Reader's Digest 12.01 2022

Getty imaGes (8) Reader’s Digest

All Wrong ByJamesNestor
From the book breath

improve your health, sleep, and general well-being

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Reader’s Digest Health

“Say to enter our bodies. And I’ve come to
eeee.” say goodbye to my nose for the next
ten days, in a quest to learn how to
I’m lying on the examination chair breathe better by first breathing all
in the Stanford Department of Oto- wrong.
laryngology Head and Neck Surgery
Center as Jayakar Nayak, MD, a nasal For the past century, the prevailing
and sinus surgeon, gingerly coaxes an belief in Western medicine was that
endoscope camera through my right the nose was more or less an ancillary
nasal cavity. He’s gone so deep into organ. We should breathe out of it if
my head that it’s come out the other we can, the thinking went, but if not,
side, into my throat. no problem. That’s what the mouth
is for. Dr. Nayak finds this absurd. He
I’m wearing a pair of video goggles is chief of rhinology research at Stan-
that are streaming a live feed of the ford and heads an internationally re-
journey through the rolling dunes, nowned laboratory focused entirely on
swampy marshes, and stalactites in- understanding the power of the nose.
side my severely damaged sinuses.
I’m trying not to cough or choke or That’s why he’s so interested to see
gag as that endoscope squirms a little what happens in a body that functions
farther down. without one. Starting today, I’ll spend
the next quarter of a million breaths
“Say eeee,” Dr. Nayak repeats. I with silicone plugs blocking my nos-
watch as the soft tissue around my trils and surgical tape over the plugs
larynx, pink and fleshy and coated in to stop even the faintest amount of
slime, opens and closes like a stop- air from entering or exiting my nose.
motion Georgia O’Keeffe flower. This I’ll breathe only through my mouth—
isn’t a pleasure cruise. Twenty-five a heinous experiment that will be
sextillion molecules (that’s 250 with exhausting and miserable, but has a
20 zeros after it) take this same voy- clear point.
age 18 times a minute, 25,000 times a
day. I’ve come here to see, feel, and Forty percent of today’s population
learn where all this air is supposed suffers from chronic nasal obstruc-
tion, and around half of us are ha-
bitual mouth breathers. The causes
are many: dry air to stress, inflamma-
tion to allergies, pollution to phar-
maceuticals. But much of the blame,
I’ll soon learn, can be placed on the
ever-shrinking real estate in the front
of the human skull. When mouths

84 dec 2021 ✦ Jan 2022

Maskot/getty iMages don’t grow wide enough, the positioned nose that was less effi-
roof of the mouth tends to cient at filtering, exposing us to more
rise up instead of out, form- airborne pathogens and bacteria.
ing what’s called a V-shape or The smaller sinuses and mouth also
high-arched palate. The up- reduced space in our throats.
ward growth impedes the de-
velopment of the nasal cavity, Strangely, sadly, the same adapta-
shrinking it and disrupting tions that would allow our ancestors
the delicate structures in to outwit, outmaneuver, and outlive
the nose. The reduced nasal other animals—a mastery of fire and
space leads to obstruction processing food, an enormous brain,
and inhibits airflow. and the ability to communicate in a
vast range of sounds—would obstruct
Overall, humans have the our mouths and make it much harder
sad distinction of being the for us to breathe. This recessed growth
most plugged-up species would, much later, make us prone to
on Earth. Nearly everyone I knew choke on our own bodies when we
suffered from one problem or an- sleep: to snore.
other—stuffy nose, wheezing, asthma,
allergies, snoring, and the rest. I’d al- It’s evening on the second day of
ways thought these problems were the mouth-breathing experiment, and
a normal part of being human, but I’m in bed with silicon plugs jammed
I came to learn that they didn’t ran- inside my nasal cavities, covered
domly develop. with tape. I’ve got a pulse oximeter

Our ancient ancestors very likely
never suffered from widespread snor-
ing, sleep apnea, sinusitis, or many
other chronic respiratory problems
that affect modern populations. They
did not because they could not. Their
mouths were far too large and their
airways too wide for anything to block
them. They breathed easily.

