agreed and gladly contributed. Some Wit-
nesses from the surrounding area who heard of the undertaking made contributions too. A van was
obtained and fitted so that wheelchairs could be transported in it.
Now, each month a different Congregation Book Study shares in driving the van to meetings and as-
semblies. Five from the cerebral palsy center regularly attend, four of them now being baptized Wit-
nesses. They have come to be known and loved by many brothers and sisters who experience the
happiness of helping. How? By holding the songbook and looking up scriptures during meetings. At
circuit assemblies and district conventions, they even help to feed and care for those who cannot do
this for themselves. This has produced a mutual fondness that is truly heartwarming. And what about
Gary? He now serves as a ministerial servant in this congregation that has given such evidence of its
love.—Acts 20:35.
*** w82 6/1 pp. 9-14 An Educated Tongue—“To Encourage the Weary” *** back
An Educated Tongue—“To Encourage the Weary”
“I WILL give you shepherds in agreement with my heart, and they will certainly feed you with knowl-
edge and insight,” promised Jehovah God. Is it not refreshing to be cared for by spiritual shepherds
who possess both knowledge and insight?—Jeremiah 3:15.
Insight involves more than surface treatment. It requires looking beneath the surface. At Isaiah
44:18, insight is connected with the heart as distinct from the eye. This heartfelt insight is especially
needed as shepherds deal with “depressed souls.” Isaiah stated what else is needed: “The Lord GOD
gives Me the speech of the learned, so that I know how to talk to encourage the weary.”—Isaiah 50:4,
Beck’s translation.
One must be taught, educated by Jehovah, so as to know “how to talk to encourage the weary.” By
becoming well acquainted with the Bible, using it and displaying heartfelt insight, elders can success-
fully help many depressed persons. Most elders appreciate helpful suggestions about their shepherd-
ing. They may realize, perhaps by a regretful experience, that, though well meaning, some efforts can
prove disappointing. What follows deals with how to help persons who have become depressed. Ob-
viously, elders would deal somewhat differently with someone who was “unruly” or a ‘profitless talker’
in the congregation.—1 Thessalonians 5:14; Titus 1:10-13.
Often, a contrast in examples can help one to see proper and improper methods.
“Troublesome Comforters”
When Job was in a depressed state, three of his companions heard of his plight and came to “sym-
pathize with him and comfort him.” (Job 2:11) Because of having the wrong viewpoint of matters, they
were poorly equipped. They came with a preset theory in mind—if a person is suffering it is because
he has done something bad. As a result, they failed to understand what Job’s problems were all
about. The Interpreter’s Bible evaluates their “comfort”:
“It becomes an irritant. . . . It is a comment from the side lines, with a bit of good advice thrown in.
. . . like someone safely up on the beach throwing a cheery word or two to poor souls wrestling in the
great dark deeps, with the huge billows knocking the breath out of them. What Job needs is the com-
passion of a human heart. What he gets is a series of absolutely ‘true’ and absolutely beautiful reli-
gious clichés and moral platitudes.”
What were some of the approaches that irritated? Eliphaz coldly reasoned: ‘Look, you strength-
ened others. Now when you have troubles you get disturbed. Should you not have confidence in your
own integrity?’ Bildad added: ‘If you would only look to God more, he would restore you.’ How insensi-
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tive! Especially since Job was already trusting in God. How would you have felt? Rather than comfort,
those seemingly well-intentioned words were “crushing” to Job. No wonder he cried out, ‘If only you
were in my place!’—Job 4:3-6; 8:5, 6; 16:2, 4, 5; 19:2.
Of course, no Christian congregation elder would want to reflect the attitude or demon-inspired phi-
losophy of those “friends.” (Job 4:15, 16) Yet, at times, comforting shepherds have to remind them-
selves not to make similar mistakes. In trying to help a “depressed soul,” elders will likely inquire why
the person feels so bad. Perhaps the depressed one thinks that he has lost God’s spirit. Elders know
from Scriptural examples, such as that of David, that sinful conduct can cause depression. (Ps. 38:1-
6) They may read with the person portions of the Bible that deal with a Christian’s conduct and then
perhaps ask, ‘In view of what the Bible says, do you have any real reason to feel that God has taken
his spirit away from you?’ Rather than telling the person that he has done nothing wrong or perhaps
implying that he has, it may be beneficial to let the person reach his own conclusion. He may realize
that there is nothing to his feelings of guilt. Or, if he has become involved in wrongdoing, the elders
can help him make “straight paths for [his] feet” and once again enjoy Jehovah’s smile of approval.—
Hebrews 12:12, 13.
Depressed persons often feel overwhelmed with guilt for no legitimate reason. Insight will help eld-
ers to recognize such situations. One depressed Christian who deeply appreciated the visits of her
loving shepherds to help her was convinced that she had lost God’s spirit. “Really, try to think hard
and see if there is something bad you’ve done,” said an elder at one point. The woman just sat there
and cried. “But I can’t think of anything. Do you want me to make something up? Will that help?” she
sobbed. The elders got the point and tried other ways to help.
Job’s counselors had already made up their minds that Job had done something wrong. Elders
who know “how to encourage the weary” will handle each situation “without prejudgment, doing noth-
ing according to a biased leaning.” (1 Timothy 5:21) When using probing questions they do not ac-
cuse, but do so in an empathetic way, really putting themselves in the other’s place.
Counselors with Insight
Elihu, though direct at times in his counsel, showed insight. He was a good listener. He did not ‘an-
swer before he listened,’ which the Bible bluntly calls “stupid and insulting.” (Proverbs 18:13, Beck)
He commended Job because of his faithfulness and encouraged him to express himself. Such insight
added “persuasiveness” to Elihu’s words.—Job 32:4, 11; 33:5-7, 32; Proverbs 16:23.
Jehovah is the supreme example of a counselor with insight. How he dealt with the prophet Jonah
shows discerning empathy and compassion. Jonah became angry when Jehovah decided not to de-
stroy the Ninevites and thereby fulfill the prophet’s message of doom. Jonah became so depressed
he wanted to die. Now how did Jehovah deal with him? Did he say: ‘Why, Jonah, you are just being
self-centered. Do you not have any love in your heart? All you are thinking about is how you look in
the eyes of others!’ Such a statement might have been truthful. But probably it would only have made
him feel more guilty and depressed. What did Jehovah do?
“Have you rightly become hot with anger?” asked Jehovah. Yes, a simple question designed to get
him thinking. No accusation. No condemnation. Even though Jonah did not respond immediately, Je-
hovah did not give up on him, but provided a large plant to shelter him from the blazing sun. Then Je-
hovah used an illustration that apparently touched Jonah’s heart. He caused the large plant to die.
When Jonah was angered over the death of the plant, Jehovah helped him to see how much more
precious were the lives of the Ninevites than the life of that plant. Should he not feel even more pity
for them than for the death of a mere plant? Simple, yet effective!—Jonah 4:1-11.
When elders endeavor to encourage depressed souls they need to imitate Jehovah and Elihu. Be
generous in genuine commendation. Use simple, direct statements and questions. Use easy-to-
understand language. Be specific, yet avoid intimidating questions. Illustrations that may get the per-
son to think or become emotionally involved in a somewhat different matter (for example, Jonah’s be-
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coming angry over the death of the plant) may be used to help an individual to see the error of his
own thinking. But remember: “As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time
for it.” (Proverbs 25:11) If the person has faulty thinking, help him to overcome it gradually. Work to
build up his low self-esteem. “A heart bowed down with anxiety, how a kind word can refresh it!”—
Proverbs 12:25, Knox.
But what kind of suggestions can an elder try to get across to a depressed one?
Help from Meaningful Prayers
“Even though I felt that Jehovah did understand completely, there were times when the depression
or panic was so severe I thought it was hopeless to pray,” reports one depressed soul. However, eld-
ers, while acknowledging that such feelings are common to many depressed persons, can encourage
these to persist in prayer. But pray about what?
“I prayed that Jehovah would either help me to endure or direct me to where I could find help,” re-
ported one depressed young woman. A 33-year-old mother with an unbelieving abusive husband be-
came depressed. She stated: “When I became overly anxious, tense or had fears, I would go to Jeho-
vah right then and there, on hands and knees sometimes, weeping, begging him to help me over-
come this. It was very important to be specific in the prayer. Many times I would get instant relief.”
One 41-year-old wife said: “When I was depressed I found it hard to form a prayer. But Romans 8:26
was a real source of comfort. So I could just ask Jehovah, ‘Please help!’”
Elders can pray with and for the person. Of course, they should avoid statements that would make
the person feel all the more guilty. Asking Jehovah, with the depressed one listening, to help that one
to understand how much he or she is loved by others and even by Jehovah would surely be upbuild-
ing. Also, the sufferer may be shown the relief that earnest prayer, coupled with reliance on Jehovah,
can bring.—1 Samuel 1:9-18.
Help Weary Gain Insight
“Sometimes people feel they have lost their faith and often feel very guilty about it,” explains
Dr. Nathan Kline, director of Rockland Research Institute Department of Mental Hygiene of New York
State. “Though there are cases of spiritual failure, I think that in many cases it is probably not a failure
of religious faith, but an early sign of depression.” He made this statement after noticing these symp-
toms in a number of his patients who were deeply religious. So, often helping a person with a serious
depression to realize this can relieve much needless guilt.
One Witness who has aided a number of “depressed souls” back to health states: “The needless
guilt that some put themselves under is unbelievable. I feel guilty about wrongs I’ve done, but I also
believe that if Jehovah provided the ransom to undo these things then I cannot beat myself forever
about it. This is one of the points I try very hard to get through to those I’m helping.” The person
needs to realize that if he is truly repentant over some bad act, has the desire never to repeat it and is
really trying to ‘right the wrong,’ then he can be confident that the ransom will cleanse his conscience.
Helping persons who have ‘godly sorrow’ to see the mercy and forgiveness of Jehovah does often re-
lieve their depression.—Psalm 32:1-5, 11; 103:8-14; 2 Corinthians 7:9-11.
Even if wrong thoughts plague the mind of a depressed soul, there is no need to feel worthless and
“condemned by God.” It is the cultivating and the ‘carrying out’ of such thoughts that the Bible warns
against. (James 1:14, 15; Galatians 5:16) So as long as one is putting forth effort to dismiss such
thoughts he should not feel overwhelmed with guilt.
For instance, anger or resentment may flood into a depressed person’s mind. Not much is accom-
plished by an elder’s telling the person, ‘You must not feel that way,’ or ‘You should not feel like that.’
The point is, the person does feel it! While realistically acknowledging that a person will feel angry at
times, the Bible warns against carrying out such a rage. (Psalm 4:4; 37:8) It encourages us not to
keep in a provoked state. (Ephesians 4:26, 27) So the discerning elder may, with a few simple ques-
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tions, find out why the sufferer feels angry. After the person is helped to analyze the situation (as Jon-
ah was), he may see that there is no sound basis for his anger. Also, if someone has offended him,
he may be helped to follow certain Scriptural steps and thereby overcome the resentment.—Colos-
sians 3:13; Matthew 5:23, 24; Luke 17:3, 4.
If an elder can be alert to negative attitudes in weary ones, when the depression is at its earlier
stages, then oftentimes a person can be readjusted and be saved from plunging into major depres-
sion—a disorder that may require medical help. Here, too, the elder may aid the depressed person or
his family to realize when the disorder has reached that point where medical attention is needed. This
does not mean that elders would ‘play doctor,’ nor dictate what form of treatment to follow. They may
wish to refer those involved to the article “Attacking Major Depression—Professional Treatments” in
the October 22, 1981, Awake!, which outlines several therapies and yet does not promote any.
Help Regain Balance
“Hanging on for dear life every minute of every day,” is how one 40-year-old Christian mother de-
scribed her bout with major depression. After her recovery she analyzed one of the causes: “Trying
not to let anyone down or let any area of my family life or service slacken even a tiny bit, I held to a
schedule that left me exhausted. I did this for eight years; and, finally, the doctor said I had ‘burned
out.’ Looking back, I feel that even though my reasons for keeping such a schedule were not frivo-
lous, I should have been more reasonable.”
