Eric Boskati

from the sink and put his left hand around his abdomen like
someone suffering from stomach cramps. As he was making
his way to the living room, his movements and steps were
slow as if he was in agony.“Please, God. Please don’t do this to
me, please,” he pleaded and this time his entire body was now
soaked in sweat.The newspaper clippings from Lizzie’s house
fell out his pocket. He picked them up and leaned against the
doorway. He put his phone on the kitchen table and unfolded
one of the newspaper clippings.

His hand was visibly shaking but he managed to straighten
one newspaper clip. He read the caption that was in bold
letters: “A five-year old boy was shot by a stray bullet.”
He felt as if he was about to collapse. His knees were buckling
under his weight and he leaned against the doorway to gain
some balance. He started reading the article. The article was
dated eight years ago.

“Early this morning, police responded to a call after members of
the community in Thokoza township, East Rand, were awakened in
the early hours of the morning by gun shots between two rival gangs.
On arrival, the police found themselves amid an exchange of gunfire
between the two rival gangs. After thirty minutes, four gang members
were found dead. Five were wounded and taken to hospital whilst the
other members escaped and are still at large. Sadly, the body of a five-
year old boy was discovered on the scene by one of the police officers
with a gun wound to his chest. At the time of going to press, it was
not clear who between the police and the rival gangs shot the boy.”

Tembani collapsed and fell flat to the floor.Two minutes
passed as he was still on the floor.When he came to, he tried to
stand but fell again. Defeated, he crawled his way to the living
room area.When he got closer to the couch, he grabbed the

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arm-rest and, leaning against it, worked himself up. His knees
were wobbling and he quickly threw himself onto the couch.
For a few minutes he laid there trying to figure out what
was happening. He looked around trying to get a sense of
his surroundings but couldn’t quite get a grip of where he
was or what was happening to him. He laid there for another
few minutes and when he looked around again, there were
more newspaper clippings on the couch and on the floor. He
was not sure where he got them and why they were there.
He picked them up again and unfolded all of them one at
a time. One caption read: “Family of the five-year old
boy snub the policer officer who killed him.” Tembani
unfolded another one and read the caption, “Mother of the
slain five-year old boy admitted to hospital for clinical
depression.”

“Oh my God, what is this? What is happening?” He was
shivering. He tried to pull himself together, but his mind
couldn’t cope. His head started spinning. When he tried to
stand up, he came crashing down with a thud. He turned and
twisted all the while mumbling something inaudible. He laid
on the floor for a few seconds trying to regain his strength.
A few seconds later he tried again to stand up but failed.
“This is not true. This is not happening,” he said to himself.
“It’s a dream.Yeah, it’s a nightmare, a bloody nightmare,” he
muttered. He looked outside through the window. The sun
was still up but his mind told him it was dark. He squinted
his eyes and looked again.“Liar, its night time and it’s a damn
nightmare.” Sweat and tears soaked his face and he started
crying. “What is happening to me? What is this?” With his
right fist, he banged the floor three times until his knuckles

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hurt. “What’s wrong with me?” He gave a loud scream and
began to sob uncontrollably. Then there was a knock on the
door. Tembani could hardly hear it. The knock came again,
this time a little louder. He stopped groaning and called,
“Lizzie?”The door opened and a middle-aged woman came
in.“Tembani what’s wrong?” asked the lady.Tembani tried to
look up to see who it was but couldn’t. “Lizzie?” he called
again.“Where are you?”The lady looked around and saw his
phone on the kitchen table. She picked it up and dialled the
last dialled number.

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Chapter XVIII

Lizzie watched Talitha pushing the big gate wide
open. “That will do it. It’s okay,” she said and slowly
eased her foot off the accelerator.The car slowly entered the
driveway and once within range of the house she stopped and
switched off the engine. She got out and went to the trunk of
the car.“Auntie, you forgot to buy me the crayons I asked for,”
said Talitha, rushing to the trunk of the car.
“I haven’t forgotten, dear; they’re in the plastic bags.”
Talitha went through the grocery bags looking for her crayons.
“Don’t do that, Talitha. Take the plastic bags inside
first. The crayons are there.” The two took turns offloading
groceries from the car until there were no more.“I’ll unpack
them later. I need to rest a little.You can check your crayons
now.”The plastic bags were scattered all over the kitchen floor.
Lizzie looked at them, shrugged her shoulders, and went to
the living room. She slouched on the couch. happy that she
had done all that she had planned for the day. Just then, her
phone rang.“What is it now?” She picked it up and looked at
the screen. It was an incoming call from Tembani. She tapped
the green button to accept the call. “Hello?” said the voice

