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Published by angela, 2019-05-13 11:36:01

Stump Edition #9

Stump Edition #9


05/17/2019 "To inform, entertain, and provide a voice for all membersof the Christ School community." Vol 0009

Pr aise Well Deser ved, M s. M or r ison and M r.
Har r is Receive Headmaster 's Awar d for 59
Year s of Ser vice

Jackson Bewley '20 Photos courtesy of Mrs. Wheeler

On May 4th, enlightened us all. Their

during Alumni honest and welcoming

Weekend, Ms. Morrison character has allowed

and Mr. Harris were them to truly connect

honored with the with students and

Headmaster?s Award faculty for decades.

after 59 years of During Mr. Krieger?s

combined service to the pre-award speech, he

Christ School mentioned that if Christ

community. Ms. School had a motto, it

Morrison and Mr. Harris would be Mr. Harris?

have helped nurture, well-known quote,

educate and mold ?Don?t be sorry, be

thousands of young responsible.? It?s a

boys into men since phrase that continues

1989 and 1990. Words ?empower? and

cannot describe their encourage students to be

lasting legacies and the their best selves. Ms.

impact they?ve had on Morrison reflected on

Christ School for over the time Christ School

two generations. This received its first

year, Ms. Morrison and computer in the early

Mr. Harris plan to retire 90?s and thanked the

and are looking forward alumni and everybody

to traveling and for their continued

spending time with their generosity and support. Mrs. Morrison and Mr. Harris.

family. Ms. Morrison also early age, he knew that pass knowledge on everyone. love these treaured
he wanted to teach. Ever through teaching. Mr. faculty have earned over
Ms. Morrison thanked everyone for since he was 14, Mr. Harris talked about the The record-breaking their years at Christ
Harris always knew he importance of giving attendance at this year's School. They will be
and Mr. Harris? unique their commitment and wanted to give back and back and thanked Alumni Weekend is missed.
clear testament to the
and innovative teaching dedication to Christ

methods have School. Mr. Harris

spoke of how, from an

Quiz Bowl A-Team 2019-2020 SENI OR PREFECTS

Photo courtesy of Mr. Dowling Photo by Jack Adams

Left to right; Michael Mahoney '20, Lux Haney-Jardine '20, Wyatt Gildea '19, Listed left to right top to bottom; Cameron Akers (Day Student Prefect),
Will DuBose '19.

After a successful season, Christ School's Quiz Bowl team qualified for Jack DuBose (Young House Prefect), Jack Knott (Cunningham House

the second year in a row and traveled with their advisor Mr. Ben Dowling Prefect), Ferrell Lail (Gardner House Prefect), Eddie Willis Flemming

to Chicago to compete in the National Academic Quiz Tournament (Harris House Prefect), Wesley Garbee (Job Prefect), Thomas

(NAQT) 2019.. There, they had an imporved showing than the previous MacIntosh (South Carolina House Prefect), Larry Johnson (Spirit

year, but fell short of getting to the finals. With the addition of new Prefect), Justice Ajogbor (Cunningham house Prefect), and Joseph

member, Will Dubose, the team finished the year strong. Coladonato (Noland House Prefect).

05/17/2019 The Axe- Op/Ed Page 2

Poetr y in the L abor ator y

By Alex Xu '19 Photo by Zack Grella divided into patterned boxes by dark percent of fortune?s favorite - defined by an
membranes. Suddenly, I discover that a observable alteration in amino acid
The staccatos of mechanical sounds simple sample cell is red and shades of white sequences. One in a million, a noticeable
coupled with rhythmic pounding of computer with a fragile pink edge. If some being mutation is made with the cohort effort of
keyboards and pipette tips comprise the creates us or destroys us, this cell exemplifies countless energy and sacrifices. Successful
symphony of a NIH lab for ketogenic lifestyle it all, and in just the right apparatus all the evolution, a positive driving force towards
details and complexities surface. I am no systematic advancement, is composed of
Alex in the chemistry lab. more complex than a nanometer wide cell tentative tries of mutations, even mostly
diseases. Putting on the best that consists infinite possibilities for change obscure, with undefined direction. Cells are
safety-code-required white coat, microflex and forms living matters. Indeed, I am quite always dauntless harbingers of change, so do
glove, and protection goggles, I shake off the small compared to the cells that carry the everyone of us endowed with the spirit of
world and enter another. universal code of creation and potential challenge.
panacea for all diseases.
I rush into a place where I am so For cells and human beings, we love
minute. When a microscopical light falls on I run into a world that changes so rapidly. to spin the wheel against the current of orders
the slide through the ocular lens, my vision is Either evolution or mutation can happen in a despite knowing how weak we are alone.
matter of seconds during an experiment. A Ultimately, the NIH internship lab illustrates
a microcosm of the real world. I fall in love
silent mutation might be unseen, or we with biology each time I study it further, for
sometimes neglect it, just like so many flash its simplicities and complexities while
of initiatives without a chance to bloom. I explaining how humans came to be - this
choose to capture mine and pursue them. A keeps my mind busy and vivid, and it will for
point mutation might be futile despite years to come.
numerous efforts striving to break the
thresholds. ?Likely? results, in a laboratory Ah! laboratory! Ah, humanity!
and in reality, are sealed and forgotten by the
unstoppable orders of procedure and time. A
frameshift mutation belongs to the one

