merged (2)

‫בס'ד‬

‫אין לנו על מי להשען אלא על אבינו שבשמים‬

We have no one to lean on other than our Father in Heaven

Read, learn, become Inspired and Share with
Others!

"‫"השם רעי לא אחסר‬

Niagra Falls

Wonderful World of Wonders

Page 6

Faith and

Health Issues seem Insurmountable

Without the Love of Family.

My mom was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis almost 20 years ago, when I
was 10 years old. In 2007 she went to the doctor for a routine check-up. She
was then diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer, an extremely aggres-
sive form of the cancer. When she got her diagnosis, she was scheduled to
take her car to the shop that afternoon. Her response to the doctor was, “I’m
sorry, I have an oil change this afternoon.” Her perspective never changed
and she valiantly fought through intense rounds of chemo and radiation, and
beat the odds. Two years later, on April 27th 2010, my mom was diagnosed
with Acute Myeloid Leukemia, a 15% chance of survival, caused by the che-
mo treatment she had from breast cancer. She entered the hospital that day,
and did not return home until December 22. I was her bone marrow donor,
and knew in my heart from the moment she was diagnosed that I would be her match and she would make it through this fight.
She went on life support, she went off life support, she went on, she went off. Her kidneys failed, her heart failed, her lungs filled
with fluid, her body was ravaged with infection. One year to the day, my mother is not a miracle. The power of our family sur-
rounding her with love and faith prevailed. My mom has not rejected my marrow, her cancer is in remission, and in the end,
because she now carries my immune system instead of her own, she no longer has multiple sclerosis. My mom, my dad, my
sister, and I; we all had our jobs and roles in this journey. None of us would have made it without the devotion from the others.

4 Roeinu / Menachem Av 5777 / July 2017

d F a m i l ybyBerelCBrody

This week’s Column deals with two dramatic cases of special peo-
ple who overcame their adversities in life thanks to much needed

support from family members.

A Learning Disability Is Far Scarier When the
Person Desperately Wants to Learn

As a child, my broth- to visit his yeshiva. It was Tu B’Shvat and the rebbe was
er studied in a Chasidic handing our fruit to all the boys. A treat that my brother
Talmud Torah. He was wasn’t ready for was that each boy was given a chance to
struggling day after day in ask the rebbe for a blessing. Chaim turned to my father
his Hebrew studies. One bewildered, “What should I ask the rebbe? My dear fa-
day, when his third grade ther who knew just what to say at these impromptu mo-
rebbi was very frustrat- ments responded, “Ask whatever it is that you want!”
ed with him, he yelled at When it was Chaim’s turn to approach the rebbe for his shiray-
him in Yiddish, “Bizt ah im of Tu B’Shvat fruit, my brother blurted out with confidence,
leimineh goilem” i.e. “You “Ich vill kenen lernen!” i.e. “I want to know how to learn!”.
are an earthen clay fool!” The rebbe blessed him that this would be so. And so it was.
My brother returned home Immediately Chaim began to thrive academically and
that evening and tear- within a year he was at the top of his class with the ad-
fully repeated his rebbi’s miration of all his classmates as well as the staff. At the
words to my father a’h, time of his Bar Mitzvah, Chaim went on to an out of
who told him, “Chaim, tomorrow you aren’t going back to town high school where he continued to be a top mas-
this yeshiva.” This was confirmed the following morning, mid . His thirst for Torah knowledge was phenomenal
when the yeshiva was honored with a personal visit from my and he earned the the love and respect of all his rabbeim.
angry father who formally had him removed from the stu- A father is the head of the family. Some have gone through life
dent class list. Just to make it official. And unforgettable. without one. Chaim was fortunate that his father had strong
That same day, my brother, with a speech impedi- faith in Hashem that his son was not a lost case but rather a dia-
ment and discernable learning disability along with mondinneedofpolishing. Chaimpassedawayatage31,leaving
our father enrolled in a yeshivah with small classes. behind a 3 year old son who never had someone to champion
The following year the Klausenburger Rebbe zt’l arrived his cause with the same tenacity that his grandfather showed.

