Parents 04.2022

YOU.

TEND TO YOURSELF, BODY A ND SOUL

POWDER, LIQUID, AND
CREAM VERSIONS

EACH HAVE UNIQUE
A DVA N TA G E S .

STYLING BY CHRISTINE MOTTAU FOR JUDY CASEY. Blush Is Earthy terra-cottas,
matte pinks,
Magic
dewy corals, illuminating
It may not get the respect cocoas, and
of a high-coverage
concealer or an eye- bright fuchsias are
opening mascara, but all part of
when it comes to helping
parents look rested and the landscape.
a little brighter, blush can
be transformational.

by S H A N N O N M . B AU E R

photographs by
JEFFREY WESTBROOK

5 1P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

YOUÑPerfectish Beauty

Powder

Because a powder blush
absorbs moisture,

it’s good at fending off
the sweat and oil that
can cause a blush to
migrate and is ideal for oily-

skin types. It’s also
easy to whisk on without
your having to �ixate on
precision. How to apply it:

Grab a �luffy brush,
swirl it in the blush, then

tap directly on the
proverbial apples of the

cheeks. Sweep the
blush back toward your
temples for a soft �lush
of color. COVERGIRL
TruBlend So Flushed Blush

in Temptation ($8;
drugstores) offers good
bang for the buck and
stands out for its vibrant
pigments. Lawless Make Me
Blush Powder Blush in
Vintage Love ($29; sephora
.com) nails the perfect

matte but not �lat
�inish—helpful for oily
skin. For a shimmery
blush with a glowy effect,

Milani Baked Blush
($10; milanicosmetics.com,

not shown) is a good one.

BEFORE I was a beauty BLUSH’S SUPERPOWER creamy stick onto each cheek WOMAN: FRANKLIN THOMPSON.
editor (B.B.E.), I thought of with the other hand and
blush as one of those steps “Looking in the mirror blended it in. Aside from this
you do if you have the and seeing that warm pink hue, my face was
time, like cutting your kid’s naked—no foundation, no
sandwich into a heart or healthy �lush might trick eyeliner, no lip gloss, no brow
putting together outfits the you into feeling a gel. But somehow I felt as if
night before school. When I’d just flipped a light on my
I floated this not-a-must little more awake and skin. Andrew Sotomayor, a
theory by makeup artists, refreshed as well.” makeup artist in New York
you’d think I had suggested City, confirms that the effect
tossing a lovey out the car —makeup artist is real: “Blush adds healthy
window. Their aghast Andrew Sotomayor undertones, with or without
reaction often amounted to other makeup. Think of the
something like, “Blush is our scene: zero sleep, always- warmth kids can get in their
ride or die! It makes you look hungry baby, milk-stained skin from doing everything
alive!” So I decided to get on sweats, little chance for a at warp speed. Adding a
board, and it wasn’t long before shower—and yet, obligations little pink, red, or coral to
I discovered the dramatic to venture into the outside your cheeks mimics that
change a touch of cheek color world and see other grown- effect, which we associate
can offer. Nothing confirmed ups. With the words of with energy, youth, and life.”
this blush-is-essential makeup artists echoing back, Call me a rosy convert.
truth more than Month 1 of I wondered if blush might
motherhood. We all know the save me, at least cosmetically. —Kate Sandoval Box,
While holding the baby in Parents Beauty Director
one arm, I circled a bit of a

5 2P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

Cream Liquid

You really can’t mess up a cream blush because it melts This formula gives the
into skin, “giving you a subtle, lit-from-within tint that looks super- most realistic, just-went-for-

natural,” says Courtney Shields, a mom and cofounder of a-jog �lush. But word
DIBS beauty. How to apply it: Swipe the stick directly onto the to the wise, it can be a bit
�inicky: On very oily skin,
apples of the cheeks, then blend in with a brush, a damp
sponge, or your �ingers. Shields recommends her own DIBS Beauty it can slide; on very dry
skin, it may go on unevenly.
Desert Island Duo ($32; dibsbeauty.com), which has blush on
one side and bronzer on the other. We’re also fans of Tarte How to apply it: Tap
a wand, like the
Cosmetics Sea Breezy Cream Blush ($27, sephora.com, not
shown), which has coconut oil for a dewy, hydrated �inish. one in Saie Dew Blush in
Poppy ($22; saiehello.com),

directly onto the cheek
and blend with a �inger.

Given that liquids
tend to be bold and set
quickly, another option is

to place the color on
your �ingertip �irst, then
press it onto each cheek.

L’Oréal Paris Glow
Paradise Lip + Cheek Tint

($14; drugstores,
not shown) is extra sheer

(and therefore more
foolproof) and offers a
dewy effect. Consider

adding a tiny bit to
the bridge of your nose,

too; doing this
creates a sun-kissed look.

BLUSH’S SUPERPOWER

“It’s a �inishing
touch that brightens up

your face and pulls
your entire look together.

It brings a liveliness
into your skin.

Without it, the look feels
incomplete.”

—makeup entrepreneur
Courtney Shields

YO UÑB e aut y

THE

B E AU T Y

OF LESS*

(* PAC K AG I N G)

Reducing product waste no longer means
settling for second-best. A wave of

cosmetics brands are making it easy to find options
that buyers and the planet can both love.

by A N N I E TO M LI N / photograph by DA N E TAS H I M A

FIRST, the tough truth: Collectively, formulas in mini-size bottles are for materials that would produce
our beauty regimens have the side growing in popularity. significantly less waste than traditional
effect of creating trash. According to the packaging and would be easily
market research firm Euromonitor, “It’s not about being perfectly zero- recyclable in most communities.
more than 8 billion plastic packages waste but about making more sustainable
were produced for beauty and personal choices whenever you can,” says Mia “I think of sustainability and minimal
care in 2018 in the United States alone. Davis, vice president of sustainability packaging as the new luxury,” says Alisha
That’s a staggering number of bottles, and impact at the clean-beauty retailer Gallagher, cofounder of the clean-
compacts, and other packaging, most of Credo Beauty. At scale, she says, the cosmetics brand MOB Beauty. Which is
which isn’t recycled. The good news is impact can be massive. not to say that going low waste requires
that the beauty industry is increasingly an all-out, up-front investment. Jhánneu,
getting a low-waste makeover. Large In seeking out the best low-waste an influencer in Austin who posts about
and small companies are innovating beauty products for this story, our sustainability, likes to remind beauty
to reduce or even eliminate waste editors prioritized ones with packaging consumers that one of the greenest
without sacrificing the quality of their that could be refilled or recycled again things they can do is “use what you
products. You may see more aluminum and again. Sometimes, that meant already have, whether it comes in plastic,
and paper containers, for example, getting to know a new formulation glass, cardboard, or anything else.” From
and refillable jars and concentrated (hello, solid shampoo and toothpaste there, it’s a matter of choosing eco-
tablets). In other cases, when plastic friendly replacements as they’re needed.
packaging was necessary, we looked

5 4P A R E N T S APRIL 2022



YO UÑB e aut y

Small changes, GREEN
like using PICKS

a solid-shampoo 2022
bar, can
LOW IN WASTE,
make an impact. BIG ON
GOODNESS
The Plastic Situation
Meet our favorite
Cosmetic containers often end up in landfills and oceans. But more sustainable swaps.
beauty companies are saying it doesn’t have to be that way.
1. Typically, water makes up 80 percent
Many people are surprised to learn that the time today’s newborns graduate from of a shampoo, used mainly as filler. PROP STYLING BY VANESSA VAZQUEZ. THIS PAGE: GLOWIMAGES/GETTY. OPPOSITE: PETER ARDITO.
only 9 percent of existing plastic that we high school, the current amount of ocean Everist Waterless Shampoo
attempt to recycle is actually recycled, plastic is projected to quadruple.) Concentrate ($24; credobeauty.com)
Davis says. “That’s a dismally low number, leaves it out so the packaging
especially when so many of us are doing There are signs that plastic might be can be minimized. “Our shampoo is
our best to recycle.” It turns out that many curbed or regulated in the future. A new one third the size of a traditional
forms of plastic can’t be recycled in Maine law charges product makers a fee bottle, but you get the equivalent
conventional facilities. And when it comes based on packaging choices they make, amount of product,” says cofounder
to the remaining kinds of plastic, and in the U.S. Senate, the Break Free From Jayme Jenkins. And the aluminum
manufacturers say it’s often cheaper to Plastic Pollution Act would reduce the tube is recyclable. To use the
make new containers than to upcycle old production of single-use plastics. shampoo, squeeze a 1-inch strip of the
ones. The petite size of beauty products is plant-based paste into hands,
also a big factor, as they are among the But some brands are not waiting for rub together with just enough water to
least likely items to be collected by sorting legislation. “There are so many other build a lather, then apply to wet hair
machines. “Containers that are smaller environmental issues for the government and wash as usual. The formula’s
than a yogurt cup are probably not going to to regulate, and beauty will probably be stimulating peppermint oil is
be caught by them,” Davis says. one of the last things on their list,” says especially good for oily scalps.
Victor Casale, chief executive officer of
Compacts, toothpaste tubes, and razors, MOB Beauty and cofounder of Pact, a 2. Instead of an impossible-to-recycle
among other items, end their journey in a nonprofit that collects beauty packaging tube, a glass jar of toothpaste
landfill or the ocean, and their plastic shows to reuse or recycle. In partnership with tablets, like these fluoride ones from
up in the fish we eat. “If society continues as brands including Ilia and Three Ships, Pact By Humankind ($15; byhumankind
we are, plastic pollution will get much worse takes empties by mail or at bins in Credo .com), is a simple cavity-fighting swap.
by 2040,” says Winnie Lau, Ph.D., a senior Beauty stores to divert from landfills. Crush one in your mouth, then brush
manager for the preventing ocean plastics Casale notes that when consumers speak, with a wet toothbrush.
project at The Pew Charitable Trusts. (For companies often listen. “If parents say, ‘I’m
any parent doing mental calculations: By not buying overpackaged stuff anymore,’ ” 3. Axiology Lip-to-Lid Balmies
he says, “they’ll change the industry.” ($14 each; axiologybeauty.com) are
wrapped in paper and then set inside a
carton made from recycled trash (and
although it surprises many, they’re the
same size as any other lipstick—without
the tube). The vegan castor-, hemp-,
and plum-oil formula glides on easily,
and the pretty colors look as good on
lips as they do on cheeks and lids.

4. Ideal for sloughing stubborn
ingrown hairs and those tiny bumps
on the backs of the arms called
keratosis pilaris, Soft Services Buffing
Bar ($28; softservices.co)—a solid
scrub—can be used in its entirety,
unlike a typical scrub in a tub.

