question, right?
21 A Final Example from Everyday Life Perhaps the Most Enlightening Team Project in the History of the World Okay, my friend—it’s time to summarize all of this. To do that, I’d like to tell you about a fascinating experience I had a few years ago. I was leading a conference, and I got it into my head to do an experiment with a group of managers who were working at a telecom company. The participants were professional and clever, and all of them were successful in their respective fields. They had excellent qualifications and were destined for brilliant careers. I’d already made profiles for all of them—they had completed a self-assessment that showed which communication style they had. I divided the managers into groups with similar behavior profiles. I imagined that it would be easy for them to get along. They’d certainly understand one another. There were twenty people in total. I called the groups Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue. I mean I had to call them something. They had to solve a specially constructed problem that was connected to their field and required cooperation. They were given an hour to complete it. I explained the challenge and all the groups eagerly accepted the instructions and got to work. After the groups had been working for a while, I went around and checked out what was going on in the various teams. In the Red Group, the noise level was high. Three people were standing and loudly explaining why they were right. Two of them
were in the middle of an argument, while the final person had decided to work alone. Completely unconcerned about the shouting match three feet away, he was writing so fast that his pen was starting to spark. When I asked if everything was okay in there, everything suddenly stopped and all of them looked at me in surprise. “Is everything okay?” I repeated anxiously. “Peachy!” one of the belligerent guys said grimly. “We’re almost done here.” I left them and continued on. The Yellow Group was also working frantically. You could almost taste the energy in the room. Things were happening! The discussions were lively, with everyone trying to convince the others of their own position. While the Reds were mad as hell with one another, there was nothing but smiles here. Three of the Yellows were jockeying for space at the whiteboard, and another told me an amusing anecdote that had nothing to do with the subject at hand (but it was actually hilarious). The fifth manager in the Yellow Group was doodling on a piece of paper and sending emails on his cell phone. I left them to pay a visit to the Green Group. Inside the room, there was a strange calmness. Their voices were quiet, and they were all listening rather than speaking. The chief goal was stability and security. Five of the managers were sitting quietly, listening to one of their colleagues telling a sad story about his dog who had tragically died of old age that same winter. He was still missing his life companion. The last manager had sketched out some suggestions about how they could solve the task I’d given them, but every suggestion ended with a question mark. She needed more input, and it looked like she would have to ask for it. She was in trouble. I continued on. In the last group, the Blue Group, the room was almost absurdly quiet. After sitting with them for three minutes without anyone uttering so much as a single word, I was seriously
concerned. A lot of thought was happening under the surface, but there was no real communication taking place. A woman was reading silently through the task with her lips moving. I asked if they needed help to get started. I got a few hesitant nods in reply. They soon began a very thorough deliberation. They would absolutely get to the bottom of things. It was obvious that they were on the right track, but on an extremely detailed level. They discussed for a long time what their plan of action should be. I remember glancing furtively at the clock. Half the allotted time had passed, but they hadn’t produced anything concrete. Proposals had been put forward, but they’d been rejected by the others on a variety of technicalities. Every word was chosen carefully and the advantages and disadvantages weighed carefully. They were far more interested in doing things properly than in actually getting things done. I left them to their fate and went back to the large conference room. Before the allotted time was up, the Red Group arrived with triumphant grins. They congratulated one another for being the first back. They’d clearly won the test. I had to go and fetch all the other groups. The Yellow Group was the slowest. I had to go back twice before they deigned to make an appearance. Two of them were talking on their phones, and the third guy only managed to recover after having some coffee and cake. When all the groups had returned, I let them present their work. The Red Group went triumphantly to the podium. They’d turned the task into a race. They were ready in thirty minutes, even though they had been given an hour. The rest of the time they’d spent phoning around to their coworkers, checking what they were doing with their time. It was a sound presentation, a well-organized structure, and properly thought out. But about thirty seconds into the report, it was clear that the Red Group had solved a completely
