A Light in the attic

ALight in the Attic

Shel Silverstein

A LIGHT IN THE ATTIC
There's a light on in the attic
Though the house is dark and shuttered,
I can see a flickerin' flutter,
And I know what it's about.
There's a light on in the attic.
I can see it from the outside,
And I know you're on the inside . . . lookin' out.
7
HOW MANY, HOW MUCH
How many slams in an old screen door?
Depends how loud you shut it.
How many slices in a bread?
Depends how thin you cut it.

How much good inside a day?
Depends how good you live 'em.
How much love inside a friend?
Depends how much you give 'em.
[illustration: across the foot of pages 8 and 9 is a long row of
all different
kinds of houses: large
and small, apartment houses and
single-family homes,
thin and wide houses.]
[8]
MOON-CATCHIN' NET
I've made me a moon-catchin' net,
And I'm goin' huntin' tonight,
I'll run along swingin' it over my head,
And grab for that big ball of light.

So tomorrow just look at the sky,
And if there's no moon you can bet
I've found what I sought and I finally caught
The moon in my moon-catchin' net.
But if the moon's still shinin' there,
Look close underneath and you'll get
A clear look at me in the sky swingin' free
With a star in my moon-catchin' net.
[illustration: in addition to the row of houses at the bottom,
there is a picture of
a child swinging at the bottom of a long-handled net that has
caught a star.]
[9]
HAMMOCK
Grandma sent the hammock,
The good Lord sent the breeze.
I'm here to do the swinging--

Now, who's gonna move the trees?
13
[illustration on pages 10 and 11: A child (on page 10 at the
bottom of the poem)
is holding one end of a hammock. On page 11, the other
end is attached to one branch of a large tree.]
11
HOW NOT TO HAVE
TO DRY THE DISHES
If you have to dry the dishes
(Such an awful, boring chore)
If you have to dry the dishes
('Stead of going to the store)
If you have to dry the dishes
And you drop one on the floor--
Maybe they won't let you
Dry the dishes anymore.

[illustration: a girl with a lot of black fuzzy hair is holding a
very large plate under her nose and a dish towel in one hand.
A broken plate lies on the floor next to her]

12

STOP THIEF!

Policeman, policeman,

Help me please.

Someone went and stole my knees.

I'd chase him down but I suspect

My feet and legs just won't connect.

[illustration: a large man with spaces between thighs and
boots-- no knees.]

16
Mrs. McTwitter the baby-sitter,

I think she's a little bit crazy.

She thinks a baby-sitter's supposed

To sit upon the baby.

[illustration:

A
large woman with a big puffy hairdo and glasses sitting.
Small feet
are sticking out from under her.
]
14
PRAYER OF THE SELFISH CHILD
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
And if I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my toys to break.
So none of the other kids can use 'em. . . .
Amen.
[Illustration: A child is kneeling by his bed praying, his toys
behind him.]
15

WHAT DID?

What did the carrot say to the wheat?

" 'Lettuce' rest, I'm feeling 'beet.' "

What did the paper say to the pen?

"I feel quite all 'write,' my friend."

What did the teapot say to the chalk?

Nothing, you silly . . . teapots can't talk!

[illustration: A teapot with long legs and feet in men's shoes
faces a tall piece of chalk with shorter legs and women's
shoes.]

18
[illustration: A large carrot with arms and legs, hands and
feet, holding a piece
of wheat is facing a large fountain pen, which is writing I
FEEL ALL WRITE
on a piece of paper.]
17

SHAKING

Geraldine now, stop shaking that cow
For heaven's sake, for your sake and the cow's sake.
That's the dumbest way I've seen
To make a milk shake.
29
[illustration: a small girl is shaking a very large cow]
19
SIGNALS
When the light is green you go.
When the light is red you stop.
But what do you do
When the light turns blue
With orange and lavender spots?
[illustration: a tall traffic light bending slightly.]
20
PICTURE PUZZLE PIECE

One picture puzzle piece
Lyin' on the sidewalk,
One picture puzzle piece
Soakin' in the rain.
It might be a button of blue
On the coat of the woman
Who lived in a shoe.
It might be a magical bean,
Or a fold in the red
Velvet robe of a queen.
It might be the one little bite
Of the apple her stepmother
Gave to Snow White.
It might be the veil of a bride
Or a bottle with some evil genie inside.
It might be a small tuft of hair

