Ivy + Bean No News Is Good News (Book 8)

101

“Deadlines,” said Bean, trying to look
like she wished she could hear his song.
“Got to go!”
“Say we’ll play for parties,” he yelled after
them as they went down the driveway.
“Dude! Trust me!” said Bean, waving.
“Wow, you can really talk teenager,”
said Ivy.
“Anyone can do it,” said Bean modestly.
“You just have to practice.”
It was getting late. “We’d better go to your
house and get started,” Ivy said to Bean. She
thought for a moment. “You don’t think your
dad ate the cheese, do you?”
Bean shook her head. “He wouldn’t do
that.” She looked worried. “At least, I don’t
think so.”
“Grown-ups like cheese,” Ivy said.
“We’d better work fast.”

102



THE PANCAKE FLIPS

They wrote The Flipping Pancake until it was
time for Ivy to go home for dinner. The next
day after school, they rushed home to finish it.
By the time they were done, Bean’s kitchen
table was covered with paper, pencils, scis-
sors, erasers, glue sticks, and mess-ups. In the
middle of the table was one perfect copy of
The Flipping Pancake.



^ Fl\^3

Coj^'^ecret '

G^^^T^7

^y W)S T

SV0NY

Ivy and Bean looked at it admiringly. It
was beautiful. At the top, Bean had drawn a
pancake with little lines coming out of it to
show that it was jumping in the air. Around
the pancake, she had written in her best

106

printing The Fliping Pancake. So what if she
had forgotten the other P? It still looked great.
Below the title was the first story, the one
about the rats and salami in Mr. Columbi’s
house. Ivy had decided it was mean to say he
was dirty, so she had called it “Mr. Columbi’s
Secret.”
After that came Guess the Naked Baby.
They had pasted the picture of Crummy Matt
to the paper. There he was, drooling and
smiling on a white rug, his rear end waving
in the air. Ivy and Bean had almost stopped
laughing about it by now. But not quite.
Bean had drawn a picture of Sophie’s mom
with her hair in a bag and blue goo on her face.
Beneath it, she had written, “Mrs. W. is up
to something!” That was really all she could
say, since she didn’t know what Sophie’s mom
was doing.

107

Together Ivy and
Bean had written the
exciting story about
the fire at Trevor and
Ruby’s. In fact, they
made it a little more
exciting than it really

had been. They said the
entire backyard burst into
flames. They also said that Ruby had saved
Trevor’s life by running over flames to get the
hose. “People like to read exciting stories,”
Bean said.
Down at the very bottom of the page, Ivy
had written about Ball Control. She said that
they were famous for “Lizard Hurricane,” and
if you wanted to drown out a loud noise, you
could ask them over to your house for a party.

108

The story looked a little skimpy, so she also
wrote that there were no bad words in their
songs. She said that a lot of the other music
that Jake the Teenager listened to had bad
words in it. She put down the first letter of the
really amazingly bad word they had heard.
Then she drew an arrow and wrote, “Not in
Ball Control songs!”
There had been just enough room to
squeeze in a weather report down at the
bottom. Bean had drawn a picture of the
sun.
“Wow,” said Ivy. “I can’t believe we made
such a great paper. It looks so real.”
“We could get famous for this,” said Bean.
“I mean”—she picked up the paper—“not
many kids could do a whole newspaper all by
themselves.”

109

Ivy nodded. “Let’s copy it on my mom’s
copier,” she said. “Do you think we should
give a copy to Sophie W.’s mom, even if she
didn’t pay for it? You know, because she’s
in it?”
“No way!” said Bean.
“But she might give us money when she
sees how great it is,” Ivy explained.
“Oh. Right,” said Bean. “Yeah. Also we
have to make one for my dad, so he’ll give us
our cheese back.”
“He’s going to be surprised,” said Ivy.
Bean nodded. “They’re all going to be
surprised.”