Because of the danger of a person’s becoming unreasonable, elders must at times help a de-
pressed person to regain balance in his activities. Certainly they would encourage whole-souled serv-
ice to God. In fact, at times when some who were suffering severe major depression were not able to
engage in door-to-door preaching, arrangements were made whereby the ailing one, his condition
permitting, sat in on a Bible discussion conducted by another Witness. The depressed one contrib-
uted as he was able.
Remember the apostle Paul commanded Christians to “present [their] bodies a sacrifice living,
holy, acceptable to God, a sacred service with your power of reason.” (Romans 12:1) Yes, a person’s
reasoning faculties were to be involved. The Greek word translated “power of reason” (logikos) liter-
ally means being “logical.” So God expects us to do what is reasonable, logical. Each person’s abil-
ities, physical stamina and circumstances are different. Whole-souled service means to do all that
your soul and strength are capable of doing, not someone else’s.—Mark 12:30; Colossians 3:23.
When a person is sick his strength is less, even though his heart and mind may wish to do as much
in God’s service as before. True, all those who will gain everlasting life must ‘exert themselves vigo-
rously,’ but such exertion is not always strictly measured in the amount of work one does. The amount
of vigorous activity possible for Epaphroditus in the “Lord’s work” when he was sick would not have
compared with what he did when he was well. Yet, as a whole, he was commended by Paul for his ex-
ertion.—Luke 13:24; Philippians 2:25-30.
Changed circumstances, such as illness, may hinder us from fully accomplishing what our heart
desires. For instance, the wife of a traveling overseer fell into a major depression. She reported: “All
my life I’ve been extremely active and I thoroughly enjoyed my service to God. But then for about nine
months, without relief, I had the horrible feeling of being in the ‘pits’ of the earth.” She and her hus-
band had to take a leave from the work of visiting congregations and she was treated by a doctor for
her illness. After more than a year she regained her health to the point that they could once again
take up this vigorous assignment of service. Presently just as whole-souled as before, she writes: “I’m
happy again in my service. But now when I feel overly tired and exhausted, I stay home and rest and
try to heed the body’s signals. Now I recognize the symptoms and I’m so thankful to Jehovah that I’m
on the road to recovery.”
Yes, how thankful we all can be that we have as our God one who accepts our gifts and sacrifices,
‘according to what we have, not according to what we do not have.’ This is true whether such sacrifi-
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ces are spiritual, material or of our physical strength.—2 Corinthians 8:12.
Yet at times a depressed person may have to be helped to be more discerning in how he uses his
strength. One sister who suffered major depression commented: “I was unbalanced. I didn’t know how
to say, ‘No.’ Anytime someone would ask me to do something it was always, ‘Yes, fine.’ I had to learn
to say, ‘No, I’m sorry. I really cannot. Maybe I can help you another time.’ I had to learn this or else I
would have been in a frenzy.” A person who constantly tries to go beyond his strength could end up
with severe depression. The wise man advised: “Do not become righteous overmuch, nor show your-
self excessively wise. Why should you cause desolation to yourself? Do not be wicked overmuch, nor
become foolish. Why should you die when it is not your time?”—Ecclesiastes 7:16, 17.
To speak consolingly to depressed souls takes genuine effort. One must learn by heeding the
counsel of God’s Word. Insight must also be learned. But the results are worth it.
Imagine the joy of seeing someone that is heartbroken—tearfully expressing his or her feelings—
begin to change. Gradually a sparkle replaces the tears. A smile now warms the face. How grateful
such a person is to a loving, understanding shepherd! And, above all, how pleased is our compas-
sionate heavenly Father, who “comforts the depressed.”—2 Corinthians 7:6, New American Standard
Bible.
[Picture on page 10]
We should avoid being like Job’s companions—troublesome comforters
[Picture on page 11]
Do you add to the problems of depressed ones, or do you really comfort them?
[Picture on page 13]
Elders can pray with and for the person, avoiding statements that would make that one feel all the
more guilty
*** g87 11/8 pp. 12-16 Defeating Depression—How Others Can Help *** back
Defeating Depression—How Others Can Help
IT WAS the third time within just a few days that Ann had phoned long distance for no apparent
reason. Her mother, Kay, noticed that her voice seemed lifeless. “It was like a voice of depression,”
explained Kay. “Though she didn’t complain, the tone of her voice was saying out loud, ‘I need help!’”
Kay’s heart raced as she sensed trouble.
“I told my daughter that I would be there the next day!” recalls Kay. “Ann started crying, muttered
‘OK,’ and then hung up.” Upon arriving, the mother was shocked to learn that Ann had revealed to her
friends that she felt totally hopeless and worthless. She had even seriously talked about suicide!
Nevertheless, the support Kay gave during her five-day visit helped her daughter recover. It was the
turning point. “This taught me a lesson about listening,” reflected the mother. “She could have killed
herself, and how awful we would have felt if we had not helped in her time of need.”
Help from others can often mean the difference between life and death to a severely depressed
person. Would you have been as alert as Kay? Since each year a hundred million persons worldwide
develop a severe depression, the chances are that someone who is your friend or relative may be af-
fected. But helping someone who is severely depressed can be exasperating.
Dr. Leonard Cammer in his book Up From Depression tells of one mother who was at her wit’s end
with a depressed son. As she and her son conferred with the doctor, she bemoaned: “He just moves
away from us and acts as if we’re not there. He knows we love him. Why does he have to hurt us this
way? You don’t know what I’ve been going through, Doctor.” Dr. Cammer remarks: “If only she knew
the suffering he has been going through! . . . The depressed person senses that he is a burden to the
family. But he is a burden to himself too, because he is helpless to rectify his condition and is
ashamed and humiliated by it. His only recourse then is to drift farther away.” The mother’s lack of
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sensitivity made the situation worse. To help, therefore, the first essential is . . .
Empathy
Empathy, or “fellow feeling,” is an effort to identify emotionally with another. (1 Peter 3:8) Realize
that the depressed person really hurts. His distress is real and not feigned. “Weep with people who
weep,” advised the apostle Paul. (Romans 12:15) In other words, try to understand the pain the de-
pressed one feels.
Though you cannot know exactly what he feels, you can show a genuine interest in wanting to
know. Encourage that one to talk, and when he vents his feelings, try to see things through his eyes,
putting yourself in his place. Avoid judgmental statements such as, ‘You shouldn’t feel like that’ or,
‘That’s the wrong attitude.’ The depressed person’s emotions are especially fragile, and such critical
comments only make him feel worse about himself. Usually his self-esteem has evaporated.
Rebuilding Self-Esteem
To restore his self-esteem, you must appeal to the person’s reason. Ever so gently, help him see
that his low assessment of himself is incorrect. But simply giving him a stirring speech, telling him that
he is ‘a great person,’ is not the answer. “He that is removing a garment on a cold day is as vinegar
upon alkali and as a singer with songs upon a gloomy heart,” observes Proverbs 25:20. Such shallow
efforts leave a depressed one emotionally cold and irritated, since they rarely address the reasons
why that one feels worthless.
For instance, a depressed person may say: ‘I feel that I’m just no good and that I’ll never be worth
anything.’ You could in a nonchallenging manner ask: ‘Can you tell me why you feel that way?’ As he
begins to explain, listen carefully. Such close attention assures him that what he is saying is worth
while. As he opens up, you will be able to ask further questions to help him identify and correct the
reasonings that can cause depression.
Use simple, direct questions, not in a scolding way, but in an effort to get the person to reason.
(See box, page 13.) If you see that the person is doing things that are contributing to his problem,
then in a nonaccusing way, you could kindly ask: ‘Is what you’re doing up to this point helping you?
Do you need to do something different?’ Getting him to offer suggestions may restore some of his
self-confidence.
A depressed person tends to ignore all his good qualities; so focus his attention on his personal as-
sets and capabilities. She may have a knack with plants or be a good cook. He may have reared hap-
py, stable children. Look for areas where the depressed one has succeeded and draw these to his at-
tention. You may even have him write down some of these to review later. It helps also when that one
can use his talent to help you.
For instance, Maria, who was an excellent seamstress, became severely depressed. One of her
friends asked: “Would you like to help me pick out some fabric and a pattern? I want to make a suit.”
Maria offered to make it for her. “Oh, would you?” responded her friend. Later, she warmly thanked
Maria for the suit and by mail told her of all the fine compliments she had received on it. “This in-
creased my confidence and brightened my days,” said Maria. “I later found out that she had gone
through a depression and knew this task would be a big help. It was. She did more for me than I did
for her.”
So help depressed ones to develop a few specific short-term goals that are within their ability and
circumstances. These may be simple household duties, a handicraft project, or even wholesome
words. As one severely depressed woman said: “I would try each day to say something upbuilding to
either my family or a friend.” Reaching these small goals builds self-esteem.
When It’s Your Spouse
The first assumption of many whose mates become severely depressed is that they are somehow
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responsible for the other’s low mood. This produces guilt that, in turn, creates friction. Yet, depression
is not necessarily a sign that one has had a bad marriage.
After studying the lives of 40 depressed women, Myrna Weissman and Eugene Paykel in their
book The Depressed Woman concluded: “Not all the depressed women had poor marriages prior to
their illnesses. We found a number of marriages where free and easy communications, mutual sensi-
tivity to each other’s needs, . . . had existed prior to the depression. The illness put considerable
strain on the relationship.”—Italics ours.
Sometimes, however, though not always causing the depression, a strained or detached relation-
ship with a mate can create an environment that makes depression much more likely. Some factors
that induce depression are listed in the box on page 15. One husband whose depressed wife became
suicidal admitted: “I was not serious about watching over her emotional and spiritual needs. To me
she was a roommate rather than a wife. I was too busy helping others to give the reassurance and
warmth she wanted and needed. I had to work at communication as well as sharing myself and my
life with her.” Are there areas that you might see in your family that need improvement? But what else
will help a spouse?
□ Patience, Patience, Patience! Because a depressed person is in emotional pain, he or she may
lash out at a mate. Victoria, who suffered major depression, confessed: “I hated myself and felt miser-
able. I’m sure that my husband and kids would have liked to lock me in the closet and throw away the
key. Yet, I heard hundreds of times, ‘We love you; we know you don’t mean it’ or, ‘You’re just tired.’”
Yes, realize that the person will say many things that he doesn’t mean. Even Job, a man of faith, ad-
mitted that because of his vexation “my own words have been wild talk.” (Job 6:3) Having the insight
to know that you are not the target will enable you to respond with mild, kindly replies that will usually
defuse the situation. (Proverbs 15:1; 19:11) Don’t expect a spouse to get well overnight.
□ Give Spiritual and Emotional Support. Many depressed persons have found that the meetings of
Jehovah’s Witnesses provided the spiritual encouragement to endure. (Hebrews 10:25) But Irene,
whose depression lasted 18 months, admitted: “One evening before the meeting, I cried because I
could hardly bear to think of facing everyone.” She added: “But my husband encouraged me, and
after saying a prayer, our family did go. Though I had to fight back tears during the meeting, I was so
thankful to Jehovah God for giving me the strength to be there.”
In addition to the spiritual help, a depressed mate needs the reassurance that he or she has your
emotional support. Irene describes how her husband did this: “At home after the children were asleep,
my husband and I would talk, and sometimes I would cry for close to an hour. His supportive under-
standing was so helpful. He prayed with me, listened to me, or gave me a shoulder to cry on—what-
ever I needed at the time.” Since a Christian is concerned about pleasing his or her spouse, fre-
quently reassure the depressed one that he or she is doing this.—1 Corinthians 7:33, 34.