On the big bouncy belly
Of Bobo the Bear.
It might be a bit of the cloak
Of the Witch of the West
As she melted to smoke.
It might be a shadowy trace
Of a tear that runs down an angel's face.
Nothing has more possibilities
Than one old wet picture puzzle piece.
[illustration: a single picture puzzle piece]
21
PUT SOMETHING IN
Draw a crazy picture,
Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-gumble song,
Whistle through your comb.

Do a loony-goony dance
'Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain't been there before.
22
MONSTERS I'VE MET
I met a ghost, but he didn't want my head,
He only wanted to know the way to Denver.
I met a devil, but he didn't want my soul,
He only wanted to borrow my bike awhile.
I met a vampire, but he didn't want my blood,
He only wanted two nickels for a dime.
I keep meeting all the right people--
At all the wrong times.
[illustration: a small boy looking at a large genie-type
creature with a devilish

face, but he isn't scar
y]
23
ROCK 'N' ROLL BAND
If we were a rock 'n' roll band,
We'd travel all over the land.
We'd play and we'd sing and wear spangly things,
If we were a rock 'n' roll band.
If we were a rock 'n' roll band,
And we were up there on the stand,
The people would hear us and love us and cheer us,
Hurray for that rock 'n' roll band.
If we were a rock 'n' roll band,
Then we'd have a million fans.
We'd giggle and laugh and sign autographs,
If we were a rock 'n' roll band.

[24]
If we were a rock 'n' roll band,
The people would all kiss our hands.
We'd be millionaires and have extra long hair,
If we were a rock 'n' roll band.
But we ain't no rock 'n' roll band,
We're just seven kids in the sand
With homemade guitars and pails and jars
And drums of potato chip cans.
Just seven kids in the sand,
Talkin' and wavin' our hands,
And dreamin' and thinkin' oh wouldn't it be grand,
If we were a rock 'n' roll band.
[illustration: across the bottom of both pages 24 and 25 are
an assortment of
girls and boys playing a tennis racket like a guitar; ping
pong paddles like

cymbals; a potato chip can like a drum; a brush. They are
sitting on the sand playing like a rock-and-roll band.]

[25]
SOMETHING MISSING
I remember I put on my socks,
I remember I put on my shoes.
I remember I put on my tie
That was painted
In beautiful purples and blues.
I remember I put on my coat,
To look perfectly grand at the dance,
Yet I feel there is something
I may have forgot--
What is it? What is it? . . .
[illustration: a man standing, completely dressed except for
his pants. He's
wearing a cap, a striped tie, a jacket (one hand is in his

jacket pocket,
horizontally striped calf-length socks, and laced shoes)
26
MEMORIZIN' MO
Mo memorized the dictionary
But just can't seem to find a job
Or anyone who wants to marry
Someone who memorized the dictionary.
[illustration: a large open book with a pair of feet sticking out

from under it and hands holding the book open.]
30
[illustration: at the top of the page, a large star with a small

person kneeling on one of the points polishing it]
SOMEBODY HAS TO
Somebody has to go polish the stars,
They're looking a little bit dull.
Somebody has to go polish the stars,

For the eagles and starlings and gulls
Have all been complaining they're tarnished and worn,
They say they want new ones we cannot afford.
So please get your rags
And your polishing jars,
Somebody has to go polish the stars.
28
REFLECTION
Each time I see the Upside-Down Man
Standing in the water,
I look at him and start to laugh,
Although I shouldn't oughtter.
For maybe in another world
Another time
Another town,
Maybe HE is right side up

And I am upside down.

[illustration: a baldheaded person standing in the water
looking at his reflection]

29

FANCY DIVE

The fanciest dive that ever was dove

Was done by Melissa of Coconut Grove.

She bounced on the board and flew into the air

With a twist of her head and a twirl of her hair.

She did thirty-four jackknives, backflipped and spun,

Quadruple gainered, and reached for the sun,

And then somersaulted nine times and a quarter--

And looked down and saw that the pool had no water.