5. Nēmah Revitalizing Stretch Mark
Cream ($34; nemah.com), a hydrating
blend of shea butter and macadamia
oil, comes in a simple aluminum tube
that’s shipped in a washable, reusable
bag instead of foam or paper packing
material. “Aluminum is infinitely

5 6P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

1

recyclable, so it has a higher resale
2 value than plastic,” Jenkins says.

6. Buy Kora Organics Turmeric Glow
Moisturizer ($58; us.koraorganics
.com) once. Then when you run out,
refill it with an easy-to-pop-in pod
($46 each) that uses less plastic than
3 a typical jar. Organic turmeric, licorice
root, and marine microalgae help
brighten and even out skin, and an oil
blend helps moisturize.

4 7. While a stainless-steel razor like the
Hanni Weighted Razor ($38; heyhanni
.com) is initially a higher investment
than the disposable varieties, it quickly
pays for itself in performance and

6 value. “One pack of blades is $6 and
lasts for months,” Jhánneu says.

8. Biodegradable capsules housed
5 in a cardboard jar contain the perfect

dose of Common Heir 10% Vitamin C
Serum ($88 for 60; commonheir
.com), which both brightens skin and
protects it from UV damage.

9. The blend of aloe, rice extract, and
squalane in Burt’s Bees Sensitive
Solutions Calming Night Cream
($15; burtsbees.com) helps soothe
redness and irritation while also
strengthening the skin’s barrier. And
7 it’s packaged in a glass jar that, unlike
plastic, is more likely to be recycled.

The coated 10. For low-makeup days, Maybelline
metal is nonslip
and won’t rust. New York Green Edition Superdrop
9 Tinted Oil ($12, drugstores) offers
8
an easy-to-blend, lightweight
jojoba- and marula-oil-based tint that
comes in a glass bottle made from
20 percent recycled material. It’s
available in eight shades now, with
eight more dropping in June.

11 Popping in 11. Wet and lather the Garnier Whole
10 a new shadow Blends Shampoo Bar ($7.50;
drugstores), then glide it through
is easy. soaked hair for a thorough but gentle
wash that leaves hair shiny. The
12 plant-based, biodegradable bar is
wrapped in a cardboard box with
zero plastic packaging.

12. There’s a place for plastic
when it’s meant to be used forever.
MOB Beauty offers refillable
compacts, lipsticks, and palettes
made from post-consumer recycled
plastic (which can be recycled
through Pact). The Eyeshadow
($12 for refill; mobbeauty.com), shown
here, comes in 24 vibrant shades.

YOUÑ Cover Story

Unapologetically

NABELA

Mom-to-be Nabela Noor is an advocate
for body positivity, an entrepreneur, and a proud

Bangladeshi American role model. After a
struggle with infertility and a pregnancy loss last

year, she and her husband, Seth Martin,
are getting set to welcome their first child,

a daughter, this spring.

by A D R I E N N E FA R R / photographs by VA N E S SA G R A N DA

ONE OF THE early glimmers that Nabela represented,” she said at the latter panel. central theme of her posts. She has
Noor, 30, was going to stretch beyond It was a surreal milestone for Noor, who spoken out against anti-Muslim hate
the role of conventional social media star started her career posting beauty and and told the story of her own parents,
was in 2018, when she was twice invited lifestyle clips like “Instagram Baddie who immigrated to the United States
to be a guest speaker at the United Makeup,” “Bengali + American Fusion from Bangladesh when her mother
Nations, first to talk about migration, Wedding,” and “DIY Gift Ideas.” was pregnant with her. And as she has
and later about her work as a body- continued to accrue followers—1 million
positivity advocate. “Just being a plus-size If anything, Noor has a gift for doing on YouTube, 2 million on Instagram, and
woman, a Muslim American, a child of things society doesn’t necessarily expect 7 million on TikTok—she has managed to
immigrants, there’s been so many places from her. Loving her plus-size body in the strike a balance between relatable and
in my life I’ve not felt equal, or enough, or face of both online and real-life criticism, aspirational: Noor is the upbeat friend
and preaching self-love to others, is a

5 8P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

“It’s very important to
me to make sure

I still serve looks,” Noor
says. “I want plus-size

women to know
that you can look
hot and be a pregnant
baddie mama.”

YOUÑ Cover Story

who speaks substantively about able to embrace unapologetically. I’m care of myself and practicing self-love WARDROBE STYLING BY SACHIKO CLYDE. PROP AND SET STYLING BY MARGUERITE WADE. HAIRSTYLING BY CHARLES MCNAIR FOR SEE MANAGEMENT USING ORIBE.
representation and cheers us all on. She thankful for my body, and I want to carry and kindness will empower her to do the MAKEUP BY MAYA RENE FOR THE CANVAS AGENCY. MANICURE BY YUKIE MIYAKAWA FOR SEE MANAGEMENT USING CHANEL. TAILORING BY EMMA SIENKIEWYCZ.
also rocks a lash look and lives in an that gratitude with me even after the same. The best thing we can do for our PREVIOUS SPREAD, ON NABELA: DRESS, OSEI-DURO. SHOES, ZARA. THIS PAGE: COURTESY OF NABELA NOOR. OPPOSITE, ON NABELA: DRESS, UNIVERSAL STANDARD.
enviable white-walled house, located in pregnancy. Also, it’s very important to me children is model the virtues that we
Central Pennsylvania, that seems to make sure I still serve looks. I want want them to possess.
made for close-ups and is stocked with plus-size women to know that you can
Mason jars and Smeg appliances. look hot and be a pregnant baddie mama. What are your feelings about
your rainbow pregnancy?
Throughout her rise, Noor and Seth What do you want to teach When I found out I was pregnant again,
Martin, 32, her husband and business your daughter about body image? I went to my therapist. Obviously, it was
partner, were hoping to start their own I think the best thing I can do is happy news, but I was sobbing, because
family. (In one TikTok clip, Noor tells the unapologetically love myself. Taking I was still grieving while accepting
story of how she and Martin met in a mall this blessing. Understanding the duality
in 2012, at a time she was contemplating ParentsÕ was very new. I started a journal, being
an arranged marriage. The young couple Lightning Round very honest about all the emotions.
eventually won her parents over.) After Because I have a lot of them. Also, my
years of trying to conceive and just before FAVORITE COMPLIMENT therapist gave Seth and me mourning
they were to start fertility treatments “You’re glowing,” which rituals that allowed us to grieve together.
last June, they got a positive pregnancy We planted a bush in our backyard. We
test. One week later, Noor miscarried and I think people say to all pregnant wrote letters to our baby that we lost.
filmed a video about the wrenching mamas, but I really feel it. Seth immediately stepped into being
experience to post online. She says now, my support. I remember thinking, “How
“I want to normalize these conversations, THE AMERICAN DREAM IS ... can I be there for him as he’s being
because I think to appreciate life, you Being able to live freely there for me?” I know that Seth had his
have to understand loss.” The couple own journey that he might not have
were still reeling when, a few weeks later, the life of your choice and to pursue felt he could be as expressive about. I got
Noor became pregnant again. She waited your dreams. I don’t him a necklace that has an infinity
two months to share the news with her circle in honor of our baby that he wears
followers just after Labor Day 2021. take this blessing for granted. every single day.

As she prepares for parenthood, she has BEST ADVICE FOR WOULD-BE Now I’m on clouds, but I’m also afraid
continued to nurture a series of business ENTREPRENEURS that today is the day I will be brought
ventures that align with her wider message down to reality, at the end of the rainbow.
and her roots. She is the founder of Zeba, Team up with people who know I wasn’t prepared for how every day,
an inclusive-size clothing brand named what they’re doing. Be realistic, be pregnant after a miscarriage, you prepare
after her mom, and Saara & Begum, a for the worst. I asked my doctor, “When
home-design collection that bears her pragmatic, be consistent. will I stop looking for blood?” He said,
grandmothers’ names and sells items like “I’ve had a patient ask that at 36 weeks.”
soy candles. (During the pandemic, Noor RAMADAN TRADITION He told that patient, “When you bring
started #PocketsOfPeace on TikTok, a Gathering with family every night your baby home.” That gave me a sense of
soothing montage of at-home moments, comfort and peace in knowing I wasn’t
like fluffing pillows and turning on the for iftar, the meal after alone in being scared every day.
shower, that went viral.) She partners sunset where we break fast.
with the anti-poverty Jaago Foundation in Is being so candid easy, hard,
Bangladesh to fund education for 20 girls BABY CHORE I’M MOST or a bit of both?
there. And in 2021, she added author to her LOOKING FORWARD TO It feels right and authentic to share
list of accomplishments with Beautifully Tidying and organizing her nursery. even the dark parts. I remember thinking,
Me, a children’s book (and Parents Raising someone else is going through what
the Future Book Club pick) that touches TWO OTHER PEOPLE TO I’m going through. So, for instance, I
on body image and diet culture. FOLLOW ON TIKTOK shared a TikTok compilation of myself
Vanesaamaro91 for getting hormone shots to help sustain
How has pregnancy changed this pregnancy.
the way you feel about yourself? cleaning inspiration, and Kelz for
An amazing part about being plus-size the best food reviews. Where do you find strength?
and pregnant is finally being in a place My mother and father. They immigrated
where you can just let it go. I’m Elsa. I am Noor and husband to this country not knowing English and
so free with my body—I love getting Seth Martin had to learn by living here. My dad was a
dressed now. My belly, an area women are taxi driver, and when he wasn’t driving,
traditionally told to hide and conceal, I’m

6 0P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

How do you feel about
carrying the torch for your
South Asian community?
Every milestone that I make as
a Bangladeshi American helps
people know Bangladesh more:
our talent, culture, and language.
In my kids’ book, Beautifully Me,
there’s a glossary at the end, so
there are white kids learning
Bengali words, okay? Even this
magazine cover. I’m thankful
to be able to be part of history
in so many ways for my
community.