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on the other end of the receiver.To Lizzie’s shock, the voice
was that of a woman. “This is Mpumie. I’m calling you from
Tembani’s phone. I’m his neighbour and Tembani is not well
here.There’s something wrong with him.”

“Something wrong?” asked Lizzie, shaken.
“Yes.Tembani is not alright, sisi. I can’t tell what’s wrong
with him, but he doesn’t look good.”
“I don’t understand.”
“When I got here, he was crying.When I ask him what’s
wrong, he keeps on calling for Lizzie.”
“Where is he now?”
“He’s here in his house. Lying on the floor, crying.”
“What happened?”
“I have no idea, lovey. Like I said, he’s not saying anything.
He’s just calling for Lizzie.”
“I’m Lizzie.”
“If you’re Lizzie, you need to come quickly and see for
yourself. Maybe he’ll tell you what’s wrong with him.”
“Oh my God! I don’t even know where he’s staying.”
“I’ll send you the location.You need to hurry.”
“Okay, then. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Please, my dear.” With her hands shaking, Lizzie put
the phone down on the coffee table. Her mind was racing.
She was trying to figure out what was wrong with Tembani.
The lady had said he was crying. Tembani was not the type
who’d just cry unless something very bad has happened.What
could it be? She then remembered his son. She told herself
that he must have passed away. She couldn’t find any other
reason other than the death of his son. Her phone beeped and
when she looked at the screen it was the location the lady had

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promised. Lizzie called for Talitha in the other room. When
she came, she told her they were visiting one of her friends in
Khayelitsha, Litha Park. “I was busy with my drawings. Do I
have to go too?”

“Yes, you have to go. I can’t leave you here by yourself.”
“Which friend in Khayelitsha, auntie?”
“Boetie Tembani.You still remember him.”
“The one who was here the other day? When the police
were shooting the bad guys?” asked Talitha, still busy with her
drawings.
“Yeah, that’s the one. Come on, let’s go now.” She picked
up the house keys and closed the front windows. She went
to the kitchen to make sure that the kitchen door was also
closed and waited for Talitha to come back from her room.
A few minutes later, both exited the house. Lizzie locked the
front door and rushed to her car with her niece following
right behind her.

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Chapter XIX

On the freeway Lizzie’s driving was as smooth as
a hot knife through butter. However, when she
offramped to join the Mew Way road to Khayelitsha, she
began to panic. Mew Way road was one of the busiest roads in
Khayelitsha. Local taxi drivers often bullied motorists. If you
weren’t careful enough, chances are that your car might end
up with a scratch or dent.
The Global Positioning System augmented her panic
and made her super scared. She had to painstakingly pay full
attention to it.“In five hundred meters, turn left.” Lizzie made
sure not to miss the instructions. “In two hundred meters,
turn right,” continued the GPS. All the while, her mind was
still trying to figure out what could really be wrong with
Tembani.“In five hundred meters, turn right.” Lizzie followed
the instructions to the tee. She was driving slowly, anxious not
to miss any turning points as per the GPS instructions.Talitha
sat quietly in the backseat, busy with her drawings.
Lizzie understood Tembani’s pain. To lose his son must
really be emotionally devastating for him.Tembani had hoped
to spend quality time with his son. The loss of a loved one
so young was a pain Lizzie was all too familiar with. She

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remembered when she lost her son. The tragedy turned her
life upside down, and even today she didn’t know how she
pulled through the ordeal. The more Lizzie thought about
Tembani’s assumed loss of his son, the more she felt pity for
him.To say Tembani had met his son would be a lie. He had
only seen him. His wish was to talk to his son and for his son
to talk back to him. The prospects of fatherhood were now
gone, never to return, thought Lizzie as she paid attention to
the GPS voice.“Your destination is on the left.” Following the
instruction Lizzie slowed down her car.Through the window
she looked for house number 443 on her left. She found it
and stopped the car close to the gate. She switched off the
engine and told Talitha to wait for her in the car.“This is not
Langa.This is Khayelitsha.”

