Reader's Digest AU NZ 03.2020

THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS!

BY Nathaniel Basen

BIG GULP Marine conservationist BIRTHDAY” along with his phone
number. It went viral, and constant
Rainer Schimpf was adjusting his calls from as far away as Kenya tied
camera while snorkelling off the up his phone line for days. Ferry got
South African shoreline last year a new number – no word on if he’s
when everything went dark. Schimpf shared it with his sons.
felt a tight compression, and realised
what had happened: he was sitting in A SIZZLING SCOOP In August
the mouth of a Bryde’s whale.
2017, a kitchen worker at a Texas
Knowing that Bryde’s whales dive juvenile detention centre noticed
after feeding, Schimpf prepared a strange delivery – 375 kg of beef
for a descent. As they plunged fajitas, an item they had never served
underwater, Schimpf’s host clocked on the menu. Turns out, since at
its mistake and pushed the passenger least 2008, the prison’s food services
back out the way he’d come. Schimpf administrator had been ordering
was relieved to be free – and thrilled fajitas for the centre, but instead of
that his boatmate had caught the them going to the kitchen, he sold
whale of a tale on camera. them to a nearby restaurant owner
and pocketed the profits.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY The lead-up to
Six days after the delivery that
Chris Ferry’s 62nd birthday in March Gilberto Escamilla
last year was bizarre. Instead of just failed to intercept,
notes from family and friends, he was arrested,
Ferry estimates the New Jersey swiftly ending
insurance agent received a decade-long,
250,000 calls and texts from
around the world. US$1.2-million crime.
Escamilla pleaded
His sons, Chris and guilty to theft by a
Michael, had bought public servant and was
billboard space sentenced to 50 years in
near Atlantic City prison, meaning the case
and posted “WISH was all wrapped up.
MY DAD A HAPPY

49

READER’S DIGEST

LET’S KEEP PHOTOS: SHUTTERSTOCK
ANTIBIOTICS

WOR K I NG

BY Susannah Hickling

50 March 2020

PUBLIC HEALTH

The increasing resistance of bacteria

to antibiotics is a global threat. We all have

a share in the fight to overcome it
“A box of amoxi-
cillin, please,” I THE DISCOVERY OF PENICILLIN
asked the shop
a s s i s t a nt . I’d 90 years ago revolutionised medi-
had a tip-off you cine. “Before antibiotics, thousands
died from bacterial diseases, such as
pneumonia, or infection following

c ou ld bu y a n- surgery,” explains Monnet, head of

tibiotics without a prescription in the ECDC’s disease programme on

this grocery store serving the Polish antibiotic resistance. Antibiotics now

community in a town in the rural prevent women dying after child-

west of England. birth, pre-term babies succumbing to

Sure enough, no questions asked, bugs they’re too weak to fight off, and
she reached into a cabinet next to the elderly people perishing from uri-

checkout and pulled out a packet of nary tract or gastrointestinal infec-
penicillin from a variety of drugs. I tions. They zap bacteria responsible

paid £15.29, thanked her and left with for infections ranging from acne to
24 tablets. Neither she nor I had any tuberculosis and are used to treat and

idea whether they were the appropri- prevent illness in livestock as well as
ate treatment, how many times a day I humans.

should take them or for how long. But these miracle drugs are losing

It is illegal in most of the world, their power because of overuse and

including the UK and Poland, to misuse. As a result, we are in danger

dispense antibiotics without a pre- of entering what the World Health

scription from a medical profession- Organization (WHO) has called “a

al. But my purchase wasn’t just against post-antibiotic era in which common
the law, it was also contributing to infections and minor injuries can

what Dominique Monnet of the Eu- once again kill.” In this scenario, Mon-
ropean Centre for Disease Prevention net says, “organ transplants, cancer

and Control (ECDC) calls “a major chemotherapy, intensive care and
public health threat” – the increasing other medical procedures would no

resistance of bacteria to antibiotics. longer be possible. Bacterial diseases

51

READER’S DIGEST

would spread and could no longer be medicines, with the strongest capable
treated.” One recent landmark report of surviving. This is more likely to hap-
estimated that without urgent action, pen if the treatment is unnecessary,
antimicrobial resistance would kill ten too short or too long, at too weak a
million people a year by 2050 – more dose, or not targeted at a specific bug.
than will die from cancer, according to
the WHO. Resistance means that doctors have
to use ever more potent antibiotics to
Currently, at least 700,000 peo- combat some infections. Some last-
ple worldwide die each year due to line antibiotics – treatments of last
drug-resistant diseases, including resort – are beginning to fail. Bac-
230,000 people who die from multi- teria that are now resistant to many
drug-resistant tuberculosis, accord- antibiotics include those that cause
ing to the WHO. “Antibiotic resist- pneumonia, meningitis, urinary tract
ance is not a future threat,” points out infections (UTIs), gonorrhoea, surgi-
Andreas Sandgren, deputy head of cal site infections like methicillin-re-
ReAct Europe, an independent organ- sistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA),
isation that urges action on antibiotic diarrhoea, bloodstream infections
resistance. “It is profoundly affecting such as sepsis, malaria, skin infections
us and causing many deaths now.” including impetigo, and TB.

“We need to protect the antibiot- New antibiotics aren’t being devel-
ics we’ve got by reducing exposure to oped fast enough to keep pace with
them as much as possible and develop resistance. “A lot of big pharmaceuti-
new agents to replace the ones we’ve cal companies have withdrawn from
got,” says medical microbiologist antibiotic development, because it is
Dr Nicholas Brown, head of Antibi- high risk,” explains Dr Brown. “It costs
otic Action, a global initiative to raise between $500 million and $1 billion
awareness of drug resistance. to take a drug to market and get reg-
ulatory approval for it to be used. The
HOW DID WE GET HERE? “Resist- fallout rate is high – only about one in
ance is inevitable and is a natu- 25 drugs actually make it to market.
ral phenomenon that has always In that situation the drug companies
occurred following exposure to an- never get any reimbursement for the
tibiotics,” says Dr Brown. “The more money they put in.” Add to that the
we use antibiotics, the more resistance fact that antibiotics have to be used as
will emerge and the less effective they sparingly as possible to delay resist-
become.” ance, and it’s clear there’s scant in-
centive for drug companies to invest
Bacteria, rather than people, be- in new ones.
come resistant to antibiotics. The
germs mutate in response to these Promising new antibiotics in the

52 March 2020

Keep Antibiotics Working

pipeline include the soil-derived teix- prescription. One in five Europeans

obactin and cefiderocol. But in 2017 took antibiotics for colds or flu in

the WHO warned that only eight of the 2018, even though antibiotics don’t

51 therapies in development to treat kill viruses.

antibiotic-resistant pathogens were However, one country that has long

innovative treatments that could add embraced good antibiotic stewardship

value to existing drugs. is Sweden. The rapid spread of pen-

EUROPE’S icillin-resistant ear infections among
TROUBLING TRENDS children in the early 1990s acted as
a wake-up call. It led to the creation

“THERE IS A LARGE in 1995 of Strama, a

VARIATION in the strategic programme

level of consumption tackling antibiotic

of antibiotics among resistance at local,

European countries,” regional and na-

says Sandgren of Re- “THE MORE tional levels. Today,
Act Europe. Accord- WE USE local multi-profes-
ing to the ECDC, sional groups work
people in Spain, ANTIBIOTICS, with GPs, while the
France, Romania THE MORE government funds
and Poland are the RESISTANCE a national executive
biggest consum- group. There is rigor-
ers. Meanwhile, the WILL EMERGE” ous monitoring both

Dutch, Estonians and of antibiotic prescrib-

Swedes use them ing and resistance,

very little. In the Netherlands and and a target of no more than 250 pre-

Sweden, there is a downward trend, scriptions a year per 1000 inhabitants.

with Germany, Italy, Norway and the Keeping prescribers up to date is

UK also showing decreasing use. crucial. “There are constantly new

At least 80 percent of antibiotics are studies being done and today we

prescribed in the community, mostly know that there are few, relatively

by family doctors. But people can also small sub-groups of respiratory tract

get them on the internet, directly from infections that fare better with anti-

pharmacies, and even – as I found – in biotics than without,” says Lars Blad,

other shops. Sometimes people pass chairman of the Strama Network and

unused tablets to friends or family WHO consultant on containing anti-

members. A 2017 European Union biotic resistance. “These studies are

(EU) report found that seven per cent continuously taken into modern and

of antibiotics were taken without updated treatment guidelines.”

53

READER’S DIGEST

Now doctors can often advise can only remember one occasion an-

patients to wait two to three days to yone in her family used antibiotics:

see if an upper respiratory tract infec- when her eldest daughter had pneu-

tion will clear of its own accord. monia at the age of nine.