As humans evolved, the growing
brain needed space to stretch out,
and it took it from our faces, sinuses,
mouths, and airways. Over time, the
face shortened and the mouth shrank,
leaving behind a smaller, vertically

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Reader’s Digest Health

device about the size of a matchbook with an open mouth exacerbates
strapped to my wrist and finger. Every these problems. Whenever we put
few seconds, it records my heart rate our heads on a pillow, gravity pulls
and blood oxygen levels, using this to the soft tissues in the throat and
assess how often and how severely tongue down, closing off the airway
my too-deep tongue gets lodged in even more. An estimated 60 percent
my too-small mouth and causes me of the population sleeps with an open
to hold my breath, a condition more mouth. After a while, our airways get
commonly known as sleep apnea. conditioned to this open position;
snoring and sleep apnea become the
To gauge the severity of my snoring new normal.
and sleep apnea, I’ve downloaded an
app that records a constant stream But, contrary to what most of us
of audio through the night, then pro- might think, no amount of snoring is
vides a minute-to-minute graph of my normal, and sleep apnea carries its
breathing health every morning. A se- own risks of serious health effects ter-
curity camera above the bed monitors ribly damaging to the body and mind,
every movement. increasing the risk of maladies in-
cluding attention deficit hyperactivity
CONTRARY TO WHAT disorder (ADHD), diabetes, high blood
MOST OF US MIGHT pressure, cancer, and so on.
THINK, NO AMOUNT OF
SNORING IS NORMAL. A report from the Mayo Clinic
found that chronic insomnia, long as-
Last night, in my first run of self- sumed to be a psychological problem,
inflicted nasal-obstructed sleeping, my is often a breathing problem.
snoring increased by 1,300 percent, to
75 minutes through the night. I’d also Another problem with mouth
suffered a fourfold increase in sleep breathing is that we deny our nostrils
apnea events. All this in just 24 hours. the job of filtering, heating, and condi-
tioning the air we breathe. It turns out
When seasonal allergies hit, inci- that the nostrils of every living person
dences of sleep apnea and breathing pulse to their own rhythm, opening
difficulties shoot up. The nose gets and closing like a flower in response
stuffed, we start mouth breathing, and to our moods, mental states, and per-
the airways collapse. haps even the sun and the moon.

“It’s simple physics,” said Patrick In a single breath, more mole-
McKeown, one of the world’s leading cules will pass through your nostrils
experts on nasal breathing. Sleeping than all the grains of sand on all the
world’s beaches—trillions and tril-
lions of them. These little bits come
from a few feet or several yards away.

86 dec 2021 ✦ Jan 2022

Peathegee Inc/getty Images As they make their way toward you,
they’ll twist and spool like the stars in
a van Gogh, traveling into us at a clip
of about five miles per hour.

What directs this rambling path are
turbinates, six mazelike bones (three
on each side) that begin at the open-
ing of your nostrils and end just be-
low your eyes. The lower turbinates
are covered in pulsing erectile tissue,
itself covered in mucous membrane,
a nappy sheen of cells that moistens
and warms breath to your body tem-
perature while simultaneously filter-
ing out particles and pollutants that
could cause infection and irritation if
they got into the lungs.

Mucus is the body’s first line of
defense. It’s constantly on the move,
sweeping along at a rate of about
half an inch every minute, more than
60 feet per day. Like a giant conveyor
belt, it collects inhaled debris in the
nose, then moves all the junk down
the throat and into the stomach,
where it’s sterilized by stomach acid,
delivered to the intestines, and sent
out of your body. This conveyor belt
is pushed by millions of tiny hairlike
structures called cilia that sway with
each inhale and exhale, at a fast clip
of up to 16 beats per second. These
coordinated movements keep mucus
moving ever deeper into us.

The cilia grip is so strong that it
can even push against the force of
gravity. No matter what position the
nose (and head) is in, whether up-
side down or right side up, the cilia

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HOW TO BREATHE BETTER of the U.S. population—which can
cause heart attacks, stroke, and other
Everyone can benefit from this simple serious problems.
breathing technique: Breathe in for
about five to six seconds, then exhale Meanwhile, my heart rate variabil­
to the same count. Breathe through ity—a measure of nervous system
your nose if you can. That’s it. Simple, balance—plummeted, my pulse in­
yet subtle. creased, my body temperature de­
creased, and snoring and sleep apnea
will keep pushing inward and down. have continued unabated. Scientific
Working together, all these systems studies have clearly shown that how
we breathe can have a powerful im­
in the nostrils and nose clean, slow, pact on all of this: our circulation,
treat, and pressurize air so the lungs heart function, digestion, stress, and
can extract more oxygen with each even cognitive disorders such as Alz­
breath. This is yet another reason why heimer’s and panic. I’d read dozens
nasal breathing is far more healthy of those studies. But it’s something
and efficient than breathing through else to feel those damaging effects
the mouth. personally.