□ Provide Physical Help. Household chores and care of the children may suddenly seem over-
whelming to a depressed wife. The husband (as well as the children) can help with cleaning and cook-
ing. Try to avoid asking her what to do, as this can add pressure. “My husband, Bob, didn’t let anyone
pile anything on me at that time. He was sort of a buffer,” explained Elizabeth, a mother who became
severely depressed. “All I really had to concentrate on was just getting better.” She added: “The doc-
tor not only prescribed medication but also told me to exercise every day. Bob encouraged me to fol-
low the doctor’s orders. We walked every day.” A well-planned outing with the depressed one also
helps. All of this takes much initiative on the part of the husband.
Help From Others
“A true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is born for when there is distress,”
states Proverbs 17:17. The genuineness of a friendship is evident during a time of distress, such as
depression. How can a friend help?
“When I was depressed, a friend wrote to me several times and always included encouraging
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Scriptures,” reported Maria. “I would read the letter over and over, crying as I read it. Such letters
were like gold to me.” Encouraging letters, cards, and phone calls are deeply appreciated. Warm vis-
its also help. “If no one comes, it reinforces the idea that we’re all alone,” adds Elizabeth. “Pray with
the person, tell some upbuilding experiences, even cook a meal and bring it over as a family. One
friend made me a box of little odds and ends. Unwrapping each item provided such a pleasant sur-
prise.”
Of course, when it comes to things like running errands and doing housework for a depressed per-
son, be discerning. Listen to him. Don’t insist on doing something if he does not want it done. At
times, knowing that someone is doing work that he should be doing may add guilt. The depressed
one may prefer that it be left undone.
The elders, or spiritual shepherds, in the congregations of Jehovah’s Witnesses have also provided
invaluable help. Irene explains: “I talked with a couple of the elders about my problem. (My husband
came along for support.) This was a big step and helped me a great deal. I found that these men
really do care.” By carefully listening and by being well prepared, these men will be able to “speak
consolingly to the depressed souls.”—1 Thessalonians 5:14; Proverbs 12:18.
Knowing when to seek professional help is vital—in fact, it may save a life! At times the condition
becomes so severe that arrangements should be made to see that the depressed one gets needed
professional care. Don’t count on the depressed one to decide. Often it means making the necessary
appointment for him. You can reassure him by saying: ‘I’m sure your illness is not serious, but it
should be checked to relieve everyone’s doubts. Though I love you very much, I’m not a doctor.’ Be
kind but firm!
Helping a friend or mate defeat depression is not an easy task, but perseverance may be lifesav-
ing. Often, your caring makes the difference. For instance, Margaret, when she reached her deepest
low, told her husband that she wanted to give up and die. He warmly said: “I’ll help you not to give
up.” Overwhelmed to see his care, Margaret explained: “I knew then I could go on.” She did and even-
tually defeated her depression.
[Footnotes]
See “Winning the Fight Against Depression” in our October 22 issue of this year.
See “An Educated Tongue—‘To Encourage the Weary’” in the June 1, 1982, issue of our companion
magazine, The Watchtower.
[Box on page 13]
Reasoning in a Way That Builds Self-Esteem
One woman, whose marriage was shattered by her husband’s infidelity, became depressed and sui-
cidal. She later confided to a skilled counselor: “Without Raymond, I am nothing . . . I can’t be happy
without Raymond.”
The counselor asked: “Have you found yourself happy when you are with Raymond?” Her reply:
“No, we fight all the time and I feel worse.” He continued: “You say you are nothing without Raymond.
Before you met Raymond, did you feel you were nothing?”
“No, I felt I was somebody,” blurted the depressed woman. The counselor then replied: “If you were
somebody before you knew Raymond, why do you need him to be somebody now?” Discussing this
case in his book Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders, Dr. Aaron Beck stated: “In a subse-
quent interview, she stated that the point that really struck home was: How could she be ‘nothing’
without Raymond—when she had lived happily and was an adequate person before she ever knew
him?” She overcame her depression.
[Box on page 15]
Could Your Home Environment Cause Depression?
□ Is self-esteem undermined by thoughtless comments such as ‘Why aren’t you a better wife?’ ‘I love
you in spite of the kind of person you are,’ or ‘Why are you always so thoughtless?’
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□ Is guilt repeatedly provoked by making the spouse always feel responsible, regardless of the facts?
□ Does the atmosphere in the home discourage the open show of emotions, making whoever displays
such seem to be a weakling?
□ Is one made to feel that he or she must be nearly perfect to measure up to the expectations of a
spouse?
□ Is open and direct communication blocked?
[Pictures on page 16] back
One depressed person said that ‘letters from a friend were like gold’
*** w88 11/15 pp. 21-24 “Spiritual Words” for the Mentally Distressed ***
“Spiritual Words” for the Mentally Distressed
MENTAL problems afflict even some faithful servants of God. And while at times it may be neces-
sary and appropriate for distressed ones to seek professional help, they can also benefit from the as-
sistance and encouragement of the Christian congregation. For example, when the faithful Christian
Epaphroditus became severely depressed, fellow believers in Philippi were exhorted not to ignore his
distress but to “give him the customary welcome in the Lord with all joy; and keep holding men of that
sort dear.”—Philippians 2:25-29.
Jehovah’s Witnesses today are likewise under obligation to “keep comforting one another” and to
“support the weak.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14) Christian elders should take the lead in this regard.—
Isaiah 32:2.
Of course, elders usually are not qualified to act as physicians or to employ the concepts and termi-
nology of psychiatry. To do so would be immodest and perhaps dangerous. (Proverbs 11:2) Like the
apostle Paul, they must “speak, not with words taught by human wisdom, but with those taught by the
spirit, as [they] combine spiritual matters with spiritual words.” (1 Corinthians 2:13) These “spiritual
words” include the concepts and principles found in the Bible. Applied correctly, these can do much to
comfort and upbuild distressed persons.—2 Timothy 3:16.
“Swift About Hearing”
First, though, elders must be “swift about hearing, slow about speaking.” (James 1:19) ‘Replying to
a matter before hearing it’ can easily result in the giving of inappropriate advice. (Proverbs 18:13) Fail-
ing to grasp the nature of a certain brother’s depressive disorder, one group of elders passed him off
as spiritually weak. “Pray more,” they told him—instruction he found hard to apply because of his de-
pressed state of mind.
Before offering counsel, then, elders should hear everything the sufferer has to say. Perhaps, what
he needs is a good listener. Through patience and discernment, ‘draw up’ what is in his heart. (Prov-
erbs 20:5) If the distressed person has difficulty putting his feelings into words, recall how Elkanah
asked kind but pointed questions regarding his wife’s gloomy state. “Hannah,” he asked, “why do you
weep, and why do you not eat, and why does your heart feel bad?” (1 Samuel 1:8) Tactful questions,
gently asked, can often help a depressed brother pinpoint the source of his “anxious care.” (Proverbs
12:25) For example, in one case marital problems proved to be the cause of a brother’s depression.
Giving Help “Without Reproaching”
Distressed persons do not always have rational explanations for the way they feel. Writes one vic-
tim of mental illness: “When I became ill, I didn’t understand it and sometimes blamed Jehovah.” Af-
flicted ones may thus make groundless complaints that they have been mistreated or rejected by the
congregation. How should elders respond?
Jehovah sets the example by ‘giving generously to all without reproaching.’ (James 1:5) Sufferers
should not be made to feel that they are stupid or foolish for feeling the way they do. Their feelings—
illogical though they may be—are quite real to them. They need “fellow feeling,” not criticism. (1 Peter
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3:8) Elders should also be careful not to add to a sufferer’s emotional burden by accusing him of
wrongdoing. The righteous man Job was so distressed that he lamented: “My soul certainly feels a
loathing toward my life.” (Job 10:1) But his three companions did not comfort him. One of them even
said: “Is not your own badness too much already, and will there be no end to your errors?”—Job 22:5.
Sometimes, however, misconduct is the cause of emotional upheaval or is a contributor to its se-
verity. “When I kept silent [about wrongdoing] my bones wore out through my groaning all day long,”
said the psalmist David. (Psalm 32:3) Similarly, one brother suffered such severe anxiety that he
could no longer work. The cause of his distress? An act of adultery that he had concealed. So if there
is reason to suspect that wrongdoing is involved, elders can explore this as a possibility. But they
should do so in a kind way, not reproachfully accusing the person of wrong.
Healing With a Wise Tongue
After the elders have done what they can to determine the nature of a person’s problem, they
should act in harmony with Proverbs 12:18, which says: “The tongue of the wise ones is a healing.”
No, elders cannot heal the illness itself. But by using carefully chosen words, they may be able to re-
lieve mentally distressed persons of unnecessary anxiety and stress. The elders might begin by se-
lecting Watchtower and Awake! articles dealing with mental and emotional problems. These can be
discussed with distressed ones so as to help them understand their condition better. Often they are
relieved to know that their problem is the result of physical imperfection, not a loss of Jehovah’s favor.
Admittedly, disturbed individuals can be difficult to deal with, some becoming quite agitated. Yet, a
wise elder remembers that “an answer, when mild, turns away rage.” (Proverbs 15:1) Making sure
that his utterances are always gracious prevents him from needlessly aggravating the situation. (Co-
lossians 4:6) For example, a brother suffering from schizophrenia may insist that he hears voices. Ob-
serves, Dr. E. Fuller Torrey: ‘It is counterproductive to try to argue schizophrenics out of their delusion-
al beliefs. Attempts to do so often result in misunderstanding and anger. Rather than argue, simply
make a statement of disagreement.’ In other words, the elders can patiently explain that though those
voices seem real, likely his mind is simply playing tricks on him.
Effective use of the Bible can also yield fine results. (Hebrews 4:12) For example, if a sick person
expresses irrational fears that God has abandoned him, kindly show sympathy for his fears. At the
same time, however, patiently remind him of the power of the ransom, using such texts as Psalm
103:8-14 and 1 John 2:1, 2. First Peter 5:6, 7 and Romans 8:26, 27 may help him appreciate that God
‘cares for him’ and hears his prayers, even if he has difficulty putting his feelings into words. Following
the principle at James 5:14, the elders can then pray with the distressed person.
What if a sufferer tends to become excited over trivial matters? He can be reminded of the Bible’s
counsel not to be “righteous overmuch.” (Ecclesiastes 7:16) Another may benefit from the encourage-
ment at Philippians 4:8, which can help him to fight immoral thoughts. Yet another may fail to accept
his limitations and may be discouraged because his illness limits his Christian activity. Such texts as
Matthew 13:23 and Luke 21:1-4 can be used to help him appreciate that although our circumstances
may limit what we can do, Jehovah deeply appreciates our efforts.
Yes, equipped with a Bible-trained tongue, elders can do much to help and comfort distressed fel-
low believers. Says one sister who suffered from mental problems: “I really appreciate what Isaiah
32:2 says about the elders in the congregation. They were always there with practical advice when I
needed them.”
Meetings and Field Service
A mentally distressed person still has spiritual needs. (Matthew 5:3) Indeed, staying spiritually
strong has meant the difference between life and death for some. Irene, who suffered because of
schizophrenia for 30 years, recalls: “At times, I was very confused. But the truth was always in my
mind—solid like concrete. It kept me from taking my life!”
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To the extent practical, therefore, the ailing person should be encouraged to share in the preaching
work and attend meetings, not “isolating himself.” (Proverbs 18:1) Because of mental illness, this is
how one sister felt: ‘I was convinced that I had sinned unforgivably against our God, Jehovah. As a re-
sult, I took everything I heard at meetings out of context. Whatever condemned, I applied to myself.’
But she persisted in attending meetings and eventually heard a talk that helped her to get over her de-
lusion of being rejected by God.
What, though, if a severely ill person becomes agitated and disrupts congregation meetings or field
service? Likely, the sufferer is not being malicious but is merely upset because of confused thinking.