Menachem Av 5777 / July 2017 /Roeinu 5

Chizzuk & Inspiration

By Shulem Greenberger

HEAVENLY HURDLES
When confronted with inexplicable resistance to our desired ac-
tivities throughout life, our response varies depending on the sion but does not allow a mental health hurdle to derail his otherwise pro-
quality of our moral fiber. From early childhood, our char- ductive life. How can we comprehend the pain of the Jewish mother who,
acter is starkly apparent to our parents and educators, who through no fault of her own, anxiously beseeches Hashem for mercy so
are entrusted with the noble responsibility of molding us into fine human that her wayward child returns to the fold? Acute and persistent emotional
beings. By the time we reach adolescence the clash between our ingrained and/or physical pain can be quite frightful and daunting. Those who have
character traits and the rearing we are exposed to either creates friction- not been tested, thank G-d, should never know from such travails. Yet,
friction, which entails spiritual and emotional casualties, or the successful those among us who have faced the fearful world of the unknown when
formation of a special young man or woman. Obviously, the outcome of the only thing apparent to them is suffering, and have nevertheless with-
this exercise in of raising children is stood the test of time and persevered, deserve our greatest admiration.
depends on a formula that is highly
complex, since in addition to the vari- Serving Hashem under great duress while lovingly accepting the
ables of the child in question and the heavenly yoke with an extra dose of faith is what genuine heroes
quality of his upbringing, there is also, are made of. Just like the gold medalist who sprints a thousand
most importantly, the hand of Hash- yards while leaping over hurdles that are placed before him, sim-
em that ultimately guides each young ilarly the Torah observant Jew who maintains, to the best of his/
soul towards their destiny. This path is her ability, the demanding regimen of a true servant of Hashem
more often than not riddled with “ups is a genuine champion in his own right.
and downs” that define the character Actually, this concept is not necessarily limited to
of the budding individual. those afflicted with an ailment. Rather each and every Jew, when
One facet of our daily interactions faced with adversity, is a contestant in life’s race to the finish line.
with people in varying situations is We each have our own unique and distinct race track, with cus-
our reaction to our inability to con- tom-made nisyonos that can only be overcome by us. Each time
trol or predict the outcome of circum- a Jew makes the conscious decision to refrain from speaking or
stances that are even seemingly within listening to loshon horah, he/she is a hero/heroine like few oth-
our control. A central theme in the ers.
lessons of emunah is our obligation to If we fail and knock over the proverbial hurdle instead
view, what we perceive as, obstacles masterfully orchestrated by Hashem, of overcoming it, there is always another one awaiting our next
to instead be accepted as hurdles. An obstacle is like a n intransigent wall attempt while we refresh and regroup for ultimate success. The
that one cannot, under natural circumstances, clear. On the other hand, key to becoming a super spiritual athlete is to borrow one more sports
hurdles are like the bar-like apparatus that Olympic athletes jump over as cliché. Every single successful athlete always relied heavily on a dedicated
they race toward it at well over 20 miles per hour. Each time they lunge professional coach. In avodas Hashem we are all in need of some serious
over these strategically placed hurdleshurdles, they prove their extraordi- coaching. As kids we benefit much from the loving guidance of our par-
nary talent, stamina, and skill. So too, Hashem does not want us to devel- ents but as we grow older we learn to trust a spouse, a friend and a rebbe
op a stagnant spiritual odyssey. Rather He continuously refines our souls so that our own murky and biased judgment does not lead us astray.
through personalized hurdles of our own. Even among our holy Torah leaders much pain and sorrow abounded
My ancestors, like countless others of their generation, rebuilt in their personal lives. One would never know it, observing how they served as the
their Jewish families from the smoldering ashes. Literally. This un- selfless shepherds of our previous generation’s flock of pained orphans. The late
breakable spirit, rooted in a deep and profound faith faith of Hash- Satmar Rebbe zt’l and Belzer Rebbe zt’l lost their children during their lifetime to
em, had at its core a clear understanding that defeat and surrender
was never an option. Just as the toddler rises to his feet each and illness and genocide, while the Lubavich-
every time he falls with the indomitable spirit of “yes, I can,” that er Rebbe zt’l passed away childless. We
Hashem implanted in his little heart, so too, men and women of cannot fathom how much it would have
valor get up every single morning to face the challenges of an on- meant to these gedolei hador to pass on
coming day despite the absence of any guarantees of being spared their holy legacy, not only to their hun-
from the pain that may lie ahead.We all know at least one person dreds of thousands of followers but also
who bravely tackles the ostensibly insurmountable difficulties that to their own children. Just as Avrohom
hamper them. Be it our uncle who has been jobless for well over a Avinu wanted to promulgate the glory of
year and, with all the shame that he endures, still heartily rejoices Hashem through his own progeny, our
when he meets up with his nephews and nieces. Or our devoted last century’s greatest leaders obviously
brother, wrestling with chemotherapy treatments and painful pro- hoped for the same. Alas, it was not to be.
cedures, and still never misses a minyan and guards his tongue with Hashem placed this painful hurdle before
the utmost vigilance. Our cousin is struggling with clinical depres- them and their love for Him and His chil-
dren was the one thing that rose above the
pain in their hearts. They all brilliantly
shone upon our generation a beacon of
spiritual light that continues to guide our
path toward the final redemption.

