Girls Life Magazine - October & November 2023

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 47 C. The planetarium. You and your bestie are obsessed with astrology these days, and staring at the constellations is the logical next step. 5. When you’re talking to your crush IRL, the vibes are… A. Nerve-wracking. You can never think ofthe rightthing to say, so you end up oversharing. B. Chill. You can’t tell if you’re just friends, but you’re trying to enjoy the good energy. C. All over the place. Sometimes you two are really connected, and other times one of you feels pretty distant. 6. Your crush is on a trip and just posted to their Instagram Story…which they almost never do. How do you react? A. Reply immediately. Oops, did you just give the fire emoji to the pic of their grandparents?! Whatever, it’s an excuse to DM them. B. Watch the story…but nottoo soon. Hopefully,they’llsee your name and think to text you. C. See the pic then text them “I didn’t know you were away!” Guess you weren’t listening when they said they’d be missing the game tomorrow. 7. Yikes, you just heard that your crush asked your friend Avery to homecoming. You’re handling the situation by… A. Neverspeaking to Avery again and ignoring your crush for at least a week. Maybe if you’re in a bad mood,they will actually notice you exist. B. Crying to your mom for a night—then committing to going to the dance with your friends and having a blast, crush or no crush. C. Asking one of their friends to go as your date. That way Avery won’t think you’re mad *and* you can still have fun. 8. After three months of barely making idle chitchat, your crush turns around in homeroom and randomly mentions that your hair looks good today. You… A. Start freaking out and text the group chat to brainstorm a compliment to give them back ASAP. Is “you’re so cute” too weirdly forward? B. Make a mental note to wear this look more often. Maybe you should take a pic to post after school? C. Tell them you’re going to be cutting it shorter soon. Sorry. YOU’RE COMPLETELY HEAD OVER HEELS You and your crush have a romance worthy of a Taylor Swift album…in your imagination. You think of them 24/7, but have they given you enough positive signals back to be deserving of all this attention? YOUR MOVE: Take two weeks to send clear signs of interest to your crush— aka texting them hi, inviting them to hang with your squad and asking them questions. If they’re not matching your energy, let this one go. It’s going to be tough, but it’s worth it to put yourself first so you can open yourself up to future ’ships. YOU’RE, UH, NOT THAT INTO THEM Maybe it’s your ex that you really need to stop going back to…or the person your friendsset you up with who’sjust not your type. Either way, that’s not exactly the recipe for romance. You deserve someone who’s all in—and your crush does, too. YOUR MOVE: Take a deep breath and break it off, whether that’s asking to text less often or telling your friends you’re OK flying solo. If you truly miss them, you can reconsider—but more likely, you’re just worried about what crush-free life will look like. Trust: Bae or not, your future is bright. MOSTLY A’s MOSTLY C’s ALYS TOMLINSON/GETTY IMAGES. YOU’RE SORTA-MAYBE CRUSHING (OK, YOU ARE) Even though you may not have completely admitted itto yourself yet, you have major heart eyes for this person. Atthe same time, putting yourself out there puts you at risk of getting hurt. So you’re stuck playing mind games, wondering if they only see you as a friend...or maybe something more. YOUR MOVE: Stop waiting around for them to take the leap and just do it. Ask if they like anyone, or just ask ’em out. What do you have to lose? An exciting relationship could be right ahead for you—or you’ll have the info you need to move forward. MOSTLY B’s We can’t all be Lara Jean and Peterfrom To Allthe Boys: Some crushes have the potentialto become real-dealrelationships, while others are bestleftsneaking wistful glances acrossthe caf (or,tbh, ditched altogether). To make any kind of move, first you need to know how you *really* feel. AnswertheseQ’s(and be honest!)to discover what’s truly in your heart—and what you should do next. 1. Yourteacherjust told everyone to pick a new partnerfor the next lab project. Your crush crushes thermodynamics. What do you do? A. Jump out of your chairto claim your crush before anyone else. B. Wait a few seconds to see if your crush comes to you. If they don’t? Grab your kinda clueless partner from the last lab to avoid looking awkward. C. Immediately lock eyes with your BFF. Sure, your crush is smart, but nothing beats hanging with your go-to girl. 2. The song that*so*reminds you of your crush is… A. Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me.” You can’t stop daydreaming about them and wishing you could just enter your Lover era already. B. Some niche throwback track. As soon as your crush mentioned it over text last week, you added it to your playlist. C. Your school’s cringey fight song. Your entire friend group rewrote the lyrics one time, and your crush thought it was hilarious. 3. A textfrom your crush pops up: “What are you up to over Thanksgiving break?” Yourresponse is... A. “Not much. I can FaceTime if you’re free.” B. “Hanging with my cousinsthen catching the football game on Saturday.” Fingers crossed they wantto join you in the stands. C. “Pretty busy, you?” (Though, if you’re being real, “busy” = bingeing Gilmore Girls.) 4. During your class field trip to the natural history museum, you’re headed where? A. The fossil gallery. You know your crush loves animals, so you can coordinate a “surprise” run-in there. B. The snack bar. That’s where your friends want to go and hang out, so hopefully your crush’s crew has the same idea. C RUSHES

48 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 with more respect and loyalty. Ask yourself if it’s actually worth salvaging this romance or if you’d be better off walking away. Hint: Unless he has been apologizing profusely, I’d advise walking away. No doubt the girl is ghosting you because she’s embarrassed. She broke the rules—as did your boyfriend. And by the way, if they end up together, it may be cold comfort to know that it will surprise no one if at some point they cheat on each other. There are better relationships in your future. You’ll see. SICK OF MY SISTER My little sister is unbearable! She follows me around and won’t let me have any time to myself. For example, when I’m with my these feelings as a group activity up for public scrutiny. FREAKING OUT I walked in on someone I am very close to making out with my boyfriend. I am not mad, but just...why? I tried to talk to her afterward, but she is ignoring me. Dear Freaking Out, Oh no! I’m so sorry. That’s a gut punch. You say you’re not mad, but aren’t you? You have every right to be mad and sad and confused, and it’s healthy to let yourself feel your feelings. You were betrayed by both the boy and girl. That hurts, and there’s no need to pretend it doesn’t. You deserve to be treated FIRST KISS I’m 13 years old and Ithink I’m ready for my first kiss. There isthis guywho’s had a crush on me all year. Aboutfour months ago, I started to like him,too. We hang out and flirt allthe time, and it’s finally not awkward. The problem is, Itold one of my friendsthat I planned to kiss him, and she told him. I do wantto kiss him, butI don’twantto make it awhole thingwith my friends or my family finding out. Also, Iwastexting in a group chatwith my friends(aswell asthe guywho I like and likes me back), and he made a joke. I didn’t getthe joke,so I asked him to explain it. The jokewas about me and him doing stuff, and itwas kinda gross and made me uncomfortable. He apologized and agreed itwenttoo far and said he’d never do that again. Should I even continue liking him? Dear First Kiss, You might want to press pause on all this for now, or at least not feel pressured to continue full speed ahead. You told a friend you planned to kiss him, but you’re not under a contract. And if it feels like everyone is expecting you two to make a move, that’s not a good reason to do anything at all. Look, he apologized about the lewd joke, so you don’t have to write him off entirely. But there’s also no need to ignore how you feel or talk yourself into continuing to like him. Take a moment to recalibrate and decide where you stand. If you find you are still interested in each other, try not to approach WESTEND61/GETTY IMAGES. Dear Carol BY CAROL WESTON

GRADES Everybody says grades really count in high school. I just started my freshman year…and I’m already doing bad in one subject. Help! Dear Grades, Good for you for wanting to excel academically. And, you’re right, if you get good grades all through high school, you’ll have more options later if you want to apply to college. So do your best to stay organized and set up good study and health habits. Have you found a quiet, well-lit, distraction-free place to work? Do you tuck yourself in at a decent hour? Can you enlist a tutor in the subject that’s hardest for you? If a pro’s rates are too high, find an older student who can help. Or ask your teacher for extra assistance and explain that you really are trying. I commend you for wanting to be the best student you can be. GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 49 NAIL-BITER I bite my nails. How do I stop this habit? Dear Nail-Biter, I bit my nails, too (and sometimes still nibble), so I always try to keep an emery board handy and give myself manicures or go to the salon when I can. When I was first trying to break the habit, I put on yucky-tasting polish or wore gloves to bed. But mostly I stopped biting when I made the decision that enough was enough. I found the strength to do myself a favor and give my nails a chance to grow. Full disclosure: It didn’t happen overnight, but now you’d never know I ever bit my nails. My point? Habits are hard to break, but it’s never too late to turn over a new leaf. EN GARDE! I have a crush on this boy, but I only see him at fencing. Fencing is once a week, and we Dear Lonely, You won’t feel this way forever. You have a good heart and good brain, and I promise you will find your people. Maybe at a job or class or party or place of worship or volunteer program or extracurricular. Many other kids are also yearning for more authentic relationships. How to find future friends? At school, you can say, “Your artwork is amazing” or “Your speech was inspiring” or “You’re such a great athlete.” A simple compliment can really open doors. You are one close new friend away from feeling better. So be kind to your old group, but push yourself to reach out to new kids, especially as you discover your own new interests. Solitude has its charms, but with continued effort, you’ll make new friends. I know because I get many letters like yours. What would happen if, at lunchtime tomorrow, you asked someone to sit with you or put your tray down by theirs? friends, she won’t leave us alone. I’ve tried to get her to leave by suggesting other things for her to do or pointing out some friends she could hang out with, but she still won’t go. I’ve also tried gently explaining why I would like for her to leave, but she always just yells at me and says that I never include her. Then she runs to my parents— and I’m the one who gets in trouble. I don’t even get why she wants to hang out with me because she is insanely popular! I just want her to understand that sometimes I want time to myself or with my friends. Does that make me a bad sister? Dear Sick Of My Sister, You are not a bad sister. You sound like a sensitive sister, and I get that you want some time by yourself or with your friends without her. Can you meet at their houses or at public places? Can you encourage your sister to plan something with her friends when you’re seeing your friends? If she plays a sport or has a lesson on, say, Tuesdays, then keep in mind that Tuesdays are an extra good day for you to invite friends over. I don’t blame your sister for wanting to hang out with you. Older sisters are irresistibly intriguing. As for enlisting parental help, talk before things get tense. Instead of, “Tell Maya to butt out and leave us alone!” say, “I’m having friends over Saturday, and it would help me if Maya had something going on.” In the long run, your sibling age difference will feel less significant, and sisters getting along is a win-win—so try to find some fun things you can do together. Maybe bake pumpkin muffins or decorate your house for Halloween? LONELY The past few monthsI’ve felt a little lonely. I have two friends atschool, but we have gotten more distant. My best friend from last year and I don’tshare any classes, and we only say hi if we run into each other in the hall. My other friend and I share a few classes, but I feel bored with her. I feel bad because we’ve known each other for five years, but we have nothing to talk about. I’m part of a different friend group, but I don’t really talk to the girlsin it. SometimesI feel so lonely, but then I feel bad because I have a lot of people I could talk to. Outside of school, my friends and I don’t talk or hang out. I like spending time home alone, but I can’t help wishing that I had friends I had authentic connections with. I don’t want to feel like thisforever. SORRAPONG/GETTY IMAGES. L IFE

ANTONIOGUILLEM/GETTY IMAGES. hang out with you. You can’t make someone like you, but you *can* step away from indifferent and critical people. FAMILY TROUBLES Ithink my family doesn’tlike me anymore. They give me dirty lookswhen I messsomething up, and they have financial problems. Dear Family Troubles, I’m sure your family likes you and loves you, and I’m sorry things are hard right now. If your parents are stressed about money, they may be more short-tempered than usual. It’s not fair, but try not to take their bad moods personally. It may help to be extra kind to them. You could say, “Is everything OK? I know you guys are working really hard and I appreciate it.” Or leave a love note on their pillow. Take it from this advice columnist: Sometimes dumping love on someone’s head is truly the best plan of action. Carol Weston isthe author of 16 books including Speed of Life, Ava and Pip and Girltalk: Allthe Stuff Your Sister Never Told You. Learn more at carolweston.com and on Instagram @carolwestonnyc. aren’t allowed to talk to each other. But we’ve made eye contact. I don’t know if that counts. I am the only girl and the only person his age in fencing. This is my first major crush and I don’t know what to do. I’m 11. Dear En Garde!, Eye contact totally counts. And 11 is a fine age for a first crush. Yours is not an “action required” situation, so don’t feel that you have to do anything. Just keep fencing and talking with your eyes. I bet you two will get to know each other better soon. SISTER FIGHT My sister and I always fight. She gets mad and stays mad. I hate it! One minuscule mistake and shewill be mad for days. I’m so tired of being apologetic allthe time fortiny things that are not even my fault. Dear Sister Fight, It’s not easy when sisters fight, especially when one sister wants to make peace and the other doesn’t. Fights are natural, and it’s actually rare when sisters are best friends from the get-go. (See “Sick Of My Sister.”) You probably can’t change your sister, so I DearCarol 50 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 hope you can get to where it bothers you less when she holds a grudge. If you’ve apologized, give her time and this will blow over. The holidays ahead may provide an opportunity for renewed closeness. Even if it feels forced at first, practicing gratitude for one another at Thanksgiving is a great exercise. FRIENDS WON’T MAKE PLANS I told my friends I don’t like making plans with them because whenever I ask if they’re available, they just respond “idk.” When I told them, they flipped. They said I came off strong and pushy and that I was being a jerk. They also are hypocritical. I don’t want to be their friend anymore, and now I know if I told them how I’m feeling or that they’re hypocritical, they would take it out on me. Dear Friends Won’t Make Plans, Your best tactic is not to criticize your socalled friends or say they are being hypocritical. It’s—hear me out—to find new friends. I get that it’s a bummer that this crew is reluctant to make plans and, even worse, was mean about it. But instead of pushing it, read the writing on that wall and strive instead to find nicer kids who are happy to PRINCESS PROBLEM My aunt and uncle are rich and their daughter is the same age as me. We used to get along. Last time we were together, she kept talking about how she didn’t want to go on a ski vacation with her family over winter break, but she had “no choice.” I told her that this was a “princess problem” and she got mad. Was I being obnoxious? Or was she? Dear Princess Problem, Depending on your tone of voice, maybe nobody… or maybe both of you. But instead of my deciding who was being obnoxious, let me say that everyone (everyone!) has problems, big and small. Her family may have more money than you do, but no one’s life is perfect. And while money comes in handy, the cliché is true that it doesn’t buy happiness. Since she’s a cousin, you may see her over the holidays—and for the rest of your lives. So make the best of this relationship. Talk about friends, TV, movies, music, crushes, school, books… but avoid getting into compare-and-despair mode. If she keeps ranting and it’s driving you crazy, don’t be dismissive, but maybe in a light-hearted way say, “You know, a lot of people would like to have your problems.” Who knows, she might appreciate the frame of reference and say, “You’re right.”

