Readers.Digest.India-April.2022

APRIL 2022 100

COSLPELEDECCITITAOOLNR’S

COLLECTIONTHE CLASSIC
OufrroBmestthTerAurec-hSitvoersies

The Day it
Rained Fire
and Gold in

Bombay

Why God
Saved

Anna Hazare

The Extraordinary
Life of a Nazi Hunter

A Miraculous
Escape in a

Hot-Air Balloon







Reader’s Digest

Contents

Features 64

48 88

Anton, Friend Amy’s Choice

of All the World Four young siblings.
No parents. Just
In a tribute to his most one teenager
unforgettable character, determined to keep
a literary great tells the their family together.
story of cheerful Anton,
who never had a job— by rena dictor leblanc
but was always busy.
102
by stefan zweig
The Great
photo: G E T T Y I M A G E S 56 70 Balloon Escape

Why God Saved The Day Bombay Trapped under the
Anna Hazare Blew Up iron rule of an oppres-
sive regime, a family
The humble, remar- A haunting account dares to ride the
kable origins of the of the Bombay harbour winds to freedom.
man who became the explosion that occurred
people’s champion 78 years ago this month. by jürgen petschull
against corruption
and injustice in India. by john ennis readersdigest.in 3

by mohan sivanand 78

64 The Man Who
Will Not Forget
String of Blue Beads
The life and work of
A lonely shopkeeper’s Simon Wiesenthal,
discovery of the most who tracked down
precious gift to give more than 1,000
or receive—love. Nazi war criminals.

by fulton oursler by joseph blank

Reader’s Digest

16

10 Over to You personal glimpses photo of (top) alamy; (bottom) illustration: siddhant jumde
38 Towards More lasting interest
20 Mother Teresa,
Picturesque Speech Charles de 32 Sarla Thakral:
87 Notes from All Over Gaulle, Ashutosh The Sky was
97 Lessons in English Mukherjee and Her Limit
112 Keep Up With Morarji Desai
by shreevatsa nevatia
the World department of wit
113 Word Power 20
115 Quiz 26 When Mothers
116 Quotable Quotes Get the Bug

Conversations by joyce lubold

words of points to ponder
lasting interest
30 Winston Chuchill,
16 Lessons in Cornelia Otis
Diplomacy, from Skinner, Robert
Dag Hammarskjöld Young, Elizabeth
Hardwick and
by jhan robbins Marie Dressier

4 april 2022



Reader’s Digest

top: soifi/shutterstock Better Living 42 Timeless
Humour
34 Love Your NOTE TO OUR
Enemies—It’ll READERS from across
Drive ‘Em Crazy the decades
From time to time, you will
by j. p. mcevoy see pages titled ‘An Impact 12
Humour in Uniform
health Feature’ or ‘Focus’ in
Reader’s Digest. This is no 45
40 Do You Have different from an advertise- All in a Day’s Work
Frozen Shoulder? ment and the magazine’s
editorial staff is not involved 54
by lisa bendall in its creation in any way. As Kids See It

the food on 63
your plate Campus Comedy

42 Grapes: A Divine 69
Fruit to Drink Virtual Hilarity

by kate lowenstein 76
and daniel gritzer Life’s Like That

news from the 98
world of medicine Laughter, The Best

46 All About Smart Medicine
Bandages, Why
Bake with Less
Salt, How Toxic is
Social Media and
Can AI Rule Out
Breast Cancer?

by mark witten

On the Cover

cover illustration by Siddhant Jumde

The Day it Rained Fire and Gold in Bombay ........................................................................ 70
Why God Saved Anna Hazare ............................................................................................... 56
The Extraordinary Life of a Nazi Hunter ............................................................................... 78
A Miraculous Escape on a Hot-Air Balloon ........................................................................ 102

6 april 2022



A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World

Editor-in-Chief Aroon Purie VOL. 63 NO. 4
Vice Chairperson Kalli Purie APRIL 2022
Group Chief Executive Officer Dinesh Bhatia
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Chief Executive Officer Manoj Sharma

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Published at F-26, First Floor, Connaught Place, New Delhi-110001. Editor: Kai Jabir Friese (responsible for selection of news).

8 april 2022



OVER TO marriage, I feel, will
YOU also strengthen the
hand of law in dealing
Notes on the with POCSO cases.
February issue Mallika Gopalakrish-
nan, Bengaluru

The Promise of Deliverance Reader’s Digest
Changed My Life!
Extending the marriageable age of women by three
years is not the panacea for their problems. The focus Since the age of 12, I
must be on creating social awareness about women’s have never missed an
sexual and reproductive health and rights, and ensur- issue of RD (I am 67
ing girls are not forced to drop out of school or col- now). I borrowed my
lege. The law confers adulthood at 18, accompanied first RD from the pub-
by rights to vote, contract and marry. To realistically lic library, then bought
delay the marriage of girls from marginalized social the next from a news-
groups, the state must guarantee quality education stand, which I con-
up to 18 years, adequate healthcare, nutrition, acces- tinue to do even today.
sible schools with hygienic toilets, together with Like in several other
job skills and livelihoods. Else, the legal age of families, reading the
marriage will make little difference. Laws cannot Digest was a habit
be a shortcut in the path to social reform. passed on from one
generation to another.
Pradeep Kumar, Surat My dad used to crack
‘Word Power’, often
Pradeep Kumar gets this month’s ‘Write & Win’ prize of ₹1,000. —EDs with a perfect score;
it was a matter of
I have to disagree with author’s stand on the issue. prestige for him to
The proposed bill on raising the minimum age for solve it without aid.
girls at marriage, has come to fruition after due delib- It is amazing RD has
erations of a 10-member task force. The committee managed to hold the
surveyed girls in 16 universities, and over 70 per cent attention of readers,
of these girls unequivocally favoured raising the legal fighting off competi-
age of marriage for women to 21. Unfortunately the tion from multiple
author has chosen to look at the problem from the platforms. May this
point of those parents who want to get rid of their magazine see another
daughters as early as possible! Raising the age of 100 years!
Dr Nayeem Ullah
Khan, Bangalore