The PewDiePie Affair

By Ethan Park '23

On March 15, 2019 at 1:40 in Photo From Wikipedia that the world-famous Felix parenthood, so to hear his cause and effect be from these
the afternoon, terrorists would support that. After all, name now mentioned by a events? What will happen to
stormed a mosque in he does have close to 100 terrorist and not know the the reputation of gamers and
Christchurch, New Zealand, million subscribers and trends of the teen generation the influence that parents think
killing 50 innocents and everyone knows him. Where is would be concerning. af [MD5] fect the children of
injuring 50 more. The gunman the big problem? Well, today? And will there be more
responsible for attacking the unfortunately there are 7.7 So here is something to look problems in the future?
first mosque posted his billion people living in the for in the future: What will the
manifesto minutes before the world, so in comparison to 7.7
attacks began. The manifesto PewDiePie billion, 100 million is only a
was 73 pages long and was small fraction of the world?s
sent out to 30 people including subscribe to Pewdiepie. population. Therefore, anyone
the prime minister via email who doesn?t know of
before the shooting. The In a sense, this was a Pewdiepie could make the Published by the Christ School
gunman also livestreamed the form of propaganda wrong assumption that the Honors Journalism class
shooting on Facebook and designed to stop T-Series from popular gamer is a terrorist
prior to walking into the becoming the most subscribed supporter influencing the Senior Editor
mosque pauses to speak: channel in the world, spreading younger generation with his Jack Adams '20
?Remember lads, subscribe to across many channels and videos.
Pewdiepie.? often mentioned within the
digital world. I decided to ask around to see
To most people in the world, what people?s reactions would
the meaning of this is So, if you didn?t know who be on this, both students and Senior Staff Junior Staff
confusing and somewhat Pewdiepie is, you have a basic teachers. Most of the responses Will Dodenhoff '19 Jackson Bewley '20
daunting but if you spend a lot understanding about him. But were not ones of worry which Zachary Grella '19
of time on YouTube you to go back to the shootings, surprised me considering the Will McNichols '19 Sam Brie '21
recognize the reference why is this single phrase so amount of tension that had Coles Manning '19 Jack Knott '20
immediately. important, and why does it risen during that day. Then I Charles Redhead '19
realized that most of the people Faculty Advisor Joseph Visconti '20
In the world of social media, even matter? The answer is I had talked to were people Mrs. Mary Dillon Michael Wang '19
Felix Kjellberg, also known as simple; anyone who doesn?t who did not have teens of their Alex Xu '19
Pewdiepie is an internet star know who Pewdiepie is now own. I decided to ask those
who makes gameplay videos who were parents of a teenager Christ School, Established 1900
on YouTube. The channel thinks that he is a and received drastically 500 Christ School Rd.
currently holds the record for terror-supporting idol that the different results. Many people
most subscribers but in the past younger generation look up to were worried out of their wits Arden, North Carolina 28704
months a battle has been raging as a role model. for their children?s safety [email protected]
in the internet- a battle for the
most subscribers. Now this obviously isn?t true. against the gamer, stating that
the ?influence? that he had on
T-Series, the second most The idea of Pewdiepie his or her child could mean that
popular YouTube channel has the son could become another
been competing with associated with terrorism for terrorist. Keep in mind that
Pewdiepie for the most popular
channel and through the battle most of us is a completely these are only people who had
came a phrase well known to heard the name ?Pewdiepie?
those who surf the internet: unbelievable assumption. mentioned once or twice from
their kids through their
Surely people wouldn?t think

05/17/2019 The Axe- Op/Ed Page 3

"Oh my God. Thisisterrible.

Thisisthe end of my Presidency. I 'm !* %#ed.?

By Jackson Bewley '20 A political rundown of the Mueller Report from Red and Blue perspectives.

The recent release of the emails). Democrats, in order to advance someone who appointed them
Trump?s campaign. and they personally support?
Mueller Report has split the The social media
campaign led by Russia sought to How has Trump?s own party
nation in half, with some ?amplify political and social handled it? The Dem?s Reaction
discord in the United States.? In
Democrats urging for 2014, IRA workers went to The Republican Response
America to gather intelligence.
impeachment, despite Speaker The IRA, then, created fake Anti-Trumpists: Many Extreme Progressives,
social media accounts to attack Anti-Trump Republicans have
Pelosi?s pushback, and Clinton and glorify Trump, in said they should distance let?s just call them the
hopes of furthering political themselves from Trump in 2020.
Republicans are ready to ?move division. By 2016, GRU began to Senator Mitt Romney (R-UT) Democratic Socialists,
hack and infiltrate the Clinton said that he was ?sickened? by
on? or distance themselves from Campaign. In March, they the report?s ?pervasiveness of Representatives Ilhan Omar
hacked John Podesta?s (Clinton dishonesty.?
Trump. Regardless of how one Campaign Chair) emails. They (D-MN), Rashida Tlaib (D-MI),
also hacked the Democratic Trumpist Bloc: Many of
politically feels, the Mueller National Convention (DNC) and Trump?s supporters have claimed and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
the Democratic Congressional that it was a witch-hunt that
Report has some eerie revelations Campaign Committee (DCCC). Democrats took way too far. (D-NY) have all called for the
The stolen emails and Representative Steve Scalise
about Russia?s involvement in the information from the Democrats (R-LA) says that the ?Democrats impeachment of President
was leaked on WikiLeaks by have way overstepped and
2016 Presidential Election. GRU. Trump praised WikiLeaks overplayed.? Many of the Trump. Big party Democrats
for the attacks on the Clinton Trumpist Republicans believe
Mueller Report Findings? Campaign. that way too much is being done such as Senator Chuck Schumer
since no collusion had been
As the Republican found with Trump. President (D-NY) and Speaker Pelosi have
National Convention approached, Trump has vehemently criticized
Russian Intelligence Kushner, Trump jr., and Manafort this ?false narrative, terrible called for the release of the full
continued to meet with Russian thing.? Donald Trump Jr. has
interfered in the 2016 businessmen and lawyers. They come to his father?s defense and Mueller Report. They believe that
met with Natalia Veselnitskaya, a believes that the Democrats have
Presidential Election, period. Russian Lawyer, and she offered pushed this ?false narrative? Congress hasn?t been given
to disclose information that because they still couldn?t come
Evidence from 2016 shows that would hurt the Clinton Campaign to terms with the 2016 enough information from the
and assist Trump?s. Donald Presidential Election. Attorney
Russian Intelligence agencies, the Trump Jr. responded with ?if it's General William Barr has the investigation. Honestly, I
what you say, I love it,especially authority over the report, and this
Internet Research Agency (IRA) later in the summer.? In is actually problematic, because somewhat agree with Schumer
summary, the Russian since he?s a Trump supporter he
and the G.U. Generalnogo Shtaba Government interfered in the could only disclose information and Pelosi because Trump
2016 presidential election by out of his self-interest of not
(GRU), had been conducting launching a full-on cyber warfare hurting Trump?s reputation. Why continues to claim ?no collusion,
against Clinton and the would someone disclose
hacks and cybersecurity damaging information against no obstruction? and if you boldly

breaches. The Democratic declare that you?re innocent and

National Committee filed claims had no connections,shouldn?t you

that their computers had been have nothing to worry about

infiltrated by Russian hackers. then? Why so nervous Mr.

