Reader's Digest AU NZ 05.2020

The A Factor

Mawson is Australia’s oldest Antarctic station, with a yearly average
temperature of -14°C, dipping to -32°C on occasion

PHOTO: COURTESY JESSE BLACKADDER the need to store certain foods such drama-prone Russian Antarctic re-
as potatoes, which spoil if frozen, in a search station, where somebody was
special fridge to warm them up. reportedly stabbed by a workmate for
revealing – of all things – the end of a
A FEW WEEKS IN, there was a fancy novel.) They drew on colourful stories
dinner, which guests attended in for- about cohorts in seasons past. There’s
mal dress and shoes. (Usually they all a known phenomenon, for instance,
wandered the living quarters in the that if a single woman arrives on the
same Australian government-issued, station she becomes the ‘Queen’, and
blue-and-white-speckled wool socks the single men competing for her af-
– this also made it tricky to sort the fections become her faithful ‘corgis’.
laundry.) The dinner was a turning According to the Australian Antarctic
point for the group. Something about Division’s Expeditioner’s Handbook,
getting dressed up and having candles anyone who gets involved in a rela-
and napkins “really changed the vibe, tionship “should be sensitive to the
and created a sense of camaraderie”. potential impact of indiscreet behav-
From there on in, the group was “out- iour on others who are separated from
rageously harmonious”. their loved ones”.

The only downside of this convivi- Even when the going is good, things
ality was that any open conflict in Al- can go wrong fast. This is known col-
len and Blackadder’s TV script had to loquially as ‘the A factor’, a sort of
be invented (or inspired by the more Antarctic Murphy’s Law, and is the

49

READER’S DIGEST

working title of their TV show. Once, whatever it takes to come back next

a power outage had tradies sprinting season, seeking to return to a wonder-

to fix it, because after just 20 minutes land where there’s no cash, no need

the pipes would begin to freeze. If to lock anything, no traffic; where all

somebody didn’t turn up for a meal, meals are eaten communally and the

someone would always check on washing-up is equitably shared. It’s a

them. The relentless companionship dangerous, thrilling place where resi-

could itself take a toll. “What does it dents face real challenges doing their

mean,” Allen mused, “to see the same daily work, but where it’s also socially

people for three meals a day, and at acceptable to spend evenings wearing

the bar, and on a Sunday and special matching socks while doing group

occasions, and on your birthday, and crosswords or learning to knit (and

when you’re having a hard time and this goes for the tradies, too).

don’t want to talk to anybody – but if Re-entering normal life is not easy

you get your cornflakes and take them after such an experience. The Division

back to your room, IT’S A DANGEROUS, shares advice with
everybody notices?” expeditioners on

An organisation- THRILLING PLACE separating from, and
al psychologist was WHERE RESIDENTS returning to, partners
available for remote in the outside world.
sessions, which FACE REAL It recommends

Blackadder was CHALLENGES meeting, after a long
grateful for when she absence, in neutral

found herself briefly territory. Partners are

in a low place midway through their also eligible for psychological support

stay. “All the things that made me feel services, in acknowledgement of the

stable and secure as a person had burdens they carry. Both Allen and

melted or crumbled,” she said. “The Blackadder said that, in the days after

ice was literally melting around me, their return, they found speeding traf-

everything was cracking under my fic and being surrounded by a sea of

feet, and that’s how I felt, too. Who strange faces in a cityscape almost un-

am I here?” bearable. When they’d first arrived in

Antarctica, it had felt like “landing on

THERE’S A FAMOUS SIGN at the end an alien planet”. Now, however, they

of the headland: IT’S HOME IT’S find themselves sometimes longing

MAWSON. This is a sentiment widely for Mawson. For home.

shared; apparently there’s a high rate FROM THE BOOK INNER WORLDS OUTER SPACES
of ‘recidivism’ among Mawsonites. No BY CERIDWEN DOVEY © 2019 CERIDWEN DOVEY.
matter the hardships, many will do PUBLISHED BY HAMISH HAMILTON

50 May 2020

FROM TOP: QUANG HO/SHUTTERSTOCK (DRIP). KUMRUEN JITTIMA/SHUTTERSTOCK (POD) I Am the Iam, and have always been, a sym-
bol of indulgence, love, richness
FOOD and joy. Lucky children wear me
ON YOUR smeared across their mouths and
PLATE on their fingertips as a sign of the
ultimate childhood satisfaction. I’m
I Am the iconic Valentine’s Day gift for cel-
Chocolate ... ebrating romance, yet also the go-to
salve for the rejected or dejected any
Sweet, day of the year.
But with a
Dark Side My life story is hot and epic, which
is only fitting given that I am na-
BY Kate Lowenstein tive to the equatorial regions of the
AND Daniel Gritzer Americas and have been around for
many millennia. I come from a small
evergreen tree in the genus Theobro-
ma (‘food of the gods’ in Greek) that
grows football-shaped pods – not on
its branches, like most fruit trees, but
on the trunk. The pods have leathery
skins that cover a slimy, sweet-sour
flesh and house roughly 40  seeds
each.

I was likely first grown 5000 years
ago in current-day Ecuador – for
booze. (Yes, my f lesh can be fer-
mented into an alcoholic beverage.)
But soon enough, my seeds – aka
cacao beans – became the forever
focus. The Mayans, among others,
dried, roasted, and cracked them
into cacao nibs, which they then
ground into cocoa flour and blend-
ed with water to make a drink. One

51

READER’S DIGEST early European settler who tasted the
mix (which included chilli, fragrant
IS CHOCOLATE GOOD flowers, and sometimes cornmeal)
FOR YOUR BRAIN? said I was “more a drink for pigs
than a drink for humanity.” In time,
According to research conducted he grew to enjoy the beverage, eating
by scientists at the Universities of his words as aristocrats across Eu-
Rome and L’Aquila in Italy, the rope took to drinking a similar blend
compounds found in chocolate, made with rose water, egg yolks or
called flavanols, can help boost almonds – emulating the Mayans
cognitive performance. The studies after all.
assessed people’s performance on
cognitive tests before and after Since my pods ripen at irregular
eating cocoa or chocolate. times and are attached to my tree by
The results were pretty telling: a delicate stem that would be dam-
in nine out of the ten studies, there
was a noticeable improvement after IN MY MYRIAD FORMS,
the subjects had eaten the I AM A DECADENT
chocolate. The scientists found TEMPTATION
improvements in “general
cognition, attention, processing aged by a machine, all my harvest-
speed and working memory.” ing and processing must be done by
hand.
And that’s not all. In subjects,
especially women, who performed Beyond satisfying the early human
the tests while sleep-deprived, the sweet tooth, cacao beans have turned
flavanols helped “counteract” the out to be full of fibre, antioxidants,
negative effects of the sleep monounsaturated fat, flavanols,
deprivation. And there’s even more and other compounds that studious
good news. The researchers also 21st-century humans know are im-
found that eating chocolate daily portant to overall health. My flava-
(over periods ranging from five nols in particular are good for low-
days to three months) produced ering blood pressure, though if that
noticeable long-term were your main objective, you’d be
improvements in cognition. Older best off eating entirely unsweetened
adults, whose memories were dark chocolate, and who wants to do
already declining, saw an especially that? Even my bitterest compound,
significant improvement. It should, theobromine, is suspected of being
however, be remembered that dark good for the heart and brain. Yet
chocolate is a richer source of the
beneficial flavanols than milk.

