2020-11-01 Parents

LIFEÑ Celebrate

Fall Fruit Salad piece around each bundle; INGREDIENTS
secure using a wooden
Active time 5 minutes toothpick. Arrange Nonstick cooking spray
Total time 5 minutes bundles, seam side down,
Makes 6 servings on prepared baking sheet. 2/3 cup Dutch-processed
Brush bundles evenly with cocoa
INGREDIENTS maple syrup. Bake until
2 Bartlett or Bosc pears, green beans are tender and 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
cored and sliced 1/4 in. bacon is crisp, about
thick (about 4 cups) 20 minutes. Remove and 1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 cup chopped fresh discard toothpicks.
flat-leaf parsley 1/2 tsp. plus 1/8 tsp. kosher
2 Tbs. pomegranate arils NUTRITION PER SERVING salt
2 Tbs. roasted, salted 84 calories; 4g protein; 5g fat
pepitas (1g sat. fat); 6g carbs; 2g fiber; 1/2 cup unsalted butter,
2 Tbs. fresh lemon juice 4g sugar; 1mg iron; 25mg melted
1 tsp. canola oil calcium; 309mg sodium
1 tsp. honey 13/4 cups granulated sugar,
1/8 tsp. kosher salt Roasted Turkey divided
Legs
MAKE IT 12/3 cups canned pumpkin
Active time 10 minutes (from one 15-oz. can),
Gently combine pears, Total time 55 minutes divided
parsley, pomegranate arils, Makes 6 drumsticks
and pepitas in a medium 11/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract,
bowl. Whisk lemon juice, oil, INGREDIENTS divided
honey, and salt in a small 6 turkey drumsticks (about
bowl until smooth. Add 33/4 to 41/2 lbs. total) 4 large eggs
dressing to pear mixture;
stir gently to coat. Arrange 13/4 tsp. kosher salt 2/3 cup semisweet-chocolate
on a platter. chips
11/2 tsp. garlic powder
NUTRITION PER SERVING 1 8-oz. pkg. cream cheese,
84 calories; 1g protein; 11/2 tsp. dried thyme at room temperature
2g fat (0 sat. fat); 15g carbs;
3g fiber; 9g sugar; 1mg iron; 11/2 tsp. dried rosemary 1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
13mg calcium; 48mg sodium
11/2 tsp. paprika 1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
Bacon & Green
Bean Bundles 1/2 tsp. black pepper MAKE IT

Active time 15 minutes 3 Tbs. unsalted butter, 1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
Total time 35 minutes melted Lightly coat a 7x11-in.
Makes 6 servings baking pan with cooking
MAKE IT spray. Whisk cocoa, flour,
INGREDIENTS baking soda, and 1/2 tsp.
3 bacon slices 1. Preheat oven to 450°F. salt in a large bowl until
12 oz. green beans or Set an ovenproof wire rack combined. Whisk melted
haricots verts, trimmed inside a large rimmed butter, 11/2 cups sugar,
1 Tbs. canola oil baking sheet. Pat turkey 1 cup pumpkin, 1 tsp. vanilla,
1/2 tsp. kosher salt drumsticks dry using paper and 3 eggs in a medium
1/4 tsp. black pepper towels. Arrange evenly on bowl until smooth. Add to
Wooden toothpicks the prepared baking sheet. cocoa mixture, stirring
1 Tbs. pure maple until just combined. Add
syrup 2. Combine salt, garlic chocolate chips, and stir
powder, thyme, rosemary, until evenly incorporated.
MAKE IT: paprika, and pepper in a Pour batter into prepared
small bowl. Brush drumsticks baking pan. Set aside.
1. Preheat oven to 425°F. with melted butter, and rub
Line a large rimmed baking all over with salt mixture. 2. Place cream cheese,
sheet with aluminum foil and cinnamon, nutmeg, and
set aside. Cook bacon in 3. Roast until golden brown, remaining 1/8 tsp. salt, 1/4 cup
a large skillet over medium about 20 minutes. Cover sugar, 2/3 cup pumpkin,
heat, turning occasionally, loosely with aluminum foil; 1/2 tsp. vanilla, and 1 egg in a
until bacon is cooked continue roasting until a medium bowl. Beat with an
about halfway through, 7 to thermometer inserted into electric mixer on medium
8 minutes. Drain on a plate thickest portion of meat speed until smooth, about
lined with paper towels. Let registers 165°F, 15 to 2 minutes. Pour over
cool for at least 1 minute. 20 minutes. Remove from brownie batter, spreading
Using kitchen shears, cut oven; let rest 10 minutes. into an even layer.
each slice in half crosswise.
NUTRITION PER SERVING 3. Bake 10 minutes.
2. Toss green beans, oil, 318 calories; 44g protein; Carefully remove from
salt, and pepper in a 14g fat (6g sat. fat); 1g carbs; oven. Using a rubber spatula,
large bowl until fully 1g fiber; 0 sugar; 5mg iron; gently fold cheesecake
coated. Divide evenly into 48mg calcium; 684mg sodium layer and brownie layer
6 bundles (8 to 10 green together to swirl. Continue
beans each). Wrap 1 bacon Pumpkin baking at 350°F until a
Cheesecake Swirl wooden toothpick inserted
Brownies into center comes out clean,
35 to 40 minutes. Transfer
Active time 10 minutes baking pan to a wire rack;
Total time 1 hour 15 minutes let brownies cool, about
Makes 12 servings 15 minutes. Cut into 12 pieces.