10 april 2022

Reader’s Digest

Unforgettable Charminar during outlook, increase ap-
DeWitt Wallace. courtship or sitting at preciation of things and
It was exhilarating to the Taj Mahal hotel at people, enlarge one’s
read about the man— Koti, enjoying a single capacity for enjoyable
and the woman—who cup of ice-cream. De- association with fellow
threw open the doors spite years of together- men and lubricate the
of the ‘pocket university ness, we still get into process of adjustment
to readers of the world arguments. But, these to the world”. What
at large. It is incorrect small fights only serve astonishing foresight
to say that the skylark to add a little spice, not the great DeWitt
has vanished leaving take away from our ro- Wallace had!
its song to linger on. mance. We know deep Krishan Kalra,
Actually, the skylark in our hearts we will Gurugram
wings it way to the support each other till
hearts of millions in the call comes. She finally said YES!
the world every month P. Dinakara Rao,
to enthral, entice, in- Hyderabad Who has not experi-
spire and enlighten. enced juvenile love in
Ayyasseri R. Aranmula Highlights from school, also sometimes
Kerala 100 years of called infatuation, and
Reader’s Digest nurtured this first love
The Quirks Of for rest of our lives? The
Long-Term Love Each of RD’s milestones story immediately took
is amazing. What the me back to my school
Patricia Pearson’s ‘little magazine’ has days and though the
article made us—a achieved in 10 decades protagonists in the story
couple married for over is like a fairy tale—23 suffered personal trage-
51 years—reflect on our editions in 41 countries, dies and difficulties,
past, present and future with so much packed in their ultimate union
together. I love my wife its pages by way of sci- warmed the cockles
Pramila—it took us a lot entific knowledge, real of one’s heart!
of time to convince our life dramas, self-im- Arvind Arya. Mumbai
parents to approve of provement advice,
our union. We were celebrity biographies, Write in at editor.india@
finally married in 1971. recognition of unsung rd.com. The best letters
We often find ourselves heroes and entertain- discuss RD articles, offer
reminiscing the roma- ment. Every month criticism, share ideas.
ntic times we had to- the magazine fulfills Do include your phone
gether: Secretly the founder’s mission number and postal address.
meeting near “to widen one’s

readersdigest.in 11

Reader’s Digest

Humour in Uniform

1960s to my army doctor husband. He exam-

ONE OF THE BOYS in our navy train- ined the POW thoroughly but was un-
ing nit, after months of instruction,
was a still a non-swimmer. As gradua- able to find any internal or external
tion drew near, the swimming instruc-
tor pulled him aside. “Son,” he said, “if injuries and decided to keep him un-
your ship ever gets torpedoed, jump
over the side, go all the way to the bot- der observation. Just then. The enemy
tom and run like hell for shore. Thats
the only way you’ll even make it.” started shelling the Indian position,

—RICHARD SIMS, JULY 1962 and everybody dived into nearby

MY LATE HUSBAND Rear Admiral Cow- trenches. When the shelling stopped
ard, was stationed up the Yangtze river
some years ago. He was then a com- my husband rushed back to his post
mander, and for a particular ceremony
he had to put on full dress uniform. I was but the POW was gone. “My god,” he
in his room urging him on as time was
running out. He had on his frock-coat shouted to this nursing assistant, “has
uniform, complete with epaulettes, and
his fancy hat. I saw a gold-green cord he escaped?” “No sir, your patient
with tassels lying on his bunk and trying
to help, asked, “Where does this go?” should be returning any moment,”

“Will you put that damn thing down!” the assistant replied. “He jumped
he bellowed. “It belongs to the curtain
on my door.” into a trench too!” —FEBRUARY 1986

—MRS J. G. COWARD, JANUARY 1966 2000s

1980s Having spent several months at sea,
my brother and his naval colleagues
AFTER A SKIRMISH during the 1965 had been granted a short period of
Indo-Pakistan war, a captured Paki- shore leave. My brother was so thrilled
stani soldier was brought unconscious at the prospect of finally putting his
feet on dry land that, as his ship came
into port, he was running and jump-
ing around the decks. Unfortunately,
he failed to notice a low bulkhead and
leapt into it, knocking himself out. He
regained consciousness—but was in
the ship’s sick bay for several days. By
then, the vessel was back at sea, with
the port and shore leave far behind.

—CHRISTINE BURFORD, MAY 2006

12 april 2022







CONVERSATIONS

Words of Lasting Interest

MAY 1962

A Lesson in Diplomacy,

from Dag Hammarskjöld

By Jhan Robbins

I T HAPPENED, really, in three acts. He motioned me to a table at one
Maybe that’s the way I should try to end of the room, and we went quickly
tell you about my experience, two to the subject at hand. In answer to
years ago, with the late Dag Ham- my questions, he spoke with force
marskjöld, and my ancient jeep. and conviction about the importance
of the United Nations, what it had
Act I already accomplished and what he
I was preparing an article about inter- hoped for its future.
national negotiations, and had an ap-
pointment with the Secretary-General “Let us not make the mistake,” he
of the United Nations late one after- said, “of undervaluing the mediation
noon in his office on the 38th floor of and conciliation that go on here among
the UN Secretariat building. Seasoned nations every day. In some small way
diplomatic reporters warned me that injured pride is comforted, anger is
my quarry was shy, reticent and rather harmlessly vented, conflict ends in
formal—a difficult subject. compromise.” As our discussion drew
to a close, the telephone rang. From
To my surprise, he greeted me in the conversation I gathered that a
shirtsleeves, smoking a pipe instead man with whom Hammarskjöld had
of his usual small cigar. As he rose planned to have dinner had been taken
to shake my hand, I saw that he was ill. He looked disappointed. Amazed
taller, thinner and blonder than he at my temerity, I blurted, “I’d be hon-
appeared on television. oured if you’d have dinner with me.”

16 april 2022

Reader’s Digest

Swedish diplomat, Dag Hammarskjöld served as the second Secretary-General of the United
Nations from 1953 to 1961, and is the only posthumous recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.

PHOTO: ALAMY I expected the Secretary-General “It’s completely disreputable,”
to refuse. Instead, he said heartily, I spluttered. “The side curtains are off,
“Fine idea!” and it bucks in low gear and ...”

As we walked down the hall, I told Hammarskjöld, with a twinkle in
him that I lived in a Connecticut town his pale blue eyes, put a hand on my
95 km from New York, that I had missed shoulder. “Courage!” he said.
my train that morning and had driven
to the city in our old red jeep. Act II
As we chugged uptown in rush hour
“A red jeep!” he said. “Imagine!” traffic, a horn blasted sharply at me
Racking my brain for a restaurant to from behind. Then a taxi shot past me
suggest lor dinner, I started to describe on the left and, suddenly, cut to the
a small place I had recently discovered right across my bow. I leaned on my
in uptown Manhattan where excellent horn, jammed on the brakes, twisted
Creole food was served. “Ah, Creole!” my wheel to the right—and ran up
he exclaimed. “Shrimp and rice. Let’s on the sidewalk. Sideswiping a metal
go there. I have dismissed my chauf- waste container, which clanged like Big
feur, but we can ride in your red jeep.”