“I’ll wait for you and do my drawings.”
“I’m coming back just now.” Lizzie got out of the car and
went through the gate until she reached the front door of the
house. She knocked once and the door opened. A middle-
aged woman welcomed her.“Please come inside, dear.” Lizzie
came inside and Tembani was still lying on the floor, groaning
like a wounded animal. “Oh my God!” said Lizzie looking
down at him. Her hands were on her mouth. “This is how I
found him,” said the middle-aged woman who called herself
Mpumie.“He’s been calling for you.” Lizzie kneeled to have a
better look of him.“Tembani?...Tembani?” she called out, but
Tembani remained as he was, still groaning.
“I’ll leave you two to it. If you need me, I’m right next
door.”
“It’s okay, Mpumie; I’ll see what I can do.Thank you very
much for all the effort. I’ll surely speak to you later.”

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“You’re welcome…see you then…bye”
“Bye.”

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Chapter XX

Lizzie looked at Tembani for a few minutes while
trying to figure out how to handle the situation. He
looked pitiful lying and groaning on the floor. All around
him were the newspaper clippings she had given him. She
picked all of them up and put them on top of the coffee table.
“Tembani…Tembani…Tembani?” she called, but Tembani
was inattentive and still groaning. Lizzie held up his hands and
tried to pull him up. She could only manage to lift his hands,
his entire body remaining on the floor. She turned him over
on his back and shook him by his cheeks.“Tembani, come on
now…Tembani get up.” She went to the kitchen and brought
a glass of water. She splashed him with the water on his face.
Tembani wriggled his face and looked up at Lizzie. “Come
on now,” said Lizzie, trying to lift him up again, this time her
arms under his armpits. Tembani responded and slowly tried
to stand. Lizzie put him on the couch and he fell onto his side.
Then he called her name.“Lizzie…Lizzie? Is that you?”
“Yes, it’s me, Tembani.” Tembani tried to sit straight but
fell again on his side. Lizzie helped him to sit still. “Tell me
what is happening,Tembani?”
“Forgive me, Lizzie. Please forgive me.”

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“Forgive you for what? What have you done?”
“Forgive me, Lizzie.” Lizzie’s mind was now confused.
She had assumed all along that Tembani was crying over the
death of his son. Now this plea for forgiveness threw her off
the rails.“What is it that you have done,Tembani?” she asked
again. Lizzie stood up and went to the kitchen. She poured
another glass of water and stirred two teaspoons of sugar into
it. She brought the glass of water to the lounge and gave it to
him.“Here; please drink.”To her surprise,Tembani took it and
drank it in one gulp.
Sitting next to him Lizzie stretched her arm over his
shoulders and rocked him.“It’s going to be alright…it’s going
to be alright.” She didn’t know what she was talking about.
Her mind told her impending gloom or doom was hovering
over their lives, that a psychological storm was not far off from
striking their lives. If not dealt with adequately, it would rip
their lives into shreds. She had been through a lot lately, she
told herself. This time around, however, she vowed to stand
her ground. For reasons unknown to her, she seemed to have
found within herself some kind of courage, some form of
strength, something thatshe was not aware of all along. She
told herself that unlike before, she was not going to run in fear
or recoil in despair nor surrender in defeat. No matter what
it was that was threatening their lives, she was going to fight
it. She was tired of self-pity and to hell with her precarious
psychological state of mind, as her psychiatrist would often
say. Her story of being a victim of circumstance had to end
here and now. Her arm still around Tembani’s shoulders, she
heard herself saying once again, “It’s going to be alright…I
promise you, babe.”

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“Lizzie?” came Tembani’s cool voice.To Lizzie’s surprise,
there were now no tears in his eyes. No groaning or sobbing.
She looked at him and said,“I’m here, my love.What’s wrong?”