[illustration: at the bottom of this page is a girl in a bathing
suit and bathing cap sitting at the edge of a swimming pool
looking up at the girl on the next page.]

43

[illustration: the diving girl from the poem is in mid-air, all
twisted up,

looking aghast, having just realized there is no water in the
pool]

[31]
HERE COMES
Here comes summer,
Here comes summer,
Chirping robin, budding rose.
Here comes summer,
Here comes summer,
Gentle showers, summer clothes.
Here comes summer,
Here comes summer--
Whoosh--shiver--there it goes.
32
THE DRAGON OF GRINDLY GRUN

I'm the Dragon of Grindly Grun,
I breathe fire as hot as the sun.
When a knight comes to fight
I just toast him on sight,
Like a hot crispy cinnamon bun.
When I see a fair damsel go by,
I just sigh a fiery sigh,
And she's baked like a 'tater--
I think of her later
With a romantic tear in my eye.
I'm the Dragon of Grindly Grun,
But my lunches aren't very much fun,
For I like my damsels medium rare,
And they
always
come out well done.

[illustration: at the bottom of the previous page are the
peaks of a mountain

range. At the side of this page is a large dragon, sitting on a
mountain slope,

with a tear coming down from his eye, looking at a small
woman.]

33

BLAME

I wrote such a beautiful book for you

'Bout rainbows and sunshine

And dreams that come true.

But the goat went and ate it

(You knew that he would),

So I wrote you another one

Fast as I could.

Of course it could never be

Nearly as great

As that beautiful book
That the silly goat ate.
So if you don't like
This new book I just wrote--
Blame the goat.
[illustration: A satisfied-looking large goat sitting on his
haunches. In front of
him is a fairly big book with a bite taken out of it.]
34
MESSY ROOM
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.
His workbook is wedged in the window,
His sweater's been thrown on the floor.
His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV,

And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.

His books are all jammed in the closet,

His vest has been left in the hall.

A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed,

And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.

Whosever room this is should be ashamed!

Donald or Robert or Willie or--

Huh? You say it's mine? Oh dear,

I knew it looked familiar!

[illustration: a bunch of stuff going from along the bottom of
the page up the

right-hand side to the coat hanging on a hook. There are a
nose-and-glasses; binoculars; bottle with straw; boot; drum;
long-necked banjo; baseball bat and glove; apple core; shoe;
opened book; clock; playing card.

35

NEVER

I've never roped a Brahma bull,
I've never fought a duel,
I've never crossed the desert
On a lop-eared, swayback mule,
I've never climbed an idol's nose
To steal a curs d jewel.
I've never gone down with my ship
Into the bubblin' brine,
I've never saved a lion's life
And then had him save mine,
Or screamed Ahoooo while swingin' through
The jungle on a vine.
I've never dealt draw poker
In a rowdy lumber camp,
Or got up at the count of nine
To beat the world's champ,

I've never had my picture on
A six-cent postage stamp.
I've never scored a touchdown
On a ninety-nine-yard run,
I've never winged six Daltons
With my dying brother's gun . . .
Or kissed Miz Jane, and rode my hoss
Into the setting sun.
Sometimes I get so depressed
'Bout what I haven't done.
36
DAYAFTER HALLOWEEN
Skeletons, spirits and haunts,
Skeletons, spirits and haunts.
It's a halloween sale:
A nickel a pail

For skeletons, spirits and haunts.

Skeletons, spirits and haunts,

More than most anyone wants.

Will you pay for a shock,

'Cause we're overstocked

On skeletons, spirits and haunts.

[illustration: A short person wearing a large pointed hat has
her mouth wide

open calling out her wares. In her hands are heads on tall
sticks: a round

head with one eye; an elongated, bald head; a skeleton
head; and a bald head

with a large nose, bared teeth, eyelashes, moustache and
scraggly beard.]