readersdigest.in 17

Reader’s Digest

Ben, the jeep carrying the Secretary- taken aback. Here was someone talking
General of the United Nations—and to him sympathetically. “Yeah,” he said,
me—came to rest against a lamppost. “it is tough. If it isn’t the other drivers,
it’s the snow or the rain or the cops or
Incredibly, no damage was done. the trucks. You can’t win. It’s always
The taxi came to a halt, and its driver tough driving in this town!”
started striding towards me. Before he
reached me, I snapped at him, “Why I had been ready to continue the
didn’t you signal? Couldn’t you see argument, but now, perhaps, I could
you were cutting me off? What kind of back off a little, too. “It sure is tough,”
a fool driver are you?” I said feelingly. “I’m glad I don’t have
The cabby bellowed, “What do you to drive here more than a couple of
mean by all that blasted honking? times a month.” Hammarskjöld mur-
What’s the matter, you blind or some- mured in my direction, “I’m sure your
thing? Where’s your brains?” job has its hazards, too.”
He demanded to see my licence. I
showed it to him, and demanded to “I guess I was rattled, having you in
see his. He snorted, “These days they the jeep, sir,” I said. “Maybe I was a little
give licences to everybody. Even guys careless.” Hammarskjöld turned to the
like you!” My embarrassment turned to taxi driver. “My friend feels he may
rage. “You could have killed us all, you have been a little careless.”
maniac!” I shouted.
Now both of us had retreated to “Aw, maybe I did crowd him,” the
extreme positions. I could see the cabby admitted. “I suppose I should
cabby’s muscles tensing. I planted my have realized he was an out-of-state
feet firmly on the pavement. A crowd driver. He probably don’t understand
had begun to gather. The taxi driver New York signals.”
turned his back on me and began to
talk to Hammarskjöld. “If I was you, I was about to tell him I had been
I wouldn’t ride with this guy,” he said born and brought up in New York City
contemptuously. “He’s just a country and had held a driver’s licence there
driver—him and that jeep shoulda for 15 years. But it suddenly dawned
stayed in the sticks where they belong.” on me that Dag Hammarskjöld,
I was about to make an indignant re- in order to calm down two near-
ply when Hammarskjöld said quietly, belligerents in a minor traffic inci-
“It must be tough driving a cab all day dent, was using the arbitration for-
every day in this town. I’m glad I don’t mula for international negotiations
have to do it—I couldn’t stand it. I’m he had described to me earlier!
surprised there aren’t more accidents!”
I could see that the cabdriver was “The arbitrator must always keep
three things in mind,” he had said in his
precise way. “One: Do not be dismayed
if a situation seems irreconcilable. Af-
ter all, if both sides aren’t shouting

18 april 2022

Words of Lasting Interest

dangerous threats at each other, the Act III

arbitrator is not needed. The important About 10 blocks later the jeep’s engine

first step is to establish sympathetic sputtered. I glanced at my gas gauge.

relations with both parties and to re- The needle pointed to EMPTY.

main in contact while the initial sword- “Boy, this is it!” I said miserably,

rattling goes on.” forgetting diplomatic language. “I’ve

“Two: Try to persuade the angry really messed things up!”

parties to vent a sizable portion of their I coasted to the curb, yanked on the

anger on some impersonal, abstract hand-brake and suggested that we

target. Different shades of meaning in go to the restaurant by taxi. Just as I

language, the inescapable pressures of yelled, “Taxi!” a cab pulled up. It was

economics or even the psychological the same driver with whom we’d had

effect of climatic conditions can be used the run-in a few minutes earlier.

to ‘air-condition’ a serious quarrel.” “You guys in trouble again?”

“Three: Find some area he asked. “Out of gas,” I

of mutual concern that will said glumly.

draw both parties into a “ H o p i n ,” h e s a i d .

positive discussion. It may “There’s a gas station

be utterly irrelevant to the up ahead.”

problem at hand, but once Hammarskjöld elected

you get them to say some- to stay with the jeep. As we

thing like, ‘There’s a grain drove along, the cabby said,

of truth in that’, there is an “That’s a nice guy you got

excellent chance that a har- riding with you. A quiet fel-

monious solution may ulti- low, but real nice.”

mately be reached.” FROM 1962 At the gas station, he

“It’s amazing,” he had concluded, waited while I bought a canful of fuel,

“but history shows that two countries then drove me back to my stalled car.

which have been persuaded to retreat I reached for my wallet, but I saw that

from the verge of war can often become the metal lever on his meter was still

good friends, even help one another.” up—the fare had not been registered.

Gradually, remembering these “It’s on me,” he said. “Forget it!” Wav-

things, I stopped scowling. The cab- ing cheerfully, he drove away.

by’s bluster ebbed, too. “I guess we In the light of all that has happened

both got to watch out a little sharper,” since, I suppose that this ride with Dag

he said. I nodded. He retreated to his Hammarskjöld may not have been

cab. Apologizing profusely to Ham- world-shakingly significant. I find my-

marskjöld, I backed off the curb and self thinking about it surprisingly of-

we started uptown again. ten, however. Maybe you will, too.

readersdigest.in 19

Personal Glimpses

BEHIND-THE-SCENES OF THE LIVES OF THE FAMOUS

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SIDDHANT JUMDE

Lucius ‘Lute’ Pease, Pulitzer prize- of $50, Mr. Munsey,” the messenger said.
winning cartoonist, once told “What? Again? I just gave him
me this story about O. HENRY.
another one. What is it this time?”
Pease was talking to publisher “He didn’t say, “ the messenger said.
Frank Munsey about a job when a “He owes me five stories now.
messenger sent by O. Henry came in.
You go tell him: No advance unless
“Mr. Porter would like an advance I know what he wants it for.”

The messenger left, but soon retu-
rned and handed Munsey an envelope.
Munsey held it up to the light. It looked
empty. He shook it. No sound.

He ripped open one end, held the
envelope with its open end pointed
downwards and shook it again. A long
blond hair slid out. O. Henry got the $50.

DAVID STEINBERG, quoted in ‘The Phoenix Nest’,

Saturday Review, January 1965

Although astronauts seem glamorous Centre to moon, moon to Pacific
to most earth-bound beings, Apollo Ocean, Pacific Ocean to Houston. The
16 crewman CHARLIE DUKE reveals moon trip lasted 11 days, so that was
that fortune does not necessarily ac- $275 in extra money. However, as the
company fame: “Astronauts were paid government provided quarters and
according to their rank. We did, how- meals, that was deducted. I believe I
ever, get a little extra, as space flight made $1.25 for each day on the trip.”
was considered TDY, or temporary
duty. The per diem for TDY at that WITH DOTTY DUKE in Moonwalker (Oliver Nelson),
time was $25. To claim credit, we January 1993
had to fill out an itinerary. Mine
read: Houston to Kennedy Space. COMEDIAN DAVID BRENNER came
from a poor but close family. When he

20 april 2022

Reader’s Digest

Known as a devout and serious the world. It’s all yours now.’”
person, MOTHER TERESA “I always thought that was a great
also has a good sense of humour.
Once, during a news conference, joke my father had played on me until
she was asked if she objects to a few years later when I was in the
being photographed constantly. army, sitting in a foxhole, and thinking
about my family and my life. It was
“I have made a contract with then I realized that my friends had
God,” the nun said, smiling. gotten only new cars, or only clothes.
“Every time someone takes a My father had given me the whole
photograph, a soul from purga- world. What greater gift!”
tory must go to heaven.”
Soft Pretzels With Mustard (Arbor House),
As numerous cameras clicked January 1990
in succession, she added. “So
purgatory must be empty today.” Here is a classic story about
SIR ASUTOSH MUKHERJEE, the
MARY BETH MURPHY in Milwaukee Sentinel, first Indian Chief Justice of the Cal-
January 1986 cutta High Court, who was popularly
known as ‘Royal Bengal Tiger’ for his
graduated from high school, however, refusal to kowtow to the British.
he was given an unforgettable gift.
“Some of my friends got new clothes Sir Asutosh was once asleep in
and a few rich kids even got new cars,” a first-class compartment when an
he remembers. “My father reached Englishman boarded the train at a
into his pants pocket and took some- wayside station and occupied the
thing out. I extended my hand, palm next berth. The sahib did not like
up, and he let my present drop into the presence of the rotund ‘native’
it—a nickel! “Dad said to me, ‘Buy a and, to show his spite, picked up
newspaper with that. Read every word Sir Asutosh’s sandals and threw
of it. Then turn to the classified sec- them out of the running train.
tion and get yourself a job. Get into Some time later Sir Asutosh woke
up and found his sandals missing.

