Total Film 03.2022

SIDESHOW 15 ZEROS AND ONES 15 YOUNG PLATO TBC A BANQUET 15

★★★★★ OUT 11 MARCH CINEMAS ★★★★★ OUT 7 MARCH DIGITAL ★★★★★ OUT 11 MARCH CINEMAS ★★★★★ OUT 11 MARCH CINEMAS,

Les Dennis makes for an unlikely 4 APRIL DVD A documentary about Kevin DIGITAL
lead playing Stuart Pendrick, McArevey, the charismatic,
a disillusioned stage psychic The poster art’s ‘Olympus Has Elvis-loving principal of a North Ruth Paxton’s feature debut
whose home is invaded by two Fallen in Vatican City’ vibe Belfast boys’ primary school centres on a mother (Sienna
incompetent thieves in this couldn’t be more inappropriate; who seeks to change attitudes Guillory) and daughter (Jessica
largely crass comedy caper. no surprise given that Abel in his young pupils by teaching Alexander) coping with the
Though Dennis doesn’t quite Ferrara directs. The elusive philosophical principles. He trauma of a family suicide
convince as the curmudgeonly ‘plot’ involves soldier J.J. (Ethan encourages them to “ask deep while contending with a case
clairvoyant, adequate support – Hawke) on a mission in Rome, and meaningful questions” and of demonic possession. The
including Anthony Head as his trying to find his missing twin, “listen to different thinking”, term ‘elevated horror’ is a hotly
put-upon manager – picks up Justin (also Hawke). Themes as they grow up in a city still contested one, yet this feels
some of the slack, while writer/ of religious fundamentalism, reckoning with the violence like a prototypical example
director Adam Oldroyd juggles human trafficking and quarantine of its past. Repeat incidents - albeit one that struggles
fun character interplay with intermingle, but the film remains of playground bullying suggest to keep up with the superior
satisfying plot reveals along the as intentionally obscure as Sean Mr. McArevey has his work cut likes of The Babadook or Relic.
way. None of that, however, can Price Williams’ (Good Time) darkly out, but the boys’ response to It’s handsomely put together,
offset a script over-reliant on hazy cinematography. It can their misbehaviour clearly shows strikingly performed and offers
coarse punchlines and lowest- feel impenetrable, but a gaunt, his lessons are sinking in. It’s a nice line in slow-burning
common-denominator one-liners. haunted Hawke is magnetic, and slight, but quietly life-affirming. discomfort, yet A Banquet is a little
the deeply unsettling tone lingers. too over-familiar to ever attain
MATT LOOKER CHRIS SCHILLING true terror. LEILA LATIF
MATT MAYTUM

JULIA TBC Child with one of her more,
erm, colourful dishes.
Cookbook smart…

★★★★★ OUT 18 MARCH CINEMAS

Juicy poached pears drip sensuously and boeuf bourguignon
sizzles, in lush gastroporn sequences that rival an M&S advert.
This fond, authoritative documentary about US cookery icon
Julia Child gets you salivating for her fresh French food which
revolutionised dull American eating in the 1960s via Child’s famous
cookbooks and TV shows.

Unfurling her posh-girl-to-national-treasure story with lashings of
atmospheric archive footage and thoughtful interviewees, directors Julie
Cohen and Betsy West focus on Child’s groundbreaking popularity as
the only celebrity female chef in a forbidding, male-dominated culinary
culture. Watching Child wallop poultry and primp pastry on her longtime
PBS show, the film shows how her unabashed appetites and fearlessness
made home cooking enjoyable and accessible.

Like 2018’s RBG, the directors’ Oscar-nominated earlier doc, the film
also makes much of Child’s legendarily happy marriage, especially the
post-war Parisian idyll (familiar from Nora Ephron’s Julie & Julia) when
Child tried out her early cordon bleu lessons on husband Paul. It wriggles
a bit to find her feminism (Child famously thought women should “feed,
flatter and fuck” their men), but hymns the extraordinary energy that
fuelled her late-life AIDS activism. There’s no radical tweaks to the
documentary recipe here, but the directors serve up a classic version
with celebratory enthusiasm, á la Child. Bon appétit! KATE STABLES

THE VERDICT A tangy, classy, wide-ranging banquet of a
biography, that dishes stylishly on America’s culinary queen.

TOTALFILM.COM MARCH 2022 | TOTAL FILM | 101

“You see? I knew you
could survive two hours
in the New Forest.”

SEE THIS ALI & AVA15 warming and endearing as it is to DIRECTOR Clio Barnard STARRING Adeel ALTITUDE, AMAZON, STUDIO SOHO, SIGNATURE, COSMIC CAT
IF YOU see landlord Ali (Adeel Akhtar) fall Akhtar, Claire Rushbrook, Ellora Torchia,
LIKED Northern delights… for classroom assistant Ava (Claire Shaun Thomas SCREENPLAY Clio Barnard
Rushbrook) over the course of a DISTRIBUTOR Altitude RUNNING TIME
FEAR EATS THE ★★★★★ OUT 4 MARCH CINEMAS lunar month, we are never allowed to 94 mins
SOUL 1974 forget the entrenched opposition they
From Lilo & Stitch and Turner face from their respective families fan), the odds appear inexorably
A widow falls & Hooch to Robot & Frank and communities. These hurdles stacked against these tentative
for a Moroccan and Stan & Ollie, the movie are made all the more daunting by wannabe lovers. Ali can’t even give
world is awash with ampersand- Ava’s troubled past and the painful Ava a lift home without having his
migrant in ed couplings whose oddball breakdown of Ali’s marriage. motor pelted with stones by her
Rainer Werner relationships have captivated and council estate’s resident tearaways.
Fassbinder’s entertained generations of filmgoers. Ali’s woes are made evident early Barnard, though, is prepared to
To their number we can add Ali & on, his anguish at his separation from give the couple a fighting chance,
age-gap Ava, a social-realist romance about estranged wife Runa (Ellora Torchia) granting them moments of shared
love story. two lonely Bradfordians who make being heightened by the fact that he intimacy (an invigorating visit to the
a connection that transcends their has yet to tell his parents about all nearby countryside among them) that
LOVING 2016 different circumstances, cultures of it. Ava’s, though, take longer to fleetingly release them from their
Ruth Negga and and religions. be unpacked, encompassing as they many domestic headaches.
Joel Edgerton do a neighbour with bipolar disorder,
It’s a distinct change of pace for an abusive late partner who drank Her generosity extends to
fight for their director Clio Barnard, who here steps himself to death, and another child Rushbrook and Akhtar, a pair of
right to marry in away from the working-class grit (Shaun Thomas) who has seemingly gifted and intuitive actors who are
of her breakthrough documentary inherited his father’s noxious more often to be seen in supporting
Jeff Nichols’ The Arbor and the two dramas that far-right sympathies. rather than leading roles. Being given
period drama. followed it (2013’s The Selfish Giant the latter is no less than they deserve
and 2017’s Dark River). Yet as heart- When you add their contrasting in a film that feels both authentically
VICTORIA & musical tastes to the mix (former true to life and inspiringly hopeful of
ABDUL 2017 DJ Ali loves dancing on his car roof a better one. NEIL SMITH
Adeel Akhtar also to EDM, while Ava is more of a folk
appears in this THE VERDICT Opposites attract
period piece (and so does Bradford for that
about Queen matter) in this touching, warm
Victoria’s Indian and exceptionally well-acted
companion. portrait of an interracial courtship.

For more reviews
visit gamesradar.

com/totalfilm

PREDICTED INTEREST CURVE™

THRILLED Game of stones Boots by the bonfire

ENTERTAINED Cats and dogs Saying Manic Train of Up on
NODDING OFF Zorry Monday thought the roof

ZZZZZZZZZ Bollyrobics “Fucking Dirty stop-out Caught
Zorro!” in the act

RUNNING TIME START 15 30 45 60 75 FINISH

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LUCY AND DESI TBC “Honey, are you sure the
garden-party invites
Hymning the Ricardos…
specified it was today?”
★★★★★ OUT 4 MARCH PRIME VIDEO

It seems that everyone loves Lucy this season: following Aaron
Sorkin’s garlanded drama Being The Ricardos comes director Amy
Poehler’s smart and thoughtful doc on ’50s TV prime-timers
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz’s on-and-offscreen marriage.

Poehler’s view is more family-centred than Sorkin’s, making skilful
use of Technicolor kid-crammed home movies, archive footage and
newly discovered personal audio tapes to let Lucy and Desi tell their own
story. No The Capote Tapes-style revelations get dug up (it’s very much a
celebration, not an exposé), but Ball’s candid, husky-voiced memories of
her Goldwyn-Girl-to-TV-icon journey give it an intimate, insider’s feel.

A comedy ace and multihyphenate herself, Poehler’s bright, fast-
paced film lauds Ball as a consummate comedian who learned clowning
from Buster Keaton and became RKO’s ‘Queen of the B-movies’ thanks
to her sense of timing. She could also be cheerfully messy on screen.

The deep dive on Desi is full of surprises. A Cuban refugee and Bacardi
heir, he brought the conga to America. He also emerges as a TV innovator
who invented the three-camera sitcom, the actor-showrunner and the
re-run system. Meanwhile, the couple’s daughter Lucie Arnaz and Lucy’s
comic protegés Carol Burnett and Bette Midler are fascinating about Ball’s
warmth, but also her toughness: “When she ran Desilu Productions, that’s
when they put the ‘s’ on the end of her name…” KATE STABLES

THE VERDICT Amy Poehler’s sunny, archive-rich portrait of
America’s favourite sitcom couple will leave you as perky as Lucy
on ‘Vitameatavegamin’.

ONE OF THESE DAYS TBC THE LEDGE 15 TBC NOT GOING QUIETLY TBC ESCAPE FROM
MOGADISHU TBC
★★★★★ OUT 1 APRIL CINEMAS ★★★★★ OUT 14 MARCH DIGITAL ★★★★★ OUT 18 MARCH CINEMAS
★★★★★ OUT 25 MARCH CINEMAS
Bastian Günther’s satiric stab 21 MARCH DVD This powerful documentary
at the American Dream is set follows political activist Ady North and South Korea are
in a tiny Texas town, where 20 Climbing up sheer rock faces is Barkan who, after being reunited in this based-on-real-
hopefuls enter an endurance a hair-raising prospect in itself; diagnosed with degenerative events thriller, as diplomats from
contest. The task is to keep one throw in a bunch of murderous disease ALS, campaigned across both sides join forces to flee the
hand placed on the prize – a climbing bros and you’ve got the the US for healthcare reform Somali capital in the throes of civil
brand-new truck – at all times recipe for a true nightmare. Our while his own health rapidly war. There’s no denying writer/
until only one remains. Let go hero Kelly (Britanny Ashworth) declined. His subsequent ‘Be director Ryoo Seung-wan’s way
and you lose… Gangs Of London finds herself trapped on a A Hero’ project is explored at with a set-piece, whether it’s a
star Joe Cole plays burger chef small rocky ledge halfway up a national level in reaction to tense standoff with gun-toting
Kyle, who is desperate to be the a mountain, only 20 feet away Donald Trump’s presidency, rebels or a thrilling climactic bid
last man standing. However, from a group of men who have but it’s Barkan’s own story that to reach the Italian embassy. Yet
tragedy looms as greed quickly killed her best friend and are hits home. The film shows how, its odd comic flourishes and
swells among the competitors, planning the same grisly fate for despite the heartbreaking reality bombastic soundtrack set
though the film never entirely her. Howard J. Ford’s survival of his condition and his role entirely the wrong tone, while
capitalises on its engaging thriller is let down by some one- as husband and father, Barkan the depiction of the Somalis
opening premise, with somewhat note performances and a few focused on generously creating – caricatured either as venal
needless flashbacks hampering dodgy effects, but at its peak it a platform for others to tell authority figures or violent thugs
the otherwise effective drama. conjures an impressively visceral their own stories. – leaves an unpleasant aftertaste.
sense of terror.
JAMES MOTTRAM MATT LOOKER CHRIS SCHILLING
LEILA LATIF