Still, this can be trialsome for all concerned. If the disturbance is minor or infrequent, likely the congre-
gation will display long-suffering. (Colossians 3:12, 13) Otherwise, it may be necessary to suggest
that the sufferer sit where a possible disruption will cause less distraction. Loving arrangements can
also be made to keep such a person active in the preaching work, perhaps seeing to it that he is al-
ways accompanied by a mature, discerning publisher, or that he sits in on home Bible studies where
his condition is understood and tolerated.
Sometimes, though, a person’s conduct becomes shocking, reproachful, or dangerously uncon-
trolled. Perhaps the individual has stopped taking his prescribed medication and needs strong encour-
agement to return to his medical routine. But if there is no response or the person’s disruptive actions
continue, it may be necessary to restrict him from meetings and field service so as to maintain order.
(1 Corinthians 14:40) In a kind way, elders should tell the ailing person that he is not being judged un-
faithful but that his illness simply limits what he can do. ‘God is not unrighteous so as to forget his
work,’ and He understands his limitations. (Hebrews 6:10) Regular shepherding calls will help the indi-
vidual to maintain his spirituality until his condition improves.
Helping Their Families
Mental illness wreaks great havoc upon families. “It’s been devastating,” says a brother whose
grown son is severely ill mentally. “Day after day you see no relief,” adds his wife. “It has affected our
marriage, as we sometimes find ourselves bickering with each other.” Imagine, too, the pain of seeing
a marriage mate succumb to mental illness. Says one brother: “My wife is labeled ‘paranoid schizo-
phrenic.’ She hears voices and refuses treatment because she believes it will ‘poison’ her. She does
not believe I am her husband and refuses to go in service or to meetings.” How can we help the fami-
lies of such afflicted ones?
Paul said: “Speak consolingly to the depressed souls.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14) It would be cruel to
shun or ignore fellow Christians who are laboring to care for a mentally ill family member. “Welcome
one another,” said Paul. (Romans 15:7) Christian meetings afford us an opportunity to do so warmly
and to express love and appreciation for those who are ‘practicing godly devotion in their house-
holds.’—1 Timothy 5:4.
On shepherding calls, the elders can further encourage such persons to keep up family study, to at-
tend meetings, and to stay active as Kingdom preachers. When it comes to their material and practi-
cal needs, however, the congregation should do more than say, “Keep warm and well fed.” (James
2:16) Perhaps the family needs assistance in getting to the meetings. Some individuals may be in a
position to assist them with their mounting medical bills. (1 John 3:17, 18) How such loving concern is
appreciated! Says the husband of a mentally ill sister: “The congregation knows about our problem,
and they very lovingly show that they care.”
Keeping Integrity
“All creation keeps on groaning together and being in pain together until now,” said Paul. (Romans
8:22) And mental distress is just one of the painful legacies of imperfection. Doctors may offer a
measure of relief. But many who have sought their help have had an experience like that of the wom-
an in Jesus’ day who was “put to many pains by many physicians and had spent all her resources
and had not been benefited but, rather, had got worse.”—Mark 5:26.
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Many, then, must learn to live with their problems, looking for real relief in God’s new world. (Reve-
lation 21:3, 4) “Bless Jehovah, . . . who is healing all your maladies,” cried the psalmist. (Psalm
103:2, 3) In the meantime, the main focus of our concern must be, not to have perfect mental or phys-
ical health, but to prove our integrity. (Psalm 26:11; compare 1 Corinthians 7:29-31.) Suffering from a
mental disorder may make this difficult. But many servants of God, like Paul, have faithfully served
with “a thorn in the flesh.” (2 Corinthians 12:7) “I have learned that no doctor, not even the brothers,
can cure me,” says one victim of mental illness. “But I have learned to rely on Jehovah.” Mentally dis-
tressed persons can also rely on loving brothers and sisters who patiently speak “spiritual words” for
their comfort and support.
[Footnotes]
The article “Mental Distress—When It Afflicts a Christian” in The Watchtower of October 15, 1988,
gave guidelines for handling situations where demonic influence is suspected.
[Picture on page 21] back
“Spiritual words” from loving elders can do much to help distressed persons
*** w90 3/15 pp. 26-30 How to Help Depressed Ones Regain Joy ***
How to Help Depressed Ones Regain Joy
EPAPHRODITUS, a first-century Christian disciple, was depressed. He had been sent to attend to
the needs of the imprisoned apostle Paul but had fallen seriously ill. Though Epaphroditus had recov-
ered, he was depressed because his home congregation, which had sent him to Rome, had “heard
he had fallen sick.” (Philippians 2:25, 26) Being so far away but wanting to ease their mind about this
brought on depression. Likely, he also felt that they considered him a failure. How could he be helped
to regain his joy?
Epaphroditus was sent back to his home in Philippi carrying a letter from the apostle Paul. Therein,
Paul instructed the congregation: “Give him the customary welcome in the Lord with all joy; and keep
holding men of that sort dear.” (Philippians 2:27-30) Philippian Christians were urged to draw Epaph-
roditus close to them in a way that would befit the distinctive quality of fellowship typical of the Christi-
an congregation. Their consoling words would show him that he was highly valued, yes, ‘held dear.’
This joyful attention would go a long way in helping him to find relief from his mental depression.
This example shows that although Christians as a whole “rejoice in the Lord,” some among them
suffer various forms of depression. (Philippians 4:4) Severe mental depression is a serious emotional
disorder that has even led to suicide. At times, brain chemistry and other physical factors are in-
volved. Nevertheless, depression can often be reduced through discerning help provided by others.
Thus, Paul gave the exhortation: “Speak consolingly to the depressed souls.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14)
Congregations of Jehovah’s Witnesses should, therefore, joyfully provide emotional support to de-
pressed souls. This responsibility was recognized by the modern Christian organization way back in
1903, for The Watch Tower then said of depressed souls, or fainthearted ones: “Faint-hearted and
weak, would need aid, support, encouragement.” But how can you help depressed souls?
First, by showing “fellow feeling,” you may be able to help the depressed one to reveal the “anxious
care” in his heart. Thereafter, “the good word” from you may help him to rejoice. (1 Peter 3:8; Prov-
erbs 12:25) Just letting him speak freely and sense your concern may bring much relief. “I had a cou-
ple of friends I could really pour my heart out to,” explained Mary, a single Christian who struggled
with depression. “I needed someone to listen.” Having someone with whom to share innermost
thoughts about the tribulations of life can mean very much.
More is needed, however, than just listening and giving such superficial advice as, “Look on the
bright side of life” or, “Think in a positive way.” Such statements could betray a lack of empathy and
be entirely out of place when another person is depressed, even as Proverbs 25:20 indicates in say-
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ing: “He that is removing a garment on a cold day is as . . . a singer with songs upon a gloomy heart.”
Unrealistically optimistic remarks may also leave the depressed individual feeling even more per-
turbed. Why? Because such efforts do not address the reasons for his depression.
Strengthen With Words
A severely depressed person feels not simply sad but probably worthless and without hope. The
Greek word translated “depressed souls” literally means “ones of little soul.” One Greek scholar de-
fines the word in this way: “One who is labouring under such trouble, that his heart sinks within him.”
Thus, his emotional resources have dried up, and his self-esteem has sagged.—Compare Proverbs
17:22.
The patriarch Job said: “I would strengthen you with the words of my mouth.” (Job 16:5) The He-
brew word for “strengthen” is sometimes rendered “fortify” or “reinforce.” It is used to describe how the
temple was ‘made strong’ by means of structural repairs. (Isaiah 41:10; Nahum 2:1; 2 Chronicles
24:13) Your words must skillfully rebuild the depressed person’s self-esteem, brick by brick, as it
were. Doing this requires that you appeal to his “power of reason.” (Romans 12:1) The 1903 issue of
The Watch Tower cited earlier said regarding depressed ones: “Lacking . . . self-esteem, they need to
be pushed to the front a little, in order to bring out what talents they really possess, for their own en-
couragement and for the blessing also of the entire household of faith.”
The Bible example of Elkanah and his depressed wife Hannah illustrates how you can strengthen
with words, as Job did. Elkanah had two wives. One of them, Peninnah, had several children, but
Hannah was barren. Likely, Hannah considered herself worthless. (Compare Genesis 30:1.) As if this
load were not heavy enough, Peninnah vexed her to the point that she broke down in tears and lost
her appetite. Though Elkanah was unaware of the depth of her distress, on seeing her situation, he in-
quired: “Hannah, why do you weep, and why do you not eat, and why does your heart feel bad?”—
1 Samuel 1:1-8.
Elkanah’s kindly, unaccusing questions gave Hannah opportunity to put her feelings into words.
Whether she replied or not, she was helped to analyze why she likely felt worthless. So, too, a de-
pressed soul may say, ‘I am just a bad person.’ You could ask, ‘Why do you feel that way?’ Then lis-
ten carefully as he unburdens to you what he feels in his heart.—Compare Proverbs 20:5.
Elkanah then asked Hannah this very strengthening question: “Am I not better to you than ten
sons?” Hannah was reminded of his affection for her, despite her barrenness. He considered her pre-
cious, and she could therefore conclude: ‘Well, I am not so worthless after all. I really do have the
deep love of my husband!’ His words fortified Hannah, for she began to eat and went on to the tem-
ple.—1 Samuel 1:8, 9.
Just as Elkanah was specific and drew his wife’s attention to a legitimate reason for her to feel bet-
ter about herself, those who wish to help depressed persons must do likewise. For example, a Christi-
an named Naomi said this about what helped her to regain her joy: “Some of the friends praised the
way I had raised my son, the way I kept my home, and even the way I kept up my appearance de-
spite my depression. This encouragement meant so much!” Yes, deserved commendation helps a de-
pressed soul to see his or her good qualities and make a proper estimate of self-worth.
If your wife is depressed, why not seek to build her up in harmony with the words of Proverbs
31:28, 29? There we read: “Her owner rises up, and he praises her. There are many daughters that
have shown capableness, but you—you have ascended above them all.” Still, a depressed wife may
not accept such an assessment, since she may feel like a failure because of being unable to care for
household tasks as well as she thinks she should. By reminding her of the woman she is inside, and
what she was like before experiencing depression, however, you may be able to convince her that
your praise is not empty flattery. You might also acknowledge that what she now does represents a
supreme effort. You could say: ‘I know what it took for you to do this. How commendable that you are
putting forth that much effort!’ Receiving the approval and praise of one’s mate and children, those
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who know one the best, is vital for rebuilding self-esteem.—Compare 1 Corinthians 7:33, 34.
Use of Bible examples may help a depressed person to see what changes in thinking may be nec-
essary. For instance, perhaps an individual is overly sensitive about the opinions of others. You might
discuss the example of Epaphroditus and ask: ‘Why do you think he became depressed when he
learned that his home congregation had heard of his sickness? Was he really a failure? Why did Paul
say to hold him dear? Did the real value of Epaphroditus as a person depend on the privilege of serv-
ice he held?’ Such questions may help the depressed Christian to make personal application and real-
ize that he is not a failure.
“Support the Weak”
The Bible urges: “Support the weak.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14) The existence of a network of Christi-
an friends who can provide practical care is another advantage of true religion. Real friends are those
“born for when there is distress,” and they truly stick with a depressed person. (Proverbs 17:17) When
the apostle Paul felt “laid low” and had “fears within,” he was comforted “by the presence of Titus.”
(2 Corinthians 7:5, 6) Similarly, warmhearted visits and telephone calls at appropriate times are likely
to be deeply appreciated by depressed souls. You might ask if there is any way you can give practical
help, such as running errands, doing housework, or the like. A Christian named Maria says: “When I
was depressed, a friend wrote to me several times and always included encouraging scriptures. I
would read the letter over and over, crying as I read it. Such letters were like gold to me.”
After encouraging the congregation to help “the depressed souls,” Paul says: “Be long-suffering to-
ward all. See that no one renders injury for injury to anyone else.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14, 15) Pa-
tience is vital, for because of mental pain, negative thinking, and exhaustion from a lack of sleep, a
depressed person may respond with “wild talk,” as did Job. (Job 6:2, 3) Rachelle, a Christian whose
mother became seriously depressed, revealed: “Many times Mom would say something very hateful.