different problem than what I’d given them. It wasn’t at all what I had asked for. When I asked if they had actually read the instructions, they all began arguing. One of the men stated confidently that they’d adapted the task to reality. They’d done a brilliant job. He expected applause, but when the standing ovation didn’t materialize, the members of the group shrugged their shoulders and returned to their seats. A second after sitting down, the woman in the group began playing with her phone. A vital text message had to be sent immediately. After that, it was the Yellow Group’s turn. This group consisted of three women and two men. All of them smiled and stood at the front. Who should begin? A brief deliberation took place before one of the women charmed her way to the podium. She quickly plunged into her topic, presenting the exciting discussions they’d had for the past hour. She spoke for a while about the whole thing being an inspirational exercise; she described how she was going to use the insights she’d gained when she returned to her work. Her presentation was very entertaining, and everyone laughed. I was also amused by the woman’s story, especially considering that it only had one purpose: to camouflage the fact that the group hadn’t solved the task. However, the Yellow Group did manage to get some applause, mostly due to the high entertainment value of their presentation. Now it was time for the Green Group. It took a while to get everyone up to the podium. While the Yellow Group had squabbled about who was going first, the Green Group was anxious. “Do all of us go up?” “Who should present the report? Should I?” “Shouldn’t you do it?” At least half of the six participants looked as if they had a stomachache. Sure, this was the largest group but, nevertheless, they were all nervous. No one took command. After a moment of low-key deliberations, one of the men began to speak. He faced the whiteboard most of the time. He talked softly, turning towards the members of his team for
support. He was so subtle in his observations that the message was hopelessly lost. With growing desperation, he looked at his team for help. When their presentation was over, not even the Green Group had solved the task, even though they had made more progress than the Yellow Group. I asked if everyone in the group was in agreement about the material that was presented. The unfortunate spokesperson said that he thought that it was probably true that most of them were relatively in agreement. I asked the group, and they all nodded in unison. At least four of the participants in the group had grim faces, their arms crossed tightly around their bodies—body language that proclaimed they were far from agreeing with what had been said. One of the women looked resentfully at the spokesperson. But, by Jove, she was in agreement. Finally, the Blue Group marched up in line and stood in alphabetical order, according to a prearranged agenda. Arne went through the instructions, revealing that there were several points that had made the task challenging. Among other things, he remarked on the sentence structure in the document that I had handed out—he spent most of the time explaining that it was better to say “advisor” rather than “adviser,” although both forms are technically correct— and pointed out no fewer than two additional grammatical errors, on the very first page. Then it was Berit’s turn to go through the structure they had based their work on, after being interrupted twice by Arne, who believed that a few minor details needed to be clarified. When Kjell took over, they still weren’t even close to providing a solution to the problem. Stefan didn’t straighten out any issues, and when Yolanda finally announced they needed more time to finish the task properly, chaos erupted in the conference room. The Red Group quickly branded the members of the Blue Group complete idiots, the Yellow Group felt it was the most boring thing they’d ever experienced, and the Green Group just suffered silently through the whole show.
Conclusions The purpose of the whole exercise was to highlight that no group should be composed solely of individuals of the same type. Diversity is the only possible route. The best way to put a group of people together is by mixing different types of people. This is the only way to achieve decent dynamics in any group. This seems intuitive, but despite this, most of the organizations I have encountered fail on this fundamental requirement when they recruit people. Managers bring in new people who are just like themselves because they understand each other. This book has been about explaining exactly why the groups in this example worked the way they did and giving you the tools to avoid similar problems in your own life. I hope that you found pleasure in reading it and joining in this exciting exploration of how people function, what makes them similar, and what makes them different. Because we are all different. If you keep your eyes open, you’ll find out exactly how different. The rest is up to you.
The Answers to the Questions in Chapter 20 1. Two Yellows 2. Green with anyone 3. Red 4. Blue 5. Yellow 6. Blue 7. Blue 8. Blue 9. Red 10. Yellow 11. Green 12. Yellow 13. Red 14. Yellow 15. Red 16. Red 17. A mixture of all the colors 18. Yellow 19. Red 20. Red 21. Green 22. Blue 23. To this there is no given answer, as you might understand.