TOTALFILM.COM MARCH 2022 | TOTAL FILM | 103

HERE BEFORE 15 The beatings had been bad, THE SPINE
but even that was better OF NIGHT TBC
★★★★★ OUT NOW CINEMAS than this viola session.
★★★★★ OUT 24 MARCH SHUDDER
A young family moves in next
door to grieving mum Laura Using rotoscope techniques to
(Andrea Riseborough), husband conjure a retro-fantasy vibe,
Brendan (Jonjo O’Neill) and son Philip Gelatt and Morgan Galen
Tadhg (Lewis McAskie). The King’s epic animation combines
neighbours’ daughter, Megan ultraviolence with soaring cosmic
(Niamh Dornan), seems spookily existentialism for an original
familiar… but truth can be story that transcends its clear
as slippery as grief, and two ’80s inspirations (of which Heavy
unsettling possibilities emerge: Metal is obviously one). Richard
either Megan is a reincarnation E. Grant, Lucy Lawless and Joe
of Laura’s lost child, or Laura’s Manganiello lend cast credibility to
losing her mind. In her feature this medieval swords-and-sorcery
debut, Northern Irish writer/ saga, about an all-powerful sacred
director Stacey Gregg keeps plant that corrupts mankind
things suitably understated, throughout the many ages of
relying on the most powerful the universe. But it’s the mind-
tool of all: the sorrow etched on bending concepts and imaginative
Riseborough’s face. frights that really leave an
indelible impression. MATT LOOKER
MATT GLASBY

SWEETIE, YOU
WON’T BELIEVE IT 15

You really won’t…

THE SANCTITY ★★★★★ OUT NOW BD, DIGITAL RŪRANGI 15 101 FILMS, WILDCARD, DOGWOOF, SHUDDER, PECCADILLO, DARTMOUTH FILMS, MUBI, BOHEMIA MEDIA, VERTIGO
OF SPACE TBC
If you’ve ever dreamt of seeing a Kazakh horror comedy that plays ★★★★★ OUT NOW CINEMAS,
★★★★★ OUT 4 MARCH CINEMAS something like the son of The Hangover and Deliverance after he’s
been fed through the woodchipper in Fargo, then Sweetie, You DIGITAL
The roots of this doc lie in a Won’t Believe It is for you.
photo taken in the 1930s by Trans man Caz (an effortlessly
scientific explorer and pioneer Our nominal hero is Dastan (Daniar Alshinov), going on a weekend moving Elz Carrad) returns to his
Brad Washburn. Inspired by break with two mates to escape the demands of his pregnant wife. rural home town after a decade
the snap, a trio of American Arman (Azamat Marklenov) loads the van with sex dolls, which is the away in Auckland, where he
climbers, including co-directors nearest virgin Muram (Yerlan Prynsetov) has ever got to a real woman. transitioned, to reconnect with
Renan Ozturk and Freddie Maybe they can hook their elusive masculinity during this rite-of- his estranged father. As in many
Wilkinson, embark on a daunting passage fishing trip? But they catch more than they bargained for, hometown-return dramas, old
challenge: an attempt to cross running into a band of clumsy gangsters, a creepy father-and-daughter wounds are reopened, skeletons
Alaska’s forbidding Moose’s act with kidnapping on their mind, and a one-eyed skinhead who’s are dug up and lost bonds are
Tooth traverse, in the shadow seeking revenge for the killing of his dog. Yes, there’s a splash of John reforged. Supporting Carrad is
of Mount Denali. Years in the Wick in here too, along with dollops of backwoods horror. a refreshingly gender-diverse
making, this ambitious film boasts and very talented cast who make
breathtaking aerial and high- Forgetting to make any of the characters particularly likeable as he a story that’s a little lean (and
altitude cinematography. Yet in its throws everything at the wall to see what sticks, director Yernar Nurgaliyev sometimes struggles with its
efforts to pay tribute to Washburn serves up a demolition derby of genres and tones that’s by turns thrilling higher emotions) feel more than
while charting the twists and turns and annoying. Chaos is the keyword, with moments to make viewers worthwhile. A low-key but hope-
of Ozturk and co.’s expedition, it recoil, cower and chuckle plenty. Think of the Three Stooges blundering dappled drama to add to New
loses narrative focus. TOM DAWSON onto Leatherface’s land and you’re in the right territory. JAMIE GRAHAM Zealand’s impressive film legacy.

THE VERDICT Concepts of masculinity get chopped to ERLINGUR EINARSSON
pieces in a deranged horror comedy. Strap in tight…

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THE TINDERBOX TBC RIVER TBC GREAT FREEDOM TBC REBEL DREAD TBC

★★★★★ OUT 25 MARCH CINEMAS ★★★★★ OUT 18 MARCH CINEMAS ★★★★★ OUT 4 MARCH CINEMAS ★★★★★ OUT 4 MARCH CINEMAS

British-American documentary Here’s a documentary that’ll A righteous howl of rage at DJ, musician and filmmaker Don
maker Gillian Mosely (who was flow over you like a comforting homophobic laws becomes much Letts recounts his fascinating
raised in a Zionist household) balm. Narrated by Willem Dafoe, more in Sebastian Meise’s slow life in William E. Badgley’s
travels around Israel exploring, who seems to be doing a light but rewarding drama. Franz spritely documentary. Present
via archival footage, the deep- Morgan Freeman impression, Rogowski (Undine) plays Hans, at the birth of punk, this Rasta-
rooted causes of the long-standing it’s a film that both in sound and a gay man repeatedly imprisoned loving, Brixton-raised Brit was
Arab-Israeli conflict and how image offers an utterly gorgeous in postwar Germany under the soon hobnobbing with the Sex
citizens’ lives have been shaped take on the significance rivers archaic Paragraph 175 ruling. Pistols and the Clash and built
by historical enmities. Among have had on the planet and how Blurring timeframes subtly, Meise key relationships with John
her diverse interviewees are a they’ve shaped civilisation and balances a piercing character study Lydon and Mick Jones, while
Christian Palestinian mother, a human history. While that might with artfully navigated riffs on also shooting influential music
rabbi settler and a Jewish heavy- not sound particularly interesting prison-flick stylings, then digs videos (including the one for
metal singer. The sentiments to some, Jennifer Peedom’s deeper to mount a philosophical the Clash’s ‘London Calling’).
expressed in this humane accomplished direction finds romance. As Great Freedom Though the film rambles a fair bit,
documentary are admirable, hidden depths in the subject evolves into a meditation on particularly once punk fades from
notably the need for meaningful matter, asking the audience freedoms historical and personal, the fore, Letts is a great raconteur
dialogue between both sides to fundamentally rethink its Rogowski’s mesmerising study – and a worthy figure on which
- yet any prospects for lasting relationship to the natural in vulnerability and resilience to hang this study of British
peace seem bleaker than ever. world around them. focuses its shifting layers ’70s and ’80s music culture.
beautifully. KEVIN HARLEY
TOM DAWSON LEILA LATIF JAMES MOTTRAM

“Thanks for the shoes, THE JUSTICE
darling. They’ll be perfect for OF BUNNY KING TBC
the intersection windscreen
The windscreens of change…
washers’ annual gala.”
★★★★★ OUT NOW DIGITAL

Armed with only a squeegee and a smile, Bunny (Essie Davis)
ekes a meagre living cleaning windscreens at intersections in
her native Auckland. Her dream is to be reunited with the two
children – doting Shannon (Amelie Barnes) and her brother Reuben
(Angus Stevens) – she’s lost to the system. With no home, cash or
prospects, though, she continually finds herself at odds with testy
relatives, apathetic estate agents and government family services.

At first glance, Gaysorn Thavat’s feature debut looks like another
Loach-esque kitchen-sinker about a life ground down by bureaucracy.
Yet Davis is too mercurial a performer to conform to that stereotype.
Bunny uses her guile, charisma and flagrant deception to turn things
around, however fleetingly, for both herself and a troubled niece (Last
Night In Soho’s Thomasin McKenzie) with her own family problems to
deal with and run away from.

Both a winning character study and a reproving critique of New
Zealand’s escalating housing crisis, The Justice Of Bunny King is propelled
for the most part on its protagonist’s gritty charm. It’s a pity, then, that
screenwriter Sophie Henderson felt the need to shoehorn Bunny into a
ho-hum hostage scenario in the last third, sacrificing in credibility what
might have been gained in tension-building incident. NEIL SMITH

THE VERDICT Essie Davis excels in an affecting social drama
that only falters when it abruptly changes genres.

TOTALFILM.COM MARCH 2022 | TOTAL FILM | 105

KIMI 15 “No, I’ve never seen
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The
Data with destiny… World. Why do you ask?”

★★★★★ OUT NOW SKY CINEMA, NOW, DIGITAL

Steven Soderbergh’s latest follows in the recent vein of Unsane
(2018) and No Sudden Move (2021), both low-budget thrillers
that see the Ocean’s director conjure an impressively taut,
back-to-basics vibe. Same goes for Kimi, his first collaboration with
screenwriter David Koepp (Jurassic Park, Spider-Man et al), which deals
with advanced tech in the post-MeToo era while nodding to classic
films like Blow Up, Blow Out and The Conversation.

Zoë Kravitz plays Angela, a former Facebook moderator with an
anguished past who now works for the Amygdala Corp, analysing data
streams for Kimi, an Alexa-style device that controls everything from
lights to music in your home and office space. When Angela hears what
sounds like a sexual assault, a “pre-meditated murder” ‘overheard’ by
the all-knowing Kimi, she reports it to her boss (Rita Wilson), only to
get stonewalled.

With her blue hair and orange hoodie, Angela is a fearsome feminist
hero, like a latter-day Lisbeth Salander, albeit with fewer dragon tattoos.
Certainly, by the final act, when action supplants intrigue, she comes
into her own, nail gun in hand and making the best use of Beastie Boys’
‘Sabotage’ since Star Trek Beyond. Beneath the compelling chaos - nicely
captured by Sodebergh’s woozy camerawork – is a thoughtful essay on
privacy, intrusion, toxic masculinity and victimhood. For a 90-minute
movie, it packs a lot in. JAMES MOTTRAM

THE VERDICT Stylish visuals matched with a provocative script
and an ace lead equals a fascinating ride to the near future.

“No Gal, I don’t think Ken DEATH ON THE NILE 12A
will do a promo with us
The Uncanny Valley of the Kings…
all doing a song together.”
★★★★★ OUT NOW CINEMAS
WARNER BROS, DISNEY, ENTERTAINMENT, LIGHTBULB, PARAMOUNT
Delayed by Covid and cast controversy, Kenneth Branagh’s
traditionalist whodunnit finally sails into cinemas. But you
have to wonder why it didn’t dock on a streaming service
earlier, where small-screen expectations might have been more
forgiving of shonky CGI and scenery mastication.

But we digress, mon amie… following Murder On The Orient Express
(2017), Branagh’s ’tached tec Hercule Poirot finds himself at the heart
of another crime of passion, this time when one of the guests on an
Egyptian paddle steamer is offed while asleep.