The Russian government President, don?t we, the

conducted cyberwarfare using American people, deserve to hear

?two operations.? the truth and not the ?fake

1. The Russian government news??

conducted a ?social media The bold black lines on

campaign? that smeared the 488-page Mueller Report

and deliberately attacked continue to baffle millions of

the Clinton Campaign Americans, as we?re all eager for

while favoring Trump?s the truth. At least for now, the

Campaign. President is innocent but, if

2. Russian intelligence Attorney General Barr and

hacked individuals on Mueller go before Congress, we

Clinton?s Campaign and could get some more information

released confidential surrounding Russia?s

documents (Podesta involvement in the 2016

Emails and DNC leaked Presidential Election.

A picture of those with connections to the Russian Investigation and the Mueller Testimony

05/17/2019 Roots Page 4

Chr ist School Publications: 119 Year s of Tr adition

Coles M anning '19

Student publications administration's Galax
which is published twice
have a long, rich history All pictures courtesy of the Christ School archive yearly. The Warrior?s
decade stint as the
within colleges and high school?s newspaper was a
successful one. In fact,
schools throughout the the paper was even
mentioned in the
United States. The first nationally acclaimed book
The Jersey Brothers by
student newspaper, The Sally Mott Freeman, a
recent visitor to Christ
Dartmouth, was first School. One of the main
characters of the book,
published by students of Barton, was a Christ
School Alumnus and a
Dartmouth College in member of The Warrior
1799. Since then, student
In 1938, The
publications have Warrior was renamed The
Christ School News and
sprouted in nearly every was the longest running
student publication in the
institution of higher school?s history. The
paper was produced in
learning in the world. one form or another from
1938 all the way until
Even right here in North 1994. However, after
1994 it had become the
Carolina there is an school magazine, the
predecessor to The Galax.
established pedigree of The Christ School News
was briefly joined in the
successful publications. years 1940-1942 by
Hilltopics, a weekly
The Daily Tarheel of the student made newsletter.
Hilltopics was described
University of North by the The Christ School
News in October 1940 as
Carolina at Chapel Hill a means to ?supply
certain amount of humor
first produced in 1893 and human interest to the
campus.? The newsletter
now has a staff was published in green
ink and featured cartoons,
numbering in the jokes, and other small
stories deemed, ?too
hundreds and a circulation humorous? to be featured
in the journalistic focused
in the thousands. The Christ School News. The
"News" served the student
paper has successfully body of Christ School for
nearly six decades. It
produced work that not reported hundreds of
stories and saw the school
only informs UNC?s through some of its best
and worst periods.
student body of events
The 60s, 70s, and
happening on their own 80s were a turbulent time
for the school. Low
campus, but events enrollment and cultural
unrest threatened the very
occurring in the fabric of the school.
However, out of this
community and beyond.

Christ School is no The very first Galax Leaf, printed in October 1901

exception to the history of

student publications. athletic victory, a 10 to 8 paper was published the English Department.
victory over the ?Arden? between 1929 and 1938. Interestingly enough, the
From the very baseball team. As most school papers do, paper also reported on the
founding of Christ School The Warrior, reported on status of alumni including
there have been It wasn?t until the basic going ons of the where they were currently
newsletters, newspapers, 1929 that students started school.Funded completely living and what they were
journals, and magazines; their own publication, The by ads paid for by local doing professionally or
published by both the Warrior, named after businesses, the paper was personally, a duty now
school and the student Christ School?s previous produced monthly though only relegated to the
body. The very first was mascot, the Warriors. The
written by Susan
Wetmore herself shortly The first issue of The Warrior
after the school?s
founding in 1900.
Published in October
1901, The Galax Leaf
(1901-1941) was meant to
educate parents and
potential doaners about
the purpose and mission
of Christ School. That
newsletter also contained
a story of a boy from New
York named Bryan Peters
who donated a 5 dollar
gold coin to the new
school, a substantial
amount of money for a
child in the day and
shared the news of Christ
School?s first recorded

05/17/2019 Roots Page 5

The original flag of The Christ School News

difficult time came a Other than existence, naming it in
honor of Susan
silver lining. The Struan, Greenleaves, a short lived Wetmore?s original news
bulletin. The paper was
Christ School?s literary student paper in the late the first one to be fully
created on computers.
and art magazine, almost 90?s, student journalism
Christ School
certainly dates its creation basically died out after student newspapers saw a
brief sabbatical until the
to this period. The first The Christ School News spring of 2017 when this
publication was first
known copy dates back to stopped it?s monthly issued. The Stump
continues to uphold a
the summer of 1975 but it publications. However, nearly century long
tradition of student
almost certainly was the Krieger years have publications dating all the
way back to 1929.
founded earlier. The fostered new growth and Publications at Christ
School, thanks to Susan
Struan gets its name from rejuvenation in student Wetmore date back even
further. Due to the
the Scottish word for journalism. While not a deliberate work of
students, faculty, and
stream. The publication is literary publication, alumni, Christ School?s
several publications seem
now one of the greatest CSBN, short for Christ poised to continue the
rich tradition of
feathers in the cap of School Broadcast journalistic, artistic, and
literary success.
Christ School?s student Network, has flourished

body. It is a chance for the by airing athletic events

student body to showcase allowing parents of The cover of the 2015 winter Galax

poetry, art, and boarders to see their sons

photography. For a sporting events. Led by

campus filled with Mr. Ross Weathersby ?10,

window licking jocks, CSBN has emerged as an

The Struan is a shining excellent media platform.

visage of the intellectual Even print publications

side of the student body have once again begun to

that is sometimes not easy flourish. The Galax Leaf

to see. In 2018, The published between 2003

Struan won a statewide and 2011 saw a period of

award for distinction in success reporting on very

student publications given similar topics to The

by the North Carolina Christ School News. Mrs.