Most of these times, I tried to remind myself of the kind of person Mom really is—loving, kind, and
generous. I learned that depressed persons say many things that they do not mean. The worst thing
that one can do is to return evil words or actions.”
Some mature Christian women may especially be in a position to bring relief to other women suffer-
ing emotional anguish. (Compare 1 Timothy 5:9, 10.) These capable Christian women can make it a
point to speak with such ones consolingly on fitting occasions. At times it is more appropriate that ma-
ture Christian sisters rather than brothers continue to help a woman. By organizing matters and
supervising them properly, Christian elders can see to it that the depressed souls receive the needed
care.
Elders With Educated Tongues
Especially must spiritual shepherds have “knowledge and insight” so that they will “know how to
talk to encourage the weary.” (Jeremiah 3:15; Isaiah 50:4, Beck) If an elder is not careful, however, he
might unintentionally make a depressed person feel worse. For instance, Job’s three companions
supposedly went to “sympathize with him and comfort him.” But their words, motivated by a wrong
view of Job’s predicament, served to ‘crush’ him rather than comfort him.—Job 2:11; 8:1, 5, 6; 11:1,
13-19; 19:2.
Various articles in Watch Tower publications have outlined principles that can be applied in counsel-
ing individuals. Most elders have applied such material. Yet, in some cases thoughtless statements by
elders—either on a personal level or in talks—have been very harmful. So let elders not ‘speak
thoughtlessly as with the stabs of a sword’ but with the ‘healing tongue of the wise ones.’ (Proverbs
12:18) If an elder thinks of the possible impact of his remarks before he speaks, his words can be
soothing. Therefore, elders, be quick to listen and slow to draw conclusions without having the whole
picture.—Proverbs 18:13.
When elders take a genuine interest in depressed persons, such individuals feel loved and appreci-
ated. Such unselfish care may move these individuals to overlook any discouraging remarks. (James
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3:2) Depressed persons are often overwhelmed with guilt, and elders can help them to get a balanced
view of matters. Even when a serious sin has been committed, the spiritual care provided by the eld-
ers can help ‘what is lame to be healed.’—Hebrews 12:13.
When depressed persons feel that their prayers are ineffective, elders can pray with them and for
them. By reading with them Bible-based articles dealing with depression, elders can ‘grease’ these in-
dividuals with soothing spiritual words. (James 5:14, 15) Elders can also help a depressed one to take
Scriptural steps to resolve any personal differences he or she may have with someone, if this is a
problem. (Compare Matthew 5:23, 24; 18:15-17.) Often, such conflicts, especially in the family, are at
the root of depression.
Realize that recovery takes time. Even Elkanah’s loving efforts did not immediately relieve Hannah
of her depression. Her own prayers as well as reassurances by the high priest finally led to relief.
(1 Samuel 1:12-18) Hence, be patient if there is slow response. Of course, elders in general are not
doctors and may therefore find their efforts limited in some cases. They, along with members of the
depressed person’s family, may need to encourage that one to seek professional help. If necessary,
elders or family members can clearly explain to any professional the importance of respecting the de-
pressed one’s religious convictions.
Until God’s new world, no one will have perfect physical, mental, or emotional health. In the mean-
time, any Christian who loses his joy because of depression can draw strength not only from the
Christian congregation but also from our heavenly Father, “who comforts the depressed.”—2 Corinthi-
ans 7:6, New American Standard Bible.
[Footnotes]
See the article “Defeating Depression—How Others Can Help” in Awake! of November 8, 1987, pa-
ges 12-16.
See the articles “An Educated Tongue—‘To Encourage the Weary’” in The Watchtower of June 1,
1982, and “‘Spiritual Words’ for the Mentally Distressed” in the issue of November 15, 1988.
[Box on page 29]
HOW TO SPEAK CONSOLINGLY
□ LISTEN CAREFULLY—With discerning questions ‘draw up’ the feelings of the person’s heart. Be
quick to listen and slow to reach any conclusions before having the full picture.—Proverbs 20:5;
18:13.
□ SHOW EMPATHY—“Fellow feeling” should join with ‘tender compassion’ as you try to identify
emotionally with the depressed one. ‘Weep with one who weeps.’—1 Peter 3:8; Romans 12:15.
□ BE LONG-SUFFERING—It may take repeated discussions, so be patient. Overlook “wild talk” that
the depressed one may speak because of frustration.—Job 6:3.
□ STRENGTHEN WITH WORDS—Help the depressed one to see his or her good qualities. Give
specific commendation. Show that problems, past bad experiences, or shortcomings do not deter-
mine one’s personal worth. Explain why God loves and cares about him or her.—Job 16:5.
*** w88 10/15 pp. 25-29 Mental Distress—When It Afflicts a Christian *** back
Mental Distress—When It Afflicts a Christian
MENTAL-HEALTH experts say that perhaps 1 in 5 individuals in the United States suffers some
sort of recognizable mental disorder. The World Health Organization adds that there may be as many
as 40 million untreated cases of mental illness in developing lands. Mental problems have even been
discovered among some inhabitants of the paradisaic Pacific isles.
It should therefore not surprise us that a number of Christians today experience mental or emotion-
al difficulties ranging from simple anxiety and mild depression to serious illnesses such as major de-
pression, bipolar disorders (manic-depression), phobias, and schizophrenia. Some had such prob-
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lems before becoming Witnesses, while others have begun suffering distress in their older years.
Why Christians Are Not Immune
One Christian woman with over 20 years of dedicated service reports being tormented by forceful
and unrelenting voices. “I’ll be thinking on any other subject,” says she, “and up comes the voice say-
ing, ‘kill yourself.’ . . . Over and over you hear these voices until you can’t take it anymore.” How is it
possible for a faithful Christian to suffer this way? Does not 2 Timothy 1:7 say: “God gave us not a spi-
rit of cowardice, but that of power and of love and of soundness of mind”?
Yes, but soundness of mind generally refers less to psychological well-being than to a Christian’s
ability to exercise Bible-based judgment. Unlike a person of the world who is “in darkness mentally,”
or “corrupted in mind,” a Christian has ‘made his mind over’ by studying God’s Word. (Ephesians
4:17, 18; 2 Timothy 3:8; Romans 12:2) This unquestionably does much to promote a Christian’s emo-
tional and mental balance, yet it does not make him immune to mental health problems. Some faithful
servants of God in Bible times, such as Epaphroditus, suffered forms of mental distress.—Philippians
2:25, 26; Luke 2:48.
“In Adam all are dying,” the apostle Paul reminds us. (1 Corinthians 15:22) Many of us have ob-
vious physical ailments. Others suffer from mental or emotional sickness.
Causes of Mental Distress
Physical factors appear to be at the root of many cases of mental distress. For example, the Bible
tells of a person whose eyes “see strange things.” The cause of such mysterious hallucinations?
“Staying a long time with the wine”! (Proverbs 23:29-33) Clearly, alcohol can cause the brain to hallu-
cinate. Doctors say that in a similar way, faulty brain chemistry, genetic factors, and possibly even diet
can cause brain malfunctions. Mental and emotional difficulties can result.
Strong psychological pressures, such as stress, may also trigger emotional problems. Simply trying
to maintain moral purity and a Christian personality in these “critical times hard to deal with” can be a
source of stress. (2 Timothy 3:1-5) Why, Lot “was tormenting his righteous soul” over the wickedness
he was daily exposed to in Sodom! (2 Peter 2:8) Furthermore, some Christians have been mentally
affected because of having been raped, sexually abused, or owing to past acts of promiscuity or drug
abuse. Such things can exact a fearsome toll on a person’s mental health.
What Elders Can Do
Elders are concerned with shepherding all the flock entrusted to their care—including those suffer-
ing emotional distress. (1 Peter 5:2; Isaiah 32:1, 2) True, they are not doctors, and they cannot cure
individuals of their ills any more than the apostle Paul cured Epaphroditus of his physical sickness or
subsequent depression. (Philippians 2:25-29) Yet, by showing real concern and fellow feeling, they
can often do much to help and encourage such ones.—1 Peter 3:8.
What, then, if a brother begins behaving peculiarly or complains of emotional upheaval? The elders
may first try to draw out the sufferer, trying to determine just what is bothering him. Has some person-
al calamity or unusually stressful circumstance—perhaps the loss of a job or death of a loved one—
temporarily thrown him off balance? (Ecclesiastes 7:7) Is the afflicted one mildly depressed due to
loneliness and thus in need of someone to “speak consolingly” to him? (1 Thessalonians 5:14) Or
could it be that the brother is disturbed over some personal shortcoming? Reassurance of God’s love
and mercy—along with appropriate counsel—may help to alleviate his anxieties. (Psalm 103:3, 8-14)
Much good may be accomplished simply by praying with the distressed brother.—James 5:14.
Elders can also share practical wisdom with the sufferer. (Proverbs 2:7) For example, we noted
that some emotional disturbances may be related to diet. The elders may therefore suggest that the
brother eat balanced meals and avoid dietary extremes. Or they may discern that the distressed one
has been under great pressure on his job and would benefit greatly from “a handful of rest”—more
regularly getting a good night’s sleep.—Ecclesiastes 4:6.
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Those Who ‘Need a Physician’
When severe distress persists, though, it is well to recall Jesus’ words: “Persons in health do not
need a physician, but the ailing do.” (Matthew 9:12) Many distressed persons are reluctant to see a
physician. Elders and family members may thus need to encourage a brother to seek medical atten-
tion, such as having a thorough examination by a trusted doctor. Says Professor Maurice J. Martin: “A
wide variety of physical diseases masquerade as psychiatric disorders.” And even where mental ill-
ness really is involved, effective treatments often exist.
The wife of an elder tells how her disturbed husband “became afraid to be around the brothers and
didn’t want to go to the meetings. . . . He desperately wanted to die!” But after he received professio-
nal medical attention, his wife was able to report: “He is no longer deeply depressed, nor does he
want to stay away from meetings. This morning he gave the public talk!”
Admittedly, not all situations are resolved so easily. Science is just beginning to unravel the mys-
teries of mental problems. Getting properly diagnosed and treated can be a long, complicated proc-
ess—but it often pays off.
Afflicted by the Demons?
Some victims of mental difficulties fear they are under demonic attack, claiming at times to hear
“voices.” True, the demons have been known to make sane individuals behave irrationally. (Mark 5:2-
6, 15) There is no proof that the demons are involved in most cases of bizarre behavior, any more
than that they are involved in all cases of speechlessness, blindness, and epilepsy. Yet, back in Bible
times, the demons sometimes caused (or at least aggravated) these very ailments! (Matthew 9:32,
33; 12:22; 17:15-18) The Bible makes a clear distinction, though, between “those who were ill and
those demon-possessed.” (Mark 1:32-34; Matthew 4:24; Acts 5:16) Obviously, then, the vast majority
of cases of blindness or epilepsy today are caused by physical—not demonic—factors. The same no
doubt can be said of most cases of mental distress.
Still, it must be remembered that Satan and his demons are ‘waging war’ with God’s people and
have been known to harass faithful Christians. (Revelation 12:17; Ephesians 6:12) The demons are
fiendish, and it should not surprise us that they take sadistic delight in tormenting some mentally dis-
tressed souls—compounding their difficulties.
So if the elders have good reason to suspect that demonic influence is involved, there is no harm in
their making some inquiry. Has the person, for example, received any suspicious items directly and
deliberately from individuals who are involved in some form of demonism? Disposal of such objects
may bring relief. (Acts 19:18-20) Since Christians are told to “oppose the Devil,” the elders can also
advise the afflicted one to reject any strange “voices” that could be of demonic origin. (James 4:7;
Matthew 4:10) If a person feels under attack, he should pray fervently, calling upon Jehovah’s name
out loud.—Ephesians 6:18; Proverbs 18:10.