P RO M OT ION Looking for a sweet new TBR? Join our Bestie Book Club—the perfect digital space to connect with like-minded readers, get to know amazing #bookstagrammers and find the latest and greatest reads. Whether you heart page-turning adventures, faraway fantasy series or ~srsly~ relatable romances, our handpicked monthly selections are exactly the escape you’ve been craving. What are you waiting for? Let’s get reading! Head to girlslife.com/bestiebookclub for our latest picks Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @glbestiebookclub to join the club! Your newest favorite book? Right this way…

52 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 he’s your best friend: You text her 24/7 with every minor update in your life, choreograph hilariously cringe sleepover dance routines and pretty much know everything about each other. But lately, something’s feeling, um, off between you two. Maybe she made varsity volleyball…and you didn’t. Maybe she went on a date with her crush…while yours doesn’t return your Snaps. Maybe she has fun plans with her youth group…and you’re stuck helping your dad do chores. Maybe she got her period…while you barely need a bra. Whatever that thing is, big or small, she has it…and you don’t. And it’s not like you want that thing, exactly, but you want something like it, maybe? Or you just want to feel less insecure or lonely or, ugh, jealous. “Low self-esteem and envy often go hand in hand,” says mental health counselor Alyssa Mairanz. But, yes, it is possible to feel entirely envious of your best friend— and still handle the sitch with grace and gratitude. JEALOUSY HAPPENS Of course, the last thing you want is to feel jealous of your main girl, especially when she’s done nothing to push you in that direction. “Last year, my bestie got a lead role in the school play when before that we’d both been in the chorus,” reflects Julianna B., 16. “She was super nice about it, but she instantly got a ton of attention from the cool theater kids and had lots of late-night rehearsals without me. I remember feeling so insignificant and left behind.” It’s true: Your BFF might be nothing but kind, positive and helpful, but seeing her reach BY AMANDA KOHR She’s everything and you’re just…you

success, especially in something you both do together, can throw you off. The bottom line? She’s now spending more of her free time elsewhere, connecting with another crew and quite possibly entering a whole new era of her life…that maybe doesn’t include you. When Sasha K., 16, found out her BFF had a boyfriend, she was thrilled for her. But soon, her bestie had plans almost every Friday night with her BF and other couples. “It felt like she changed,” Sasha admits. “I didn’t want to seem like I was jealous of her having a relationship, but I just missed my friend and wished I could be part of that, too.” As Mairanz notes, feelings of jealousy and insecurity get mixed up, making it hard to know which came first… and how to break the cycle. Because she’s your bestie, you’re not going to judge her or ignore her. You know that good friends are supposed to be happy for each other’s wins. At the same time, you can’t dismiss your feelings. So what do you do? RESET YOUR ENERGY First, remind yourselfthat your feelings are completely normal. “Everyone, but especially teens, constantly compares themselvesto othersto gauge how they’re doing,”sayssocial worker Keri Cooper. So yeah, when your bestie flawlessly executes her physics project or seemsto have unlimited plus one optionsfor homecoming, you may startto wonder if you’re falling behind. To find perspective in those moments, give yourselfsome credit.“Focus on what you do have and how that helps you in the world,” advises Mairanz. Sure, your gal may have a fab report card, but you scored a goal in last week’s game. And maybe she’s drowning in dates, butrn you’re more focused on building your babysitting biz. Envy is often about more than just comparison,though— so it’s up to you to figure out the source of your feelings. To do that,try journaling,talking to someone you trust who’s notinvolved in the situation or justtaking a long walk without anything to distract you from your honestthoughts. After a bit of time passed, Julianna realized she didn’t actually want her bestie’s role in the play. But with her girl in the haze of praise and new friends, Julianna missed their dynamic duo from chorus rehearsals the year before. “It was awkward at first, butItold herthatI wasfeeling left out,”Julianna says.“After that conversation,she made an effortto include me more. It didn’tsolve everything—and Istill missed the way things were—butit definitely helped the envy startto go away.” A NEW AND IMPROVED FRIENDSHIP As you figure out where your jealous feelings are coming from, they may disappear… only to be replaced by other (sometimes tough) realities. For Sasha, she realized her bestie packing her calendar with couples-only events wasn’t really something she was jealous of…but it *was* a sign to find her own thing. “We’re still friends, but I focused more on other people and activities where I felt more included and connected,” she says. “She isn’t a bad person—it just wasn’t realistic to expect that we’d hang out all the time anymore.” The truth is some girls do grow apart—and tbh, sometimes your envy is the first signal that you two are headed in different directions. That said, don’t delete the heart emojis from her phone contact just yet: For many girls, these kinds of situations can actually bring you closer. Lauren G., 17, was devastated when her BFF scored soccer team captain, something Lauren had dreamed of since elementary school. When her bestie noticed she felt down and asked what was wrong, Lauren decided to take the risk and be honest: “I told her the truth—that I was happy for her but struggling since I really wanted captain.” Lauren was surprised when her BFF not only understood but also opened up about the fact that she’d been jealous of Lauren’s skills before—and that she’d been worried about what getting captain would mean for their friendship. The convo gave Lauren reassurance that her BFF would be there for her no matter what, which helped her get past awkward feelings and support her wholeheartedly. “Even though she’s captain and I’m not, I know I’ll have other wins down the line,” Lauren shares. “And when that happens, she’ll be there to cheer me on.” GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 53 L IFE THE GOOD BRIGADE/GETTY IMAGES. The worst thing ever has happened: For whatever reason, you’re officially jealous of your BFF. Tame the envy before it’s too late.

SET BETTER BOUNDARIES YES, YOU *CAN* Move on from even the trickiest sitches with zero drama (even if you’re a peoplepleaser).

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 55 L IFE I t’s the kind of text that fills me with dread. A friend—not a super close one, but someone I like— wants help with her English essay. The deadline is Monday. She only needs a few hours of my time. Could she come over this weekend? I glance at my Google calendar. I can probably squeeze her in Saturday if I wake up earlier and skip yoga with my mom. Or Sunday if I bail on brunch. But even just thinking about it starts to stress me out. The truth is I…just don’t want to do it. I want to do what I’ve planned, tackle my own mountain of homework and then just chill. Part of me wants to be nice and help out a friend. The other partsimply wantsto say “sorry, can’t.” I make the decision to turn her down, but saying no, even when it’s the right call, still feels awkward. Especially when you’re nervous about damaging the relationship. The good news? Setting boundaries with others—even friends—gets easier with practice. And knowing the best way to gently say no can make all the difference. So whether you need to ditch a bud, a bae or a babysitting gig, here’s your step-bystep to a speedy exit off any route that’s no longer headed in a direction you wantto go. THE PERSON WHO’S CRUSHING ON YOU (BUT YOU’RE NOT FEELING IT) THE SITCH Your semi-obnoxious Spanish classmate likes you and asksto study vocab together(wink). The prob? You’re definitely not into them. THE STRATEGY Keep it simple but very clear. Ifthey’re persistent, avoiding them or dodging their requests won’t work, so just be straightforward. Them: “Hey, how about I help you with those verbs after school?” You: “I don’t see us studying together, but thanks for asking.” THE STATUS One uncomfortable nanosecond isn’t so bad compared to an evening of forced interaction with someone you dislike. Adiós. THE OLD BESTIE WHO CAN’T WAIT TO MOVE ON THE SITCH She’s been part of your squad since second grade, but things changed over the summer when she clicked with a newcrew. You’re finewith it, butwhenever you’re together, she acts like she’d rather be elsewhere or brags about how much cooler her other friends are. THE STRATEGY Gradually ease her out of your life by making yourself less available. Them: “I’m going to be hanging at Sami’s house all day Saturday, but I’ll try to make it to the end of your party!” You: “Sounds like you have a full day planned. No worries.” THE STATUS No need to have a dramatic breakup, but consider this a sign to start making plans with friends who want to be with you, not someone who feels obligated to show up. THE NIGHTMARE BABYSITTING CLIENT THE SITCH You’ve satforthe neighborhood “twin terrors” for months, and you cringe when their parents call. Besides, the pay is lousy, and you always end up staying later than promised. THE STRATEGY You’re in control of your biz, so find a new family. Let Mr. and Mrs. Terrible Twos know you can’t sit anymore in a definitive way. Parent: “Hi! Are you free to babysit next Thursday night? The kids would love to see you again.” You: “I’m sorry, I’m not. I’m taking another regular sitting job, so I won’t be available anymore. Thank you, though, for the opportunity you gave me.” THE STATUS Your final, authoritative voice should prevent any repeat calls. THE LAB PARTNER WHO SHOULD FAIL CHEMISTRY THE SITCH Half your grade depends on a group project that you’re splitting with a science-hating partner. Her weak input could cost you that 4.0 GPA. You need to make like an atom and split—but how? THE STRATEGY Stay focused on your grades. Prepare to offer specific examples to show how incompatible you are. Your slacker partner: “Wouldn’t it be totally hilarious if we substituted my chai for water in the experiment?” You: “Not really, but I must be an incredibly boring lab partner. How about we see if we can switch?” THE STATUS Sometimes it’s not easy to make the case to your teacher that you need a new partner. For maximum effectiveness, share some of your lab partner’s comments as Exhibit A. THE FRIEND WHO REVEALS THEY’RE INTO YOU THE SITCH Your friend is amazing…but they want to be more than friends. The problem? You have zero romantic feelings for them. THE STRATEGY Minimize the awkwardness by explaining how much you cherish the friendship—but there’s no getting past the fact you see them only as a platonic pal. Them: “Don’t you think we should be more than friends?” You: “I think we’ve got it figured out just the way it is.” THE STATUS Don’t be shocked if the friendship needs a break: Some people become embarrassed when feelings aren’t mutual. Others could be crushed, but no matter how they react, remain honest about your feels (or lack thereof). YOUR BFF’S NEW BF THE SITCH Your bestie has a newboyfriend, and she is deliriously happy. One afternoon you’re texting with him about the history homework when he drops that he’s always liked you. THE STRATEGY If your BFF’s boy sends this message (in *any* form), he isn’t respectful of their relationship (or your friendship). Time to make it crystal clear that you’re not interested. Him: “I’ve always been kinda into you.” You: “And, ya know, I have always tolerated you…until today.” THE STATUS Should you tell your girl? Probably. But be prepared for potential fallout. She might feel humiliated and angry, but ultimately she’ll appreciate your honesty. THE BAE YOU NEED TO BREAK UP WITH THE SITCH You’re ready to call things off with bae. It’s nothing major, but you feel you’d have more fun being single again. THE STRATEGY Whether you didn’t share enough interests or had different priorities, tell them politely (and in private) it’s over. Them: “You said there was something we needed to talk about?” You: “I want to be open with you, and I’m not feeling asinto thisrelationship asI used to be. I need some space for myself right now.” THE STATUS If you’re sure you want to end things, stay strong if they plead to get back together. They might be heartbroken, but they’ll get over it—and you won’t regret W being true to yourself. ILLIE B. THOMAS/GETTY IMAGES.