Guessing what had happened, he
picked up the jacket of the now snor-
ing sahib and threw it out. Next morn-
ing the sahib asked Sir Asutosh if he
had seen his jacket.

“Your coat,” Sir Asutosh replied,
“has gone to fetch my slippers.”

NIKHIL CHAKRAVARTY in The Sunday review, The
Times of India, January 1986

readersdigest.in 21

Reader’s Digest

A charming incident illustrating the “We have this game of hide-
haathi-mera-saathi (my friend, the and-seek every morning,” answered
elephant) spirit was narrated to me 15-year-old mahout Raju. “I hide
by photographer T. S. NAGARAJAN. myself and imitate the trumpet call.
Early one morning he was busy tak- The 20-year-old elephant Kamakshi
ing photographs of worshippers at starts looking for me. I go from one
Brihadeshwara Temple, Thanjavur hiding place to another and repeat
(Tamil Nadu) when the temple ele- the call and Kamakshi tries to locate
phant seemed to run amok, trumpet- me. She must have this game of
ing loudly and running full tilt along hide-and-seek every morning,
the corridors. The trumpeting was otherwise she is very irritable for
answered from different parts of the the rest of the day.”
sanctuary as if another elephant was
challenging it for a fight. The wor- KHUSHWANT SINGH in The Hindustan Times,
shippers ran helter-skelter, climbed January 1986
up walls and hid behind the pillars.
All at once a little boy appeared from Harper’s Magazine recently sent a
nowhere and the elephant calmed questionnaire to a number of cele-
down. The haathi and saathi ambled brated men asking: “During what ac-
away to the stable. Nagarajan asked tivity, situation, moment or series of
the boy what had happened. moments do you feel most mascu-
line?” As an afterthought, they sent

ALBERT EINSTEIN had
been best man at the wedding
of a young friend, and a few years
later the couple brought their
18-month-old son to meet him.

The child took one look and
burst into a screaming fit. The
parents were speechless with
embarrassment, but Einstein’s eyes
lighted up. He patted the boy on
the head and crooned, “You’re the
first person in years who has told
me what you really think of me.”

ALAN W. RICHARDS IN TRENTON, N.J., TIMES,
FEBRUARY 1968

22 april 2022

Personal Glimpses

the same question to a number
of prominent women. Playwright
LILLIAN HELLMAN, thus queried,
responded: “It makes me feel
masculine to tell you that I do not
answer questions like this without
being paid for answering them.”

October 1975

A salesman called on STEINWAY & Former Prime Minister
SONS to show them a new piano MORAJI DESAI, after his
key pin. “My company believes graduation in 1917, applied to
this aluminum pin is greatly supe- join the provincial civil service.
rior to the pin you have been using,” Borrowing clothes from a friend
he said. Mr Steinway deliberated (he did not have any good ones),
for some moments. Desai appeared before the
interview board which consisted
“Well, young man,” he said at of three government secretaries,
last, “we are an old firm, slow and all Englishmen. At the end of the
cautious about making changes. interview he was asked, “Well,
But we will install your pins in one young man, how would you feel
of our pianos and give them a trial.” if you do not get this job?”
“Who knows, I may get
The salesman was delighted. something better,” Desai replied
“That’s good enough for me,” he said. promptly. Though the post went
“How long a trial will you need?” to someone else, the secretaries,
who were impressed with Desai’s
“Oh,” said Mr. Steinway thought answer, created an additional
fully, “I’d say about 50 years.” post just to accommodate him.

DAN BENNETT in Quote, November 1958 Indian Express, November 1988

When the evening spent in front of ter of Information the next morning
the television set has been a pleas- and greets him by saying, “I watched
ant one for President CHARLES DE your television last night …”
GAULLE, and nothing has gone
wrong with the news commentary, PIERRE VIANSSON-PONTE, The King and his Court ,
he says “My television”. If he is not February 1966
satisfied with the commentator’s
tone, if he is bored or annoyed, he
says, “The television”. If he feels he
or his regime has been made to look
ridiculous, he summons the Minis-

readersdigest.in 23









Reader’s Digest
26 april 2022

ILLUSTRATION: GETTY IMAGES COMPOSITE DEPARTMENT OF WIT

FEBRUARY 1967

Mothers don’t get sick very often.
But when they do, this is what happens

BY Joyce Lubold

readersdigest.in 27

Reader’s Digest

ave you ever had the 24-hour bug? You know,
you have a fever, you ache and you have to stay
in bed. Well, most people have had it sometime,
and most people get over it in 24 hours. Most

H people, that is, except mothers. A mother can get
over it in 12 hours or less!
Mother has just taken her temper- We’ve got to eat,” says the older girl.
ature—and it’s over 38°C. She’s got the Mother understands. She knows
bug that’s going around.
that the children aren’t used to a moth-
It’s right after lunch. The older chil- er in bed. “I’m sick,” she says. “I can’t
dren are at school, and the baby is nap- do anything. I’ll just have to leave it all
ping. There’s no reason why Mother to you.” She sighs. “Cook the potatoes
cannot go to bed. But first she has a few ... take care of the baby ... set the table.”
things to do. Mix the meat loaf for din-
ner. Leave a note for the cleaners. Find The children dash off like soldiers
someone to serve coffee for her at the going into battle. For a time Mother
meeting tonight. Put in the next load of is left to the quiet of her room and the
washing. Carry out the garbage. ache in her pounding head.