Everyone on board’s a suspect (though not, curiously, the numerous
staff), having gathered to celebrate the wedding of heiress Linnet (Gal
Gadot) and Armie Hammer’s Simon. Is the killer Linnet’s ex (Russell
Brand)? Or maybe her godmother (Jennifer Saunders), or the latter’s
jealous nurse (Dawn French)? Could it be the maid (Rose Leslie), the jazz
duo (Sophie Okonedo, Letitia Wright), or the ex-friend (Emma Mackey)?

Filmed aboard a built-to-scale boat on Longcross Studios’ water
tank, it’s a handsome movie obsessed with costume detail, jewellery and
furnishings, but less worried about grounding events in any sort of reality.
Still, there’s something comfortingly old-school about a company of stars
leaning into melodrama as Branagh lays on the accent. So while it doesn’t
up the ante on Christie adaps, it’s as easily consumed (and forgotten) as
one of the tiny cakes Poirot scoffs throughout. JANE CROWTHER

THE VERDICT A glossy, undemanding confection that doesn’t
make waves, but shouldn’t be given a wide berth either.

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DOG 12A JACKASS FOREVER 18

★★★★★ OUT NOW CINEMAS ★★★★★ OUT NOW CINEMAS

Earnest, macho, cutesy: Channing This was it. The search was The first Jackass since 2010’s 3D
Tatum’s comeback movie is over. This was the IKEA outing sees the guys (including
practically trained to disarm his stalwart director Jeff Tremaine)
fanbase. In his co-directorial armchair Michael wanted. return significantly older but
(with Reid Carolin) debut, Tatum’s none the wiser. Newbies such
traumatised Army Ranger Briggs as Jasper Dolphin and Rachel
drives a bitey dog cross-country Wolfson acquit themselves well,
to its handler’s funeral. But who’s but unfortunately, the laughs are
helping who here? Guess. Faintly less raucous and spontaneous
bland and entirely predictable, Dog than before. Aside from Johnny
is tonally shaggy in its awkward Knoxville being cannon-fired
comedy swerves yet diligently on feathered wings á la Icarus,
on-mission otherwise. A cosy there’s a dearth of crazed,
crossbreed of canine caper, odd- surreal setups here. Instead
couple road movie and veteran- we get extra servings of bodily
themed issues drama emerges, fluids - plus an array of sketches
wrapped in a solidly played Tatum using pissed-off animals (bears,
vehicle – with shirt-off scenes bees, vultures) that make for
delivered to order, obviously. morally discomforting viewing.

KEVIN HARLEY JAMIE GRAHAM

THE GODFATHER PART II 15

Game of Corleones…

SLUMBER PARTY 1974 ★★★★★ OUT 4 MARCH CINEMAS CATWOMAN: HUNTED 15
MASSACRE 18
Violent death and innocence come closely linked in Francis Ford ★★★★★ OUT NOW DVD, BD,
★★★★★ OUT NOW DVD, DIGITAL Coppola’s magisterial sequel to his 1972 Mafia epic. Young
Vito Corleone witnesses his family slaughtered, an older Vito DIGITAL
EXTRAS ★★★★★ Commentary, embraces his kid after slaughtering adversaries, Michael’s son’s First
Communion ends in gunfire… If an expansive sadness elevates Part EXTRAS ★★★★★ Documentary,
Featurette, Alt ending, Gallery II, it resides in this sense of innocence – or any kind of pure motive -
scarred in the fallout from power’s pursuit. Featurette
Director Danishka Esterhazy
and writer Suzanne Keilly’s If subsequent years have instilled sequel fatigue and prequel With its anime styling and jazz-
expectation-defying remake of frustration in viewers, Coppola’s tragedy shows how deep and broad infused score, there’s a distinct
the slyly subversive 1982 slasher both can go. Deftly, he navigates two timelines, Vito’s (Robert De Niro) whiff of the classic Lupin III
classic takes a more overtly ascendancy in 1901 New York and his son Michael’s (Al Pacino) late-’50s cartoons to the heist and car chase
feminist approach, using the empire-building. We see how earlier generations’ actions haunt the that kicks off this feature outing
familiar setup of a group of family psyche, like a body’s imprint left on a leather seat. for DC’s feline femme fatale. If the
teenage girls menaced by a drill- film subsequently devolves into
wielding psycho to deconstruct The sweep of the narrative, the dark-lake browns of Gordon Willis’ a series of increasingly overblown
genre tropes and flip the gaze to cinematography, the killer support cast and the sumptuous melancholy scraps, the quip-heavy script and
hilarious and surprising effect. of Nino Rota’s score all intoxicate. But look closer and a scalding sparky interplay between Elizabeth
Working as both a reinvention and meditation on the cost of corrupting power emerges, granted piercing Gillies’ Catwoman and Stephanie
celebration of the slasher genre focus in the tension between De Niro’s wary ambition and Pacino’s soul- Beatriz’s Batwoman keep it fresh
(the laughs are mixed with plenty sunken eyes. With such riches in mind, go gently on Part III, also re- and fun. Not purr-fect then,
of grisly kills), this is one slumber issued (on 11 March) in its superior 2020 edit (see TF306). Like Michael but way more entertaining than
party horror fans won’t want to under Vito’s upbringing, it hardly stood a chance. KEVIN HARLEY Catwoman’s previous (live-action)
sleep through. ANTON VAN BEEK solo feature. Includes Cat-history
THE VERDICT Coppola’s magnum opus, still the benchmark documentary. ANTON VAN BEEK
for sequels transcending the original, and still a searing
meditation on violence, loss and power.

TOTALFILM.COM MARCH 2022 | TOTAL FILM | 107

BOAT PEOPLE TBC Boat People puts the
tribulations of 1980s’
Vietnam raw… Vietnam into sharp focus.

1982 ★★★★★ OUT 21 MARCH BD

EXTRAS ★★★★★ Documentaries, Featurettes, Essays

Set three years on from the fall of Saigon, this searing drama by
Hong Kong filmmaker Ann Hui examines why hundreds of
thousands of Vietnamese refugees fled their homeland after Ho
Chi Minh’s Communist takeover. It’s seen through the eyes of a
Japanese photojournalist (George Lam) who is invited to chronicle
Vietnam’s rebirth, only for his lens to poke beyond the boundaries of
the carefully curated New Economic Zone that accommodates his
guided tour. What he discovers is a country in the throes of starvation
and police brutality, where dissidents face execution squads.

Given a 4K digital transfer by Criterion, Hui’s film, the third in her
extraordinary Vietnam trilogy, is bolstered by quality bonus material.
Two lengthy documentaries, 1997’s As Time Goes By and 2020’s Keep
Rolling, dig deep into Hui’s life and career, while a newly filmed
discussion between Hui and her assistant director Stanley Kwan covers
Boat People’s trials and tribulations: postponing the shoot for a year to
sort the script; Hong Kong superstar Chow Yun-fat turning the film
down for fear of being blacklisted; and having just four takes to shoot a
liberation parade involving six tanks, 400 soldiers and a 600-strong
crowd. Also included is the 1983 Cannes press conference, of real interest
given the festival withdrew the film’s competition slot under pressure
from the Vietnamese government. JAMIE GRAHAM

THE VERDICT A humanist work punctuated by harrowing
images. Misunderstood by many on release, it’s a masterpiece.

ARMOUR OF GOD 15 MODERN TIMES TBC THE FAN 15 THE MCPHERSON SONY/CRITERION, 88 FILMS, SIGNAL ONE, 101 FILMS, ARROW, BFI, BULLDOG
TAPE 15
1986 ★★★★★ OUT NOW BD 1936 ★★★★★OUT 14 MARCH BD 1996 ★★★★★ OUT NOW BD
1989 ★★★★★ OUT NOW BD
EXTRAS ★★★★★ Alt cut, Alt EXTRAS ★★★★★ Commentary, EXTRAS ★★★★★ Gallery
EXTRAS ★★★★★ Director’s cut,
soundtracks, Commentaries, Documentary, Video essays, Deleted If you’re going to do a riff on The
King Of Comedy then who better Commentary, Featurettes
Featurettes, Music video, Outtakes scenes, Shorts, Booklet to star in it than Robert De Niro?
That was presumably what the An unsung pioneer of the found-
Best remembered as the film that Charlie Chaplin’s last outing as much-missed Tony Scott thought footage genre, this no-budget
almost killed Jackie Chan (when the Little Tramp sees him navigate when making this flashy thriller curio (written, directed, produced
a simple stunt – for him – went factory machinery, poverty and about a troubled baseball fan (De and shot by Dean Alioto) was
wrong), this uneven Indiana Jones- unrest during the Depression. Niro) whose fervent obsession denied a legit release in ’89
inspired action-comedy casts Flustered but never floored, with his favourite player (Wesley thanks to a distribution-company
him as a former pop star turned he falls for a homeless woman Snipes) takes a sinister and warehouse fire. After a title card
treasure hunter blackmailed into (Paulette Goddard) and finds murderous turn. While it’s proclaiming, Blair Witch Project-
hunting for a mythical set of sublime physical comedy in his certainly far from the director’s style, that what follows is true,
armour. While the film has its battles: getting caught up in the best, The Fan is a more-than- we see the Van Heese family
problems, the same can’t be said cogs of industry, roller-skating serviceable slice of genre fare celebrating a birthday party while
for this comprehensive Blu-ray blindfolded and accidentally enlivened by solid performances nerdy Michael (Alioto) records
release, which not only boasts two ingesting cocaine. Made nine years from its two central leads as well everything on his video camera.
cuts of the film, but serves up a after the advent of talkies, Modern as Scott’s typically stylish and Of course, he keeps filming when
whopping nine soundtrack options Times is largely silent but features kinetic direction. aliens decide to attack, and what
for one of them – and that’s not strategic employment of sound, follows is in equal parts irritating
including the three commentaries! including the Tramp bursting into ANTON VAN BEEK and intense. MATT GLASBY
song. JAMIE GRAHAM
ANTON VAN BEEK

108 | TOTAL FILM | MARCH 2022 SUBSCRIBE AT WWW.TOTALFILM.COM/SUBS

PALE FLOWER TBC NIGHTMARE ALLEY PG THE PROPOSITION 18 MARY SHELLEY’S
FRANKENSTEIN 15
1964 ★★★★★ OUT 14 MARCH BD 1947 ★★★★★ OUT NOW 2005 ★★★★★ OUT 28 MARCH BD
1994 ★★★★★ OUT 28 MARCH
EXTRAS ★★★★★ Selected-scene DUAL FORMAT EXTRAS ★★★★★ Commentaries, Book,
BD, 4K UHD
commentary, Featurette, Essay EXTRAS ★★★★★ Commentaries, Making of, Featurettes, Gallery, Poster
EXTRAS ★★★★★ Commentary, Silent
A key work of the Japanese New Documentary, Gallery The heat is on for Guy Pearce in
Wave, Masahiro Shinoda’s cool, John Hillcoat’s bleak and bloody film, Documentary, Featurettes, Booklet
stylish gangster movie sees More than two years later than Aussie western, which sees
yakuza hitman Muraki (Ryo Ikebe) originally scheduled, Edmund his captured outlaw having to Never knowingly understated,
plug back into his old life after Goulding’s sardonic and fatalistic track down one of his criminal Kenneth Branagh brings gothic
being released from prison. He noir masterpiece hit Blu-ray just siblings (Danny Huston) if he’s style, a highly dramatic (and
haunts the gambling dens and as the remake arrived in UK to save the other from lawman impressively realised) Arctic-set
is bewitched by Saeko (Mariko cinemas. The wait was definitely Ray Winstone’s gallows. Fordian bookending, impassioned turns
Kaga), a mysterious woman who worth it, however, with the disc’s in scale and Peckinpah-esque from a prestige cast and plenty of
might offer redemption… or a fast immaculate remaster making the in bullet-blasted body count, ham to this impeccably costumed
track to hell. Elegantly framed most of Lee Garmes’ striking it’s an Outback throwback that tragedy of love, loss and hubris.
(Shinoda worked as an assistant black-and-white cinematography. writer Nick Cave suffuses with a Some of the more theatrical
to Yasujiro Ozu), simultaneously Meanwhile, film historians poetic and mordantly humorous touches by Branagh may be
detached and oozing attitude, Pale Michael Brooke and Johnny Mains sensibility. Two commentaries, a showing their age, but Robert De
Flower was surely an influence on explore the differences between posse of featurettes and an 80- Niro’s masterful monster remains
Jean-Pierre Melville’s neo-noir the film and the original novel, page booklet make this two-discer untouched by time in this 4K
classic Le Samouraï. plus myriad other production an enticing proposition in itself. release, which also includes the
details, in an exclusive first-ever Shelley screen adap,
JAMIE GRAHAM commentary. ANTON VAN BEEK NEIL SMITH from 1910. ERLINGUR EINARSSON

THE FILMS OF Nana Visitor and James
PATRICK WANG TBC Marsters roll up in A Bread

Local hero… Factory (part two).