Meghan Jones

52 May 2020

I am the Food on Your Plate

beware: that’s what can poison your CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES
dog if she raids your chocolate stash.
Ganache, a mixture of chopped
And, believe it or not, I may even chocolate and cream or butter, is the
be good for your skin. Researchers at basis for many types of truffles and is
Germany’s Heinrich Heine Universi- simple to make. Use more chocolate
ty exposed chocolate eaters to ultra- in proportion to cream for a firmer
violet light and found that after six ganache. In a small pan, quickly heat
weeks, they had 15 per cent less skin 150 ml thick cream. Bring to the boil,
reddening than those who didn’t eat then take the pan off the heat to cool
me. “We believe the compounds in completely. In the meantime, chop
chocolate act as UV filters,” says study up about 300 grams good-quality
leader Wilhelm Stahl. After 12 weeks, chocolate (at least 70 per cent
the chocolate eaters’ skin was 16 per chocolate solids) and melt it in a
cent denser and 42 per cent less scaly. double boiler. Stir the cream and
Concerned about me causing acne? chocolate together to produce a
Researchers at Australia’s University of smooth liquid. If necessary, stir in
Newcastle reviewed the evidence and a little more cream.
found nothing to suggest that I trigger
blemishes. Make sure that the truffle mixture
is properly chilled before rolling
I was almost exclusively available to into balls. You can roll the balls in
the upper classes until the Industrial cocoa powder, icing sugar or
Revolution, when someone finally coconut, or use finely chopped
brought the hydraulic press to bear on nuts and chocolate crumbs.
cacao beans. Manufacturers could
then force the vegetable fat out of my 53
nibs and produce cocoa butter, which
permitted cooks to more easily create
indulgences such as chocolate bars,
truffles and cakes. Sadly, after centu-
ries of investigation, my once-vaunted
aphrodisiac qualities are being dis-
counted. But in my myriad forms, I am
a decadent temptation and a source of
culinary pleasure.

Kate Lowenstein is a health editor
currently at Vice; Daniel Gritzer is
the culinary director of the cooking
site Serious Eats.

READER’S DIGEST

LAUGHTER

The Best Medicine

Down Memory Lane “I said yes! And I’m glad CARTOON: MARK PARIS. ILLUSTRATION; GETTY IMAGES
you called, because I couldn’t
A widower and a widow attend their remember who asked me.”
70th class reunion, and a long-ago
spark is rekindled. At the end of the TheChattanoogan.com
night, he asks, “Will you marry me?”
Worse for Wear
“Yes, yes, I will!” she says
enthusiastically. I describe my husband’s style as
“Is that what you’re wearing?”
The next morning, the widower
wakes up troubled. Did she say @sixfootcandy
yes or no? Confused, he calls her
and asks, “Did you say yes or no to Bar Joke
marrying me?”
A man walks into a bar ...
54 may 2020
It was painful. @CLEANJOKING

Laughter

Plane Speaking THINGS YOU’LL
NEVER HEAR
ME: I have to be honest, Steve. A THREE YEAR
I’m a motivational speaker, not OLD SAY
a flight instructor.
STEVE: WHAT? ◆ “It doesn’t
I CAN’T LAND THIS PLANE!
ME: Not with that attitude you can’t. really look like
a dragon, but
@REVEREND_SCOTT never mind, I’ll
eat it anyway –
Comedy Best food is food!”

Every year in August, the ◆ “Here’s your phone back.”
Edinburgh Festival Fringe celebrates ◆ “Yep, that’s exactly how I
the world’s funniest comics. Here’s
what had us giggling in our kilts: wanted it done. You’ve nailed it.
Again.”
◆ “I accidentally booked myself
◆ “Don’t need it. Already
into an escapology course. I’m really
struggling to get out of it.” have three. Let’s just stick to
our shopping list.”
ADELE CLIFF
◆ “For Pete’s sake, Dad. It’s 3.30 in
◆ “A thesaurus is great.
the morning. Please, go back to
There’s no other word for it.” bed – you’re starting a new job,
and this is the one night you really
ROSS SMITH need some decent sleep.”

◆ “A cowboy asked me if I could ◆ “Don’t hide that square

help him round up 18 cows. I said, millimetre of zucchini behind the
‘Yes, of course. That’s 20 cows.’ ” pasta. More! More green! I’m into
micro sprouts at the moment, too.”
JAKE LAMBERT
◆ “It doesn’t matter how we did
◆ “After learning six hours of basic
this yesterday. Things change!”
semaphore, I was flagging.”
◆ “Here’s the remote – I don’t
RICHARD PULSFORD
really know how to use it anyway.”
◆ “To be or not to be a horse rider,
◆ “I bet I can get in my car seat
that is equestrian.” MARK SIMMONS
before you can say the words, ‘My
Tidying Up back. I can’t ... straighten ... up ...’”

I have all of Marie Kondo’s books. OLIVIA APPLEBY ON MCSWEENEYS.NET

Now I just need a way to organise rdasia.com 55

them. SUBMITTED BY ROB SOWBY

READER’S DIGEST

56 May 2020

SEE THE WORLD...
Turn the page ››
57

READER’S DIGEST

58 May 2020

...DIFFERENTLY

What looks like
an abandoned ballroom
actually is the inside of a violin.
Artist Adrian Borda usually
works more with a brush than
a camera, but an advertising
campaign for the Berlin
Philharmonic Orchestra
inspired the Romanian
painter to create a series of
extraordinary photos. In his
hometown of Reghin, also
known as the city of violins,
he began to repurpose old,
retired instruments to create

extraordinary
cathedrals of light.

PHOTOS: ACTION PRESS/SOUTH
WEST NEWS SERVICE;
GETTY IMAGES

59

DRAMA IN REAL LIFE ILLUSTRATIONS BY YUTA ONODA

SECONDS

TO SAVE

EMILY

THEY COULD NEVER
STOP THE TRAIN IN TIME

BY Collin Perry

60 may 2020

61

READER’S DIGEST

A dawning sun silhouetted the massive form of
the freight train. Loaded with fuel, water and sand
for traction, the engine cab weighed in at 186,000
kilograms – slightly less than a 747 jumbo jet.
Even as it idled, conductor Robert Mohr could feel
the diesel power rumble through the ground.

Mohr, 49, ran his eye along the east, into a sun that promised a beau-

96 cars behind him and, for a mo- tiful day for their 276-kilometre run

ment, recalled why he’d always want- to Peru, Indiana.

ed to be a conductor. To him, there

was beauty in the oversized machin- AT AROUND NOON THAT DAY, Tila

ery and in having control over such Marshall prepared to tackle some

tremendous power. work in the garden. The 34-year-old

It was 7am on May 12, 1998. Mohr single mother of four had planned

had already scanned a dispatch list- to brighten up the front of her home

ing hazardous mate- WITH in Lafayette, Indiana,
rials aboard the train. EXPLOSIVE with flowers. It was a
“We’ve got some gas beautiful day for it, she
with us,” he’d report- LIQUID thought, gazing past
ed to his engineer, Rod PROPANE GAS the houses across the
Lindley, in the cab. ON BOARD, A street. Some 45 me-
DERAILMENT tres away, just visible
The presence of liq- through tall, swaying
uid propane gas would WOULD BE grass, train tracks glis-
mean taking extra pre- DISASTROUS tened in the sun.
caution when braking
the 186-tonne train. Marshall began

With explosive gas on working in a patch of

board, a derailment soil. Sitting next to

would be disastrous. The rest of the her, cheerfully running her hands

cargo was mainly new cars, car parts through dirt, was her 19-month-old

and coal. daughter, Emily. For a while, she

After a final external inspection, kept turning to check on Emily, who

Mohr jumped aboard. Slowly the played close at hand. Eventually,

train pulled out of the Decatur, though, Marshall’s absorption in her

Illinois, depot. They were headed work became total.