At last ... she ... sinks ... into ... bed. Then Father comes home. He
Ah-h-h-h-! Her aching legs soak up bounds into the bedroom, drops heav-
comfort from the cool sheets. Her ily on the side of the bed and reaches
burning eyes close. She’s asleep! for her hand. He looks tired. Mother
starts worrying about him. “It’s noth-
Then, suddenly, the front door ing, darling—just this bug that’s going
bangs open as the children burst home around,” she says. “I can get up and do
from school. “Mum! Mum! Where ARE dinner and—”
you?” Mother tries to
answer but their cries Father shakes his
drown out her weak calls. head. “You stay right
Soon they find her—in there. Don’t worry about
bed. a thing. The kids and I will
take over. We’ll get along
“Didn’t you even fine without you.”
get up yet?” cries the
younger girl. Mother’s room is
quiet again. But it’s also
“How am I going empty. Mother tosses
to get to Bill’s?” asks and turns. The sheets
the boy. are no longer cool. And
“What about dinner? they scratch. She lies still,

28 april 2022

Department of Wit

listening for family sounds. There’s a glass of water,

She feels left out. She feels spilled onto the tray. There’s

terrible! But everybody else a plate with three beans, a

seems to feel great. In fact, cold boiled potato, a tiny

there seems to be some sort slice of burned meat loaf.

of party going on. There are “Can we stay with you

giggles from the children. while you eat?” the children

And there are loud laughs ask. “Dad’s kind of mad.

from Father. And the kitchen is a mess.

Suddenly there is a And nobody knows where

crash, followed by Father’s FROM 1967 the broom is. Is it all right if
voice. “Get the baby out of we stay with you?”

the way before he cuts himself! Where’s Suddenly Mother feels wonderful.

the broom? Don’t disturb your moth- As the children watch carefully, she

er! I said DON’T DISTURB YOUR eats her cold dinner. “Everything tastes

MOTHER!” so good,” she tells them. She notices,

Nowthehousegrowsquiet.Itisclear without surprise, that her aches and

to Mother that the family is eating din- pains are gone.

ner while she lies there sick and alone. The older girl speaks up. “Gee, Mum,

No one had thought to bring dinner I sure wish you’d get better. It’s just no

to her. They’ve forgotten all about her. fun when you’re sick.”

They’re doing fine without her. There’s “Yeh,” says the boy, “I hope you feel

no point in going on living. better tomorrow. We miss you.”

Then there is another crash. The Mother smiles. “I feel better already,”

younger girl rushes in with the news. she says.

“They dropped your tray and the dog SO YOU SEE HOW IT IS with mothers.

licked up all your dinner.” Other people have the 24-hour bug for

She dashes off. There is more noise 24 hours. But not a mother. If she feels

until,finally,thechildrenappear,beam- needed enough, she can get over it in

ing. They are proud of what they bring. 12 hours or less!

Points to Ponder

The human story does not always unfold like
a mathematical calculation on the principle
that two and two make four. Sometimes in life
they make five or minus three; and sometimes
the blackboard topples down in the middle of
the sum and leaves the class in disorder and
the pedagogue with a black eye.

WINSTON CHURCHILL, JANUARY 1966

Virtues and vices have frequently Some of you may have the courage
changed places as life moved on to throw yourselves into a life of ex-
through the ages: Witch burning pressive protest against injustice.
used to be a virtue, and lending More power to you as long as you
money at interest a vice. seek to build justice not simply to
punish the unjust. The pleasure of
SIR JAMES JEANS, Living Philosophies, JANUARY 1935 harassing the oppressor is no substi-
tute for the patience and the persever-
Sir Rabindranath Tagore, Nobel ance it takes to enlarge the capacities
Prize winning poet once said, “I and the opportunities of others.
have on my table a violin string. It
is free. I twist one end of it and it re- KINGMAN BREWSTER, President of Yale University,
sponds. It is free. But it is not free to addressing graduates, FEBRUARY 1966
do what a violin string is supposed
to do—to produce music. So I take it, So the scrawny princess married the
fix it in my violin and tighten it until homely prince and they lived happily
it is taut. Only then is it free to be a ever after. That’ s not how the story
violin string. By the same token we goes, but it is often the way life goes.
are free when our lives our uncom- Few are beauties, male or female,
mitted, but not to be what we are and then not for long. I was struck by
intended to be. Real freedom is not this in a supermarket. There was
freedom from, but freedom for. something familiar in all the faces
and figures, a common denominator,
ROBERT YOUNG, Renewing Your Faith Day to Day, a reassuring absence of stunning
JANUARY 1966

30 april 2022

Reader’s Digest

good looks. “People,” I thought, While it is well enough to leave foot-
“aren’t heroes and heroines. In prints on the sands of time, it is even
real life they’re character actors.” more important to make sure they
As if in confirmation, a glass-door point in a commendable direction.
reflection showed me a gaunt old
fellow in an out-of-date grey jacket, JAMES BRANCH CABELL, JUNE 1982
baggy maroon slacks and battered
shoes. He was walking with slow care, Every woman has the right to feel
and his effort at a pale smile seemed beautiful, no matter how scrambled
more like a wince of pain or fatigue. her features, or how indifferent her fig-
Proves my point, flashed my mind— ure. She needs this inward assurance
and then I recognized myself. to give her serenity, poise and power.
It is her birthright. To women between
RICHARD F. MERRIFIELD, Monadnock Journal, the ages of eight and eighty who want
Countryman Press, DECEMBER 1975 to grow in beauty, here’s my advice:
Forget what your looking glass tells
When you meet someone with you, but say to yourself a dozen times
good manners, you can’t know a day: “I am beloved.” No woman who
immediately if you’re meeting a actually believes that she is precious in
good person. ... But you will know the eyes of another can walk ungrace-
instantly that something is right fully, or live without charm.
about the person. The world is well
supplied with rude people spouting MARIE DRESSIER, My Own Story, JANUARY 1935
high moral positions about human
rights, but it is noticeably lacking in The greatest gift is the passion for
those who worry about the human reading. It is cheap, it consoles, it
being waiting in line behind them at distracts, it excites, it gives you knowl-
the automated teller machine while edge of the world and experience of
they balance their checkbooks. a wide kind. It is a moral illumination.

OWEN EDWARDS, Town & Country, JANUARY 1993 ELIZABETH HARDWICK, quoted by Darryl Pinckney
in The Paris Review, JANUARY 1990

A hundred years from now, I dare say,
some dreamy collector will pay a cool
thousand for an old milk bottle, and I wish
I had the equivalent for what my hot-water
bag will bring in 2034! Why we should be
so beguiled by the antique is a riddle that
perhaps only the interior decorator can solve .

CORNELIA OTIS SKINNER, JANUARY 1935

readersdigest.in 31

PHOTO

OF LASTING
INTEREST

The Sky Was Her Limit

Sarla Thakral wore a sari
when strapping herself in
the cockpit of a Gipsy Moth
and flying solo for the first
time. The year was 1936 and
Thakral was only 21. Though
her feat had no known
precedent, it is hard to say
just how concerned Thakral
was with making history.
Married at the age of 16, she
had a four-year-old daughter
to worry about, but Thakral,
it seems clear, would much
rather set an example for her
child than hold herself back.
Her husband P. D. Sharma,
an airmail pilot, encouraged
Thakral to clock a thousand
hours of flying and get an ‘A’
license. Tragically, Sharma
died in 1939, but Thakral was
not one to let the news of his
plane crash deter her. She still
wanted her career in aviation.
It was only when World War
II made flying impossible did
Thakral remarry and turn her
energies to art instead. For
Thakral, horizons—both literal
and metaphoric—were always
things she went beyond.