You began with the best intentions. (Shiny new notebooks! Colorcoded folders! Step-by-step study plans!) But as the weeks have gone by, your HW assignments are starting to stack up…and you’re feeling like you’re about to be crushed by the time midterms roll around. Have no fear: It’s not too late to give your homework habits a reset and refresh that’ll last through June. So before you start in on that 350-page novel or science review packet, check off *this* list of to-dos… RETHINK YOUR PLANNER Your calendar might include every upcoming test/quiz/assignment for the month but, to be honest, that doesn’t matter if you’re not sure what to tackle with the limited time you have today. So make a list of everything you need to do soon, but ranked by how stressed you feel about it. Then, go in order of *that* list. Super confident about Thursday’s math test? Press pause on studying for it and focus on that challenging English essay instead. Even though it isn’t due for two weeks, you’ll feel better with an outline under your belt—giving you the motivation to tackle your other tough tasks. CREATE A MORE MELLOW MORNING ROUTINE Hey you, hitting snooze six times, checking your phone and dashing out the door with a Pop-Tart in hand: Time to start your morning in a calmer way. Begin the day on a better note by meditating for 10 minutes, then name three things you’re grateful for to get your head in the right spot. Or do a quick yoga flow. Or journal. Or cook breakfast. We’re here to save your school year A L R E A D Y 56 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 57 L IFE Whatever you decide to do, the point is to give yourself a full 15 to 20 extra minutes to prepare your mind/body/spirit for the day ahead. You might be extra tired the first week you try it, but it’ll balance out, trust. KEEP YOUR RIDE RELAXED New rule: Your transportation time is no longer homework time. Those free minutes on the bus or in Mom’s minivan are great for catching up with your BFFs, chatting with your siblings or updating your “good vibes” playlist. What they aren’t great for? Trying to finish geometry proofs as you drive over a billion speed bumps. So instead of rushing through problem sets, use your commute to center yourself and start the day energetic and confident. (Plus, keeping your mornings clear will motivate you to finish things the night before.) (RE)SET YOUR SPACE If you didn’t do it over the summer (or even if you did), now’s your moment. Take two hours to dig out your desk, getting rid of anything old or broken (bye dead highlighter). Then, assess what you need. Pro organizer Barbara Reich suggests creating a filing system with one folder for each subject. After each exam, neatly clip notes and worksheets to the back of the test and file it all away in case you need it for end-of-quarter prep. Once the school year’s over? Toss it into the recycling bin. COLLECT YOUR CLOTHES A total closet makeover isn’t necessary, but putting everything you wear on the reg in an easy-to-spot place is key (think: practice jerseys, your puffy jacket and other go-to gear all neatly stored in a drawer or hanging in your closet). “Choose a system and stick with it,” says organizing expert Rachel Rosenthal. “You can sort your clothes by color or by type.” You’ll never again have to ask, “Where’s my [whatever]?” COMPARTMENTALIZE EVERYTHING Is your backpack a black hole for books, folders, papers, makeup, keys, half-eaten snacks and (somehow) one dirty sport sock? After you dump it out, throw away trash and file old assignments, it’s time to give that bag some tough love. With each random item that you encounter, ask yourself: Does it go in your backpack, locker or back home? Write down your entire system in a Google Doc (so you can access it anywhere), and get more specific with what section in your backpack or locker or which folder in your room the item goes. This will make zipping through your day a breeze—and you’ll lose a lot less, too. PUT DOWN THE PHONE Yep, you’re dying to find out exactly what your pal’s crush said to her at the end of bio, but put the group text sesh on hold until you plow through your homework. “Texting is going to suck up an hour of your time,” explains Erica Rood, a life coach for teen girls. “And that means you’re going to stay up an hour later.” Can’t resist that notification buzz? Put your phone in another room and allow yourself a 10-minute check after each hour of study time. And tell your besties you’re busy: That way, they’ll know to hold onto all their latest love life updates until *after* the algebra quiz. LAY OUT YOUR LIFE You probably already plan out your outfit and pack a lunch on a school night. But what about all the other things you’ll need for the day? Continued on page 80 Classes have barely begun… and your grades are already, er, not exactly what you hoped. Time to get back on track.

YOUR ABILITY TO TUNE INTO OTHERS’ FEELINGS COULD BE YOUR SUPERPOWER. BY E R IN R EI M EL

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 59 L IFE ou’re known to bawl during sad movies (you won’t even watch it if it’s about a dog). You’re the go-to “shoulder to cry on” in your friend group. And after a long day of socializing, you usually need alone time to recharge. “I’ve always been the most emotional and sensitive one in the room,” confesses Makayla G., 16, who considers herself an empath since learning about the term on social media. “Sometimes people I don’t know well will, without being asked, just spill their deepest thoughts and their secrets to me.” While it’s not always easy to hold so many feels, there are big benefits to being extra aware of other people’s emotions. So, fellow empaths, let’s tune out from everyone else for a second and discover how to harness our powers—while still preserving our own inner peace. WHAT’S AN EMPATH? Everyone has empathy—the ability to understand and share in someone else’s feelings. But relating to someone’sfeelingsis differentthan being able to actually *feel*those emotions alongside them…even when you’re not experiencing a similarsituation atthattime. “An empath is someone who has a strong intuition, specifically someone who can experience the energies and emotions of others as if they were their own,” explains Tanya Carroll Richardson, a professional intuitive and author of Self-Care for Empaths and Zen Teen. If you are an empath, you’ve probably sensed this inexplicable connection to other people, even if you didn’t know how to explain it. “It can be very confusing, especially when people are mean or cruel to others and you’re feeling that pain,” says Margaret Paul, PhD, relationship expert and author of Inner Bonding. The perksto being an empath? You likely have very strong and meaningful relationships. You’re the one everyone leans on and wants around when they’re struggling or celebrating a huge win. No matterthe sitch, you show up. “I’m that person who makes other people feel less alone in their emotions,” reflects Ivani S., 17. “My friends go to me for advice and trust me with their feelings and stories, knowing I’m going to offer them understanding rather than judgment—and that means a lot to me.” PROTECTING YOUR ENERGY Of course, focusing on others and feeling their feelings(especially tough ones) can be exhausting. If you’re the friend who makes people feel heard,they’re going to keep coming to you—and you’re going to keep soaking up those emotions. Kami H., 16, can relate: “In the past, I felt a lot of pressure in my friend group to show up for everyone else. Sometimes I felt alone, wondering who would be there for me when I needed that shoulder to cry on.” If your empathetic nature is leaving you lonely and burnt out, time to protect your mental and emotional health. “Tell your friend you can only FaceTime for 15 minutes because you have to do homework—or leave your phone in your living room after 8 p.m. so you can’t keep texting all night,” Richardson suggests. Also know it’s OK to take a break.“Don’t be afraid to speak up, assert your needs and say, ‘I love you, butI can’t absorb all ofthisright now,’” explains Dr.Judith Orloff, author of The Empath’s Survival Guide. Friends and family who value you will understand and respect your boundaries. For Kami,that meantsharing her feelings with hersquad.“Isaid how much I appreciated being there forthem, butI can’t be the only one taking in the drama,”she remembers.“They were understanding, and a lot ofthem started reaching out more often to ask about how I wasfeeling.” Remember, your non-empath friends likely want to be there for you, too. You may just have to speak up and let them know. YOUR SELF-CARE MUST LIST Even with solid boundaries, taking care of yourself consistently is beyond important. First, set limits on how much time you spend consuming stressful news content. “Some people end up taking in the problems of the world and suffering for everyone else,” says Dr. Orloff. Seeing a video or even just hearing about upsetting current events can leave you totally drained. Next, channel your empathy in a healthy way. Volunteering uplifts Winnie T., 16. “It leaves me with a happy, productive energy—way better than just feeling sad about things I previously felt powerless to change,” she shares. Even when you’re beyond busy, be sure to prioritize self-care.“Whether it’s eating a healthy snack, relaxing in the bath or giving yourself a compliment aboutthe way you handled something in the past 24 hours, make time for it,” encourages Richardson. It’s also totally fine for you to spend time alone and disconnected from the drama, which is often the best way to refuel your battery. Butthe mostimportantthing you can do for yourself? Be proud of yoursensitive nature— and celebrate thatit makes you extraordinary. “Embrace your enthusiasm and your emotions,” advises Shauna E., 18.“It’s a beautifulthing to have a deep connection with other people.” YOU MIGHT BE AN EMPATH IF… Studies show that about 20% of us have high sensitivity. “If you answer yes to up to five of these questions, you are at least partially an empath,” explains Dr. Orloff, who developed this quick self-assessment quiz. More than five? You have strong empathy or are a full-blown empath. Have you often been called overly sensitive, shy or introverted? Do arguments or yelling make you feel sick? Do you often feel like you don’t fit in? Are you drained by crowds and need alone time to recharge? Are you overstimulated by noise, odors or nonstop talkers? Do you startle easily? Do you absorb other people’s stress, emotions or symptoms? Are you overwhelmed by multi-tasking and prefer doing one thing at a time? Do you prefer one-toone interactions or small groups rather than large gatherings? Does being in nature make you feel more centered and energized? KENTAROO TRYMAN/GETTY IMAGES. KENTAROO TRYMAN/GETTY IMAGES.

Sweatshirt, Nil+Mon. Skirt, Adiba. Socks, Champion. Shoes, Txunamy's own.

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 61 PH O T O GRAPHE D BY M I K E AZ R IA GET INS P I R E D BY KAYLEIGH RO B E R TS From the upcoming acting roles she’s not allowed to talk about (yet) to her anti-oversharing approach to social media, the 14-year-old actress is living proof that less can be more. is in her topsecret era

62 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 xunamy Ortiz has all of the style, charisma and talent you’d expect from a 14-year-old influencer-turned-actress. But lately, she’s also been cultivating something less expected from a person who’s been internet-famous since kindergarten: an air of mystery. Between all the things she’s not yet allowed to share about some of the most exciting upcoming projects on her résumé (and all the things she’s just plain not interested in sharing about her personal life), there are moments when it feels like the words “top secret” are printed in bold, red letters across her face. “I think what happens in your personal life should stay personal,” Txunamy explains with matter-of-fact confidence of her approach to social media, where she says she’s more likely to share random videos than details about herself or her friendships. This mindset may seem like a contradiction forsomeone who achieved fashion influencer status at just 6 years old, thanks to the OOTD pics her mom snapped every morning before school. (“It wasn’t like, ‘Oh, I’m gonna make her famous,’” she shares of her mom’s decision to post the photos and the organic way her career took off.“It wasjust, ‘I’m gonna post photos because she looks cute.’”) But growing up in the spotlight forced Txunamy to learn to balance the pressures of social media with creating (and keeping) her personal boundaries. Especially because as her following grew, so did her family’s: Their YouTube channel, Familia Diamond (which launched in 2017 and now has 8.63 million subscribers), chronicles the day-to-day nonstop adventures of Txunamy and her younger siblings Diezel (“he’s really funny”), Solage (“she’s a bouncy, lots of energy, light-inthe-dark kind of girl”) and Ranger (“he’s so cute!”). “My siblings are chaos, every day, all day—and they’re great,” she shares. “We’re always laughing together about something ridiculous. We’re all so close and tightknit. It’s a really special bond.” While Txunamy may be a private person at heart, the magnetic energy that led to her family’s internet fame has made her a recognizable face around the world. So it was not much of a surprise when some amaze opportunities began to appear in her DMs. Pretty soon, she landed an acting manager and started auditioning… badly, apparently. Unlike her effortless success as an influencer, Txunamy says she really struggled with acting at the start. “I wasn’t very good. I could only memorize, like, one line,” she says, laughing at the thought of one particularly cringey early audition. “I think it was a second callback, and it was for a commercial for, like, contacts or something. And I bombed it. It was horrible. I was so nervous that when they were like, ‘State your name and age,’ I went, ‘...What?’” It didn’t take long for Txunamy to overcome her audition anxiety and, by the time she was 8, she landed her now-iconic role as Brittany Diamond in Brat TV’s Mani (and, later, Chicken Girls). Since then, Txunamy has quietly laid the groundwork for her impressive next chapter, which includes her firstever feature film and multiple TV shows (including at least one high-profile Apple TV+ drama and an Amazon Prime Video project)—as well as the intriguing sort of mandated secrecy typically associated with can’t-miss content. While she can’t spill any plot secrets, she can’t wait to share what she’s been up to with her fans—and the powers-that-be in Hollywood. “I’d love to be nominated for an award. It’s exciting to think about, and it makes me work extra hard.” Also inspo? The performers she’s met along the way. “I really admire Lana Condor. She’s really made a name for herself in the industry. I aspire to be like her.” But not being allowed to share more about all of her hard-earned professional flexes was nothing compared to the last big secret she had to keep, which involved exciting news about something even more important to her than any acting role: her family. Spoiler alert: Txunamy’s mom is pregnant with the newest soon-to-be member of the Ortiz crew—which the fam announced back in July. But Txunamy knew much earlier than that. In fact, she even predicted her mom was expecting. The mother-daughter duo created a heartfelt video to reveal the positive pregnancy test, celebrating the happy news with screams and tears. Txunamy then had to keep her lips zipped for two entire months before the family was ready to make her mom’s exciting update Instagram-official. Sharing a pregnancy reveal with your mom (and even sensing she was expecting before she did) isn’t an everyday occurrence for your average teen, but Txunamy has always been a bit wiser than her years. “I’m always told I appear older simply because I radiate mature energy,” she says. “Probably because I’m the big sister and I love taking care of my siblings.” And while Txunamy is handling her career, her role as a big sib and even the start of high school with her trademark maturity, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like to have fun. Case in point: her plans for Halloween, which include trick-or-treating (“I’m trying to savor it as much as I can before I’m too old for it,” she says of candy collecting), hitting the amusement park (“Halloween Horror Nights is so fun to do with friends”) and pressing play on some scary flicks (“I’m always rewatching The Conjuring”). As for what she’s dressing up as? While she will share her past fave (“a cute little bunny costume with a big pink tutu—I wore it for Halloween like four years straight”), this year’s concept, like much of Txunamy’s world, remains a secret. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

STYLED BY LO VONRUMPF. HAIR BY GEORGE FRAGKIOUDAKIS. MAKEUP BY SOPHIA HUTCH. Two-piece set, Vegan Tiger. Sheer top, Glassons. Necklaces, Maison Miru. I'd love to be nominated for an award. It' s exciting to think about.