Further Reading Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell. New York: Back Bay Books, 2007. Conversation Transformation: Recognize and Overcome the 6 Most Destructive Communication Patterns by Ben Benjamin, Amy Yeager, and Anita Simon. New York: McGraw-Hill Education, 2012. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman. New York: Bantam, 2005. Feel the Fear … and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. Numerous editions. Get Your Sh*t Together: How to Stop Worrying About What You Should Do So You Can Finish What You Need to Do and Start Doing What You Want to Do by Sarah Knight. New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2016. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. New York: Gallery Books, 2004. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Numerous editions. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini. New York: Harper Business, 2006. Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcom Gladwell. New York: Back Bay Books, 2011. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. New York: Broadway Books, 2013.
Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman. New York: Bantam, 2007. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey. Numerous editions. The 10 Dumbest Mistakes Smart People Make and How to Avoid Them: Simple and Sure Techniques for Gaining Greater Control of Your Life by Arthur Freeman. New York: William Morrow, 1993. The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg. New York: Random House, 2014. The Ten Types of Human: A New Understanding of Who We Are, and Who We Can Be by Dexter Dias. London: Random House UK, 2017. Types of Men by Eduard Spranger. Scottsdale, AZ: Target Training International, 2013.
Index The index that appeared in the print version of this title does not match the pages in your eBook. Please use the search function on your eReading device to search for terms of interest. For your reference, the terms that appear in the print index are listed below. A accuracy, Blues and activity, Marston’s model and adapting behavior when meeting Blues behavior when meeting Greens behavior when meeting Reds behavior when meeting Yellows to Blue behavior to Green behavior overview of to Red behavior to Yellow behavior aggression, Reds and air alcohol ambition, Reds and analytic ability anger. See also Temperament Reds and approachability, Yellows and assessment, quiz for attitudes and approaches, overview of Aztecs
B bad news. See Feedback balance, Greens and behavior. See also Core behavior causes of defined as toolbox when meeting Blues when meeting Greens when meeting Reds when meeting Yellows black bile blood blood pressure Blues accuracy and adapting to behavior when meeting body language of caution and combining with other colors control and criticism and decision-making and description of details and excuses and feelings and giving feedback to helping with stress as introverts intuition and lethargy and listening and logic and mistakes and modesty and overview of perception of by others perception of by self personal interaction and pessimism and preparation and
quality and realism and risks and rules and silence and speed and spontaneity and stress factors for stress responses of teamwork example and temperament of trust and body language of Blues gaze and of Greens hands and head and face and importance of overview of posture and of Reds territory and of Yellows Bonnstetter, Bill boredom, Yellows and bullying, Reds and C Carter, Jimmy caution, Blues and change Greens and Reds and Yellows and children, influences on choleric behavior Clark, Walter Clinton, Bill clutter, Yellows and combinations challenging of colors within individuals
complementary effective natural overview of problematic commitment, Greens and communication. See also Body language Blues and Greens and listeners and written Yellows and company parties competition, Reds and compliance. See also DISA conflict Greens and Reds and Yellows and control Blues and Reds and cooperation Greens and Reds and core behavior as natural condition origins of core values, overview of counterquestioning creativity, Yellows and criticism Blues and delivery of Greens and immunity to Reds and Yellows and curiosity, Yellows and D deception decision-making
Blues and Reds and Yellows and DeGeneres, Ellen details Blues and Reds and Yellows and diligence, Reds and DISA (Dominance, Inducement, Submission, Analytic ability) system language of overview of statistics on use of disorganization, Yellows and dominance. See also DISA E early adopters earth efficiency, Reds and egocentrism, Yellows and egotism Reds and Yellows and Einstein, Albert elements Elisabeth, feedback from emails emotional intelligence (EI) emotional quotient (EQ) Emotions of Normal People (Marston) empathy, Yellows and energy Reds and Yellows and engagement, Greens and enthusiasm, Reds and excitement, Yellows and exclusion, Reds and excuses, Blues and F face, body language and