As Dr. Nayak explained when I first As I toss and turn, my frazzled mind
met him, the nose is the silent war­ keeps going back to all those kids
rior: the gatekeeper of our bodies, who’d been told that chronic allergies
pharmacist of our minds, and weather and congestion were a part of child­
vane to our emotions. hood, and the adults who’d convinced
themselves that snoring and choking
On that last terrible night of the ex­ every night was a natural part of grow­
periment, I’m sitting in bed, again un­ ing old. There is nothing natural about
able to sleep. It’s been ten days since I any of it.
first plugged my nose in the Stanford
experiment, and I am feeling the real The next morning, back at Stan­
and damaging effects mouth breath­ ford, Dr. Nayak nudges an endoscope
ing has on the mind and body. up my right nostril once again. The
smooth desert dunes I journeyed
It’s awful: I feel anxious, stressed, through ten days ago look as if they’ve
fatigued, and dazed. But the impact been hit by a hurricane. I’ll skip the
isn’t just psychological. It’s physical details; let’s just say my nasal cavity is
too. My blood pressure has contin­ a mess.
ued to rise throughout the past week,
and I’m now deep into stage 2 hyper­ “Now your favorite part,” says Dr.
tension—a condition shared by a third Nayak, chuckling. Before I sneeze or
can consider running away, he grabs

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Health

a small wire brush and pushes it a sparkled and alarming that I can al-
few inches into my head. “It’s pretty most see them—a billion colored dots
soupy in there,” he says. He repeats in a Seurat painting.
with the left nostril, places the gunk-
covered RNA brushes in a test tube, Standing here alone, nostrils flar-
then scoots me out of the way. ing, it occurs to me that breathing is
so much more than just getting air
For the past week and a half I’d into our bodies. It’s the most intimate
been waiting for this moment. I’d an- connection to our surroundings.
ticipated removing these plugs and
tape and cotton to be a celebratory Everything you or I or any other
scene involving high fives and nasal breathing thing has ever put in its
sighs of relief. I could breathe like mouth, or in its nose, or soaked in
a healthy human again! In reality, through its skin, is hand-me-down
it’s not until I get home that evening space dust that’s been around for
and rinse my sinuses several times 13.8 billion years. This wayward mat-
that I can take a full breath through ter has been split apart by sunlight,
my nose. spread throughout the universe, and
come back together again.
I grab a coat and walk barefoot to
the backyard. There are wispy plumes To breathe is to absorb ourselves
of cirrus clouds moving across the in what surrounds us, to take in little
night as big as spaceships. Above bits of life, understand them, and give
them, a few stubborn stars punch pieces of ourselves back out. Respi-
the mist and cluster around a waxing ration is, at its core, reciprocation.
moon. I exhale stale air from my chest Respiration, I’m hoping, can also lead
and take in a breath—through my to restoration.
nose. I smell the sour, old-sock stink
of mud. The black-label ChapStick of Starting today, I will attempt to heal
the damp doormat. A Lysol whiff of whatever damage has been done over
the lemon tree and the anise tinge of the past ten days of mouth breathing
dying leaves. and try to ensure health in the future.
The first step is to breathe through my
Each of these scents, this material nose, all day and all night. RD
in the world, explodes in my head in
a Technicolor burst. The scents are so ExcErptEd from thE book brEath by JamEs NEstor,
copyright © 2020 by JamEs NEstor. rEpriNtEd with
pErmissioN of rivErhEad books, aN impriNt of
pENguiN raNdom housE LLc.

Adios y auf Wiedersehen

When you speak two languages and start losing vocabulary in both: byelingual.

@bLaiNELsimpsoN

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90 Dec 2021 ✦ Jan 2022

josÉ valencia/getty images (moon), andrey chaikin/getty images (reflection), a-digit/getty images (float)

whatawin/getty images (sky), maria amador (stars) FICTION

‘Haven’t
You Been
Calling Me?’