One girl’s journey into the science and surprises of elevating your mood. B Y E VA M A N D E L B A U M , 1 7

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 65 GET INS P I R E D Turns out, it really is the little things that can produce contentment. Dr. Santos talked about how much our habits are essential to creating the foundation for happiness. This means getting good sleep, moving your body, connecting with friends in person and doing anything that helps you lose track of time (in a good way). YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Do one thing each day that is simply about putting your well-being first. For me, that meant cutting an hour out of my study time to go to bed earlier for a week, deciding to spend a Saturday scrapbooking instead of at a fun (but draining) party or taking a moment away from tennis practice to laugh with a teammate during warm-up. These tiny habits put you in the best position to be successful, healthy and all-around happy. L E S S O N # 2 SPREAD GOOD ENERGY Each week, I had “happiness homework,” with assignments like performing acts of kindness. Throughout that week, I’d find ways to improve people’s lives such as complimenting a classmate’s outfit, holding the door for a teacher carrying laptops or reaching out to an old friend. Of course, I got a lot of positive reactions back from people. But no matterthe response, I just felt genuinely good when I did something nice. It made me want to do some extra credit (aka even more acts of kindness beyond the week) *and* helped me notice all the thoughtful things other people do for me, too. YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Do an act of kindness every day for aweek. It can be random (offering to help your sis fold her laundry when she’sswamped with school) orsomething you plan (volunteering at a charity event).Grab yourjournal and jot down how you feel each day. Then, note one act of kindness someone did for you. See? Those good vibesreally do add up. L E S S O N # 3 PRIORITIZE WHAT BOOSTS YOUR MOOD— RIGHT NOW One concept Dr. Santos taught centered on “affective forecasting,” or predicting what will make you happy in the future. And believe it or not, people often make mistakes when it comes to forecasting their own happiness. An example? Telling yourself that you’ll be happy if you get that A/get into your dream college/get that perfect internship. But in the meantime, you’re canceling your favorite online yoga class or missing out on movie night with your family so you can study. Is it worth it? Sure, you’ll get a rush when you see that A on your paper. But for the long term, studies show that it’s your overall happiness in high school, and not your GPA, that contributes the most to your success later on. YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Write down anything you’re doing now to benefit you down the road, like that AP class you hate or the club you’ve lost interest in. Then, make a list of the things you do throughout the week that*do* make you happy, from enjoyable-but-challenging commitments (like a sport you love) to little things (like watching your fave sitcom before bed). Can you drop anything on the first list? Does that give you time to prioritize activities on the second? L E S S O N # 4 PRACTICE GRATITUDE (AND NOT JUST FOR THE GOOD THINGS) I’ve always heard how important it is to express thankfulness for all the amazing stuff I have in my life…but how does that actually work? To answer this, we learned about a technique in class called negative visualization. Negative visualization is where you think of something that matters to you (like your friend group, your musical theater camp or your cross-country team). Then, you close your eyes and picture your life without it. Once you realize how your life could shift without those important elements, you may be more grateful than ever for all you have. YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Give negative visualization a try. Here’s how I did it: I was getting frustrated with how many commitments I had with my family when I’m so busy. Butthen, when I imagined my fall without Friday night dinners, inside jokes with my sis during road trips and holiday CATHERINE DELAHAYE/GETTY IMAGES. Continued on page 82

66 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 THE GOOD BRIGADE/GETTY IMAGES. 1. You post an Insta Story in your cute new crochet cardigan, and your camp bud Malia replies asking where you got such a gorg sweater. You tell her… A. The name of the shop where you found it, how much it cost and all the cool places you plan to wear it this year. B. That you found it on Depop. Then, you compliment her fab style in the latest photo dump she posted. You didn’t make it to Abby’s movie marathon last night, and your crew wants to know why. Truth be told, you ate way too much of your dad’s five-alarm chili and your stomach hurt for hours—but does the whole squad *really* need to know that? There’s a fine line between revealing the right amount of info and offering too much…or not enough. Answer these Q’s to find out if your sharing skills need sharpening. WONDERING WHETHER YOU’RE THE HUMAN VERSION OF THAT SEVENPART TMI TIKTOK STORYTIME? THEN THIS QUIZ IS FOR YOU. A R E Y O U A C H R O N I C O V E R S H A R E R ?

7. When it comes to social media, what do you typically post? A. Hmm…pretty much whatever’s on your mind. You’ve got TikTok rants complaining about your strict parents, Snap Stories detailing your nightly snack choices and a “Close Friends” Instagram highlight that’s basically your diary. B. Monthly roundups of your fave pics and the occasional Story when you’re doing something cool, like a family vacation or your Friendsgiving brunch. C. Insta Stories for your best friend’s birthday and that’s it. If you ever do post a pic to the grid, you end up archiving it within the week. Too cringe. 8. Your lab partner is always trying to pry info from you about your friend Riley (she clearly has a crush). When she asks what Riley’s up to over your school’s fall break, you… A. Fill her in on all Riley’s plans, from tomorrow’s soccer warm-ups to that Saturday morning dentist appointment. B. Say Riley’s coming over to your house on Sunday to study for next week's chem test, and you’re ordering nachos. Maybe she’d want to “randomly” swing by, too? C. Tell her you don’t keep track of Riley’s calendar, so if she wants to know she’ll just have to ask someone else. GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 67 SPILL-ALL SWEETIE Talk much? You keep your crew cracking up with tons of funny stories. It’s great that you have the gift of gab, but remember that not everyone needs (or deserves!) to know your innermost thoughts (or, ofc, hear you spilling anyone else’s secrets). So when you sense you’re starting to overshare, take a step back and let other people talk...or simply appreciate a golden moment ofsilence. SAVVY SHARER You know when to spill—and when to keep things to yourself. Your besties know that you’re always approachable and a great listener. You have a knack for getting to know new people, especially since you give them plenty of attention and ask meaningful questions. But don’t be scared to turn the spotlight on yourself once in a while— after all, you have a lot of fab stuff to share. SEALED-LIPS SIS You tend to be guarded, keeping all of your secrets and storiessafely stashed away. While nothing’s wrong with leaving personal stuff, well, personal, remember that smartly sharing parts of yourself is how friendships form. So next time you start clamming up in a convo, challenge yourself to let the true you shine through. MOSTLY A’s MOSTLY B’s MOSTLY C’s GET INS P I R E D C. Thanks—but nothing else. Hey, you can’t be revealing your go-to Etsy store and risk others stealing your aesthetic. 2. On the last day of your after-school art program, your neighbor Kate texts you that she’s stuck at home with the worst cramps. She asksif you could pick up her final projects,so you… A. Snag her masterpieces from the shelf, then whisper the whole deal to the other girls at your table so they don’t think it’s weird you’re grabbing Kate’s stuff. B. Talk to the teacher after class and tell them Kate’sfeeling sick. Then, buy her your fave cramp-curing chocolate bar on the way home to cheer her up. C. Carefully wrap Kate’s sculptures in paper and tuck them in with your sketches. If anyone starts asking you where she is, you’ll just shrug. 3. Your girls are suggesting going for ice cream after the game tonight but, eek…your doc just told you to steer clear of dairy or risk the runs. What now? A. Group text your crew, explain all your cow-centric complications and ask to go to the smoothie place instead. B. Join them but choose a vegan cookie over your usual shake. You’ll fill your bestie in later. C. Order a single scoop. Taking a few bites is better than telling the whole group about your sitch. 4. Over apps at Thanksgiving, Uncle Roy asks you how school’s going this year. What’s your standard family member debrief? A. The total lowdown: You have a B+ in Spanish but your recent extra-credit presentation might change that, you’re trying out for chorus this winter *and* your lunch period is a bust without your BFF there. B. That you’re loving Honors English and the field hockey team, then ask how his year has been going. C. That everything’s great and hope he moves on. It’s only been a couple of months—no need for a whole conversation about it. 5. Your new friend Sierra has her driver’s license and offers to drive you to your next dance competition an hour away. What do you talk about? A. Everything, from decoding texts about your situationship to how your friend Ellie has been acting kinda weird lately to why you think your algebra teacher doesn’t like you. B. Whatever you have in common: funny stories about your new puppy (she hearts dogs) or the latest updates on all your dance studio pals. C. Anything Sierra brings up. She’s driving the car—and the convo. 6. You're chatting with your crush over pizza when the subject of your ex comes up. You… A. Spill your heart out about how amazing the relationship was and how devastated you were when it ended. After all, you want them to hear all the honest deets from you, right? B. Explain that you and your ex dated for a couple months before heading in different directions, then pivot to who will win the big game this weekend. C. Escape to “grab more napkins” and change the subject when you’re back. No need to fixate on the past.

BY KELLY SCHWINT, 19, AS TOLD TO KATHERINE HAMMER can remember the first day I downloaded Instagram. It was 2014 and I was 10 years old. I couldn’t wait to snap a (filtered) selfie for my profile picture, add all of my fifth-grade classmates as followers and, of course, participate in every photo challenge social media had to offer. Fast forward nearly nine years later and that enthusiasm for Instagram had been replaced with something more like…obligation? Anxiety? Dread? I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was wasting my free time staring down at my feed and feeling unnecessarily bad about myself as I got lost in comparison. How did I get to this point? And how could I go back to those happier times? My search for answers led me to a surprisingly simple solution. FALLING INTO OBSESSION For the first few years, social media was a dream come true. I could finally catch up with my best friend during school breaks, reconnect with old elementary school pals and preserve my best sunset photography. And, yes, there are benefits to joining the apps, experts say. “Social media allows teens to stay in touch with faraway family, discover new AND YO U CAN, I STO PPED MY 68 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 SOCIAL MEDI Why a much-needed reset should be in your future.

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 69 TO O creative outlets, access a wide range of inspiration and connect with like-minded communities,” explains digital wellness expert Taíno Bendz. But amid those passing catch-up DMs and stunning skies, a darker side started to emerge for me. My friends and I became consumed with our follower count: Preserving your “ratio” was very important (aka having more followers than people you followed). When I wasn’t stressing about my numbers, I’d scroll for hours. By the time we got to high school, Facetune was the norm, finstas and Stories meant there were more trends than ever to keep up with and seemingly perfect influencers were everywhere. Whether it was a famous celeb on a luxury vacay or a classmate posting about her hilarious friend group, it felt like everyone was living a better life than me. I knew from the beginning that social media was a highlight reel. Even if I didn’t use a filter, everything was filtered—from the “candid” pictures I’d pick to post to whom I chose to follow. But knowing that didn’t make the feelings of comparison and insecurity vanish. It just made me stress about when my “highlight reel” was going to get better. “If social media is starting to interfere withdailytasks,replacereal-lifeconnections, lead to a constant desire to be validated or create a state of comparison thatincreases feelings of anxiety and depression, it may be time to reduce or pause it altogether,” advises psychotherapist Duygu Balan. A ADDICTION GET INS P I R E D Continued on page 80 GOING OFF THE GRID 101 Taking a break just isn’t enough? You might want to ditch the apps entirely. Yes, it’s possible—without losing your besties. PLAN IT. Decide on a date (say, 30 days ahead) when you’ll quit social media. Write down your passwords, screenshot your fave photos and see if your go-to fashion influencer has a YouTube channel or blog you can bookmark. Spending hours a day on the platforms? Take shorter breaks before you cut things off for good so you know what feelings and situations arise…and you can prepare for how to deal. CREATE A NEW CONTACT. You’ve let your IRL crew know you won’t be using the apps anymore—but consider if you want to delete your account entirely. “When I decided to go off Instagram, I made my account private, archived my old posts and changed my bio to read that I no longer had Instagram but people could DM my best friend for my number,” says Elise B., 16, who’s been IG-free for almost a year. “That way I know no one is trying to contact me and can’t.” START A MOVEMENT. Hearing about your app-free life might inspire others to join you. Next time a friend is complaining about the constant compare-and-despair, suggest a weeklong break. Soon you’ll become a source of advice for anyone seeking a reset. REMIND YOURSELF WHY YOU DO IT. You’re not living life without social media, you’re living it with your family, friends and newfound free time. “When someone asks me, ‘Oh, did you see that Snap Story last night?’ I don’t just say no— I get more specific, like, ‘Oh, I didn’t, I was baking,’” says Aylah P., 15. “It helps remind me of everything I am doing when I’m not on Snapchat instead of feeling left out.” SHOW COMPASSION IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND. Maybe you go a month, a year or more without social media…and something (like a new youth group or college acceptance) pushes you to press “download” again. That’s completely OK. Social media isn’t going anywhere—and it’s not all bad. What’s most valuable is knowing you have the power to step away.