Scholastic Media Dillon headed The Galax

Association. Leaf though its entire

The cover of the 1975 Struan

Several of the Christ School publications from the past 100 years The cover of the most recently published, 2019 Struan

05/17/2019 Feature Page 6

" You Eat... Dog?"

By M ichael Wang '19

A very common question health for your body. Chinese culture that people did eat If you want a closer look on this dogPhoto From
Chinese students have been asked at dogs and some people still do. I have meat trade in China, there is a
Christ School is, ?Have you ever The kind of dog being eaten no shame in admitting what I do documentary by VICE NEWS about
eaten dog?? And many people might are 99% from dog farms where those within my culture. the Yulin Dog Meat festival.
say, ?Wang, please don?t eat my dogs are raised as food. But sadly,
puppy.? I personally think it?s funny there are a slight proportion of dogs Most Chinese people do not Golden Retriever
and dogs are cute. My family has a that are being stolen from pet owners encouraging dog eating. Also, I
golden retriever and he is about a which I personally believe to be believe no one supports eating pet
year old. My entire family adores extremely inhumane. To be honest, I dogs. But the dog meat market is a
him, and believe it or not, he is a have eaten dog, but back when I was small industry in China which many
great friend and we do not plan to eat about 10 years old. So many people unskilled people live on and feed
him. ask me if it was good, but my answer their family based on the dog meat
is dog meat does not taste very trading. If the government would
First, Chinese people do eat special to me and I can?t remember strengthen regulations on dog meat
dog. In the big cities, as people start what it tastes like. Because of this, I trading and support the transferring
to have more dogs as pets and as the interviewed Daniel Liang ?21 who of people from the dog meat industry
anti-dog eating protests are going has also eaten dog. He told me that to other similar industries, the
around in China, less and less city the texture of the meat is slightly situation could be a lot better. Even
people eat dog meat. And there are different from beef. I appreciate his though the dog meat trade is
no dog restaurants in big cities but honesty because many Chinese considered cruel to many people, it is
only in small towns where the people who have eaten dogs before a part of Chinese culture which the
economy and education are behind. would not tell the truth to prevent Chinese ancestors started when food
Some Chinese people believe that others identifying him or her as supply wasn?t adequate to feed the
dog meat is nutritious and produce barbaric. However, it is a part of the population.

Health & Fitness - Why Everyone Should Stand...and Squat

By Char les Redhead '19

The father of all exercises is In order to counteract this, cook a healthy meal, cannot afford to and lower back will thank you later I
the back squat. It is the most doctors recommend standing 30 eat better than fast food, or do not promise.
compound lift, alongside the deadlift, minutes for every hour sitting to care enough to change their health
meaning it recruits the most muscles receive health benefits. I spoke with habits. There is no better time to According to the Mayo
in the body in one singular Mrs. Parham about her office space improve your lifestyle than today. Be Clinic, ?An analysis of 13 studies of
movement. and she told me she switches better today, to look better tomorrow. sitting time and activity levels found
between sitting and standing all As Shia Labeouf once said, ?Just do that those who sat for more than
As we evolve and become throughout the day and recommends it.? eight hours a day with no physical
more and more advanced as a it to anyone that might suffer from activity had a risk of dying similar to
civilization, we sit all day and all some tight hamstrings or lower back Do not let the sedentary the risks of dying posed by obesity
night. Think about it. About how issues. lifestyle that we are used to living and smoking.? The older one
many hours do you think you are take over your life. Stand up, stretch, becomes, the more important a need
sitting a day? Five hours? Six Hours? Many Americans are aware walk around, get water, go to the for exercises grows.Standing or
Not even close. We as humans sit an of the gym and healthy eating but bathroom, do something to stay walking around is key in one?s health
average of 13 hours a day. they either don?t have enough time to limber and loose. Your hamstrings in an office job.

Photos from

An example of proper back squat form

05/17/2019 Special Senior Section Page 7

CongratulationsClassof 2019

To Christ School?sClassof 2019:

I?ve alwaysbeen fascinated with greenhouses. The idea of so many different plants, plethora varietals, growing in unison isjust amazing. What a
great opportunity to witnessthe richnessand creativity of nature!

Boys, you?re about to leave Christ School?sGreenhouse. All of you have grown together, nurtured by the environment created by each other and by
the careful green thumbsof a faculty and staff that are deeply and lovingly invested in your future success. Remarkably diverse though you are, you will
alwayshave a common root, a shared experience: Christ School.

It isyour duty and your privilege to pay thisforward. Asyou are planted, asof May 19, in the Wild World, you must make a concerted effort to
continue to grow and grow well, knowing that you will shape whatever environment in which you find yourselves. You are academics, artists, athletes,
and young men of distinction. You are friends, and you are brothers. Believe it or not, you will change thisworld. Change it for the better. Grow where
you?re planted. Never forget your roots. Your gardenersare so proud of the way you have bloomed here in Arden, and we are thrilled to see how you?ll
continue to thrive beyond the Gatehouse.

You?re ready for the world, gents, and the world needsyou - each and every one of you, and each and every gift you can share with humankind. Go
be unstoppable.


Senior Predictions- Satire

As the senior class embarks James L illy is asleep. lacrosse in Australia. K evin M cCar thy is still
on the next part of their lives, Kevin.
these are our predictions of Otto Thom is bald and runs Hunter M acomber has his
what that may look like for a chocolate factory. own turkey hunting show Will M cNichols runs an elite
each of them. called, Macomber Shoots
Zach Grella is filming Turkeys. Thomas M ay is an summer lacrosse program.
Nick Dee is now a movies for The Church of exotic dancer in Myrtle
Soundcloud rapper. Scientology. Beach, SC. Pi er ce Par ker is