++++++
And they were surprised, but not exactly in
the way that Ivy and Bean had imagined.
After they delivered The Flipping Pancake
to Jean, Jake the Teenager’s dad, Ruby and

110

Trevor’s mom, Liana
and Katy’s father, Dino
and Crummy Matt’s

mom, Mrs. W., and Mr.
Columbi, they brought
a copy to Bean’s dad.
He was on the living room
couch, reading a magazine.
“Here,” said Bean. “Can
we have our cheese now?”
“You just hang on to your engines, kiddo,”
he said. He put down his magazine and picked
up The Flipping Pancake. “If I see that you two
put real work into it, you can have your cheese.
There are standards that you have to—” He
stopped talking and made a funny sound.
“Which one are you reading?” asked Ivy.
“Mr. Columbi’s Secret,” he said, but his
voice was funny. He was snorting. Or choking.

111

Or something. “Is that Matt?” he asked in a
strangled voice. “Does he know?”
Bean looked at Ivy and shrugged. “Prob-
ably, by now.”
Her father wasn’t paying attention. “What
is this picture of Sheila?” That was Mrs. W.’s
name. “What’s she doing?”

112

“Got me,” said Bean. “She was painting her
hair. I don’t know what she had on her face.”
He read on. “The twins set their yard on
fire? When? Does their mom know?”
“Oh sure. She was there,” said Bean.
Bean’s dad stopped reading and frowned.
“How did you get all this, anyway?”
Bean put her hands on her hips. “Look. We
did exactly what you told us to do. We went
out and found the story.”
He opened his mouth but he didn’t say
anything. For a second, he just stared at her.
And then he started laughing. He laughed
really, really hard. He almost fell off the couch.
“You do that, too,” said Ivy.
“I know. I inherited it,” said Bean. They
watched Bean’s dad laugh for a while, and
then Bean said again, “Can we have our
cheese now?”

113

“What?” Dad said, wiping his eyes.
She said it again, loudly.
“Lowfat Belldeloon cheese in a special
just-for-you serving size,” said Ivy, in case he
had forgotten.
He was still laughing a little, but he got
up. “It’s all yours, girls. You have earned your
cheese.” He walked toward the kitchen.
“We won!” whispered Ivy and Bean
together as they followed.
“Now, kids,” said Bean’s
dad, handing them their little
red bags of cheese. “Even
though I think The Flipping—
Flipping—” he started laughing
again and covered his eyes.
“The Flipping Pancake is a
masterpiece, but it just might
be too, um, powerful for

114

some people. Maybe Sheila wouldn’t like
people to know that she paints her hair. For
example.”
“But she does,” said Bean, carefully
selecting the best ball of cheese.
“But maybe she wouldn’t want other
people to know that,” he said. “So maybe we
should just keep The Flipping Pancake here

inside our own house.”
  Ivy and Bean looked at
each other. Grown-ups were
so weird. “We already made
copies and delivered them,”
Bean said. “You said we took

their money and we had to
deliver what we promised. So
we did.”
The doorbell rang.



115

THE WHOLE BALL OF WAX

An hour later, Ivy and Bean were lying on
Bean’s trampoline, squishing their beautiful
red wax. Squish, squish, squish.
They had come outside when the kitchen
got too crowded with grown-ups. Ruby and
Trevor’s mom had made them promise
never to show The Flipping Pancake to
Ruby and Trevor’s dad. Mrs. W. had
stopped by with a dollar for her
copy, just like Ivy had expected.



But she had also asked them to stop looking
in her window. Mr. Columbi did, too. And
Crummy Matt’s mom had actually wanted his
photo back again. She had even paid for it.
“Two dollars, just to get a picture back.”
Ivy shook her head. “Doesn’t seem worth it
to me.”
“She’s his mom,” said Bean. “She probably
thinks it’s cute. I think she’s mad at Dino,
though.”
“Ruby and Trevor are grounded, their mom
said.” Ivy frowned. “But if you’re at home all
the time anyway, how can you tell?”
“I don’t know,” said Bean.
For a while, they lay peacefully on the
trampoline, squishing their wax.
Then Bean sat up. Something was shuffling
on the other side of her fence. “Do you hear
that?” Bean whispered.