2 Roeinu / Menachem Av 5777 / July 2017

‫תפילה‬
Excerpts from the book by
Rabbi Eliezer L. Abish
THE BNEI YISSASCHAR, Rav Tzvi Elimelech of
Dinov, had a very unusual custom; every morn- enough, payment day arrived and the poor couple
ing by davening, he would simultaneously use did not even have half the amount. The poritz was
two siddurim. What made this custom even infuriated and flew into a mad rage. He or-
more peculiar was that he did not actually daven from both dered his soldiers to grab the husband and
siddurim. Both were open on his table in front of him, lock him up in his dungeon, and warned the
but the Bnei Yissaschar only davened from one of them! wife that she has two weeks to get the money.
One day, one of his chassidim mustered up the courage Unfortunately, when she did not bring him the
to question the rebbe about his unusual custom. The reb- money two weeks later, he had the husband,
be was more than happy to offer the following explana- wife, and their three children killed. He de-
tion to the small crowd that quickly formed around him. cided to keep their fourth and youngest child,
Many years ago, there was a simple, middle-aged cou- a nine-month-old infant boy, for himself and
ple who rented an inn from the local poritz. Business was his wife to raise as their own child. The
very difficult; most of the money they earned went towards boy grew up on the poritz’s estate, nev-
rent, and there was precious little remaining for food and er doubting for a moment that he was
clothing. That was their lot in life and, being G-d-fearing indeed anyone but the poritz’s son.
Jews, they accepted with full faith that it was Hashem’s will. One day, as a young teenager, he
The poritz was strict with the rent and demanded the full met a group of Jews traveling
amount on the due date. He never granted extensions, yet he on the road. When they
would raise the rent every year. This went on for eight years, met up with him,
withtheJewishcouplesomehoworanothercomingupwiththe they collectively let
rent on time. Usually, they would borrow from friends to do so. out a large sigh.
One year, the poritz raised the rent in the middle of the year “Why the large
to such a ridiculously high amount that it would be impos- sigh?” asked the
sible to come up with such a large sum of money. Yet, the young man.
poritzdidn’t want to hear a word about it. He ignored their At first they
pleas for mercy and warned them that they would be sorry hesitated, a
if they did not have the entire sum of money when due. Sure little fright-
ened to get

“You, G-d, can pray for me. Please, G-d,
take my book and pray for me! Utter the

words that will draw me closer to You!
Pray for me because I can’t pray for myself!”