—SHREEVATSA NEVATIA

32 april 2022

Reader’s Digest photo: historic collection / alamy stock photo
readersdigest.in 33

Reader’s Digest
3040 maapriclh2200222

BETTER LIVING

DECEMBER 1957

LOVE YOUR
ENEMIES–

It’ll Drive
’Em Crazy

ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK Sometimes it’s better to turn foes into friends—or, at least,
to neutralize them

BY J. P. McEvoy

readersdigest.in 35

Reader’s Digest

ell, maybe it won’t drive ’em crazy, but it’ll
certainly discombobulate ’em. Anyway, you
can waste a lot of energy being nasty to your

W enemies. A wise man said it years ago: “If you
attend to your work and let your enemy alone,
someone else will come along some day and fix him for you.”

But suppose your enemy won’t let you mystified but friendly neighbour.
alone? What then? You can do what the There is an old saying, “There are
man did who was walking the bounds
of his new farm and met his neighbour. no little enemies.” Enemies may seem
“Don’t look now,” said the neighbour, little and unimportant, but be careful.
“but when you bought this piece of Don’t give them cause to make a career
ground, you also bought a lawsuit with of getting even with you. Be nice to that
me. Your fence is three metres over disagreeable paper-boy on the corner.
on my land.” Otherwise he will dedicate himself
to working hard and getting rich so
Now this is the classic opening for he can buy the building you’re in and
a feud that could go on for centuries throw you out. Don’t tell off that snooty
and make generations of enemies. golden receptionist who blocks you
“Good fences make good neighbours,” from getting in to the boss. One day she
wrote poet Robert Frost, but more will marry the boss, sure as hell, if for no
potent even than good fences are good other reason than to get even with you.
boundary lines.
There are all kinds of enemies, and
The new owner smiled: “I thought one of the arts of living is to learn to tell
I’d find some friendly neighbour here, them apart. But consider the common
and I’m going to. And you’re going or garden-variety of enemy, the kind
to help me. Move the
fence where you want who never meant to be
it, and send me the bill. an enemy at all, and
You’ll be satisfied and I’ll doesn’t want to be an
be happy.” enemy, really. He’s not
mad at you; he’s mad
The story goes that the at the world, and you
fence was never moved, are wandering witlessly
and the potential enemy around on his lonely
was never the same. He battlefield, stepping on
went around talking to land mines and getting
himself. He was in shock; into lines of fire not
after that he was a slightly meant for you at all.

36 april 2022

Better Living

Let me tell you about one of them. Now, the angels who have the special

She was the dark-eyed daughter of job of watching over children’s parties

our town barber: a small, stormy, must have seen to it that the ‘Enemy

economy-size Gina Lollobrigida seen Party’ was a mad, merry success, and

through the wrong end of a telescope. the best time was had by the biggest

Years ago, I brought my two little girls enemy, little ‘Lolla’, who rolled on the

home from South America and put floor and shrieked with delight.

them in school down the road. They Pat and Peggy never came home

talked a very peculiar language that crying from school anymore. Their

was neither English nor Spanish, and biggest enemy had turned into their

their classmates gave them staunchest champion.

a hard time. Especially Nobody dared lift a finger

‘Lolla,’ who was older and against them or little

the ringleader Terror of the ‘Lolla’ would have broken

Tiny Tots. it off, pronto.

Pat and Peggy came One day ‘Lolla’s’ father

home crying almost every dropped in to see me.

day, so I decided to cheer “I came to thank you for

them up. “Let’s have a asking my little girl to the

party,” I said. Pat’s and party,” he said. Then he

Peggy’s tears dried magi- added, mystified, “Why

cally. Right away they got did you do it?”

creative: “Ice cream! Cake! FROM 1957 “Why not?” I told him.
Big, red balloons!” “She’s a solid little citizen,

“And friends?” I said. The tears and she likes ice cream, cake and big,

started again. red balloons, just like any other little

“We haven’t got any friends,” girl. Yes?”

Pat blubbered. Peggy wailed, “Nothing “Oh, yes,” he said. “But do you know

but enemies.” something? Nobody ever asked her to a

ThenIhadoneofmyrareinspirations. party before. Why?”

“Let’s have an enemy party. Let’s invite A good question. Are the ‘Lollas’ left

all your enemies—and we’ll fill ’em up out because they are enemies, or do they

with ice cream and cake and give ’em become enemies because they are left

red balloons to take home.” out? There are several schools of thought

Little Pat and Peggy exchanged working on this, but the Great Teacher

knowing looks, and one of them said settled it long ago. “Love your enemies,

with an eloquent Spanish gesture, “Qué pray for them that persecute you, do

passa al Viejo?” (“What goes with the good to them that hate you …” And it’ll

Old One?”) drive them crazy, because it works!

readersdigest.in 37

Picturesque Speech

TOWARDS MORE LIVELY LANGUAGE

1940s guest stands at the open screen door
and lets the flies in. —SYLVIA STRUM BREMER
JANUARY 1942
There are two kinds of leaders in
Restless as a chipmunk’s tail the world—some are interested
in the fleece, others in the flock.
—IRVIN S. COBB
—O. A. BATTISTA
Elastic as memory —REBECCA LOWRIE
Some people speak from experience.
Busy as a fiddler’s elbow. Others, from experience, don’t speak.

—HAROLD W. THOMPSON —ERNEST YOUNG

Grass starched with frost, sand dunes, 1950s
hump backed by the wind.
NOVEMBER 1958
—FAITH BALDWIN
Videomatic
Near the reef, a bell buoy talked to It was a dull, non-network show—
a sort of local anaesthetic.
itself in the dark. —KARL DETZER
—HERB STEIN IN NEW YORK MORNING INQUIRER
The rain ceased
and a watery Television is called a medium
sun sent pale because so little of it is either rare
feelers toward the or well done.
forgotten earth.
—MRS. DEANE BINDER IN THE CATHOLIC DIGEST
—A. J . CRONIN

JULY 1948 1970s

Proverb—a short APRIL 1976
sentence based on
long experience. A butterfly drop stitching its way
across a field.
—CERVANTES
—J. L. STRICKLAND
APRIL 1949
Kites anchored to earth by small boys.
Courtesy is the quality that keeps a
woman smiling when a departing —BONNIE MAY MALODY

38 april 2022

Reader’s Digest

1980s would have straightened shadows
if she could have.
SEPTEMBER 1980
—CHARLES HIGHAM
Clothes Lines
High heels punctuating an exit. A tiny acrobat of hope somersaulted

—BONNIE MAY MALODY

in his chest. —GAIL GODWIN

A belt which has given up trying. He could hear the creaking, heavy
sound of doubt flapping its wings
—B. J. CHUTE slowly overhead.