2011-18 ★★★★★ OUT NOW CINEMAS 7 MARCH DIGITAL

Idon’t have a big voice,” says a teenager delivering a reading in
Patrick Wang’s A Bread Factory. “The voice you have will be fine,”
says his mentor. Wang’s voice resonates firmly across his films:
released here after much critical buzz, the New York multihyphenate’s
output is – in its quiet, off-radar way – captivatingly self-possessed.

Wang himself fronts In The Family (2011), playing a gay dad battling
for his son’s custody. Though this struggle stirs emotions, Wang
eschews fireworks for compassionate character studies, grounded in
acute performances – while Wang’s measured lead compels, child actor
Sebastian Banes excels under sensitive direction. The Grief Of Others (2015)
is another focused small-town family portrait, anatomising loss’s
rippling fallout. Messy emotions gain clarity amid pristine compositions;
the patient pacing, meanwhile, re-enacts everyday life’s pace.

A Bread Factory (2018) focuses its two-part, four-hour sprawl on a
community arts centre. Get past the starchy-sounding set-up and
something like Schitt’s Creek remixed by John Sayles or Wes Anderson
emerges. Even as the narrative frays, Wang’s clear-eyed celebration of
localised art offers a thoughtful, keen declaration of intent. Alive with
nuanced human complexity, Wang’s meticulously navigated locales offer
rich rewards to lingering visitors. KEVIN HARLEY

THE VERDICT Tackling charged material with warm, watchful
control, Wang is an old-school indie auteur to celebrate.

TOTALFILM.COM MARCH 2022 | TOTAL FILM | 109

EXTRAS

VARIOUS

TURNING RED MERCHANDISE

OUT TBC MARCH

Alas, thanks to a review embargo we can’t tell
you what the film’s like… but we can show you
the merch. And as you’d expect from a Disney/
Pixar production, there’s plenty on offer - from
panda-hooded dressing gowns to figurines to
food bowls, Mei Lee’s giant red alter ego is all
over the shopdisney.co.uk. As the tie-dye t-shirt
puts it, ‘Too Cute’.

110 | TOTAL FILM | MARCH 2022 COLLECTIBLES

THE BATMAN FUNKOS

OUT NOW

The Bat is back, bringing law, order and Pop! vinyl coolness to your
mantelpiece. One of the Pat-man variants is tagged ‘Battle-Ready’,
though he looks pretty up for a ruck in all cases, tbh; can’t see him
stopping at too many red lights in his open-top Batmobile. Look
out, meanwhile, for ‘chase’ variants of Selina Kyle and Oswald
Cobblepot, the former without her mask, the latter flaunting his
braces á la Del Boy. Find what suits at funkoeurope.com.

SUBSCRIBE AT WWW.TOTALFILM.COM/SUBS

APPAREL COLLECTIBLES

THE BATMAN CLOTHING LEGO STAR WARS HELMETS

OUT NOW OUT NOW

What to wear to that first viewing of The Batman? Whatever side you’re on, whatever era it is, however smart or
Our tip: swagger to your pre-booked seat in an ‘I’m scuffed, Star Wars gives good helmet. Ahem. Lego has added
Vengeance’ hoodie or ‘I Am The Shadows’ jacket three new designs to its build-a-bonce collection: Luke’s
(both with appliqued Bat-logos) before unzipping to X-wing pilot headgear (with heroic translucent red visor),
reveal a magnificently moody t-shirt (the ‘Acid Dark Trooper helmet (with hellish translucent red eyes)
Rain’ design is especially fetching). And since big and The Mandalorian’s face-hider, made from the shiniest
pointy ears may leave your fellow viewers feeling substitute beskar available. Display stands included (possibly
vengeful themselves, consider instead a Bat-cap if as a reminder not to cram a load of pointy plastic on your
the cinema A/C has gone a bit Mr. Freeze. Check out noggin). Head to lego.com.
merchoid.com.
ACCESSORY
TOTALFILM.COM
MONSTERS, INC. LAUGH TANK

OUT NOW

Straight outta Monstropolis, via bag specialist
Danielle Nicole, comes this cylinder crossbody
design, measuring 4.5in x 9in x 4.5in. That’s
room for a lorra lorra laughs, as Cilla Black might
say. It’s got a die-cut ‘Life’s A Scream’ charm
(attached by ball chain), adjustable shoulder strap,
interior slip pocket and – if you look closely – Boo
has vandalised, sorry, customised it with some
cheeky graffiti. Get your eye on merchoid.com.

MATTHEW LEYLAND

MARCH 2022 | TOTAL FILM | 111

The sounds of Beauty
and the beasts.

“They did what BELLE
to Marco’s score?!”
★★★★★
CLASSIC SOUNDTRACK
The lush online vision of
SCREAM Mamoru Hosoda’s anime
comes with an expansive
MARCO BELTRAMI VARÈSE SARABANDE suggests care taken to honour character and feeling, sweep of music to match.
too, a quality Beltrami would sustain judiciously. Available in English and
Even with slasher movies, it can sometimes Japanese versions, Belle
pay not to know the rules. Consider Marco Elsewhere, working on a lean budget, Beltrami pinballs giddily between
Beltrami, a Jerry Goldsmith mentee and deploys era-specific alt-rock stylings - chugging pop bangers, jazzy trifles,
novice movie composer when he scored Wes guitars, noise effects – resourcefully. ‘Sidney
Craven’s Scream. Favourite scary movie? Beltrami Wants It’ could be a Garbage instrumental, almost symphonic eruptions,
didn’t watch scary movies, let alone like them. positioning Scream’s music as a darker, distant digi-techno ructions and
He arrived at Scream unencumbered by slasher relative to another tentpole mid-’90s alt-rock tender song. Though faintly
lore, free to reinvigorate the rules for new veins soundtrack, Romeo + Juliet. The cues for Sid and disjointed as a standalone
of “movie murder hoopla”. Dewey add vocals (courtesy of Beltrami’s friend listen, its riches build to
Rose Thomson) and spaghetti-western stylings to a suitably epic, stadium-
Though his score reconfigured its era’s horror establish emotional, character-driven currencies. balladeering climax: ‘A
music, you wouldn’t know it from the score’s initial Million Miles Away’ jerks the
release. The 1996 soundtrack album featured 3.28 Pitched smartly between driven consonance required rivers of tears.
measly minutes of Beltrami’s work, alongside song and panic-mode dissonance, the electro-orchestral
selections of variable quality – though Nick Cave And result is a score thick with twists and red herrings, SING 2
The Bad Seeds’ insidious ‘Red Right Hand’ rocks. low-end dread and high-end horrors: like opened
In 1998, a Scream/Scream 2 album filleted Beltrami’s intestines, it oozes fresh, inventive variants on ★★★★★
combined movie scores to 30-ish minutes. genre meat.
Annoying excision of
Varèse Sarabande later released expanded Across Screams 2-4, Beltrami added Morricone- Mercury Rev’s ‘Holes’ aside,
versions, now included in a new, six-CD boxset of esque developments for Dewey and more expansive Sing 2’s soundtrack releases
Scream 1-4 scores and tasty off-cuts. The results orchestrations; Scream 3 takes up two CDs in the scrub up amiably enough.
showcase how tightly Beltrami collaborated with boxset. Bumps along the way included the Hans
Craven, producing rich yet attentively developed Zimmer track (not included in the boxset) used Joby Talbot composes
scores over four films. onscreen in Scream 2 instead of Beltrami’s Dewey a frisky score, while U2’s
cue. Also in 2, two Danny Elfman cues stick out like ‘Your Song Saved My Life’
Described by Beltrami as “over-the-top, almost severed thumbs. But Beltrami’s music rules, securing opens the various artists’
operatic”, Scream’s ‘The Cue From Hell’ sets the his place as a supremely adaptable composer skilled album gracefully. And if
agenda over 10 minutes of sustained suspense notes, in suspense, scares and sensitivity. Whether he likes ‘Tippy Toes’ and a Coldplay
depth-charge shudders, percussive assaults and horror or not, horror sure likes him. KEVIN HARLEY cover run surplus to any
precarious pianos, all rising through mock-shock reasonable requirements,
fake-outs to a killer crescendo. An epic epilogue at least the Prince tribute
and Scarlett Johansson’s
U2/Yeah Yeah Yeahs covers
earn some small reprieve.

MIRAMAX, MILAN RECORDS, REPUBLIC

112 | TOTAL FILM | MARCH 2022 SUBSCRIBE AT WWW.TOTALFILM.COM/SUBS

There are one or two factual 2
inaccuracies in Stay Human’s
MORE
depiction of cricket…
Recent thumb-twiddlers...