Demonic involvement, however, appears to be the exception—not the rule. One sister relates: “I
thought I was possessed by a demon until I sought medical help and was informed that I had a chemi-
cal imbalance. It gave me great relief to find out that it was an illness that was causing my actions and
not some demon person that was inside of me!”
Psychiatric Medications
A variety of medications are now used by doctors in the treatment of mental disturbances. Medi-
cally supervised use of some such medications has permitted severely ill Christians to function nor-
mally. Some well-intentioned brothers, though, have discouraged patients from taking prescribed med-
ication, perhaps fearing that it might be harmful or addictive. There are, of course, risks involved with
any kind of medical treatment, and “the shrewd one considers his steps,” considering long-term re-
sults.—Proverbs 14:15.
Interestingly, however, many psychiatric drugs are not hallucinogenic, tranquilizing, or addictive;
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they serve merely to correct chemical imbalances in the brain. Antipsychotics, for example, may help
to tame the often bizarre symptoms of schizophrenia. Lithium can help to ease depression and level
the highs and lows of manic-depression.
Granted, powerful drugs are sometimes used to tranquilize a patient or to suppress suicidal ten-
dencies. Yet, if a brother is taking prescribed medication not for pleasure but so that he can function
normally, this can be viewed in much the same way as a diabetic’s using insulin.
It should be remembered that psychiatric medications are often slow acting and may have unpleas-
ant side effects. At times, too, there is a measure of trial and error in a doctor’s finding an effective
medication and/or dosage that produces the fewest side effects. Patients often become discouraged.
Family members and others can therefore be supportive of the person undergoing treatment, encour-
aging him to be patient and to cooperate with qualified medical personnel. What if he has questions
about a certain medication? Or what if problems develop or a treatment seems ineffective? Such
problems should be discussed with his physician. If necessary, a second opinion can be obtained.
Talk Therapies
In some cases, consideration may also be given to having the patient talk matters out with a
trained professional. Perhaps a trusted family doctor who is personally acquainted with the patient
can serve in this way. What, though, about accepting treatment from a psychiatrist or a psychologist?
This would be a personal decision to be made with due caution. Therapists differ in their approaches
to treatment. Some, for example, still practice forms of Freudian psychoanalysis, the validity of which
is challenged by many in the mental health field.
Of even more concern is the fact that some well-intentioned practitioners have given advice that
flatly contradicts the Bible. Failing to understand Christian principles—even viewing such as “foolish-
ness”—some therapists have even concluded that following the Bible’s strict moral code is the source
of a person’s difficulties!—1 Corinthians 2:14.
However, some practitioners, including psychologists and psychiatrists, offer forms of talk therapy
that are not really psychoanalysis but are a means of helping a patient to understand his illness, rein-
forcing the need for medication, and ironing out practical problems. A Christian may find such thera-
pies helpful, but he needs to get his facts straight before accepting treatment: Just what does the
treatment involve? What kind of advice will be given? Does the physician understand and respect the
beliefs of Jehovah’s Witnesses? If talk therapy is agreed to, ‘test out the words’ of a doctor instead of
just accepting everything unquestioningly.—Job 12:11, 12.
For the most part, then, mental distress can be viewed as a medical problem—not a spiritual one.
Understanding this fact, families, elders, and congregation members can better be of support to suf-
ferers. At times distressed ones also need spiritual support. How the congregation can provide this
will be considered in a future issue.
[Footnotes]
See the October 22, 1987, and September 8, 1986, issues of our companion magazine, Awake!
The Society does not recommend or pass judgment upon the various medications and treatments
employed by physicians. Research in the Society’s publications may, nevertheless, prove helpful.
If an ill one has difficulty explaining his Bible-based stand to a physician or therapist, perhaps some
mature Christian can assist him.
[Picture on page 26]
By being sympathetic listeners and counselors, elders can often help persons suffering emotional dis-
tress
[Picture on page 29]
Sometimes it is advisable for a mentally ill person to seek medical help
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*** g04 1/8 p. 3 Tormented Minds *** back
Tormented Minds
NICOLE has had bouts of dark moods since she was 14 years old. At age 16, however, she began
to experience something new—a curious state of euphoria and unusually high energy. Racing
thoughts, fragmented speech, and a lack of sleep were accompanied by an unfounded suspicion that
her friends were taking advantage of her. Next, Nicole claimed that she could change the color of ob-
jects at will. At this point Nicole’s mother realized that medical help was needed, so she took Nicole to
the hospital. After closely monitoring Nicole’s shifting moods, doctors finally reached a diagnosis: Nic-
ole was suffering from bipolar disorder.
Like Nicole, millions of people worldwide are afflicted with a mood disorder—either bipolar disorder
or some form of clinical depression. The effects of these ailments can be devastating. “For many
years I was in pain,” says a bipolar patient named Steven. “I experienced terrible lows and then eu-
phoric highs. Therapy and medication helped, but it was still a struggle.”
What causes mood disorders? What is it like to be afflicted with depression or bipolar disorder?
How can sufferers—and their caregivers—be provided with the support that they need?
[Footnote]
Also called manic-depressive disorder. Please note that some of these symptoms could indicate
schizophrenia, drug abuse, or even normal adolescent adjustment. A diagnosis should be reached
only after a thorough examination by a qualified professional.
*** g04 1/8 pp. 4-7 Living With a Mood Disorder *** back
Living With a Mood Disorder
MOOD disorders are alarmingly common. It is estimated, for example, that more than 330 million
people worldwide suffer from serious depression, a condition characterized by overwhelming sadness
and a loss of pleasure in everyday activities. It has been estimated that in 20 years, depression will be
outranked only by cardiovascular disease. Little wonder that it has been called “the common cold of
mental illness.”
In recent years bipolar disorder has received greater public attention. Traits of this illness include
severe mood swings that vacillate between depression and mania. “During the depressed phase,”
says a recent book published by the American Medical Association, “you may be haunted by thoughts
of suicide. During the manic phase of your illness, your good judgment may evaporate and you may
not be able to see the harm of your actions.”
Bipolar disorder may affect 2 percent of the population in the United States, meaning that there are
millions of sufferers in that country alone. Sheer numbers, though, cannot describe the tormenting ex-
perience of living with a mood disorder.
Depression—Overwhelming Sadness
Most of us know what it is like to experience a wave of sadness. In time—perhaps in just a matter
of hours or days—the feeling subsides. Clinical depression, however, is far more serious. In what
way? “Those of us who are not depressed know that the rides our emotions take us on eventually
end,” explains Dr. Mitch Golant, “but the depressed individual experiences the ups and downs, twists
and turns of his feelings as if on a runaway train without a clear sense of how or when—or even if—
he can ever get off.”
Clinical depression can take many forms. Some people, for example, have what is called seasonal
affective disorder (SAD), which manifests itself during a particular time of year—usually winter. “Peo-
ple with SAD report that their depressions worsen the farther north they live and the more overcast
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the weather,” says a book published by the People’s Medical Society. “While SAD has been linked
mainly to dark winter days, in some cases it’s been associated with dark indoor work spaces, unsea-
sonable cloudy spells and vision difficulties.”
What causes clinical depression? The answer is not clear. While in some cases there seems to be
a genetic link, in most instances life experiences appear to play an important role. It has also been
noted that it is diagnosed in twice as many women as men. But this does not mean that men are unaf-
fected. On the contrary, it is estimated that between 5 and 12 percent of men will become clinically
depressed at some point in life.
When this type of depression strikes, it is all-pervasive and affects virtually every aspect of one’s
life. It “shakes you to the core,” says a sufferer named Sheila, “corroding your confidence, self-es-
teem, your ability to think straight and make decisions, and then when it reaches deep enough, it
gives a few hard squeezes just to see if you can hold on.”
There are times when a sufferer can gain much relief by talking out his or her feelings with an em-
pathetic listener. (Job 10:1) Even so, it must be acknowledged that when biochemical factors are in-
volved, depression cannot simply be willed away with a positive outlook. Really, in such a case, the
dark moods of this illness are beyond the sufferer’s control. Furthermore, the sufferer may be as
baffled by the condition as family members and friends are.
Consider Paula, a Christian who endured crippling episodes of intense sadness before her depres-
sion was diagnosed. “Sometimes after Christian meetings,” she says, “I would rush out to my car and
weep, for no reason at all. I just had this overwhelming sense of loneliness and pain. Although all the
evidence showed that I had many friends who cared for me, I was blind to it.”
Something similar happened to Ellen, whose depression required that she be hospitalized. “I have
two sons, two lovely daughters-in-law, and a husband—all of whom I know love me very much,” she
says. Logic, it seems, would tell Ellen that life is good and that she is precious to her family. But on
the battlefield of depression, dark thoughts—no matter how irrational—can overwhelm the sufferer.
Not to be overlooked is the significant impact that one person’s depression can have on the rest of
the family. “When someone you love is depressed,” writes Dr. Golant, “you may live with a chronic
sense of uncertainty, never really knowing when your loved one will recover from a depressive epi-
sode or fall into a new one. You can feel profound loss—even grief and anger—that life has deviated,
maybe permanently, from the norm.”
Often, children can detect a parent’s depression. “A depressed mother’s child becomes highly at-
tuned to his mother’s emotional states, carefully observing every nuance and change,” writes Dr. Go-
lant. Dr. Carol Watkins notes that children of a depressed parent are “more likely to have behavioral
problems, learning difficulties, and peer problems. They are more likely to become depressed them-
selves.”
Bipolar Disorder—Consistently Inconsistent
Clinical depression is indeed challenging. But when mania is added to the equation, the result is
called bipolar disorder. “The only consistent thing about bipolar disorder is that it is inconsistent,” says
a sufferer named Lucia. During mania, notes The Harvard Mental Health Letter, bipolar patients “can
be unbearably intrusive and domineering, and their reckless and restless euphoria may suddenly
change into irritability or rage.”
Lenore recalls her experience with the exhilaration of mania. “I was absolutely brimming over with
energy,” she says. “Many called me a superwoman. People would say, ‘I wish I could be more like
you.’ I often felt a great sense of power, as though I could accomplish anything. I exercised furiously. I
functioned on very little sleep—two or three hours a night. Yet, I woke up with that same high energy
level.”
In time, however, a dark cloud began to hover over Lenore. “At the height of my euphoria,” she
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says, “I would feel an agitation from somewhere deep inside, a motor running that could not be shut
off. In a flash, my agreeable mood would become aggressive and destructive. I would verbally pounce
on a family member for no apparent reason. I was furious, hateful, and completely out of control. After
this frightening display, I would suddenly become exhausted, tearful, and extremely depressed. I felt
worthless and wicked. On the other hand, I might switch back to my amazingly cheerful self, as if
nothing had ever happened.”
The erratic behavior of bipolar disorder is a source of confusion to family members. Mary, whose
husband suffers from bipolar disorder, states: “It can be confusing to see my husband happy and talk-
ative and then suddenly become despondent and withdrawn. It’s a real struggle for us to accept the
fact that he has little control over this.”
Ironically, bipolar disorder is often just as distressful—if not more so—to the sufferer. “I envy people
who have balance and stability in their lives,” says a bipolar patient named Gloria. “Stability is a place
that bipolar people visit. None of us actually live there.”
What causes bipolar disorder? There is a genetic component—one that is stronger than that of de-
pression. “According to some scientific studies,” says the American Medical Association, “immediate
family members—parents, siblings, or children—of people with bipolar depression are 8 to 18 times
more likely than the close relatives of healthy people to develop the illness. In addition, having a close
family member with bipolar depression may make you more vulnerable to major depression.”