It has worked. Outpatient antibiot-

ic prescriptions dropped 43 per cent THE FIGHT AGAINST ANTIBIOTIC

over 24 years, 73 per cent among resistance is taking place in other

children. There has also been a shift parts of the world, too, such as in

away from broad spectrum to narrow Singapore, Malaysia and Southeast

spectrum antibiotics, Asia. In Singapore,

which target specific THE RACE IS as in many other
bugs and reduce the ON TO FIND countries, up to 50
development of re- ALTERNATIVE per cent of infections
sistance. At the same WEAPONS IN acquired in hospi-
time, levels of resist- THE FIGHT tals are resistant to
ant bacteria – always front-line antibiotic
low – have remained AGAINST therapies. This is il-
stable. SUPERBUGS lustrated by a high
incidence of methi-
The secret of

Strama’s success? cillin resistance in

“ Fe e d b a c k ,” s a y s MRSA infections

Dr Stephan Sten- (which are caused by

mark, chairman a type of staph bac-

of the Strama Pro- teria). Both Malaysia

gramme Council. “You must work and Singapore are among the coun-

with clinicians and show them your tries that have launched action plans

data, not as the antibiotic police but to prevent the spread of drug-resist-

as a colleague. GPs were involved ant infections. The plans aim to re-

all the way in the development of duce national human consumption

national guidelines.” of antibiotics and the volume of anti-

He also cites the importance of the biotic use in food production.

media in winning over the public. Given that all antibiotics will even-

“Without the media, it would nev- tually develop resistance, there is

er have worked. We wouldn’t have heightened interest in finding alter-

been able to afford big information native weapons in the fight against

campaigns.” superbugs. One possible solution is

Lisa Österlund, 50, from Stockholm, bacteriophages. These naturally oc-

is proof of the change in attitudes. The curring viruses attack bacteria and

librarian and mother of three children have been popular in eastern and

54 March 2020

central European countries for many Keep Antibiotics Working
years. However, clinical trials of
phages are needed and, as Dr Brown HOW TO COMBAT
points out, at present “it’s difficult to ANTIBIOTIC RESISTANCE
pinpoint which bacteriophage you
need and when you would use it.” ◆ Wash your hands regularly with
soap and water for 20 seconds.
“Antibody therapy specifically tar-
geting a certain bacterium could be ◆ Favour hand washing over
useful,” suggests Utrecht’s Professor antibacterial gels.
Bonten. Scientists from the German
Cancer Research Centre in Heidel- ◆ Avoid antibacterial wipes and
berg, recently succeeded in using an- sprays when cleaning surfaces.
tibodies from healthy people to attach
to sugar structures on Klebsiella pneu- ◆ Don’t ask your doctor for
moniae bacteria to protect against antibiotics.
common antibiotic-resistant hospital
infections such as pneumonia, UTIs ◆ Never take them if they’re
and septicaemia. not prescribed.

At the European Molecular Biology ◆ Take them exactly as directed.
Laboratory, scientists have been look- ◆ Keep your vaccinations
ing at combining existing antibiotics
with other types of drugs, and even up to date.
food additives, to make them more ◆ Prepare and cook food properly,
effective. They found that vanillin,
which gives vanilla its flavour, helped and keep raw meat separate from
the antibiotic spectinomycin to en- vegetables and eating utensils.
ter bacterial cells and inhibit their ◆ When you fall ill, stay at home
growth. Spectinomycin had been used and rest.
to treat gonorrhoea, but has largely
fallen out of circulation due to antibi- 55
otic resistance.

Until these twinkles in scientists’
eyes become a treatment reality, we all
need to join the battle to cut unneces-
sary and inappropriate use of antibi-
otics. “Each of us has an individual
share of the common responsibility
for keeping antibiotics working in the
future,” says Monnet of the ECDC.

READER’S DIGEST

56 March 2020

SEE THE WORLD...
Turn the page ››
57

READER’S DIGEST

58 March 2020

...DIFFERENTLY

A picture tells a thousand
words… or in this case,
hundreds of thousands of
characters! In her Universe of
Words installation, architect
and artist Emmanuelle
Moureaux hung 140,000
multi-coloured hiraganas –
one of three main character
sets used in the Japanese
language – to create a vivid yet
tranquil installation at a Tokyo
exhibition in July 2019.
During the Japanese Tanabata
festival, people write their
hopes and dreams on coloured
pieces of paper and hang
them on bamboo branches.
Emmanuelle reimagined this
tradition to create a swaying
world of words using nothing
but paper, thread and
100 different colours.

DESIGN: EMMANUELLE MOUREAUX
PHOTOS: DAISUKE SHIMA

readersdigest.com.au 59

READER’S DIGEST

LAUGHTER

The Best Medicine

“Do you think it’s wise to move away from Solar Energy?” CARTOON BY HARLEY SCHWADRON. ILLUSTRATION: GETTY IMAGES

Signs of Life Why would you post that sign?”
“Because,” says the owner,
As the customer approaches a shop,
he notices this large sign on the “before I posted that sign, people
door: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! kept tripping over him.”
He carefully enters the shop, but
once inside all he sees is a fat old dog p e t c e nt r a l .c h e w y.c o m
asleep on the floor. “Is that the dog
folks are supposed to beware of?” Undermined
he asks the shop owner.
My wife keeps telling everyone that
“Yep, that’s him,” the owner says. she can read their minds, but she
“He doesn’t look dangerous to me. never can. She’s telepathetic.

60 march 2020 SUBMITTED BY BRAD BRIDGWATER

Laughter

On the Flop DEVIL OF A READ

What do you call a lazy baby Librarian/humorist Roz
kangaroo? A pouch potato. Warren took to Facebook to ask
her librarian friends a question:
SUBMITTED BY JACOB SCHOLL if they died and were sent to
hell, which they discovered
Fresh Talk had just one book available
to read, what would it be?
Farmer McDonald set up a roadside Here’s the literature worthy
stand to sell his fresh vegetables, of Satan’s bookshelf:
and a very curious customer asked
McDonald if his tomatoes were “The manual to our office
genetically modified. phone system.”

“No, not at all,” said the tomatoes. “Dante’s Inferno; it would
be like having a Frommer’s
theirishgifthouse.com travel guide.”

Rolling in It “The second book in a trilogy.”

A plumber fixes a “My ex’s diary.”
leak in a doctor’s
house, then bills “Brimstone for Dummies.”
him for $1000.
“The Bible, so I could look
“This is for loopholes.”
ridiculous!”
the doctor says.
“I don’t even charge
that much.”

The plumber says,
“Neither did I when
I was a doctor.”

theplumbinginfo.com

CHEESY BITE
Q: How did the hipster

burn his mouth?

A: He ate the pizza before

it was cool.

61

FAMILY

HTaaePlrekLrtsiokoen
As a parent to Fiona, my five-year-old daughter
with a rare syndrome, I spend a lot of time
teaching others to treat her with respect

BY Heather Lanier F R O M T O DAY’ S PA R E N T

T he wheelchair mechanic “Just the passenger,” he says gruffly.
knocks at the door. My I hurry, and when Fiona is all laced
husband, Justin, answers, up, I lift her to her feet and send her
and a hefty man wearing over. In a thump-thump rhythm of

steel-toed shoes comes deliberate, confident steps, she walks

through our kitchen carrying a small to her wheelchair, a lean, glimmer-

tool box. It’s 2016 and I’m in the living ing machine custom-made for her. ILLUSTRATION: GRACIA LAM

room, strapping orthotics on my five She almost never uses it now that

year old, Fiona. The mechanic stands she walks, but when she needed it

beside her empty wheelchair, which once this past year, her legs looked

is waiting in the dining room. cramped. So the mechanic will

“Do you need anything from us?” tweak it.

I call out, pulling the laces of her He looks down past his belly to my

shoe tight. one-metre-tall child. Although Fiona

62 March 2020

63

READER’S DIGEST

eats her weight in cheese, she’s very “Okay, honey,” he says again in a

thin and a head shorter than kids her high-pitched voice. “Let’s have you

age. “Hi there,” he says in a pitch usu- come out.”

ally reserved for chihuahuas. But before she can stand on the

I get up from the carpet. I’m going footrest and lower herself down, he

to have to do the thing. It’s a thing grabs her around the waist and pulls

I don’t always even realise I’m doing her out of her chair himself. I cal-

in the moment, and yet I’m compelled culate that my methods have so far

to do it with regularity. I’m going to failed.

have to show someone that Fiona The footrest is the only thing to

understands, that she’s not a dog but fix, so the mechanic is in and out,

a human. and my work as a parent is minimal.

My daughter, who has Wolf- But it finally dawns on me how much

Hirschhorn syn- “SHE’S A SMALL, invisible labour I do.
drome, a rare chro- THIN, WEAK...” Fiona and I have
mosomal deletion, PERSON, I THOUGHT.
is largely non-verbal, SAY “PERSON”. been visiting a lot
and the words she BUT INSTEAD of doctors and spe-
can say aren’t usual- THE DOCTOR cialists lately. They
ly intelligible to peo- SAID, “THING” demand chunks of
ple who don’t spend time (sometimes full
a lot of time with days), they cost pet-
her. “Hat” is some- rol (sometimes a half
times “ha”. “Daddy” tank) and they cause
stress (sometimes

is “geggy”. Strangers immeasurable) as

don’t immediately know how to relate my husband and I figure out the

to her. They assume Fiona doesn’t un- logistics of who will pick up whom,

derstand them. I often need to show and when and where; we also have

them that she does. How do I do it? a three-year-old daughter. But they

I use a normal voice. I talk to her like also cost the energy that goes into

a person. I presume that she under- subtly advocating for Fiona. It’s a

stands me, which she often does. bullet point in my job description. In

“All right, Fiona,” I say, “go ahead addition to my career as a writer and

and climb into your wheelchair.” She adjunct writing professor, I’ve got

places a leg on the footrest and tries to make sure medical professionals

to figure out how to get her body into speak to Fiona with respect so that

the seat. With some assistance, she she can preserve her sense of dignity.

gets there. The mechanic notices that I’ve got to make sure they appreciate

the footrest needs to be lowered. that she comprehends them.