118

“What?” whispered Ivy. Then she heard it.
“Is it a bear?” She hoped it was.
It wasn’t a bear. It was whispering. Ivy
and Bean slid quietly off the trampoline and
tiptoed toward the fence. There was a lot of
shuffling going on out there. And a grunt.
The grunt sounded familiar. It was Crummy
Matt’s grunt.
“I’ll get ’em,” he was saying. He was talking
as softly as he could, but that wasn’t very soft.
Ivy bugged her eyes at Bean. Get ’em?
What did that mean? It sounded bad.
“No,” whispered a voice that sounded like
Dino. “You grab them and I’ll get ’em. But we
got to go quick, because Mom’s going to find
out we’re gone pretty soon.”
There was that stuff about
getting them again. Yikes,
Bean mouthed to Ivy.

119

  “I brought blue paint,”
whispered another voice. “If
you hold them, I’ll paint
them.” That sounded
like Sophie W. Like a
mad Sophie W.

120

Blue paint? Ivy put her hands over her
cheeks. A blue face would be okay, but not a
blue face painted by a mad person.
“Okay. You have a camera?” It sounded
like Trevor.
“Trevor, give me that magnifying glass.
You can’t light them on fire.” Ruby’s voice
was very high and squeaky.
Bean grabbed Ivy’s arm and yanked. Time
for a getaway. But where? For a second, they
just zipped wildly around the yard.
“Who says I can’t?” Trevor snarled. “We’re
grounded already!”
“Trevor, give it here!”
“Shhh! They’ll hear!” said Sophie W.
Ivy looked at Bean. Inside, she mouthed.
No. Wait, mouthed Bean. She held up her
wax. Quickly, she squished it flat and stuck
it under her nose. Then she lay down next to

121

the trampoline. Come on, she beckoned to Ivy.
Then she closed her eyes.
“Come on!” grunted Matt. The gate latch
rattled. They were coming in.
Ivy smashed her wax flat against her
forehead and dropped to the ground next to
Bean with her eyes closed.
The gate opened and banged shut.
“Whoa!” said Trevor.
“Oh my gosh!” whispered Sophie W.
“What happened to them?” Dino said. “Is
that blood?”
“Uh,” grunted Crummy Matt. “I gotta go.”
There was the sound of the gate opening
and closing again.
“They must have fallen off that trampo-
line,” Ruby whispered.
“Maybe they’re only fainted,” said Sophie.
“We could check,” said Ruby.

122

They didn’t.
“Should we tell the
grown-ups?” Dino
asked quietly.
There was a
long silence.
Then Sophie
W. sighed. “Okay.
I’ll do it.”
“Let’s go,” said Dino.
The gate banged again.
Footsteps went away,
down the driveway.
Bean opened one eye. “They’re gone,” she
whispered. She peeled the wax from her lip
and nudged Ivy. “Pretty good, huh?”
Ivy giggled. “They thought we were dead!”
She took the wax off her forehead. “I love
this stuff!”

123

124

From far away inside the house, they heard
the doorbell ring, but they didn’t answer it.
They knew who it was, and besides, they
were busy jumping.
A second later, they heard the sound of
Bean’s dad running. They watched as he flew
out the back door and skidded across the
porch. “Are you okay?” he yelled.
Ivy and Bean stopped jumping. “We’re
fine,” said Bean.
“Sophie said you were hurt,” he panted.
“Oh, that Sophie,” said Ivy. “She was
probably just joking.”
“No,” he began. And then he stopped and
frowned. “Do you think this has something to
do with The Flipping Pancake?”
Bean and Ivy looked at each other and
then back at Bean’s dad. They made their
eyes big. “How could it?” Ivy asked.

125

“Dad,” said Bean. “Thanks for giving us
the idea to do a newspaper. It was really fun.”
He coughed. “Any time. I’m full of good
ideas.”
Bean reached into her pocket and pulled
out a circle of cheese. It was a little bit fuzzy.
“Here.” She held it out to her dad. “This is
your thank-you present.”
“You can have mine, too,” said Ivy.
“What?” said Bean’s dad. “I thought you
loved this cheese.”
“Nah,” said Bean.
“Actually,” said Ivy, “the cheese is kind of
gross.”
“But you might like it,” said Bean.
Bean’s dad turned around and walked into
the house without saying a word.
“What’s the matter with him?” whis-
pered Ivy.