GAMES UNCHARTED:
LEGACY OF THIEVES
DYING LIGHT 2 STAY HUMAN
COLLECTION
Post-apocalyptic sequel delivers parkour perfection…
★★★★★
★★★★★ OUT NOW PC, PS4/5, XBOX ONE/SERIES, NINTENDO SWITCH
OUT NOW PS5
TECHLAND, SONY INTERACTIVE ENTERTAINMENT, ICEBERG INTERACTIVE The run-up to Dying Light 2’s release has biomarker that shows your level of infection. Featuring remastered
been dominated by boasts about its Yet it soon turns out there are benefits to being versions of two already
sheer size – from developer Techland’s part-zombie: the infection affords you a range of handsomely mounted
statement that it would take 500 hours to achieve superhuman abilities that feed into the game’s adventures – A Thief’s
full completion to comparisons between its thrilling parkour-based movement, allowing you to End and Lost Legacy –
350,000-word script and Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. negotiate the city more efficiently. this duology applies a next-
gen sheen to some of the
No two ways about it: Stay Human is a huge game This fluidity and freedom enlivens familiar open- finest action set-pieces
– although that daunting runtime is actually a much world staples, whether you’re locating rooftop groves of the previous console
more manageable 30 hours if you simply want to see for medicinal ingredients, searching labs for boosts generation. Whether you’re
the story through to its conclusion. And for all the to your health, stamina and immunity or climbing new to Uncharted, or the
sprawling scope of its post-apocalyptic world, it’s tall buildings to unlock safe zones at which you can film has left you itching for
a game defined by moment-to-moment decision- rest and respawn. It flows more directly into combat, a replay, this is borderline
making. One minute you’re working out the most too – letting you vault one stunned opponent to
efficient route to the next safe zone as night falls launch a flying kick at another. essential.
and you suddenly find a horde of ravenous zombies
snarling at your heels, the next you’re making a Stay Human smartly builds on the foundations of STRANGE
choice against the clock that could have a dramatic its predecessor by giving you more reason to venture HORTICULTURE
effect on both the city itself and the way you out beyond sundown, the need to stave off infection
negotiate it. and seek out zombie-neutralising UV light lending a ★★★★★
nerve-shredding tension to night-time excursions.
You’re cast as Aiden, a blank-slate hero who And the far-reaching consequences of the choices OUT NOW PC
arrives in the city of Villedor looking for sister Mia, you make and the faction you align with give the This fascinating game
from whom he’s been separated since childhood. story a dynamism that’s rare among its sandbox puts you in the shoes of a
Your first job, however, is to deal with the infection peers. While odd inconsistencies in the quality of its plant-shop owner, tasking
that’s taking over your body. While inhibitors script, performances and mission design prove that you with locating and
prevent you from turning feral, most of the city size isn’t everything, Techland’s sequel has plenty identifying rare flora for
isn’t open to you until you obtain a wrist-bound else to brag about. CHRIS SCHILLING your customers, whether
you’re recommending
TOTALFILM.COM something for a special
occasion or to ease an
ailment. Combining botany
and detective work, it’s a
compelling tale that fully
leans into its weirdness.

MARCH 2022 | TOTAL FILM | 113

3

MORE

Writers, replicants,
Robin’s bestie…

BEYOND THE BOOKS
HERO’S JOURNEY
BLOOD, SWEAT & CHROME:
★★★★★ THE WILD AND TRUE STORY
OF MAD MAX: FURY ROAD
While John Yorke’s Into
The Woods remains the ★★★★★ KYLE BUCHANAN WILLIAM MORROW
writer’s bible for narrative
Sometimes, small things can stall bulldozers. Fascinating nuggets include early casting gambits
structure, Anthony In the case of Mad Max: Fury Road, production (Eminem?) and unexpected auditionees (Rihanna?).
Mullins complements it faced huge setbacks, from storms, tumbling The storm that left flowers in a supposed-to-be-
‘polecats’ and raging studio execs to garlic snails, barren location also receives due attention, with the
with this accessible, grains of dust and even unexpected flowerbeds. build-up to production meticulously plotted.
incisive exploration of
character arcs. Dozens of Kyle Buchanan marshals these details into thrilling Throughout the mega-stunts, spats and polecat
shape in his oral history, rocketing through George panics, Miller emerges as the kind of guy you’d want in
case studies (The Miller’s four-decade journey to Fury like a jacked-up charge of a crisis, a leader so attentive to details and his
Godfather, Sweet Gigahorse. Not just entertaining, the result is also collaborators that his film’s against-all-odds success
Country et al) and no lack fastidiously factual and cognisant of on-set issues, leaves you punching the air. The fact he pulled off a
of handy diagrams. which ranged from broken legs to Charlize Theron once-in-a-generation miracle here doesn’t make us
demanding protection from her tardy, tired co-lead. any less excited for Furiosa. KEVIN HARLEY
BLADE RUNNER
ORIGINS VOL.2 FROM HOLLYWOOD THE MAN WHO THE ART OF STAR
WITH LOVE INVENTED MOTION WARS: THE
★★★★★ PICTURES MANDALORIAN S2
★★★★★
Full of philosophising ★★★★★ ★★★★★
and trenchcoats-in-the- SCOTT MESLOW | DEY STREET
PAUL FISCHER | FABER & FABER PHIL SZOSTAK, DOUG CHIANG | ABRAMS
rain action, the This romcom chronicle,
comic-book prequel subtitled The Rise And Fall Did Thomas Edison have “Design for the WILLIAM MORROW, DEY STREET, ABRAMS, CREATIVE ESSENTIALS, DK, TITAN, FABER
continues with ’tec Cal (And Rise Again) Of The the man who made the silhouette,” says
Moreaux probing a Tyrell Romantic Comedy, charts first motion-picture the intro to Abrams’
Corporation conspiracy. a path from 1989’s When Harry camera murdered so coffee-table beauty.
Met Sally to the more recent Crazy he could pass off the invention With iconic wallop as the aim,
A bit convoluted Rich Asians and beyond. Author as his own? That’s one of many production art for Din Djarin’s
perhaps, but when has Meslow picks 16 of the genre’s tantalising theories Fischer dissects second run taps classic ideas for
Blade Runner ever gone defining examples, spotlighting in this study of cinema’s formative “familiar yet unique” returns.
easy on its audience? key figures like Meg Ryan and days and the little-known Louis Omar Sharif, Kurosawa, Errol
Hugh Grant as he goes. Unafraid Le Prince’s undervalued role in its Flynn-era pirates and westerns
BATMAN: THE to pull its punches (Love Actually evolution. Probing a still-unsolved are referenced as we jump from
ULTIMATE GUIDE comes in for a bit of a drubbing), mystery at the heart of the world’s krayt dragons to Cobb Vanth,
it’s a lively jaunt through genre most popular art form, the result nomad Boba to Bo-Katan. Star
★★★★★ history, packed with trivia and both absorbing, forensic and jaw- Wars lore is nurtured lovingly here.
infectious zest. JOEL HARLEY dropping. NEIL SMITH
An eminently skimmable KEVIN HARLEY
guide to the Dark Knight,
SUBSCRIBE AT WWW.TOTALFILM.COM/SUBS
covering everything
from baddies to Batman’s

love life. An ideal intro
point for younger

readers, but established
fans can find greater
depth – and more

impressive coffee-table
grandeur – elsewhere.

114 | TOTAL FILM | MARCH 2022

CINEMA CELEBRATED AND DEBATED. BOOSTING YOUR MOVIE GENIUS TO SUPERHERO LE …

IS IT BOLLOCKS? ALTERNATIVE
BOX OFFICE
Film Buff investigates the facts behind outlandish movie plots.
The biggest movies…

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal

TRHETSHISUERMMROAETNCRTTIIHXONS 01 SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME (2019) ................................ $1.13BN SONY, DISNEY, ALAMY, WARNER BROS
02 THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW (2004)..................................... $553M
Q is the level of realistic simulation seen in The Matrix 03 PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME (2010) ...............$336M
Resurrections something gamers will be able to purchase 04 EVEREST (2015) ...............................................................................$203M
05 CITY SLICKERS (1991).....................................................................$179M
any time soon? Or simulated silliness? 06 BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (2005)........................................................ $178M
07 SOURCE CODE (2011)......................................................................$147M
A Ben Tyrer, News Editor, GamesRadar 08 PRISONERS (2013)...........................................................................$122M
09 LOVE & OTHER DRUGS (2010).....................................................$103M
Neo’s modal may be a little more realistic than you might be 10 LIFE (2017) .......................................................................................... $101M
expecting. In terms of games with graphics so lifelike that they appear
indistinguishable from reality, the modal actually isn’t too far from where ON LOCATION REEL SPOTS BEHIND THE CAMERA
games are headed. In fact, a few weeks before the film’s release, a tech
demo called The Matrix Awakens was released for PS5 and Xbox Series X. WHAT? The Victorian Pacific Heights home of Daniel Hillard
It showcased just how eerily realistic graphics can look these days, with (Robin Williams) that becomes the workplace of his alter-ego
Keanu Reeves and Carrie Anne-Moss appearing in the free download to
introduce a chase that, at times, looked better than the CGI in the film nanny Mrs. Doubtfire in the 1993 film.
itself. We could also look at the idea of an open-world where the AI WHERE? 2640 Steiner Street, San Francisco
doesn’t realise it’s part of a computer program, which we’ve arguably GO? This beautiful home always attracted attention as the star of
been playing for years in games such as The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Grand the movie, but has become something of a shrine to Williams.
Theft Auto 5, and Marvel’s Spider-Man. These games give us detailed worlds Easy to travel to by the 22 bus, it’s a quick walk to the mansion of
filled with characters who go about their daily business until the player Basic Instinct’s Catherine Trammell at 2930 Vallejo Street.
interrupts them. So in that sense, The Matrix is just presenting a type
of game that has been around for quite some time.

But what about the idea of a game being so convincing that you
don’t even know you’re in it? For humans, that’s unlikely to ever
happen (*cough*, I hope), even with the rise of modern VR devices
that allow you to fully immerse yourself in a game’s world by popping
on an uncomfortable headset. That’s not to say it might not happen
in the future, though, but it’s unlikely we’ll see virtual reality without
a cumbersome headset for quite some time.

Of course, we could all be in a game right now and not even know.
Or to butcher something Morpheus once said: You think this is a
magazine you’re reading?

VERDICT MILDLY BOLLOCKS

Want us to investigate if a movie scenario is bollocks or snapped yourself at a film location? Contact us at [email protected]

116 | TOTAL FILM | MARCH 2022 SUBSCRIBE AT WWW.TOTALFILM.COM/SUBS

10 OF THE BEST

RED CLOTHING
Scarlet Civvies

1 DON’T LOOK NOW 2 THE RAILWAY CHILDREN
3
5 Donald Sutherland’s grieving Pa How to stop a speeding puffer
7 is sure that the tiny figure in the train heading for derailment
9 scarlet mac flitting through the disaster? Wave your knickers at
labyrinthine streets of Venice it. In Lional Jeffries’ whimsical
TOTALFILM.COM is the spirit of his dead toddler Edwardian adventure, Bobbie’s
daughter. Red flag, Dad! Sadly bright bloomers save the day
more murderer than moppet, in a pre-tech world. Pants for
we’re afraid. the memories.

THE WIZARD OF OZ 4 CRUELLA

Cinema’s most famous crimson The queen of mean turns up to
apparel, Dorothy’s ruby slippers a black-and-white ball and of
were changed from the silver of course, she ignores the dress
the original book so that they read code. Dropping a match to ignite
better in glorious Technicolor. her snow-white cape, Cruella’s
Though numerous pairs were true look is revealed in a sea of
made, only five now survive. monochrome. Red lips, red frock…
That’s shoe-business. and red in tooth and claw.

SCHINDLER’S LIST 6 FLATLINERS

If that haunting score and the When Kiefer Sutherland’s student
subject matter were not enough doc decides to mess about with
to rip out your heart, Spielberg near-death experiences, he brings
adds a single splash of colour to something extra back from the
his black-and-white Holocaust afterlife. Billy Mahoney, the boy
opus; the little but striking he bullied, isn’t into forgiveness –
vermilion coat of a tiny Jewish his telltale red hoodie should have
girl lost amid the carnage. told Kiefer that.

ALAMY, BUENA VISTA, DISNEY, WARNER BROS, UIP, COLUMBIA THE RED SHOES 8 IRON MAN
10
Haunted ballet flats aren’t just Dressed in the livery of his
the name we give the party school colours, Iron Man’s
shoes we’ve walked too far in. kick-ass cherry suit is just as
For ballerina Moira Shearer, they shiny and flashy as the cars that
exude a strange, hypnotic power a young Tony Stark drives, but
that will drive her to mortal danger will ultimately become the hue
in a battle between love and of human sacrifice in Avengers:
ambition. Endgame. Click yeah!