of them spoke up and said, “You should know that you, too, group of Jewish men he had met earlier walking by.
are a Jew – a Jew just like us. You were born to fine Jewish He showed them the book he had found in the hut.
parents in the small hut near the inn right outside town. But “Perhaps you can tell me what this book is and
you are growing up as a gentile and are completely ignorant why I feel such a connection to it?” he asked them.
of your religion and of serving Hashem. That is why we sigh.” “That is a siddur, a Jewish prayer book. Your mother prob-
When the boy heard that, his head began to spin. Me? ably shed many a tear praying from it that you should
A Jew?! That’s impossible! Yet the people were so sin- grow up to be a proper, G-d fearing Jew,” they explained.
cere, he thought to himself. He quickly ran home and The men continued on their way, explaining that they were go-
asked the poritz if it was true that he was in fact not ing to the rebbe for Yom Kippur and they had to move along.
The young boy begged to come along. At first they refused be-
his biological son, but a Jew born to Jewish parents. cause they were frightened of the poritz. The boy pleaded and
The poritz brushed it off. “That is the most lu- cajoled until they relented and allowed him to travel with them.
dicrous thing I have ever heard. Of course you In shul that Yom Kippur night while he sat there like every-
are my son! Don’t listen to those crazy Jews; one else, he had no idea what he was supposed to be doing.
they are simply playing with your mind.” His mother’s siddur was open in front of him, but he had no
Yet the young boy felt un- idea how to read it. He got very frustrated and felt very alone
easy. Something was not right. as he watched everyone else davenand pour their hearts out
A few days later, his curiosity got the better to their Creator, while only he sat there quietly. Oh, how he
of him and he went to look around the hut in longed to read those words and connect with his Creator.
which he had supposedly been born. Besides Finally, unable to contain himself, he cried out silent-
the dust, there was not much there. He did, ly, “G-d, I can’t pray. I don’t know how. If my moth-
however, find one interesting object: er were here with me she would pray for me from this
a dog-eared, dusty book awkwardly very book as she always used to. But alas, she is no lon-
perched on a high shelf. He opened it, ger here with me so she can no longer pray for me. But
but could not read it as it was written You can! You, G-d, can pray for me. Please, G-d, take my
in a foreign language. Yet book and pray for me! Utter the words that will draw me
strangely, although he closer to You! Pray for me because I can’t pray for myself!”
had no idea what was The Ba’al Shem Tov would often repeat this story
written in it, he felt with great emotion and conclude by saying how pow-
a strong connec- erful that boy’s tefillah was. It was that heartfelt te-
tion to it. He felt fillah that enabled thetefillos of the other congre-
his heart be- gants to be accepted in Heaven that Yom Kippur day.
ing drawn The Bnei Yissaschar then concluded his explanation. “I
towards would very much like to daven from the siddur of the
it. He Arizal, to daven with all the holy kavanos just like my reb-
kissed it and carefully put it in his pocket. be did and my rebbe’s rebbe did. Unfortunately, I myself
The next day, he happened to meet the same don’t really understand all the special kavanos. I there-
fore have no choice but to daven from a regular siddur.
What I could do, however, is keep a siddur with the ka-
vanos of the Arizal open in front of me while I daven and
ask Hashem to invoke all the special kavanos for me.”