64 March 2020

Talk to Her Like a Person

“Does she show that she under- thought. Say “person”. But instead the
stands you?” the ear, nose and throat doctor said, “thing.”
doctor asked me the other day while
Fiona sat on my lap. He could have A small, thin, weak thing. It’s prob-
assessed her himself. She was, after ably the last way I want my child to
all, right in front of him. Instead, he hear herself described.
went through me. “If you ask her to
do something, does she do it?” Friends suggested I rage, call the
doctor’s boss, find another physician.
“Yesss,” I said, willing myself not to But paediatric specialists are few and
roll my eyes. I wondered what it must far between, and Fiona wouldn’t have
be like for my girl to have to hear this any other options.
kind of talk about herself all the time.
My family and I often have to work
Minutes later, the doctor led us into with specific medical professionals,
a soundproof, white-walled room, so poor bedside manner or not. So a few
muffled that when I spoke, it felt like weeks later, I called the doctor. I told
my ears had been stuffed with cotton. her Fiona indeed can understand
He sat on the other side of soundproof quite a lot. I quoted her back to her-
glass and asked Fiona to point to dif- self: “small, thin, weak thing”.
ferent parts of her face. She obliged
happily for several minutes. When we She gasped. “I’m so sorry!” she
exited the room and returned to his said.
office, he declared in a loud, bombas-
tic voice, “Well, she’s not deaf!” I said I didn’t want my kid going
through life hearing people describe
It was unbelievable. If he had real- her in those terms.
ised what I’d already told him about
my daughter, which is that she can “I’m so sorry!” she said again, and
hear and understand, then why was I sensed she truly was. I asked her to
he still talking about her rather than be more mindful of her speech. “Of
to her? course,” she said.

This happens all the time. At the next visit, this doctor spoke
The worst instance was a few weeks directly to Fiona.
ago at another appointment. A doctor
was assessing one of my daughter’s It’s a taxing part of my job as the
medical issues. She gazed down at mother of a kid with disabilities. I
Fiona, who stood directly in front of shouldn’t have to do it, but I do. One
her, returning the gaze. Even though person at a time, through subtle cues
this doctor looked at my daughter, she or direct conversations, I try to teach
still spoke to me. “I mean,” she started, people: my kid is a person. Just talk to
“she’s a small, thin, weak…” Person, I her like a person.

FROM ‘PLEASE TREAT MY DAUGHTER LIKE
SHE’S HUMAN’, TODAY’S PARENT (SEPTEMBER/
OCTOBER 2017), © 2017, BY HEATHER LANIER.
TODAYSPARENT.COM

65

READER’S DIGEST

Snack
YouHr Weaay tlotBhetter
Nibbling between meals has had bad press in
recent years. In fact, snacking can be good for you

BY Dawn Yanek

To snack or not to snack? and mental. So, grab a banana – or a PHOTOS: MATTHEW COHEN
That is the question ... for handful of peanuts – and read on.
doctors, for nutritionists,
and for you, as you try to WEIGHT LOSS
decide what to do about
your grumbling stomach when it’s Can snacking help you drop a few kilo-
nowhere close to mealtime. grams? Yes, but nutritionists’ insight
into what works has changed. They
The short answer: have the snack. once thought that eating more fre-
Snacking has fallen out of favour in quently could boost your metabolism
certain dieting circles, thanks in part – your body would be working more
to the popularity of intermittent fast- often to burn kilojoules. Alas, studies
ing, in which you restrict your food have been mixed when it comes to
intake on a periodic basis. Some peo- proving that theory.
ple interpret the paleo diet, in which
the diet-conscious attempt to imitate But a smart snack can prevent the
the food habits of our hunter-gatherer kind of unhealthy binge eating that
ancestors, as anti-snacking as well. comes from hard-core hunger. “Your
But many modern-day studies have body is always talking to you – you just
found that snacking can have positive have to listen,” says internal and func-
effects on your health, both physical tional medicine specialist Dr Robert
Graham. “So if you’re starting to feel

66 March 2020

FOOD

67

READER’S DIGEST

a little hungr don finite ount of pro-

wait.” He reco en tein p meal, says fit-

a simple ap ach: ness e ert Lisa Reed,

a three-me plan citing search in the

interspersed h two Journa of the Interna-

or three snacks tional ociety of Sports

But you ca t grab Nutrit n. Distributing

any old snack Chips, protein throughout

biscuits, crackers and the day via snacking

other simple arbo- n imise protein

hydrates boo your Choose intake. That’s espe-
blood sugar ickly, eneficial for
which ultimate leads a healthy, filling
to the sugar crash option in the e over 60. “Their
we’ve all experienced. bodies don’t use [pro-
Instead, try nuts, com- right portion size tein] as efficiently as
the bodies of younger

plex carbs and fruits. people,” she explains.

Dr Graham loves a “When seniors don’t

fibre-rich apple, in part because it’s get enough protein, they are more at

the perfect snacking size. “Nature has risk of falls and fractures.”

done a huge favour for us,” he says. Divvying up your kilojoules and

Pair it with protein-rich nut butter and nutrients into smaller meals may

you’ll feel fuller longer. also provide benefits for those wor-

OVERALL HEALTH ried about type 2 diabetes. A small
2017 study from Greece showed that

Snacking is a way to sneak a variety eating six smaller meals each day

of nutrients into your diet. Dietitian not only improved blood sugar levels

Maya Feller says you can’t go wrong but also decreased hunger in obese

with a handful of mixed nuts. With people with prediabetes or diabetes.

poly unsaturated fats, fibre, pro- In her patients trying to control sug-

tein, magnesium and calcium, nuts ar levels, says Feller, “if they have a

can help your heart. The Journal snack that’s well balanced, they’re

of Nutrition reported that eating more likely to have level blood sugar

almonds regularly can improve good readings, as opposed to the highs and

HDL cholesterol levels and remove the lows.

cholesterol from the body. Smart snacks with multiple health

Snacking on protein-rich foods benefits include fresh vegetables with

helps preserve your muscle mass and hummus, Greek yoghurt with ber-

stamina. The body can absorb only a ries, hard-boiled eggs and avocado.

68 march 2020

Snack Your Way to Better Health

FEWER MOOD SWINGS can help. A small study published in
the Journal of Clinical Neuroscience
If you’ve ever snapped at someone also found that snacking at night,
when you were hungry, you know rather than earlier in the day, decreas-
that food – or lack of – can influence es the odds of having a headache the
your mood. But when you’re ‘hangry’, next day by 40 per cent.
it’s not just because your blood sug-
ar has dropped. A study in the jour- A WORD OF CAUTION
nal Emotion revealed that hunger
has the ability to make ambiguous or Except in the case of preventing
unpleasant things seem even worse. migraines, researchers generally
Snacking helps you avoid that precar- advise skipping that midnight snack.
ious position, resulting in fewer mood People are more likely to make bad
swings and better focus. This can have food choices late at night, which can
a positive ripple effect on your day contribute to weight gain. And stud-
and your subsequent food choices. ies show that night-time snacks in-
crease problems with blood sugar
Some studies have shown that regulation, inflammation, cholesterol
healthy snacking may also improve and triglyceride levels, and cognitive
memory and cognitive performance ability. If you must have a snack at
and help alleviate mental health night, try cottage cheese. A 2018 study
issues such as anxiety and depres- published in the British Journal of
sion, says psychiatrist Dr Ashwini Nutrition found that eating 30 grams
Nadkarni. If you wait too long to eat of it 30 to 60 minutes before bedtime
between meals, your body thinks it’s can fill you up without making you
starving and releases the stress hor- gain weight.
mone cortisol to correct your glucose
levels. “Cortisol will cause the release THE BOTTOM LINE
of inflammatory substances like
cytokines and leukotrienes, which can There are different ways to go about
produce symptoms of depression and this whole snacking thing. The one
anxiety,” Dr Nadkarni explains. Snack- constant is to choose a healthy, filling
ing helps you sidestep this trap. option in an appropriate portion size.
Do that, and the benefits don’t stop at
Fasting and meal-skipping, along weight loss and improved health; your
with dehydration, are also migraine general approach to life might be
triggers. As Dr Graham explains, affected. When you snack mindfully,
“When the brain is starved of both says Dr Nadkarni, “it’s easier to take a
sugar and water, it will talk in the form deep breath, focus on exactly what
of a headache.” His prescription? In you’re eating at that moment, and
addition to drinking water, snacking enjoy the day around you.
on fresh fruit, with its natural sugars,

69

RELATIONSHIPS INSET PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE AUTHOR. LOCKET PHOTO: SHUTTERSTOCK

“I Never
Forgot You”

After more than six decades, a doomed teenage
romance gets a second chance

BY Marina Lopes

FROM THE WASHINGTON POST MAGAZINE

O n a sunny Saturday in April 2017,
the phone rang in my grandmoth-
er’s house in São Carlos, Brazil. “I’ve
been looking for you for decades,”
the man on the line whispered in
Italian. “You were my first love.”
It had been more than six decades since
my grandmother had heard the voice of Aldo
Sportelli, now 83.