NUTRITION PER SERVING
366 calories; 5g protein; 19g
fat (11g sat. fat); 46g carbs;
3g fiber; 36g sugar; 3mg iron;
46mg calcium; 213mg sodium

14 8P A R E N T S NOVEMBER 2020

we give thanks for
everyone & every bite.

LIFEÑ Crafts

HOMEMADE WITH LOVE

If your kid wants to go above and beyond the usual card or drawing to
show they care, here are amazing gifts they can DIY and give to a teacher,

a babysitter, or anyone else who deserves a shout-out this year.

crafts by J O D I LE VI N E / photographs by J O H N N Y M I LLE R

Color-Blocked

Vases

Transform glass jars that would
otherwise head to the recycling
bin with bold pops of color.

SUPPLIES

Multisurface acrylic craft paint

Paintbrush

Clean recycled glass jars

Masking tape (optional)

Paper plate

Pencil with an unused eraser
(optional, for small dots)

Round foam brush (optional,
for large dots)

Paint a solid base on each jar (for
a neat painted edge, tape off an
area on the jar first). Let dry,
about 15 minutes. Layer another
coat, if you’d like a deeper shade,
and let dry. Paint on stripes or
dots (for dots, brush a bit of paint
onto a paper plate and use a
pencil eraser or a foam brush as
a stamp). To make item washable,
cure paint with heat or air-drying
per package instructions.

1 5 0P A R E N T S NOVEMBER 2020

Zero sewing is
required to

create these handy
little holders.

Cheery Cord

Keepers

Helpful to pretty much anyone,
these felt foldovers will adorably
contain any wire jumble of
earbuds or chargers (and make
them easy to spot in a bag too).

SUPPLIES

Template (download at
parents.com/cordcrafts)

Felt

Disappearing-ink marker
or pencil

Scissors

Pinking shears (optional)

Velcro dots

Hot glue

White clear-drying glue

Buttons (optional)

Trace template onto felt with a
disappearing-ink marker or pencil.
Cut out shapes (use pinking
shears if you’d like zigzag edges).
Fold as indicated on the template.
Stick Velcro dots to the underside
of the felt at the top and bottom,
reinforcing the adhesive under
the Velcro dots with a little bit of
hot glue. Cut facial features (ears,
eyes, nose, tongue) or stripes
out of felt and use white glue to
adhere them. Then hot-glue
on decorative buttons, if using.

LIFEÑ Crafts Shining Lights

You can decorate Truly illuminating: A dollar-store
with any shape, pillar candle goes from basic to
brilliant with colorful tissue paper
from simple and a blast of hot air.
ones like triangles
SUPPLIES
or circles to
flower petals. Scissors

Colored tissue paper

Plain pillar candle

Wax paper

Hair dryer

Cut shapes out of tissue paper.
Turn the candle on its side and
place some of the shapes on one
side of the candle. Lay a piece of
wax paper over the candle and
heat with a hair dryer on high
to melt the tissue-paper shapes
onto the candle (an adult should
handle this job). Gently lift off
the wax paper. Repeat on the
other side of the candle.

1 5 2P A R E N T S NOVEMBER 2020

©2020 Mars or A liates.

LIFE— Crafts

Stenciled Bags shiny side down on the bag PROP STYLING BY RANDI BROOKMAN HARRIS.
where you want your stencil to
Let kids make their mark (polka go. Press the paper with a dry
dots, hearts, the recipient’s iron on high (an adult should
monogram) on plain bags, handle this part) until it adheres
then fill them with a little treat to the fabric, about 5 seconds.
like colorful pencils or crystals. Squeeze a little paint onto a
paper plate and spread it into
SUPPLIES a thin layer with the stencil
brush. Gently coat brush with
Scrap cardboard paint, then dab it onto the fabric
through the opening of the
Blank canvas bags or stencil. Immediately after you’ve
pencil cases finished painting, peel off the
stencil and discard. Let dry.
Scissors

Freezer paper

Craft punch (optional)

Iron and ironing board

Acrylic craft paint

Paper plate

Stencil brush

Slide a piece of cardboard inside
a bag. Cut freezer paper so that
it is the same size as your bag.
Create your stencil: Draw a shape
on the matte side of the freezer
paper and cut it out, or punch
shapes into it using a craft punch
(as we did to make the dots and
the heart). Place freezer paper

1 5 4P A R E N T S NOVEMBER 2020

*

Salted Caramel Cocoa
Combine Tbsp. Torani
Puremade Dark Chocolate
Sauce, Tbsp. Torani Salted
Caramel Syrup, and cup
steamed milk of choice.

Chocolate Martini
Shake Tbsp. Torani Puremade Dark Chocolate
Sauce, ¼ cup half and half and shot of vodka in
cocktail shaker. Pour in chilled martini glass and
sprinkle with shaved chocolate.

Peppermint Mocha
Stir Tbsp. Torani Puremade Dark Chocolate Sauce,
½ crushed candy cane, ½ cup milk of choice and
½ cup coffee with a candy cane. Top with crushed
candy cane and marshmallows.

Chocolatey Chai Tea

Heat Tbsp. Torani Puremade Dark Chocolate
Sauce, ¹₂ cup water, ¹₂ cup almond milk, and
chai black tea bag together until boiled and
Iced Turtle Latte steep for minutes.
Mix Tbsp. Torani Puremade Dark Chocolate
Sauce, Tbsp. Torani Caramel Sauce, shots
chilled espresso with cup milk in a glass filled
with ice. Top with whipped cream, more sauce and
toffee bits.