It’s that time of the month again: You have your period…and a million questions to go along with it. We asked experts to weigh in on your most pressing Q’s: what’s normal and what stuff raises a (literal) red flag—so you can go with the, uh, flow. YO U R PROBS,

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 71 QUESTIONABLE COLORS Your period blood is 50 shades of red…and brown…and everything in between. NORMAL: No need to panic if your tampon looks more coffee-stained than firetruck: “Any variation of color can be normal,” explains gynecologist Dr. Christine O’Connor. It all depends on your blood flow and how long the blood has been sitting inside your uterus. Those dark brown (and yes, sometimes even black) splotches you see? Just oxidized blood that took a little longer to leave your body. NOT NORMAL: Pink is a beautiful color... just not on your pad. A consistent light pink blood flow during your period could indicate that you’re deficient in a key nutrient (most likely iron) or that your estrogen levels are low. Either way, talk to your doctor if you’re seeing pink. SUPER SOAKER You’re going through tampons like crazy. NORMAL: On average, you’ll go through three to six pads or tampons a day. Of course, everyone’s flow is different (and it can even vary from month to month), but a day or two of pad-soaking, particularly at the beginning of your cycle, is perfectly OK. NOT NORMAL: How heavy is too heavy? If you’re changing your tampon every hour or if your menstruation is super intense for more than a week (or if you notice any kind of drastic change), check in with your doc. SPORADIC CYCLE Here this month, gone the next: You never know when it’s going to show up. NORMAL: A regular cycle (counted from the first day of bleeding in one period to the first day of the next) is anywhere from 21 to 35 days (28 on average). One in 10 women experiences irregular cycles, but how often you get your period is a significant marker of your health, so tracking is key (just use your journal or Notes app to jot down when your period starts and ends). Keep an eye out for changes—though remember that when your period first starts, it can take a year or longer for your cycles to regulate since your brain, uterus and ovaries are still syncing up. NOT NORMAL: There are many factorsthat cause a missed period:stress, diet, outof-whack hormones or, if you’re sexually active, pregnancy (to name a few). See your gynecologist or primary care physician if your cycles are consistently more than two to three months apart, advises Dr. O’Connor. KILLER CRAMPS Everything hurts—your stomach, back, all of it. Make. It. Stop. NORMAL: During your menstrual phase, your body produces chemicals known as prostaglandins that cause your uterus to contract, pushing out the lining. Every so often, those contractions are so intense that they cut off blood supply...and you get gut-wrenching cramps. Typically, they last three to four days at the start of your period and are annoying—but not unbearable. NOT NORMAL: If your cramps are constantly sidelining you, alert your doc. Know that while severe period pain could indicate a more serious condition, it also can be caused by diet. Eating too much sugar, fatty foods or dairy may be linked to inflammation, which can worsen cramps. Your doctor can offer solutions. POOP PROBLEM You either can’t go—or you’re going all the time. (Whichever way, yikes.) NORMAL: During your period, your ovaries produce a hormone called progesterone, which slows down your gastrointestinal (GI) tract (hi, constipation and bloating). Later, as progesterone decreases, let’s just say things are loosened up quite a bit. Stay hydrated and eat fruits and veggies that are high in fiber (beans, legumes, apples and berries are all good choices) to keep things moving the way they should. NOT NORMAL: Bloody or painful poops could signify endometriosis or irritable bowel syndrome (a condition that affects about 12% of Americans). So let your doctor know immediately if you experience any of these toilet troubles. OVERPOWERING ODOR Something stinks—time to check in. NORMAL: “Blood has a metallic odor on its own, and when mixed with vaginal bacteria and mucus, it’s much more intense…but normal,” explains Dr. Leah Millheiser, an OB-GYN clinical professor at Stanford University Medical Center. Fight the funk by changing your tampon or pad every three to four hours. Also, take a daily probiotic (eat yogurt with probiotics or go for a supplement) to help balance the bacteria in your bod. Opt for cotton underwear to avoid any sweat buildup and let your vagina breathe. And take it easy in the shower: Your vagina actually has glands that produce self-cleaning fluid, so simply wash the outside area with water. If you do use soap? Stay away from harsh or perfumed ones that could mess with your pH levels. NOT NORMAL: If things smell a bit fishy, it could be bacterial vaginosis, an infection that you’re more susceptible to during your period because of the increase in your vaginal pH (chat with your doc about it). Otherwise, don’t stress about smells, assures Dr. O’Connor. COLOSSAL CLUMPS What is that giant mass on your pad?! NORMAL: Keep calm and, um, clot on. During your period, menstrual blood is usually broken down before it leaves the body. But when your flow pushes it out too fast, you end up with those chunky jelly-like blobs. As long as the clots are around the size of a raisin, they’re perfectly fine. NOT NORMAL: Schedule a visit with your gyno if you notice frequent oversized clots (think: larger than a quarter), or if your blood is always chunky, as it may be a sign of uterine fibroids or an enlarged uterus. MOODY MONSTER Your friends and fam know to stay far away from you during that time of the month. NORMAL: Mood swings, irritability and fatigue: The PMS (premenstrual syndrome) struggle is real. Instead of fighting your feelings, be patient with yourself. Aim to get nine hours of sleep a night (you need more zzz’s when you’re menstruating), stick with your workout (increased endorphins = happier you) and skip the caffeine (it actually can make you grouchier, eep). Remember: This too shall pass, we promise. NOT NORMAL: Severe depression or off-thecharts rage could be a sign of premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), a condition that affects all aspects of your life. If you feel like your PMS is out of control, make an appointment with your doctor ASAP. HEALTH

72 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 COUNT LESS SHEEP, GET MORE SLEEP! YES, IT IS POSSIBLE TO BEAT THE BEDTIME BLUES. t’s Monday morning, and (despite sleeping until noon yesterday) you can barely keep your eyes open as your bestie recounts her wild family adventures from the weekend. Not to mention that the only thing getting you through secondperiod geography is a venti iced green tea, tyvm. But no amount of caffeine or OMG-worthy stories can save you from the truth: You’re. Just. Plain. Tired. And sadly, you aren’t alone. There’s no doubt that summer throws off every teen’s sleep schedule. And a few months into the school year, you’re likely more stressed than ever when it comes to balancing tough classes, packed sports afternoons and friend group drama. Oh, and let’s not forget that when you *finally* get in bed after a busy day, you find yourself falling into late-night brain spirals about everything from your weekend fitto climate change. According to the National Sleep Foundation, up to 70 million Americans have some type of sleep disorder. Even more alarming? The fact that more than 87% of teens aren’t getting even close to enough sleep every night. So how much is enough? “Most tween and teen girls need between 8.5 and 9.5 hours of sleep,” says Dr. Joseph Ojile, founder and medical director of Clayton Sleep Institute. But too many girls don’t make sleep a priority—and with a packed planner, it’s often the first thing that gets sacrificed. While the very occasional all-nighter (like staying up to watch the sunrise with your bestie) is OK, skipping sleep on the reg has serious consequences. “Your brain is still developing, and your body is working really hard to compensate for lack of sleep,” explains clinical psychologist Dr. Stephanie O’Leary. “Poor sleep can lead to high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which can cause problems with metabolism, concentration and mood.” Basically, those minimal zzz’s are causing more than just dark circles under your eyes. We live in a culture where people are tempted to brag about how little sleep R E A D T H IS… T H E N G O T O B E D

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 73 HEALTH they get. Butit’s not actually good for any of us. “There are three things that make up healthy living: eating right, exercise and, of course, sleep,” explains Dr. Ojile. To help you stay healthy and rested, we’ve decoded the most common sleep sitches—and share how to finally, well... put them to bed. (And, yep, it’s normal to fall into more than one category.) DOZING DILEMMA THE WEEKEND WARRIOR THIS MIGHT BE YOU IF… You don’t roll out of bed until 2 p.m. on Saturday. SLEEP SOLUTION: Time to revamp your routine. When you aren’t getting enough Continued on page 84 1. PROPER PILLOW A body pillow not only keeps your muscles and joints properly aligned as you snooze but also makes sleeping on your side (which helps stop snoring) way more comfortable. 2. SOUND THERAPY Whether it’s your brother playing video games in his room, your neighbor’s dog barking outside or just the thoughts in your head, a sound machine can help silence distractions. With a 10-stage volume setting, you can customize your noise level and choose from calming sounds like rain or ocean waves (without having to reach for your phone). 3. WEIGHTED BLANKET Through a process that scientists call “deep pressure touch stimulation,” weighted blankets increase the amount of serotonin (a chemical that reduces stress and anxiety) in your body so you can score some deeper sleep. 4. EYE MASK Keep out any ambient light with an eye mask. Total darkness stimulates the production of melatonin, a hormone that regulates your sleep cycles and signals to your brain that it’s time to hit the hay. 5. PILLOW SPRAY Spritz your pillow with the soothing aromas of lavender and chamomile to calm your nervous system for sweet dreams. (FYI: Applying aromatherapy oil or body lotion with the same herbal fragrances will also do the trick.) 6. A BETTER ALARM A natural light alarm clock simulates sunrise, waking you more gently than a blaring iPhone. Morning, sunshine! These dreamy essentials will help you snag some serious shut-eye. LEVEL UP YOUR SLEEP ROUTINE 1. Urban Outfitters, $70 4. Ban.do, $19 6. Jall, $60 2. Babenhome, $65 3. Bearaby, $200 5. This Works, $30

Your perfect workout week IMGORTHAND/GETTY IMAGES. BY KATHLEEN O’NEILL AND ZOË WEINER Enter your fitness girlie era, one day at a time. When you finally land on a workout you love, it’s tempting to hit up that spin class/trail run/pickleball court every time you want to get moving. A big yes to you finding a way to enjoy exercise, but sticking to the same old fitness sesh can lead to muscle imbalances and increase your risk of injury, says fitness expert Tamara Teragawa. “By changing up your workouts, you can work different muscle groups and build strength, balance, endurance, agility, speed and power.” Not to mention that the monotony can get boring—which could make you more likely to bail on your goals. The optimal weekly mix? Workouts that incorporate strength, cardio, stretching and rest. Sounds easy enough, but coming up with the perfect plan can be overwhelming. That’s why we talked to exercise experts to craft a no-stress, day-byday guide, so you can get fit without feeling like a, um, dumbbell. Do *THIS* on Tuesdays. Do *THIS* on Saturdays. Do *THIS* on Thursdays. WE JUST DESIGNED

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 75 HEALTH M o n d a y Lower body strength training (30-45 minutes) Ease into the week with a low-impact routine that targets your legs and glutes. “Strength training builds muscle mass, which supports your joints, prevents injury and builds bone density,” says Andrea Speir, founder of Speir Pilates. Though many strength workouts are done with weights or resistance bands, you can still get the benefits by using body weight alone. Squats, lunges and glute bridges can all be done with or without dumbbells. Start by stretching for five minutes (sit like a butterfly, hug your knees to your chest and rotate your ankles). Then, head to girlslife.com/iti to follow along with our go-to strength circuits. Tu e s d a y HIIT dance sesh on YouTube (25 minutes) You’ll heart HIIT (high-intensity interval training) for a busy weekday because it allows you to get a great cardio workout in a short amount of time. “Cardio-focused work pumps blood and oxygen through your muscles and lungs, building strength and improving your mood by boosting endorphins,” explains Speir. Plus, a dance routine will keep you engaged and motivated (doing 50 burpees in a row isn’t exactly exciting), so look for a workout with a fun soundtrack (emkfit’s Mamma Mia! HIIT workout is a forever fave). We d n e s d a y Upper body strength training (30-45 minutes) Aim for two to three strength-training workouts per week, alternating muscle groups every time you hit the mat (aka legs at the beginning of the week, arms today). Begin by (you guessed it) stretching your upper body: Clasp your hands behind your back, flex your wrists and do some arm circles. Grab some dumbbells and work your upper body with a combo of bicep curls, tricep kickbacks and rows. Then, take a few minutes to cool down and stretch again at the end of your workout—it’ll reduce muscle soreness the next day. T h u rs d a y 12-3-30 treadmill workout (30 minutes) You don’t have to be gasping for breath for your cardio sesh to be effective. That’s why a LISS (low-intensity steady-state) treadmill walk is perfect for midweek. LISS cardio involves exerting a low to medium amount of energy for a long, continuous period of time to keep your heart rate consistently elevated. The result? All the benefits of normal cardio, without the joint strain and muscle fatigue of hardcore HIIT. Set your treadmill incline to 12% and walk at a pace of 3 miles per hour for 30 minutes. The walking checks the cardio box, while the added incline works your glute muscles. (This workout is best served with a hype Taylor Swift playlist.) F ri d a y Yoga (45 minutes) Wind down the week with a gentle flow that’ll improve flexibility and work your bod in different ways than a traditional strength-training circuit (yoga tones everything at once). Bonus: Holding those poses increases muscle endurance, plus yoga lets you tune into your breathing and build mindbody awareness (which can help power you through a tough mile or correct your dead-lift form down the road). S a t u r d a y Afternoon hike with your besties (60 minutes) It’s the weekend, so why not welcome it with a workoutslash-BFF-bonding-moment? Gather your crew for a low-key autumn nature hike. Active recovery (aka performing a low-intensity exercise like hiking) after a full week of sweat seshes reduces muscle soreness by flushing toxins out of your system—all while keeping your fitness routine in check. Plus, some studies show that exercising with friends can boost workout motivation and decrease stress. S u n d a y Rest day Your rest days are just as important as your active days—they give your muscles time to repair themselves in between workouts (which, newsflash, they need in order to get stronger). “The rest day is when your muscles actually change and grow,” notes Speir. Take at least one day off (two if you’re just starting out) during the week so you’re not overdoing it. The best time to break a sweat? The one that works for you. Whether you prefer early a.m. runs or hitting the mat after a long day, studies show there are benefits to both. Early bird • Starting your day with a sweat sesh will not only make you feel accomplished right off the bat, but it can also rev up your metabolism, improve your focus and enhance your quality of sleep. Night owl • An evening exercise is great for transitioning from school time to self-care. Plus, you can release pent-up energy and let go of lingering stress. Just be sure to schedule your p.m. workout to finish at least one hour before bedtime to avoid messing with your sleep. WHEN TO WORK OUT