When a mysterious man drifts to a
lifeboat full of shipwreck survivors,

he asks one simple question

By Mitch Albom

From the book The STranger in The LifeboaT

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Reader’s Digest

W hen we pulled him somehow read them after I am gone. whatawin/getty images
from the water, he I could begin with why I was on the
didn’t have a scratch
on him. That’s the Galaxy, or my deep sense of guilt at
first thing I no- what happened. But the story must
ticed. The rest of us were all gashes begin with this morning, when we
and bruises, but he was unmarked, pulled the young stranger from the
with smooth almond skin and thick sea. He wore no life jacket, nor was
dark hair matted by seawater. He was he holding on to anything when we
bare-chested, not particularly mus- spotted him bobbing in the waves. We
cular, maybe 20 years old, and his let him catch his breath, and from our
eyes were pale blue, the color you various perches in the boat, we intro-
imagine the ocean to be when you duced ourselves.
dream of a tropical vacation—not the
endless gray waves that surround this Lambert spoke first. “Jason Lam-
crowded lifeboat, waiting for us like bert, I owned the yacht.” Then came
an open grave. Nevin, who apologized that he could
not rise for a proper welcome, his in-
HE WORE NO LIFE jured leg being so swollen. Geri just
JACKET WHEN WE nodded and balled up the rope she
SAW HIM BOBBING had used to tug the man in. Yannis
offered a handshake. Nina mumbled
IN THE WAVES. “Hi.” Mrs. Laghari said nothing; she
clearly didn’t trust the newcomer.
It’s been three days since the Galaxy Jean Philippe smiled and said, “Wel-
sank. No one has come looking for us. come, brother,” but kept a palm on the
I try to stay positive, but we are short shoulder of his sleeping wife, Berna-
on food and water. Sharks have been dette, who is wounded from the ex-
spotted. I see surrender in the eyes plosion—badly wounded, I believe.
of many on board. The words “We’re The little girl we call Alice, who hasn’t
going to die” have been uttered too spoken since we found her clinging to
many times. a deck chair in the ocean, remained
silent.
If that is to be, if this is indeed my
end, then I am writing in the pages I went last. “Benji,” I said. “My
of this notebook in hopes you might name is Benji.” For some reason my
voice caught in my throat.

We waited for the stranger to re-
spond, but he just looked at us, doe-
eyed. Lambert said, “He’s probably
in shock.” Nevin yelled, “HOW LONG
WERE YOU IN THE WATER?” perhaps

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Fiction

SoyoniLLuSt/gEtty imagES thinking a raised voice would snap what this new man meant? Haven’t
him to his senses. When he didn’t you been calling me?
answer, Nina touched his shoulder
and said, “Well, thank the Lord we Still, I never considered what I
found you.” would do if I called for the Lord and
he actually appeared before me.
Which is when the man spoke.
“I am the Lord.” “Is there any water you can share?”
“What did he just say?” Nina the man asked.
whispered.
“He said he was the Lord,” Lambert “God is thirsty?” Lambert said,
scoffed. laughing. “Great. Anything else?”
“You got a first name, Lord?” Yan-
nis asked. “Perhaps something to eat?”
“I have many names.” “This is foolish,” Mrs. Laghari grum-
“And you’ve been swimming for bled. “He’s obviously playing games.”
three days?” Mrs. Laghari interjected. “No!” Nina yelled abruptly, her face
“That’s impossible.” contorting like a denied child. “Let
“She’s right,” Geri said. “The water him talk.” She spun toward the man.
temperature is 67 degrees. You can’t “Are you some kind of messenger? Are
live in that for three days.” you going to save us?”
“DID YOU FLOAT IN SOMETHING?” “I can only do that,” he replied,
Nevin yelled. “when all of you believe I am who I
“For Christ’s sake, Nevin,” Yannis say I am.”
said, “he’s not deaf.” No one moved. You could hear the
The stranger looked at Yannis when smack of the sea against the boat’s
he said “for Christ’s sake,” and Yannis sides. Finally, Geri, who is too practi-
closed his mouth, as if trying to suck cal for talk like this, said, “Well, you
the words back in. let us know when that happens. Until
“What’s your real story, mister?” then, we better adjust how we ration
Lambert said. the food.” RD
“I am here,” the man replied.
“Why are you here?” Nina asked. ExcErptEd from thE book thE StrangEr in thE
“Haven’t you been calling me?” LifEboat, copyright © 2021 by mitch aLbom. rEprintEd
We glanced at one another. It with pErmiSSion of harpErcoLLinS pubLiShErS.
is true, most of us, at some point,
thrashing in the waves that first night
or staring at the empty horizon now,
have cried out for divine intervention.
Please, Lord! ... Help me, God! Is that

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Chris AmArAl/Getty imAGes

94 dec 2021 ✦ Jan 2022 Illustrations by Maria Amador

HOW TO

Save time, money, and
your clothes with help
from “the Laundry Guy”