Divine Providence

My Vietnam Hero

Prologue: The Vietnam War was fought between 1965-1975 and the United States
suffered losses of over 50,000 men and women killed in action, battling the communists,
whom the Soviets funded. Some Orthodox Jews fought in the American Army, while
A many non-observant Jews served and died in Vietnam.
s a teenager, I was very impulsive and prone to take pulled over and gave us a lift to the nearest exit. There, we ap-
risks. There was one such occasion, nevertheless proached a middle-aged man who was standing near the gas
when I was privileged to see the Omnipresent hand pump filling up his pickup truck, and asked him very timo-
of Hashem. My best friend was getting married in Boston rously to drive us to our destination, 50 miles away. I must have
at noon on a Sunday, and I had planned to drive there from rambled because he asked me to repeat my request, but he was
New York to celebrate with him. In addition, my brother was amenable and allowed us to load our luggage into his truck.
scheduled to take an entrance exam the Shabbos preceding
the wedding at a Yeshiva in Ohio. Being that I was the only We exchanged our life stories in that truck and he informed
one at the time who could drive him, and we were both young my brother and me that he was a Vietnam veteran. He stat-
and couldn’t afford to fly, we decid- ed that he shared our belief in
ed to make the trek from New York The One Above and His Divine
to Ohio to Boston and then back. “He stated Providence. He told us that he
My brother and I left Brooklyn that he shared had never met an Orthodox Jew
on a Thursday night, traveling before and he was impressed with
west in our 10-year old van. We the fact that “a day of rest” is in-
slept in Pennsylvania that eve- trinsic to our faith” and our lives,
ning and at 9am the next morning our belief in not just a vacation day we take
we were only 100 miles from our The One Above at our convenience. He told us
destination. Shabbos was sched- that his name was Tom Jones, a
more goyish sounding name you
uled for 8:30 pm so I wasn’t wor- couldn’t find, and yet some of his
ried. Then, without warning, the and His Divine beliefs were concurrent with yid-
van began overheating and I was Providence.” dishkeit. He left me with some
forced to pull over on the shoul- words that I will remember forev-
der of the US Interstate. Luck- er. “Maybe The One Above spared
ily, we were towed to a service me from those scary jungles of
station and after several hours Vietnam, so that I could help out
during which our hose was re- nice Jewish boys like you two.”
placed, the van was once more ser-
viceable and we continued onward to our destination. Once we got to the yeshiva, only minutes before sunset, I hand-
ed him the $50 I had promised him for the 90-minute ride.
We were heading west when our car overheated once more, He refused and said that he only needed $20 for the gas that
but this time it was 4 pm and approaching Shabbos. My he used and that the Almighty would repay him for his time.
brother began to cry. But I consoled him by reminding
him that we must have emunah in Hashem and everything I have always admired American war heroes who fought
would turn out for the best. After all, what are older broth- to defend this great free country. However none ever
ers for if not for some comfort and a few words of wisdom? made me cry from joy but for this Vietnam vet whom
An army officer on his was to his base, seeing our dilemma, Hashem had planted in my path during my time of need.

Menachem Av 5777 / July 2017 /Roeinu 3

o The Niagara Falls are located on the border of o Hydroelectric stations in the area
Ontario, Canada and New York, USA. divert less water during the
summer when tourist numbers are
o The Niagara Falls are made up of 3 waterfalls, high, ensuring a spectacular flow of
the American Falls, the Bridal Veil Falls and the water for visitors.
Horseshoe Falls.
o The Niagara River drains water
o The Horseshoe Falls are the largest and the Bridal from Lake Erie into Lake Ontario.
Veil Falls the smallest.
o The first tightrope walker to cross
o The 3 waterfalls combine to produce the highest the Niagara Falls did so in 1859.
flow rate of any waterfall on earth.
o In 2012 Nik Wallenda became the
o The largest vertical drop is over 165 feet (50 first person to cross the Niagara
metres). Falls by tightrope in 116 years. He
did so after receiving permission
o The Niagara Falls were created by glacier activity from both the Canadian and United
many years ago. States governments, although he
was required to carry his passport
o The Niagara Falls are a source of hydropower, and present it on entry to the
producing large amounts of electricity. Canadian side of the falls.

o Goat Island sits in the middle of the Niagara Falls, between Horseshoe Falls and Bridal Veil Falls.
o A monument dedicated to Serbian-American inventor Nikola Tesla sits on Goat Island.
o The Niagara Falls are visited by around 30 million people every year.
o The Niagara Falls State Park is the oldest state park in the United States (1885).

1 Av – Rav Shlomo Halberstam (1908-2000), the Bobover Rebbe in Brooklyn, NY
2 Av – Rav Moshe Stern, the Debreciner Rav (1914-1997)
5 Av – Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzensky of Vilna (1863-1940)

Rav Binyomin Paler (1908-2000), talmid muvhak of the Brisker Rav zt’l
10 Av – Yissachor ben Yaakov Avinu (1564 BCE)

13 Av – Rav Nosson Nota Shapira, author of Megaleh Amukos (1585-1633)
15 Av – Nachum Ish Gamzu, Rabbi Akiva’s rabbi for 22 years, buried in Tsefas.

