For Elianna

For my niece Elianna

May you know that you are never alone

I have watched you

grow

You are eight now and I know
you are becoming more aware.

I am creating this book to
let you know that someone

understands.

“To be human means to be like god,
which means to seek maat, or good and
righteousness in relationships with
oneself, others and communities.” -
Patricia Dixon

What we want for our sisters

I spent a lot of time in competition with other women and I
want to save you from the same. The women you have in your
life and the ones that will come in the future are STRONG.
Each has a unique spiritual gift and so do you. I want you
to understand and grow your gifts as well as helping others
know theirs. Sacrifice and love my child, remember these two
words. We will support other women and be vulnerable enough
to let them support us.

ubuntu-I am
because we are

Don’t give up on the ones you love

I know that you are aware by now that our family might be a
bit complicated. You are starting to learn about addiction
and all of the issues it brings. But I want to encourage you
to never lose the love you have for family. Sometimes they
will hurt you but I promise you it will never be because
they don’t love you. What they have is a medical condition
they can’t control and trust me I know it can be hard to
understand but we are family no matter what. Giving up is
easy, but love will make a difference.

“Children learn about race
through school, their peers,
media, and may internalize
racial stereotypes.” - Patricia
dixon

Let’s talk about race

Your mama told me recently that you were upset because you wanted blonde,
straight hair and blue eyes. I know it must be strange to be look a bit
different from the rest of the family. But Elianna I want you to know that you
are so beautiful. Your father is Columbian and you have a very different, rich
history that I hope you will take the time to learn about. I promise to help
you understand how special your background is and I have friends of Columbian
descent who would love to teach you as well. Above all please do not forget
that blonde hair and blue eyes are not the only definition of beautiful. YOU
are UNIQUE.

“Intimacy in general terms
is a song of spirit inviting
two people to come and share
their spirit together.” -
Sobonfu some

Intimacy is not scary

Opening up can be scary especially after you have been hurt.
But if you allow spirit to guide you, it will bring you only
to the right people. When you are in touch with spirit you
don’t have to be afraid of intimacy. ALso realize that
intimacy is not just between a boy and a girl as TV tells us
it is. Intimacy is between you and anyone you care about.
There are so many people around to provide your need for
love and I hope you never forget that.

Other mothers/fathers

Growing up there was a woman in my life who acted as a
mother to me when mine wasn’t able to. I know you have had
the Millers to take care of you and act as parents. I want
to make sure you fully understand and appreciate these
people who act as other mothers and fathers for you. When it
feels like love isn’t around just look to these people and
you will find it again.

I have created this book for you to try to teach you some of the very important lessons i
have learned this last semester. I hope that i can save you from even some of the trouble
that i have been through. I spent my whole life subscribing to certain views without even
understanding them. This semester i took a black family studies class and we learned
about the way america and europe view the world compared to how other places view it and
it has opened my eyes. Just because you are raised with certain ideas does not mean you
always have to believe those. Continue to question everything as you go through life. I
have been challenged in so many ways and i know i have a long way to go but i now have
the tools to work through it. I hope i can now pass some of those tools onto you and
provide love and support that i didn’t know i even had before this class.

Love, auntie miss shayna