By Patric Richardson
with Karin B. Miller

From the book laundry love

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Reader’s Digest

My great-uncle Quinn is holding me people had been wearing wool cloth- GK Hart/VicKy Hart/Getty imaGes
up in the air so I can gaze down upon ing since long before the invention of
my mom’s washing machine, and I am dry cleaning.)
mesmerized by the clothes swimming
in circles in the sudsy water. I loved What I learned from my laundry
watching clothes being washed so teachers were not just the how-tos.
much that my parents gave me a kid- In his books, author Gary Chapman
size washing machine for my third teaches five “love languages”—ways to
birthday. express and experience love. Mine is
service. That’s what caring for clothes
The first real garment I ever owned meant for my grandmother, for my
was a camel hair overcoat with a fur mom, and now for me. Far beyond
collar and a matching fur hat. Because obligation, service is the way I show
what else do you buy a three-year-old others love—whether I’m ironing my
boy growing up in the heart of Appa- husband’s shirts, washing our vintage
lachia? I loved clothing, and my mom table linens in preparation for a party,
and her mother—my beloved Granny or decorating our home for Christmas.
Dude, who lived next door—culti-
vated my passion by taking me shop- Changing our mindsets from simply
ping, indulging me with fine clothes, cleaning clothes to caring for others
and teaching me how to care for them. is key to changing our attitudes about
laundry from that of drudgery to love.
My love of laundry only deep- In the free Laundry Camps that I run
ened as I grew older. I learned how at the Mall of America in Minneapolis,
to wash and dry my own clothes be- I share this philosophy with my camp-
fore I was ten. In my teens, I taught ers—that caring for your loved ones’
myself to iron, creating razor-sharp clothes shows them love. When their
creases in my khakis. With a love of clothes are clean, smell wonderful,
dry-clean-only clothes while on a and look great, your loved ones are
college-student budget at the Uni- going to feel as if they can take on the
versity of Kentucky, I sought out my world, and their days are going to be
textiles professors to find out if I could all the brighter. That’s true for you and
wash my wool sweaters and pants my- your clothes as well. And don’t you
self. (I suspected I could—after all, deserve that?

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How To

With these 11 new rules, you’ll be on NEW RULE #2: Sort your laundry
your way.
into four (or possibly five) piles.
NEW RULE #1: Don’t let your
clothes tell you what to do. To avoid spending more time on laun-
dry than needed, it all begins with
Our clothes are bossy. Their tags bully sorting my way (cue Frank Sinatra):
us into time-sucking techniques, and 1. Whites. We’re talking white button-
before we know it, each article of down shirts, white bras, white socks,
clothing is trying to tell us what to do. white sheets, white towels, white
Easy peasy is my mantra. elephants, etc. They all get thrown
into this pile. As do your mostly

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Reader’s Digest

white items with a bit of color—say, wonderful, and your clothes will wear ajt/Getty ImaGes
your white blouse with blue polka out much faster.
dots—and your whiter-shade-of-pale 5. Activewear. Finally, whether you
clothes: off-white, cream, oatmeal, work out or not, if you own any high-
and beige. performance activewear or workout
2. Blacks. After all, we’re living in the wear, you need one more pile. Throw
21st century and we love our black your polyfleece into this pile too.
clothes. Toss your black satin sheets
into this pile, too—at least I do. NEW RULE #3: Wash everything
3. Cool colors. Blues, greens, and pur-
ples. Grays go into this pile, too. We’re in warm water.
talking your favorite blue jeans, your
lacy purple bra, your green floral tow- I do mean everything. Yes, your darks.
els, your kid’s navy pirate sheets—all Yes, even your delicates. But what if I
your cool textiles. use a detergent designed for cold wa-
4. Warm colors. Reds, yellows, browns, ter? you ask. It doesn’t matter—warm,
and oranges—all your warm textiles. warm, warm.

For multicolored patterned clothes, The thing is, even cold-water deter-
just choose the pile—cool or warm— gents are designed to work in water
that you think matches each item best. that’s 58 to 62 degrees; manufactur-
Still not sure? Look at the item from a ers define this as cold. Unfortunately,
bit of a distance and you’ll see which cold water in our homes is likely just
color speaks most loudly to you. 53 or so degrees. And that means our
cold-water setting isn’t warm enough
The reasons behind sorting the to dissolve our detergents, which
cool colors from the warm colors are means they’re not activating and our
these: If a microdye bleed occurs in clothes aren’t getting clean.
either of these loads, no one will even
notice. But if you mix cool colors with Want proof? Find an item you’ve
warm colors, a micro blue bleed, for recently washed in cold water and
example, might dot a red button- throw it into truly warm water—it
down with purple or a yellow T-shirt will suds right up. That’s because the
with green. In addition, due to their soap is still in your clothing. And that
greater amount of dye, cool-colored means all the dirt and sweat and who
clothes tend to be heavier than warm- knows what else is, as well. Ew. (Do
colored clothes, and that means lots your towels smell sour despite being
of abrasion—for example, your blue washed? Cold water is likely why.)
jeans sloshing around will be hard on
your orange polo shirt. Don’t do it. Don’t worry—warm water will not
Your wash results won’t be nearly as fade or shrink your clothes. Most
wash cycles include four steps: the
wash, the rest, the rinse, and the spin.
Only the wash stage uses warm water,

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