N t ral am z n

Made with no artificial colors, flavors or preservatives

Available at your local grocer or Supercenter.

Discover easy Torani recipes at www.torani.com. © 2020 Torani/R. Torre & Company

*Awarded to brands that surpass quality standards
established by independent professional chefs.

LIFEÑMoney

You can make
this a holiday
they’ll remember
and still stick
to your spending

goals.

IN A YE AR like 2020, it’s
tempting to view the
holidays as one last chance
to make up for all that we
haven’t been able to do. But
as grown-ups, it’s on us to
deliver seasonal magic (and,
of course, fun presents)
without blowing our budget.
These four steps will set you
up for celebrating a December
full of joy while avoiding a
January financial hangover.

A Money Plan for the Holidays Spend Thoughtfully BONNINSTUDIO/STOCKSY.
Good news: We’re looking
Strategize now for a merry season full of meaningful gifts at a shopper-friendly season,
and celebration—with no regrets later. so no need to focus all your
energy on Black Friday
by A R I E L FOX M A N sales at midnight. Megastores
like Best Buy, Target, and
Walmart will be closed on
Thanksgiving itself and
offering ongoing sales
(instead of doorbuster deals)
both in brick-and-mortar
stores and online.

But first, you’ll want to
get on the same page as
your partner about spending.
“You both want the kids
to have a great holiday,” says
Tiffany Aliche, financial
educator and founder
of The Budgetnista. “Figure
out what each parent feels
comfortable spending and
negotiate. Meet somewhere
in the middle.” Aliche
suggests putting the holiday
pot in an online savings
account you both see, keeping
credit cards out of it, if
possible. Your plan will keep
you spending sensibly.

“Kids, at the end of the day,
just want to be around us,”

1 5 6P A R E N T S NOVEMBER 2020

Time to
upgrade
from a wall
to a yard.

Months of downtime and soul-searching have inspired a lot of things. From a new lease on
life to a new home mortgage. And this is the bank that can help you do it all – because we’re
dedicated to turning your new inspiration into your next pursuit.

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LIFEÑMoney

BONNINSTUDIO/STOCKSY. says Kristin O’Keeffe to talk about spending limits “We give one small gift each and neighbors to your list
Merrick, a financial advisor with kids, but saying the night of Hanukkah with a (while making clear that you
and mother of two based in words out loud actually bigger gift at the end, so we’ve expect nothing in return).
New Jersey, who jokes that makes the concept feel less set a spending limit,” Schosid Enlist your kids to help
she’s spent “150,000 percent” scary,” Dr. Dunnigan says. It says. She feels lucky that her pick out presents for Toys for
more time with her children opens the door for kids to extended family does a gift Tots and similar charities,
this year than in any other. express their desires and for exchange where everyone letting them start to
So now might also be the time you to set expectations. buys one present, with a understand generosity and the
to discuss whether a family spending cap. This year, the real meaning of the season.
gift like an online cooking Map Out the Gifts exchange will be via Zoom,
class you all do together could Some parents like organizing and each family member will As for cash tips, prioritize
be fun and is within budget. their lists for kids around mail their gift to the relative the people who have
this classic motto: “Something who ultimately receives it. heroically stepped up this
Get the Kids’ Wish Lists they want, something they year, like a home-health aide
Choose what you like if need, something to wear, and As you shop for family, who took care of an older
you’ve got babies or toddlers. something to read.” It’s stood look to apps and sites like relative or a sitter who made
Kids who are age 3 or younger the test of time as a guide to RetailMeNot.com for remote learning work in your
have zero expectations, and keep adults from overbuying coupons, and to tools such as house. Then don’t forget
everything is new for them. and to help kids focus their Facebook Marketplace for heartfelt cards and drawings
But if your kid is old enough requests. But even if you thrift scores on jokey items by your kids for other folks
to write to Santa and you may don’t follow it exactly, it’s a like crazy Christmas you appreciate. Says Aliche,
need to scale back this year, practical starting point. sweaters. For a fun way to “It’s a perfect time to wish
Sara Dunnigan, Psy.D., a keep track of your gift list, everyone a happy New Year.”
clinician in the Bay Area (and Amanda Schosid, a mom try the app Santa’s Bag.
a new mom) who specializes of two in Westchester, Find the Joy
in family dynamics, advises New York, celebrates both And if your family finances Seasonal experiences can
spelling things out explicitly Christmas and Hanukkah, so haven’t been negatively also give everyone a lift.
but creatively. She suggests she’s already begun to plan. impacted this year, consider Remember when the Grinch
a script like this: “So this year, adding new relatives, friends, tries to stop Christmas by
Santa wants to make sure taking all the packages, and
that he, his elves, and his it comes anyway in the form
reindeer stay supersafe of caroling and togetherness?
and healthy. That means he
will probably be in his Many zoos and parks
workshop less and won’t be will continue to have holiday
able to travel as much.” light shows. Be mindful
of capacity rules and book
If you’re taking extra care tickets ahead of time. At
to avoid spending money on home, invent new traditions.
something the kids don’t “Make colored popcorn
want, you could also specify garlands and string them
that Santa wants to know everywhere,” Dr. Dunnigan
each child’s top gifts. Try suggests. Play holiday
going through a website or a music and watch seasonal
catalog together so your shows. Invite an Elf on
child can rank their wishes the Shelf into your house
(and practice the life skill (and find a zillion setup
of prioritizing wants). ideas on Pinterest).