Ties in a closet with their tongues —WALT SCHMIDT IN LOS ANGELES PAR LABREA NEWS

hanging out. —JIM BISHOP

MARCH 1982 MAY 1997

Happiness is ... That’s rich!
… having a scratch for every itch Late-model white Mercedes Benzes
in the hotel parking lot were lined up
—OGDEN NASH in a long, shiny row like a mouthful of
molars. —SUSAN ORLEAN IN CONDE NAST TRAVELER
… squeezing one more brushful
out of the toothpaste tube. Their house was so big that it was
nine o’clock in the kitchen and
—JESSE W. SUGARMAN, QUOTED BY ALLISON SANDERS eleven o’clock in the dining room.

IN HOUSTON CHRONICLE —TAKI THEODORACOPULOS IN THE SPECTATOR

JULY 1986 He was so rich
that he had a
Ways and Means chauffeured
motor scooter.
You can always recognize an egotist
—ISABEL ALLENDE
by the gleam in his I. —AMY GRIFFIN
Word spread
It’s easy to give up smoking. All you like red wine on
a white tuxedo.
need are will power, determination
—BAXTER BLACK, NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO
and wet matches. —F. F. W

The cause of indigestion is often a
square meal in a round stomach!

—K. RAMAKRISHNA, MADRAS

1990s Deft Definitions
Filing cabinet—a place where you can
MAY 1991 lose things systematically.

To Coin a Metaphor ... —T. HARRY THOMPSON
She had a mania for orderliness; she

readersdigest.in 39

HEALTH

Do You
Have Frozen

Shoulder?

How to diagnose
and treat the

painful condition

By Lisa Bendall

When Katja Edler noticed tive tissue surrounding the shoulder- PHOTO: ©GETTY IMAGES
tightness around her right joint capsule becomes inflamed. Over
shoulder in the summer of time, this tissue thickens and stiffens,
2017, she assumed she’d been spend- causing pain and restricted move-
ing too much time at her desk. A ment. Eventually, even without treat-
44-year-old book editor who lives in ment, the soft tissue will heal. But
Ehningen, Germany, Edler was in recovery can take one to three years—
Dubai for her husband’s job and work- or more. “That’s a long time to live
ing from home. About three months with something so disabling,” says
later, her symptoms worsened: “I got Dr Amar Rangan, a shoulder surgeon
up one morning in a lot of pain and at James Cook University Hospital in
couldn’t lift my arm.” Edler met with Middlesbrough, UK.
an orthopaedist, who took an X-ray
and then identified the problem: She Early treatment improves the symp-
had frozen shoulder. toms faster, but identifying the condi-
tion can be a challenge, since
Also called adhesive capsulitis, the symptoms mimic issues like arthritis
condition affects up to five per cent of and rotary cuff injuries. Another mys-
people and occurs when the connec- tery is why it develops. It’s more likely

40 april 2022

Reader’s Digest

if your shoulder has been immobile— “Some patients develop a big fear of
because of a broken arm, or a stroke, movement,” says McCreesh, “but very
say—or after a jarring fall. But in painful exercise isn’t necessary to see
most cases, the problem seems to benefits.” For example, exercising in
come out of nowhere. Women are a warm pool may feel more soothing.
four times more likely to have frozen
shoulder and people with diabetes, Edler opted for physiotherapy,
thyroid disease, heart disease or auto- going to appointments for six months
immune conditions are at higher risk. and doing prescribed exercises at
home. “With each session, I regained
“It’s surprisingly common in people some movement range and had less
in their 40s to 60s, and prevalent in discomfort,” she says. Today, more
people over the age of 60,” says Karen
McCreesh, a physiotherapist and re- WOMEN ARE FOUR
searcher in Limerick, Ireland. She TIMES MORE LIKELY
says patients typically describe the
discomfort as “burning” and often TO HAVE FROZEN
worse at night. SHOULDER AND
PEOPLE WITH
While it’s rare to have a recurrence DIABETES, THYROID
in the same shoulder, about 10 to 15 DISEASE, HEART
per cent of patients will develop it on
the other side, according to Rangan. DISEASE OR
AUTOIMMUNE
Steroid injections or medications CONDITIONS ARE
like ibuprofen can reduce pain and AT HIGHER RISK.
inflammation, and physiotherapy
is often effective for regaining range than four years after developing
of motion. While the latter is less issues, she has 90 per cent function
invasive and risky than surgical in her shoulder and is pain-free.
options, Rangan recently co-led
a trial showing that both physiother- There remains no known way to
apy and surgery help significantly prevent the condition, which is why
with recovery. His team is also con- an early diagnosis is so important.
ducting research into the inflamma- Rangan suggests “taking your shoul-
tory changes, in the hopes of treating ders through a range of movement
the underlying cause. every day to make sure they don’t
tighten up. If you notice anything,
A 2021 review of studies demon- seek help.”
strated that exercise helps with heal-
ing. It can involve the shoulder if
the person can tolerate it, although
whole-body exercise pays off, too.

readersdigest.in 41

The In 2017, a single sentence reverbe- soifi/shutterstock
rated through the Internet, skidding
FOOD across social media and breathless
ON YOUR blogs: ‘They did surgery on a grape’.
PLATE And they had! A video showed a tiny
robot making delicate incisions in my
I Am Grapes … thin purple skin before pulling back
the translucent layer to reveal my
A Divine Fruit juicy yellow-green flesh below.
to Drink
The video was meant to demon-
By Kate Lowenstein strate the surgical tool’s exacting
and Daniel Gritzer abilities, but the sheer absurdity of
the sentence ‘They did surgery on a
grape’ caught on with millions, and I
became a nonsensical Internet meme.

My popularity long predates my
online fame, of course. After all—I
also become wine! A resident of North
America since before the Pilgrims, my
native varieties (including the North
American fox and scuppernong) were
not great bases for wine, but clusters
of me growing in Asia and Europe sure
were. Early humans there learnt that
given the right conditions, I fermented
well—just harvest my bunches, crush
them to a pulp and let the good times
roll. (It wasn’t until later that modern
microbiology explained that my
skins—if they haven’t been peeled off
by a mini robot—naturally carry the
yeast necessary for fermentation.) The
Romans then spread wine making to
just about every land they conquered.
Perhaps Julius Caesar should have
said veni, vidi, vini.