126

Bean shrugged. “Maybe he’s tired.” She
set the circle of cheese on the edge of the
trampoline and held up her wax. So did Ivy.
Squish, squish, squish.
The End

127

IVY + +BEAN

BOOK 9

128

SNEAK PREVIEW OF BOOK 9

IVY + BEAN

MAKE THE RULES

“Girls are strong! Girls are great!” sang
Nancy, boinging into the kitchen. “Girls have
the power to cre-ate!” She stomped her foot
and put one arm in the air. “At GIRL POWER
FOREVER!”
“Stop singing that song,” said Bean
grumpily. She sucked the milk out of her
spoon. Then she slurped down the cereal that
was left behind.
Nancy watched. “That’s got to be the
slowest way to eat cereal in the entire world.”
“I know,” said Bean, slurping. “That’s why
I do it. To make it last longer.”
“Well, cut it out,” Nancy said. “I have to
get to camp. Today’s the first day!”

129

As if Bean didn’t know that already. Camp,
camp, camp. Nancy had been talking about it
for weeks. And there it was, right on her T-shirt,
in big letters: Girl Power 4-Ever! For spring
break, Nancy was going to Girl Power 4-Ever
Camp. Bean was too young for Girl Power
4-Ever Camp. You had to be eleven. If you
were seven, like some people, the only camp
you could go to was Puppet Fun! Bean would
never in a million years go to Puppet Fun!
Nancy dropped her backpack on the
kitchen table and opened one of its many
pockets. Nancy’s backpack was a fancy
zebra-striped kind. There was a tiny troll
doll attached to one of its zippers. Bean’s
backpack was dirty and orange, and she had
tried to draw an eagle on the front, but it
hadn’t turned out right. It looked like a slug
with wings.

130

Nancy pulled out her special folding
brush and brushed her already-brushed hair.
Without even looking, she made a ponytail
and fixed it with a sparkly scrunchie. “Hurry
up,” she said to Bean. “Just eat it.”
Bean took a long, slow slurp. “I don’t see
why I have to hurry,” she said. “I’m not going
to your old camp.”
“You can go when you’re eleven,” Nancy
said.
Bean scowled. “No way! Camp? Ha! Not
for me.” She shook her head. “I’ve got too
much other stuff to do.”
Nancy smiled. “What kind of stuff?”
Bean shook her head like she had so much to
do that she couldn’t even begin to tell about it.
Nancy patted her shoulder sympathetically.
“Finish your cereal. You have to go with Mom
to drop me off at camp.”

131

“Stop feeling sorry for me,” snapped Bean.
But Nancy had already left the room, her
ponytail swishing, on her way to have secret,
big-kid fun that Bean wasn’t allowed to have.
Bean pushed out her chair and stood up. “I’m
not a baby, you know,” she yelled.

***

Five million girls in pink Girl Power 4-Ever
shirts were squirming around outside the
Youth Center, waiting for camp to begin.
They hugged each other and squealed. They
showed each other their cell phones. They
sang. They danced. They giggled. They were
all bouncy and happy and busy.
Bean stood beside her mother. Unbouncy,
unhappy, unbusy. She watched as Nancy
rushed to her friend, Didi. Once they had
hugged and squealed, they gave each other

132

piggyback rides. Then they traded scrunchies
and squealed some more. Then someone blew
a whistle, and all five million girls swarmed
into the Youth Center.
“Bye, Mom!” called Nancy, swinging her
backpack over her shoulder. “Bye, Beanie!”
Beanie? Phooey. Bean turned and began to
trudge home beside her mother. At least she
didn’t have to trudge far. The Youth Center
was a big shed on the edge of Monkey Park,
just a block and a half from Bean’s house.
“What’s that camp about, anyway?” Bean
asked. Not that she cared.
Her mom stopped and rattled around
in her purse. “I’ve got a brochure in here
somewhere,” she said. “Oh. Here it is.” She
pulled out a pink sheet of paper with daisies
on it.
Bean read:

133

GIRL POWER 4-EVER!