In contrast with depression, bipolar disorder seems to afflict men and women equally. Most often, it
begins in young adulthood, but cases of bipolar disorder have been diagnosed in teenagers and even
children. Nevertheless, analyzing the symptoms and arriving at the proper conclusion can be highly
challenging even for a medical expert. “Bipolar disorder is the chameleon of psychiatric disorders,
changing its symptom presentation from one patient to the next, and from one episode to the next
even in the same patient,” writes Dr. Francis Mark Mondimore of the Johns Hopkins University School
of Medicine. “It is a phantom that can sneak up on its victim cloaked in the darkness of melancholy
but then disappear for years at a time—only to return in the resplendent but fiery robes of mania.”
Clearly, mood disorders are difficult to diagnose and can be even more difficult to live with. But
there is hope for sufferers.
[Footnotes]
In part, this may be due to their susceptibility to postpartum depression as well as hormonal changes
at menopause. Then, too, women are usually more inclined to seek medical attention and, hence,
receive a diagnosis.
Some names appearing in this series have been changed.
Doctors report that often, each mood persists for many months. However, they note, some “rapid cy-
clers” vacillate between depression and mania several times per year. In rare cases, sufferers
switch from one extreme to the other within a 24-hour period.
[Blurb on page 6]
“Stability is a place that bipolar people visit. None of us actually live there.”—GLORIA
[Box/Picture on page 5]
Symptoms of Major Depression
● A depressed mood, most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks
● Loss of interest in once pleasurable activities
● Significant weight loss or gain
● Excessive sleep or the opposite, insomnia
● An abnormal speeding or slowing of motor skills
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30
● Excessive fatigue, with no discernible cause
● Feelings of worthlessness and/or inappropriate guilt
● Diminished ability to concentrate
● Recurring thoughts of ending it all
Some of these symptoms may also indicate dysthymia—a mild but more chronic form of depression
[Footnote]
This list is presented to serve as an overview and not to provide a basis for making a self-diagnosis.
Also, some of the symptoms by themselves may be symptoms of other problems besides depression.
*** g04 1/8 pp. 8-11 Hope for Sufferers *** back
Hope for Sufferers
IN THE past, people tended to avoid those who suffered from mood disorders. As a result, many
who were afflicted became social outcasts. Some encountered job discrimination. Others were
shunned by members of their own family. Often, this only aggravated the problem and prevented
those who were ailing from getting help.
In recent decades, however, great strides have been made in understanding clinical depression
and bipolar disorder. Now it is well-known that these conditions are treatable. But getting help is not
always easy. Why?
Reading the Signs
A mood disorder is not diagnosed with a simple blood test or X ray. Instead, a person’s behavior,
thinking, and judgment are monitored over a period of time. A number of symptoms must be present
for a diagnosis to be reached. The problem is that sometimes family members and friends do not real-
ize that what they are observing constitutes evidence of a mood disorder. “Even when people agree
on how a person’s behavior deviates from normal,” writes Dr. David J. Miklowitz, “they can have very
different beliefs about what causes the person to be this way.”
Furthermore, even when family members feel that the situation is serious, it may be difficult to con-
vince the sufferer that he or she needs medical attention. Or if you are the one who is ailing, you may
not be inclined to get help. Dr. Mark S. Gold writes: “Maybe you believe what you think when you’re
depressed—that you’re no good, so what’s the use of going for help when there’s no hope for some-
body like you anyway. Maybe you’d like to see someone about it but you think that being depressed is
something to be ashamed of, that it’s all your fault. . . . Maybe you don’t know that what you’re feeling
is depression.” Nevertheless, for those who suffer from major depression, medical attention is crucial.
Of course, everyone feels despondent on occasion, and this does not necessarily indicate a mood
disorder. But what if these feelings seem more intense than a mere bout with the blues? And what if
they persist for an unusual length of time—perhaps two weeks or more? Furthermore, suppose the
depressive moods are preventing you from functioning normally, either at work, at school, or in social
situations. In such a case, it might be wise to consult a professional who is qualified to diagnose and
treat depressive disorders.
When a biochemical imbalance is involved, medication may be prescribed. In other cases, a pro-
gram of counseling might be recommended to help the sufferer learn how to cope with his or her con-
dition. At times, both approaches combined have produced beneficial results. The important thing is
to reach out and get help. “Many times sufferers are frightened and ashamed of their condition,” says
Lenore, a bipolar patient mentioned in the preceding article. “The real shame, though, is suspecting
you have a problem and not seeking the help that you so desperately need.”
Lenore is speaking from experience. “I had been virtually bedridden for a year,” she says. “Then,
one day when I was feeling a little stronger, I decided to call and make an appointment with a doctor.”
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31
Lenore’s condition was diagnosed as bipolar disorder, and medication was prescribed. This proved to
be a turning point in her life. “I feel normal when I take my medication,” Lenore says, “although I have
to keep reminding myself that if I stop taking it, all the old symptoms will return.”
It is similar with Brandon, who suffers from depression. “As a teenager,” he says, “I often enter-
tained the idea of committing suicide because of my overwhelming feelings of worthlessness. It
wasn’t until I was in my 30’s that I went to a doctor.” Like Lenore, Brandon takes medication to cope
with his disorder, but more is involved. “To help my overall well-being,” he says, “I take care of my
mind and my body. I get rest and watch what I eat. I also fill my mind and heart with positive thoughts
from the Bible.”
Brandon points out, however, that clinical depression is a medical problem—not a spiritual one.
Realizing this is crucial to recovery. Brandon relates: “Once I was told by a well-meaning fellow Chris-
tian that since Galatians 5:22, 23 says that joy is a fruit of God’s holy spirit, I must be depressed be-
cause I’ve been doing something to block that spirit. That made me feel even more guilty and de-
pressed. But once I started getting help, the black cloud over me began to lift. I felt so much better! I
wished I had got help sooner.”
Winning the Battle
Even after a diagnosis has been made and treatment has begun, it is likely that a mood disorder
will present continual challenges to the sufferer. Kelly, who battles major depression, is grateful for the
professional help that has addressed the medical aspects of her condition. In addition, though, she
has found that the support of others is crucial. At first, Kelly was reluctant to reach out to others be-
cause she did not want to be perceived as a burden. “I had to learn not only to seek help but also to
accept it,” she says. “It wasn’t until I opened up that I was able to stop the downward spiral.”
As one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, Kelly attends meetings with fellow believers at the Kingdom Hall.
At times, though, even these happy occasions present challenges. “Often the lights, the milling
around of people, and the noise can be overwhelming. Then the guilt sets in, and the depression in-
creases because I feel that my disorder must be a reflection of a lack of spirituality.” How does Kelly
deal with this situation? She says: “I have learned that depression is an illness that needs to be dealt
with. It is not a reflection of my love for God or for my fellow Christians. It is not a true reflection of my
spirituality.”
Lucia, mentioned previously in this series of articles, is grateful for the excellent medical care she
has received. “Seeing a mental-health professional has been absolutely vital for my learning to deal
with and ride out the mood swings that accompany this disease,” she says. Lucia also emphasizes
the value of rest. “Sleep is an important key to dealing with mania,” she says. “The less sleep I get,
the higher I climb. Even when sleep won’t come, instead of getting up I have trained myself to lie
there and rest.”
Sheila, also mentioned earlier, has found it helpful to keep a daily journal in which she can pour out
her feelings. She sees a marked improvement in her outlook. Still, there are challenges. “Fatigue, for
some reason, lets negative thoughts percolate in my brain,” Sheila says. “But I’ve learned to silence
them or at least lower their volume.”
Comfort From God’s Word
The Bible is a strengthening aid for many who suffer from “disquieting thoughts.” (Psalm 94:17-
19, 22) Cherie, for example, found Psalm 72:12, 13 to be particularly encouraging. There, the psal-
mist states about God’s appointed King, Jesus Christ: “He will deliver the poor one crying for help, al-
so the afflicted one and whoever has no helper. He will feel sorry for the lowly one and the poor one,
and the souls of the poor ones he will save.” Cherie was also encouraged by the words of the apostle
Paul recorded at Romans 8:38, 39: “I am convinced that neither death nor life nor angels nor govern-
ments nor things now here nor things to come nor powers nor height nor depth nor any other creation
will be able to separate us from God’s love.”
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Elaine, a bipolar patient, finds her relationship with God to be an anchor. She is greatly comforted
by the words of the psalmist: “A heart broken and crushed, O God, you will not despise.” (Psalm
51:17) “It has truly been a comfort to know that our loving heavenly Father, Jehovah, understands,”
she says. “It has been strengthening to draw close to him in prayer, especially in times of great anxi-
ety and distress.”
As can be seen, living with a mood disorder presents unique challenges. However, Cherie and
Elaine found that prayerful reliance on God along with appropriate treatment enabled them to improve
their lot in life. How, though, can family members and friends help those who suffer from bipolar disor-
der or depression?
[Footnote]
Awake! does not endorse any particular approach. Christians should make sure that any treatment
they pursue does not conflict with Bible principles.
[Blurb on page 10]
“Once I started getting help, the black cloud over me began to lift. I felt so much better!”—BRANDON
[Box on page 9]
A Spouse’s Observations
“Before the onset of Lucia’s illness, she touched the lives of many with her keen insight. Even now
when people visit my wife when she is calm, they seem drawn by her warmth. What most do not real-
ize is that Lucia alternates between extremes of depression and mania. Such is the legacy of bipolar
disorder, the illness she has endured for the past four years.
“During the manic phase, it is not unusual for Lucia to be up until one, two, or even three o’clock in
the morning, with creative ideas reeling through her mind. Energy just pours out of her. She will over-
react to the minutest things and spend money impulsively. She will walk into the most dangerous sit-
uations, feeling that she is invincible, that there is no danger—morally, physically, or otherwise. Re-
lated to this impulsiveness is the risk of suicide. Always on the heels of mania is depression, the in-
tensity of which is usually proportionate to that of the preceding mania.
“Life for me has changed dramatically. Even with Lucia’s treatment, what we can accomplish today
may be different from what we could accomplish yesterday or will tomorrow. It changes as our circum-
stances do. I found myself forced to become more flexible than I ever thought possible for me.”—Mar-
io.
[Box/Picture on page 11]
When Medication Is Prescribed
Some feel that taking medication is a sign of weakness. But think of it this way: A diabetic must sub-
mit to a program of treatment that may include taking insulin injections. Is this a sign of failure?
Hardly! It is simply a means of balancing the body’s nutrients so that the sufferer can remain healthy.
It is much the same with taking medication for depressive and bipolar disorders. Although many peo-
ple have been helped by a program of counseling that has enabled them to understand their illness, a
caution is in order. When a chemical imbalance is involved, the illness cannot be simply reasoned
away with logic. Steven, a bipolar patient, relates: “The medical professional who treated me illus-
trated it this way: You can give a person all the driving lessons in the world, but if you give that person
a car with no steering wheel or brakes, then those lessons won’t do much good. In the same way, giv-
ing only cognitive counseling to a depressed person may not attain the desired results. Balancing the
brain’s chemistry is a valuable first step.”
[Picture on page 10]
The Bible is a strengthening aid for many who suffer from negative thoughts
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33 back
*** g04 1/8 pp. 12-13 How Others Can Help ***
How Others Can Help
PERHAPS you know someone who suffers from depression or bipolar disorder. If so, how can you
be supportive? D. J. Jaffe of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill offers this sound advice: “Don’t
confuse the illness with the individual; instead, hate the disease but love the person.”
A woman named Susanna had the patience and love to do just that. She had a friend who was a
bipolar patient. “There were times when she just couldn’t bear to be around me,” Susanna says. In-
stead of giving up on her friend, Susanna did research to learn about bipolar disorder. “Now,” she
says, “I realize how much my friend’s demeanor was affected by her illness.” Susanna feels that mak-
ing efforts to understand the sufferer can bring a wonderful reward. “It can help you grow to love and
treasure the beautiful person behind the illness,” she says.
When the ailing one is a family member, wholehearted support is crucial. Mario, mentioned previ-
ously in this series, learned this lesson early on. His wife, Lucia, also mentioned earlier, is a bipolar
patient. “Initially,” Mario says, “I was helped by going with my wife to her doctor and by studying up on
this strange malady so that I would be thoroughly familiar with what we were up against. Lucia and I
also talked a lot with each other and kept working with whatever situation developed as time went on.”