70 March 2020

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READER’S DIGEST

She pictured his youthful face Biancamano, an Italian ocean liner,

and wondered what he looked like departed the Brazilian port of Santos.

now. Aldo’s voice trembled as he My grandmother was the youngest

recalled the last time he saw her in passenger in first class, which includ-

southern Italy. He had spent years ed counts, members of the Brazilian

tracking her down. aristocracy and the archbishop of Rio

For ten minutes they caught each de Janeiro.

other up on how their lives had After the ship docked in Genoa,

unfolded – both married for half Marilena and her grandparents took

a century, my grandmother wid- a train to Puglia, the heel of the boot.

owed, Aldo’s wife in the last stages of The war had been over for six years,

Alzheimer’s, kids, grandkids, careers. but destruction lingered. The rub-

“You just don’t think this type of ble, though, could not dampen the

thing will ever happen to you,” my bleached beauty of Polignano a Mare,

grandmother told me. her grandfather’s hometown. The

In 1951, when my Aldo watched as village is perched
g r a nd mot her, Marilena's train on limestone cliffs
Marilena, was on the edge of the
14, she set off pulled away. sea. As a returning
on a year-long trip It was one of the rice tycoon, Antonio
to Italy with her would stay with his
family in the Hotel

grandparents. Her saddest moments Sportelli.
grandfather, Anto- of his life The hotel was
nio Lerario, was the
three storeys, with

son of an illiterate a terrace facing the

fisherman who, in sea. Underneath,

1885 at the age of 14, had left Italy scooped into a cliff, was a vast cave

for Brazil as a stowaway. He joined that held the Grotta Palazzese luxury

thousands of Italian immigrants in restaurant. Visitors from around the

São Paulo, where he sold bags of rice world came to dine.

on the street. He eventually saved Marilena, who spent her days

enough money to open his own ware- people-watching from the hotel ter-

house and went on to create a multi- race, was never allowed into the

million-dollar cereal empire. cave. After catching some business-

After World War II, he decided to men ogling her from the restaurant,

return to Italy and invited Marilena, her grandmother, Svelte, started

his eldest granddaughter, to come shooing her to the kitchen as soon as

along. In April 1951, the SS Conte the lunch rush began. Svelte, with a

72 March 2020

“I Never Forgot You”

Marilena Lerario and Aldo Sportelli met in Polignano a Mare,
her grandfather’s hometown, when she spent a year in Italy in 1951

PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE AUTHOR tiny waist, exuded the kind of aloof, the watchful eye of a family member.
effortless glamour of a Hollywood One day, as Marilena was going
movie star. Dark curls framed her
face. She had heart-shaped lips, a down the stairs to the kitchen, Aldo
dainty nose and a curious smile. went in for a hug. Unsure of what to
do, she rushed away.
While making herself useful in the
kitchen, Marilena picked up Italian My grandmother’s family was not
and got to know the Sportelli fami- happy with the budding romance.
ly. Aldo Sportelli, one year her sen- The son of a hotel owner was not what
ior, was smitten. Lanky, with a shy they had in mind for the family heir-
smile, he would hang around the ess. Aldo’s mother told him the social
kitchen. “It was my first infatuation,” distances between him and Marilena
Aldo would tell me. They spoke about were too large to bridge. “At that time,
their plans for the future. He wanted I thought they were right,” Aldo recalls.
to become an engineer. She had no
idea what awaited her when she re- The two continued an awkward but
turned to Brazil. friendly relationship over her last few
weeks at the hotel. Before she left, she
After school, Aldo served the glam- asked him to sign her memory book.
orous patrons in the restaurant; my “Marilena, if you allow it, a friendship
grandmother spent her nights listen- can be an enduring bond,” he wrote.
ing to the music from the cave below.
Every now and then, Aldo joined When she left, he went to the station
her on the terrace, always under and watched as the train pulled away.
It was one of the saddest moments of
his life, Aldo says.

73

READER’S DIGEST Paulo, asking for information on a
Marilena Lerario. “We’re a city of
My grandmother met my 12 million people,” Aldo was told. “We
grandfather in college, and can’t help you.”
by 1969, she was married
with four children. Her In 2012, Beatrice was diagnosed
marriage was happy, but my grand- with Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.
father’s jealousy contained her curi- She eventually stopped speaking and
osity about the world. When they ate barely recognised her children. She
at restaurants, she faced the back to refused at-home care from nurses and
avoid other patrons’ wandering eyes. relied on Aldo for her every need.

Shortly after the wedding, they Finally, two decades after he started
moved three hours away from São his search, Aldo contacted the daugh-
Paulo to a town in southern Brazil. ter of a family friend who worked at
My grandfather enjoyed small-town the Brazilian tax authority. She found
life, but my grandmother struggled Marilena, and passed him her phone
to adjust. After he died, she start- number.
ed spending half the year with my
mother in Miami. When Aldo phoned that afternoon,
he told Marilena, “I never forgot you.”
Meanwhile, Aldo studied engi- My grandmother was speechless.
neering. For most of his career, he
worked on urban planning for local The next day, Aldo called again.
communities. In 1959 he met Bea- What did her children do? he
trice at a party. They married and asked. What were her days
had two children. like?
“I don’t even know what he looks
Beatrice suffered from depression, like, and we talk every day,” my grand-
and the marriage was hard on Aldo. mother said to me.
Their circle of friends was small, and
they rarely travelled. After his mother “Let’s look him up on Facebook,”
died in 1995, he came across a wed- I suggested.
ding photo of his beloved Marilena
among her letters. Her grandmother I pulled up Aldo’s photo. He had
must have sent it. white hair but the same sad eyes and
shy smile he had at 17. “He’s hand-
“I thought, Where is she? How is her some,” my grandmother said.
life?” he recalls. “The thought that I
would never hear from the girl who I suggested they communicate by
captured my boyhood heart torment- video chat. The following weekend
ed me.” And so he began his search. I went to her house and messaged
Aldo to arrange the call. My family was
Aldo tried to reach the wedding eager to see the man my grandmother
photographer, but he was long dead. wouldn’t stop talking about.
He emailed the mayor’s office of São

74 March 2020

“I Never Forgot You”

There was Aldo on the computer hometown,” Aldo had written on the

screen, beaming. “You didn’t used to card. “I hope you don’t wait another

be blonde!” he said. My grandmother 68 years to return.”

burst into giggles. The next morning we drove past

Week after week, Aldo kept calling. kilometres of twisted olive groves. My

“It is nice to have someone care about grandmother sighed and said, “It’s

me again,” my grandmother told me. interesting, isn’t it? An old lady, seeing

The messages soon grew rosier: an old man.”

heart emojis and photos of flowers. Aldo had asked us to meet him at

“For when you wake up: good morn- the church of San Vito, where Mass

ing,” he messaged once, when it was would soon be starting. When we

daytime in Italy but still dark in Brazil. pulled up to the entrance, he was

My grandmoth- waiting. With sky-

er, who had shut blue eyes hiding be-

herself off from the “So beautiful,” hind silver Ray-Ban
world, came back Aldo said, sunglasses, slicked-
to life. She began back hair and a tan
dressing up for their trembling as he jacket, he was as cool

virtual dates, putting hugged my an octogenarian as
on lipstick and fixing grandmother I’ve seen.
her hair.
My grandmother

“We have to take leaped out of the car

you back to Polig- and walked towards

nano!” my mother said one day. My him, her arms open.

grandmother rejected the idea, saying, “So beautiful,” he said, trembling as

“He has a wife!” he hugged her. She blushed and intro-

My mother was persistent, and duced him to the family. “It’s an histor-

soon Marilena called Aldo with the ic moment, a miracle,” he announced.

news. “We’ll be there for two weeks in Later, my grandmother handed

September,” she said. He agreed she Aldo two gifts. One was a new iPhone

should come. – his was old and always cutting out

Accompanied by my mother, during their conversations. “And this
my dad, my aunt, two cous- is for Beatrice,” she said, pointing to
ins and me, my grandmother the second gift. He opened it to find a
grey shawl. Aldo stared at my grand-

landed in Bari, nervous but mother, tearing up and mouthing,

smiling. When we arrived at the hotel “Thank you.”

in Polignano, a bouquet of pink roses We asked him out for lunch, but he

was waiting for her. “Welcome to your said he had to go home and relieve

75

READER’S DIGEST

Marilena and Aldo reunited in Sportelli!” a friend would PHOTO COURTESY OF THE AUTHOR
Polignano a Mare shout from across the street,
making my grandmother
the housekeeper who was watching cringe.
his wife.
On one date he brought
Aldo sent my grandmother a mes- his daughter and grandson. I
sage late that night. “There we were, was worried about what they
you and I, as if we had been good would think of my grand-
friends for 68 years, helping each mother, but all anxiety disap-
other in sorrow and rejoicing together peared when we met them.
in joy,” he wrote. “I thank God for al- Sabrina, Aldo’s daughter,
lowing me the chance to be with you.” pulled my grandmother into
a tight hug. My grandmother
They met for coffee daily, during had brought her a necklace,
the few hours he could get out which she put on right away.
of the house. My grandmother “Give Grandma Marilena a
refused to be alone with him. hug,” Sabrina told Giorgio, her
“What would people think if they saw 12-year-old son.
us together?” she said. “It looks bad.”
“It’s been a gift for Dad,”
At first I laughed this off as an Sabrina said later that day when
antiquated sense of modesty. But I asked how she felt about their rela-
everywhere we went Aldo seemed tionship. “He’s a victim of Mother’s
to run into an acquaintance. “Aldo condition.”