Do you ever get backlash
from people because you
are Muslim?
I do get some really horrible
messages. But I think back to
right after 9/11, when a lot of
people were living in a constant
state of fear. My mother walked
out the door with her hijab on. I
said, “Mom, are you not scared?”
And she said, “No, I have God by
my side. I’m good. As long as you
feel strong enough, then you keep
going and don’t let anybody take
that away from you.” I draw
strength from her example.

he was working in a Häagen-Dazs factory, and siblings all live within a 15-minute We imagine you must be
the third shift. I’d wait up all night for radius. We’re a very tight-knit group, and proud of yourself.
him to bring the ice cream. And my mom, that closeness is a major Bangladeshi I’m very thankful, and with
she would sew these little bows for five value. I also really want my daughter to this pregnancy, extra emotional.
cents apiece because she didn’t have be multilingual like me. I want her to I probably almost burst into tears
language skills at the time. So my parents learn to make and enjoy South Asian three times during this interview.
came to this country with nothing, and food. I want her to understand our I cannot believe I was once a
with their grit and their strength, they holidays and to love our music and our girl who was bullied in school
built the life that I can now live today. To films. I’m very excited to introduce her and didn’t know how amazing it was to
be able to help fund their retirement has to both parts of her identity. Seth was be different, to have a unique language
been the best blessing. raised in a Christian home, and his and brown skin. That the girl would
background includes French and British grow up, empower others to love all
What family traditions are you ancestry, so we were going to France a lot things about themselves, become an
excited to pass on? in previous years. I can’t wait to take her author, a designer, encourage people to
I want my child to feel covered by family there and to Bangladesh and to show her find their pockets of peace and have
and nestled into our culture. My parents around. It’s just the dream. their rainbow baby—you just couldn’t
tell me that.

Exclusive Video!

Hover your phone’s camera
over the smart code to see
our cover shoot and the
couple in our video series
I Wish Someone Told Me.

YOUÑ Solutions

Tech Yes!

Oh look, another notification. And what was that ding? And did you
put that well visit in the shared calendar? If these digital

discontents sound familiar, take a page from tech-savvy parents with
strategies, hacks, and gadgets to streamline your digital life.

by L AU R A B I R E K

6 2P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

OPPOSITE: ANAÏS & DAX/AUGUST. THIS PAGE: SOLSKIN/GETTY. MY 8 - M O NTH - O LD called 911 the other events, projects, and weather. She loads Control That
night. I was bathing my two boys, trying the program onto her tablet, then props it Photo Roll
to keep their slippery bodies from up for everyone to see—but DAKboard
colliding, when my baby discovered the also sells a digital display to hang on the Raise your hand if
Apple Watch on my wrist. By the time I wall. $5 to $30 per month, $430 for your phone keeps running
noticed he’d activated emergency mode, display; dakboard.com
the screen was too wet to register touch. out of storage
After I explained to the dispatcher that Tackle to-dos. Michelle Thames, a because, well, your kids
my infant was pranking them, she gave social-media strategist in Chicago,
me a tip: “Next time, use the water lock swears by ClickUp, an app that promises are just too cute to
feature.” It’s such a simple thing—swipe to save you a full day each week. “It’s like go undocumented. Here
up, tap water droplet—and yet it prevents a to-do list times a thousand,” she says.
a fire truck from crashing bedtime. “I put everything in it, personal and are four ways to
work stuff.” The app syncs across devices prune those pics:
I’m a web developer and podcaster—a (update from your phone or laptop) and
digital native. Arguably, I should know offers whiteboards to help break tasks 1. BACK IT UP
all the tech tricks that can ease life into steps, charts to track progress, a link
with kids. But the 911 incident made me function to group-related tasks, and a Afraid of losing a single baby
wonder: Are other helpful features, chat feature to keep others in the loop. picture? Upload them
apps, and gadgets hiding in plain sight? iOS, Android, free; clickup.com
After asking a few tech-minded to a cloud service (Dropbox,
parents, I learned that the answer is Find that email you need. Inbox Google Photos) before
a resounding yes. overflowing? Lean on Gmail’s all-caps deleting. Also, Amazon
word AROUND to find words that are
Managing It All near each other in emails. Searching offers free photo backup for
“party AROUND 10 preschool” finds any Prime members.
Curb interruptions. Vivek Bhardwaj, mention of the word party within ten
who works in product marketing at Apple words of preschool, and reminds you 2. DELETE DUPES
and has a 15-month-old daughter, is a fan what you’re bringing to the class party.
of his iPhone’s downtime feature. “You And Richard Renzulli, who works in The Gemini Photos and
can only receive calls and messages advertising in the tech sector, says he Smart Cleaner apps
from contacts you’ve selected to allow used to have “an unthoughtful system of
communication with during downtime,” leaving emails in my inbox and forgetting free up space by finding similar
he says. The feature can be activated in what they were. Now I use categories: pics, prompting you to
Settings > Screen Time > Downtime. To-Do, Waiting (things I need a response save the best one, and
Another Apple tool is Focus, which works on), Read (things that don’t need a
like an out-of-office message for different response), and Newsletters (promotional deleting the repetitive shots.
scenarios like driving or sleeping. So if emails).” To categorize, select a Gmail $5 per month; iOS
you set your Focus to “personal,” it can message, then click on the “Label” icon
filter out calls and pings from work. Head (it looks like an arrow pointing right). 3. UP YOUR SEARCH GAME
to Settings > Focus. Available on iOS
Household Tasks Both Apple and Google
Combine schedules. By sending a have a built-in search feature
calendar invite to a partner or a coparent, Level up voice commands. When
a crucial upcoming event is added to logging a 3 a.m. feeding, do you really for photos, so you can
each of your calendars when they accept. want to be blinded by your phone? query by date, location (try
Licensed clinical social worker Sara Kristina Barkume, a research scientist “beach” or “mountain”), and
Wolfowitz of the Bay Area in California at Meta, spoke the info about feedings
uses it with her husband: “We invite each instead. “We connected the app Baby even by face. Search
other to pediatrician appointments, Connect to our Alexa and just told her your child’s name and a date
playdates, even ‘Can you do day-care any updates. No more fumbling in the
pickup this day?’ It’s one less thing we dark.” iOS, Android, free to see pics of them at a
have to remember to discuss.” certain age, and take shots of
Automate cleaning. With the free app
Get everyone on the same page. IFTTT (short for “if this, then that”), documents like insurance
you can set your Roomba to run whenever cards or driver’s licenses,
A digital display in a central location you leave the house. iOS, Android, free which you can retrieve using
can be a lifesaving family coordinator. your iPhone’s automatic text
Alicia Gonzales, a design project manager Let Alexa handle mornings. You may recognition capabilities.
in Colorado Springs, uses DAKboard, a not know that Alexa can be quite playful.
digital calendar that shows upcoming One of her games, Out the Door, helps kids 4. BOOK IT

Companies like Chatbooks
and Groovebook

provide monthly photo albums
that can be automatically

generated from the pics on
your camera roll.

YOUÑ Solutions

get ready in the morning. Each day, they’re cards (or schedule), have your kids do about my son switching to other apps
given a superpower and tasked with extracurricular learning at home. Leigh or changing my language settings to
defeating villains by dressing, brushing Smith of Brooklyn Robot Foundry, a Japanese … again.” You can also curate
their teeth, and combing their hair. STEAM-learning organization, loves the their viewing with apps like Noggin
online classes her kids have been taking. ($8 per month). Robin Monheit, senior
Rig a baby monitor. If you’re without “Instead of spending time driving, we log longform partnership manager at
one—or want to keep an ear out while on—for classes on D&D, crafts, and robot Twitter, recommends the free PBS Kids
cooking—use an iPhone and AirPods. building.” Outschool lets kids ages 3 to 18 Games app (for iOS and Android): “It has
Turn on Live Listen on the phone and pick from thousands of options. Starting a game of the day and multiple games
leave it in the room. (Settings > Control at less than $4; outschool.com for each show. Sometimes you just need
Center. Scroll down until you see video games, but I feel better knowing
“Hearing” and tap the green plus sign; Find appropriate fun. If your little one that it’s educational.” And if your kid has
from home screen, swipe down from the watches videos on your iPhone, “activate YouTube on the brain, offer the YouTube
top right for Control Center and tap Live Guided Access mode,” says Jessi Cox, Kids app instead, where you can monitor
Listen.) It will act as a mic, picking up a physician in Portland, Oregon. (For what they watch and block unwanted
sound and beaming it to your AirPods. Android devices, it’s called “screen videos and channels.
pinning.”) “It let me stop worrying
Let pets roam free. Have to let the dog Upgrade storytime. Monheit also
out but are stuck nursing? For around loves the Story Time app on Facebook’s
$200, you can install RFID-enabled pet Portal device, which lets you read with
doors so your animals can enter and the other caller as the story’s characters
exit. Or get the Wayzn Smart Pet Door, interact on-screen. “They add new stories
which converts your sliding door into an frequently,” she says, “and my kids love
app-controlled exit. $499; wayzn.com having Grandpa read to them with the
silly faces and animation.” You can also
Keeping Kids Happy PET TIP use the Portal for video calls (starting at TOP: OSCAR WONG/GETTY. BOTTOM: FOTOGRAFIXX/GETTY.
The BringFido app helps locate $149; portal.facebook.com). Alison
Try the secret soothing Apple TV Cardone, a senior talent development
parks and restaurants manager at Duolingo, likes TonieBox,
feature. Eric Mita, a consultant for a that will welcome your dog. “a speaker that comes with preloaded
New York City software company, found a stories and toys you set up to start and
hack for captivating his infant daughter. stop. It helped our daughter through a
“After playing music on our Apple TV, we sleep regression.” ($100; us.tonies.com)
noticed that she loved the screensaver.
It’s a series of calming photos and bits of Screen Limits and Safety
footage. Any from under the sea—a coral
reef, a floating jellyfish—delights her.” Control tween usage. Deidre
Caldbeck, who works in product
Sign up for no-fuss classes. If marketing at Apple, has used the Screen
driving to an art workshop isn’t in the Time feature for her iPad and Apple
Watch “since the day we offered it,” she
says. “When my daughter is using a device,
I can be sure she’s using it appropriately.”
You can set time limits on apps or types of
usage (like social media). Go to Settings >
Screen Time to customize your controls.

Teach safety strategies. If you and
your family ever do need to call 911,
unlike my bathing baby, there are apps
like bSafe and Noonlight (iOS, Android)
that alert loved ones and emergency
services if needed. Teach younger kids
how to call 911 on your device, using the
keypad or Emergency SOS feature. And
many jurisdictions in the U.S. now
support texting 911, which can be done
discreetly if needed. Check the FCC’s site
to see if this is the case in your area.

6 4P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

®/™ Trademarks © Mars, Incorporated 2019. Like mother's milk.

Packed with vital nutrients,

P EDIGREE® Ppuuppppyy,ssanteisefdiess.
a growing

YO UÑT h e H e a r t o f P a r e nt i n g

No Longer Alone With Autism

When my nonverbal 3-year-old joined a preschool class
for children with autism, I had to confront my dashed expectations. But

my son’s teacher helped me see the situation in a new light.

by K ATE SW E N S O N / illustrations by A N N E B E NTLE Y

“I TH I N K TH E parents who
have autistic children are the
lucky ones.”