62 May 2020

Comfortable inside the engine Mohr and Lindley approached
cab, Robert Mohr smiled as Lafayette at about 1.45pm and
Rod Lindley switched on his slowed the train to the 40 km/h
sideboard heater. The engineer was speed limit. Lindley activated his
preparing lunch the way he often did flashing lights and warning bell. The
– by using the heater as a stove. “Pork two had been through the city hun-
chops,” said Lindley with pride, care- dreds of times, but they grew extra
fully positioning a lump wrapped in cautious rounding the first curve.
tin foil. “Smoked them myself.” Ahead, over just five kilometres of
track, lay no fewer than 24 street
Mohr and Lindley had 50 years of crossings.
railroad experience between them,
and they had a lot in common. Both As the train came out of the curve,
had a passion for hunting and fish- Lindley noticed a small tannish dot
ing, and both liked to swap stories of on the right rail about 140 metres
the outdoors. They also enjoyed talk- ahead. He thought it might be a dog.
ing about their families. As the radio Although it was against the rules to
crackled with dispatcher information, do so in Lafayette, he began lightly
they’d laugh over the trials of raising tapping his horn. “Come on, puppy,
children. move,” he urged.

63

READER’S DIGEST

THE TOOTS OF A TR AIN WHISTLE There was no sign of the little girl.

startled Marshall from her garden Marshall ran to the front of the house,

reverie. That’s odd, she thought. where Zachary was now standing. “Is

They don’t usually blow the whistle your sister with you?” she asked.

through town. “No,” he said, and ran into the

She glanced over to check her house to look for her.

daughter, and her heart skipped a

beat. Emily was nowhere in sight. LINDLEY HAD AN INSTANT deci-

W hile Lindley worked the con- sion to make. Applying full emer-

trols, Mohr stood alongside, staring gency brakes with half the train

ahead at whatever was lying on the still wrapped around a curve could

rail. It wasn’t unusual for such ob- cause derailment. But the terrible

jects to turn out to be a bunch of rags realit y of the situation left Lind-

or other debris. Far LINDLEY ley no choice. He had
less common were real WATCHED to risk an emergency
emergencies, although HELPLESSLY stop.
Mohr had experienced AS THE TRAIN
a few accidents in his CONTINUED TO The train shud-
23 years with the rail- BEAR DOWN dered, and the wheels
road. screeched in protest.
ON THE Lindley lay on the horn
Now, as the train TODDLER and watched helplessly
approached within as the train continued
90 metres of the ob- to bear down on the
ject on the rail, Mohr toddler. He and Mohr

looked intently. Then felt successive jolts as

shock coursed through the cars braked front-

him. to-rear, each car crashing into the

“My God!” he yelled as a tiny face car ahead.

turned towards him. “It’s a baby!” His unblinking eyes glued on the

T ila Marshall dashed around to small figure before him, Lindley
the rear of her house. She knew could do nothing now but pray.
that Emily loved to play a game
MARSHALL WAS UNABLE to focus,

with her 11-year-old brother: the girl even as her legs turned to jelly and

would run to the back yard while shook uncontrollably. Everything

Zachary raced through the house seemed unreal to her.

to intercept her, causing squeals of A wave of nausea overcame her.

delight. Marshall called out, “Emily! Yet she stood fixed in a hallway of

Emily, honey, are you back here?” her house, unable to move. Zachary

64 May 2020

Seconds to Save Emily

stood next to her crying, “Mum, Mohr stretched out as far as possi-

I’m scared.” ble. He knew he had only one shot.

As the train barrelled forward, The child, still trying to stand,
Robert Mohr acted on instinct. was now directly in the path of the
He yanked open the left door plough.

Stretching as far as he could, Mohr

of the engine cab and stepped out put his right leg out in front of him.

onto a narrow walkway. He hurried to “Come on, please,” he muttered

the front of the engine and crossed to through clenched teeth, “just give me

the right side. He then stepped down another inch or two …”

to the lower portion of the walkway Suddenly the little girl was upon

just to the rear of the train’s plough. him. Swinging his leg out, he swept

The child was now just 35 metres her aside with his foot. He saw the

ahead. Mohr franti- THE baby hit some rocks
cally considered what CHILD WAS headfirst, then spin
to do. At this speed – NOW JUST around as the train
still about 35 km/h – a 35 METRES lumbered by. Had she
train this size would AHEAD. MOHR been knocked clear of
need another 135 me- FRANTICALLY the engine?
tres to stop. There was CONSIDERED
no way they’d halt it in WHAT TO DO Mohr leapt from
time. He winced as he the moving train and
imagined the plough ran back to the child.
hitting the little girl. She lay crying by the
tracks, blood stream-

With fewer than ten ing from a gash be-

seconds left, the baby neath her hair.

rolled off the track and onto the out-

er tie. If she kept down, perhaps the MARSHALL STOOD in the front gar-

right edge of the plough would pass den of her home, clutching her son’s

harmlessly over her. But then she hand and staring ahead as people ran

reared her backside up, preparing to towards the tracks. She was trying to

stand. “No, no, baby, lie down!” Mohr scream for help, but could only gasp

yelled. unintelligibly.

The train was down to 24 km/h

now, as the horn loosed its deafening MOHR K N ELT DOW N beside t he

howl. child. “Mama! Mama!” the little girl

With only the toes of his left foot cried out. Ecstatic relief swept over

balancing on the walkway and his the conductor.

left hand clinging to the railing, Cradling her head, Mohr lifted her

65

READER’S DIGEST

Emily Marshall suffered only cuts and bruises in her brush with
the train, thanks to Robert Mohr's quick action

from the dirt. “OK, sweetheart,” he dare tell me that was my baby!” she PHOTO: STEVE K AGAN/PEOPLE WEEKLY
whispered. “Let’s go find Mummy.” screamed.

It was only then that Mohr noticed A police detective held up his hand.
the train had stopped and there “Ma’am, ma’am, calm down. The ba-
were flashing red lights of emergen- by’s going to be OK. We just have to
cy vehicles alongside the tracks. A find out whose it is.”
neighbour, seeing the accident un-
fold, had dialled emergency services. Marshall quickly realised that the
child’s description fitted Emily. The
With the baby in his arms, Mohr news that her baby was safely en
began to walk and was met by police route to the hospital finally sank in,
and a growing crowd of onlookers. and she collapsed, weeping, into the
Firefighters arrived, took the baby detective’s arms.
and handed her off to paramedics for
a trip to the hospital. MOHR SPOKE WITH POLICE and
railroad officials, then began feeling
Tila Marshall looked up to see shaky. Telling himself he still had a
police officers approach- job to do, he began to walk the length
ing her front lawn. Her mind of the train to check on the state of
spun in renewed terror. “Don’t you the carriages.

66 may 2020

Seconds to Save Emily

“You go sit in the cab,” a train offi- on the front verandah, applauding.
cial said. “I’ll do the inspection.” They had listened to the news of his
heroism on television. To Mohr’s re-
As Mohr rested in the train, his lief they told him that the little girl
pent-up emotions rushed to the sur- had suffered nothing more serious
face. It had all unfolded so fast, and than cuts and bruises. She’d be fine.
the reality of what he had done was
only now hitting him. Aweek later Mohr stepped from
his car in front of Tila Mar-
Within minutes, Lindley was shall’s house. When Marshall
standing beside Mohr, taking the was introduced to the man who had
controls again. They looked at each saved her daughter, she hugged him
other, their expressions of relief and tightly.
gratitude more eloquent than words.
Mohr’s overalls were still spattered Mohr picked up Emily and held her
with blood. The train pulled slowly close. “Hello, Emily,” he said.
out of Lafayette.
FIRST PUBLISHED IN READER’S DIGEST IN
That evening, when Robert Mohr NOVEMBER 1998.
got home, his family was standing

Loch Ness Monster a Giant Eel?