When we weren’t with Aldo and
his family, my grandmother want-
ed to explore Polignano. It was still a
charming hamlet with narrow lime-
stone streets leading to scenic out-
posts overlooking the sea. But much
had changed since her last visit. Red
Bull had chosen Polignano as the site
for its annual cliff-diving competition,
and the town was now overrun with
tourists.

The restaurant in the cave was still
operating, and my grandmother, who
was allowed to watch guests dine
there only from a distance at 15, want-
ed to see it up close. On one of our last

76 March 2020

nights in Polignano, we descended the “I Never Forgot You”
60 steps into the cave for dinner.
The next morning, Aldo,
When we emerged onto the deck, Sabrina and Giorgio met us at
the view took my breath away. We the hotel. We thanked them
were suspended some ten metres for their hospitality and for
above the sea. The emerald water’s making my grandmother so happy.
reflection danced against the lime- “Our family will be an extension of
stone dome of the cave. yours,” my dad said.

Aldo had refused to come because I was surprised to see tears run-
the memories of losing the nearby ning down Sabrina’s face. “Take care
Hotel Sportelli in a financial dispute of him,” my grandmother said, hug-
20  years ago were too painful. My ging her. She nodded, sobbing.
grandmother respected his decision.
Aldo took my grandmother’s hand
“Isn’t it amazing?” she said, gazing in his. “Now, I will do the hardest
out at the sea. “Only nature knows thing: turn around and walk away,”
how many millions of years this has he said.
been here.”
My grandmother didn’t allow her-
The next day, at another coffee self to indulge in the finality of the
shop, Aldo pulled out a family pho- moment. She gave Aldo one last hug,
to from 1934, and my grandmother and, as we walked away, she held up
studied it. “I met every one of them,” her phone and said: “I’ll see you
she said. “We’ve had this shared life tomorrow.”
together. Isn’t that crazy?”
Aldo and Marilena continue to speak
Aldo caught her up on what hap- daily. Marilena says she may visit
pened to each person in the photo. Italy later this year. Aldo’s wife is
still alive but her health continues to
“When do you leave?” he asked. decline. Aldo has told Marilena that
“Tomorrow,” she said. he believed her to be the love of his
They still had 40 minutes before life when they first met and that their
Aldo had to head home. After chap- reuniting was “a blessing from God”.
eroning every moment they spent
together, I left my grandmother FROM WASHINGTON POST (FEBRUARY 6, 2019), © 2019
alone to enjoy the last moments of
her last date. BY MARINA LOPES, WASHINGTONPOST.COM

Poor Timing

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was
take a day off. www.wattpad.com

77

78 March 2020

PHOTOS: OMOMOM

DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

SnTaHkEe’s

REVENGE

When Jeremy Sutcliffe decapitated
the poisonous snake threatening
his wife, he assumed that would be
the end of it. He was wrong

BY Nicholas Hune-Brown
ILLUSTRATION BY Steven P. Hughes

79

READER’S DIGEST Jennifer leaped up as the snake, a
metre long, rose into a striking posi-
efore the incident tion, with its dusty triangular head
– before his body tensed and its tail rattling. “Snake!”
became a battle- yelled Jennifer as she backed away.
ground for compet- “Snake!”
ing poisons and his
When he heard his wife’s cry, Jere-
B story the subject of my figured she’d run into one of the
zoological curiosity harmless rat snakes that often showed
– Jeremy Sutcliffe had actually liked up on the property. He grabbed a
snakes. He’d found them beautiful, shovel to shoo the creature away and
even. jogged around the house to the gar-
den. That’s when he heard the rattling.
Besides, the tattooed 40 year old His wife was cornered between some
wasn’t someone who shied away shrubbery and the wall of the house,
from wild creatures. He was an avid the snake directly in her path.
outdoorsman who took every chance
he could to camp and fish. That love He first tried to scoop up the rat-
of nature had been part of the reason tlesnake using the shovel, without
Jeremy and his wife Jennifer, 43, had success. Then he did what was nec-
recently moved to South Texas from essary: he raised the garden tool and
Kansas. The place they’d bought on brought the edge down hard through
Lake Corpus Christi, a short drive the snake’s body just below the head,
from the Gulf of Mexico, was their decapitating it.
dream home. Or that’s what it was go-
ing to be. At the moment, they were Jennifer went into the house, her
living in a trailer on their 0.4-hectare heart hammering, while Jeremy
lot, and the house was still a fixer- headed back to the garden. About ten
upper. A “total gut job,” Jeremy called minutes later, when Jennifer said she
it, with the pride of someone who was going to let their two small dogs
planned on doing the gutting himself. out, he decided to move the dead
reptile. He looked at the creature
On a steamy Sunday morning in lying limp on the ground. Its head,
May 2018, the couple was tidying attached to a stub of body, rested on
their garden in preparation for an a paving stone.
evening barbecue with their daugh-
ter and her two young children. At He bent down to pick up a stick
around 10.30am, Jeremy began mow- lying next to the snake’s head so that
ing the lawn while Jennifer worked he could flick it away. But before his
on the garden. She had just reached hand even touched the ground, the
down to grab a weed when she saw it: snake attacked – a blur of motion as
a western diamondback rattlesnake, the creature launched itself forward.
right next to her hand.

80 March 2020

The Snake’s Revenge

Burying its fangs into Jeremy’s right struggling with the rattlesnake’s
hand down to the bone, the snake head, one thought flashed through
injected venom that immediately her mind: he needs medical attention,
made his hand feel like it had been now. She ran back into the trailer to
smashed by a massive weight. “It bit get the car keys while Jeremy contin-
me!” he yelled in horror. ued to yank at the snake’s head until
finally the fangs came loose and he
For Jeremy, it was like something could fling the viper away.
out of a zombie movie – an undead
creature’s final act of revenge: but Jennifer told her husband to get
the truth is, bites from decapitated in the car. She was already on the
snakes aren’t uncommon. It’s like phone with emergency dispatchers.
a chicken with its head cut off, only They were a half-hour away from the

ONE THOUGHT FLASHED THROUGH
JENNIFER’S MIND: HER HUSBAND

NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION, NOW

with a much longer survival time nearest hospital and she had no idea
because it’s a cold-blooded reptile which of the medical centres in the
with a slow metabolism. area held antivenom. All she knew
was that they didn’t have much time.
In that moment, however, all
Jeremy was thinking about was that JENNIFER SUTCLIFFE had always
the snake that he’d killed was now been quick to act under pressure. In
trying to kill him. The creature’s Texas, she was a nurse consultant,
jaws were clamped around his hand. but back when she’d worked in hos-
Desperate to free himself, Jeremy pitals she’d always been the go-to
inserted the fingers of his left hand person for CPR – someone colleagues
beneath the snake’s upper jaw and would turn to when competence and
tried to pry the fangs free. He man- quick thinking could be the differ-
aged to remove one of the fangs from ence between life and death.
his middle finger, but as he tried to
pull the head loose, the viper’s jaw She’s known her husband for their
clenched again, burying the fang in entire adult lives. They’d met in the
his ring finger this time. summer of 1993, when they were
both students working at a nursing
At the sound of his cry, Jennif- home. She’d liked his sparkling blue
er, a trained nurse, had come run- eyes and the fact that he was kind.
ning. When she saw her husband
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READER’S DIGEST

The two became friends, then more. but blackness. “I can’t see,” he said,
They were married a couple of panic in his voice, before passing out.
Jennifer shook her husband with one
years later and went on to have a son hand while keeping the other on the
and a daughter. Jeremy was handy, a wheel. Jeremy woke up, only to pass
builder and a tinkerer who worked out again. Then he began having a
installing heating and air condition- seizure. The emergency operator told
ing. He always seemed to be helping Jennifer to pull over and wait in front
out one neighbour or another. of a church for the paramedics.

In 2011, at the age of 34, he was diag- Finally, after the longest 15 min-
nosed with Guillain-Barré syndrome, utes of her life – during which Jer-
a rare and mysterious condition that emy alternated between babbling
causes the immune system to attack incoherently and losing conscious-
healthy nerve cells. The disease left ness – the paramedics arrived. They
Jeremy weak and exhausted, unable transferred Jeremy to the ambulance
to work more than a few hours a day, and sped down the highway, with
but the couple got through it together.