fear, Greens and feedback. See also Criticism Blues and delivery of from Elisabeth Greens and from Håkan from Helena immunity to Reds and from Stefan Yellows and feelings, Blues and fire flattery, Yellows and focus, Yellows and fraud friendship Greens and Yellows and G Gandhi, Mahatma Gates, Bill gaze, body language and Gellberg, Sune genetic factors Greeks Greens adapting to behavior when meeting body language of change and collective good and combining with other colors commitment and communication and conflict and criticism and description of engagement and fear and friendship and
giving feedback to helping with stress as introverts kindness and leadership and listening and loose ends and mistakes and overview of passivity and perception of by others perception of by self predictability and relationships and reliability and repetition and responsibility and routine and security and speed and spotlight and stability and stress factors for stress responses of teamwork and teamwork example and temperament of thoughtfulness and tolerance and unknown and group dynamics, overview of gut feelings Blues and Yellows and H Håkan, feedback from hands, body language and handshakes head, body language and Helena, feedback from Hippocrates honesty, Reds and
humiliation, Yellows and humoral pathology I impatience, Reds and initiative, Reds and inspiration. See also DISA intellectual elasticity introverts Blues as Greens as intuition Blues and Yellows and invisibility, Yellows and isolation, Yellows and J Jobs, Steve Jung, Carl K kindness, Greens and L language. See also Body language learning leadership, Greens and learning overview of quiz for assessment of lethargy, Blues and Levit, Edouard liars lie detectors limitations, Reds and listening Blues and communication and Greens and Yellows and logic, Blues and loose ends, Greens and
M Marston, William Moulton martyr complex mistakes Blues and Greens and Reds and modesty, Blues and mucus N negative feedback. See Feedback normal behavior, overview of O Obama, Barack Obama, Michelle O’Connor, Sandra Day opinions, Reds and optimism Reds and Yellows and organization, Yellows and P passivity Greens and Marston’s model and perception of Blues by others of Blues by self of Greens by others of Greens by self of Reds by others of Reds by self of self by others of Yellows by others of Yellows by self perfect world personal space, body language and personal zone personality, behavior and persuasion, Yellows and pessimism
black bile and Blues and phlegm phlegmatic behavior pigeonholing pigheadedness popularity, Yellows and posture, body language and power, Reds and predictability Greens and Reds and Yellows and preparation, Blues and public speaking, Yellows and Q quality, Blues and quiz, for assessment of learning R realism Blues and Reds and Reds adapting to aggression and ambition and anger and behaving when meeting body language of bullying and change and combining with other colors competition and conflict and control and cooperation and criticism and decision-making and description of details and diligence and
efficiency and egotism and energy and enthusiasm and exclusion and giving feedback to helping with stress honesty and impatience and initiative and lack of limitations and limitations and mistakes and opinions and optimism and overview of perception of by others perception of by self power and realism and repetition and respect and risks and routine and rules and scapegoats and speed and stress factors for stress responses of strong opinions and teamwork example and temperament of winning and relationships Greens and Yellows and reliability, Greens and repetition feedback and Greens and Reds and respect, Reds and responsibility, Greens and
rhetoric, Yellows and Rice, Condoleezza risks Blues and Reds and Rogers, Fred Roosevelt, Franklin D. routine Greens and Reds and Yellows and rules Blues and Reds and S sandwich method sanguine behavior scapegoats, Reds and security, Greens and self-centeredness, Yellows and silence, Blues and silent resistance skepticism, Yellows and slog or split phenomenon social zone speed Blues and Greens and Reds and Yellows and spontaneity Blues and Yellows and spotlight, Greens and stability DISA and Greens and Stefan, feedback from stress factors for Blues Blues’ responses to different responses to