I just stared at Cooper’s
new teacher. At this point in
our autism journey, no one
else had said anything positive
about autism spectrum
disorder (ASD) or my son’s
future. Everything we’d
heard was dark, and while I’m
typically a glass-half-full
person, the constant negative
was wearing me down.

I looked around to make
sure the teacher was talking
to us. Cooper had just thrown
a small child’s chair across
her classroom, barely missing
the Smart Board. My husband,
Jamie, was trying to manage
the chaos that came from
bringing Cooper into a new
space. Another chair bounced
off the wall with a thud. We
certainly made our presence
known.

We were visiting the
preschool program that
Cooper would start the
following day. It was an open
house at our neighborhood
elementary school. The new
teacher probably assumed
I was feeling anxious
about sending my nonverbal
son to school in a new city.
Of course, I was nervous.
He couldn’t communicate his
wants or needs. I worried

6 6P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

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YO UÑT h e H e a r t o f P a r e nt i n g

about his being able to ask for a drink or with parents and children, brimming I even took a step forward. If I just went
wandering off. I worried about people with an energy that only a dozen 3- and in, I thought, maybe we could blend in.
being nice to him. 4-year-olds can bring. Music was playing,
and a few of the kids were dancing on the “Ms. Swenson? Are you Cooper’s
But it was more than that. I felt sad. blue mat in the center of the room. mom? I recognize you from the photos
This wasn’t what I had imagined for you sent.”
preschool—sending my sweet boy to a Tears sprang to my eyes as I took it all
special education program for half days, in. This wasn’t Cooper’s room. I knew it I turned toward another door on my
and then sending him on a van for people in my heart. Yet I still wanted to go in. right and nodded to the kind-looking
with disabilities to an autism treatment lady who I assumed was Cooper’s new
program for the rest of the day. Cooper’s energy teacher. Her smile was huge and
level was unlike inviting, just what I’d hoped for in a
My friend’s daughter had started anything I had teacher for my son.
preschool the week before, and I saw a ever encountered in
photo of her on Facebook holding a my life. He didn’t sit. “Welcome! We are so excited to have
giant sign that said, “My first day of you here. Where is Cooper?”
preschool!” The caption was about their Not ever. He
shopping trip for the perfect backpack woke at 4 a.m. and I stepped away from the bustling class
and her daughter’s excitement about of children and into a much quieter room
the yellow school bus. went to sleep with her. As she shut the door behind us,
at 9 p.m. In between, I felt a ping of grief as I saw the small
It wasn’t like that for us. Cooper sign, “ASD Classroom-Pre-K.”
had no idea he was starting school. he ran.
He didn’t care about a backpack, and Like the room next door, this one
shopping was out of the question. was brightly colored. There were little
He hadn’t been in a store in almost a tables and chairs and a rug in the
year. While most kids learn their center. There was a big sensory swing
ABCs and 1-2-3’s, we were hoping that hanging from the ceiling and beanbag
Cooper would learn to sit and pay chairs for children who needed breaks.
attention and talk. There was no music, the lights seemed
dimmer, and all the parents were
I realized that we were lucky. He whispering.
hadn’t turned 4 yet and just made the
age cutoff for the school district’s autism
preschool program. It was a godsend
because he had been kicked out of every
day care he’d attended.

When we’d arrived 30 minutes earlier
for the open house, we were met by a
huge sign that said, “Welcome Pre-K’ers,”
and directed by neon-green arrows down
a hallway lined with little lockers.

Cooper didn’t see the arrows or
understand why we were there. He didn’t
care about meeting his new teacher
or seeing his new classroom. In fact, he
was really in a mood. The second he
saw the long hall, he took off running.
Jamie went after Cooper so I could meet
the teacher.

As I followed the arrows to pre-K,
I felt like an imposter. Moms and dads
were with their children Cooper’s
age—little bodies marching along with
their backpacks on. Some clung to their
mothers, while others made a game of
hopping from arrow to arrow.

When I reached the end of the hall,
I peeked inside a classroom. It was filled

6 8P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

The teacher told me there would be I had been given “Children like Cooper are special,”
five children in the class, which was the most precious she said. “I wouldn’t be sad at all if
wonderful because each child would get my own children were born with autism.
one-on-one attention. She told me gift in the It makes them unique.”
they would focus on daily living skills, form of a child,
communication, and peer interactions. one who wasn’t I was taken aback. I continued to stare at
She handed me a folder marked ASD, her, mouth open. Was she pulling my leg?
and I sat down to wait for Cooper and always
Jamie, who were still roaming the halls. easy to understand As the open house came to an end,
Jamie took Cooper out to the car while
I pulled the folder to my chest and or to teach. I filled out the last paperwork. I needed
turned to study the other four families. to ask the teacher a few more questions.
At this point, I didn’t know anyone else But then the door burst open, slamming As I sat there waiting, I felt incredibly
with autism. You hear the diagnosis rate into the wall. My little blond-haired alone. And I felt lonely for Cooper. It’s
is one in 59, but I couldn’t figure out boy in his button-down shirt for his big hard for children with autism to fit
where all the other kids were. It felt like day flashed a huge grin when he saw me. in with other kids. And it’s even harder
one in a million to us. He scanned the room, took in his for children with severe autism.
surroundings, and took off. He was like
I noticed that the other children were a tornado as he pulled the contents out “Those other boys, they have autism
boys too. Each was with his parents in a of every cubby. He dumped a giant like Cooper?” I asked the teacher
different part of the room. One was doing tub of crayons on the carpet and swept tentatively.
a puzzle. Another was climbing on the the papers off the teacher’s desk. I could
giant swing. I was surprised by how calm feel my anxiety rising and the sweat She nodded.
these children were, and engaged with gathering in the small of my back. All “It sure feels like my son is the
their parents. I heard a few of them talking. eyes turned to us. most ... spirited.”
“They all have their struggles and
Cooper’s energy level was unlike I let Jamie chase behind Cooper so their strengths. We just have to find
anything I had ever encountered in my I could speak to the teacher—who didn’t Cooper’s. You are a lucky mama, Kate.
life. He didn’t sit. Not ever. He woke at seem to mind the chaos at all. I felt He’s a great kid, and I’m excited to have
4 A.M. and went to sleep at 9 P.M. In an instant connection to her and her him in my class.”
between, he ran. Even when he watched excitement to teach my son. “But can you help him?”
television, he paced and bounced. He “I’m going to try.”
didn’t speak and didn’t play. As I walked to the door, I turned and
said, “He won’t be able to tell me
Maybe it will be fine, I thought. anything about his day. Like if he’s sad
Maybe he will come in and want to go or hates his lunch or whatever. I won’t
on the swing or roll on a beanbag. know what he did. And he might get
upset. You saw him. Please be nice to
him. Please love him like your own.
He’s so fragile and vulnerable.”
And with that, I broke down right
there in front of his teacher. I had been
given the most precious gift in the form
of a child, one who wasn’t always easy
to understand or to teach. All I could
do was trust that the world would treat
him well and deliver him back to me
in one piece.

Excerpt from Forever Boy: A Mother’s Memoir of
Autism and Finding Joy © 2022 by Kate Swenson.
Permission to reproduce granted by Harlequin
Enterprises ULC.

COURTESY OF THE SUBJECT. Left: Cooper at 3 with author Kate Swenson; Cooper was diagnosed with autism a month Talking About Autism Awareness
later. Right: Dad Jamie, Cooper, and Kate in 2020, when Cooper was 10, at Cooper’s first
restaurant visit since he was 18 months old. “We were so proud of him,” Kate says. Hover your phone’s camera
over the smart code to join
editor-in-chief Julia Edelstein,
author Kate Swenson, and
Parents advisor Silvia Pereira-
Smith, M.D., on Facebook Live
on April 7 at 12 P.M. (ET).

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LIFE.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY TOGETHER

EASE OFF THE PAPER
TOWELS, YES, BUT THERE

ARE BIGGER WAYS TO
MAKE AN ECO IMPACT IN

THE KITCHEN.

PAUL COSTELLO/OTTO. DESIGNED BY DAVID NETTO. Renovate

Your House

the Green

Way

A few eco-savvy home
improvements—from
smart tech to new
flooring and kitchen
upgrades—are
wise investments in
the long run for
your family and
the planet.

by S A R A H K A R N A S I E WC Z

7 1P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

COULD staying in be Homeowner
what inspires more Amanda Jane Jones
folks to go green? If
the renovation boom chose wood
is any indicator floors from the Hudson
(have you tried to get Company throughout
a contractor on the her home because of their
phone lately?), one commitment to using
upside of hanging out
at home may be a reclaimed wood.
new commitment to
make our houses UPGRADE
more comfortable,
efficient, and Install Hardwood Flooring
healthy—not just
for ourselves but The reasons to switch from On the affordable end of the environmentally responsible
for the earth. carpet to hardwood, bamboo, spectrum, bamboo, cork, and forestry practices, including
or tile floors go beyond Marmoleum—an all-natural minimal use of pesticides and
It doesn’t hurt that aesthetics: Carpeting often linoleum that comes in stylish other chemicals, protection of
many eco-friendly contains synthetic chemicals colors and designs (and looks wildlife, and fair wages and
home upgrades offer and is notorious for trapping nothing like your grade-school safe conditions for workers.
a different kind allergens. Plus, according to cafeteria)—are all excellent “When you see the FSC stamp,
of “green” benefit Realm, an online data platform options. But if you’re set on you can feel good that the
too. Whether it’s that analyzes the value of hardwood floors, the simplest flooring has been sustainably
splurging on energy- home improvements, putting way to know you’re making a produced and supports a local
efficient appliances in new floors is one of the most green choice is to look for economy,” Bartone says.
or adding better high-value upgrades you can products certified by the And you don’t have to settle:
air filters, lots of make, yielding a 342 percent Forestry Stewardship Council These days, FSC-certified
improvements can average return on your (FSC), says Kristin Bartone, a solid wood is available from
pay for themselves in investment. But when it comes LEED-certified designer based companies like Vermont Plank
utility savings over to making eco- (and family-) in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Flooring and Tesoro Woods in
time or by increasing friendly flooring choices, The international nonprofit many species and styles.
the value of your sustainable sourcing is the key. promotes socially and (Pricing runs from $6 to $20
home, should you sell.

If your wish list is
long and your budget
is finite, it’s tricky to
know where to begin.
We asked a few of
our favorite certified
green home designers
and architects—all of
whom are parents—to
walk us through
some oft-requested
items and identify
strategic, sustainable
changes to suit every
kind of family and
price point. Here’s
what they say
makes the biggest
difference.