Older kids have probably Finally, think about a
picked up on Santa not being present to your future
at the mall and are likely selves, Merrick suggests,
aware already of any penny- like a little money in a
pinching you’ve been doing 529 college-savings plan.
as a family, so honesty is the You can’t erase every
best policy with them. disappointment of 2020, but
They’ll get that you want to by not traveling or going to
make any gifts you buy really loads of parties this year, you
count. “Parents are afraid can make a deposit toward
better times.

1 6 1P A R E N T S NOVEMBER 2020

LIFEÑPet Care

Foster a Pet, Nurture Your Kids

You don’t have to offer a fur-ever home. Briefly
taking in a rescue cat or dog can teach your children life lessons

that will last for the long haul.

by DA N I E LLE B R A F F

FOSTE RING an animal is like a practice foster homes more than ever. But beyond Chicago, a no-kill shelter in Chicago. So LIZ SALLEE BAUER/OFFSET.
run for pet ownership and the good what a family can do for a pet, foster let a dog explore the house leashed, and,
feels it entails—and not just for the homes can also benefit the kids in them, conversely, keep a cat in one room so as
humans. A study last year found that teaching empathy, trust, and more. not to overwhelm it. Warn kids, too, not
shelter dogs’ stress levels dropped as to put their face near an animal’s, initially,
soon as they stepped into temporary Safety first, and patience. That’s and teach them basic pet body language;
homes. While pandemic pets have one lesson kids learn up front, and it for example, be wary of a cat whose ears
been all the rage, there’s also growing includes preparing them not to expect are back. If a pet appears aggressive
concern that owners facing financial snuggles from a foster right away. When (growling, hissing), it may not be a fit.
hardship due to COVID-19 could give an animal arrives, it’ll need space to
up animals in large numbers. That’s decompress, explains Paula Fasseas, Kindness changes lives. Many
one reason shelters may need to lean on founder and executive chair of PAWS rescue pets have had a rough past; they

1 6 2P A R E N T S NOVEMBER 2020



LIFEÑPet Care

HIGH-PROTEIN M E AT-R ICH may have been sick, abandoned, or Dr. McGowan says. The experience
abused. By offering love, humans can can teach a child a great deal of empathy.
Meat-Rich help them start to feel comfortable and After all, they care for a pet in need,
Wet Food for content. In fact, socializing animals to then give it up to help another family.
Your Dog’s make them more adoptable is one big Loulie Scharf, an animal activist and
way interim families help. “I like artist in Wilmington, North Carolina,
Wild Side seeing how dogs get more friendly and has noticed one profound effect
happy as the weeks go by,” says Bella fostering has had on her kids: “They’ve
• High-quality meat is Jade Newton, a 7-year-old in Columbus, learned to stand up and care for those
the first ingredient Ohio, whose family fosters. Going slowly without a voice,” she says. Still, parents
and offering treats, she says, helps may worry about the emotional toll
• Protein-rich formulas build trust. Such patience during this of saying goodbye. “Fostering is an
support each life stage adjustment period is crucial for extremely valuable lesson in love,
and breed-size need rescues, experts say. “Some pets may letting go, and understanding what’s
need training and consistent routines involved in helping an animal,” says
to thrive,” says Ragen McGowan, Ph.D., Kitty Block, president and CEO of the
a pet-behavior scientist at Purina. Humane Society of the United States.
That’s been the case for Anna Verlotta,
Rewards take work. “Fostering a 10-year-old in Duluth, Georgia, who
is a great way for families to bond and has helped foster dogs since 2018. “It’s
experience the responsibility of having always sad to see them leave, but it’s
a pet,” Fasseas says. There are literal kind of happy because you know they’re
warm-and-fuzzy moments, yes, but going to get a home.”
there are daily chores too. Roshni
Ricchetti, who fosters kittens in River Fostering 101
Forest, Illinois, admits that pet care is
not always an easy task, even with help In general, here’s how to get started
from her 8-year-old. A recent foster of and what’s involved.
three kittens has meant “a lot of litter-
box cleaning, and the kittens had Choose a reputable shelter.
health issues that required medication, The organization should display its
vet visits, and extra care,” she recalls.
That said, her daughter, Aria, feels that nonprofit status and tax info, and
kitty kisses make up for litter-box the fostering procedure should be
duties: “I like playing and cuddling
with them, especially if I’m angry clearly detailed on its website.
or need space or quiet time,” she says.
Be prepared for a virtual
You can’t help everyone, but interview and reference checks that
you can make a difference.
The sad truth is there will always be may include a call to your vet, if
tons of pets in need of homes. “You you have one. The adoption group
learn that you can’t keep every animal
that shows up on your doorstep,” will do their best to find a pet
says Sandy Hogan, who writes for the that suits your family’s needs.
blog Critters Aplenty, in Stamford,
Connecticut. “If you do the best you can Determine your time commitment.
for them while you have them, you can Foster stays can vary from days
hand them over to a new family with a to three months, depending on your
happy heart knowing they are going availability, the breed, the animal’s
to people who will love them,” she says. age, and the length of time it takes
the pet to be socialized and adjust.
Letting go isn’t easy. It’s
important to clearly communicate from When you bring your foster
the start that the arrangement is home, separate it from your other
temporary and your family’s job is to
help the pet get ready for a new home, pets, keeping dogs leashed. Give
them space and time to get to know

each other, but always be cautious.