SIN CITY BELLE DE JOUR

Cardinal Converse trainers become When a wealthy Parisian woman
both an unexpected fashion indulges in sexual daydreaming,
statement and a statement of she imagines the rouge Yves
intent for hardman Dwight (Clive Saint Laurent suit with as much
Owen) in Robert Rodriguez’s neo attention to detail as the BDSM
noir. His pumps are as crimson scene. Her outfit is as exquisitely
as the blood he’ll spill in a two- tailored as her fantasy. Mais oui!
colour world.
JANE CROWTHER

Did we miss something? Let us know on @totalfilm

MARCH 2022 | TOTAL FILM | 117

118 | TOTAL FILM | MARCH 2022

1946-2022

IVAN
REITMAN

While Steven Spielberg and George Lucas were busy shaping the blockbuster
movies that defined the late-’70s and ’80s, Ivan Reitman was doing a similar
job for comedy. From National Lampoon’s Animal House (which he produced) to
Ghostbusters, Stripes and Twins, the filmmaker repeatedly proved that laughter
could earn serious amounts of cash at the box office – all while making films that remain
utterly beloved decades later.

A pivotal part of Reitman’s early success the opportunity to dine at Hollywood’s top
was his ability to spot star quality in the table. Rather than relying on ready-made
casts of Saturday Night Live and its Canadian comedians, he recruited actors better known
counterpart, Second City Television. Like his for more serious roles – Robert Redford on
frequent collaborator Harold Ramis and Legal Eagles, Harrison Ford on Six Days, Seven
Animal House director John Landis, Reitman Nights – to deliver the gags. His most fruitful
built hit movies around comedic forces of – and possibly unlikely – partnership came
nature like John Belushi, Bill Murray, Dan with Arnold Schwarzenegger, as the director
Aykroyd, John Candy and Rick Moranis. The saw untapped comic potential in the biggest
relationship proved unbelievably successful, action star on the planet. Under Reitman’s
with the comedians finding themselves guidance, Arnie proved he could do more
catapulted into the ranks of Hollywood’s than simply deliver corny kiss-off lines, and
most wanted. Reitman, meanwhile, relished their team-ups on Twins and Kindergarten
the chance to work with stars who knew how Cop were both a success – even if their
to nail a gag – whether it had originated in third collaboration, Junior, failed to deliver
the shooting script, or from a moment of on the genuinely out-there premise of the
improvised genius on set. Terminator star having a baby.

The formula reached its zenith with Reitman could play it straight when he
1984’s Ghostbusters, a movie that mixed wanted to – he had early jobs producing
spooky, effects-driven sci-fi with endlessly Shivers and Rabid for fellow Canadian David
quotable dialogue and a cast at the absolute Cronenberg, while his final film as director,
top of their game. A family movie that 2014’s Draft Day, helped Kevin Costner get
doubles down on the adult-friendly humour, back to the sports movies he loves so much.
the spook-fest should never have worked But Reitman will be best remembered as
– Reitman himself struggled to emulate someone who made the world laugh, on
the film’s unique alchemy with his 1989 a scale few have been able to equal before
sequel – but the director captured lightning or since. He was also the unofficial fifth
in a bottle. This was a rare case of the right Ghostbuster, as integral to the franchise as
filmmaker marshalling the right cast at Spengler, Stantz, Venkman and Zeddemore.
exactly the right time. Indeed, it feels rather appropriate that he
was the one to double up for the late Harold
After Ghostbusters picked up the silver Ramis in Ghostbusters: Afterlife’s denouement
medal in 1984’s box office race – losing out – a fitting farewell to a legend of cinema.
to Beverly Hills Cop, itself headlined by an
SNL vet in Eddie Murphy – Reitman took RICHARD EDWARDS

ALAMY

MARCH 2022 | TOTAL FILM | 119

ERSETEALTE FLOP CULTURE

FOR SALE Rural detached family THE 13TH WARRIOR
home exuding Texan hospitality with
a spacious lounge/diner room perfect With its witches, monsters and Norsemen, John McTiernan’s Michael
for mealtimes or home crafting, and Crichton riff should have rocked. Did test screenings sap its nerve?
an extensive kitchen hidden from
view by characterful sliding door. The Why it was a good idea (on paper) teetering awkwardly between Kurosawa-esque
beautiful wooden staircase to landing Barbarism, battles, Banderas… With action ambition and Monty Python-ish silliness.
window (can be used as emergency maven John McTiernan (Die Hard) directing,
escape route) and attractive porch are Michael Crichton’s Middle Ages action-horror Redeeming feature
Victorian though current owners have promised all the mystery, mayhem and The aggressive combat scenes, heavy metal
created their own unique decor. Plenty man-hunk smoulder Viking-watchers could costumes and cannibalistic Wendols’ lair
of car parking space out back and large reasonably expect. are tactile and fierce. Man-choirs and all,
shed for power-tool storage. Comes Goldsmith brought awe to the score.
with ownership of nearby gas station What went wrong?
and a thriving BBQ business. Both Between Sphere and Timeline, McTiernan’s What happened next?
properties may need some TLC but adaptation of Crichton’s Eaters Of The Dead “I said to myself, ‘Let us stop this nonsense,’”
this is a project for a canny developer reiterated a salient point: not every Crichton said co-star Omar Sharif. Declaring the film
to get their teeth into. adaptation is Jurassic Park. Or even Congo. “humiliating”, the veteran actor pledged to
While Crichton’s source novel re-envisioned avoid blockbusters afterwards. Banderas’
CAR FOR SALE Beowulf through a 10th-century Arab scholar’s action career plummeted towards Ecks Vs.
eyes, McTiernan prioritised action gusto over Sever. McTiernan’s next film, The Thomas
FILM: THE FAST AND THE epic poetry. Test screening audiences in 1998 Crown Affair, emerged before Warrior reached
FURIOUS were left confused, leading to lengthy delays audiences, though he rolled off-track
VEHICLE: MAZDA RX-7 and McTiernan’s split from the project. As afterwards with Rollerball. Timeline and
MODEL: 1993 Crichton moved in to direct costly reshoots sundry Jurassics aside, Crichton-inspired films
and oversee cuts, the Eaters… appellation was also slowed down. Soundtrack reject Gerrard
Red sports car previously owned dropped, as were composer Graeme Revell and enjoyed Gladiator-sized glory, mind.
by ‘family’ man, with rebuilt singer Lisa Gerrard – Jerry Goldsmith stepped
engine (3mm apex seals for up. Re-edits left the film looking butchered Should it be remade?
better boost), 305 horsepower when it finally stumbled into rain-sodden Why bother, when The Northman looks set
at the wheels and bespoke view. Skol or otherwise, any bottle it might to satisfy all appetites for volcanic Viking
nitrous-oxide system for speedy have had was lost in a muddy muddle of vengeance? To quote Alexander Skarsgård,
getaways. Boasts a banging stereo shredded subplots and sketchy characters, “Aaaarrrrggh,” forsooth. KEVIN HARLEY
system and impressive ability at
a quarter mile at a time. Great for BUDGET BOX OFFICE AWARDS TF STAR RATING ROTTEN TOMATOES
140mph+ city trips and available
for quick cash sale. Owner travels $160m $62m 2 33%
internationally so please call
Lettie to arrange test drive.

★★★
★★

ALAMY

120 | TOTAL FILM | MARCH 2022 SUBSCRIBE AT WWW.TOTALFILM.COM/SUBS

REEL LIFE

INTERMISSION
A WRITER TAKES PAUSE TO CONSIDER…
How Amy Dunne gave me permission to fall in love with musicals.

LEILA LATIF

@ L E I L A _ L AT I F

As a millennial, my formative years Amy Dunne in a perfect bit of casting and my new Indianapolis speech, and I defended
were defined by a very specific era of spelled out exactly the person I was aiming to Julie Taymor’s Across The Universe with
womanhood. I came of age in a time be: “Nick loved a girl I was pretending to be. unwavering devotion.
where “ladettes” ruled, Katie Price Cool girl. The cool girl is hot. Cool girl is game.
was being heralded as some sort of feminist Cool girl is fun. Cool girl never gets angry at But it wasn’t until Crazy Ex-Girlfriend hit
icon, and the best kind of woman you could be her man. She like what he likes… I drank Netflix that I realised just how empowering
was the type that could hang out as one of the canned beer watching Adam Sandler movies. the musical could be. Like Amy Dunne,
bros, cracking bawdy jokes, and never making I ate cold pizza and remained a size 2.” The Rebecca Bunch is trapped in a role to please
them feel uncomfortable. This was highlighted monologue, from the gloriously acerbic pen others, working in a job she hates and
in the movies and TV of the era, filled with of Gillian Flynn, felt like a call to arms: Amy medicated to the point of numbness to make
minute actresses downing burgers and beers herself a more palatable professional woman
with the guys and “manic pixie dream girls” ‘Lyrics by Stephens and romantic prospect. The series follows
(eccentric female characters whose sole Sondheim and Trask her, in a bold, feminist romantic comedy and
purpose is to teach male protagonists to she navigates love, life and mental health all
embrace life) reigned supreme. became my new while singing unadulterated bops like ‘Let’s
Indianapolis speech’ Generalize About Men’, ‘Period Sex’, and my
As a budding young film nerd, there was personal favourite, ‘Antidepressants Are So
one message I heard loud and clear: girly Dunne was telling us to throw off the shackles Not A Big Deal’.
films are lame. Romantic comedies, Jane of masculine expectation and be a real human
Austen adaptations, melodramas and musicals person, not a carefully curated construct. Needless to say, the number of musicals
were not for “serious” film aficionados like of the past year has been utterly thrilling.
I considered myself to be. Instead I would focus It dawned on me that in that moment In The Heights transported me to fight
on gangsters, tortured antiheroes, serial killers that I shouldn’t be seeking out films that had gentrification and fall in love in Northern
and endless World War 2 movies. the male stamp of approval in order to seem Manhattan. tick, tick…BOOM! immersed me
“cool”. That maybe I could love Clueless as in the creative process of genius Rent composer
This was not all bad. My world view was Jonathan Larson, and West Side Story did
forever changed by Das Boot, Chinatown, and much as I loved The Texas Chain Saw the late, great Stephen Sondheim proud by
Blade Runner. No part of me will ever regret Massacre? Maybe I could admit that breathing new life into his iconic lyrics. Sure,
the 14 times I’ve seen Goodfellas or that I can I didn’t get the fuss about Heat there was also that lame Cinderella adaptation
recite the Indianapolis speech from Jaws but think Hairspray is genius? and an unintentionally terrifying turn from
from memory. But by absorbing the That I think Barbara Loden was Ben Platt in Dear Evan Hansen, but no genre
message that films like Yentl, The Piano a better director than Elia Kazan? is without its duds.
and Moonstruck weren’t in the same So, in the eight years
league, I nearly missed out on some since my re-education began, Next up there will be Matilda, starring
of the films I love the most. romances and melodramas the fabulous Lashana Lynch and adapted
were no longer off the from the Tim Minchin stage production that
It wasn’t until I was sitting menu, and I devoured every I unashamedly went to see three times. So
in the cinema in 2014 watching musical I could get my thank you Gillian Flynn. Thank you Rosamund
David Fincher’s then-latest hands on. Lyrics by Stephens Pike. Thank you Amy Dunne. Without you,
film, Gone Girl, that the amount Sondheim and Trask became I wouldn’t have realised that nothing is cooler
of cinematic misogyny I had than belting out ‘Wig In A Box’ at sing-a-long
internalised struck me. screenings of Hedwig And The Angry Inch and
Rosamund Pike played dressing up as Effie White for Halloween. For
delightful psychopath that, I am eternally grateful.

