How are we equipping young women to face their challenges? Are we meeting the needs of young women in our church? What are the messages we are communicating? These are the questions that I posed to you at the H2H luncheon at the 2023 State Convention. In seeking to mother those in our congregations and our lives who desperately need the nurturing heart of an older woman, we continue our focus on intentional mentoring. The challenge has gone forth. Who will you seek to serve by conversing and expressing interest? Holy Spirit has raised her in your heart, will you respond? Yes! Out of obedience, you will move beyond personal comfort. It is our responsibility to pass on what we know, and to empower those growing up behind us. As mentors, we shape and serve the younger ones who are watching and following us. As mothers in the Lord, it is our responsibility to help our daughters achieve more than we could dare to dream so that one generation can build upon the next. We will move Florida Forward as we invest into our daughters, embracing intergenerational leadership. The most important thing we can give them is our AVAILABILITY. It bears repeating: Information without application is stagnation. What if the growth you have anticipated in your congregation was in response to your obedience to mentor a younger woman. What if the trajectory of someone’s life was dependent upon your lifegiving words of encouragement? What if your intentional care of some young lady resulted in her becoming a future leader? What if you responded “Yes” to mentoring? What if you respond “No” and things remain the Because mentoring matters, our new pastors’ wives will realize the benefits of a mentor. Thank you, mentors! Vinnette Hastings (Miami, Centerville) Rosalie Wilson, Mentor Ruth-Ann Ignacio (Melbourne) Aretha Caley, Mentor Pam Parker (Gainesville, Westside) Toni Martinez, Mentor Carrie Roberts (Daytona Beach) Shellie Creasy, Mentor Stephanie Williams (Orlando Orange Center) Romeika Adderley, Mentor SEPTEMBER 2023
When I was young and a brand new Christian, a pastor's wife said something to me about pastoring that in my immaturity, zeal, and lack of experience I totally disagreed with. Later, as I stepped into a pastor's wife role, I truly began to understand what she had meant. It would seem she knew a little bit more about some things than I did and I then realized how wise and helpful she truly had been. She may not have purposely been preparing me for pastoring a couple of years later, but I ended up adopting the truth that she had shared with me that day and still practice it to this day. As I have grown older, I have realized that in order to properly live out the relational truth of the Gospel, I must first let go of myself and my preconceived ideologies of the world around me. In order to mentor others, I had to first be humbled and open enough to be mentored. I had to acknowledge that I didn't know it all, I wasn't always right, and there were many things I didn't understand and that I needed others who could help me with this. It would seem that each generation believes the one before it to be archaic, stuffy, and out of touch with current thoughts and views. At the same time, we view the generation after us as immature, unlearned, and reckless. Culturally, we struggle to understand others thoughts and feelings because we were shaped by a totally different mindset stemming from the norms in which we were raised. If we are to properly demonstrate the truth of the Gospel, we must not only appreciate and learn from those that are different from ourselves but we must open our arms to them and receive what they bring to the table. Hence, we must be willing to be mentored and taught by those who are different than us. As I started to realize that I lacked natural insight into the thoughts and feelings of those different from me, I started to reach out and ask others to teach me from their place and from their heart. I asked women of different ages, women of different cultures, and women with different experiences than me to share their hearts and experiences with me. As these women began to pour into me, what I received was something so much more valuable than mere wisdom, knowledge, or understanding. I received mommas that watched over me, sisters that stood beside me, and daughters that came to me. What I received was an inner circle of women that are now an integral part of my life. I can't imagine this journey without them. I would encourage you today to step out of your comfort zone and reach out for mentors that will come alongside you and strengthen your walk. Actively look about for ladies of all ages that you can then mentor and strengthen. When we join ourselves together we might find that we are not really all that different and in doing so we create an army that the enemy cannot penetrate! We must be willing to be mentored and taught by those who are different than us.