K obi Selby signed to Capitol Hale Caffer y sets record for Gor don Brown is happily circumnavigating the world
Records. world's longest beard. married to Mary Schilling.
in his Sunfish.
Dr ake Oliver is touring with Cameron Von Strolley K eyvaun Cobb is a
Nickelback as their new becomes a motivational cornerback in the NFL. Ted Peter son and his cult
frontman. speaker. have occupied Mars and have
Jacob Dowler becomes a started growing their own
Geor ge Janvier is K oj ack Thompson?s floater political speaker and debates food.
performing Shakespeare for now reaches a pick of 55ft
the blind and deaf. above the court. Ben Shapar io, and no one Hank Pr itchar d still has a
can tell who is who. long neck.
William Dodenhoff has had Coles M anning is bald, and
three nose jobs and now his history meme page has L ogan Easler has a fishing Char les Redhead starts an
looks like Michael Jackson. over 250k followers. show. online class called ?How to
be Nice.?
Ross Oakley has compiled Will DuBose runs for Senate Hunter Embler becomes the
7,458 noise complaints. and only gets two votes from 7x disc golf world champion. K aedin Robinson is playing
himself and his mom. pro football in Japan.
James M ur phy and Sean Hutson For d is still very
M ur phy legally become Hagan Brooks has a mullet unlucky. Bor den Sasnett is still cute
triplets with Mr. Sonneland. and now has two sofas in his ;).
minivan. M ac Gor tney is a monster
Andrew K ing is on a yacht truck driver and took over Clay Schoettelkotte
shopping for new yachts. Weller K reimer has torn all the truck ?Grave Digger.?
his ligaments in his knee. becomes a cult leader.
Thomas Smoots shrunk two Tyler Haldeman becomes
inches. Doug Bland is a famous the CEO of Goldman Sachs. Eddy Sher man is running
streamer. away from the IRS.
K evin and Trey's YouTube Jack Har r ison is working on
chill has four million Char les Thompson is still publishing his first book and Andy Su is the Primer of
subscribers and host a late blaming all of his life is an economics professor in China.
night show. problems on Coach Harris. England.
Payton Sur face is on a
M arcus Ber ger became too Corey L avinder is playing Evan Hoyle?s hand is still beach in Florida.
liberal for UNC. pro soccer. broken.
Chad Treadway has become
Hunter Tar ves is married Br ad Halver son still relies M ax L ecroy is playing the next Kenny Powers.
with 12 children. on his jump shot. professional baseball in
Siberia. Alex Xu is running Men's
Chr istian Blanks hasn?t TJ Bell is the manager of the Vogue.
been seen since graduation Asheville Tourist JV Team. James L opez is ending
because he hasn?t taken his church services across the M ichael Wang has his own
gilly suit off. Zack Gr inde is a Navy Seal world. food show called, ?Big Wang
fighting in an undisclosed Eats.?
location. Ben L ower y still isn?t a
proctor anymore Hance Zhang is studying.
Spencer Dyer is playing pro
Er ic Zhou is playing soccer
in North Korea.

Peter Zhou is still face
timing Andy Su.

05/17/2019 Special Senior Section Page 8

05/17/2019 Special Senior Section Page 9

05/17/2019 Senior Pull-Out Section Page 10


Super latives from the 1928 CS Warrior

Most Popular...................................................................................Hank Pritchard
Most Polite......................................................................................Charles Redhead
Most Original..................................................................................Kobi Selby
Most Inquisitive..............................................................................Ted Peterson
Most Dignified................................................................................Evan Hoyle
Most Ambitious..............................................................................Wyatt Gildea
Most Indifferent..............................................................................Charles Thompson
Most Handsome..............................................................................Borden Sassnet
Most Studious..................................................................................Hance Chen
Most In Love...................................................................................Andrew King
Most Conceited...............................................................................Kevin Snyder
Biggest Lady's Man.........................................................................Zack Grinde
Biggest Lady's Man In His Own Estimation..................................Nick Dee
Biggest Bull Shooter.......................................................................William Dodenhoff
Biggest Sleeper................................................................................James Lilly
Biggest Dumb bell...........................................................................Jay Keligrew
Biggest Tightwad.............................................................................Hunter Tarves
Biggest Dingle Picker......................................................................Thomas Smoots
Biggest Eater....................................................................................Michael Wang
Wittiest.............................................................................................Will Dubose
Wittiest in his own estimation..........................................................Marcus Berger
Best all-around.................................................................................Coles Manning
Best Natured.....................................................................................Mac Gortney
Best All-around Athlete....................................................................Max LeCroy
Best Football Player..........................................................................Keyvaun Cobb
Best Basketball Player.......................................................................Kojack Thompson
Best Baseball Player.........................................................................Chad Treadway
Best Lacrosse Player........................................................................Will McNichols
Best Actor.........................................................................................George Janvier
Neatest...............................................................................................Jack Harrison
Laziest...............................................................................................James Lilly
Most School Spirit...................................................................Ross Oakley/Otto Thom
Hardest Boiled...................................................................................Jacob Dowler

05/17/2019 Feature Page 11

Eli Dowler : I nter national Scholar and Athlete

By Jack Adams '20

For his junior year, next year, Eli Dower Eli Dowler kayaking in dangerous waters.
will be attending World Class Kayaking
Academy. There, Eli will be continuing his high Although he will be spending the next year with but each day is different depending on whether
school education, taking high-rigour classes, twenty to twenty-five other students that he hasn?t the rivers are looking better in the morning or the
while also being able to perfect the craft of met before and going to places that he has never afternoon.
kayaking, meet people from around the world, been before, he remains calm but eager for his
and being able to travel around the Americas journey. Eli departs early September for Canada but will
experiencing different cultures and seeing be back before Christ School graduation. We wish
different geographies. A normal day for Eli next year at the academy him all the best in his year of traveling and
looks like: 6:30 am wake up and workout then learning, and we wait in anticipation for the
The World Class Academy has three different four to five hours of classes and then kayaking, kayaking stories that he brings back.
sub-categories that one can apply to. There are
the kayak academy, kiteboarding academy, and
the climbing academy. Each is a very selective,
respectable institutions for athletics and
academics. The World Class Academy website
states that they believe in and offer ?alternative
education to new heights with a firm belief that
quality education comes from interacting with the
world around us.?

Eli will begin his journey in Canada, then go to
Costa Rica, Chile, and wrap up his travel in the
Northwest United States. When asked what he
hopes to get out of the next year Eli simply said
?the experience of traveling and getting to
experience so many different cultures is what I
know I will get out of it? through the lens of a
river? and ?kayaking on the most coveted places
on earth.?