76 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 LEFT: INSTAGRAM.COM/RUSTYCHICDECOR, RIGHT: INSTAGRAM.COM/FUNKISSD. OPPOSITE PAGE: FROM TOP RIGHT, CLOCKWISE: INSTAGRAM.COM/MARTARODIE, INSTAGRAM.COM/KELLY.CERRI, INSTAGRAM.COM/MYFOODANDFAMILY, INSTAGRAM.COM/_OURDAILYJOURNEY_. Gather up, girls and ghouls: You have guests to trick *and* treat. BY LENA GENOVESE AND KATHLEEN O’NEILL In the words of China Anne McClain’s iconic Halloween hit, we’re “calling all the monsters.” Spooky season is officially upon us, and the best way to celebrate? A creepy, crawly kickback for your crew. Get ready to have so much fun it’s scary, thanks to our whodunit games (yes, they’re cool again), sweet ‘n’ sour candy creations and the perfect ratio of fright to fab. Hold onto your broomsticks, bc this Halloween hang is guaranteed to put a spell on your guests. Halloween T H I S I S H O W Y O U DARING DECOR Witch’s brew To DIY a faux bubbling bev, blow up balloons in purple and smoky hues. Thread the knotted ends through a balloon strip ($5, partycity. com), varying the pattern as you go. Attach a Command hook to the wall where you want the top of your balloons to hang, then turn your arrangement vertically and place the last hole of your balloon strip on the hook. Arrange the bottom of the balloon bunch in a cauldron (snag one at a party supply store). Spooky settings The key to an on-theme tablescape? A fabulously freaky centerpiece. Paint pumpkins with white acrylic paint, then give your gourds the ghost treatment by adding black eyes and noses. Pumpkin plates are a must (snag some Augisteen Pumpkin Paper Plates, 24 for $12, amazon.com), as are faux cobwebs and orange and black balloons. @rustychicdecor

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 77 Mummies in a blanket Flour your countertop. Next, pop a can of crescent roll dough and spread into a rectangle. Cut into 10 equal strips. Grab a miniature hot dog and wrap with a strip, leaving room at the top for eyes. Bake at 375° F until golden brown (about 13 minutes). Remove from oven and let cool for five minutes before placing candy eyes on each mummy. Spiderweb seven-layer dip Spread a can of refried beans in a serving dish. Mix 8 ounces of cream cheese with ½ cup of sour cream and 2 tablespoons of taco seasoning. Layer over beans. Then, pile on salsa, green onions, jalapeño peppers and cheese. Spoon a layer of guac on top and garnish with halved cherry tomatoes, cilantro and olives. Finally, fill a Ziploc bag with sour cream, snip off the corner and pipe a cobweb design on top. Candy charcuterie board What Halloween bash is complete without sweets? Fill a platter with candy corn, cheese balls and other fan faves (yes to chocolate-drizzled caramel corn), then adorn the surrounding space with Orange Creme Oreos, yogurt-covered pretzels, gummy worms and peeled clementines. Eyeball juice A gory spin on a classic party punch: Combine one 52-ounce bottle of mixed berry juice with a 2-liter bottle of Sprite or club soda. To make some freaky floating eyeballs, drain a can of lychees, then gently press a blueberry into the cavity of each fruit. TREATS NOT TRICKS Murder mystery This one *does* require some planning in advance. (You have to tell your guests which character they are before they arrive—decked out in their house colors, ofc.) But solving a spine-chilling IRL puzzle with your besties is basically peak Halloween bonding. A Harry Potter-themed party pack will have you guessing all night long. Truth or scare Grab orange and purple cardstock and cut into rectangles. Next, separate into two decks and label the cards in each pile as “Truth” or “Scare.” On the blank sides, write out Halloween-themed Q’s (Do you believe in ghosts? What movie is too scary to watch?) and daring to-dos (tell a 90-second ghost story). M AK E IT CUTE GHOSTLY GAMES @_ourdailyjourney_ @kelly.cerri @myfoodandfamily @martarodie Wizarding Murder Mystery Game Kit, $52, mastersofmystery.com

78 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 You’re rarely without the aux, have a fairly impressive knowledge of niche remixes and seem to discover everyone right before they blow up. Safe to say, you’re music obsessed. And while it’s useful to have your entire Spotify catalog in the palm of your hand, it’s not always the best way to take in your fave artists. Enter record collecting. Much like other nostalgic formats (think: film cameras and hardcover books), analog is having a moment. Why? For starters, the sound on vinyl isn’t the same as on your phone’s speaker—it’s closer to how the artist sounds live. Plus, album covers are also amazingly aesthetic. Ready to level up your bedroom vibe? Look no further than your most beloved musicians. And as you search stores for your next soundtrack, figure out the perfect way to display your faves and swap new finds with friends, you’ll connect with others— and yourself. Sure, collecting vinyl takes effort and energy, but that’s actually a *good* thing. “I always feel more present when I play records,” says musician and audio aficionado Joe DeCarolis. “Having a physical object to hold, look over the liner notes and photos and flip the sides makes me pay more attention and makes listening to music a more active experience for me.” So before you relegate that newly acquired copy of 1989 (Taylor’s Version) to your bookshelf, let’s start a record collection worthy of your wildest dreams. FOR THE RECORD Forever faves? Cool releases? Throwback finds? There’s no right or wrong way to begin, says DJ Maria Sciarrino: “Don’t worry about what other people PUT YOUR RECORDS ON ATTENTION, MUSIC LOVERS: IT’S TIME TO GET INTO VINYL. BY KATHERINE HAMMER

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 79 think of your collection. Just stay open-minded and trust your gut.” To truly make your collection meaningful, take your time building it. “Pick an album that always pumps you up, another that gets you in your feelings and a childhood classic,” shares Haylee H., 16, who’s been collecting records since eighth grade. “Then, try something that aligns with your current musical interests and another that’s totally brand new but something about it resonates with you—even if it’s the cover art.” Ready to buy your first? Head to a record store with your family or BFF. (Try to go on Fridays when new albums are released.) You can ask the people who work there for recommendations or just flip through the stacks to see what speaks to you. And don’t forget to hit up the merch booth at your next concert: “Buying directly from the artists you love at their shows is one of the best ways to support them and keep them making music,” says DeCarolis. HANDLE WITH CARE You have your first records…now it’s time to get organized. As you acquire more vinyl, you may want to land on a system to help you find your faves like alphabetical, color-coded or chronological order. “I love switching up my method, sometimes organizing by color for the aesthetic, by artist or even by new picks versus older faves,” says Reagan T., 17. And after putting all that time and effort into creating a unique, valuable collection, be mindful of taking care of it, too. Plastic sleeves, paper inserts and a well-sized shelving and storage system are essential, experts say. So is proper maintenance like dusting off and cleaning your records every few months. (For the full list of record care must-haves, head to girlslife.com/iti.) DROP THE NEEDLE ON THE RECORD Curating, cataloging and taking care of your albums is just part of the fun—the real payoff comes from playing them. There are tons of options when it comes to buying your first record player. Some offer cool, classic looks (like the Crosley suitcase, see above) while others (like freestanding turntables) give better sound quality plus allow you to expand your system as your knowledge and interest increase. The key to picking the right record player? Think about your budget, what you want out of it (looks vs. sound vs. ease of upgrade) and how complicated a setup you can master. (If the words amps, platters, cartridges and tonearms mean something to you, you are probably ready to customize your components.) Do your research, talk to other collectors and ask the staff at record stores what they recommend. New or used, beginner or advanced— there’s a turntable for everyone. GIVE IT YOUR SPIN Much like your musical taste, your vinyl collection will be ever-evolving—and that’s completely OK. Don’t be afraid to go in a new direction, whether that means selling an underused album to score a rare find, sticking to a single vibe (or even color) with your collection or just playing your records all the time instead of stressing about displaying them. (Word to the wise: Just don’t leave them on the floor.) Remember the first time you heard a song you loved or an artist you connected with? Through your collection, you’re making those memories visible. “Every record I have has a story attached to it,” says Sciarrino. “Together, it’s the story of who I am as a person—and as a person who loves music.” URBAZON/GETTY IMAGES. M AK E IT CUTE YOUR VINYL COLLECTION STARTER KIT Your limited-edition copy of GUTS just found its home. PLAY IT Obviously, a turntable is a must. STORE IT Snag record divider tabs to match your organization system of the moment. DISPLAY IT Psst: Your fave albums aren’t just soundtracks. Now you have a piece of art *and* a classic conversation starter. Crosley Voyager Vintage Portable Record Player in Amethyst, $72, amazon.com PrestigeDesignCrafts Now Playing Record Stand, $40, etsy.com Hudson Hi-Fi Kensington Vinyl Record Storage Holder in Black, $27, hudsonhifi.com

tried, I’d never know. I took a deep breath and deletedmy once-beloved,mostintoxicating app. FINDING BALANCE I’m not going to tell you deleting Instagram was easy. Several times a day, I’d feel my thumb swipe toward the app and legitimately feel nauseous when it wasn’t there. Thoughts raced through my head: What are people posting? Am I missing something big? What if I get an important message from someone who doesn’t know I’m inactive? Whenmy socialmedia FOMOstarted to spiral, it was helpful to vent to my friends and write in my journal. Balan agrees: “A good way to unplug is to do something that is incompatible with being online.” I told myself I had to go two full weeks without Instagram so, for that time, I filled my calendar with things like reading in the library, going for walks, watching movies with my family and cleaning my room. The two weeks passed—slowly, but they did. And, just as slowly, those feelings of comparison began to fade. I’m not going to say I suddenly had the highest self-esteem…but I did feel more focused, more present and more comfortable in the world. Finally, I felt connected to that carefree, creative version of myself before I’d ever had my own smartphone. I did miss catching up with certain friends, seeking out new music, fashion and recipes and, yes, checking my DMs. Unlike Snapchat, I realized that I wasn’t ready for a fully Instagram-free life…and that was OK. But I also realized I could survive a break intact and happier. So here’s my promise to myself: When I feel trapped in the endless scroll and find myself starting to worry I’m not measuring up, I’ll take a two-week break from social media. If I’m not ready to go back, I won’t. Maybe someday I’ll leave the platforms behind forever. Maybe I’ll find some mental distance without having to delete the app completely. For now, I’ve found a solution that works for me…and maybe it will for you, too. It might be cheesy but it’s true: Hundreds of people liking your latest Story might feel good, but *nothing* compares to liking yourself. Balan nailed it: I wasn’t the carefree, creative person I used to be. It was time to make a change. BEGINNING MY BREAK I started trying to curb my social media consumption by using the tools the apps gave me…but they ended up being zero help. Time limits? They only led me to click “ignore.” Unfollowing accounts? I knew usernames by heart. Putting my phone in another room? It just made me obsess about everything I was missing. Asthe months went by, my frustration with social media only increased…and yet, I still couldn’t step away. I knew I had to do something bigger. I deleted the apps entirely. I began with Snapchat. I’d been feeling embarrassed by the staggering amount of Stories others posted…while I felt I had nothing in my life worth sharing. Deleting the app proved to be anxiety-provoking: My hands would open my phone and automatically startthe same scrolling patterns to open and check the platform—but that habit weakened as days, then weeks, then months went by. At the same time, Istarted to focus on what I was*gaining*instead of what I was giving up. And,to be honest, I was getting a lot. Like at lunch, when someone asked what I did over the weekend, I felt like I had something to talk about—because I hadn’t shared it on social. Even better? I could ask my friends whatthey were up to when we were apart without already knowing the answer. I realized that by not seeing everyone’s actions every second, it made me more interested in their lives. And in turn, they seemed way more interested in what I was up to, too. There were some occasional weird interactions, like when a new friend would ask for my Snapchat…and I’d have to explain I didn’t have one. I’d always be met with a confused facial expression, but then I’d remind myself that I was taking this break for myself and offer my number instead. It took six months without Snapchat for me to finally work up the courage to break up with Instagram. But if I never 80 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 SOCIAL MEDIA ADDICTION Continued from page 69 OVERWHELMED Continued from page 57 “Put everything you need to get ready in one place—even your makeup, toothbrush, hairbrush,” says Rosenthal. “Keep it all in a container under your sink or in your room, so it’s all in one spot.” It may feel like a bit much at first, but trust us: You’ll be happy to avoid searching through six different bags for your fave pink scrunchie. DON’T SPACE OUT We know it’s tempting to check your feeds, whisper to your bestie or daydream about your Halloween plans during that double period lecture…but don’t. Zoning out in class means you may miss important instructions, tiny hacks from teachers and any must-knows for your upcoming assignments. Plus, if you’re tuned in, you’ll be more likely to ask a question in class (or after) when you need extra help. So save the daydreaming for your downtime and do your best to listen—and learn. USE YOUR RESOURCES You thought that balancing the coding club, equestrian team *and* your full slate of honors classes would be a breeze. But, shocker, turns out there just aren’t enough hours to get everything done. Feeling burned out? Time to talk to your school’s counselor or to your teachers. Tell them how much time you’re spending on extracurriculars and homework and see if they think that’s reasonable…or if there’s a study trick you can try, tutors you can use or if you simply need to scale back. Bottom line: Don’t suffer in silence. Reach out and let others help you find your way. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK Going from one frazzled moment to the next zaps your productivity. So give yourself at least a half-hour of downtime every evening to recharge, suggests Rood. Whether that means reading a book or taking a long soak in the tub, do something that’ll let you clear your head and relax instead of worrying about what’s next. Deep breaths, babe.