. How sweet a thought that is! The sweetest part is being in the middle where you are nestled between those two protective surfaces. That’s an interesting picture of the place of mentoring in my life. It’s an image that has gained clarity only in hindsight. First, there’s the top half. God placed wonderful Christian women in my life who taught me the importance of faith, family, fellowship and fortitude. It is interesting that the most influential women were typically ten to fifteen years my senior – an aunt, a youth leader, a friend, and a prayer partner. They each appeared in my life as though choreographed to be in the right place at just the right moment. One outstanding trait of each one was their heart to listen, each creating a safe place in which to reveal my struggles and challenges. None tried to lay out a three-step plan to fix my brokenness. They each had learned to gracefully and compassionately point me to Jesus Christ where I could find help in my time of need. Oh, yes, there were times of firm instruction in the Word, and even unwavering correction, but always in the love of the Lord. Looking back over a lifetime, I can now see the hand of God, not only coming to my aid through these precious women, but also teaching me along the way. Were they always aware of their “mentoring”? I’m not sure. But they were, nonetheless, effective in teaching me the ropes, if you will. That brings us to the other half. (Remember, I’m in the middle.) Given the diversity of mentors, I was equipped to respond to a diversity of opportunities to be a mentor. . Joy, the youth leader, taught me much about listening to young people, letting them know that they are truly being heard. Countless hours on the phone sustained me through very difficult years, keeping me focused on Christ. Ruth, a very motherly mentor, taught me to respect and pray for those in authority over me in every arena of life, even when that person may be bringing dishonor to their office of authority (boss, parent, pastor, etc.). Rita was perhaps the most non-critical woman I have ever met. She was clearly discerning, but not in a harsh, or critical way. She taught me volumes about learning to forgive even the most painful of hurts. We became not only the best of friends, but also the best of prayer partners, day in and day out. Hopefully you can appreciate the delight of being an Oreo – sandwiched between the blessing of being mentored, and the joy of being a mentor. How sweet it is! Heart 2 Heart sweet! Pat was one of the panelists at the H2H luncheon. She was licensed as a minister in 1983 and has served in various positions at the local, district, and regional level. She served for eleven years as a volunteer Chaplain at the Men’s State Prison in Concord, NH. In 1995, Patricia was appointed to the pastorate of the Manchester, NH, where she served for 25 years, retiring in 2021. Concurrent with the pastorate, she served for 23 years as Chaplain for the Hooksett, NH Fire Rescue Department. Following the Lord’s leading, she moved to Leesburg, FL where she now serves as Pastor of Outreach and Christian Education at Leesburg.
It was a heart-to-heart connection. To mentor is to equip and to equip well. You must be open to the good, the bad, and willing to hear things you need to hear but do not want to hear. Preparation for the now and the future. My mentor chose me, and it made all the difference in my life. I am not sure I could have chosen a better mentor. I did not know, what I did not know. God sent me the most loving, kindest, mentor I could ever image. A loving Pastorette Trish “Momma V.” so mighty and full of God’s love and counsel. She was a powerful intercessor and full of discernment. Psalms 33:11 rings in my ears, “The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans for His heart from generation to generation.” Verily, I do believe God’s love was shared boldly unto me. I still remember the moments of being chosen. As I reflect on these moments, I feel the surrounding peace once again. Statements spoken that one could have thought were questions, but they were statements. “Come, sit with me!” Then came the hand that reached out and guided me to the location to have a seat. The conversation, the laughs, and vulnerability of sharing life. “Stay with me; we are going to lunch.” Then, as I started to depart in my own car. “We will see you in a few minutes.” It was direct and purposeful. The lunch progressed to meeting in her home and ultimately to see a way of life unknown to me and to guide me along this unknown path but this most wonderful path with God as my compass. I had no idea, when the mentorship started that I was even being mentored, but it became my next thought of wanting to share, to be shown, to have guidance to understand, and put it to action. I would hear the stories through preaching and teachings of Jesus’ miracles, encouragement, and alignment of your life with God’s