M r. Auch's L ong Jour ney as a VW Cr uiser

By Sam Br ie '21

Mr. Auch in his classroom constant weeks of 80 plus hours under his opportunity to explore the nation and view
belt began to feel demoralizing. He different states. This past summer Mr. Auch
Mr. Jamie Auch has had an extensive described the feeling of regret, ?I began to visited 12 states, the East Coast, as well as
journey, filled with astonishing feel detached. I looked at myself and said Canada, giving him the chance to see friends
accomplishments, among them, arriving at what am I doing here. This not for me. I he had not seen for 40 years. Mr. Auch
Christ School in 2007. Born and raised in was put on this planet to be a teacher and describes his passion for vans in the
Philadelphia, teaching has been in Mr. Auch?s football coach, just like my father.? following: ?It is a great way for a teacher to
blood throughout his childhood. Both his take his family out on vacation. It gives me
father and mother were teachers at the He decided to return to Washington & Lee the opportunity to travel and meet new people
Episcopal Academy in Philadelphia when he at the age of 30 where he would receive a and old friends.? Each week Mr. Auch and his
growing up. B.A. in Art History and a minor in advisory use his vintage Volkswagen van to
Mathematics. Once his goal was travel for advisee lunch across the Asheville
After high school, Mr. Auch played completed, Mr. Auch began his role as a region.
lacrosse at Washington and Lee University. teacher and since then he has worked in
Unfortunately, the smooth path of success in over seven schools, including Episcopal Mr. Auch has contributed so much to
college turned bumpy. He fell victim to Academy in Philadelphia, Moorestown the school since his arrival in 2007. He has
certain distractions, forcing him to lose his Friends School, Fishburne Military Academy, served as head Varsity Football coach, as well
focus. This ultimately led to him dropping out Blue Ridge School, Haverford School, as Wrestling coach. He currently serves as an
of college at the time. Wakefield School, South Country Day. assistant coach for the JV Lacrosse team. He
Finally, Mr. Auch and his family decided to manages his time between his family and
Once he parted ways with college, he settle down in Asheville, North Carolina. serves as an adjunct in Noland House. Mr.
continued his path and went on to become a Arriving in 2007, Mr. Auch served in the Auch continues to be a role model for many
restaurant coordinator, opening up various Learning Resources department. Twelve years students due to his continuous hard work and
new locations. After several years, he began to later he serves as an Algebra II teacher as well determination.
feel unsatisfied with this line of work. The as a Calculus instructor.
He has been described by his current
Those who know Mr. Auch well and past students as a truthful teacher who
understand his passion for Volkswagen vans will do whatever it takes to reach out to each
and traveling across the country. Mr. Auch?s student with great care and respect. He pushes
first car in high school was a VW bug. Since each of his students to their full potential by
then his passion has grown immensely. At providing them with his best advice and a
Washington & Lee he was given a 1963 Bug sense of awareness. Mr. Auch?s journey has
painted like a zebra. Once he became a been extremely intriguing, filled with some
teacher, his love for busses grew. At Blue bumpy roads, however, he has provided love
Ridge School, he dug out a bus from a yard to his family, students and the Christ School
and rebuilt it in his driveway, naming it community on his journey.
Sparky. This new passion gave him the

05/17/2019 Campus Life Page 12

Dor m Review

By Sam Br ie '20 and Joseph Visconti '20

Young Har r is Noland

Dor m Parents - Dr. Harris, Mr. Martin Dor m Parents - Mr and Mrs. Duhaime, Mr. Dor m Parents - Mr. Dalton, Mr. Luhm , Mr,
and Mr. Uhler Thornbury, Mr. Herman, Mr. Payne Auch, Mr. Tyburski.

Future Senior L eader s Future Senior L eader s Future Senior L eader s

Prefect - Jack Dubose Prefect - Eddie Willis Fleming Prefect - Joseph Coladonato

Proctor s - Jack Fitch, Richard Proctor s - Nathaniel Carson, Jack Sutton, Wyatt Proctor s - Kevin Masson, Jackson Bewley, Kiki
Zantzinger, Davis Warren, Jim Huang Wilson, Jack Slattery Alcime, Thomas Bolick

Pros - Independence, great leadership, in Pros - Relaxed dorm atmosphere, Close to dining Pros - Large, low-key community, close to
proximity of the athletic fields/athletic hall/Wet more athletic complex, and has mostly upperclassman.
complex. An average of all ages found The dorm is near, the baseball field, main lacrosse
through the dorm. Cons - Majority of the student body relax in their field and tennis courts. This offers a wide variety
rooms playing video games. of outdoor activities. Wetmore as well the Dining
Cons - Wetmore, the Dining Hall as Shall are on the other side of campus, far to reach.
well a the Wellness Center are on the * Harris is often composed many international Shares similarities with Young.
other side of campus, far to reach for students. There are young dorm leaders such as Mr.
students taking meds. Herman and Mr. Payne. The Head of House, Mr. Cons - Wetmore, the Dining Hall as well a the
Duhaime, offers great guidance and various activities Wellness Center are on the other side of campus,
* Young House is a highly independent through the year. Each Harris room is composed of far to reach for students taking meds.
dorm. Each year it receives the largest bunk beds. If you are interested in weekends
number of newly added students. Young activities, and more privacy, Harris House is the dorm * Noland shares similar characteristics with
House has a higher ratio of younger for you. Young. The average class of student, varies
students compared to its twin Noland. If between juniors and seniors, with few
you are looking to have more liberty, sophomores. It is a highly independent dorm,
Young House is the dorm for you. which offers various benefits such as great dorm
parents, energetic student body and close
South Carolina proximity to the fields. If you are looking for
independence and a mature dorm, Noland is the
Dor m Parents - Coach Harris, Mr. dorm for you.
Perse, Mr. Brenneman, Mr. Cioce