“Lizzie?” repeated Tembani.
“Yes, my love?”
“Please forgive me. Please forgive me.”
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Can you forgive me, Lizzie?”
“Yes, I forgive you,Tembani.”There were tears in Lizzie’s
eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong.” Tears were rolling down her
cheeks.
“I’m a killer, Lizzie.” He pulled Lizzie’s soft hands and
held them in his.“I’m a killer, Lizzie. Please forgive me.”
“I’ve forgiven you, Tembani.” She wiped the tears from
her eyes.
“I killed your son,” he said and pointed to the newspaper
clippings on the coffee table. Lizzie looked at the newspaper
clippings, then at Tembani.“It was me, Lizzie, who killed your
son,” said Tembani, tears rolling down his face.
“No,Tembani it can’t be.”
“I killed your son, Lizzie.”
“That police officer is in Jo’burg, Tembani.” Her arms
were still around Tembani’s shoulders.
“I resigned and moved to Cape Town.”
“Oh please, God…Tembani, no!” She pulled herself
away from Tembani and gave a loud scream that cut through
Tembani’s heart like an arrow through a wounded deer.
Tembani looked miserable and helpless. “Forgive me Lizzie.”
He tried to reach out for her, but Lizzie moved away from
him, screaming, “No…no…no Tembani.” He stood up from

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where he was sitting, got closer to Lizzie, and pulled her to his
chest, but Lizzie repelled him. Then all of a sudden she beat
him hard on his chest with her fists, screaming, “Why...why
Tembani...but why?” Tembani pulled her again toward him.
This time there was no resistance and like a baby Lizzie laid
comfortably on Tembani’s chest and continued to sob.

“I’m so, so sorry, Lizzie. Please forgive me.” Her long
arms were around Tembani’s waist.“Forgive me, please, Lizzie.
I should have known better.” Softly he massaged her back and
began to sob too. For about two minutes, neither Lizzie nor
Tembani said anything. The silence was only punctuated by
their sorrowful sobs.Then Lizzie pulled away from Tembani’s
arms. She wiped the tears from her red eyes and looked
at him. “I’ve forgiven you. I’ve forgiven you,” she said in a
determined but soft voice.Tembani pulled her hand and kissed
it on the back.They both looked at each other for a moment
or so.Then Lizzie pulled Tembani towards her and gave him
a strong hug before kissing him on the lips. The two locked
themselves in an intense kiss without moving their lips. Lizzie
pulled away and looked at him again. “Remember what you
said the other day? When I said we don’t know each other
that well?” she asked him.

“I’ve said a lot, Lizzie,” said Tembani apologetically.
“You said we’ll fix each other as we go along.”Tembani
nodded.“Yeah, I do remember that.”
“That is exactly what we’re going to do.You feel me?”
“I love you, Lizzie.”
“I love you too,Tembani.”
“There’s something else I need to tell you.”
“Now is the time…go ahead.”

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“That boy I shot in your house?” Tembani was shaking
his head, not believing what he was about to say.

“Yeah?” Lizzie looked at him, very worried.
“He’s my son,” he said, holding back tears.
“What?” asked Lizzie, her hands on her head.
“I’m telling you.”
“No,Tembani, it can’t be!” Lizzie began to cry.
“The worst part,” said Tembani, “is that he died this
afternoon.”
“Oh my God.” Lizzie collapsed and fell to the floor.This
startled Tembani. Confused and in a panic, he knelt beside
her and tried to awaken her by shaking her head. “Lizzie…
Lizzie?” Lizzie was motionless.Tembani stood up and went to
the corner of the room. Not knowing what to do, he switched
on the fan. He was sweating. He thought about calling an
ambulance, but his mind told him he was overreacting.
Again, he kneeled and tried to bring her back.There was no
movement. Overwhelmed, he called her name again.“Lizzie...
Lizzie? Please don’t do this. Lizzie, please.” He was crying. He
took out his phone and dialled the emergency number for
an ambulance. The phone rang and rang until it got to the
automated response. The lines were busy. Tembani was told
to hang on as his call would soon be attendant to. Frustrated
by the whole situation and still crying, he tried to recall what
they were taught at the police academy regarding first aid.
He wiped the tears rolling down his face as he remembered
something called CPR. Then all of a sudden Lizzie opened
her eyes and soon after started coughing.Tembani ran to the
kitchen and poured her a glass of water. He helped her sit up
on the couch then gave her the water. Lizzie drank the water,

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pausing now and then until she finished the whole glass.
She looked tired and disoriented. She asked Tembani where
she was. Tembani came closer and hugged her. “You’re right
here…here with me baby.”