21 Av 21 AV - Rabbi Ahron Rokeach, Belzer Rebbe zt'l (1880-1957)
23 Av – Rav Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, the Steipler Gaon (1899-1985)
26 Av – Rav Yoel Teitelbaum of Sighet, the Satmar Rav (1888-1979)
27 Av – Rav Shmuel Tzvi Hersh Horowitz of Spinka, Spinka Rebbe of Williamsburg

(1921-1997)
Rav Menachem Kohn (1964-2006) author of Ateres Avi
28 Av – Rav Avraham Yaakov HaKohen Pam (1913-2001)
29 Av – Rav Eliezer Zusia Portugal, the Skulener Rebbe (1897-1982)

Political Point Man
By Joseph Lieberman

Welcome to Political Point Man. The intended theme of this monthly
column is to establish, for those lacking the knowledge, politically or
religiously, of what is right and wrong in Washington D.C.

We will keep it to basics. Many of us can use an education of have enhanced our chances for preparing ourselves properly
what Torah Jews ought to believe when entering the voting to greet Moshiach exponentially. When one considers that
booth. Additionally, we will provide a brief review, for those on paper he had absolutely no chance of ever winning last
whose convictions are b’H in order, of what are some of the November, it is clear that this is the Will of Hashem and we
central beliefs of the American political parties, and whether need to capitalize on this opportune time to lead lives that
a Jew may, halachically, support or harbor them. What one will make our ancestors proud.
thinks about the issues of the day is obviously the choice of
the individual and ultimately how we vote is up to our own Ours is a generation that has come along after many other
personal discretion. prior periods in the golus
that seemingly surpassed
Yet, there is a dire need in the Jewish world of print, the performance of
electronic and social media, and the general popular present-day klal yisroel.
consensus to teach, and, hopefully, even successfully Yet, as Rabbi Nachman
persuade the klal that voting incorrectly causes a terrible of Breslov zt’l taught
chilul Hashem in our open society, as well as it undermines us, during the days that
the fabric of our lives. precede Moshiach’s
arrival, a Jew who says
Hashem placed us in this country and in this era to serve Him the Sh’ma Yisroel with
Alone, despite the countless challenges and temptations. Our the proper belief will be a
private views on current social issues are not immune from wonder. Those days are
this requirement at all. We must possess the ability, unless practically here and we
we choose not to think about politics at all, to see through must understand that our
the deceit that envelopes our world. contribution’s to k’vod
shomayim are very much
Lies and fabrications abound the world media today appreciated and cherished by our Father Above.
and one should actually envy those among us who shun
these mediums as a source of any information, since the Supporting Democrats, members of our congress that work
information along with many of those disseminating it are term after term in office to spread immorality and insanity
evil, to say the least. They wake up every day and substitute throughout the nation, during these precarious days, is
Modeh Ani with a burning desire to further the cause of probably a major Torah offence. I am far from being a rabbi,
modern-day radical liberalism, and to undermine all efforts yet I encourage you all to ask your rabbi, if he is an authentic
expended on the part of men and women of faith in this once one, what is the heter for selling out one’s soul in exchange
moral society. for political favors, be they monetary or otherwise. Rabbi
Miller zt’l was not alone in this battle. Many holy Torah
Rabbi Avigdor Miller zt’l was a voice of veracity and holy personalities forbade voting for immoral candidates too. Let
Tzadik hador who taught us that the ills of liberalism are us ask ourselves from now on, “Who would Hashem want
antithetical to the holy Torah and we may have no part of it. me to vote for?” With that approach, the choice is clear.
With the recent election of President Donald J. Trump, we Hatzlacha!