word. I would hear how the prayers would go up and the glory would come down. Trying to understand this new place I found myself. Surely my mentor knew I needed to be a mentee. There was correction, counseling, and calming my storms. Momma V. seemed to know what I was unfolding as we talked. The greatest of all things, was this love from the Father that was poured into me through my mentor, and it fell on me, and it made all the difference. God’s plans, consistency, making decisions, immutability of God, the eternal truth. God’s promise of guidance, and His divine heart was shared. It came with a lot of “Wait, wait, wait” … translating to “Let me process the abundance of new information to which I was recently provided access with.” I remember after hearing about how the floors of the churches and homes would vibrate with the very prayers sent up. I wanted to learn more about prayer. There was a call one night shortly after I mentioned this desire. “What are you doing tonight? Come over have dinner with us.” After dinner came prayer time and we prayed!!! The glory of God came into the room. My prayer life changed forever. This became something I would cherish dearly and this interaction would occur a couple of times a month as we joined together and broke bread. I shared what was going on in life, my excitement, my tears, and soaked up the guidance. There are things I was not prepared for that she tried to prepare me for. One, I remember clearly, I was not always going to have good days. Everything surely felt amazing for a long while like I was floating. There would be down days and God would be there in that same capacity he was on my best days. I was not prepared for my mentors passing to her heavenly award. Nor was I prepared to be handed one of her bibles. I later found a note in it that said, "My Dear Amy, fight the good fight, continue on, what has rested on me I pass on to you." I felt heavy and joy in the same moment upon its reading. I carry her sword with me on many ministry traveling occasions. The handwriting notes still teaching me and pointing me like a compass. I have eight things to share that a Christian mentor should strive to do: (1) Listen. (2) Intercede. (3) Model. (4) Ask questions. (5) Teach. (6) Set the pace. (7) Involve their mentee with other Christians. (8) Give options, not answers, with compass pointing towards the heavenly Father. Mentoring is practice that involves a relational process and values passed from one generation to another. The Bible gives example after example as mentoring was a primary means of passing on faith, knowledge, skill and remains a means of passing on the torch of faith from generation to generation. Who are you mentoring? Do you have a mentor? Reach out and make a connection.
Mentoring when done right, allows for the mentee and the mentor to create a strong relationship that is beneficial to both. Effective mentorship requires building trust, and Romeika did that with me. I can talk to her about anything whether it’s personal or ministry related. I have learned a lot from her, when I became a pastor’s wife. Romeika is a people person; she is able to connect with anyone. One of the greatest values for having a good mentor is the ability they have to see ahead, what others cannot see. Romeika offers encouragement, which motivated me to keep moving forward despite challenges I had to face in the last couple of years. On top of her becoming my mentor, our husbands also became good friends. I am now even connected with her parents. I believe that mentoring is a great way to invest in other people’s lives, and to create more non-blood relatives. I love my mentor, and I am planning on keeping her. Lady Romeika was assigned as Lady Ivencia’s mentor when she became a new pastor’s wife several years ago. This mentorship has birthed a friendship that will last a lifetime. This is the impact of Mentoring Moments, an initiative of H2H whereby we pair up a brand new pastor’s wife with a seasoned pastor’s wife for enrichment purposes. Thank you, Lady Romeika, for your investment. 1. AFFIRMATION—We develop a send of self-worth when others affirm us. 2. CONSULTATION—When decisions need to be made, a ‘trusted other’ can be counted on to listen and advise. 3. CONSOLATION—As life introduces pain and loss, everyone needs to be consoled and comforted. 4. RECOGNITION— Everyone deserves to be ‘seen’ and known. 5. CONVERSATION—Listening and talking, understanding, and being understood is life-enhancing. Relationships are important because of the benefits we receive from them. Our communion, our being joined together allows us to converse. Even when we remain silent, we communicate information, feelings, and opinions in a never-ending flow of care. Over 30 pastors’ wives have currently committed to the call of intentional mentor. The quality of your relationship depends on the depth of your investment. Be a mentor. Find a mentor.