LIFEÑHome Improvement

per square foot, depending UPGRADE
on grade, species, and cut.)
Add Smart Home Technology
Because it’s a recycled
product, reclaimed wood “If you’re looking for simple and AC accordingly. The With a plumber’s help, you
flooring—which has been updates that will cut down upside (besides maximum can even pair detectors with
salvaged from old barns and on chores, improve your coziness exactly when you a smart water valve (like the
other buildings headed for house’s efficiency, and want it) is that follow-up data Flo Smart Water Monitor &
the wrecking ball—is another increase your happiness, from Google has shown that, Shutoff, $760) connected
option to consider, says Laura smart home systems are a on average, the gadget saves directly to your water main,
Hodges, principal designer great place to start,” advises homes 10 to 12 percent which turns things off at the
at the Baltimore-based, Santa Monica–based on heating and 15 percent on source whenever it senses
LEED-certified firm Laura designer Sarah Barnard. cooling annually. trouble. If this seems like
Hodges Studio. Going with “And adding them doesn’t overkill, consider that
reclaimed doesn’t necessarily involve a gut renovation. Another device that can dripping faucets and other
mean embracing the There are plenty of entry deliver savings and peace of minor household leaks lead to
distressed look. (Although points that aren’t major mind is a smart leak detector, 10,000 gallons of water
with rowdy kids running budget breakers.” such as the one made by wasted every year in an
underfoot, getting used to a Moen ($50). When mounted average household, according
few dings here and there For instance, a Google Nest near a water heater, washing to the EPA. Catching and
might not be a bad thing.) learning thermostat ($249) machine, refrigerator, or repairing them early not only
“Reclaimed floors look great will gauge how long it takes other water-carrying saves finite resources, it helps
and come in all kinds of styles your house to heat up and cool appliance, it will monitor avoid pricey repairs and the
now,” Hodges says. “Plus, they down, figure out your family’s moisture and humidity levels growth of mold that can
can always be sanded down temperature preferences and and send a smartphone alert sicken your family.
and refinished like new.” schedules, and adjust heat at the first sign of a leak.
Some companies, such as the
OPPOSITE: PHOTO OF AMANDA JANE JONES’ HOME BY ALPHA SMOOT. THIS PAGE: COURTESY OF GOOGLE. Pennsylvania-based mill The Nest learning
Sylvan Brandt, offer thermostat comes in
nationwide shipping. But the
reclaimed flooring industry seven colors
does tend to be more regional to coordinate with
than its industrial counterpart,
so it’s worth googling options your décor.
in your area to try to shop
locally. (Pricing starts at $8
per square foot.)

When you don’t have the
budget to start from scratch,
Ross Smith of the Asheville,
North Carolina–based firm
Assembly Architecture and
Build suggests this fix: “If
you have a mix-and-match
situation with oak in one room
and pine in another, sand
everything down and finish
with a combo of Bona
NordicSeal, a sanding
sealant, and Bona Traffic HD,
a poly-like finish,” he explains.
“The NordicSeal has a cool
Scandi whitewashed look and
is a great way to unify patchy
floors—and when combined
with Traffic, it’s basically
bulletproof. Your kid will be
able to ride their scooter
through the house.” With
Greenguard certification
and low-VOC, water-based
formulas, both finishes offer
green bona fides to boot.
(Bona NordicSeal is $58 per
gallon; Bona Traffic HD is
about $139 per gallon)

7 3P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

LIFEÑHome Improvement

UPGRADE UPGRADE If you’re designing
a new kitchen,
Make Air Spring for a Green plan a place for
Improvements “Dream Kitchen”
a dedicated compost
According to Bartone, one Not only is the cooking space can be diverted from a landfill, bin, just as PHOTO OF AMANDA JANE JONES’ HOME BY ALPHA SMOOT.
unfortunate irony is that when the heart of your home, it’s is worth making the effort for.”
a home is well insulated and also one of the areas where you do for recycling
energy-efficient, the tight seal updates can make the biggest Selecting a sustainable and garbage.
between indoors and outdoors financial impact, according countertop doesn’t have to
can affect indoor air quality for to a 2021 Cost vs. Value mean giving up on a dream of trend, it’s strong enough to
the worse by preventing fresh Report recently published by a sleek marble island. “If stand up to the wear and
air from coming in and dust, the housing market research you’re in love with the look tear of family life. (After all,
dander, smoke, and other firm Zonda. On average, at of a natural stone, two things it’s been the go-to surface
pollutants from being filtered resale, homeowners see to consider are whether it in high school chemistry labs
out. “We don’t always think about a 72 percent return on can be traced to a responsible for years.)
about air—it’s just there and their investment from a source and how big a
you breathe it,” she cautions. minor kitchen remodel. footprint it has in terms of Are your appliances more
“But maintaining good air transportation costs,” Hodges than ten years old? If so,
quality in our home is extremely If you’re committed to a explains. Instead of relying trading up even a couple of
important for raising a healthy green reno, the key is making on resource-intensive slabs them can equal significant
family. It’s totally foundational.” mindful choices every step from quarries in China, health benefits and utilities
Her advice: If you’re ready to of the way, Hodges says. “To Italy, and Brazil, she advises savings. For instance, today’s
install a new HVAC system, opt reduce waste, I encourage seeking out responsibly dishwashers use about half
for one with a health-care-grade people to think about if they quarried domestic stone like the water and energy that
HEPA filter and pair it with a really need to change. But if creamy calacatta-esque they did two decades ago. To
fresh-air intake adapter (starting you are taking out cabinets, Imperial Danby marble from simplify shopping, look for
at around $250, not including donate them to Habitat for Vermont (about $140 per models labeled with the EPA’s
installation) that continually Humanity or another place square foot) or rich gray Energy Star certification, or
replaces the stagnant, where they can be resold or soapstone from Virginia go to energystar.gov to search
contaminated air inside your reused. Hardware, ($75 to $110 per square foot). by specific categories. Some
home with fresh air from the appliances—anything that Soapstone is not only on dishwashers from Bartone’s
great outdoors. favorite brand, Bosch (starting
at $899), use as little as
You can still reap plenty of 2.9 gallons of water per wash
benefits without a total cycle and are so quiet they’ll
overhaul by simply adding never interrupt naptime or
better filters to your existing disturb viewings of The
system’s return vents and Great British Baking Show.
air handler. When shopping for Replacing a gas range with an
furnace and air conditioner induction cooktop (starting
filters, look for ones—like the at around $1,000) will reduce
Nordic Pure MERV 10 ($36 energy usage and cut down on
for six)—that have a MERV volatile indoor air pollutants
(Minimum Efficiency Reporting like carbon monoxide and
Value) rating in the 10 to 13 nitrogen dioxide—and
range, which should remove because it does away with
upwards of 90 percent of open flames and hot surfaces,
the airborne pollutants that it makes the kitchen safer
cause common health and for kids. “The up-front costs
respiratory issues. of upgrading might feel a
little steep,” Bartone says.
“Eco upgrades “But you should think of it
aren’t just grand as an investment in your
pocketbook and the planet.”
gestures like
solar panels. Baby

steps are as
important.”

—designer Laura Hodges

74P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

Twenty years of sustainable periods.

Recycle through the visit divacup.com to learn more
DivaRecycles Program

LIFEÑMental Health

COPING WITH
CLIMATE CHANGE

ANXIETY

From the moment our children are born,
we strive to protect them. But as climate
catastrophes grow more frequent, this goal
has become painful to contemplate. The
average child will live through roughly three
times as many climate disasters as their
grandparents did. Right now, almost every
child in the world is exposed to a major
climate or environmental hazard, and one in
three are exposed to four or more, according
to UNICEF. Spend even a moment pondering
this, and it’s hard not to sink into despair.
But there are reasons to keep the faith. Says
who, you ask? The people most intimately
familiar with the problem: climate scientists.
We asked six experts in the field—all of them
parents—how they stay hopeful.

as told to K ATI E C . R E I LLY / illustrations by S TE P H A N I E S I N G LE TO N

76P A R E N T S APRIL 2022



LIFEÑMental Health

Take Action

Catherine Coleman Flowers
Madison, AL

Environmental and climate justice activist,

founder of the Center for Rural Enterprise and

Economic Justice, and mother of one

ONE OF THE things that’s helped me sanitation and climate justice 20 years if I hadn’t taken that first step.
deal with my dread as a parent facing ago, I didn’t know where it would lead. I always keep in mind the Seventh
climate change is taking action. So the My goal was to fix a problem, but I had
first task is to get involved. We all no idea how. Sometimes you just have Generation Principle, which I learned
have to decide what role we’re going to put one foot in front of the other and while working with the indigenous
to play in addressing this crisis. Of be willing to learn. We may need to community. The idea is that the decisions
course, sometimes I get overwhelmed change course sometimes, but each we make today should help build a
by my work, and when that happens, step will move us in the right direction. sustainable world seven generations into
I stop and I breathe, and I start My fight has involved amplifying these the future. We need to act with concern
figuring out how I can act in a way issues by writing a book and several not only about what happens in the
that won’t add too much to my plate. op-eds, proposing policy, and grabbing here and now but also by understanding
Not everyone is able to plan a major the mic to share stories of impacted the impact of our actions on our children,
campaign. Your form of action will families. None of it would have happened our children’s children, and the many
depend on your area, the community generations that will come after.
you’re in, and what issue you’re
dealing with. There are things that
may be unique to your area that need
to be addressed, like air or water
quality, flooding, or unsustainable
infrastructure. For example, a parent
in Mount Vernon, New York, where
raw sewage is flowing back into homes,
will take a different course of action
from a parent in Benton Harbor,
Michigan, who is dealing with lead in
the water. No one knows what a
community needs better than someone
who’s in that community.

Parents will also need to determine
what they can do with the time they have
available. Sometimes you just have
to start however you can. There may be
things parents are already doing that
they might increase or modify in a way
that turns it into climate action. Another
step any parent can take is to vote, and
write letters to officials at the state,
local, and federal levels that support
climate justice for all.