37
WAVY HAIR

I thought that I had wavy hair

Until I shaved. Instead,

I find that I have
straight
hair
And a very wavy head.
[illustration: A man with a hairless, bumpy head is looking
into a hand-held mirror]
38
LONGMOBILE
It's the world's longest car, I swear,
It reaches from Beale Street to Washington Square.
And once you get in it
To go where you're going,
You simply get out, 'cause you're there.
[illustration: the front part of a very long car. The rest of the
car extends across
the bottom of the preceding page]
39

BACKWARD BILL
Backward Bill, Backward Bill,
He lives way up on Backward Hill,
Which is really a hole in the sandy ground
(But that's a hill turned upside down).
Backward Bill's got a backward shack
With a big front porch that's built out back.
You walk through the window and look out the door
And the cellar is up on the very top floor.
Backward Bill he rides like the wind
Don't know where he's going but sees where he's been.
His spurs they go "neigh" and his horse it goes "clang,"
And his six-gun goes "gnab," it never goes "bang."
Backward Bill's got a backward pup,
They eat their supper when the sun comes up,
And he's got a wife named Backward Lil,

"She's my own true hate," says Backward Bill.
Backward Bill wears his hat on his toes
And puts on his underwear over his clothes.
And come every payday he pays his boss,
And rides off a-smilin' a-carryin' his hoss.
44
[illustration: A man sitting backward on a horse. A boot,
turned backward, is sitting on his head. The horse is branded
with 2 backward capital letter B's.
]
[41]
MR. SMEDS AND MR. SPATS
Mr. Spats
Had twenty-one hats,
And none of them were the same.
And Mr. Smeds
Had twenty-one heads

And only one hat to his name.
[illustration: along the bottom of this page and the next is a
row of various kinds
of buildings, short and tall, narrow and wide, each with a lot
of windows. A short moustached man in an overcoat is walkin
g
toward the facing page. On his head
are 21 hats of various kinds]
[42]
Now, when Mr. Smeds
Met Mr. Spats,
They talked of the
Buying and selling of hats.
And Mr. Spats
Bought
Mr. Smeds'
hat!

Did you ever hear anything

Crazier than that?

[illustration: a man with 21 heads, each with a different kind
of expression (some look grouchy, some happy, some
surprised), is walking toward the preceding page. The head
on top is wearing a hat.]

[43]

SNAKE PROBLEM

It's not that I don't care for snakes,

But oh what do you do

When a 24-foot python says . . .

[illustration: at the bottom of page 44, stretching into page
45, a long python is twisted into the words I love you. He's
looking at a little boy. The boy is standing with his hands
clasped behind his back looking as if he doesn't know what to
do.]

54

[illustration of the poem on page 47: a large bear sitting in
the refrigerator; the

boy is peering from behind the open door. There are grapes

and a broken dish
with spilled liquid on the floor. The fridge is full of food.]
BEAR IN THERE
There's a Polar Bear
In our Frigidaire--
He likes it 'cause it's cold in there.
With his seat in the meat
And his face in the fish
And his big hairy paws
In the buttery dish,
He's nibbling the noodles,
He's munching the rice,
He's slurping the soda,
He's licking the ice.
And he lets out a roar
If you open the door.

And it gives me a scare
To know he's in there--
That Polary Bear
In our Fridgitydaire.
55
SUPERSTITIOUS
If you are superstitious you'll never step on cracks.
When you see a ladder you will never walk beneath it.
And if you ever spill some salt you'll throw some 'cross your
back,
And carry 'round a rabbit's foot just in case you need it.
You'll pick up any pin that you find lying on the ground,
And never, never, ever throw your hat upon the bed,
Or open an umbrella when you are in the house.
You'll bite your tongue each time you say
A thing you shouldn't have said.

You'll hold your breath and cross your fingers
Walkin' by a graveyard,
And number thirteen's never gonna do you any good.
Black cats will all look vicious, if you're superstitious,
But I'm not superstitious (knock on wood).
[illustration at top of page: a hand with very long fingers, one
entwined around
the other.]
56
Oh, the blithery, blathery pirate
(His name, I believe, is Claude),
His manner is sullen and irate,
And his humor is vulgar and broad.
He has often been known to imprison
His friends in the hold dark and dank,
Or lash them up high on the mizzen,
Or force them to stroll down a plank.