Loves leArning • A strong leader Likes heLping otHers SPORTY • Master cHef Friendly with eVeryone Caring • ANXIOUS BrillianT Musician and Singer ALIYA loves school, but can take on too much. She’s hardworking and reliable, and as a friend, she encourages you to be you. LEO has a sunshiny personality and is close with his family, but tends to be a people pleaser. Leo is great at making his friends feel loved. LIANN is fun and so chatty that sometimes she says things she shouldn’t. Even when she messes things up, she can always make you laugh and feel comfortable. PAISLEY is shy and attuned to other’s feelings, but she doesn’t speak up for herself. As a friend, she’s a good listener who makes you feel heard. Creative • Quirky • Can be iMpulsive LEo PAISlEy ALIYa LIANn

41728 Heartlake Downtown Diner F riE N d S hiP F riE N d S hiP FriENdShiP FriENdShiP A C TIVIT Y A C TIVIT Y ACTIVITY ACTIVITY H orse race tim e! C onstruct a track and then race y our friend to the finish line! Custo mize a LEG O® sand wich with a friend, then make it for real! Create a delicious dinner menu, and then host a dinner party with friends! Write a new friendship song with your best friend and record it in the studio. 41747 Heartlake City Community Kitchen 41748 Heartlake City Community Center LEGO, the LEGO logo and the FRIENDS logo are trademarks of the LEGO Group. ©2023The LEGO Group. LEGO, the LEGO logo and the FRIENDS logo are trademarks of the LEGO Group. ©2023The LEGO Group. LEGO, the LEGO logo and the FRIENDS logo are trademarks of the LEGO Group. ©2023The LEGO Group. LEGO, the LEGO logo and the FRIENDS logo are trademarks of the LEGO Group. ©2023The LEGO Group. 41745 Autumn’s Stable

W E ’ R E L I V I N G F O R O U R with Pressley Hosbach GL Wellness Week PROMOTION Happy! Healthy! Thriving! We love to see it. Yep, we’re up (literally) for an early-morning hike. Could bonding with Mom be any more adorable? Fitness classes from barre to bootcamp = so fun. PLUS, GL girls got to enter to win their own swag bag in our Wellness Week giveaway! We are *so* in our self-care era. And the glow-up we’re here for? Forming incredible friendships, showing ourselves compassion and taking time for our health, happiness and ~biggest~ dreams. And that’s exactly what we did (plus spectacular spa seshes, fitness classes, meditation moments, swag and so much more) at Cal-a-Vie Health Spa’s Mom & Teen Week in Vista, Calif. Stunning views and brand new besties? Obsessed, tbh. Cal-a-Vie truly is like living in a fairy tale. Soaking up the spa energy 24/7. OK, it gets better: Every night we scored can’t-miss goodies from the best hair, makeup, wellness and skincare brands. The best part of Mom & Teen Week has to be the forever friendships. Join us next year for all the fabulous fun! Go to girlslife.com/calavie24 to learn more. Scope our scrapbook of amaze memories and head to girlslife.com/ calavie23 for even more mindfulness magic. Taylor Swift would def approve of our DIY friendship bracelets.

Girls’ Life (ISSN 1078-3326, Vol. 30, Issue 2) is published bimonthly. Basicsubscription priceis $29.95 (USF). Periodical postage paid at: Baltimore, MD, and additional mailing offices. All submissions become property of Girls’ Life magazine. Reprints of Bill & Dave and And How Was Your Day? are available by sending $1 to the address below. Bill & Dave and And How Was Your Day? aretrademarks of Girls’ Life Acquisition Corp. Entirecontents ©2023. All rights reserved. POSTMASTER: Send addresschanges to Girls’ Life, 616 Water Street #324, Baltimore, MD 21202. Change of address: Pleasesend old label and new address to same. Subscription questions? Get 24/7/365 interactive customer service by logging on to girlslife.com. FASHION AND FEATURES SHOPPING GUIDE Credits for pages 1, 16-29, 60-63 and 73. All other credits on page. Adiba • adibadesigns.com Air & Anchor • airandanchor.com Alexis Bittar • alexisbittar.com Alterre • alterreny.com AmyLynn • amylynn.co.uk Anthropologie • anthropologie.com Babaton • aritzia.com Babenhome • amazon.com Ban.do • bando.com BaubleBar • baublebar.com BCBGMaxAzria • bcbg.com Bearaby • bearaby.com Beautifulfashionlife • amazon.com Blossom Hill Garden • brighton.com Bobs from Skechers • skechers.com Buenos Ninos • amazon.com Champion • champion.com Charles & Ron • charlesandron.com Charming Charlie • charmingcharlie.com Cider • shopcider.com Claire’s • claires.com Classic Prep • classicprep.com Deepa Gurnani • deepagurnani.com DHgate • dhgate.com Dr. Martens • drmartens.com Emi Jay • emijay.com Everswe • amazon.com Flygo • amazon.com Forever 21 • forever21.com Franco Sarto • francosarto.com Free People • freepeople.com Girstunm • amazon.com Glassons • glassons.com Habitual Kids • nordstrom.com Henna Shoppe • hennashoppe.com HieasyFit • amazon.com H&M • hm.com Homme Plissé Issey Miyake • us-store.isseymiyake.com House of CB London • houseofcb.com Hyipels • amazon.com Impress’d Clothing • amazon.com Jall • amazon.com J.Crew • jcrew.com Journee Collection • journeecollection.com JustFab • justfab.com Karin Jacobson • karinjacobson.com Kingmas • amazon.com Lauren Ralph Lauren • macys.com Leela by Lee Aflalo • leela.fashion LegsGalore • etsy.com/shop/legsgalore LifeStride • lifestride.com Lili Sidonio • mollybracken.com Livingston • amazon.com Loft • loft.com Maison Miru • maisonmiru.com MeMoi • memoi.com Meshki • meshki.us Motique Accessories • motiqueaccessories.com Mvefward • amazon.com MyFlowerAccessories • etsy.com/ shop/myfloweraccessories Nialaya • nialaya.com Nil+Mon • nilandmon.com Peridotcloth • etsy.com/shop/peridotcloth PinkTag • pinktag.com PrettyLittleThing • prettylittlething.us Privé Revaux • priverevaux.com Quiz • depop.com Rainbow Shops • rainbowshops.com Revolve • revolve.com River Island • riverisland.com San Diego Hat Company • sandiegohat.com Shein • us.shein.com Simone Rocha • shop-us.simonerocha.com Skechers • skechers.com Steve Madden • shoppremiumoutlets.com Target • target.com This Works • us.thisworks.com Urban Outfitters • urbanoutfitters.com Vitaly • vitalydesign.com Voz • madebyvoz.com Wilfred • aritzia.com Yemak • walmart.com Zara • zara.com 82 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 L E S S O N # 7 FEEL YOUR FEELINGS… EVEN THE BAD ONES Dr. Santos made it very clear that, in this class, the goal was not to be happy all the time. When it comes to sadness, anger and other not-so-great feelings, she explained it’s like a beach ball in the water—no matter how hard you try to push it down, it will just pop right back up. That’s why, in order to be more content, you have to feel *all* your emotions. (That said, if you’re having persistent feelings of sadness or worry, talk to a trusted adultto seek out more support for your mental health.) YOUR ASSIGNMENT: The acronym RAIN (recognize, allow, investigate and nurture) is a helpful guide I learned. Let’ssay I’m disappointed after getting that B back on the test I studied so hard for. First, I recognize how I’m feeling: Totally bummed. Then, I allow myself to process and feel those feelings (and that can mean anything from crying to writing in my journal to spending some time by myself). Afterthat, investigate the source ofthe negative emotions: Am I worried because I think this grade could have hurt my college chances? Angry because I was sure I aced it? Take the time to unpack and understand (you can also talk it through with a supportive person in your life like a close friend or parent). The most important step? Show yourself love after dealing with your feelings. Snuggle up with your pup, listen to your favorite playlist or FaceTime your bestie— whatever brings you joy. L E S S O N # 8 STOP WAITING FOR THE REPORT CARD Even though my time watching videos and doing “happiness homework” with Dr. Santos has come to an end,mywork is not done. I used to think happiness was something I had to wait for. I assumed if I just did the work of getting good grades, acing my extracurriculars and showing up for my friends that I’d get a prize of well-being on the other end. But now I know that true happiness isn’t something I’ll just achieve eventually: Turns out, happiness is possible right in this very moment. You just need to slow down and enjoy what’s around you. celebrations, I felt sad. When I opened my eyes, I felt more excited for all the family time to come. L E S S O N # 5 LIVE IN THE MOMENT Another exercise Dr. Santosshared is“savoring.” This is super useful for when you want to cultivate joy but are having trouble slowing down in a jam-packed day. The good news is that savoring doesn’t require a 30-minute meditation or a long walk: You can try it while you’re eating a piece of your Grandma’s apple pie, reading a good book, taking in stunning fall foliage or just hanging out with your bestie. YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Here’s how to savor: During a happy moment, tune into your five senses and ask yourself what you see/ hear/feel/taste/touch. Make sure you pick up on small details, like the tiny hint of cinnamon or the way your BFF always laughs silently at first. Just a few minutes of mindfulness are super centering and valuable. L E S S O N # 6 HAVE FUN, BUT MAKE IT *REAL* FUN I previously thought of thingsin two categories: fun (weekend plans with my friends) and not fun (um, cleaning my room). Dr. Santos explained it’s a bit more complex than that because not all fun is, well, real fun. Dr. Santos taught us how important it is tolet yourselfhavemorefun. Honestly,when Istopped to think aboutit, I couldn’tremember the last time I’d had actual fun. Sure, it was greatspending time with my girls…but a lot of times we’d be on our phones, dealing with group drama or just thinking about our own stressin the background. YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Do a “fun audit,” Dr. Santos suggested: Grab your journal and list, in detail, three fun times in your life. Now, identify your “fun factors,” from certain people to specific places. My list: 1) The time my best friend and I ran in the rain on a summer afternoon, 2) Walking with my sister after school and 3) Hiking with my family on a fall morning. I realized that being in nature and with my closest crew are my fun factors…and that’s what I needed to create more time for instead of another party or drama-filled hang sesh. HAPPINESS Continued from page 65

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 83 M AK E IT CUTE Your Halloween M ad L ib POV: You’re taking broomstick flying lessons. BY HALEY KRAMER AND LAILA MAYFIELD Being a witch is easy. I can cast spells and brew potions in my cauldron, no prob. But riding a broom? That’s a different . On day of broom-riding class, my instructor Mrs. tells me I’m not ready to fly. I am so that I my broom! My instructor is with me. She tells me I can’t use my broom for days. While my friends are off flying, I’m stuck at on Halloween. But I have another idea. I can borrow ’s broom and fly all the way to with and . I into room and grab their broom. I’m just about to leave when— ! “ !” OMG, it’s . Before I can make up an excuse, I hear: “I can’t believe you finally decided to clean the . Thanks so much!” Oh no! I had grabbed the wrong broom. I shake my . I think I’ll stick to spells… ADVERB NOUN ADJECTIVE ADJECTIVE ADJECTIVE ADJECTIVE FAMILY MEMBER FRIEND’S NAME SOUND YOUR NAME BODY PART OTHER FAMILY MEMBER SPOT IN YOUR HOUSE VERB SAME FAMILY MEMBER’S COLOR CRUSH’S NAME VACATION DESTINATION VERB ADJECTIVE NUMBER NUMBER FEMALE CELEB VERB ENDING IN -ING VERB ENDING IN -ING NAME OF PLACE LUXURY BRAND