for Greens Greens’ responses to helping Blues with helping Greens with helping Reds with helping Yellows with overview of for Reds Reds’ responses to for Yellows Yellows’ responses to structure, Yellows and submission. See also DISA overview of surprises, Blues and surrounding factors, behavior and T talking, Yellows and teamwork. See also Combinations example from everyday life Greens and temperament. See also Anger of Blues of Greens overview of of Reds of Yellows Teresa (Mother) territory, body language and Thatcher, Margaret thoughtfulness, Greens and time management, Yellows and tolerance, Greens and trouble-shooting, Yellows and trust, Blues and TTI Success Insights U unknown, Greens and Utopia V values, core
W water Williams, Robin Williams, Venus Winfrey, Oprah winning, Reds and written communication Y yellow bile Yellows adapting to approachability and behaving when meeting body language of boredom and clutter and combining with other colors communication and conflict and creativity and criticism and curiosity and decision-making and description of details and disorganization and egocentrism and egotism and empathy and energy and excitement and flattery and focus and friendship and giving feedback to helping with stress humiliation and intuition and invisibility and isolation and lack of focus and listening and
optimism, enthusiasm and optimism and organization and overview of perception of by others perception of by self persuasion and popularity and public speaking and relationships and rhetoric and routine and self-centeredness and skepticism and speed and spontaneity and stress factors for stress responses of structure and talking and teamwork example and temperament of thinking outside the box and time management and trouble-shooting and
About the Author THOMAS ERIKSON is an expert on communication. He works with developing organizations from a leadership perspective. In the past eighteen years he has trained more than five thousand executives to be better and more efficient leaders. Thomas has written several popular science books on communication and human behavior. Surrounded by Idiots is one of Sweden’s bestselling nonfiction books, with hundreds of thousands of copies sold in Sweden alone. The book has been sold in more than thirty-five other languages around the world. You can sign up for email updates here.
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First published in the United States by St. Martin’s Essentials, an imprint of St. Martin’s Publishing Group SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS. Copyright © 2019 by Thomas Erikson. Foreword copyright © 2019 by David Bonnstetter. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Publishing Group, 120 Broadway, New York, NY 10271. Translated by Martin Pender and Rod Bradbury www.stmartins.com Cover design by Pete Garceau The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request. ISBN 978-1-250-17994-4 (hardcover) ISBN 978-1-250-25517-4 (international, sold outside the U.S., subject to rights availability) ISBN 978-1-250-17995-1 (ebook) eISBN 9781250179951 Our ebooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by email at [email protected]. First published in Sweden as Omgiven av idioter by HOI First published in the United States by St. Martin’s Essentials First U.S. Edition: July 2019
Contents Title Page Copyright Notice Foreword by David Bonnstetter Introduction: The Man Who Was Surrounded by Idiots 1. Communication Happens on the Listener’s Terms 2. Why Are We the Way We Are? 3. An Introduction to the System 4. Red Behavior: How to Recognize a Real Alpha and Avoid Getting in His Way 5. Yellow Behavior: How to Recognize Someone Whose Head Is in the Clouds and Get Him Back to Reality Again 6. Green Behavior: Why Change Is So Difficult and How to Get Around It 7. Blue Behavior: In Pursuit of Perfection 8. No One Is Completely Perfect: Strengths and Weaknesses 9. Learning New Things: How to Use What You’ve Learned 10. Body Language: Why How You Move Matters: How Do You Really Look? 11. A Real-Life Example: The Company Party—How to Understand Everyone You Meet
12. Adaptation: How to Handle Idiots (i.e., Everyone Who Isn’t like You) 13. How to Deliver Really Bad News: The Challenge of Speaking Your Mind 14. Who Gets Along and Why It Works: Group Dynamics at Their Finest 15. Written Communication: How to Evaluate Someone When You Can’t Meet in Person 16. What Makes Us as Mad as Hell?: Temperament Can Reveal Everything About a Person 17. Stress Factors and Energy Thieves: What Is Stress? 18. A Short Reflection Through History: People Have Always Been like This 19. Voices from Real Life 20. A Quick Little Quiz to See What You’ve Learned 21. A Final Example from Everyday Life: Perhaps the Most Enlightening Team Project in the History of the World The Answers to the Questions in Chapter 20 Further Reading Index About the Author Copyright