Be available to meet potential
adopters, so expect your foster
coordinator to check in regularly.

Typically, you won’t be responsible
for paying the animal’s food
or vet bills, but check the financial
details with each specific shelter.

1 6 4P A R E N T S NOVEMBER 2020

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LIFEÑ Solutions

Go Ahead, Get Another

Spend less time frantically searching the house for that item you use
constantly by just getting two (or more) of it. Parents and

professional organizers say these things made their lives twice as
easy when they purchased them in multiples.

by S U SA N K LE I N M A N

Hairbrushes A second Measuring cups Kisco, New York, which BRITTANY AMBRIDGE/OTTO.
When Alexis Berkowitz, a changing station and spoons offers culinary classes for
professional organizer in With just one set, you end up kids. Plus, your little baker
Teaneck, New Jersey, got means a having to wash and dry is less likely to make a
tired of sending her three diaper is always between pouring the vanilla complete mess of the kitchen
daughters back upstairs to extract and scooping out the if you don’t have to turn your
brush their hair after within reach. baking powder and then again back for 30 seconds to wash
breakfast, she started to before adding the cinnamon. a dirty utensil.
keep spare styling supplies Remote controls With extra cups and spoons,
in the kitchen. “As each girl Phil Cala, a dad of four in you can bake without pausing Screwdrivers
comes downstairs, I put Washington, D.C., keeps and keep your kids from When his kids were young,
her hair into a ponytail,” an extra one for each smart losing interest, says Renana Steve Wechsler, a dad of
Berkowitz says. The result? TV in his home and says Shvil, owner of Fiddleheads two in White Plains, New
Smoother mornings with the duplicates save the day Cooking Studio, in Mount York, had a fully stocked
more time to eat. regularly when one toolbox in his basement and
conveniently gets misplaced stored a screwdriver in his
Diaper-changing spots right before his kids’ allotted bedroom for when his kids
A newborn can go through screen time. You can get accidentally—but surprisingly
a dozen diapers a day—that’s an Apple TV or Roku remote frequently—got locked in the
a lot of trips to the changing for less than $20 from bathroom at 3 a.m. Stash a
station. To make the task Amazon; universal remotes mini one on a high shelf in
more convenient, Emily go for around $10. the playroom and in the
Geisinger, a mom in Fort kitchen, too, so you can get
Leavenworth, Kansas, keeps a your toddler’s favorite toy
Pack ’n Play with a changing truck revved up again in
insert downstairs in addition no time when the batteries
to the table in her baby’s inevitably die.
second-floor bedroom. When
setting up another zone in Blankie (or Teddy
your home, spring for a or Lamby)
duplicate diaper pail along “We have three of my
with the rest of your supplies. daughter’s favorite stuffed
elephant,” says Danielle
Bandages Postel-Vinay, author of
Stash them anywhere you or Home Sweet Maison. “We
your kids are likely to get a cut keep one in her crib, one
or scrape: in the kitchen, near downstairs near her high
your desk (paper cuts are the chair, and one in the car.”
worst), and in the bathroom. Which means Postel-Vinay
Tuck one or two bandages into will always have a spare
your wallet for those times should a lovey go missing.
when your kid gets a boo-boo To make sure the toys stay
at the park or your new shoes equally loved, she rotates
leave you with a blister. them from location to
location so that they all

1 6 6P A R E N T S NOVEMBER 2020

KUMACORE/GETTY. have the same smell and “I’ll be here walk, the last thing you want American Academy of
degree of wear and tear. if you ever get to do is track down everyone’s Ophthalmology. The same
sunnies. “Kids should start goes for your specs too.
Car seats and boosters lost!” wearing sunglasses in
When Grandma wants to take infancy; make sure their eyes Cleaning supplies
your kid to the park, a spare that I could keep one at are always protected by Store a full set of sprays,
car seat that you can pop home and one in the office.” keeping a set by the door and disinfectants, wipes,
right into her car (instead of Having a pump at each another in the car,” says and brushes in each of your
uninstalling and reinstalling location means one less thing Dianna Seldomridge, M.D., a bathrooms, says Julie
the one from your own) to remember—and 10 less clinical spokesperson for the Morgenstern, a professional
will mean more time spent pounds to carry. organizer and author of Time
on adventures and less on Sunglasses to Parent. “Instead of hauling
engineering. An extra booster When you’re trying to get out bottles and sponges from
seat in your trunk will also the door for a quick family room to room and making
make it possible for an older cleanup a big project, you can
cousin to enjoy an impromptu quickly wipe down each
playdate. bathroom when you have a
few minutes to spare.” (Just
Breast pumps make sure that all toxic
“When I was breastfeeding cleaning solutions are kept
my first child, I had one pump out of reach of young kids.)
that I lugged back and forth to Morgenstern is also a
work every day,” says Stacey big fan of stowing a vacuum
Guthartz Cohen, a mom of four cleaner on each level of a
in Fayetteville, North Carolina. multifloor house; it’s
“But I wised up with my “absolutely revolutionary,”
second kid and got another so she says.