There is no template for taking action.
When I started working on water

78P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

Educate Those Think
Around You Bigger Than

Melissa Burt, Ph.D. Yourself
Fort Collins, CO
Katharine Hayhoe, Ph.D.
Atmospheric scientist, assistant dean for diversity Lubbock, TX

and inclusion at Colorado State University, Climate scientist, chief scientist for
The Nature Conservancy, Texas Tech
cofounder of Science Moms, and mother of one
University professor, cofounder
FLOWERS AND BURT: COURTESY OF THE SUBJECTS. HAYHOE: ARTIE LIMMER/TEXAS TECH UNIVERSITY. ONE DAY NOT long ago, I was chatting kinds of conversation, to hopefully of Science Moms, and mother of one
with a few moms on my street. Mostly, we educate others and alleviate some of the
talk about our kids and only rarely about feelings of guilt or anxiety that many I DON’T THINK about climate change as
our jobs. A mom who was new to the of us are having. Our organization a separate issue on my list of concerns,
neighborhood asked me what I did for a provides parents with the resources because it affects everything on my list.
living. I said, “I study climate change.” they need to understand the urgency of My child’s future, the air they breathe,
She said, “Oh, that’s not a real thing, is the climate issue and take action. the safety of our home. It’s important to
it?” Another mom echoed her question. acknowledge to yourself that all the
So I started to pick their brains a bit. I As a Black woman, I also want people difficult feelings you’re experiencing
asked questions like, “Haven’t you who look like me to understand that because of climate change, like anxiety,
noticed that here in Colorado, it’s been this is a problem that affects them, as fear, or being overwhelmed, are
getting hotter every year? Haven’t you climate change is disproportionately completely natural. How can you not feel
noticed the increased prevalence of impacting communities of color. I was those fears when you understand what’s
wildfires?” And through my prodding, recently speaking on a panel, and a Black truly at stake for our descendants?
these women began to question how woman emailed me afterward to say,
it was that they hadn’t known what a “I never thought that climate change A long time ago, the folk singer Joan
big problem climate change is today. impacted me or my community before Baez said that the antidote to despair is
I started to see the impact that simple I heard you speak.” I want moms of action. So rather than allowing those
conversations like this can have, which color, particularly Black moms, to know feelings to paralyze us, we can use them
motivated me to cofound Science that I am speaking to them and their to motivate us. When we act, that’s
Moms, a group of scientist mothers who kids. We all have a voice that deserves where we find real hope. The most
provide the public with information to be heard. The way we manage our important thing we can do is use our
on combatting climate change. But we fears about the future is by using those voices. And we parents have some pretty
really need all parents to have these voices—which you can’t do if you don’t loud voices! We can advocate for action
know about the problem. at our kid’s school or where we work or in
our neighborhood or church. The point
Sometimes you just have to put one is, start where you are and speak up.
foot in front of the other.
Collective action is the only thing
We may need to change course, that’s ever inspired big societal
but each step will change in modern society. We need
to tackle climate change. We need
move us in the right direction. to remember that we’re part of groups
that are bigger than ourselves. And
when we work together and use our
voices to call for change, that’s how
we change the world.

LIFEÑMental Health

Help Your information about the issue they’ve Acknowledge
Kids Work Through raised so you’re in a better position to to your child
help them make sense of it. For example, that, yes, climate
It Too one friend’s child heard that animals
were going extinct because of climate change is a
Lise Van Susteren, M.D. change and thought their dog, Charlie, problem, but we
Washington, DC was going to die. By learning more, a
parent can respond more authoritatively: have agency;
Psychiatrist with expertise on the “Charlie is going to be just fine, but this is what we
mental health effects of climate change, there are other animals in the world that
we need to protect.” The most critical can do.
author of Emotional Inflammation, aspect of this process is the leverage
cofounder of Climate Psychiatry Alliance, part, which involves taking what you’ve to find an action that the family can
learned and coming up with a plan. take collectively. You want to coach your
and mother of three In some cases, you can start by telling kids to adopt the psychological
your child what your family already framework of community, to value the
WH E N TALKIN G TO kids about climate does to fight climate change: “This is idea of contributing to the greater
change, I advise using the three L’s: why we eat a plant-based diet” or good. You can tell your kids that while
listen, learn, and leverage. First, listen “This is why we recycle.” The leverage some may say an individual’s actions
to what your child is saying about the component lets you acknowledge to your don’t make a difference, what we do isn’t
environment or natural disasters or the child that, yes, climate change is a counted individually but together.
effect of climate change on animals, problem, and we’re vulnerable because And our collective actions add up to
whatever it may be. Validate the emotion of it, but we also have agency; this is a whole lot.
they’ve expressed, then seek more what we can do. You can empower your
child by explaining that because they
brought up this topic, because of their
very valid concerns, you’re going to start
doing X as a family. It’s an opportunity

Talk to Someone someone who is empathetic, who can If they are, ask them not to respond VAN SUSTEREN AND ALLURED: COURTESY OF THE SUBJECTS.
About Your Fears help you tolerate difficult feelings. It’s but just to listen and to try to understand
very painful to feel terror when you’re you. Counseling and psychotherapy
Elizabeth Allured, Psy.D. alone, but if you know that someone is support the belief that when a person
Manhasset, NY open to listening, it becomes a little less feels heard and empathized with, their
terrifying. It’s important to first ask if distress levels decrease. However, if
Psychologist, copresident of Climate this person is open to hearing your fears. your feelings get too intense to be helped
Psychology Alliance by a “lay” listener, you can find a climate
It’s painful to therapist in the directory on our website,
North America, and mother of two feel terror climatepsychology.us. It’s a growing need,
as more and more people report feeling
WE AS PARE NTS need to first unpack when you’re alone, distraught about climate change,
how we feel when we really look at the but if you know and as extreme weather events leave
climate crisis. There is a large range of thousands with post-traumatic stress.
emotions that parents can experience: that someone is open There are mental health clinicians who
fear, guilt, sadness. To sort out these to listening, it have been trained to understand the
feelings, you need a listener—a partner, a emotional impacts of the climate crisis
friend, an adult family member. Ideally, becomes a little less and do not pathologize people for feeling
terrifying. distressed. Learning to cope with this
very difficult subject is not going to be
a simple, one-day process. Some days,
you may feel hopeless. But other days,
you may feel we’re making progress and
that more progress is on its way.

8 0P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

DOHERTY: ELIZABETH SATTELBERGER. Do What You Now for Some Good News
Can—That’s Plenty
Knowing there are winnable battles out there
Thomas Doherty, Psy.D. helps. Here are some recent victories.
Portland, OR
Fossil fuel is no longer the only game in town.
Psychologist specializing in applying In December 2021, United Airlines operated a passenger �light from
environmental perspectives to mental health, Chicago to Washington, D.C., using sustainable fuel. Last December, New York
City banned the use of natural gas in new buildings; it’s predicted that
fellow of the American Psychological this will cut 2.1 million tons of carbon emissions by 2040. Forty percent of the
Association, and father of one greenhouse gases emitted in New Jersey, a major shipping hub, comes from
transportation, but the state will be among the �irst to adopt Advanced Clean
THE RE’S THI S idea in counseling of Truck Rules, phasing out diesel trucks and requiring manufacturers to sell
“good enough parenting,” where you don’t zero-emission trucks. And at the climate summit in Glasgow last year, the world’s
have to be perfect, just good enough. leaders acknowledged for the �irst time the role of fossil fuels in the
And if you are, your kids will be okay. We climate crisis and pledged to roll back their reliance on coal as a fuel source.
can start to imagine what good enough
parenting means with respect to the The �ight against food waste is ramping up.
environment. What are changes that we An estimated 30 to 40 percent of the food in America is wasted, according
as parents can make that are also within
our ability? Things like: How many cars to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. But composting is one part
should we own? Do we have electric or gas of the solution, and last year, legislation passed in California requiring people
heating? Do we have efficient appliances?
How many children are we going to have? to toss excess food into bins to be composted by their town or
city and grocery stores to donate unsold but edible food to food banks.
I want parents to be their best selves
in regard to climate change, but it’s also Renewable energy is becoming more widespread.
important not to saddle people with In 2021, the U.S. Department of the Interior advanced three solar projects in
unfair responsibility. Parents can only
take the actions that are within their California that will generate enough electricity to power 132,000 homes.
ability, and sometimes the only available
action is simply to bear witness to the Emissions are being reduced.
issue. One driver of eco-anxiety is people General Motors announced last year that it would phase out gas- and
feeling inadequate, like they aren’t doing
enough. We have to be careful with this diesel-powered cars and trucks, pledging to sell only vehicles with
push for personal responsibility. Climate zero tailpipe emissions by 2035. And climate-tech start-ups reportedly raised
change is a systemic problem. We
wouldn’t tell parents to fix the bridges in a record amount of capital last year (almost �ive times what
our town. That would be absurd. We they raised �ive years ago), and more than 80 percent of those funds
expect the government to do that. So we
need to think about how to elect people will support alternative energy and transportation start-ups.
who will do what we need.
These issues are more on our mind than ever.
One of the most powerful things I can Net�lix’s climate change allegory Don’t Look Up became the most-watched �ilm
tell parents is that even with the dire
scenarios predicted, there are going to be in the streaming service’s history, sparking countless conversations—some
good days in the future. There will be bad with viewers who’d been unaware of these issues—about the realities ahead.
days: disasters, fires, floods. But that
doesn’t mean that there won’t be sunny, And a fall 2021 study from the Pew Research Center showed that concern
good days for ourselves and for our about climate change around the world has risen sharply since 2015. The more
families. Throughout human history,
there have always been both kinds of we look this crisis in the eye, the better our chances of turning the tide.
days. That isn’t going to change.

LIFEÑ Cleaning

The Eco-Friendly
Cleaners You Need

If Mother Earth was dealing with dirty sippy cups, milk-stained jammies,
and fingerprint-smudged windows, she’d use these 25 products with

planet-friendly ingredients, all of which delivered results for our testing families.

by K A R E N C I C E RO / photographs by P E TE R A R D ITO

LAUNDRY Essential
oils leave
Best Laundry Pods laundry smelling
Nestled in a container
made of recycled and fresh.
compostable paper,
Aspen Clean Laundry Best Baby Laundry
Detergent Pods are Detergent
completely waste-free.
Testers were fans of the With ingredients that help
Eucalyptus & Rosemary remove milk stains, Babyganics
scent. Without any 3X Lavender Laundry
extra treatment, “the Detergent earned high marks
pods took the grass from new parents. “It cleaned
stains out of my kid’s my son’s bibs even though I let
T-shirt,” one parent some of them sit at the bottom
said. $17 for 36 pods; of the hamper for a week,” one
aspenclean.com tester said. There’s an unscented
version if you prefer it. $20 for
60 loads; amazon.com

Best Laundry Innovation Best Liquid Laundry Best Dryer Balls SEVENTH GENERATION, COURTESY OF THE BRAND.
Detergent
Ecos Plastic-Free Laundry Way cuter than other brands,
Detergent Squares give It’s easy to teach kids how to do Hello Bello Dryer Balls
dryer-sheet vibes. You toss their own laundry with Seventh leave clothes soft and reduce
one or two into your load, and Generation Power + Easy wrinkles, our testers said.
the dirt-removing enzymes Dose Laundry Detergent Clean Since they’re made of wool,
dissolve in the water and work Scent. “Turn the bottle over and they sop up more moisture
their magic—no liquid detergent squeeze once for small loads than plastic versions
needed. “We packed a box or twice for large,” one tester and reduce drying time (and,
in our luggage and used the explained. You can’t overpour ultimately, your electric bill).
sheets all week in the wash at because the cap automatically Store them on a high shelf
our vacation rental,” a tester stops dosing. Testers reported so your kids don’t swipe them
said. “It took ice-pop stains out that it cleans clothes at least as for their toy box. $16 for six;
of the kids’ clothes.” $27 for well as their usual brand. $14 hellobello.com
two packs of 57; amazon.com for 66 loads; target.com

8 2P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

Family Organizer

LIFEÑ Cleaning

KITCHEN

These
germ-fighting

wipes are
soft and strong.