Alas, this entire wine world was
almost lost in the 1800s. The first
warning signs started with a guy

42 april 2022

Reader’s Digest

matthew cohen named Thomas Jefferson. After HOMEMADE
working in Europe on a diplomatic RAISINS
mission, Jefferson took a keen interest
in French wines and decided to see if Spray a
he couldn’t make good vin stateside baking sheet
at his Monticello estate. He planted with non-stick
European grapevines in his fields, cooking spray.
then watched as they withered and Scatter seedless
died. Though he didn’t know it, pests grapes on the
native to American soil had wreaked pan and cook them
havoc on that European rootstock. in a 107°C (225°F)
oven until they are
More disastrously, curious shriveled but still slightly
Europeans had shipped American plump, about four hours.
grapevines to their shores to do their (How long this takes will
own experimenting. Those vines depend on the type of grapes
carried tiny aphidlike bugs called you use, the heating cycles of your
phylloxeras—likely the same culprits oven, and other variables, so check
in Jefferson’s failed wine-making ven- often.) Allow raisins to cool, then use a
ture. By the late 1800s, the pestilence thin metal spatula to separate any stuck
Jefferson encountered had destroyed ones from the baking sheet.
as much as 90 per cent of European
vineyards, sending a centuries-old out to stop my juice from fermenting
agricultural tradition to ruin. into wine. As a physician, Dr Welch
was aware of Louis Pasteur’s work
The scientists who eventually on pasteurization to render milk safe
figured out how to save Europe’s wine to drink. Dr Welch decided to try
industry added yet another twist to the same thing, but with my juice,
my cross-Atlantic story. Their solution which he heated to kill the yeast that
was to graft Old World wine varietals would otherwise transform it into
on to—wait for it—aphid-resistant alcohol. With that, shelf-stable grape
American rootstock. That’s right : juice was born.
Almost all of the world’s great
European wine drunk today is grown Known first as ‘unfermented wine’,
on American roots. Dr Welch’s product starred at the
1893 world’s fair, and America—on
As the Europeans were grappling the road to Prohibition as it was—was
with the loss of their wine grapes, a hooked. By 1913, Secretary of State
minister, physician and teetotaler William Jennings Bryan served the
in Vineland, New Jersey, Thomas stuff in lieu of alcohol at a formal (and
Bramwell Welch, intolerant of the I’m guessing wildly boring) diplomatic
American penchant for booze, set

readersdigest.in 43

Reader’s Digest

event. Sober adults and kids alike Halloween handout; I know, I
had a sweet new beverage to love know). You may also remember my
(and, as a consequence, a whole lot great pop-culture moment: TV ads
more cavities in their teeth; Dr Welch, starring Claymation members of the
who ironically was also a dentist, popular California Raisins dancing
probably hadn’t predicted that to ‘I Heard It Through the Grapevine’.
unfortunate side effect). The Raisins’ recording of Marvin
Gaye’s hit landed on the Billboard
Though you may not be as gre- Hot 100.
garious afterwards, humans find me
pure pleasure to eat too. Even my These days, the raisin industry is
most conventional varieties, such shriveling, and the number of acres
as the green Thompson seedless of farmed Thompson seedless grapes,
and purple Flame seedless, can be the variety grown for raisins, has
happily popped by the handful into halved in the past 19 years.
your mouth or set on a cheese board
to tame a funky blue. To combat the problem of those
little red boxes disappearing, Sun-
If health is your concern, you may Maid, the company that owns about
want to seek the darker-skinned 40 per cent of the raisin market,
varieties: The deeper-hued pigments recently hired new management,
are the botanical world’s most introduced a sour-raisin product, and
plentiful source of resveratrol, an launched an ad campaign tapping
antioxidant credited with anti-ageing into the nostalgia of this classic snack.
properties (though, frankly, often
overhyped ones). And frankly? If I can’t win in pop
culture, ready-made meme that I am,
Of course, I also come as a I don’t know what can.
mass-produced dried snack, as
generations of schoolchildren know. Kate Lowenstein is a health editor
Anyone who lived through the ’80s currently at Vice; Daniel Gritzer
remembers those small red boxes is the culinary director of the
of raisins (don’t remind me about cooking site Serious Eats.
how I was the most disappointing

Sometimes Life Isn’t a Bowl of Cherries

10-year-old: Mom, what’s a metaphor?
Me: My life is a train wreck.

10-year-old: I know, Mom, but what is a metaphor?

— SardonicTart

44 april 2022

Reader’s Digest

ALL IN

A Day’s Work

1960s advertising’. “How can you send us
three separate accounts for three dif-
AS EDITOR of a small weekly ferent amounts, when we ran three
newspaper, I was cleaning out my identical ads?” he asked. “Our rates,”
characteristically cluttered desk replied the hip adman coolly, “vary
one day when I came across an with the changing of the moon.”
announcement of a blessed event
that had taken place a full two and —TONI TUCKER, NOVEMBER 1970
a half months earlier. I extended be-
lated congratulations to the parents 1980s
via my weekly gossip column, along
with a “glad we could get our felicita- ACTRESS CONSTANCE Cummings
tions in before the young lady starts once told this tale of a theatrical mis-
kindergarten.” The next week I re- hap. An actor in a Broadway play was
ceived this note from the mother: supposed to shoot another dead.
Sorry sir, but you didn’t make it. Three times the gun failed to go off.
Kathy was born six years and Disgusted, the actor kicked the other
two and a half months ago and character with his boot. The victim,
will enter the second form this au- who had been waiting to be killed,
tumn. May I suggest you clean clutched his throat and, ad-libbing,
out your desk more often.” gasped, “Aha, the boot was poisoned!”

—C. M. M, APRIL 1966 —P. R. AND T. P., AUGUST 1981

1970s 1990s

OUR FIRM FREQUENTLY pur- A COUPLE DINING at a restaurant
chases advertising space in the both ordered steak. As the waitress
local alternative (hippie) newspaper, placed their plates on the table, they
and almost always we are confused noticed the strange way she was hold-
when we receive our monthly bill. ing them. “You’ve got your thumbs
on our steaks!” complained the wife.
Recently, our accountant decided “You don’t want me to drop them
to get to the bottom of the situation again, do you?” the waitress replied.
and called the paper’s ‘minister of
REG WELLARD, NOVEMBER 1998

readersdigest.in 45

News From the and packaged foods, bread and
other baked goods are often over-
WORLD OF looked as a viable target for salt re-
MEDICINE duction. According to an American
study out of the University of Illinois,
reducing salt and increasing the
amount of herbs and spices when
you bake could take a big slice out
of sodium intake without sacrificing
taste and leavening ability. If you
bake at home, the researchers sug-
gest using only half the amount of
salt called for in the recipe.

Social Media Can Be Toxic

The Benefits of Baking Last year, a whistleblower from Face- PHOTO: © ADAM GAULT/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY/GETTY IMAGES
with Less Salt book revealed that the social media
giant knew from internal studies that
Globally, people consume an aver- one of its platforms, Instagram, made
age of 10.1 grams of salt per day, people feel worse about themselves,
twice the recommended maximum contributing to increased depression
daily amount, and a rate that raises and anxiety. This was due to con-
the risk for heart and kidney disease, stantly evaluating oneself against
as well as stroke. While much of that others. Perhaps unsurprisingly,
surplus comes from restaurant meals social comparisons are also bad for
your physical health. According to a
study published in the Journal of the
American Heart Association, people
who ranked their social status low in
relation to others had higher blood
pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar
and body mass index, which raised
their risk for heart disease and type 2
diabetes. Since social media makes
comparing yourself to others easier
than ever, researchers suggest join-
ing supportive, inclusive social
groups, whether online or off.

46 april 2022