ADVICE AS YOUR CHILD GROWS

PREGNANCY bed is only for sleep (and sex). Use pillows plan to help you snooze better. If
to make yourself more comfortable. If
HOW TO you’re experiencing acid reflux, prop up your legs cramp and ache or have other
your torso a bit so your esophagus is
Get a Good tilted downward. Pregnant women are unpleasant sensations, talk to your
Night’s Sleep advised to sleep on their side later in
pregnancy; you can buy a body-length doctor about treatments. Soon you will
by AVA B R A M S O N pillow to support your body, but standard
bed pillows may be more adjustable. Place experience the joy of meeting your
one between your bent knees, another
under your abdomen, and another against baby, which will energize you in a way
the small of your back to relieve lower-
back pain. you couldn’t have imagined.

Sources: Parents advisor Jodi Mindell, Ph.D.,
associate director of the Sleep Center at Children’s
Hospital of Philadelphia; Parents advisor Judith
Owens, M.D., director of the Center for Pediatric
Sleep Disorders at Boston Children’s Hospital
at Waltham and professor of neurology at Harvard
Medical School; Jeanette Samyn, Ph.D., a doula
at Brooklyn Birth Collective, in New York.

Consider what’s keeping you up. Ease your mind and body. 0–12 M O N T H S

It’s common to have insomnia and other Avoid looking at screens in the hours HOW TO
sleep problems during pregnancy, before bed; turn to books or board games
including rousing frequently in the middle for analog fun. Daily exercise makes Encourage
of the night (often to use the bathroom), you more tired at night, but don’t do a Crawling
having trouble nodding off again, rising vigorous workout within four hours
early, suffering from heartburn, and of bedtime. Calming nighttime routines by TA M E K I A R E E C E
experiencing restless legs syndrome. like journaling, taking a bath, doing
Sleep disruption can be caused by guided meditation, listening to relaxing Build those muscles.
fluctuating hormone and fluid levels; later, music, and getting a foot massage
the size of your abdomen makes it hard to from your partner will ready you for In order to crawl, your baby must be able
get comfortable. Stress can lead to sleep sleep. Although you should drink to hold themselves up and maintain
issues (you’ve got a lot on your mind!), and plenty of water during the day, limit it their balance using the muscles in their
exhaustion can make you more stressed. in the few hours before bed—and avoid stomach, neck, arms, back, and
caffeine after 3:00 p.m. A cup of herbal shoulders. Starting supervised tummy
Get your bedroom ready for rest. tea can be helpful, but remember to time during their first weeks of life
use the bathroom before you turn in. makes a difference. Put them on a blanket
Keep it dark, quiet, and cool. Don’t hang or a playmat on the floor for three to
out in bed; train your brain to know that Know when to talk to a doctor. five minutes two or three times a day.
Place a toy just out of their grasp, or try
Get More Insufficient sleep during pregnancy to get them to reach for you. Whenever
Age-Specific Tips is often considered a nuisance that must they lift their head, look to the side, or
be tolerated, but you should seek help
Simply hover your if it’s stressful or it interferes with your
phone’s camera over daily life. Your doctor can discuss
the smart code to with you the possible reasons for your
subscribe to our daily sleeping difficulties and develop a
newsletter.

illustration by RO B I N RO S E NTHAL 1 6 9P A R E N T S NOVEMBER 2020

AGES + STAGES

kick, they’re developing strength in their there’s no reason to rush it. Don’t nudge 3–4 YEARS
upper body, core, and legs. As their muscles them out to free up the crib for a new
grow, steadily increase tummy time to a sibling; they’ll already have to deal with HOW TO
total of 40 to 60 minutes each day. lots of emotions when the baby arrives.
If you decide to transition them while Stop Hitting
Voice any concerns. you’re pregnant, do it at least two and Biting
months before your due date so they
Talk to your child’s pediatrician if your have plenty of time to adjust. by TA R A LU S T B E R G
baby has not shown signs of mobility
(such as scooting) by their first birthday, Be sure your house has been Understand what triggers
or if they crawl with asymmetric truly childproofed. the behavior.
movements (like dragging their right
leg). Otherwise, their style of crawling, Since your toddler will be able to slip out When your preschooler hits or bites, it’s
or lack thereof, is likely fine. They may of bed and roam around the house, do usually not because they’re aggressive;
not be interested in crawling because a safety sweep of every room they can it’s just an impulse. They’re upset,
they’re focused on building other skills, access. Secure the stairs with gates at frustrated, overexcited, or having trouble
such as babbling. Some infants even the top and bottom, bolt bookshelves and communicating their feelings. Most
skip crawling and go straight to cruising. televisions to the wall, and put safety kids can’t grasp their own strength or
Be patient; your baby will find a way latches on dresser drawers so they can’t the consequences of their actions, but
to get around when they’re ready. pull them out and use them to climb. they know that they’ll get an immediate
Some experts suggest putting a gate on reaction by using physical force—on
Sources: Joseph F. Hagan Jr., M.D., clinical professor your child’s door or locking it, but another child, a sibling, or you. Now that
of pediatrics at The University of Vermont Larner you have to think about fire safety. As an stay-at-home orders are being lifted,
College of Medicine, in Burlington; Elisha McCoy, M.D., alternative, attach bells to the door to children are still acclimating to new
associate professor of internal medicine and alert you when they’re leaving the room. environments, routines, people, and rules
pediatrics at Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital, in Memphis. at preschool or day care. Even if they were
Consider in-between options. in the same setting prior to quarantine,
1–2 YEARS some kids will need time to relearn social
If you have a convertible crib, that’s behaviors. There will inevitably be
HOW TO probably the easiest next step. Otherwise, some ups and downs in their conduct, and
you could place your crib mattress on hopefully teachers will understand that.
Switch From the floor and add bolster-style rails to help
Crib to Bed your child feel secure. You can also buy Keep your cool.
a toddler bed or move straight to a regular
by R E B E C CA F E L S E N T H A L S T E WA R T bed—ideally, one that’s less than 3 feet When you witness your child hitting
off the ground—and install guardrails. or biting another child, your first
Realize there’s no one right age. Involving your child in the process will instinct may be to yell, “Tell so-and-so
help get them excited about the change. you’re sorry!” Instead, calmly remove
The process of transitioning to a big-kid your child from the situation and say,
bed is unique for every child. While some Be prepared for snafus. “We don’t hit” or “Biting hurts,” but
kids switch as early as 18 months, you’ll keep it brief. Then take a few minutes to
need to factor in your child’s physical and Your child might cry and insist they allow your child to settle down, and
emotional development, as well as how want their crib back. Stay positive and stay at a safe distance without giving them
attached they are to their crib. The most expect it to take a month or two for them much attention. Afterward, praise
important sign that your toddler is ready to fully adjust to their new digs. Their them for the first good thing they do, no
to graduate from his crib: They try to climb newfound freedom may also lead them matter how small. That will retrain
out. But if the mattress is on the lowest to take lots of excursions. (You put your your child to think, “I didn’t get a lot of
setting and their chest reaches the top of child to bed and they come out. You put attention for doing this bad thing, but
the rail when they’re standing, don’t wait them back in bed and they come back now I did this good thing and look at all
for an actual attempt. They can probably out.) Just calmly return them to bed and the attention I’m getting.”
hurdle over the side, and it’s wise to get leave the room as quickly as you can.
them out before they take a tumble. Since there’s a chance they can’t quite Talk about what happened.
handle a big bed yet, it’s a good idea
Consider how they feel. to hang on to the crib. Toddlers mature Once your child is calm, kneel down to
quickly, and your child might be ready their level to encourage them to use
Your child may ask for a big-kid bed so in another month or two. Be patient, and
they can be like a cousin or a friend, but don’t rush this important transition.