Best Dishwasher Pods Best Kitchen Cleaner

Powerful citric extracts are the With a hint of essential oils,
secret sauce in Lemi Shine Boulder Clean Lavender
Dishwashing Detergent liquid- Fields Granite + Stainless
powder pods. “We use acrylic Cleaner leaves appliances
glassware since my kids are and countertops streak-free
young and break everything, and smelling amazing. “I
and it usually comes out of the didn’t realize how dull my
dishwasher looking cloudy granite counters had become
and feeling greasy,” said a until I squirted this on and
tester. “Lemi Shine made it they polished up like new,”
perfect after one wash!” $18.50 one tester reported. $7 for
for 60 pods; lemishine.com 28 fl. oz.; boulderclean.com

Best Dish Soap Best Bottle Soap ESSENTIALS

It’s not as sudsy as our testers’ An ingredient made from Best Disinfecting Wipes (tie)
usual brands, but Palmolive coconut helps give Dapple Praised by testers for having the perfect amount
Ultra Pure + Clear Fragrance Baby Bottle & Dish Soap of moisture, CleanWell Botanical Disinfecting
Free cleaned saucy pots and stain-removing power. “It Wipes contain a natural disinfectant that’s
greasy baking trays like a champ. cleaned all the breast milk derived from thyme oil. “But they smell more
“And without as many bubbles, residue from our baby bottle’s lemony than anything else, and I especially
it didn’t take as long to rinse the parts and did wonders for my liked using them in the kitchen,” a tester
dishes,” one parent said. $3.50 pump too,” a mom said. $5 noted. $10 for 80; amazon.com
for 32.5 fl. oz.; target.com for 16.9 fl. oz.; walmart.com
As if being able to toss them
How We Chose the Winners in the compost bin weren’t
already the dream, Real
We started with more than 125 products that are free of ammonia, Simple Compostable
hydrochloric acid, petroleum, phthalates, and sodium hydroxide Wipes have a delicate
(except in small amounts for pH balance)—chemical ingredients orange-basil scent.
that Parents advisor Philip Landrigan, M.D., a pediatrician and “They smell like a nice
director of the Global Observatory on Pollution and Health at candle,” one tester said.
Boston College, cited as most concerning to the environment. (Real Simple, like Parents,
Twenty-plus families with kids scored the supplies on their is owned by Dotdash
effectiveness, scent, ease of use, and sustainable packaging. Meredith.) $8 for 35;
thecontainerstore.com

8 4P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

“It removed the Best Cleaning
grime from Innovation

my bathroom tile After you spritz Mrs. Meyer’s
and kept it Clean Day Probiotic Multi-
Surface Cleaner on your
looking good counters or tile, beneficial
until I got around bacteria hang around in nooks
and crannies for about a
to cleaning week to prevent buildup and
again.” break down dirt. (Yes, they
remain even if you’ve wiped
the surface). $6.50 for
16 fl. oz.; mrsmeyers.com

Best Wipes to Go Best All-Purpose Disinfectant Best Microfiber Cloths

Whether you need to disinfect Clean visible grime and stamp out germs at Maker’s Clean Large Space
a shopping cart handle or the same time: Safely Universal Cleaner relies Kit, a set of ten cloths of various
clean ice-cream drips from on salt- and coconut-based ingredients to cut sizes, got perfect scores from
your toddler’s hands, The through grease, while lemongrass, citric acid, and everyone for their softness
Honest Company Sanitizing corn-derived alcohol team up against bacteria. and absorbency, and the
Alcohol Wipes with aloe Said one tester: “It took burned-on food off our gas multiple colors make color-
do the job while keeping skin range.” $6 for 28 f l. oz. bottle or 32 f l. oz. refill; coding a breeze. For instance,
soft. Our testers liked the getsafely.com green flat-weave cloths are for
grapefruit grove scent. glass and electronics. $60;
$3 for a pack of 15 or $7 for makersclean.com
50; honest.com
“I love the
quality of Maker’s
Clean microfiber

cloths.
They’ve lasted

through
many washes.”

OPPOSITE PAGE: PALMOLIVE, COURTESY OF THE BRAND. Best Paper Towels A great
all-arounder,
Made entirely from recycled Safely (that’s
fibers, Reel Premium Recycled the name) works on
Paper Towels “hold up as well soap scum,
as my usual brand,” one tester grease, and dirt.
reported. “I was able to wipe
down my countertops with just Best Disinfecting Spray
one piece.” Bonus: Each roll is
wrapped in paper instead of Purell Multi Surface
plastic. You can opt for a version Disinfectant Citrus works fast:
with smaller, half-sheet pieces. It requires just 30 seconds
$40 for 12 rolls; reelpaper.com to eliminate germs (including
coronavirus), while many
other brands need to stand
for five minutes or more. $7
for 28 fl. oz.; amazon.com

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with a little help

from YOUR FRIENDS.

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mold stains, food grease, and dreaded a microscopic deep clean while leaving
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LIFEÑ Cleaning

BATHROOM

“It even got rid of
ink stamps

from my hallway
wall,” a

tester said.

Best Glass Cleaner

Brandless Refillable Glass
Cleaner left windows and
mirrors streak-free and
smelling great. The starter kit
includes a 32 fl. oz. spray
bottle and a cucumber-mint
packet that dissolves in
cold water. $6 for the kit or two
refill packets; brandless.com

Best Scrub “I clean the
shower once a
With a baking soda base, Squeak Too Legit Grit removes rings around the
faucet, tub stains from colorful bath bombs, and, according to one tester, week. This
crayon from the walls. Rosemary and lemon essential oils leave a nice aroma. product easily
$12 for 8 oz.; getsqueakywithus.com takes care of the
buildup that’s
accumulated.”

Best Toilet Bowl Cleaner Best Bathroom Spray

Ideal for daily freshening, Testers used Aspen
Method Antibacterial Toilet Clean Bathroom
Cleaner deploys citric acid to Cleaner on soap scum,
kill germs in the bowl. Testers hard-water marks,
reported that the bottle is easy and even dark mildew
to grip and the spout’s design stains—all with great
helps prevent overpouring. success. Recycled
$4 for 24 fl. oz.; target.com packaging and a light
lavender-lime scent
are welcome extras.
$10 for 22 f l. oz.;
aspenclean.com

8 8P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

You can buy a “The machine
Tornado mop is easy to
separately or with
a bucket that program and will
contains a chamber save me from
purchasing
to help you hundreds of
wring out the mop.
bottles a year for
our family Make Your
of five.” Own Cleaning

Best Mop Supplies
The mop’s washable
head in the Libman The Cleanyst System
Tornado Spin Mop reminded our testers of
System means it will a SodaStream—only
have a long lifespan. they were whipping up
Testers noticed that the spray cleaners, dish
head is bigger than soaps, laundry detergents,
many other brands, so and body-care products
cleanup goes faster. A like shampoo and hand
one-year warranty is soap rather than sparkling
included. $35; lowes.com water. The way it works:
You fill the reservoir of the
FLOORS appliance with tap water
and load one of the nine
“I give the Bona Best for Hardwood Best All-Purpose empty mixing bottles and
cleaner a 10 out Floors Floor Cleaner a plant-based concentrate
of 10 for shining pouch in the appliance.
up our old pine The recently reformulated Vinegar and essential oils Then you select the
floors. It removed Bona PowerPlus Hardwood give dirt-blasting power to mixing program for the
Floor Deep Cleaner uses Squeak Floor Me. You can product you’re making
lots of dirt hydrogen peroxide to loosen squirt it on any kind of and press start to blend
without streaking buildup and reach dirt hard-surface floor or add everything together. (You
below the surface. “Although it to your fave spray mop. can add a fragrance like
and left behind my entryway floor looked One tester noted: “My house tea tree extract to a bottle
a pleasant, pretty clean, this solution smelled amazing after I prior to mixing.) “It took
pulled up so much grime,” a mopped.” $14 for 32 fl. oz.; me about 45 minutes to
fresh scent. I may parent said. $8 for 22 fl. oz.; getsqueakywithus.com make all bottles and clean
actually want target.com up,” a tester reported.
to clean more Divide and Testers noted that all the
often.” Conquer! products they created
clean as well as or better
Hover your phone’s camera than their usual brands.
over the smart code for Said one tester: “I’m
ways to get your kids super-impressed with the
hand soap.” $99.50 for
involved in spring cleaning. the All In Starter Kit, which
includes the appliance,
nine bottles, and nine
packets; cleanyst.com

LI F EÑTo g e t h e r T i m e

The Call of the Wild “LO O K!” my husband JOHN BLAIS/GALLERY STOCK.
whispered, pointing out the
In discovering the creatures right in our own backyard, car window as we ate slices of
my son and I also found a new way to bond pizza while parked by a nature
preserve. Sitting on the fence
with each other and the natural world around us. post near us was a magnificent
hawk. We watched it in silence
by L AU R A F E NT O N until it gracefully swooped off.

“Red-tailed, for sure,”
commented my 6-year-old
from the backseat between
bites of pepperoni.

“I don’t know,” I countered,
“It was awfully small.”

“Tail feathers were
definitely red,” my husband
replied.

To my great amazement,
my family has transformed
from city slickers into a bunch
of amateur naturalists, the
type of people who highlight
the birds they’ve seen in a
field guide and snap photos of
interesting-looking beetles.
Our newfound connection
to wildlife is one of the best
things that has ever
happened to us as a family:
It’s brought us closer and
opened our eyes to the world.

It all started with
Grandma’s bird feeder. The
parade of feathered friends
that visited my parents’ yard
in Connecticut was like catnip
to my son and his cousins.
But when my son would ask,
“Mom, what’s that?” I
couldn’t identify much beyond
a blue jay or a cardinal, and
I, too, was curious to know
more. So we installed our
own feeder at our house in
Queens, New York, centered
in the grass outside our
largest window. Then we
picked up a regional bird
guide and read about how to
attract birds to our backyard.