He will selfishly ask you to dig up
Some barrels of ill-gotten gold,
And if you so much as just higgup,
He'll leave you to fill up the hole.
He may cast you adrift in a rowboat
(He has no reaction to tears)
Or put you ashore without NO boat
On an island and leave you for years.
He's a rotter, a wretch and a sinner,
He's foul as a fellow can be,
But if you invite him to dinner,
Oh, please sit him next to me!
[illustration: at the top of the page, a pirate's head - hat with
skull and
crossbones, large pointed nose, long bushy beard]
49

HURK
I'd rather play tennis than go to the dentist.
I'd rather play soccer than go to the doctor.
I'd rather play Hurk than go to work.
Hurk? Hurk? What's Hurk?
I don't know, but it must be better than work.
50
ANCHORED
Our anchor's too big for our ship,
So we're sittin' here tryin' to think.
If we leave it behind we'll be lost.
If we haul it on board, we will sink.
If we sit and keep talkin' about it,
It will soon be too late for our trip.
It sure can be rough on a sailor
When the anchor's too big for the ship.

[illustration: a boy and 2 girls are sitting in a boat. The boy is
holding a rope attached to a very large anchor, which is
resting on the bottom of the lake

under the water. The water and sandy bottom extend from
page 50. In the

water next to the boat is a little fish. The boat is near the
shore.]

51

UNSCRATCHABLE ITCH

There is a spot that you can't scratch

Right between your shoulder blades,

Like an egg that just won't hatch

Here you set and there it stays.

Turn and squirm and try to reach it,

Twist your neck and bend your back,

Hear your elbows creak and crack,

Stretch your fingers, now you bet it's

Going to reach--no that won't get it--

Hold your breath and stretch and pray,
Only just an inch away,
Worse than a sunbeam you can't catch
Is that one spot that
You can't scratch.
[illustration: a man with his hands twisted around trying to
scratch his back]
52
SQUISHY TOUCH
Everything King Midas touched
Turned to gold, the lucky fellow.
Every single thing I touch
Turns to raspberry Jell-O.
Today I touched the kitchen wall (squish),
I went and punched my brother Paul (splish).
I tried to fix my bike last week (sploosh),

And kissed my mother on the cheek (gloosh).
I got into my overshoes (sklush),
I tried to read the Evening News (smush),
I sat down in the easy chair (splush),
I tried to comb my wavy hair (slush).
I took a dive into the sea (glush)--
Would you like to shake hands with me (sklush)?
[illustration: a little girl with curly hair looking up, as if talking
to the reader. She is standing in what looks like a pile of suds.
Behind her, in the suds, is a woman's face, a leg sticking up, a
bike wheel, a shovel, and the back of a chair.
]
53
IMPORTNT?
Said little a to big G,
"Without me,
The sea would be

The se,
The flea would be
The fle.
And earth and heaven couldn't be
Without me."
Said big G to little a,
"Even the se
Could crsh nd spry,
Nd the fle would fly
In the sme old wy,
Nd erth nd heven still would be,
Without thee."
[illustration: A very big capital G talking to a smaller lower
case a ]
54
THUMB FACE

There is a face upon my thumb--
I did not paint it there--
With pointy ears and winky eyes
And greenish bristly hair.
I keep it hidden from my friends
So that they will not stare.
It has a little twisty mouth,
And yellow teethies, too.
It snickers when I hold my fork,
It giggles when I'm blue,
And laughs and laughs and laughs
At everything I try to do.
[illustration: a very large hand with a thumb with a face on it
looking at the
other four fingers]
55
HOMEWORK MACHINE

The Homework Machine, oh the Homework Machine,

Most perfect contraption that's ever been seen.

Just put in your homework, then drop in a dime,

Snap on the switch, and in ten seconds' time,

Your homework comes out, quick and clean as can be.

Here it is--"nine plus four?" and the answer is "three."

Three?

Oh me . . .

I guess it's not as perfect

As I thought it would be.

[illustration on pages 56 & 57: a boy at the bottom of page
56 is holding a piece

of paper that's coming out of a very large machine, shaped
like a right triangle,

inside of which are many gears, pulleys, etc., and another
boy sitting inside

writing on a piece of paper.]