“What happened?” asked Lizzie regaining consciousness.
“It’s not important, baby.You just need to relax.”
“You said your son is dead? Oh my God.”
“Lizzie, you need to relax. You’re stressing your mind
now.”
“I feel so guilty.”
“Guilty?” asked Tembani, a little perplexed.
“You were protecting me when you shot him,Tembani.”
Lizzie threw herself at Tembani. Tembani held her in a
comforting embrace. There were tears in his eyes. A few
seconds later she pulled away. Tembani wiped the tears from
his eyes.
“I don’t know what to say, Tembani…this is way too
much.”
“Like you said, we’ll fix each other as we go along.”Tears
were rolling down his face.
“Perhaps we should not have met,” she said, her face a
little concerned.
“Don’t say that, Lizzie,” retorted Tembani.
“Ingxaki is that I love you as if I have never loved before,”
she said her soft hands wiping tears off Tembani’s face.
He regarded her for a second or two then said, “God
knows why we met.”
“How did you find out he’s your son?”
“I had asked them to send me his pictures.When I looked
at them, they were the exact copy of the boy I looked in the

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face and shot in the chest.”
“And this?” She pointed at the newspaper clippings.
“Everything in these clippings is what happened in

Jo’burg. All of it was the reason why I resigned and came to
Cape Town. I remember when I tried to meet you or your
family, they referred to you as Linda and not Lizzie.”

“Yeah.The name Linda came from my father and Liziwe
is the name I was given by my grandma. Officially I’m Linda
and in social circles I’m known as Lizzie from Liziwe.”

“Had you kept your official name in Cape Town, things
could have been different.”

“Are you sure?”
“Not really, Lizzie. All of this is just too overwhelming
for me.”
“For both of us,Tembani.”
“You’re right.”
“We’ll fix each other as we go along.”
“Maybe you’re right,” he said in deep thought.
“What now?” asked Lizzie, noticing the seriousness on
his face. Tembani turned and looked at her. “This is very
funny, you know? I’ve always wanted to meet you. Each night
I prayed to God to give me the opportunity to meet you. Just
to say how sorry I was.The guilt of taking your son from you
was haunting me each night I went to bed.”
“God has answered you, Tembani,” said Lizzie in a soft
comforting tone.Tembani nodded with tears streaming down
his face. He gave a deep sigh and said,“This is mind-boggling.”
“God is amazing,Tembani.”
“Do you still believe we should not have met?”
“I wish I knew the answer to that.” He pulled her closer

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and cupped her face in his hands. “The problem is…I love
you to death,” and softly kissed her on her lips.

She reciprocated his kisses and heard him say, “I wish I
knew what the word love meant.”

“What about it?” she asked, still kissing him.
“Everything about it, Lizzie,” he said in a low tone. “We
both lost our children, but look where we are.”
“That reminds me of the poet Sakhumzi Gidiza, where
in his poem titled Our Love he says,“Born in pain, raised in grief
but lived in bliss.”
“I didn’t know you liked poetry?”
“We don’t know each other that well, Tembani,
remember?”
“Enough to live in bliss, I guess.”
“I hope so. Let me go and check on Talitha. I left her
in the car when I came in.” She stood up, looked Tembani
in the eye, and kissed him one last time. “Love you,” she said
and made her way out of the house. Tembani looked at her
as she closed the door behind her. He wondered if there was
anything real or true about the word ‘love’.What if it was an
illusion? Perhaps the true meaning of love can only be told by
those who claim to be in it. Just like in his case with Lizzie.
He didn’t care whether it was real or an illusion. What he
felt inside to him was love in its purest form and he was sure
Lizzie felt the same way too. He recalled the lines Lizzie had
just quoted from the poem and reversed them:“Love…born in
bliss…raised in joy…always end up in grief.” It was a good thing
that their love was born in pain and raised in grief so that it
may well end up in bliss.

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END

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