A Week of Inspiration and Fun for Girls!

Ages 11–14

Crafts ★ Nature Study ★ Mind/Body Strength Training
Drama ★ First Aid ★ Dance ★ Social Skills

PLUS! OUR ROLE MODELS:
GREAT WOMEN OF HISTORY

Hands-on learning in a safe and supportive atmosphere!
(snacks provided)

Her mom smiled at her. “You wish you were
going to camp, too, don’t you?”
Bean was getting ding-dang tired of people
looking at her sympathetically. “No!” And she
didn’t. Not really.
“I can still get you into Puppet Fun!” her
mom said.
“No!” Bean yelled. “I’ve got too much to
do. Ivy and I have important plans for this
week.”

134

Her mother stopped walking and crouched
down to look in Bean’s eyes. “Okay. You’re
probably too grown-up for Puppet Fun!
anyway. You’re getting to be a pretty big
kid.” Bean nodded. She was. Her mom went
on, “I think you might be old enough to do
something new.”
“You’re going to get me a dirt bike?!” Bean
broke in.
Her mom laughed. “No. I wasn’t thinking
of a dirt bike. I was thinking that maybe you
were big enough to come here to Monkey
Park by yourself, if you come with Ivy and if
it’s okay with Katrine.” Katrine was Ivy’s mom.
Bean sighed inside herself and turned to
look at Monkey Park. Its real name was Mrs.
Taylor Hopper Ansuch Memorial Park, but
everybody called it Monkey Park because
it had a fountain with a statue of a smiling

135

monkey in the middle. The monkey was
dressed in a shiny blue suit, and he held a
big, shiny platter of oranges and grapes. The
fountain water spurted out of his hat. Besides
the fountain, Monkey Park had one big flat
field and one not-so-flat field and a playground
filled with babies. There were some trees and
some bushes and some flowers.
Kids played soccer at Monkey Park.
Families had picnics there. Babies crawled up
the play structure. Nothing exciting had ever
happened in Monkey Park. Going to Monkey
Park was the opposite of going to Girl Power
4-Ever Camp. But Bean knew her mother was
trying to be nice, so she nodded. “Okay.”

136

They walked home. As they climbed the
front stairs, Bean’s mom said, “You can always
help with the dishes, if you’re looking for
something to do. Big kids help.”
“Sorry,” said Bean. “I’m only seven.”

137

THE SECOND AND ALSO REALLY GOOD

IVY + BEAN QUIZ!

OOOH, IT’S ANOTHER CHANCE TO TEST YOUR IVY-
AND-BEANINESS! IF YOU HAVE READ ALL THE IVY AND
BEAN BOOKS CAREFULLY, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO ANSWER
THE QUESTIONS BELOW CORRECTLY. AND IF YOU HAVEN’T—

GO LOOK AT THE ANSWER KEY! QUICK!

1. What do Ivy and Bean use 4. Nancy’s meanest friend is
to make An Oath of Liquids? named . . .
(Hint: Ivy and Bean and the Ghost
That Had to Go) (Hint: Ivy and Bean: What’s the
Big Idea?)
a) Apple juice
b) Red glitter glue a) Mischa
c) Spit b) Didi
d) Blood c) Spud
d) Xlljablx

2. What did Bean write on the 5. When it’s rug time in
Undershirt of Freedom? Ms. Aruba-Tate’s class, all
(Hint: Ivy and Bean Take the kids want to sit on . . .
Care of the Babysitter) (Hint: Ivy and Bean:
What’s the Big Idea?)
a) Yikes!
b) Save Me! a) Each other
c) Whoa, Nellie! b) The red circle
d) SOS c) Colorado
d) Q
3. When she goes to the Aquarium,
Zuzu’s favorite animal is the . . . 6. Ivy and Bean don’t get to be
(Hint: Ivy and Bean: in Giselle. They have to be
Doomed to Dance)
in a ballet called . . .
a) Sea star (Hint: Ivy and Bean: Doomed to
b) Penguin Dance)
c) Alligator
d) Shark a) The Jolly Puppets of Doctor
Hortensio