TOTALFILM.COM MARCH 2022 | TOTAL FILM | 121

THSEHBOITG NOLAN’S TENET
PLANE CRASH
I planned to do it using miniatures and
set-piece builds and a combination of high-security vault at Oslo Airport, they crash While scouting Victorville in California
visual effects and all the rest,” Tenet a Norskfreight aeroplane through the side of (standing in for Oslo Airport) the production
master-builder Christopher Nolan the building – scattering gold as they go and found a plane graveyard of decommissioned
told Total Film on the set of an eye-popping causing a serious distraction. vessels. “We started to run the numbers… It
moment in his time-bending 2020 opus. As became apparent that it would actually be more
the Protagonist (John David Washington) and Parked cars are crushed like Hot Wheels, efficient to buy a real plane of the real size,
his accomplices, Neil (Robert Pattinson) and the score booms and the bird’s gigantic nose and perform this sequence for real in-camera,
Mahir (Hamish Patel), attempt to breach a smashes through steel like butter. Though he rather than build miniatures or go the CG
may have intended to create this set piece via route,” Nolan told TF of the action we witnessed
effects, Nolan ultimately decided to do it for real.

WARNER BROS/MELINDA SUE GORDON

122 | TOTAL FILM | MARCH 2022

on the tarmac, joking that buying a 747 was stunt was still a dangerous one. Victorville engine, and those crafty tow ropes were erased
“kind of impulse buying”. Airport and Boeing needed to approve the post-shot. The result is still an astonishing
action. Physicists drew up calculations to feat – with the cast as agog at the scale as any
SFX supervisor Scott Fisher and production show the exact speed and stop for the plane to cinemagoer. Though Pattinson’s character
designer Nathan Crowley worked together assure both airport and plane manufacturer of suggests the ruse and seems relaxed about
with their new toy to pull off the ambitious the precision of the stunt. Tow vehicle driver ramming a jet into a hangar, the actor was
stunt. First things first, the jumbo needed Jim Wilkey had to earn a special licence to blown away by the scene when it happened
brakes as retired planes are cannibalised for pull the plane towards its demise, and then a on set. “You wouldn’t have thought there was
parts. “Our main focus was first replacing complex pulley system guided the final impact. any reality where you would be doing a scene
the brakes, because being able to stop it was The plane itself was piloted by a stunt driver where they just have an actual 747 to blow up!
obviously the most important thing,” said hidden in a pod near the wheel to ensure no It’s so bold to the point of ridiculousness…
Fisher. “We also had to figure out the steering, one was in the cockpit for the crash. I remember, as we were shooting it, I was
what our tow vehicle was going to be and make thinking, ‘How many more times is this even
sure everything was functioning as it should.” But even with such veracity, CG still had going to be happening in a film at all?’” A truly
Though the plane was towed to its crash site a place in the final product. Digital trees timeless scene. JANE CROWTHER
rather than actually pushed by engines, the were added so they could be sucked into the

MARCH 2022 | TOTAL FILM | 123

IS IT JUST ME?

Is Matt right, or just going
out in a Blaze Of Glory?

IS IT JUST ME OR IS BLAZE OF GLORY
THE BEST SOUNDTRACK EVER?

Never one to AOR (‘Billy Get Your Guns’, ‘Justice OFFICE-OMETER ‘Santa Fe’ celebrate courage in the face
In The Barrel’, ‘Never Say Die’) to THE TF STAFF of insurmountable odds, even though,
underdo things, Jon honkytonk workout (‘You Really Got VERDICT IS IN! as acknowledged on the beautiful
Me’) and gospel (‘Bang A Drum’), each campfire ballad ‘Blood Money’ – a
Bon Jovi pulled off serving the narrative perfectly. All this IT’S IT’S NOT benediction from Billy to his betrayer/
plus special guest appearances from JUST YOU JUST YOU killer Pat Garrett (William Petersen)
a feat of staggering Elton John, Jeff Beck and Little Richard, – there’s no way out. With its sun-
and quotations from John Donne and baked slide guitar, military drums
over-achievement The Bible. and whispered-prayer middle eight,
the bombastic ‘Blaze Of Glory’ even
MATT GLASBY with his 1990 debut JBJ had imagined himself a cowboy leans towards the profound. Here, JBJ
solo album. When before, but the story of Billy the Kid traces the intertwining of infamy and
@ M AT T G L A S B Y Young Guns II star (Estevez), whose celebrity also seals his immortality right back to Cain and
doom, clearly struck a chord. “All this Abel, celebrating the living, the dying
Emilio Estevez asked permission to use fame don’t bring you freedom, though and everything in between.
it wears a thin disguise,” he sings on
Bon Jovi’s 1986 hit ‘Wanted: Dead Or the stirring closer ‘Dyin’ Ain’t Much The result is a peerless soundtrack
Of A Livin’’. Having sold some 40m to a perfect movie, no matter that
Alive’ on the soundtrack, JBJ composed albums, he must have felt that disguise the latter only exists in Jon Bon Jovi’s
getting thinner himself. head… or is it just me?
an entire suite of original songs Share your reaction at www.gamesradar.
Yet this is no vanity project. Like com/totalfilm or on Facebook and Twitter.
instead, including the Billboard No.1 the best Bon Jovi songs, ‘Miracle’ and

‘Blaze Of Glory’. What’s even more

remarkable is that, while the film is

so-so, the album is a stone-cold

classic, receiving Grammy and

Academy Award nominations.

Considering it’s all commercial

country rock, the breadth of the music

is impressive, moving seamlessly from

LAST TIME Keiron Smith everything the DC suits are all looks. I like variety and new designs. GETTY, 20TH CENTURY STUDIOS, SONY
SHOULD Yeah, I don’t like this CGI suit thing practical barring Cyborg.
SUPERSUITS GO Marvel likes doing, I think it’s why @Neiljustsomeguy
BACK TO BASICS? the Cap suits look better than the Antonio Falisi Hate all the CG and greenscreen
Spidey ones, as the Cap suits were Some people like design and these days, you watch a film and
real. Interesting that despite innovation, some prefer original nothing is real any more.

124 | TOTAL FILM | MARCH 2022 SUBSCRIBE AT WWW.TOTALFILM.COM/SUBS

INSTANT EXPERT

KAIJU MOVIES
Big in Japan…

ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES WELL SUITED

Literally meaning ‘strange beast’, A common feature of early kaiju
the word ‘kaiju’ was first found movies is the use of ‘suitmation’:

in ancient Chinese writings about placing an actor in a creature
mythic creatures that supposedly suit and filming them against
roamed legendary lands. Though miniatures to invoke a sense of
scale. Though at times quaint –
rooted in literature, big beasts see the dated slapstick of King
were also a feature of early cinema, Kong Vs. Godzilla (1962) – it was
often incredibly effective, with
from the dinos of Arthur Conan Spielberg himself praising the
Doyle adaptation The Lost World realism of the ’54 original. Indeed,
suitmation continued into the
(1925) to the still-impressive millennium, offering a sense of
King Kong (1933). But it wasn’t tactility against increasing CGI.
until 1954 when the modern kaiju

movie truly arrived…

GODZ COMPLEX MONSTERS SPRAWL METAPHORS OF NATURE

Coming less than a decade Studio Toho quickly capitalised on Gojira’s success with a slew of sequels, Gojira’s post-war meditation
after the atomic bombing of introducing other monsters both as antagonists for Godzilla and as stars in on mass destruction set a
Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Ishirō their own right. The peak came with 1968’s Destroy All Monsters. Originally
Honda’s Gojira – aka Godzilla – intended to be the last ’zilla movie, it involves no fewer than 11 kaiju and is precedent for weighty themes.
saw the titular mega-monster considered by some to be Toho’s Infinity War. Meanwhile, other studios were Subsequent Godzilla films
roused by American nuclear catching on, with rival Daiei launching Gamera (1965) and Daimajin (1966).
testing to attack Tokyo. No tackled environmental concerns
simple spectacle, this was such as pollution and nuclear
the processing of national
energy, while Gamera 3: Revenge
trauma on a huge canvas. Of Iris (1999) grappled with the
That Godzilla became such a
beloved icon, rather than a hell of processing personal
simple villain, speaks volumes bereavement. Stateside too,
about the cathartic gravitas the kaiju-as-metaphor found
traction, with Cloverfield (2008)
Big G earned in Japanese being a thinly veiled reflection
consciousness. of America’s own national
trauma after 9/11. TIM COLEMAN

KEY MOVIES

GOJIRA 1954 MOTHRA 1961 DESTROY ALL MONSTERS 1968 GAMERA: THE HEISEI TRILOGY WARNER BROS, BFI, ARROW, TOHO, PARAMOUNT, EUREKA

★★★★★ ★★★★★ ★★★★★ 1995-99 ★★★★★

A towering shadow of rich emotion, Introducing a female monster, Honda’s Played in broad, silly strokes – Aliens! Post-Jurassic Park, Daiei’s flying space
the first kaiju blockbuster set the psychedelic stunner sees the giant Remote-controlled monsters! – this turtle got a gritty reboot, showcasing
moth tear through corrupt, capitalist proves that kaiju movies can also be
template for all that would follow. An men to rescue a pair of fairies. some of the best moments the
Americanised re-edit arrived in ’56. purely popcorn-flavoured. subgenre has to offer.

TOTALFILM.COM MARCH 2022 | TOTAL FILM | 125

BUFF

THE TF BRAIN

WHICH BAT-VILLAIN ARE YOU?
Is fear your ally? Or brrr-azen wordplay? Are you more likely to win a trophy, or nick one? Find out below!

HOUSE START YES
BREAKING DO YOU HAVE A
THING FOR GREEN
CLOTHES/HAIR/

ISSUES?

WHICH DO YOU PREFER: YOU ARE NO ARE YOU OSCAR YOU ARE
HOUSEBREAKING, OR VOTERS’ COMIC-
BREAKING MINDS AND CATWOMAN ARE YOU A BOOK BADDIE OF JOKER
POSSIBLY SPINES? MASK-FANCIER?
YES CHOICE? YES

MINDS & YOUR STYLE: RADICAL NO NOT SO
SPINES BODYBUILDER GIMP,
FAR
GIMP OR HOMICIDAL
WORZEL GUMMIDGE? DO YOU SHARE
YOU ARE YOUR NAME WITH
NO A TASTY AFTER- YOU ARE
BANE SCHOOL TREAT?
ARE YOU ALL SMOOTH AND THE RIDDLER
NICEY-NICEY AT FIRST, ARE YOU GETTING YOU HAVE
THEN MURDEROUS AF? OFF ON ALL THESE TO ASK??

YES QUESTION MARKS? YOU ARE

WORZEL NO ARE YOU A COLD- UH… NO POISON IVY
YES BLOODED MOBSTER
OR A PUN-LOBBING
FACIAL TRADEMARK:
EXTENSIVE SCARRING, OR COLDSTER?
WHISKERS LIKE DRAPES?