Menachem Av 5777 / July 2017 /Roeinu 12

ChinuchChaburah
by Chani F.
Noticing

As I drove home from school the other day and thought been a teenager myself, I’ve come to learn that they
about a particular student in my 12th grade Tanach do want to be noticed, so badly, but by the right per-
class, I started to think about the many students who son. The question that needs to be asked is, who is that
are going through the mo-
tions, eight hours of sitting in right person? The existence of
classes, just trying to make it a teenager is one that is lived
by another day, under the ra- on a seeminglyparadoxical
dar and unnoticed. When the wave for many. The teenage
school day is spent trying to phase can range from any-
fill expectations, stick to the where between the ages of
rules and routine, and keep twelve to twenty one - and
up with the quota of work, according to some, adulting
the day can seem long and tir- (the process of transition be-
ing. And when potential isn’t tween being an adolescent
given a fair chance at being and adult) can go even until
actualized, there’s an insig- 25. In this era in life, time
nificant amount of satisfac- can seem to move so fast and
tion being gleaned from work, and a student can just yet somehow, ever so slow-
wish to make it by and get home, unnoticed. Having ly, amazingly, at the same time. The technology
that we have available to us today, or the type of

lifestyle which we live, can help set the stage for this thing going okay in the friends department? That can
kind of existence. For a discussion in and of itself, the be major. Does she feel that her parents think highly
sleep and food habits of a person will greatly influence of her when she comes home from eight of hours of
a person’s thoughts and patterns of thinking. Addition- sitting in classes, when she might not think so highly
ally, given the unique biological makeup that is charac- of herself? I don’t know what the rest of her day looks
teristic of the young adult stage of life, feelings can be like. I don’t know what she feels inside in the rest of
felt at maximum level and often in many modes at once. her day but I know this as a fact, that she feels deeply,
This means that happiness is ecstasy, sadness is anguish, and for that, I have a responsibility to respect her take
boredom is “I’d rather be anywhere on the planet but on a matter, what she cares about, and to try to see it
here,” and engagement is “THIS is the life!...- such is through the windows of her world, so that I can notice
the existence of a teenager, with things often being felt her in the way that she wants and needs to be noticed.
at maximum level and in full speed. As we outgrow Parents and teachers, older siblings and friends,
this stage, the neurons calm down and stop firing as when you are in a position of influence, recognize that
much, our priorities shift, and we learn (hopefully) to the teenager that you care about, can care about things
gain mastery of our thoughts, and be in control of our inside very deeply, and sometimes with a lot more feel-
emotions. But, for a teen- ing for something than
ager, when experiences you yourself might give
and emotions are felt in it. Keep in mind, that be-
such an intense and im- “That’s why when cause the feeling is felt at
pactful way, whatever is a greater level in a teenag-
the catalyst of feeling at a er’s mind, the feelings as-
particular moment, may you, loving parent, sociated with a particular
seem colossal. Just as experience, interaction,
when a child watches his or value, can seem so big,
toy break into irreparable tell her that you're sometimes unmanage-
pieces, and for that brief able even, and needs to
moment so do the win- disappointed in her, be treated with respect
dows of his inner world, and love from the people
that’s the teenage son who around who care. Every
wished his father would it stings like salt on a teenager feels different-
have said “I’m proud of wound.” ly, at different levels and
you”, rather than a casual about different things,
“Nice” for the most re- but every teenager cares
cent chemistry test he got about something. Please
back. Every feeling and know, parents and teach-
emotion is crystallized, ers, that your dear chil-
felt at maximum level, and that’s why when you, loving dren, teenagers especially, feel and care about things
parent, tell her that you’re disappointed in her, it stings in a different way than you might, and please keep
like salt on a wound. But, when you look at her genu- that in mind when considering the child in your care
inely, and tell her that you know she’s trying, and that and evaluating their behavior. Be ready to give love,
she’s meant to do great things one day, those few words to help build your child or student by showing him
restore her belief in herself and a better future, and or her that you are 100% there to support them, and
in that moment, you have given her a second chance. that no matter how challenging something may seem,
I was thinking about a particular student of you can see how great they will become from it. Tell-
mine, and how for the brief forty minutes ing your child you see greatness in him will help him
that she’s in my classroom, I can be attentive identify with greatness, and when he can identify with
to her and see how she’s doing, but in the other twenty greatness, he is that much closer to becoming that.
three hours of her day I don’t know a blessed thing of Give credence to how the child in your care feels, try
what she experiences in her world - Is she struggling to see it from their point of view, so that you will be the
with staying focused in the other classes? Is every- right person from whom they could use being noticed.