sleep during the week, catching up on the weekendsistempting—we getit. Butthose snoozefests (officially known as “social jet lag”) mess with your circadian rhythm, aka yourinternal clock.AndwhenMonday a.m. rolls around? You’re even more tired. “Consistency is key. Aim to get up at about the same time each day,” advises Dr. Ojile. You can still sleep in, but don’t let your wake time vary by more than 90 minutes. So if you usually are up at 6:30 a.m. for school, aim to be out of bed by 8 on weekends. DOZING DILEMMA THE NOTORIOUS NAPPER THIS MIGHT BE YOU IF… You are using naps to make up for not falling asleep at a reasonable hour. SLEEP SOLUTION: There are lots of benefits to a nap, from increasing alertness to enhancing your mood to improving your memory, but it isn’t a substitute for a solid night of shut-eye. That’s because a complete sleep cycle takes about 90 to 120 minutes. So naps are not long enough to get that important REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is what restores your brain and builds new neural connections. If you must doze (like after you stayed up late studying), take your nap between 2 and 4 p.m. if possible (that’s when your circadian rhythm naturally dips) and set an alarm. “Short, 15- to 20-minute naps are OK, but anything longer than that really disrupts your sleep cycle,” notes pediatric sleep expert Dr. Daniel Lewin. DOZING DILEMMA THE DREADFUL DREAMER THIS MIGHT BE YOU IF… You’ve woken up disoriented or upset by your dreams. SLEEP SOLUTION: We all have nightmares occasionally. And while scientists still aren’t 100% certain about what fuels our dreams, one thing’s for sure: Having terrors more than three times a week isn’t normal and could signal stress, trauma or depression. Talk to your parents or a counselor if your nightmares are majorly affecting your life. To keep those visions of creepy clowns or failing algebra at bay, try journaling before bed to clear your head and banish negative thoughts. Dr. Lewin also recommends an exercise known as rescripting: When you wake up after a bad dream, write down what happened and then come up with a different, happier outcome. The more you do this, the more likely your brain will reprogram itself so the next time a nightmare begins, it will trigger your new ending. DOZING DILEMMA THE SERIAL SNOOZER THIS MIGHT BE YOU IF… “Just five more minutes” is your morning mantra. SLEEP SOLUTION: Rise and shine! Literally. While you might think that hitting snooze allows you to steal an extra 10 minutes of rest, it actually confuses your body because it starts prepping for a new sleep cycle, only to be disrupted. The result: Sleep inertia, which is that groggy, disoriented feeling that can last up to four hours—not exactly what you were hoping to achieve. The obvious answer is to make sure you’re getting enough sleep. Then, set your alarm for the actual time you want to wake up—and stick to it. Try placing your alarm clock out of reach (so you have to get out of bed to turn it off) or opening the blinds (our bodies are biologically programmed to wake up when exposed to natural sunlight). Anothersolution isto use a sleep-tracking app like SleepScore. Set a range of time for your alarm—like 6 to 6:30 a.m.— and it will wake you during the lightest stage of your sleep cycle. DOZING DILEMMA THE TOSS-AND-TURNER THIS MIGHT BE YOU IF… You’re up every...single...hour. SLEEP SOLUTION: Did you know that waking up during the night is wired into our DNA? Yep, every night, as your bod cycles through the sleep stages, you wake up briefly without even knowing it. And, of course, during periods of high stress, it’s completely normal to have a night or two of fitful sleep. The next time you wake up at 3 a.m., resist the urge to check TikTok or turn on another ep of Never Have I Ever. “If you can’t fall asleep within 20 minutes, it’s best to get out of bed and engage in a quiet, calm activity, such as drawing or writing in relatively dim light before trying again,” explains Dr. Lewin. (And yes, by “dim light,” we mean no screens.) Waking up frequently turning into an “all night, every night” thing (a condition known as sleep maintenance insomnia)? Schedule an appointment with your doc. DOZING DILEMMA THE ANXIOUS INSOMNIAC THIS MIGHT BE YOU IF… You lie awake at night pondering everything from the next presidential election to where loofahs come from. SLEEP SOLUTION: One in three people experiencesinsomnia in some form. That’s why it’s important to practice healthy snoozing habits. “You need to get your body and brain ready for sleep,” says Dr. Ojile. He recommends eliminating any caffeine after noon (sorry, that means no 3 p.m. Dunkin’ runs), using your bed exclusively for sleep (not for doing your homework, painting your nails, etc.) and starting a relaxing routine 30 minutes before bed to help wind down (try meditation, a hot bath or snuggles with your kitty). Still feel groggy all the time? Talk to your doctor, as it could be due to depression or a sleep disorder. DOZING DILEMMA THE SONOROUS SNORER THIS MIGHT BE YOU IF… It’s so bad, you’ve even woken *yourself* up. SLEEP SOLUTION: First things first: Snoring can be a sign of a serious condition like sleep apnea, so talk to your doctor. That said, those nocturnal noises aren’t necessarily harmful: The sounds are caused by the vibration oftissue in yourthroat and can be due to your anatomy (if you have a narrower airway or large adenoids) or anything that makes you congested, like allergies. Your sleeping position also could be to blame: Sleeping on your back, for example, makes the tissue in your throat fall and partially block your airway. Sleep on your side instead (a body pillow can help you get more comfortable) or elevate your head by using two stacked pillows or an adjustable mattress. Then you can finally score the sleep you’ve been, well, dreaming of. READ THIS…THEN GO TO BED Continued from page 73 84 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 85 WE LOVE A L IST iironically modern “broom” (grab the Swiffer out of the hall closet). 8 Winnie-the-Pooh. Everyone is gonna say “awww” to your red top, yellow skirt and, ofc, jar of honey. 9 Queen of Hearts. Besides your simple red dress and comfiest shoes, it’s a chance to go all-out with Wonderland-inspired makeup. 10 Hannah Montana. We know you have a clashing-on-purpose fit and karaoke mic just waiting for their moment in the spotlight. 11 Strawberry Shortcake. Green knee-highs and pink overalls look so sweet. 12 Mabel from Only Murders in the Building. A faux fur with head phones achieves an effortless “I’mlistening-to-a-podcast” persona. 13 Little Red Riding Hood. Just throw on a red cape. A picnic basket doubles as your trick-or-treat bag. 14 American Girl doll. Are you a Molly or a Josefina? We won’t know until we see your lewk... 1 Wednesday Addams. Pop a longsleeved black dress over a white collared shirt and braid your hair (and don’t forget your creepy choreography, natch). 2 Barbie. Who needs Ken when you’ve got pink sunnies and your brightest fit? 3 Throwback T-Swift. Gold dress and guitar? Pajama pants and the iconic “YBWM” T-shirt? It’s up to you to be fearless, bb. 4 Black cat. All your black leggings and tank need are a headband with ears and eyeliner whiskers. Meow. 5 Olivia Rodrigo. Pink tank, plaid skirt and butterfly gems will have you instantly SOUR. Or grab a burgundy lippie and darker tones to go GUTS. 6 Princess Ariel. Purple crop top, sparkly hair bling…and, yes, tying a green towel around your waist counts as a mermaid tail. 7 Witch. It’s timeless for a reason, so put on your most sophisticated black get-up then pair with an Halloween cos tumes you al ready have in your closet The cutest Tbh, the only thing we’re scared of this spooky szn is having to choose just one of these ready-to-wear ensembles… @MOMONATAMADA INSTAGRAM.COM/MOMONATAMADA.

78 GL APRIL | MAY 2020 BC WHETHER YOU’RE NEW TO CRYSTALS OR A TRIED-AND-TRUE WITCHY GAL, COULDN’T WE ALL USE A LITTLE MORE LUCK IN OUR LIVES? BY LILY JOHNSON T rendy, fun, aesthetic and quite possibly magical: Welcome to the world of crystals. Much like astrology, these multi-faceted gems are enjoying a resurgence right now. Besidesjust looking adorable on a necklace or prettying up your desk decor, crystals are also believed to hold different properties, from absorbing negative vibes to increasing confidence. Carrying, wearing or keeping a crystal close to you during a challenging time (say, Mercury retrograde) can protect you against bad energy and reduce the effects of the sky’s chaos. Think of it as a little force field that helps you tune into your truest self—and bring thatself comfortably into the universe. So with spooky season upon us, have no fear: Just reach for the crystal that your sun/rising/moon sign needs at this moment (or simply snag whichever stone speaksloudestto you). 86 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 ARIES TAURUS GEMINI CANCER BLOODSTONE BEST FOR: Clarity For a fast-moving fire sign, creative blocks can be draining. Bloodstone is associated with courage and commitment to the choices you’ve made, helping clear your mind to make decisions that feel authentic. It can be something as big as narrowing your list of prospective colleges or as small as picking a project in arts elective. Bloodstone helps you figure out what you want— and stay the course through moments of self-doubt. PYRITE BEST FOR: Increasing abundance and new opportunities Pyrite is believed to block negative vibes and is perfect for giving you a much-needed recharge when school feels tedious. As a result, you’re more likely to make rational decisions, leading to rewards later on. It can also help you find alternate solutions to problems. If parts of your day are overwhelming, consider where you feel stretched thin and take action to avoid burnout. Pyrite is on your side. RED JASPER BEST FOR: Speaking truth Geminis can feel torn about what they really want vs. what others want for them. Red jasper can help you figure out what *you* actually think. Use it when you suspect you already know the answer but worry about disappointing others. Whether it’s telling your parents you don’t want to keep playing soccer or skipping a questionable party, you’ll feel empowered when you start being more honest with others—and yourself. ANGELITE BEST FOR: Calming yourself As a Cancer, conflict or confrontation can make you want to withdraw, but sometimes there is no other choice but to speak your truth. Psychesoothing angelite can help you relax before (and after) those tough sitches, be it an inevitable bae breakup or a difficult-but-necessary discussion with a friend. Plus, when you’re calmer, you’re more confident and concise—making it easier to express yourself without losing your cool. STAR SIGNS

GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 87 LEO VIRGO L IBRA SCORPIO SAGI T TARIUS CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PI SCES TIGER’S EYE BEST FOR: Busting bad energy Believed to have been worn by Roman soldiers before battle, tiger’s eye keeps negativity at bay. As a show-stopping Leo, you attract a lot of attention— and, on occasion, jealousy or resentment. Frenemy wants to knock you down a peg? Tiger’s eye can help you feel more secure if your sense of self has been rattled, keeping you in touch with your best qualities (as well as reminding you of all the people in your life who only want the best for you). MOONSTONE BEST FOR: New beginnings As a Libra, you’re at your happiest when everything is as harmonious as possible. Moonstone increases your perception tenfold, whether it’s observing people’s unspoken feelings or identifying hidden opportunities. Whatever is causing imbalance, moonstone allows you to see and address it. Feeling lonely? Moonstone gives you the push to create new connections. In a rut? It helps you assess everything through wiser, calmer eyes. CARNELIAN BEST FOR: Confidence Virgos are notorious for working themselves into full burnout. Obviously, a crystal can’t magically restore you if you aren’t sleeping enough or eating well, but it *can* help you remember how important those things are. Carnelian is about boosting physical and emotional wellness, prompting you to prioritize rest and selfcare. The bonus? When you cut yourself some slack, you may find yourself feeling your most powerful yet. CITRINE BEST FOR: Finding the positive in negative situations Scorpios are known for calling out uncomfortable truths others would rather ignore. But that can take a toll, leaving you feeling like everyone’s a little against you. Sometimes, the answer really is as simple as a perspective shift—and citrine can help. Associated with a glass-half-full attitude, it encourages excitement about your own abilities to change your life…and pushes others to feel the same. ROSE QUARTZ BEST FOR: Relationship repair Sag’s spontaneity and sharp humor can draw people in, but it can also cause conflict: One quip can go in like an archer’s arrow, pushing a friend away. Rose quartz is here to help—it represents a gentle kind of love, the sort that opens your heart and mind beyond any initial defensiveness. It’s the perfect stone to clasp before a hard conversation, setting the intention of seeing the best in the other person and finding a way forward together. GREEN JADE BEST FOR: Manifesting big, daunting changes You have a knack for envisioning a beautiful future, whether it’s how the world should be or how you want your life to look. Taking the steps to get there, however, can be intimidating. Green jade helps you create the life you want—even when you doubt your own fortitude. It also increases your trust in others: After all, that one friend you confide in might be exactly the support you need to get to the finish line. HEMATITE BEST FOR: Grounding Capricorns are defined by their dreams, their hard work to reach them and their habit of always finding new goals to strive for. While the rewards are nice, the process of getting there can induce burnout. Hematite pulls you back into your own body, helping you breathe and remember that taking a break can work wonders. It also provides mental clarity, which flows back the moment you finally hit that pause button. AMETHYST BEST FOR: Handling emotions As a Pisces, you generally embrace your feelings (good and bad) because you believe you can learn something valuable from them. But sometimes, these emotions linger longer than we want or need them to. Amethyst is definitely eye-catching, but it’s irresistible for another reason: its calming abilities. Highly associated with stress relief and peacefulness, amethyst can even out your emotions and help you find balance.

88 GL OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2023 I gotinvited to my crush’s house for Halloween, and I could not have been more excited. Ispent hours working on a very elaborate vampire outfit… justto showup to the whole friend group playing video games. Yeah,turns outitwas *not* a costume party. —JULIANNA K. I sort of dated this guy back in elementary school, but I was starting to secretly crush on him again. I was in art class when my friend yells across the room, “Izzy, remember when you used to date Chase? That was so funny!” He was clearly embarrassed. So much for that one. —IZZY N. My mom took my friends and me shopping at the mall. We all decided to try on a random outfit (not in our usual style) and put on a super silly fashion show outside the dressing room. Right when I was striking a pose at the end of the aisle, a bunch of cute guys in the grade above us walked by and stared at me. —CAYLEE T. I ran out of clean bras, so my mom threw in a load while I was at school. That afternoon, I was planning on practicing a presentation with a couple of classmates—but when we opened the door to my room, all my bras were hanging from the ceiling fan to dry. Let’s just say we headed to the library after that. —POLLY C. I was picking up my new friend from soccer at her house to go trick or treating. She loves pranks, so I thought it would be funny to pop out from behind a tree and scare her when she came to the door. When I heard her coming, I leapt out making all kinds of weird sounds…until I realized it was her older sister. She had no idea who I was, so she just screamed and slammed the door. —FIONA F. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...someone calls you out for only eating the marshmallows on your mom’s sweet potatoes. —JORDYN G. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...you come back from the bathroom with your skirt caught in your tights. —MEREDITH W. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...the pigs in a blanket are a *little* too good and you end up with a stomachache before the meal even begins. —GWEN Z. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...you accidentally use salt instead of sugar for your famous apple pie. Blech. —AMIRAH R. …you text your crush to enjoy allthe turkey and he reminds you he’s a vegetarian. —SARAH M. T H AT AW K WA R D M O M E N T W H E N … ...you take the cousins’ football game too seriously and twist your ankle. —CAMILLA J. On the way to a swim meet, my sister and I were belting out our ‘Get Hype’ playlist. What we *didn’t* know? Our friend was putting the whole thing on her Insta Story—even the part where we were screaming along to old Hannah Montana songs. –HAYDEN B. My crush loves Snickers bars,so I decided to drop one on his desk for Halloween, hoping he’d think it was cute. He didn’tsee me do it,so he keptsaying “Who brought me a Snickers?! Thisisso random!” I just sunk in my seat and said nothing. —LAYLAH S. TOP LEFT: ADAM HESTER/GETTY IMAGES. O D E T O AWK

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