Together, my son and I
discovered that birds,

9 0P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

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LI F EÑTo g e t h e r T i m e

especially hatchlings, need more than ecosystem right in our own backyard. families, from sparking an interest in
birdseed to thrive (though a feeder And I discovered that communing conservation to experiencing the pure
is a surefire way to attract them). The with wildlife is a meaningful way to joy of spying on caterpillars. To wit:
woodpeckers and warblers, not to connect with my own baby bird. We’ve all read the grim statistics about
mention the swallowtail butterflies, kids ages 8 to 12 spending time in front
desperately need more food (bugs! native My family isn’t the only one that of screens (often more than four hours a
berries! plants!) and habitat (native tapped its inner naturalist during the day, according to the American Academy
bushes and trees) in our suburban and pandemic years. The National Audubon of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry). For
urban yards because there are fewer Society saw downloads of its Audubon kids who are more comfortable with an
wild places with every passing year. Bird Guide app increase 81 percent iPad than with outdoor play, cute
We also learned how plants and critters from June 2019 to June 2020. Visits to creatures can be an enticement to get
are irrevocably intertwined: Milkweed the Cornell Lab of Ornithology’s live out of the house. “Let’s go play outside”
and monarchs is the best-known bird cams doubled last year. And in is a vague invitation. “Let’s go see if we
example, but there are thousands of 2020 alone, an estimated 67.2 million can find a monarch caterpillar” is a
these plant-insect relationships. households purchased plants because specific call to action.
If, for example, we want to see a zebra they benefited birds, butterflies,
swallowtail, we’d better plant some and bees, according to the National “Looking for birds and other creatures
pawpaw trees. It dawned on us that we Wildlife Federation. leads to a really deep and observant
could have some control over the mini connection to nature,” says mom of two
Observing wildlife—in a backyard or Jennifer Tyrrell, an engagement
at the nearest park—can do so much for manager at Audubon South Carolina.
“Kids learn about ecology and food
chains, what habitats the birds use, and
how they use them.” It also gets them
interested in caring for Mother Earth.
“Our kids are the future stewards of the
planet, and our planet is on the edge,”
says Doug Tallamy, author of Nature’s
Best Hope. “Their first lessons about their
relationship with nature come from
their parents.”

During my son’s preschool obsession
with construction sites, I learned
a lot about trucks, but it never sparked
a genuine personal interest. Nature,
however, is something I am now happy to
talk about with him nonstop, and I’d
much rather read Birds of Prey than the
latest Ninjago book at bedtime. When
my son and I recently spotted a dad and a
teenage son at the beach with binoculars,
I realized we’d stumbled upon a shared
interest that could go the distance.

Share the Nature Love

Some Ways to Capture Their Interest

Play “bug detective.” Tallamy uses a
simple activity to reveal just how many
creatures live in a yard or a patch of
parkland: Take a plain white piece of
paper and a handheld magnifying glass
into the backyard. If you have a place
with leaf litter, clear it away and set the
paper on the cleared ground. If not, just
place it in the grass or in a garden bed.

9 2P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

PET TIP REWILD YOUR YARD
Give birds fair warning by
A few simple swaps can transform any size yard
equipping your cat’s into a lively wildlife destination.
collar with a bell or using a
OPPOSITE PAGE, LUCA ZORDAN/GALLERY STOCK. THIS PAGE, CAROL YEPES/GETTY. Limit pesticides. These can Plant a tree. Most yards don’t
colorful Birdsbesafe inadvertently kill butterflies, have enough, says Molly Henry,
collar cover. $12; amazon.com bees, and fireflies, and some senior manager of climate
of them aren’t good for your and health at the conservation
Soon you’ll see tiny insects, including family either. nonprofit American Forests
spiders and springtails, which you can and a stepmom of two. “The
examine with your glass. Create a butterfly buffet. act of planting a tree with a
Even a city window box can child encourages so many
Be a night explorer. The best time provide a place for pollinators questions about the natural
to see caterpillars is actually at night. to feed. Head to the National world,” Henry says. “And that
Once the sun sets, head out with a Wildlife Federation’s Native will hopefully lead to a new
flashlight to spot inchworms and Plant Finder to find the generation of urban-forest
caterpillars hanging from silk threads right ones for your region stewards.” Wildlife-
in the trees. Bonus points if you have (nwf.org /nativeplantfinder). supporting powerhouses
kid-size headlamps! include oaks, willows, birches,
Minimize your lawn. and wild cherry trees.
Go in for a close-up. For the most Replace part of your grass
intimate bird viewing, opt for a feeder area with plants native to Consider a flowing water
that suctions right to your window. your location. Focus on feature. Birds, squirrels, and
“Window bird feeders are a really fun regional bushes, shrubs, and bugs all benefit from access
way to bring birds up close,” Tyrrell flowers: When your yard is to water during the summer.
says. Keep a list of the different birds more than just grass and a few Add gravel to your birdbath
that come to the feeder to make spotting trees, birds and caterpillars to give butterflies a shallow
new species more of a game. have places to hide and nest. place to drink.

Plant milkweed. Support monarch Spray yourself, not your Turn off outdoor lights at
butterflies by planting their host food. yard, against ticks and night. Light pollution is
You’re almost guaranteed to attract mosquitos. Forgo mosquito harmful to pollinators. If you
caterpillars, and if you watch the plant fogging in favor of bug spray need a few for safety, put
closely, you can see the chrysalis form spritzed on clothing and the them on a motion sensor and
and the adults emerge. more effective and less use yellow LED bulbs, which
expensive Mosquito Dunks. are less attractive to insects.
Start a bird club. Invite your child’s
friends to a park and print out pictures
of birds they’re likely to see, says
Chelsea Connor, a herpetologist and
cofounder of Black Birders Week.
“Highlight the things that stand out to
help identify them, and set a goal of
spotting five of them,” she says. You
don’t necessarily need binoculars: Many
park and backyard birds fly within view.

Seek nature media. If your kid is
going to be on a screen for some amount
of time anyway, use it to teach about
the natural world. For my son, Wild
Kratts on PBS Kids and Disneynature’s
fantastic documentaries such as
Wings of Life on Disney+ have been a
gateway to a deeper interest in IRL
nature. And, of course, there are books.
Connor loves Ruby’s Birds, which is
about a young Black girl introduced to
the magic of bird-watching by a
neighbor. Tallamy recommends the
picture book Grandma Lisa’s Humming,
Buzzing, Chirping Garden.

LI F EÑD i n n e r

Spring Is on the Table

If you’re cooking for Passover or Easter, this
plant-forward, make-ahead, and, yes, even kid-friendly

menu will rise to the occasion.

recipes by SA R A H WA LD M A N / photographs by J E N N I F E R CAU S E Y

Spring Salad

With Lemon-Dill

Dressing

For recipe, see
page 99.

9 4P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

Honey-Mustard
Sheet Pan

Salmon With
Asparagus

For recipe, see
page 99.

A Flexible Feast

This meal is designed to be
kosher for Passover and
to satisfy guests with a range
of diets, including pescatarian,
dairy-free, and gluten-free.
If you’re serving these dishes
as part of a Passover seder,
keep in mind that there may be
certain ingredients Ashkenazi
Jews refrain from eating during
the holiday (kitniyot). In this
case, you can make a few
easy swaps, like using kosher
imitation mustard in the
salmon recipe, sliced celery
or green onions instead of
peas in the potato dish, and
kosher confectioners’ sugar
on the meringues.

LI F EÑD i n n e r

M A K E I T A H E A D Shred and chop the veggies
and prepare the dressing, then toss and let sit at
room temperature for a few hours before serving.
(You can buy carrots preshredded—sold as
matchstick carrots—and shred or chop the
beets at least a day in advance.) This will keep,
fully dressed, in an airtight container in the
fridge for 1 day; because of the fresh herbs, it’s
best not to let it sit much longer.

Rainbow Slaw

Active Time 10 minutes
Total Time 10 minutes
Makes 4 servings

INGREDIENTS
21/2 cups matchstick carrots
11/2 cups cooked shredded beets

(about 8 oz.)
1/4 cup chopped red onion

(from 1 onion)
1/4 cup raisins
1/4 cup chopped flat-leaf parsley
2 Tbs. chopped mint leaves
2 Tbs. red wine vinegar
2 Tbs. olive oil
1 tsp. honey
1 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. black pepper

MAKE IT
1. Toss carrots, beets, onion,
raisins, parsley, and mint
to combine in a large bowl.

2. Whisk together vinegar, oil,
honey, salt, and pepper in a small
bowl. Add to slaw and toss to
combine.

NUTRITION PER SERVING
142 calories; 2g protein; 7g fat
(1g sat. fat); 20g carbs; 3g fiber;
14g sugar; 1mg iron; 38mg calcium;
657mg sodium

9 6P A R E N T S APRIL 2022

New Potatoes With
Peas and Eggs

Active Time 10 minutes
Total Time 10 Minutes
Makes 4 servings

INGREDIENTS
For the basil dressing

2 cups loosely packed
basil leaves

1/4 cup olive oil
2 garlic cloves
2 Tbs. red wine vinegar
1/2 tsp. kosher salt

For the salad
11/2 lbs. baby red potatoes, boiled,

halved, and kept warm
21/2 cups cooked sweet peas

2 Tbs. chopped chives
4 hard-cooked eggs, peeled

and halved

MAKE IT
1. Prepare the basil dressing:
Place all dressing ingredients
in a blender or food processor
and process until combined,
about 1 minute.

2. Prepare the salad: Combine
warm potatoes and peas in
a large bowl, and toss with
dressing. Top with chives and
eggs. Serve warm.

NUTRITION PER SERVING
405 calories; 15g protein; 20g fat
(4g sat. fat); 42g carbs; 8g fiber;
8g sugar; 4mg iron; 107mg calcium;
339mg sodium

M A K E I T A H E A D The eggs
can be boiled up to 2 days
in advance, and the peas
can be cooked the day
before. Refrigerate both in
separate airtight containers.
The dressing can also be
made up to 2 days ahead
and refrigerated in an airtight
container. Before serving,
let the dressing stand at
room temperature for at
least 1 hour. Boil the potatoes
and assemble the final dish
just before serving—you
want to dress and serve the
potatoes warm.

MAKE IT AHEAD The
meringues can be made
up to 2 days in advance.
Store the baked, cooled
meringues in plastic wrap
or in an airtight container
at room temperature. The
curd can be made 2 days in
advance and refrigerated
in an airtight container.
Assemble the desserts just
before you serve them.