138

b) A Candy Wonderland 10. Ivy’s mom puts something
c) Wedding Beneath the Sea weird on her face. What is it?
d) The Bravest Butterfly (Hint: Ivy and Bean: Bound to
Be Bad)
7. Lowfat Belldeloon cheese in a) A hot, wet towel
a special just-for-you serving size b) Egg yolks
costs . . . c) A shoelace
(Hint: Ivy and Bean: No News Is d) Cucumbers
Good News)
HA! THIS NEXT ONE IS REALLY
a) Six dollars for five little bitty HARD. IT’S SO HARD YOU’LL
pieces of cheese NEVER GET IT. NEVER, NEVER,
N­ EVER!
b) Four dollars for six little bitty
pieces of cheese 11. Which one of the following songs
is NOT in Ivy and Bean: No News
c) Five dollars for six little bitty Is Good News?
pieces of cheese a) “Sorry Bucket”
b) “Nebulizer”
d) Five dollars for four little bitty c) “Late Last Night When We
pieces of cheese Were All in Bed”
d) “Lizard Hurricane”
8.Which one of these people
DOESN’T live on Pancake ANSWER KEY
Court? (Go ahead and peek. That’s what I’d do.)
(Hint: almost all the books
in the series) 1. c / 2. d / 3. b / 4. a / 5. c / 6. c / 7. c / 8. d /
9. None of these are right! MacAdam never
a) Sophie W. says anything! / 10. d / 11. a, but this is ­totally
b) Crummy Matt unfair because I never say that the song Bean
c) Jean the Girl sings in chapter nine is called “Late Last
d) Nels Donag Night When We Were All in Bed.” It’s a real
song. It’s about a big fire that happened in
9. MacAdam says that you can Chicago a long time ago. You don’t have to
make clean energy with . . . count this question if you don’t want to.
(Hint: Ivy and Bean: What’s
the Big Idea?)

a) Limes
b) Rice
c) Bananas
d) Toes

139

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

WORD FIND

s ubs cr i pt i onI vy
n e ws p a p e r c u i t wu
l unchboxr i cbean
di s gui s ecs hs nxi
p u o i h e i n d we a n c c
bol l cI s i c beui eo
onpaaneeoos exi r
el oel bel l del oon

BEAN BELLDELOON
CHEESE DISGUISE
IVY LUNCHBOX
NEWSPAPER SUBSCRIPTION
UNICORN WAX

140

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

1 34
2

5
6

7
8

9

ACROSS DOWN

2 Bean’s best friend’s name. 1 The real name for what Eric calls
a one-eye.
3 The color of the wax around the
Belldeloon cheese. 4 Bean says “Another day, another .”

6 The word that is repeated three 5 The food that comes wrapped in wax
times in the title of the first that Ivy and Bean want.
chapter.
6 What Ivy and Bean have every day
8 Ivy and Bean plan to sell sub- after school.
scriptions to this to earn money.
7 The coating around the cheese that
9 Ivy’s best friend’s name. all of the kids play with.

FIND MORE FUN & GAMES AT WWW.CHRONICLEBOOKS.COM/IVYANDBEAN.

141

FOLLOW ivy + bean On
aLL OF their adventures!

Collect them all. How many have you read?

BOOK 1 BOOK 2 BOOK 3

BOOK 4 BOOK 5

BOOK 6 BOOK 7 BOOK

Available wherever books are sold.

Visit CHRONICLEBOO1K42S.COM/IVYANDBEAN
for fun games, videos, and more!

HAVE EVEN MORE FUN
WITH IVY + BEAN!

Make your own buttons!

Create your own Ivy + Bean adventures with paper dolls!

More than
90 removable

stickers!

Send secret notes to your friends!

Includes
fold-and-seal

notes and
stickers!

143

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?????? ???????? ?? ???????? ????? ???? ?? ?????? ????

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??? ??????? ???????? ??? ????? ??????????? ???? ?????
???? ??? ????? ???? ?? ????? ????? ??? ??? ????? ??? ??
www.sophieblackall.com.

To host an event with the author or illustrator of this book, please
contact [email protected].



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