Future Senior L eader s Harris House Gar dner
Prefect - Thomas McIntosh Dor m Parents - Cameron Hillier, Mike Gardner,
Proctor s - Henry Duggins, Henry Cuningham Micheal Mahoney, and Erik Thorp.
Muller, Connor Hall, Hunter Williams Future Senior L eader s
Pros - Guidance from dorm parents, =Potential Dor m Parents - Mrs. Clay, Mr. Prefect - Ferrail Lail
active dorm meetings, extremely clean Mohney, Mr. Sonneland Proctor s - Joseph Visconti, Andrew Hammel,
and well maintained, offers a wide James Treadaway
student body. Future Senior L eader s Pros - Air conditioning, small close-knit
Cons - Iron fist ruling, dorm meetings community, suites with shared bathrooms, and 70?
every Sunday night. Prefect - Justice Ajogbor and Jack Knott flat screen TV in commons room.
Cons - Small dorm community. Only one dorm
* South Carolina offers independence Proctor s - John Hulsey and William Saye parent iliving n the dorm. Walls are extremely
while also having various dorm parents thin easy to hear neighbors conversation. Four
who will be engaged in your everyday Pros - Extremely clean, students of the same age, students share one bathroom together.
activity. Dorm meetings occur each helps build students up for the future, receive * Gardner presents itself with various benefits.
Sunday. The dorm maintains a clean guidance from seniors and dorm parents. The majority of the dorm are seniors with a few
touch throughout the year. South sophomores. The 70?inch TV, air conditioning in
Carolina has student of all ages through Cons - Lack of maturity, loud and energetic, each dorm, combined showers as well as small
the dorm. impatient, early lights out, less freedom. student body, presents itself as a luxurious dorm.
If you are looking for a quiet dorm, which
South Carolina House * Cuningham is designed for new 8th and 9th presents itself with less privacy, Garden er is theAll dormphoto by Zack Grella
graders. However Cuningham allows returning 8th dorm for you.
graders to stay for their 9th grade year. This offers
young students the opportunity to return for a year Gardner House
with students of their class. It helps hem to build
up relationships, to feel comfortable with students
of their own age, to feel more comfortable around
campus and in future dorms. There is always great
senior leadership and mentorship from dorm

parents helping send students down the right path
of success. Cuningham is know for a lack of
imaturity amongst students. Being that the dorm
population is so young the students struggle to

show respect in certain categories, breaking rules
around the dorm. If you are a returning your
freshman year, Cuningham should be
recommended as it helps gain life skills and help
build relationships with new freshman.

05/17/2019 Culture Page 13


By Alex Xu '19 When it comes to fabrics, choose lighter options like cotton, rayon and
linen. Breathability is key when the sun comes out to play!
Ready, set, summer! It?s time to take the (stylish)
plunge straight into the deep end of this season?s 2. EM BRACE L OOSE, FL OWY STYL ES
fashion dos. Whether it?s swapping out your
go-to tote for a colorful new bag or rethinking Try a fashion-forward ruffled top that slims your body. You can even
your accessories when the temps soar, here are wear it to work topped with a blazer or simple t shirt.
the essential fashion rules of summer that The
Stump fashion crew swear by. 3. WHI TE SNEAK ERS FOR THE WI N

Clean white sneaks are happening this summer? and you can pair
them with everything from jeans to t-shirts to a polo. Stylish and


Good shorts like mesh jersey shorts help you to stay both stylish and
cool during the whole summer. A slightly oversized short can make
you look taller as well.


Summer?s the perfect time to find a new pair of sandals. Slide sandals
are great for their comfort and ease. A bold color adds so much more
style to your step and takes any summer outfit to the next level.


Distressed denim paired with mesh shorts results in a high-low look
that is so fashion. Try your jeans or a pair of bright slides.

Nike air, off-white nylon pants, hat, and a heron preston t shirt. And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the
trees, just as things fast forward in movies, I had that familiar
conviction that the cycle of fashion begins over again with the coming

What to Watch on Netflix

By Jack Adams '20

Sure, Mad Men did air in 2007, in each season this show spans it on Netflix, but it brings a whole American life. If you haven't
which is a long time ago, but the over ten years, covering multiple new element to the small screen, watched it I?d highly recommend
show is still pretty obscure to kids historical events and societal dealing with all aspects of that you do.
our age. Maybe you?ve seen it movements in America at this
floating around on Netflix and time. And the new idea of using
simply didn?t bother, or maybe humor and out of the box
you tried watching and it didn?t thinking to appeal to the
click. Well I am here to say, consumer world, which seems
watch it! very common today.

To say that Mad Men is a Sometimes TV shows fail to keep Fan art of the TV show Mad Men.
critically acclaimed, award an audience interested and
winning show would be an invested past two or three
understatement (see 29 awards seasons, but, coming from
listed above). From the script, to someone who has seen every
the 60?s era costumes, to the season, this show keeps together
actors that play the characters, for all seven. They do this by
Mad Men has something for writing complex, realistic
everybody to enjoy watching. characters, and creating problems
that seem like they have an
The show follows a 60?s era inevitable outcome.
advertising businessman Donald
Draper (Jon Hamm). Trying not Mad Men is also an insight into
to spoil too much of the show- the business world. You get to see
Draper is a very successful at his how the advertising team deals
job but has a less successful with different kinds of clients
relationship with his family life from different businesses, how
and with alcohol, and to say the they pitch their ideas to persuade
least things get interesting. the clients. You also get to see
when they fail and when they
Anyone who has any kind of succeed.
affinity for the 60?s - 70?s in
America will love this show. Man Men is a very famous show
With seven seasons, 14 episodes and for good reason. Not only is

05/17/2019 Culture Page 14

A Community of M usic L istener s

By M ichael Wang '19 and staff

When do you listen to music most often? Where do you listen to
m u sic?
Answered: 99 Skipped: 23

What kind of music do you listen to? Why do you listen to music?

Answered: 100 Skipped: 22 Answered: 100 Skipped: 22

How do you listen to music?