Sources: Parents advisor David L. Hill, M.D., author
of Dad to Dad: Parenting Like a Pro; Elizabeth Pantley,
author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers
and Preschoolers.

1 70P A R E N T S NOVEMBER 2020

THE MORE YOU UNDERSTAND
HER WORLD, THE MORE
POSSIBILITIES YOU SEE.

For Julia’s family, early screening for
autism made a lifetime of di erence.
Find out more at ScreenForAutism.org

© 2019 Sesame Workshop. All rights reserved.

AGES + STAGES

their words when they get frustrated. 5–6 YEARS changing their preferences and actions
Give examples of what they should do, based on this gender-consistent
not just what they shouldn’t do. You HOW TO information. Seeing both parents taking
might say, “Next time, what can you do on a variety of roles at home gives
when someone takes your toy? Can you Prevent kids permission to do the same, and
tell a grown-up? We shouldn’t hit or bite Gender Bias pointing out atypical gender behavior
because that really hurts, so now we models, such as female firefighters or
should go back and say we’re sorry.” by S H A N N O N M . B AU E R male nurses, shows that women and
men can do anything.
Consistency is key. Know that this is the perfect time.
Pay attention to play.
If you react the same way each time, Children start picking up on gender roles
the behavior will eventually change. Make by age 2, and their biases are more This is the most obvious way that kids
sure your partner as well as preschool established by age 8, but kids ages 5 and this age demonstrate gender stereotypes.
teachers, babysitters, and grandparents 6 are still flexible in their thinking Ask your child about their favorite toys:
are all on the same page. If preschool and can take in new ideas and attitudes. “Why do you like playing with trucks?
teachers are giving only negative attention, Gender bias is subtle, and it may be Have you ever thought about playing
but at home you child is doing the same related to the roles kids see their parents with dolls?”If the response is “Because
thing with a sibling and is not getting that take, what their friends play with, the they’re boy toys,” help them see past a
negative attention, they’ll get mixed images reflected on toy packaging, and girl on doll packaging or a boy on the box
messages and it will prolong the issue. the story lines of books and TV shows. of cars, and select toys, books, and
Contact a pediatrician if you believe the Children notice these behaviors and begin media that appeal to them regardless
behavior is a sign of a developmental delay. of marketing.

Sources: Tamar Nazerian Chorbadjian, D.O., a Encourage a range of entertainment.
developmental-behavioral pediatrician in
Baldwin Park, California; Katherine Trier,M.D., When parents are conscious about
a developmental-behavioral pediatrician getting the same toys for all children,
in Cohasset, Massachusetts.