A DECAPITATED SNAKE HAS NOTHING
TO LOSE. AND SO THE RATTLER EMPTIED

ITS VENOM GLANDS INTO JEREMY

When they bought the house in Cor- Jennifer speeding behind. After just
pus Christi, it felt like the ideal situ- ten minutes, however, the ambulance
ation. While she worked, he would pulled over into the carpark of an
slowly create their dream home. abandoned building. When Jennifer
pulled up next to them, they told her
Now, as Jennifer sped down the that her husband was in bad shape.
highway, she could feel that fan- His blood pressure had plummeted,
tasy slipping away. On the phone, and they were worried he wasn’t go-
the emergency dispatcher was di- ing to make it to the hospital.
recting her down the highway to a
spot where an ambulance would “We have to get the HALO air am-
meet them to bring her husband to bulance,” one of the paramedics
the nearest hospital. Mere minutes said. Instead of driving to the hos-
after being bitten, however, Jeremy pital half an hour away, they were
was already feeling the effects of the sending for a helicopter that would
venom coursing through his body. get him into a different emergen-
When he blinked, he saw nothing cy room in ten minutes. Moments

82 March 2020

The Snake’s Revenge

Left: The snake’s head. Right: Jeremy during dialysis in mid-June,
after two fingers were amputated

PHOTOS COURTESY OF JENNIFER SUTCLIFFE later, the chopper touched down and A snake that has been decapitat-
whisked Jeremy away. ed, however, has nothing to lose, so
the snake that bit Jeremy emptied its
RATTLESNAKE VENOM is a miracle venom glands into his hand. When
of evolution – a complex cocktail of Jennifer got to the emergency depart-
enzymes and proteins that, when in- ment at Christus Spohn Hospital Cor-
jected into a victim’s bloodstream, pus Christi–Shoreline, about an hour
acts like a powerful blood thinner, and 15 minutes after her husband,
destroying skin tissue and blood cells she found a hectic scene. There were
and causing internal haemorrhaging. six or seven doctors working on her
A rattlesnake’s fangs are connected to husband, desperately trying to get
venom glands at the back of its head. his blood pressure up. Just two hours
Snakes can control how much venom after being bitten, Jeremy’s right
they inject, and because producing hand was enormous and swollen, an
venom takes energy, they typically angry red creeping up his forearm.
don’t want to waste it. When cor-
nered, an adult rattlesnake will usu- She watched with her nurse’s eyes
ally deliver a light defensive strike to as doctors gave him a host of treat-
scare off a threat. ments – cryoprecipitate and vita-
min K to clot the blood, and dose

83

READER’S DIGEST

after dose of antivenom. The average to budge above 60. “We’re at the
snakebite victim is given two to four point where there’s nothing else we
doses of anti-venom. In total, Jeremy can do,” the doctor said. There was a
received 26. good chance Sutcliffe wouldn’t make
it through the night.
Jennifer knew IVs: if a patient
needed fluid quickly, you simply in- Jennifer felt her heart plummet.
creased the flow, turning a drip into She somehow hadn’t registered the
a steady trickle. But the doctors here gravity of the situation. She went to
had put the IV bag into an inflatable her husband’s bedside and grabbed
sleeve that they’d pumped up like a his hand. “You find that venom and
blood-pressure cuff, literally squeez- you push it out of your body,” she
ing fluid into her husband’s body as ordered. “You can’t die.”
fast as they could. She’d never seen
anything like it before. The sight ter- Over the next half-hour, she stood
rified her. by her husband’s side in the ICU,
her eyes glued to the monitor next

“YOU FIND THAT VENOM AND
YOU PUSH IT OUT OF YOUR BODY,”

JENNIFER ORDERED. “YOU CAN’T DIE”

At 5pm, after five hours of work- to his bed. Slowly, miraculously, she
ing on Jeremy, the doctors came watched as Jeremy’s blood pressure
to a decision. Sutcliffe’s organs were ticked up. It made it to 65, then 70.
failing – they needed to induce a The doctors began taking him off
coma and put him on a ventilator. the medications, and his pressure
Jennifer numbly agreed. remained stable. By sunrise the fol-
lowing day, the worst was over.
At around 3am, one of the doctors
approached her. Her husband wasn’t ON MAY 31, five days after the rat-
doing well. His blood pressure was tlesnake he killed nearly killed him,
still dangerously low. The mean Jeremy emerged from his coma and
arterial pressure (MAP) that doctors found himself in a strange hospital
were looking for was 65 – anything room. His mind was foggy. His en-
lower and the heart can’t push blood tire body was swollen with more than
through the body. They had Jere- 20 kilograms worth of water weight.
my on the maximum dosage of four Pain radiated from his legs, his arms,
medications designed to increase his his bowels, everywhere. But as he
blood pressure, but his MAP refused

84 March 2020

The Snake’s Revenge

looked around, he saw that he was “When I first came to and things
surrounded by family: his daughter were all right, I’d cry a lot and think
and her children, his son, Jennifer. about all the dumb things I’d done,
the people I’ve hurt,” Jeremy says.
The next weeks were difficult. The He remembered skipping his kids’
mixture of venom and anti-venom had events or ignoring Jennifer while he
caused severe kidney damage, and was off working on a neighbour’s
Jeremy needed dialysis. The toxins house. It wasn’t that he’d done any-
had left him with gallstones, kidney thing so terrible – just that his new
stones and fierce abdominal pain. He perspective suddenly made every
was so weak he couldn’t stand. The misstep seem like a tragic waste. The
medical expenses piled up – so the experience had changed him. “The
couple started a GoFundMe account things that used to matter don’t feel
to pay for the battery of treatments. like they matter as much,” he says.
The fingers of Jeremy’s right hand “My wife and my family seem so
were badly wounded; the doctors tried much more important now.”
skin grafts but were unsuccessful. In
the end, they were forced to amputate In late June, he was released from
his ring and middle fingers. the hospital and the couple moved
back to their dream-home-in-pro-
For anyone else, the loss of two fin- gress. And one evening in July, they
gers would be devastating. But Jere- finally had the barbecue they’d been
my didn’t see it that way. After getting planning. Their daughter and grand-
a glimpse of the worst, he was feel- children came over, as did a neigh-
ing positive. About a month after the bour. Everyone sat out in the garden,
bite, his kidneys were working well eating hamburgers, grilled sweet
enough for doctors to take him off corn and potatoes and enjoying the
dialysis. “I’d trade a couple of fingers warm air. The Sutcliffes paused to
for my kidneys coming back,” he said. take it all in. This was their paradise,
and no snake could change that.
Lying in a hospital bed, slowly
recovering, he’d had time to think.

Toddler Meltdowns

Sometimes I miss having a toddler, but then I hear one
throwing a tantrum because “The moon keeps following me,”

and I think, Yeah, I’m good. @fatherwithtwins

Today’s tantrum brought to you by “WHY WON’T YOU BUY
ME A REAL RAINBOW!?” kim bongiorno

85

LIFE LESSON ILLUSTRATION: JULIA KUO

CoTHnEdAoRlTenOFce
Struggling to offer sympathy to someone
who is grieving the loss of a loved one?
Here’s what you should say, and how to say it
BY Bruce Feiler A DA P T E D F R O M T H E N E W YO R K T I M E S

86 March 2020

When a teenage boy in my community committed
suicide, I sat down to write the parents a sympathy
note. I pulled out a monogrammed card and stared
at it blankly for the next two hours. I could think
of absolutely nothing to say.

Offering a written expression of so perfect, God wanted her to sit
condolence used to be a staple of po- beside him’.”
lite society. “A letter of condolence
may be abrupt, badly construct- Chanel Rey nolds’s 43-year-old
ed, ungrammatical – never mind,” husband was killed in a biking
advised the 1960 edition of Emily accident ten years ago, leaving her a
Post’s Etiquette. “Grace of expression single mother of their five-year-old
counts for nothing; sincerity alone is son. Her advice: “If you’re feeling
of value.” the urge to panic-talk and fill the air
with clichés, don’t.”
But in these days of Facebook-
ing and Snapchatting, the rules of She singled out two expressions
expressing sympathy have become that particularly grated. The first
muddied at best, and concealed in was, “At least he died doing what he
an onslaught of emoji at worst. “Sorry loved.”
about Mum. Sad face, sad face, crying
face, heart, heart, unicorn.” “Getting hit and run over by a van
was not his love,” Reynolds said.
Try these tips for mastering (or at “Riding a bike was.”
least not humiliating yourself in) the
lost art of condolence. The other expression, “At least you
weren’t married for so long that you
1Being tongue-tied is OK When can’t live without him.”
I solicited advice from friends
on social media, the one over- “Thank God we were only married
whelming thing I heard was it’s per- for nine years,” she said dr yly.
fectly acceptable to admit you don’t “Dodged a bullet there.”
know what to say. One rabbi said,
“Admitting you’re at a loss for words 2Share a positive memory
is far more caring and helpful than Instead of falling back on a
writing pithy statements like ‘he’s shopworn phrase, share a warm
in a better place’ or ‘your child was or uplifting memory of the deceased.