Answered: 100 Skipped: 22

Christ School students are passionate Country music and Rock are close behind, but "Other" are from the day student population.
about music. Evening study hall would be a significant number chose Other, telling us
much more dreary if rules did not allow boys that our community has diverse listening A large percentage of students listen to
to plug into their computers and listen to their tastes. music all day, but most students listen to music
favorite artists as they craft essays and during study halls.
compute their math assignments. Most of the students listen to music
Over a third of the student population
The Stump was curious about the listening because music makes them feel good or they responded to our survey which is a high
habits of their fellow Greenies so a Music percentage. Also, we have often have volunteer
Survey was sent out on May 1st. Roughly 120 have unlisted feelings. Most students submissions for music reviews(see this edition
responses were received and the data analyzed. page 15). This clearly tells us that music is an
Here are the results: listen to music on their headphones and many important part of the daily life of our
The favorite kind of music by the far is ?rich kids? listen to music on their ?Airpods.?
Rap Music with almost 50% of the vote. The Stump thanks all who took the time to
The largest choice of location for complete the survey!
students listening to music at Christ School is

their dorm room. These responders are most
likely boarders. It could be that those choosing

05/17/2019 Culture Page 15

Album in Review: Assume Form by James Blake

By L uke Stone '21

When it comes to the music

industry, it is rare to see people so

exceptional at almost everything they take

a stab at, but when they come up, it is a

sight to see. Whether you?re talking about

Kevin Parker, the lead of critically

acclaimed psychedelic rock group Tame

I mpala, who writes, records, and

produces all the music, or Donald Glover,

the rapper, singer, writer, director, actor,

comedian? we?d be here all day if we

listed out everything Glover has done and

succeeded at. However, there are some

lesser known artists in today?s music

scene that are just as, if not more versatile

than most artists today. At that is where

James Blake comes in.

James Blake

James Blake, a singer, songwriter, lot of haunting vocals to this very spacy message is good, but it?s smacked right
multi-instrumentalist hailing from between ?Can?t Believe the Way We Flow?
London, England, began his career song. This is a good change of pace for and ?Where?s the Catch??, two of the most
making melancholic electronic music with intricately produced songs on the entire
a unique flair to it. His self-titled debut, Metro Boomin as well, as he is usually album, and ?Are You in Love?? seems to
James Blake, released February 2011, and pale in comparison to those two. Once
let the world realize that not only was he behind aggressive trap anthems. A great again, it?s a great song, and on it?s own it?s
articulate producer with a knack for great. But, in the full album listen, it
making complex, experimental tracks, but collaboration overall. I f you listen to one seems to be not as powerful or impactful
he carried with him a soulful voice, which as the other songs. I t would?ve fit so much
was seen with tracks such as ?Limit to song from this album, this is the one (for better at the end of the album with
Your Love? and ?Measurements?. His ?Lullaby for My I nsomniac?, another
popularity grew with his sophomore m or e casual l i st ener s) . minimalistic track that closes the album.
effort, Overgrowth, released April 2013,
with a more accessible sound and the hit As you delve deep into the album, Finally, one of the most
single, ?Retrograde?, which was a unique you seem to realize that most of the songs emotionally hitting songs on the album is
blend between R&B and electronic music, tackle the topic of love. This isn?t new in ?Don?t Miss I t?, a single he released
and it still remains one of Blake?s most the music scene, in fact it?s most common almost half a year before releasing
popular songs. Finally, his third album, of song topics today. However, coming Assume Form. Blake openly reflects back
the Colour in Anything, released May from his melancholic background, this is on his depressed, isolated self before he
2016, returned back to roots with more a different turn for Blake. He explores was with his significant other, and goes
experimental production and long love from different takes, like the song into detail all the things he could avoid by
progressional tracks spanning around the ?Can?t Believe the Way We Flow?, where either ignoring them or just hiding
5 minute mark. he tells the audience that the person he is himself away from people or life in
with is so perfect, he doesn?t believe it to general. I n the climax of the song, he
I explain all this to you to get the be real at points. He counteracts this sings to the audience a foreboding call to
picture in your head that James Blake, topic on another collaboration, ?Where?s not waste their life in their own sorrow
while obviously very talented and with a the Catch??, featuring the legendary and live their life to the fullest, by saying,
core fanbase, has remained quite André 3000 from OutKast fame. On this ?Don?t miss it, don?t miss it like I did.? A
different from his contemporaries with song, Blake questions whether this new phenomenal way to draw to the close of
his difficult to grasp sound and love he has found is too good to be true. the album.
songwriting. However, the experimental To fit the song, he includes a dark grand
nature of Blake?s music almost goes out piano snippet playing through the beat There are many ways to describe
the window with his newest record, and a muddy bass. Thematically, it?s one Assume Form. You could say it?s
Assume Form, released January 2019. of the best songs on the album. masterful in its production and
vocalization. You could say that it?s
On Assume Form, Blake takes a I n the most traditional love song gorgeous because of the beautiful sample
step back from his more complicated on the album, Blake makes it unique with choices and pianos throughout the album.
sound of the past and instead goes for his masterful production. On my personal But here is how I like to describe it:
melodic piano, an elegant and alluring favorite track on the album, ?I ?ll Come vulnerable. James Blake has seemed to
sound, mixed in with the modern trap Too?, Blake sings about loving a person so realize that he is sick and tired of hiding
sounds of today?s popular songs. This is much, they will go everywhere in the himself away from people and the world,
exemplified perfectly on the album?s most world with them, no matter the cost. The and his emotions are all on the table with
popular song, ?Mile Hile? featuring Travis song includes a prevalent sample from this album. His happiness, his joy, his
Scott and Metro Boomin. The track has a Bruno Nicolai: La Contessa, I ncontro sadness, everything is here. This isn?t the
looping, hypnotic synth that plays (1969), which sounds heavenly. That is a most energetic listen you can have, or the
throughout, as a heavy warbling bass perfect way to describe the sound of this most lyrical, but it is the most vulnerable.
drenchs every corner. Blake and Scott album, heavenly with a dash of I f you?re looking for a very chill and
play off of each other very well, adding a t r anqui l i t y. melodic album, this is the one.

The album does have a couple
misses, however. Nothing huge, but
minor mishaps. The song ?Are You in
Love?? is poorly placed on the album. The
production on the song is minimalistic in
design and only includes a high hat, a
kick, some electronics and strings around
the end. The song is well made and the

05/17/2019 Page 16

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