69
[illustration: 8 balloons with strings hanging down floating]
EIGHT BALLOONS
Eight balloons no one was buyin'
All broke loose one afternoon.
Eight balloons with strings a-flyin',
Free to do what they wanted to.
One flew up to touch the sun--POP!
One thought highways might be fun--POP!
One took a nap in a cactus pile---POP!
One stayed to play with a careless child--POP!
One tried to taste some bacon fryin'--POP!
One fell in love with a porcupine--POP!
One looked close in a crocodile's mouth--POP!
One sat around 'til his air ran out--WHOOSH!
Eight balloons no one was buyin'--

They broke loose and away they flew,
Free to float and free to fly
And free to pop where they wanted to.
58
ATIONS
If we meet and I say, "Hi,"
That's a salutation.
If you ask me how I feel,
That's consideration.
If we stop and talk awhile,
That's a conversation.
If we understand each other,
That's communication.
If we argue, scream and fight,
That's an altercation.
If later we apologize,

That's reconciliation.
If we help each other home,
That's cooperation.
And all these ations added up
Make civilization.
(And if I say this is a wonderful poem,
Is that exaggeration?)
[illustration: a girl and a boy bowing to each other]
59
MUSICAL CAREER
She wanted to play the piano,
But her hands couldn't reach the keys.
When her hands could finally reach the keys,
Her feet couldn't reach the floor.
When her hands could finally reach the keys,
And her feet could reach the floor,

She didn't want to play that ol' piano anymore.

[illustration: a girl with long, stringy hair sitting on a piano
stool in front of an upright piano. Her fingers are on the keys
but her feet are dangling. A piece of piano music is propped
in front of her, a little too high for her to see. On top of

the piano is a plant.]
60

ANTEATER

"A genuine anteater,"

The pet man told my dad.

Turned out, it was an aunt eater,

And now my uncle's mad!

[illustration: an anteater looking at a pair of high-heeled
shoes with straps.]

61

BUCKIN' BRONCO

Can you ride the buckin' bronco?

Can you stay in that ol' saddle

Till your teeth begin to rattle?
Can you whoop and bounce
And stick upon his back?
Can you ride the buckin' bronco
While he's snortin' smoke and kickin'
And your stomach starts to sicken
And you feel as though
Your spine's about to crack?
62
I can ride the buckin' bronco,
I'll just sit up here and whistle
Till his strength begins to fizzle
And he knows that I'm
His master finally.
Yes I'll tame the buckin' bronco,
You can see me settin' easy.

Here's the buckin' bronco,

Here is me.

[illustration on pages 62 and 63: on the outside edges of
both pages, near the bottom, are people in stands at a rodeo
cheering. In the center is a large bucking bronco. At the edge
of p. 63, near the top, is a pair of booted feet, horizontal,
indicating that the rider has been thrown off the bronco. There
is an arrow from

the line Here is me pointing to the feet.]

63

SNAP!

She was opening up her umbrella,

She thought it was going to rain,

When we all heard a snap

Like the clap of a trap

And we never have seen her again.

[illustration: a closed umbrella with a pair of feet sticking out
from it.]

64

OVERDUES
What do I do?
What do I do?
This library book is 42
Years overdue.
I admit that it's mine
But I can't pay the fine--
Should I turn it in
Or hide it again?
What do I do?
What do I do?
[illustration: a man looking very confused, hugging a book to
his chest.]
65
WILD STRAWBERRIES
Are Wild Strawberries really wild?

Will they scratch an adult, will they snap at a child?
Should you pet them, or let them run free where they roam?
Could they ever relax in a steam-heated home?
Can they be trained to not growl at the guests?
Will a litterbox work or would they leave a mess?
Can we make them a Cowberry, herding the cows,
Or maybe a Muleberry pulling the plows,
Or maybe a Huntberry chasing the grouse,
Or maybe a Watchberry guarding the house,
And though they may curl up at your feet oh so sweetly,
Can you ever feel that you trust them completely?
Or should we make a pet out of something less scary,
Like the Domestic Prune or the Imported Cherry,
Anyhow, you've been warned and I will not be blamed
If your Wild Strawberry cannot be tamed.
[illustration: a very large strawberry with short legs and sharp