The Loch Ness monster may not lurk in the lake’s depths, but if it
is any consolation it may be a big eel. Scientists who compiled the
genetic profiles of living creatures in Scotland’s mysterious Loch
Ness reported they had found no evidence of a prehistoric marine
re ptile called a plesiosaur. “We have no definitive evidence of a
monster,” said Professor Neil Gemmell of the University of Otago,
New Zealand, who led the study. The Loch Ness monster, or Nessie
for short, is one of Scotland’s most enduring stories. Thousands

of alleged sightings have given birth to tales of a large creature
living in the loch. The researchers analysed the genetic material
shed by all life in Loch Ness from around 250 samples of water. The
team did find a surprisingly large amount of eel DNA in the loch,
Professor Gemmell said. “Is it a giant eel? I don’t know, but it is
something that we can test further,” he said. However, he dangled
the tantalising possibility that the team had missed something.
“There may well be a monster in Loch Ness, but we didn’t find it,”

he said. WWW.NBCNEWS.COM

67

UP,UP

AND AWAY!
The remote, the beautiful and the unusual
– airports around the globe
BY Cornelia Kumfert

68 May 2020

PHOTO: ALAMY STOCK PHOTO PHOTO FEATURE

 Each of the three taxiway bridges at Leipzig Halle Airport

in Germany can bear a weight of up to 750 tonnes. Just as well,
since one of the runways is separated from the terminal building by
a motorway. To get from the northern runway to the main building,

planes must make a detour over the six-lane highway.

rdasia.com 69

READER’S DIGEST PHOTOS: (TOP) GET T Y IMAGES/PHOTOVOYAGER; (BELOW) OL AF SCHUELKE/AL AMY STOCK
PHOTO; (LEFT) GETTY IMAGES/JOHN WHITE PHOTOS
 The world’s most dangerous airport is probably in Nepal. Aircraft

taking off and landing at Lukla Airport have just 527 metres of runway to
work with. And as if that wasn’t hair-raising enough, during take-off pilots
are also confronted with a 600-metre drop at the end of the runway.

 If the thought of a long trek through the Australian desert

deters you from visiting Uluru, you may be surprised to learn that
Connellan Airport is just a few minutes’ drive from the massive
sandstone formation. Despite its remote location, the airport is
host to around 400,000 visitors a year.

70 May 2020

Up, Up and Away

If your holiday

begins the second
you get off the plane,
you are probably in
Singapore. Passengers
at Changi Airport
can enjoy the lush
14,000-square-metre
Canopy Park, stretch
their legs among the
2000 trees of what is
almost certainly the
world’s largest airport
forest, or simply gaze
at the 40-metre-high
waterfall in the glass
complex that links the
airport’s three
passenger terminals.

rdasia.com 71

READER’S DIGEST

72 May 2020

PHOTOS: (LEF T) GET T Y IMAGES/ANSONMIAO; (TOP) GEOGR APHY PHOTOS/UNIVERSAL IMAGES GROUP VIA GET T Y IMAGES; Up, Up and Away
(BELOW) GETTY IMAGES/BRAD MCGINLEY PHOTOGRAPHY
 The flight schedule at this airport is determined not by

passengers’ needs but by the tides. At Scotland’s Barra Airport,
planes can only take off and land at low tide. At high tide, the
1.5-kilometre-long and one-kilometre-wide Tràigh Mhòr beach that
serves as the runway is completely submerged.

 While construction work on Berlin’s new airport has lasted

14 years and counting, it took just four years to build Beijing Daxing
International Airport, which opened last year. It is estimated that
by 2021 the airport will serve around 45 million passengers a year,
rising to as many as 100 million by 2040.

 The striking exterior of Denver International Airport is a nod to

its location at the foot of the Rocky Mountains. The white fibreglass
tents that form the terminal roof evoke both the Rockies’ snow-capped
peaks and the Native American teepees of Colorado’s early history.

73

HUMOUR

Timing Is Everything

Extremely late or chronically early? Those highly
annoying people who just can’t stick to the schedule

BY Lesley Crewe F R O M A R E YO U K I D D I N G M E ?!

WE ALL HAVE THEM IN OUR LIVES. I’ve had conversations on the ILLUSTRATION: GRAHAM ROUMIEU
phone: “Dinner will be ready by four
They live among us just to try our pa- o’clock. See you then.”
tience. Ms Late and Mr Early. Loved
ones who can’t seem to get out of Hubby will give me a look. “Dinner
their own way and arrive anywhere is at four?”
on time. It’s a chronic problem, and
they know it, but that’s how they roll. “No. It’s at six, but I’ve invited
Tinkerbell.”
“I’ll be there by 6.30!” Eight it is.
He nods knowingly.

74 May 2020

I’ve even been in the room with Being too early or too late is an

Tinkerbell and said, “We’d better go,” affliction, but it never seems to both-

and she agrees, “Righto!” er the person who’s actually afflicted.

Then she turns around and orders It only affects the poor idiots in their

a T-shirt she saw online, looks up a company, who just do their best to

quote, checks her email, searches for show up when they’re supposed to.

her handbag, folds her laundry and I’d just like to know how early in life

washes a few dishes while I wait by this behaviour manifests. What is it

the door. about our internal clocks that leaves

But as exasperating as it is to have one person unconcerned about time

someone in your life who’s always passing, and the other constantly

late, it’s excruciating to have some- aware of it? If I look at my own fam-

one who is perpetually early. To be ily, our son is very laid-back, and he

even two minutes late didn’t arrive until nine

is not an option. YOU DON’T SEE days after his due date.
Hubby is in this cat- ME WAITING IN Our daughter, a spit-
fire, arrived before
egory. He times things A DARKENED her Christmas Day
to the minute.

“The movie is at THEATRE FOR due date, so maybe it’s
four.” (No evening THREE HOURS hardwired from the
shows for us anymore. very beginning.

That’s how you know I generally gauge

you’re well and truly how long something

retired.) “We have five stops to make will take and forget about it, the same

before that, so estimating 15 to 20 way I hang pictures without a meas-

minutes per stop, not counting traffic uring tape and throw spices in a stew.

or unforeseen circumstances like a flat It’s called the “who cares?” method.

tyre, we should leave after breakfast.” The one thing that does happen

“You are completely insane!” is that this behaviour becomes part

“Lesley, you know we have to get of the charm of the person you love.

to the movies early. I hate waiting in You can’t imagine Mr Early ever

line.” being late, or Ms Late ever showing

“Well, I hate waiting in line too, but up early.

you don’t see me sitting in a darkened As long as they show up. Period.

theatre for three hours before the

show!” EXCERPTED FROM ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
“You’ll thank me later.” BY LESLEY CREWE. © 2019 LESLEY CREWE.
No, I won’t. I won’t be speaking to PUBLISHED BY NIMBUS PUBLISHING. REPRODUCED
BY ARRANGEMENT WITH THE PUBLISHER.
him for at least a day. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

75

PARENTING PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES

RLEInsAOpoiDrfVinIgNEaG
Fatherhood finds humour writer
Olly Mann wanting his young son to
experience the joy of libraries

76 May 2020

77

READER’S DIGEST

spent school lunch breaks in the library. This was
neither nerdy reclusion nor hipster affectation: I
could, conceivably, have joined the cool kids behind
the tennis courts, but I didn’t smoke; and, if an

Iaspirational geek culture around comic books and
computer games existed in the early 1990s, it had
not yet reached where I grew up. No, I went to the library
simply because it was heated, and had large tables around
which my friends and I made each other laugh.