Kevin Young, a poet and creative
writing professor at Emory Univer-
sity, said that when his father died,

87

READER’S DIGEST

the condolence notes that moved one friend griped. Consider following

him most were from strangers who the lead of a police support website

shared a recollection of him. “That that advises law enforcement officials

was important for me because I real- doing death notification to use “sim-

ised his place in the world,” he said. ple, straightforward language”.

“You realise this person had impact “Don’t be afraid to use the ‘D’

beyond you. That words – dead, died or

was comforting.” Avoid the death. Terms such as
temptation to ‘expired’, ‘passed on’
3No compari- say you know or ‘lost’ are words of
sons Avoid the what the other denial.”
temptation to person is going
say you know what 5Get real Griev-
the other person through ers hear so
is going through. many vacuous
Everyone experienc- phrases that a little

es grief differently. straight talk can be

While you may have felt overwhelmed a welcome relief. Food writer and

when your loved one died, the person editor Jane Lear, who collects eti-

you’re writing to may have channelled quette books, prefers the model out-

her grief into work or hyper-efficient lined by Millicent Fenwick in Vogue’s

house purging. Book of Etiquette, published in 1948.

“This is not about you,” Reynolds First an expression of sympathy (“I

said. “I heard things like, ‘I was at was so sorry to hear …”). Second a

my friend’s house when I heard,’ ‘I word about the deceased. Finally an

couldn’t sleep all night long,’ ‘I cried expression of comfort.

so hard.’ Really? Because I think I’m “This all makes perfect sense,” she

sadder.” A better approach, she sug- said, “but I think my favourite note

gested, is to be neutral. “You can upon the death of my brother was

absolutely express your sadness and from one of my closest friends. ‘My

sorrow, but remove yourself from the dear Jane,’ he wrote. ‘IT STINKS.’”

conversation.” 6Facebook is not enough These
days many people first learn
4 Don’t dodge the ‘D’ words We of the death of a friend’s loved
have become afraid to mention one via social media. The instinct to
death by name. Loved ones
don’t ‘die’ anymore; they’re ‘carried post a comment or dash off an email

away’ or ‘resting peacefully’. “All the is understandable. But ever yone

euphemisms make my skin crawl,” I spoke with agreed on one point:

88 March 2020

The Art of Condolence

heartfelt gestures like these do not or dinner a month or so later when

replace a condolence note. everyone has returned to their lives

Etiquette business emilypost.com, and the person is left alone to deal

which maintains and evolves the with the pieces.”

standards of decorum that author Reynolds said: “Even three or

Emily Post established in her 1922 four months later, touching base

book Etiquette, says can help. I would

that commenting Mourners encourage people
in public forums or also appreciate to send notes on the
sending an email is deceased’s birthday,
an acceptable first cards that on the couple’s an-
gesture, as long as arrive weeks niversar y, or some
you follow “with a other meaningful
handwritten note or months occasion.”
and, whenever later
possible, attendance If you still feel
daunted with the

at the funeral or pressure to come up

visitation.” with the right words, do something

instead: take the deceased’s pet for a

7There’s no time limit on sym- walk, run an errand, offer to pick up
pathy Writing immediately is a relative from the airport.
not necessary. Many mourners
Or fall back on what loving

are overwhelmed in the immediate supporters have been doing for

aftermath, and numerous told me generations: send food, such as fruit

they especially appreciated cards baskets or casseroles.

that arrived weeks or even months Citing his own experience, Young

after the death. One friend told me, said such gestures are much appre-

“I personally back off from doing ciated: “You’ve got to eat.”

any thing right away and offer to THIS VERSION WAS CONDENSED BY READER’S
take the griever out for lunch, coffee DIGEST. © 2016 BY NEW YORK TIMES CO.

Sound Colours

Does ‘aa’ in ‘baa’ sound more green or more red to you? Even though
speech and colour are perceived with different sensory organs, most

people agree about what colours and vowels fit with each other.
A large majority of the 1000 subjects said ‘aa’ was more red than
green, according to University of Edinburgh researchers. science daily

89

READER’S DIGEST

ALL IN A DAY’S WORK

Humour on the Job

“‘Honesty is the best policy.’ CARTOON CREDIT: DANA FR ADON/CARTOONCOLLECTIONS.COM
OK! Now, what’s the second-best policy?”

Long Forgotten Food for Thought

In his memoir, Blowing the Bloody Every office is only
Doors Off, actor Michael Caine as motivated as its
describes a time he hailed a taxi. snack collection.
After he got in and they drove off,
he noticed the driver sizing him APARNA NANCHERIA, COMEDIAN
up in the rearview mirror.

“Hey, I know you,” he told the
two-time Oscar winner.

“I nodded encouragement,” Caine
writes. “I was hoping for something
about how brilliant I’d been in
Batman Begins.

“Instead: ‘Didn’t you used to be
Michael Caine?’”

90 march 2020

All In a Day’s Work

No Half Measures free with your Microsoft program.”
A minute later came his reply:
Overheard at a paint store:
“Must be dephective.”
CUSTOMER: How much for a litre
SUBMITTED BY NORMAN MIDDLETON
of that paint?
A Question of Time
ASSISTANT: Forty-two dollars.
I’ve never wanted to know the
CUSTOMER: Do you have a smaller answer to anything bad enough to
ask a question at a meeting that’s
litre? SUBMITTED BY LOUISE ARRUDA running 30 minutes over time.

Spelling It Out @ABBYHASISSUES

I’m known as a stickler for good BOSS: “This is the third time you’ve
spelling. So when an associate been late this week. Do you know
emailed technical documents and what that means?
asked me to “decifer” them, I had to ME: “It’s only Wednesday.”
set him straight. “Decipher is spelled
with a ph, not an f,” I wrote. “In case
you’ve forgotten, Spellchecker comes

CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER

Funny experiences with plagiarism from educators and students

Upon finding a When I was in A PhD student
clearly plagiarised Year Eight, two kids plagiarised in his
paper, I called the stole the teacher’s dissertation.
student into my book with the test
office. Pointing to my answers. But our The source? His
computer screen, teacher realised that external examiner.
I said, “I found your they had cheated
entire paper online. on the test. How? science_expat
Do you have anything They wrote “Answers
you want to say will vary” for some
about that?” of the questions.

Her angry collegeconfidential.com
response: “Well, I
paid my sister to write
it, but I didn’t think
she’d plagiarise!”

CHRISTINA M. RAU

91

TRUE CRIME PHOTOS: OMOMOM

The Broaddus family had
just bought their dream home
and couldn’t wait to move in.
Until ominous letters began

arriving in the mail

BY Reeves Wiedeman

FROM NEW YORK

92 march 2020

Dearest New Neighbour
at 657 Boulevard,
allow me to welcome you
to the neigbourhood.
My grandfather watched
the house in the 1920s ...

It is now my time.
The Watcher

657 Boulevard is one of the
grandest homes in idyllic
Westfield, New Jersey

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READER’S DIGEST

fter he’d finished painting one evening
at his new house in Westfield, New
Jersey, Derek Broaddus found an

A envelope addressed in thick, clunky
handwriting to “The New Owner”.
Dearest new neighbour at 657 You have children. I have seen them.
Boulevard, allow me to welcome you So far I think there are three that PREVIOUS SPREAD: CHRISTOPHER SADOWSKI (HOUSE)
to the neighbourhood. I have counted ... Once I know their
names I will call to them and draw
Buying 657 Boulevard had ful- them too [sic] me.
filled a dream for Derek and his wife,
Maria. The house was a few blocks The envelope had no return
from Maria’s childhood home. Their address.
three kids, who were five, eight and
ten years old, were already debating Who am I? There are hundreds
which of the house’s fireplaces Santa and hundreds of cars that drive by
Claus would use. 657 Boulevard each day. Maybe I am
in one. Look at all the windows you
The typed note went on: can see from 657 Boulevard. Maybe
My grandfather watched the house I am in one.
in the 1920s and my father watched
in the 1960s. It is now my time. Do Welcome my friends, welcome.
you know the history of the house? Let the party begin.
Do you know what lies within the
walls of 657 Boulevard? Why are you A signature was typed in a cursive
here? I will find out. font:
The letter identified the Broaddus-
es’ Honda minivan, as well as the – The Watcher
workers renovating the home.
I see already that you have flood- I t was after 10pm, and Derek was
ed 657 Boulevard with contractors alone. He raced around the house
so that you can destroy the house as turning off lights so no one could
it was supposed to be. Tsk, tsk, tsk ... see inside, then called the police. An
bad move. You don’t want to make officer came to the house and read
657 Boulevard unhappy. the letter. He asked Derek whether
Earlier in the week, the family had he had enemies and recommend-
gone to the house and chatted with ed moving a piece of construction
their new neighbours. The letter equipment from the back verandah
writer seemed to have noticed. in case the Watcher tried to toss it
through a window.