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AGES + STAGES

you’ll often see girls who love dinosaurs the circle: the teacher they were assigned, decide how much time your child is allowed
or boys who go into the play kitchen at the class rules. If your child decides to use devices, which hours during the
school and begin making something. to communicate with their teacher, day are okay, and which are off-limits. You
Your goal shouldn’t be to avoid all “girl or encourage them to be respectful and may want to offer bonus screen time as a
boy” things, but by allowing your child to use “I” statements: “I feel sad because way to encourage certain behavior, like
to explore all their interests, they’ll feel you don’t call on me in class.” Rather getting their homework done without
comfortable with who they are. than letting your child focus on what they being nudged. Have basic guidelines you
see as negatives about their teacher, try want to stick to, but let your child give
Sources: Roberta L. Schomberg, Ph.D., executive to get them to notice some of the positives. some input too.
director of the Fred Rogers Center for Early Learning Ask questions such as, “What do you
and Children’s Media at Saint Vincent College like about being in Mr. Taylor’s class?” or Get it in writing.
and consultant to Fred Rogers Productions; Ross A. “What’s the most interesting thing you
Thompson, Ph.D., distinguished professor of learned this week?” Create a technology contract that clearly
psychology at University of California and PBS KIDS states the rules of screen-time use for
curriculum advisor for social and emotional Schedule a meeting. your child. You may want to include time
learning and social studies; Dana Winters, Ph.D., limits, locations your child can’t use
assistant professor of child and family studies If the problem seems to be more than screens, where phones will charge at night
at the Fred Rogers Center for Early Learning and just a clash of personalities, arrange for a (not in their bedroom), activities
Children’s Media at Saint Vincent College. meeting between you, your child, and the that aren’t allowed (like violent games
teacher. Don’t go into it with an accusatory or certain social-media platforms), and
7–9 YEARS tone. Instead, explain that there seems the consequences of breaking the rules.
to be an issue and ask what you and your You should all sign it, and then you
HOW TO child can do to help your kid have the can put it somewhere visible to remind
best year possible. Hopefully, you all will be your child of the agreement.
Deal With a able to come up with a plan for success.
Disliked Teacher Your child will have many teachers during Set a good example.
their school years and will need to
by TA M E K I A R E E C E learn how to get along with different types Although you may be spending more
of personalities. time with screens lately, too, try to
Find out why. maintain some kind of work-life balance
Source: Sarah Kirk, a school counselor at so you aren’t on a device for most of the
If your kid complains that they don’t Kendall-Whittier Elementary School, in Tulsa, day. Make time to do things you enjoy,
like their teacher, ask open-ended and a board member of the American School such as reading or doing DIY projects.
questions to see why they’re feeling that Counselor Association. Encourage screen-free family activities,
way. Sometimes “I don’t like my like playing board games, going for a
teacher” can mean your child had a bad 10–12 YEARS walk, or telling funny stories. Also, follow
day, they’re nervous about school, or your own rules: No using devices at
they miss their old teacher. But it can HOW TO certain places or times, such as while
truly mean what your kid told you in you’re driving, at dinner, or in the
the first place: Even if school is remote, Avoid Screen- hour before bedtime, and avoid checking
they might not vibe with the teacher. Time Struggles your phone during conversations.
Listen to their concerns and be empathetic.
That way, your child feels heard, but by TA M E K I A R E E C E Source: Corinn Cross, M.D., a pediatrician in
you’re not pointing the finger at the teacher Los Angeles and spokesperson for the American
or immediately trying to request a Work together. Academy of Pediatrics.
change of classroom.
With remote learning, your kid has Send Us Your
Think of ways to problem-solve. probably logged more time in front of a Kid Quotes!
screen than ever before, but they’ll still
Help your child come up with things they want “fun” screen time to play games or BEST OF GIGGLES PROMOTION, PAGE 176
can do to make the issue better, like the stay in touch with friends. That said, NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO PARTICIPATE.
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the circle, list things they can do about the make sure device use doesn’t get out of address, phone number, and your
situation: Listen more in class, or write control. Sit down and come up with a eligible child’s name and date of birth.
a note to their teacher about the situation screen-time plan as a family. Discuss and Subject to Terms and Conditions at
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Redford, 2

We have been teaching our kids about Owen, 5 ILLUSTRATIONS BY ELISE GRAVEL.
what it means to feel hungry or full while PARENTS (ISSN 1083-6373); November 2020, Vol. 95, No. 11, is published monthly by Meredith Corporation, 1716 Locust Street, Des Moines, IA 50309-3023. Periodicals postage paid at Des Moines, IA, and at additional mailing offices. Subscription prices, $15.98 per year in the
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eating. One time, our son looked down Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No. 40069223; Canadian BN 12348 2887 RT. © Meredith Corporation 2020. All rights reserved. Your bank may provide updates to the card information we have on file. You may opt out of this service at any time. Printed in the U.S.A.
at his stomach and said, “My tummy feels

like ... it wants to go outside and play.”

Lorin Fairweather When I was
Columbia, SC 8 months

April, 5 Stori, 6 pregnant with
his little
When I asked I stopped
my daughter to shaving my legs sister, Riley,
clean her room, my son
she suggested, as often
“How about you while working came running
up to me
clean it and from home.
just say it was One day, my and said, “Mom,
daughter noticed open your
yours?”
and said, mouth. I want to
Joanna Davis “Mom! Your legs tell Riley
Dacula, GA
are covered something!”
Got a Funny in splinters!”
Kid Quote to Share? Jen Amis
Courtney Cooper Montrose, CO
Simply hover your phone’s Chapin, SC
camera over the smart Liam, 5
code for a chance to be Piper, 7
featured. Or email My grandson
asked his mom My daughter came home from school
[email protected]. with colored marker all
See the abbreviated why she was
terms on page 174. so excited that over her body. I asked her what
happened, and she said,
he had lost
his first baby “I’m too creative to be controlled.”
tooth. She told
Sarah York
him it was Tulsa, OK
because he was
growing up so
fast. Liam hugged

her and said
matter-of-factly,

“I have to get
a job, don’t I?”

Linda O’Connell
St. Louis, MO

1 76P A R E N T S NOVEMBER 2020

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