IT FELT LIGHTLY SUBVERSIVE, sneak- short accompanying video illustrat-
ily sharing crisps and bantering bois- ing some of the entries. I suppose this
terously in the reading room as the oc- was intended to inspire related read-
casional teacher tutted. Plus, we were ing. Instead, I just watched the small
spared the school bullies, who tended selection of videos on endless repeat,
not to frequent the library. Bullies and became unhealthily obsessed
aren’t big readers. with hideous moments from histo-
ry. Thus, aged 13, I could recite Herb
That building, with its peppery car- Morrison’s report from the Hinden-
pet tiles and phlegm-coloured radia- burg airship disaster, verbatim. Oh,
tors, bequeathed me many fond mem- the humanity!
ories. It housed an industrial-sized
photocopier, for example, from which After that, libraries never seemed as
I pumped out 200 weekly copies of the much fun. Indeed, during my univer-
school newspaper (under my editor- sity years, the library was perhaps the
ship, we went tabloid. ‘Worm Found only building on campus where fun
On School Potato!’ was the sensational was specifically prohibited. I did enjoy
highlight.) The library also contained an occasional nap in there – slumped
the school’s sole copy of Microsoft over a book of English grammar in the
Encarta, the ‘digital encyclopaedia’ hope its contents would absorb into
CD-Rom. my brain by osmosis – but basically
my perception of libraries became
Encarta was a bit like Wikipedia, in linked with work, not pleasure. What
the same way that a rainy garage sale a shame! Just glancing down the list of
is a bit like Amazon. It proffered thou- the most-borrowed authors – Jeffrey
sands of articles, analogue equiva- Archer, James Patterson, Jaqueline
lents of which were already accessible Wilson – it’s clear that the majority of
in the school’s dusty copies of the borrowers are, essentially, enrolled for
Encyclopædia Britannica – but with entertainment.
the thrilling opportunity to click on a

78 May 2020

Inspiring a Love of Libraries

Nonetheless, for over a decade I unearthing wonderful stories, deep

didn’t set foot in a library. What was at the back of the communal shelves,

the point, I reasoned, when I could and my mixed emotions at having

buy whatever book I wanted – at sec- to return them, three weeks later,

ond-hand prices if I didn’t want to for another child to enjoy. I wanted

shell out the RRP – and get it delivered Harvey to have experiences like that.

to my door with the click of a mouse? So, we joined our local library.

At first, the idea of ordering a book,

THEN I BECAME A DAD, and, like then waiting a week for it to arrive,

many parents, re-discovered the joy completely foxed him. He’s grown

of libraries. My three-year-old son, accustomed to the idea that whatever

Harvey, seemingly had no need for content he desires can be summoned

library membership: his bedroom up with a tap of a smartphone. Also,

shelf heaves with I STILL RECALL the notion of respect-
brilliant books by THE EXCITEMENT ing other readers –
OF UNEARTHING
Judith Kerr, Alan Ahl- WONDERFUL rather than running
berg, and probably STORIES around the room like
more works by Julia you’re at soft-play in
Donaldson than even a chocolate factory

Julia Donaldson has – took some time to
in her personal col- teach.

lection. They amassed But now Harvey is a

at great speed when I clocked that – firm fan of the library experience. He

since Harvey has a knack for emo- has his own little card, understands

tionally manipulating me into buy- his responsibilities to return the

ing him some knick-knack or trinket books he borrows, and is exposed to a

every time we leave the house – that broader range of the community than

thing might as well be a book, rath- elsewhere: older pupils revising for

er than some cover-mounted plastic their exams, local poets and authors,

plaything en route to landfill. and those old chaps who ostensibly

But I sensed Harvey had begun turn up each day to read the news-

to see books as rather too available, paper, but really, I suspect, are there

too unremarkable. I want him to be for the company. Last week, indeed,

familiar with, and undaunted by, Harvey was so excited to visit the li-

the habit of reading. But I also re- brary that he did a wee on the floor.

call, from my own childhood, that a The staff were very sympathetic.

certain scarcity can add to the mag- Fatherhood, then, has rekindled

ic of discovering a favourite new my affection for libraries. But I must

tome. I still recall the excitement of say, I miss the banter.

79

80 May 2020

PHOTOGRAPH BY HAMIN LEE ART OF LIVING

GAREWTNTIGHGTAHEIRYNTYG

BY Lisa Bendall

81

READER’S DIGEST nursery had narrowed an accessible
parking space by using part of it to
he driver who cuts you hold pallets of soil bags. We kept our
off in traffic. The neigh- cool and spoke with the manager,
bours who don’t pick who assured us the space would be
up after their dog. The cleared.
insurance company

Tthat puts you on hold
for an eternity. Situa- But when we went back a month

tions like these get our blood boiling later and found the pallets were still

and our hearts racing and send our there – and that a display of river rocks

stress levels skyrocket- had been set up beside

ing. Anger isn’t a pleas- ACT ON them – we were furious.
ant feeling. But neither YOUR I took photos, emailed
ANGER AT
is the way many of us SOMEONE them to the owners of
deal with it. Some of us the business, and ex-
bottle up our emotions, IN A plained the problem in
while others explode in CALM WAY a clearly written note,
a wild rage. Both habits THAT GETS adding, “Your compa-
have repercussions for ny is violating human
our bodies, our minds THEIR rights legislation that
and our relationships. ATTENTION prohibits discrimination
against store customers
Anger may feel un-

comfortable, but it’s also who have disabilities.”
normal and healthy. “It Just 24 hours later, the

gets negative press. A lot obstacles had been

of people think they have to get rid of removed, and the parking space has

their anger,” says psychologist Patrick remained clear ever since.

Keelan. “But anger is an emotion built Why We’re Angry
into us to signal that something needs

to be addressed.” When we take notice T he phy siolog ic a l c ha nges we

of that signal and rectify the problem, experience when we’re angry – the

we’re usually much better for it. increased blood pressure, the faster

It’s an emotion I’ve felt when my breathing, the release of stress hor-

husband and I can’t find acces- mones such as adrenalin and corti-

sible parking. He drives a wheel- sol – are set into motion by the amyg-

chair-equipped van and needs a dala, a sort of first responder in the

wider space to manoeuvre in and brain. The process evolved for a rea-

out of the vehicle, but spots are typi- son, says psychiatrist Dr Diane McIn-

cally limited. Two years ago, we were tosh. “A number of different biolog-

annoyed to discover that our local ical systems are working in concert

82 May 2020

Getting Angry the Right Way

to stimulate your fight-or-f light points out that when your stress
response. You’re going to fight people response is perpetually activated,
because you’re angry, or you’re going your body can become resistant to
to run away because you’re afraid.” the anti-inflammatory effects of cor-
tisol, stay in a state of inflammation,
In modern society, we don’t usu- and be more prone to developing
ally engage in physical brawls with physical diseases, like diabetes, and
reckless drivers or inconsiderate dog mental illness, such as depression.
owners, but that doesn’t mean quash-
ing our emotion. “We can act on our And if you think you’re sparing
anger appropriately,” says Keelan. “If your loved ones by bottling up your
somebody has done something that anger, consider this: “If you keep
bothers me, I can bring that to their suppressing it, then you could end
attention in a calm, clear way.” up erupting like a volcano,” says
Dr McIntosh. Instead of having a
Holding It In Causes Harm conversation earlier on about what’s
upsetting you, now you’re in conflict
Unfortunately, many of us – espe- as well as miserable.
cially women and girls – have been
conditioned to keep our reactions Venting Can Hurt, Too
hidden. “Anger is one of the so-called
seven deadly sins,” explains Dr Cher- Is it better, then, to scream and shout
yl van Daalen-Smith, an associate whenever something makes you
professor of nursing and women’s mad? You may find that lashing out
studies. “For women, anger is viewed doesn’t feel any better than pushing
as counter to expectations of being it all down. In fact, just as suppress-
caring and compassionate. It ends ing emotions has negative conse-
up in self-silencing.” quences for our physical and mental