Derek and Maria emailed John and
Andrea Woods, the couple who’d sold

94 March 2020

The Haunted House Next Door

them 657 Boulevard, to ask whether Or are they too afraid to go down

they had any idea who the Watch- there alone. I would [be] very afraid

er might be. Andrea replied that a if I were them. It is far away from the

few days before moving out, they’d rest of the house. If you were upstairs

received an odd note signed “The you would never hear them scream.

Watcher”. She said that she and her Will they sleep in the attic? Or will

husband had never received any- you all sleep on the second floor? Who

thing like it in their 23 years in the has the bedrooms facing the street?

house and had thrown the letter I’ll know as soon as you move in. It

away without much thought. will help me to know who is in which

The Broadduses spent the next bedroom. Then I can plan better.

weeks on high Have a happy

alert. Derek can- “HAVE YOU moving in day.
celled a work trip, FOUND ALL OF You know I will be
and whenever Ma- THE SECRETS watching.
ria took the kids IT HOLDS YET?”
to the house, she Derek and Maria
would yell their stopped bringing
their kids to the

names if they house. They were

wandered into a no longer sure

far corner of the yard. The contrac- when, or if, they would move in. Sev-

tor arrived one morning to find that eral weeks later, a third letter arrived.

a heavy sign he’d hammered into the W h e r e h a v e y o u g o n e t o ?

front yard had been ripped out over- 657 Boulevard is missing you.

night. M any Westfield residents com-
Two weeks later, another letter pare their town to Mayberry,
the idyllic setting for The Andy
arrived. Maria recognised the thick
black lettering and called the police.

This time, the Watcher used their Griffith Show. Westfield is 45 minutes

names, misspelling them as “Mr and from New York, and the town’s 30,000

Mrs Braddus” and identifying their residents are largely well-to-do fam-

three kids by their nicknames – the ilies. The Boulevard is a wide, tree-

names Maria had been yelling. lined street. Built in 1905, 657 Boule-

657 Boulevard is anxious for you to vard was perhaps the grandest home

move in. It has been years and years on the block, and when the Woodses

since the young blood ruled the hall- put it on the market, they received

ways of the house. Have you found multiple offers. The Broadduses won

all of the secrets it holds yet? Will the the bidding war and got the house for

young blood play in the basement? $1.3 million. They initially suspected

95

READER’S DIGEST

that the Watcher might be someone Michael Langford, as “kind of a Boo

upset over losing out on the house. Radley character.” [A mysterious re-

But the Woodses said one interest- cluse from Harper Lee’s novel To Kill

ed buyer had backed out after a bad a Mockingbird.]

medical diagnosis, while another Derek thought the case was solved.

had found a different home. Andrea But detectives said they had already

Woods thought it was more likely spoken to Michael. He denied know-

someone in the neighbourhood. ing anything about the letters. With-

The letters did indicate proximity. out hard evidence, there wasn’t much

They had been processed in Kearny, the department could do. Frustrated,

the US Postal Service’s distribution the Broadduses began their own in-

centre in north- vestigation. They

ern New Jersey. THELEWFATTNCOHER set up webcams
The first was post- NONDOIFGIRINTEGAAELLRTPCRRLAUINIELTS,S, and employed pri-
marked June 4, vate investigators,
before the sale was including two for-
public – the Wood- mer FBI agents.
ses had never even
put up a for-sale One of the
agents, Robert

sign. Lenehan, rec-

A few days after ognised several

the first letter, Maria and Derek went old-fashioned tics in the letters that

to a neighbourhood barbecue. They pointed to an older writer. Envelopes

hadn’t told anyone about the Watch- were addressed to “M/M Braddus”,

er, as the police had instructed, and and the sentences had double spaces

found themselves scanning the party between them. The letters had a cer-

for clues while keeping tabs on their tain literary panache, which suggested

kids, who ran guilelessly through a “voracious reader”, and a surprising

a crowd that made up much of the lack of profanity given the level of an-

suspect pool. “We kept screaming at ger, which Lenehan thought meant a

them to stay close,” Maria said. “Peo- “less macho” writer. He didn’t think

ple must have thought we were crazy.” the Watcher was likely to act on the

John Schmidt, who lived two doors threats, but the letters had enough

down, told Derek about the Langfords, typos to imply a certain erraticism.

who had lived in the house since the Lenehan recommended looking into

1960s. Peggy Langford was in her 90s, former housekeepers or their de-

and several of her adult children lived scendants.

with her. The family was a bit odd, The Broadduses’ housepaint-

Schmidt said, describing one son, er noticed that the couple behind

96 March 2020

The Haunted House Next Door

657 Boulevard kept a pair of lawn the letters, which left others to ask
chairs strangely close to the Broaddus- why they weren’t moving in – “Legal
es’ property. One day he saw an older issues,” they said – and wonder wheth-
man sitting in one of the chairs. “He er they were getting divorced. They
wasn’t facing his house,” the painter fought constantly and started taking
said. “He was facing the Broadduses’.” medication to fall asleep.

Maria said she felt as if almost “I was a depressed wreck,” Derek
anyone could have been the Watch- said. Maria decided to see a therapist
er, which made daily life feel like after a routine doctor’s visit that began
navigating a labyrinth of threats. She with the question “How are you?”
probed the faces of shoppers at the caused her to burst into tears.
local supermarket to see whether they
looked strangely at her kids and spent The Broadduses decided to sell
hours googling anyone who seemed 657 Boulevard. But rumours had al-
suspicious. ready begun to swirl about why the
house sat empty. They told their es-
But the Watcher left no digital trail, tate agent that they intended to show
no fingerprints, and no way to place the letters to anyone whose offer was
someone at the scene of a crime that accepted. Several bids came in, but
could have been hatched from pret- they were well below the asking price.
ty much any letterbox in northern
New Jersey. The letters could be The media caught wind of the tale.
read closely for possible clues or dis- “We do some creepy stories,” host
missed as the nonsensical ramblings Tamron Hall said on Today. “This
of a sociopath. In December 2014, might be top-ten creepy.” News
six months after the first letter had trucks camped out at 657 Boulevard,
arrived, police told the Broadduses and one local reporter set up a lawn
they had run out of options. Derek chair to conduct his own watch. The
showed the letters to his priest, who Broadduses got more than 300 me-
agreed to bless the house. dia requests but decided not to speak
publicly. The attention forced Derek
T he renovations, including a new and Maria to sit down with their chil-
alarm system, were finished, but dren to explain the real reason they
the idea of moving in filled the hadn’t moved into their new home.
Broadduses with overwhelming anxi- The kids had plenty of questions:
ety. They had sold their old home, so who is the Watcher? Where does this
they moved in with Maria’s parents person live? Why is this person angry
while continuing to pay the mortgage with us? Derek and Maria had few
and taxes on 657 Boulevard. They answers.
told only a handful of friends about
“Can you imagine having that con-
versation with a five year old?” Derek

97

READER’S DIGEST

said. “Your town isn’t as safe as you agent. Was she upset about missing a
think it is, and there’s a bogeyman commission right next door? But her
obsessed with you.” DNA sample wasn’t a match either.

From a safer distance, the Watch- One night, Chambliss and a part-
er was a real-life mystery to solve. A ner were sitting in a van watching the
group of reddit.com users obsessed house. Around 11pm, a car stopped
over Google Maps’ Street View, which out front long enough for Chambliss
showed a car parked in front of 657 to grow suspicious. He says he traced
with, one user thought, a man hold- the car to a woman whose boyfriend
ing a camera. (Others, more rationally, lived on the block. She told Chambliss
saw “pixelated glare”.) Proposed sus- her boyfriend was into “some really
pects included a jilted mistress, a dark video games,” including one in
spurned estate agent, a local high which he was playing as a character:
schooler’s creative-writing project, ‘The Watcher’. He agreed to come in
guerrilla marketing for a horror movie, for an interview on two separate occa-
and “mall Goths having fun”. sions. He didn’t show up either time.
But Chambliss didn’t have enough
Some people thought the Broad- evidence to compel him to appear.
duses were wimps for not moving in.
“I would NEVER let this sicko stop me W hile the Broadduses contin-
from moving into a house.” ued to be consumed by stress
and fear, for the rest of West-
This irked the Broadduses. “None of field, the story became little more
them have read the letters or had their than a creepy urban legend – a house
children threatened,” Derek said. to walk by on Halloween if you were
brave. In spring 2016, 657 Boulevard
In Westfield, people were on edge. went back on the market. But poten-
Mayor Andy Skibitksy assured the tial buyers would back out once they
public that even though the police read the letters.
hadn’t solved the case, their investi-
gation had been “exhaustive”. Then Feeling as if they were out of op-
Barron Chambliss, a veteran detec- tions, the Broadduses’ real estate
tive who had been asked to look at lawyer proposed selling the house to
the case, discovered something sur- a developer, who could tear it down
prising: investigators had analysed and split the property. But the two
the DNA on one of the envelopes and lots would be just shy of the 21-metre
determined that it belonged to a wom- width mandated by zoning laws.
an. The police asked for permission to
test Maria’s DNA. It didn’t match. When the planning board met
to discuss granting an exception,
Chambliss decided to look more more than 100 residents showed up.
closely at neighbour Abby Lang-
ford, who worked as a real estate

98 March 2020