Support From the Christian Congregation
The Bible admonishes all Christians to “speak consolingly to the depressed souls” and to “be long-
suffering toward all.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14) How can you do this? First, it is important to understand
the distinction between mental and spiritual illness. For example, the Bible writer James indicated that
prayer can make the spiritually indisposed one well. (James 5:14, 15) Nevertheless, Jesus acknowl-
edged that those who are physically ailing need a physician. (Matthew 9:12) Of course, it is always
right and helpful to pray to Jehovah about any concern, including our health. (Psalm 55:22; Philip-
pians 4:6, 7) But the Bible does not state that increased spiritual activity in itself will cure present med-
ical problems.
Discerning Christians, therefore, avoid implying that depressed people are responsible for their
own suffering. Such remarks would be no more helpful than those offered by Job’s false comforters.
(Job 8:1-6) The fact is that in many cases depression will not improve unless it is treated medically.
This is especially so when a person is severely depressed, perhaps even suicidal. In such cases, pro-
fessional attention is essential.
Still, there is much that fellow Christians can do to be supportive. Of course, patience is required.
For example, certain aspects of Christian activity may be especially daunting to those with a mood
disorder. A bipolar sufferer named Diane says: “I am finding it a struggle to take part in the ministry. It
is challenging to bring the good and happy news from the Bible to others when I don’t feel good and
happy inside.”
To be of assistance to sufferers, strive to be empathetic. (1 Corinthians 10:24; Philippians 2:4) Try
to view matters through the eyes of the sufferer rather than through your own. Do not burden the indi-
vidual with unreasonable expectations. “When I am accepted for the person I am now,” says Carl,
who struggles with depression, “I feel that my sense of belonging is gradually being restored. With the
patient help of a few older friends, I have been able to build a closer relationship with God and have
found a great measure of joy in helping others to do the same.”
With support, those who are ailing can find great relief from their distress. Consider a Christian
woman named Brenda, who is also a bipolar patient. “My friends from the congregation have been
wonderfully supportive and understanding during my low periods, never judging me as spiritually
weak,” she says. “There have been times when they have let me accompany them in the ministry and
let me just listen or when they have saved a seat for me at the Kingdom Hall so that I could come in
after everyone is seated.”
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The assistance of loving and empathetic congregation elders has been a great aid to Cherie, men-
tioned in the preceding article, who suffers from depression. She says: “When the elders reassure me
of Jehovah’s love, read me passages from God’s Word, the Bible, and speak of Jehovah’s purpose
for a paradise of peace and well-being and when they pray with me—even on the telephone—I feel
the burden lifting. I know I am not abandoned by Jehovah or by my brothers, and that is a source of
strength for me.”
There is no doubt that by providing meaningful support, family members and friends can play a sig-
nificant role in a sufferer’s well-being. “I think I have a pretty good handle on my life now,” says Lucia.
“My husband and I have worked hard to get through this together, and things are better than ever for
us.”
Many who now struggle with various types of mental illness realize that the battle with these dread-
ful afflictions is a long-term one. Yet, the Bible promises that in God’s new world, “no resident will say:
‘I am sick.’” (Isaiah 33:24) Gone will be the distressing ailments and maladies that plague so many to-
day. It is indeed heartwarming to contemplate God’s promise of a new world in which all illnesses—in-
cluding mood disorders—will be gone forever. At that time, says the Bible, no longer will there be
mourning or outcry or pain.—Revelation 21:4.
[Blurb on page 12]
Jesus acknowledged that those who are ailing need a physician.—MATTHEW 9:12
[Blurb on page 13]
The Bible promises that in God’s new world, “no resident will say: ‘I am sick.’”—ISAIAH 33:24
*** w08 3/1 pp. 13-16 You Can Be Happy Despite Disappointment *** back
You Can Be Happy Despite Disappointment
WHO has never been disappointed? Why, even our heavenly Father, Jehovah God, has experi-
enced the pain of disappointment. For example, he delivered the Israelites from slavery in Egypt and
blessed them richly. Yet, the Bible says: “Again and again they would put God to the test, and they
pained even the Holy One of Israel.” (Psalm 78:41) Nevertheless, Jehovah has always been “the hap-
py God.”—1 Timothy 1:11.
Indeed, many are the causes of disappointment. How can we prevent them from robbing us of our
happiness? What can we learn from the way Jehovah God handled disappointing situations?
Things That Disappoint
“Time and unforeseen occurrence” befall us all, states God’s Word. (Ecclesiastes 9:11) All of a sud-
den, a crime, an accident, or a disease can bring great distress—and disappointment. The Bible also
says: “Expectation postponed is making the heart sick.” (Proverbs 13:12) Eager anticipation of some-
thing good fills us with joy, but if it is not soon realized, we may feel a depressing sense of letdown.
For example, Duncan, who had his heart set on being a missionary, found that after many years in
missionary service, he and his wife had to return home. “For the first time in my life, I lost all sense of
direction,” he said. “I had no goals. Nothing seemed important anymore.” The pain of disappointment
can be long lasting, as in Claire’s case. She explains: “I was seven months pregnant when I lost my
baby by miscarriage. That was years ago, but even now, when I see a boy giving a talk on the stage, I
think to myself, ‘That is how old my son would be.’”
It can also be painful when someone lets you down, as when a courtship ends, a marriage fails, a
child rebels, a companion is disloyal, or a friend is ungrateful. Since we live among imperfect people
and in difficult times, the possibilities for disappointment are endless.
Our own failures can likewise cause disappointment. For instance, if we fail to pass an exam, get a
job, or win someone’s heart, we may feel worthless. We can also feel disappointed with ourselves
when someone we love falters. Mary says: “My daughter seemed to be doing well. I felt that I had set
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a good example for her. But when she turned her back on Jehovah God and our family values, I felt
that I was a total failure. None of the successes I had in other aspects of life could make up for it. I
was so discouraged.”
How can we cope with such letdowns? For the answer, consider the example set by Jehovah in
dealing with disappointment.
Focus on the Solution
Jehovah God lovingly provided for the first human couple, yet they proved to be ungrateful and re-
belled. (Genesis, chapters 2 and 3) Then their son Cain began to develop a bad attitude. Ignoring Je-
hovah’s warning, Cain murdered his own brother. (Genesis 4:1-8) Can you imagine the disappoint-
ment that Jehovah felt?
Why did that disappointment not rob God of his happiness? Because he had purposed to fill the
earth with perfect humans and he continued working to accomplish that purpose. (John 5:17) To that
end, he provided the ransom sacrifice and his Kingdom. (Matthew 6:9, 10; Romans 5:18, 19) Jehovah
God focused, not on the problem, but on the solution.
God’s Word encourages us to focus on positive things rather than on what might have been or
what we should have done. It says: “Whatever things are true, whatever things are of serious con-
cern, whatever things are righteous, whatever things are chaste, whatever things are lovable, what-
ever things are well spoken of, whatever virtue there is and whatever praiseworthy thing there is, con-
tinue considering these things.”—Philippians 4:8.
Proper View of Disappointment
Things may happen that can alter our life dramatically. For example, we might suddenly find our-
selves without a job, without a marriage mate, or without the privileges we once enjoyed. We might
lose our health, our home, or our friends. How can we cope with such changes?
Some have found that setting priorities is helpful. Duncan, mentioned earlier, says: “When my wife
and I realized that we could never go back to our former way of life, we were devastated. Eventually,
we established two priorities: caring for Mother and if at all possible, continuing in the full-time minis-
try. When faced with decisions, we consider how they will affect these priorities. This simplifies every-
thing.”
Many of us tend to exaggerate the negative when we experience disappointment. For example, our
efforts in raising a child, qualifying for a job, or preaching the good news in a foreign field may not pro-
duce the desired result. We might think, ‘I am a failure.’ Yet, just as the disappointing start of the hu-
man race did not prove God a failure, we are not failures simply because our efforts disappoint us at
first.—Deuteronomy 32:4, 5.
It is easy for us to react with bitter resentment when people disappoint us. Jehovah does not act in
that way. King David was a disappointment when he committed adultery and then had the woman’s
husband killed. Yet, Jehovah saw the sincerity of David’s repentance and continued using David as
his servant. Similarly, faithful King Jehoshaphat erred when he formed an alliance with God’s ene-
mies. Jehovah’s prophet said: “For this there is indignation against you from the person of Jehovah.
Nevertheless, there are good things that have been found with you.” (2 Chronicles 19:2, 3) Jehovah
recognized that one mistake did not make Jehoshaphat a traitor. In the same way, we can avoid los-
ing friends if we do not overreact when they err. Friends who disappoint us may still have fine qual-
ities.—Colossians 3:13.
Disappointments can be viewed as necessary experience along the way to ultimate success. We
may be disappointed with ourselves when we commit a sin. Yet, we can recover if we take proper and
purposeful action and move forward. When King David was painfully disappointed with himself, he
wrote: “My bones wore out through my groaning all day long. . . . My sin I finally confessed to you [Je-
hovah] . . . , and you yourself pardoned the error of my sins.” (Psalm 32:3-5) If we realize that we
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have not done what God expects of us, we should ask for God’s forgiveness and change our ways
and be determined to follow God’s counsel more closely in the future.—1 John 2:1, 2.
Prepare Now for Disappointment
Without doubt, all of us will face some sort of disappointment in the future. What can we do to be
prepared? Interesting are the comments of Bruno, an older Christian man who suffered a disappoint-
ment that changed his way of life. He said: “In my case, the most important factor in coping with the
disappointment was that I continued to do what I had been doing before to strengthen my spirituality. I
had learned why God permits this cruel system of things to continue. I had spent years developing a
close relationship with Jehovah. I was so thankful that I had done that. The consolation of knowing
that he was with me helped me to endure the depression I experienced.”
As we contemplate the future, we can be sure of one thing: Although we may disappoint ourselves
or others may disappoint us, God will never disappoint us. In fact, God stated that his name, Jehovah,
means “I shall prove to be what I shall prove to be.” (Exodus 3:14) That gives us confidence that he
will become whatever is necessary in order to fulfill his promises. He has promised that by means of
his Kingdom, his will shall take place “as in heaven, also upon earth.” That is why the apostle Paul
wrote: “I am convinced that neither death nor life nor angels nor governments . . . nor any other crea-
tion will be able to separate us from God’s love that is in Christ Jesus.”—Matthew 6:10; Romans
8:38, 39.
We can confidently look forward to the fulfillment of God’s promise made through the prophet
Isaiah: “Here I am creating new heavens and a new earth; and the former things will not be called to
mind, neither will they come up into the heart.” (Isaiah 65:17) What a marvelous prospect it is that the
time is coming when all memories of disappointments will be a thing of the past!
[Footnote]
Some names have been changed.
[Blurb on page 13]
We are not failures simply because our efforts disappoint us at first
[Blurb on page 14]
God’s Word encourages us to focus on positive things rather than on what might have been
[Pictures on page 15]
God is happy, despite the failings of humans, because his purpose is sure of fulfillment
[Picture on page 16]
Setting spiritual priorities is helpful in coping with disappointments
*** w08 4/1 p. 9 An Observer Who Sees Our Worth ***
Draw Close to God
An Observer Who Sees Our Worth
Luke 12:6, 7
“OUR hearts may condemn us.” With those words, the Bible acknowledges that at times our heart
may cause us to be overly critical of ourselves. Indeed, it may insist that we are unworthy of God’s
love and care. Yet, the Bible reassures us: “God is greater than our hearts and knows all things.”
(1 John 3:19, 20) God knows us better than we know ourselves. His view of us may be very different
from the way we view ourselves. What, then, are we worth in the eyes of the one who really matters—
Jehovah God? The answer can be found in a touching illustration that Jesus used on two separate
occasions.
36
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