COLDSTER

SCARRING WHISKERS

MOBSTER

YOU ARE

SCARECROW

YOU ARE
MR. FREEZE
YOU ARE
YOU ARE YOU ARE THE PENGUIN

TWO-FACE RA’S AL GHUL

126 | TOTAL FILM | MARCH 2022 SUBSCRIBE AT WWW.TOTALFILM.COM/SUBS

MARCH 2022 | TOTAL FILM | 127 7

ANSWERS: 1. BLADE RUNNER 2. SEVEN SAMURAI 3. POINT BREAK (1990) 4. FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL 5. THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION 6. SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN 7. WITHNAIL & I 8. SPIDER-MAN TOTALFILM.COM

8 XXXXX

34
56

THE TF BRAIN

NAME THE FRAME

Can you guess these eight rainy movies?

12

Dialogue YOHUARVESAYTV•OITDTRAEOALFSILI•LEMRRES.CV•OINEMEWWSS

Mail, rants, theories etc.

totalfilm.com twitter.com/totalfilm facebook.com totalfilm [email protected]

★ STAR LETTER

I couldn’t agree more with Russ Tribe’s
Star Letter [TF320]. Film snobbery,
entitlement and the desire for likes and
retweets are destroying the celebratory
nature of film and cinema culture. If
someone wants to buy The Emoji Movie on
4K, watch it on a loop and revel in what it
means to them, who are we to tell them
they are wrong? Films of all kinds mean
so much to so many - please world, let
people love what they love. Nobody has
ever hurt anyone by declaring their love
for Police Academy 6.
DOMINIC HOLDER, CARLTON

Hear, hear. Though Police Academy 6 is for both types of Batman has learned the art of hanging WHAT YOU
possibly it would be worth film fans: real-estate-related corruption upside down from the ceiling. I hope MISSED ON
waiting till someone fans and things-go-splat-in-face fans. that’s the only skill he’s inherited from THE POD
has declared their love his namesake. LAST MONTH
for you before confiding @osmancandoit DAVID LEACH, VIA EMAIL
your ardour for any of the more Terrible
misunderstood entries in the ’80s [on the latest Morbius poster] Just wait till you see R-Battz scoffing Belgian
cop-comedy juggernaut. Dominic and great gobfuls of mosquitoes. Well, accents, invites
everyone with a letter printed here “[The] pointless helicopter he can’t be the World’s Greatest to dark alleys,
will receive a copy of Marvel Studios’ placement kills me” Detective on the world’s emptiest unexpected
Eternals, available now on DVD, Blu- stomach, can he? And just to reassure bats and
ray, 4K UHD and digital, via Walt who gets (dis)honoured, their special everyone, the ‘upside-down’ picture critical cats.
Disney. Didn’t send an address? Email categories do often capture a cultural is meant to be thus; we didn’t Oh, and
it! It won’t be around forever! moment - not least ‘Worst Eye-Gouging challenge our art ed to design a discussion of
Misuse Of 3D’ in 2010, following a wave page while inverted, á la Jackass or our Jamie in
BATTLE OF WILLIS of ‘conversions’ that ironically turned something. And well done Mr. Flubber a transparent
people into stereoscopy sceptics. for solving Batman’s theme-song mac(!). Plus
I have mixed feelings about the Razzies. crisis. You’re the lyricist - or maybe movie reviews,
For example, I thought it was harsh RE-NAME THAT TUNE The Lyricist - we need right now. interviews and
they picked on Ben Affleck, when he more… every
should’ve got an Oscar nom for The After reading your ace cover feature week!
Tender Bar. But then they have occasional in issue 321, I have a grave sense of
strokes of genius, such as this year’s foreboding… Well, you try it yourself REFLECTIVE INTEREST CURVE™
special category, ‘Worst Performance By and see: ‘Na na na na na na na na The
Bruce Willis In A 2021 Movie’! Can we Batman / Na na na na na na na na The THRILLED Joy of seeing colleagues IRL again Eyeing said
also talk about Denis Villeneuve’s Best Batman / The Batman, The Batman, ENTERTAINED colleagues with
Director snub in the Oscar noms? He did The Batman’. It just doesn’t scan. Think FLIPPIN’ ECK! suspicion over
what many thought was impossible! they’ll have to lose a ‘na’ or perhaps lack of teaspoons Finding any
HOWARD BRAZIL, BOTLEY ‘man’ and retitle the film The Bat! ‘Na BAD TIMES Remote-watching Sundance excuse to imitate DISNEY, WARNER
na na na na na na na The Bat…’ RUNNING TIME films in middle of night rather Dominion-trailer
We can indeed talk about the sheer ANDREW LLOYD FLUBBER, VIA EMAIL dino-cry
‘neuve’ of that decision, in this month’s than middle of blizzard
Can We Talk About? (see p22). As for the Judging from the photo on page 39
Razzies, whether or not you agree with in issue 321, it looks like this new WEEK 1 WEEK 2 WEEK 3 DEADLINE

128 | TOTAL FILM | MARCH 2022 SUBSCRIBE AT WWW.TOTALFILM.COM/SUBS

OFFICE SPACED GROUP EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
JANE CROWTHER
CHATTER ‘GEMS’ OVERHEARD IN THE TOTAL FILM OFFICE THIS MONTH…
[email protected]
“I’m just waiting for someone to have a @totalfilm_jane

*Venom-related injury” “There was a lot DEPUTY EDITOR MATT MAYTUM
[email protected] @mattmaytum
of unnecessary randiness in Death
REVIEWS EDITOR MATTHEW LEYLAND
*On The Nile” “A space in Office Spaced? Fill it!” [email protected] @totalfilm_mattl

AD LIBERTY @AustinAlistair1 NEWS EDITOR JORDAN FARLEY
[email protected] @jordanfarley
My local cinema is taking the piss and I [on The Book Of Boba Fett]
wonder if it’s a nationwide issue. They’ve PRODUCTION EDITOR ERLINGUR EINARSSON
started putting more bloody adverts after “Absolutely disappointing [email protected] @ErlingurEinars
the trailers! So we get ads, trailers, be- show; they didn’t do my
quiet-phone-off-et cetera notices, more ART EDITOR MIKE BRENNAN
bloody ads, then a blurry BBFC certificate boy right… Also, you should [email protected] @mike_brennan01
that never becomes in focus, just to NOT be killing interesting
make you unnecessarily panic before FILM GROUP
the film finally starts. Don’t they realise villains as soon as you
I paid to be there?! To see the film, not introduce them!” Editor (SFX) Darren Scott Art Editor Jonathan Coates
all that shite! Deputy Editor Ian Berriman Production Editor Ed Ricketts
ANNE GREEMAN, SOUTHAMPTON the dangers of the ‘Blockbuster’ and
now these cinematic leviathans are CONTRIBUTORS
Maybe advertisers are making up for trampling all other movies into the
lost pandemic time? Or maybe your margins of screen timetables. As such, Editor-at-Large Jamie Graham
projectionist is trying to put off that a new cinematic hobby has sprung up, Art studio Catherine Kirkpatrick
moment where they have to press with its participants known as flickers. Prepress and cover manipulation Gary Stuckey
play on their 95th showing of Moonfall These people aim to snatch a viewing Hollywood Correspondent Adam Tanswell
that week? Incidentally, talking of the of any rare non-behemoth movie only Contributing Editors Kevin Harley, James Mottram, Neil Smith, Josh Winning
public-notice bits, did they ever catch fleetingly sighted at the multiplex. I Contributors Musanna Ahmed, Tara Bennett, Tom Dawson, Richard Edwards, Matt Glasby, Joel
the ‘Thievessss are ssssilent’ snake overheard a gasp as one flicker told Harley, Leila Latif, Ann Lee, Matt Looker, Ashanti Omkar, Chris Schilling, Josh Slater-Williams, Kate
half-inching all the handbags? And another, “I caught sight of a Nightmare Stables, Gabriel Tate, Anton van Beek
what on earth was a snake going to Alley at 11.40am on Tuesday at Cardigan Entertainment Editor, Gamesradar+ Jack Shepherd [email protected]
do with a stolen umbrella?! Fields Leisure Park, Kirkstall!” Photography Alamy, Getty, August, Serline Associates
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S P O IELRETR!
A L
S6C0RESEENCPOLNADY
TF SAVES YOU THE COST OF A MOVIE EVERY MONTH. THIS ISSUE: THE MATRIX RESURRECTIONS…

FADE IN: the last movie, I resurrected you to power this
new Matrix.
INT. ABANDONED ROOM
A new disruptive character inside the KEANEO REEVES
Matrix, literally called BUGS, watches a line- You cured death? That seems like a big deal!
by-line recreation of the beginning of the first Can’t that technology be harnessed to power
Matrix movie.
the Matrix instead?

BUGS MORPHEYAHYA EXT. UNDERGROUND CITY
This seems so familiar… like a Red pill or blue pill? Never mind. Choice is an KEANEO REEVES meets with NIOBE
disappointing rehash of something that illusion… because we’re going to do the same thing PINKETT SMITH again, as well as a robot
bird that is never explained. He then meets
has already happened. as the first film. TRIFFITY for more coffee.

MORPHEYAHYA KEANEO REEVES wakes up in the real world. TRIFFITY
Freeze! I’m Agent Smith… but I’m actually Again. He immediately enters a virtual dojo for So you’re telling me everything is fake
Morpheus, because of computer reasons. It’s some kung-fu training. Again. and I should leave my husband and kids to
wake up in a horrible dystopia? Nah, blue pill,
confusing. Anyway, let’s find Neo. KEANEO REEVES
So all that meta set-up was pointless because this please.
INT. OFFICE
KEANEO REEVES, successful creator of the is just like the other movies? She leaves but immediately changes her mind.
Matrix… er… games, meets his business partner/ They escape a swarm of attackers on a bike and
nemesis AGENT GROFF and suffers flashbacks to EXT. UNDERGROUND CITY reach a rooftop where they jump off.
the previous films. KEANEO REEVES meets NIOBE PINKETT SMITH in
terrible old-age prosthetics. KEANEO REEVES
NEIL PATRICK ANALYST Hey, I can’t fly, but you can? Because you’re the
You’re experiencing a case of meta-paranoia, but KEANEO REEVES
don’t worry, it’s all in your head. Oh, have you met Triffity was there and I need to go back and powerful one now?

my improbably named cat, Deja-Vu? rescue her. TRIFFITY
No, we’re powerful together, because of true
A creative team discusses why a new Matrix NIOBE PINKETT SMITH
instalment would be terrible and it’s hard to You can’t. It will endanger us somehow. The future love probably.
disagree. Meanwhile, KEANEO REEVES has
coffee with TRIFFITY. of the human race depends on you not trying to INT. ANALYST’S OFFICE
rescue Triffity. Somehow. KEANEO REEVES and TRIFFITY crash though
TRIFFITY NEIL PATRICK ANALYST’s office wall and fly in.
The woman character in your game looks a lot like KEANEO REEVES tries to rescue TRIFFITY. There’s
a big fight with AGENT GROFF. Suddenly NEIL TRIFFITY
me, but how? Also I’m married with kids. Sorry PATRICK ANALYST appears. We’re here to tell you that we’re going to change
about that. things around here. Because we’re The One…s.
NEIL PATRICK ANALYST
KEANEO REEVES Ah-ha! It was me all along! After you died in The Ones.
I’m so confused, but at least this meta premise is
an original way to make a Matrix sequel without KEANEO REEVES
Wow, so this film actively undoes the original
retreading old ground. trilogy so that it was ALL a waste of time? Is it too

INT. ABANDONED ROOM late for the blue pill? The first one?
KEANEO REEVES is shown movie clips from
The Matrix where he is told he is inside FIN
the Matrix, and is then told that he is inside
the Matrix. NEXT ISSUE: SCREAM

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