But increasingly, research health, flying off the handle
is demonstrating that isn’t so good for us, either.
stuffing down our anger “A ny ex t reme emo-
can lead to damage later, tion has physical con-
including stress-related sequences – headaches,
diseases such as autoim- stomach aches, all kinds
mune conditions. Inves- of stuff,” says family and
tigators at the University anger-management expert
of Rochester even showed
that people who regular- Nancy MacDonald. A large
ly suppress their emo- 2016 study at McMaster
tions may have a shorter University found that
life span. Dr McIntosh we’re more than twice
as likely to have a heart

83

READER’S DIGEST

attack after an angry outburst. The in- MacDonald says. But it’s the extreme

creased blood pressure and heart rate highs and lows that take a toll, and if

will put stress on the cardiovascular you’re able to apply techniques that

system, and if there’s already some smooth out some of those peaks and

plaque build-up, the blood flow to valleys, you can have a gentler ride.

the heart may be restricted. MacDon- Start by exploring where your feel-

ald adds that when we feel ashamed ings are coming from. Anger can be

about blowing a gasket, “there’s also triggered by an irritating situation, but

a depressive stage that it’s also often precipitat-

often comes after.” ed by underlying feel-

As for the social con- RESEARCH ings of fear, anxiety, dis-
sequences of venting SHOWS appointment and guilt.
your anger, it doesn’t THAT That’s why anger is
take much imagination GIVING often considered a sec-
to predict how a furi- WORDS ondary emotion. May-
ous rampage can affect TO YOUR be you’re furious that
your relationships with your spouse is late, but
your spouse, your kids it’s because you were

or your colleagues. It’s FEELINGS afraid he’d had a car
one of the reasons why CAN BE accident. Being more
anger gets a bad rap. But CALMING aware of your primary
we must stop equating it emotions can help you

with explosive rage. “An- to reflect on them and

ger is an emotion, and recognise the thoughts

aggression is a behaviour. We need you’re having.

to untether those two things,” says You can also pay closer attention to

Dr van Daalen-Smith. “Angry feelings your triggers – those daily irritations,

have to be expressed, and we need such as the long queues at the super-

to make it OK for listeners to accept market – that you know will set you

and appreciate women’s expressions off. You may not be able to avoid all

of anger.” triggers, but you can prepare yourself

Acknowledge Your Anger by having strategies at the ready. One
tactic is reframing. “Take a step back

If we shouldn’t bottle up our angry from that situation and look at it in a

feelings, but aggressive behaviour different way,” says MacDonald. When

isn’t healthy either, then how should I consider that people who block

we handle it when something makes accessible parking spaces don’t realise

us angry? “The goal isn’t to not why those spots need to be wide, I do

feel anger. Emotions are normal,” feel less hostile towards them.

84 May 2020

Getting Angry the Right Way

Ways To Express Yourself evidence that exercise benefits anx-
iety and depression, and helps with
There are many ways to express feelings of anger,” says DrMcIntosh.
anger without resorting to hitting
someone. Like we tell kindergarten When you’re ready to approach the
children, use your words. Talking other person, Keelan recommends
about anger is proven to help us feel focusing on the behaviour and why
better. Researchers are still investi- it bothers you, not the person’s char-
gating the mechanisms behind why acter traits. “You’ve got some very
this works. But brain imaging at valid points you want to bring up to
University of California, Los Angeles them,” he says. “You want to make
(UCLA) and elsewhere has shown sure they get tuned into those, rath-
that if, within your own mind, you er than get sidetracked by aggressive
attach language to your feelings, it behaviour.” Avoid calling the other
can actually calm the activity in the person names or accusing them of
amygdala, that place where the fight- being inconsiderate. Don’t swear,
or-flight response is triggered. and don’t make overgeneralisations,
such as, “You always do this!”
Language is especially useful when
you’re angry with someone about a “The basic concept,” says Keelan,
specific behaviour. As Dr McIntosh “is to bring up your reasonable points
notes, “There is a value to expressing to the other person in a manner that
that you don’t like what’s happen- is most likely to get a constructive
ing, because it’s an opportunity for and non-defensive response.”
change.”
As for those on the receiving end,
You may decide to take a cool- remember that there are benefits to
down period before speaking out – acknowledging and trying to under-
this will allow for the effects of the stand the other person’s anger – and
adrenalin to wear off, for you to take offering to make a change, if war-
time to reflect on what’s really both- ranted. The other person will be
ering you, and for the person you much more likely to bring matters
need to speak with to be receptive. up constructively in the future,
You can do some controlled breath- rather than hold them in or explode.
ing or find some physical activity And in the end, you’ll both be
to take the edge off. “There’s clear healthier for it.

Cephalopod Collective

I will always be disappointed that a group of squids
is not called a squad. FROM THE INTERNET

85

READER’S DIGEST

ALL IN A DAY’S WORK

Humour on the Job

Quite Contrary Candid Camera CARTOON: HARLEY SCHWADRON. ILLUSTRATION GETTY IMAGES

Sometimes honesty isn’t the best ME: Why aren’t you smiling in
policy. A patient showed up at
our medical office and asked, your school pictures?
“You’re Mary, aren’t you?”
CHILD: Because I’m at school.
I smiled. “No, sorry, I’m not.”
“Are you sure? You look just like ME: So?
someone I know named Mary.”
“Well, I hope she’s young and CHILD: Can I see your work ID?
skinny.”
“No,” he said, settling into his ME: OK, never mind. @RodLacroix
chair. “She looks like you.”
Ruff Stuff
SUBMITTED BY JANICE GRUDOWSKI
I have dealt with so many difficult
customers over the years that I used
to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was
cross with him. confessionsofahotelworker.com

86 may 2020

All In a Day’s Work

False Pretences SERVING
PATTER
Never lie on your résumé. You might
get caught like these fraudsters did: The restaurant
industry can
◆ One applicant took credit for flummox
rookies and
writing computer code that was seasoned
actually written by the manager professionals
conducting the job interview. alike. Consider:
A table ordered a Pepsi
◆ Another applicant reported and a Coke. The server
brought their drinks over,
being an anti-terrorist spy during the
years when he would have been in
primary school.

◆ Yet another reported studying

under German philosopher Friedrich
Nietzsche, who, by then, had been
dead for 117 years.

careerbuilder.com

Final Chapter then, in front of the

There’s not a whole lot to relieve customers, took a sip from

the boredom when working in each drink to see which

Antarctica, so books take on was which. thechive.com

added importance. Too much I once had a customer ask that
his lamb not taste like lamb.
importance, evidently. A Russian

electrical engineer was arrested

for assaulting a welder. The reason reddit.com

behind the attack: his colleague Our manager kept reminding
us waitresses to encourage
kept ruining the ending of the customers to order dessert.

books he was reading. At the end of an especially
exhausting day, I walked over
Russian investigators say the two to a couple who had just sat
down, gave them each a menu
men, who spent six months working and a glass of water, and
asked, “Would you care for
together, were both avid readers. anything else?”

Apparently, however, the welder

was a somewhat speedier reader,

revealing plot twists in texts

the engineer hadn’t yet read.

Sadly, there is no indication of

which books specifically SUBMITTED BY JUNE WARBURTON

prompted the crime. Vice.com

87

TRAVEL

Never Cease

88 may 2020

Is it possible to experience too much
beauty and too many spectacular vistas?

Iceland might put you to the test

BY Diane Vadino

FROM HEMISPHERES MAGAZINE FOR UNITED AIRLINES

elan or

p ls this o

at pla Far , offer a

u ea n

he u b alis

89

READER’S DIGEST
W
e have sailed west, The whales cannot be trusted to ap-
into the centre of pear on cue, our North Sailing guide
Skjálfandi Bay. says. This is the North Atlantic, not
Everything around SeaWorld.

our ship – land, sea, And so we wait. I email my land-
lord, my boss and a woman who
sky – is some variation of grey, except wants to buy an antique vase from
me. But then we hear it: a whale sur-
for our full-length, cherry-red surviv- facing, exhaling air through its blow-
hole. It sounds like a massive, wet
al suits. My seasick fellow passengers poof. Then, suddenly, a slick black
tail flips up and down into the water.
haul themselves to the guardrail and Everyone on the boat rushes in the
direction of the whale, slipping on
peer stoically into the distance. the wet deck.

At first, the wildlife is limited to The whale, a humpback, skims
the surface desultorily before div-
birds: gannets, Arctic terns, black ing again. It’s soon trailed by a boat
from a competing tour company,
guillemots with white patches on whose passengers look exactly like PHOTOS: PREVIOUS SPREAD COURTESY OF ELEVEN EXPERIENCE. THIS SPREAD SHUTTERSTOCK
us, except their suits are black and
their wings. But we are not here for f luorescent yellow. At times, the
whale swims just below the surface,
birds. perhaps 15 metres from us, so we see
only its massive outline.
All of us – I hear Japanese, French,
Another boat arrives, its passen-
English, German, Scandinavian lan- gers clad in neon orange. The boats
follow the whales. Sometimes we get
guages that I can’t distinguish from the best view; sometimes another
boat does.
one another – are here for whales.
A rhythm establishes itself: tedi-
um, the majesty of whales, tedium,
the majesty of whales. The majes-
ty, though, is cumulative: before we
turn and head back to the small port
at the town of Húsavík, Iceland’s
whale-watching capital, we have
seen a dozen of them (or the same
whale a dozen times; who can say for

90 May 2020

Wonders Never Cease

Above: Goðafoss is just one of Iceland's many spectacular waterfalls.
Opposite: Whale watching in Skjálfandi Bay rewards the patient

sure?), flipping and swimming and broadcasts around the world. Now,
turning tail in the water. the supremely photogenic country
welcomes so many tourists – 2.3 mil-
As we disembark, I feel euphoric. I lion in 2018 – that visitors outnum-
want whales everywhere to be happy ber residents by a ratio of almost
and safe. seven to one.

N ot long ago, Iceland was a I’ve been to Iceland several times
spectacularly beautiful but before, but like many visitors, I stayed
seldom visited wonderland in and around the capital, Reykjavík,
of waterfalls, volcanoes and geysers exploring only as far as the Golden
in the lonely North Atlantic, still Circle. The attractions on this well-
finding its national feet after centu- worn circuit – Þingvellir National
ries of Norwegian and Danish rule. Park, the Gullfoss waterfall, Geysir
Then, the economic crisis of 2008–09 – are spectacular. They are also very,
turned the country upside down – very popular, meaning that they are
and made the once prohibitively ex- in some ways victims of their own ex-
pensive destination affordable. ceptional success.

A year later, the air traffic–halt- So, on the day after the whale
ing eruptions of the Eyjafjallajökull watching, I’ve decided to embark on
volcano landed Iceland, in all its a self-drive trip: the Diamond Circle
geothermal splendour, on news tour. Leaving Húsavík at 6.30am,

91

READER’S DIGEST

I take a meandering 80-kilometre The lodge offers myriad activities,
drive to Dettifoss, Europe’s most from helicopter skiing in the winter
powerful waterfall by volume and to salmon fishing and kayaking in
the location used for the opening the nearby fjord in warmer months.
scene in Ridley Scott’s Prometheus. It Equipment for all these activities is
is staggering, monumental. stored in the ‘toy box’, a hut stocked
with snowmobiles, hiking boots,
From there, I head south then snowshoes – anything you might
west to Mývatn, a wild expanse of a need for expeditions big and small.
lake that looks broody when the sun
ducks behind the clouds, and like Not feeling particularly sporty, I opt
a sparkling turquoise field when it for an easy hike into the surrounding
emerges. hills. This gives Laki and me plenty of
time to discuss the best way to trav-
My next stop is Goðafoss, another el through Iceland. “The weather has
waterfall. It’s more approachable than such a huge impact on what you’re
Dettifoss – literally, in that it seems able to do here,” he says. “The thing to
less like the sort of thing you fall into do is check the weather in the morn-
by accident, never to be seen again. ing and go where it’s good.”
All things being equal, I prefer Goða-
foss (pretty) to Dettifoss (existential). That’s easy, I say, if you didn’t
have to make hotel reservations
My fourth stop is the reason for my six months in advance. “If you can,
non-leisurely pace: Deplar Farm, an being flexible is better,” he replies.
unassuming yet gorgeous hotel in the “Imagine the sort of adventure you’d
Fljót Valley that’s a magnet for the have if you just rent a car and follow
sort of finance executive or celebrity the weather, if you truly go and ex-
seeking a no-expense-spared vaca- plore a world that’s beautiful, pris-
tion. “You’re going to Deplar!” a guide tine.” I can imagine it.
I meet at Mývatn exclaims when I
share my itinerary. “They’ve got the Afterward, there is yoga, a mas-
biggest toy box in the country.” Justin sage and the opportunity to soak in
Timberlake, he adds, is a fan. an outdoor pool. (I hope to see the
northern lights, but clouds scupper
I don’t understand what ‘toy box’ my ambitions.) Dinner is served at
means until a couple of hours later, nine, and it is tremendous: beef me-
when I see it while trailing behind my dallions with beets and Jerusalem
guide, a mountaineer/artist named artichokes, all locally sourced.
Thorlakur Ingolfsson. He goes by
Laki, which is pronounced ‘Loki’, like I’ve stayed in hotels all over the
the god/Avengers villain. Guests at world, and Deplar just might be the
Deplar are paired with a guide, and best. Before I fall asleep, I send im-
I am lucky Laki is mine. ploring emails to my friends, with

92 May 2020

Wonders Never Cease

The 74.5-metre observation tower of the Hallgrímskirkja Lutheran church offers
sweeping views of Reykjavík and beyond

pictures of the property – even in an and ancient. The exterior looks like a
all-day mist, with low, grey clouds, it fighter jet sitting upright or, equally,
is stunning – asking them to return where elves in a Tolkien book might
with me. worship while the interior resembles
the Lutheran churches of my child-
I n the morning, I leave Deplar hood. At 74.5 metres, the observa-
Farm with regret, after a break- tion tower offers superb, 360-degree
fast of delicious, crepe-like Ice- views of Reykjavík, the harbour and
landic pancakes with powdered the mountains to the north.
sugar and berries. From here, it’s a
five-hour drive to Reykjavík under Three hundred and twenty kilo-
sullen skies. Even without any sun- metres of driving followed by some
shine, the scenery is dizzying; I have intense church viewing means that
to fight the impulse to pull over and I’m both ready for a walk and starv-
take photos at every turn. ing – so I head towards Grandi, a one-
time industrial, now up-and-coming
Reykjavík is so compact that it’s area by the harbour that’s home to
easy to see a lot, fast. I begin with the Reykjavík’s oldest restaurant, Kaf-
city’s most distinctive landmark: the fivagninn. Here, I have a plate of light
Hallgrímskirkja Lutheran church, and crisp fish and chips (basically
which looks somehow both Art Deco the official meal of Reykjavík).

93

READER’S DIGEST

The Blue Lagoon bathing complex then I see the artist himself. I know it PHOTO: SHUTTERSTOCK
uses the water run-off from a makes sense that an artist would be
nearby geothermal plant working in his own studio, but it is too
great. I stop and stare, then run away
Re-energised, I head to my second as quickly as I can. (If you couldn’t
stop in Grandi: Studio Olafur Elias- tell, I’m a fan.)
son. If you don’t recognise Eliasson’s
name, you may know his work: he I have one more stop in Reykjavik:
installed waterfalls that seemed to Brauð & Co., which makes what might
hover 30 metres above New York’s be the finest pretzels in the world. I
East River in 2008 – and, later, above buy three (one for now, one for the
the Grand Canal at the Palace of Ver- very near future, one for a post-dinner
sailles, just outside Paris. He is also snack) and head to the heliport. The
the author of my favourite book about weather has cleared, and the sky is
Iceland, a collection of 35 images, cloudless for my flight with Reykjavík
submitted by Icelanders, of their cars Helicopters, which I share with a Brit-
stuck in rivers (title: Cars in Rivers). ish woman and her teenage daughter.

The studio, which is open to the We fly to a geothermal area, with
public, is in a former fish factory. I burbling hot pots and steam vents.
wander past Eliasson’s works, in- Sheep cling to the side of a hill, un-
cluding Untitled (Spiral), a tall spiral doubtedly enjoying the warmth: it’s
of metal spinning up (or down), and like standing above a laundry vent,
except it smells of sulphur instead of
fabric softener.

The Brits and I trade travel sugges-
tions. They report particular enthu-
siasm for their northern lights tour.
“We saw them the first night, and
it was nothing special,” the mother
says. “But the second night – truly
one of the most wonderful things
I’ve ever seen.” They show me an
app that provides a positive forecast
for tonight’s aurora borealis. Like the
whales, the northern lights may ap-
pear. Or, they may not.

As we fly back to Reykjavík, we
agree that it’s all spectacular: the
lakes and mountains, the Eyjafjal-
lajökull volcano in the distance.

94 May 2020

Wonders Never Cease

ACTIVITIES September to TRAVEL TIPS crucial to the Icelandic
April is the best time to culture – and their
view the aurora borealis. Húsavík, Reykjavík and customs must be
If possible, get away from other ports year round. respected. Before
built-up areas and other Iceland’s rich feeding entering a public pool,
sources of man-made grounds attract more take a shower. (No
light, plan your viewing than 20 whale species – clothes. Not optional.)
for clear nights and which ones you see will “You need to shower,
consult the aurora depend on the time of naked, at the pool
forecast (en.vedur.is/ year and where you are. before going in,” she
weather/forecasts/ says. “Not showering
aurora). Whale-watching POOL ETIQUETTE really does upset the
tours are run out of local population.”
Swimming pools, says
Alda Sigmundsdóttir,
author of The Little Book
of Tourists in Iceland, are

But is this more marvellous than name and retreat to my room – spe-
the whales? The continent’s most cifically, to the tub positioned in front
powerful waterfall? The view from of floor-to-ceiling windows and the
Hallgrímskirkja? shockingly turquoise water outside.

If there is a problem with Iceland, It’s about time for bed, but first, I
it’s that the spectacular becomes take a look outside for the aurora.
everyday. Can you burn out on natural When I don’t see it, I feel not disap-
beauty? I may be at that point. I head pointment but relief. At a certain
to The Retreat, the new five-star hotel point, so much beauty feels immod-
attached to the Blue Lagoon bathing erate. Also, it’s good to have one
complex near the airport in Keflavík. more reason – besides the whales
and the volcanoes and the puffins
In the pool, I watch an Instagram and the quiet – to come back.
influencer do a photoshoot, surely a
daily occurrence here. At this point, FROM HEMISPHERES, © 2019 BY INK FOR UNITED
I take my directions from the hotel’s AIRLINES, UNITEDMAGS.COM

Can I Have a Mysterious Manor Please?

All I want for my birthday is for a wealthy benefactor to
bequeath me a sprawling Victorian mansion with a dark

and terrible secret. @FINGERBIASTER

95

96 may 2020

ANIMAL KINGDOM

A devastating loss
left her family distraught –
until a furry friend came along

BY Alexandria Barton-D’souza

“I can’t believe we have a dog,ILLUSTRATION: GETTY IMAGESmuch. I froze. David was terminally
Mum!” my daughter Ananya ill with a condition that was sapping
exclaimed, watching our new all his strength and energy. “How
puppy curled up in her basket. can I look after you and a new pup?”
I couldn’t believe it either. Ever I asked him. Growing up with dogs, I
since she was little, Ananya had al- knew how demanding a pet could be.
ways wanted a dog. I was often tempt- We didn’t need a puppy. Not now. But
ed to get her one, but how could I ever David was determined, and began
forget that day when, at five years old, looking for one.
her terrified howls had us running
out in a panic, only to find that my As the disease progressed, how-
sister’s dog had gotten a bit too close! ever, the quest for a new puppy was
Clearly, she was yet to get comforta- forgotten. All through David’s illness
ble with a four-legged friend. though, I watched our little girl. She
But one day in the summer of 2015, was busy with school and extra-
Ananya, all of 12, walked into the curricular activities, but there was
room and asked for a dog once more. confusion in her young eyes. When
“I’m not frightened any longer,” she we lost him eventually, Ananya
announced. This time, my husband retreated into a shell. She grew qui-
David told me that he was going to et and pensive. I’d find her staring at
get Ananya the dog she wanted so the TV screen, but lost in a world of
her own. I held her close, her young

97

READER’S DIGEST

friends comforted her in the way that family dog. A year later, one sunny

12 year olds do, teachers watched April day, our golden cocker spaniel

over her and my large family tried to puppy came home. I was reassured

keep things normal. Nothing seemed when her tail wagged the first time

to work. I have to do something, I told we spoke to her. She was curious

myself. I felt so helpless. And then it about her new environment as well.

struck me. The dog her father want- All good signs, I thought in relief. I

ed to get her! It didn’t matter whether had, after all, decided on the puppy

she was frightened of dogs or not; she just by looking at a picture on social

needed a distraction. media. That she looked adorable,

And so I picked up the hunt. There made it final. “She’s yours,” I told

were so many things to keep in mind. Ananya, “give her a name.”

I had an ageing mother-in-law. Would “Sandie,” she said after trying out a

she be able to handle the endless few. As I watched them run through

energy a young dog brought with the house, Sandie’s long, silky ears

it? We lived close to a busy street in flapping behind her, I prayed that she

a building where the gate was nev- would be the companion my 13 year

er shut. What if the old sorely needed.

dog bolted out and SANDIE WAS My joy of add-
into traffic? Male or HYPERACTIVE, ing a new member
female? And which CONSTANTLY to the family was
breed would best suit short-lived, howev-

a family with a young CHASING US, er. Sandie was a hy-
child and a senior? NIPPING AND peractive puppy who
Golden retriever or constantly chased
German shepherd? BITING us, nipping and bit-

The hyperactive bea- ing at our ankles and

gle or an enthusias- hands. Sometimes

tic boxer? I was confused. The local she snarled. All this worried me. It’s

vet summed it up best, asking me to normal puppy behaviour, I was told.

look ahead. “Once your daughter’s “You’ve got a good dog,” the vet as-

school work increases,” she said, sured me, “She’ll settle down soon.”

“and she gets busy, you will have to But ner vous a nd over whelmed,

look after the dog on your own. Go Ananya began staying away from

for a small breed,” she advised. That Sandie. One day, I found her curled

made sense. After reading about up in an armchair, her feet perched

different breeds, I homed in on the high up over the back of a sofa. There

cocker spaniel, a breed with a calm was no way Sandie could come close

temperament that made for a good to her. Her grandma closed the door

98 May 2020